ManUtd1 Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 (edited) "So, wait...you're telling me that Cesare Bovo joined up with Italy 5 days ago, and you've already completed the interviews? Ok, then. It wasn't meant to be. Have fun LOSING, you losers." A long, uncomfortable silence settles over the conversation. "What did they say next, Boss?" "Nothing, Zlatan. That's...that's what I would have said, but they didn't even call. They just sent an email addressed to 'Johnny Blue.' They couldn't even get my name right." Edited November 2, 2018 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 I should have hired Kevin, for the sheer cheek of having submitted an application in the first instance. Of course, the job is going to Zlatan, but these guys don't know that. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadCatPT Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 Leeds just to make Gary Neville be committed would be fun. Also: 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 If Leeds opens up, I have to try to go there... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HawkAussie Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 One must be, to use an British only team just to make things interesting Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 3, 2018 Author Share Posted November 3, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, HawkAussie said: One must be, to use an British only team just to make things interesting If there were a narrative reason to do so, sure. And I am secretly hoping that Leeds will open up. My preferred destinations are there and one other... But we have to wait. I've got to sort out my first Portugal squad and only got halfway through before having to leave. Some tremendous players in the pool, no question. Edited November 3, 2018 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 3, 2018 Author Share Posted November 3, 2018 A solid start to life with the Seleção das Quinas, although I did not understand why the phone in the dressing room was ringing off the hook at halftime against Ukraine...I had work to do, for ****'s sake. And the lads did it. We had a solid 2nd half. But word has filtered back from the FPF...apparently that was Cristiano on the phone. They've demanded that I pick up next time and in the future. **** that. If he wanted to manage Portugal, he should have put in for the job. Who does he think he is, anyways?! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 3, 2018 Author Share Posted November 3, 2018 Not good enough, lads. Not good enough. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 3, 2018 Author Share Posted November 3, 2018 Remarkably, Ukraine with the Group and Germany are relegated. Not what anyone would have expected, I'm sure... And, as relaxing as this Fall has been, we're ready for things to ramp up. We want to get back into the club game. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe. Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 Disappointed with the lack of Jünter again, I was sure we’d see more of him this time around! Nevertheless, good work. Have just caught up with everything having given these forums a miss for quite some time. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 3, 2018 Author Share Posted November 3, 2018 2 hours ago, Joe. said: Disappointed with the lack of Jünter again, I was sure we’d see more of him this time around! Nevertheless, good work. Have just caught up with everything having given these forums a miss for quite some time. Good to have you back! Yeah, Junter just... Never happened. No real reason, I just never brought him into the mix. Ah well... Can't wait to get home tonight, we're right at the point in December where people are going to start getting fired... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadCatPT Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe. Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 I’m routing for either Valencia or Fiorentina next.. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 4, 2018 Author Share Posted November 4, 2018 1 hour ago, Joe. said: I’m routing for either Valencia or Fiorentina next.. I'm just itching to get at the laptop... Family friends over for dinner... Ready for them to go Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 4, 2018 Author Share Posted November 4, 2018 I don't know how much more "rest and relaxation" I can take. Zlatan and Drake have been playing VR Mario Kart for the last 3 weeks...if I hear any more complaints about Zlatan's use of the shortcuts in Wario Stadium... Well, let's just say I cannot be held responsible for my actions. Frankfurt called, but it is too soon for us to go back to Germany. It' wouldn't be right. A few other intriguing possibilities are out there on the horizon, we'll just have to wait and see. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 4, 2018 Author Share Posted November 4, 2018 Just a quick CL update, while we wait for a club position to open up... Crvena Zvezda! Impressive. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 4, 2018 Author Share Posted November 4, 2018 The path to Scotland/Wales 2036 seems straightforward. Slovakia and Lichtenstein are up next. The longer we've spent away from the club game, the more prepared we are to return. We've declined a number of opportunities, but the right one appears to be just over the horizon... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 4, 2018 Author Share Posted November 4, 2018 (edited) Where no paths exist, a man strays only when he misses his destination. UC Sampdoria / Portugal -- April 2035 Nearly a year has passed since our triumph at Old Trafford. A year of further triumph, change, and relaxation...far too much of the latter for our liking, if I'm being honest. We passed up multiple opportunities along the way -- they just were not right. But here...in Italy...a club with history. A club seemingly stuck mid-table. A club with aspirations. I think we will enjoy our time with the Blucerchiati...Zlatan loves the fact that La Samp claim the first "Ultras" group ever, he'll fit right in in the Gradinata Sud. Edited November 4, 2018 by ManUtd1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
oriole01 Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 This should be absolutely brilliant. Sampdoria were the only "original" club you never managed on the previous save, so it's been a long time coming. Good luck on the rebuild! 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 4, 2018 Author Share Posted November 4, 2018 4 minutes ago, oriole01 said: This should be absolutely brilliant. Sampdoria were the only "original" club you never managed on the previous save, so it's been a long time coming. Good luck on the rebuild! That is certainly another factor that I took note of, even if it wasn't the tipping point. To be fair, the AI won the CL with Arsenal, so I didn't manage them (and perhaps another...). Should be good fun. It actually came down to Sampdoria or Shakhtar, as I had an offer from both. The Ukrainians should be around when the timing is right - while very tempting, they'd be a better fit with either no international side or a non-European national side. It'd be crazy trying to bring a bunch of Portuguese youth to Ukraine! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadCatPT Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 Never seem a steward as happy as that guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 4, 2018 Author Share Posted November 4, 2018 (edited) 14 minutes ago, MadCatPT said: Never seem a steward as happy as that guy. There is a great photo of him about to grab her Edited November 4, 2018 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fer Fuchs Ake Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 26 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said: There is a great photo of him about to grab her Looks like a meme template 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 4, 2018 Author Share Posted November 4, 2018 7 minutes ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said: Looks like a meme template I've trained my whole life for this... Captain Corrigan is flying without a license!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadCatPT Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 Even the woman is happy Zlatan will be one being harassed this time. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 5, 2018 Author Share Posted November 5, 2018 People can do great things. However, there are some things they just can't do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle, despite years of effort. UC Sampdoria / Portugal -- 2034/35 Season Review 6 weeks in Italy...the squad is a mess. We need to rebuild from top to bottom. Too old. Too short. Too crap. This is the biggest bunch of frauds who ever frauded a fraud. In Italy, no less. Watching this side struggle has been painful. Zlatan described the horror of watching our defending against set pieces as "feeling like someone is inflating a bag full of urine inside The Zlatan, and not in a good way." Hard to disagree with that...I really don't want any further detail, for obvious reasons. My Italian is also very poor, which means communication with the squad is a challenge. Drake swears he can get by, and just keeps yelling "la fame mia sono bretelle di pompieri!" in a really exaggerated Italian accent (with heavy Irish brogue). He swears he's telling them to keep it tight at the back. Seems close enough...right?! Then again, it isn't working. A purge is coming, lads. Few of you will be here in 3 months' time. Goals for 2035/36: Qualify for the Euros with Portugal. Qualify for the Europa League. Squad|League Overview|Finances Overview|Income Detail|Expenditures Detail|Transfers Serie A Fixtures (1)|Serie A Fixtures (2)|TIM Cup Fixtures Champions League Review Frank De Boer's Leicester has been threatening for years, and this year they went and did it. Champions of Europe after extra time against Nagelsman's Gladbach. Challenge Overview Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
oriole01 Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 8 million in the red? Jesus christ 25 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said: A purge is coming, lads. Few of you will be here in 3 months' time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 5, 2018 Author Share Posted November 5, 2018 (edited) 7 minutes ago, oriole01 said: 8 million in the red? Jesus christ Stalin with those epic beats... Edited November 5, 2018 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 5, 2018 Author Share Posted November 5, 2018 Ok...before we march onwards in-game, and get to the purging, we need to take a quick look around the Continent. In England, the Manchester sides were well and truly beaten this year, with Pep the Bald's Chelsea taking home the title. Is this the end of Manchester's dominance? 72 year-old Mourinho has left United of his own accord, but has yet to retire. City fired Deschamps for the utter blasphemy of finishing 6th and winning the Europa League. So, whether the Manchester dominance will continue hinges very much on who replaces them. Gladbach defended their Bundesliga title. urCristiano's Madrid won yet another La Liga. PSG. Partizan is cranking away on another unbeaten streak, with Crvena Zvedza and Cucaricki putting that Champions League money to good use, running away from the broader pack. Shakhtar were horrid, finishing 3rd. Djurgardens popped up with a win in the Allsvenskan. AEK continues to show signs of possible emergence. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 5, 2018 Author Share Posted November 5, 2018 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 5, 2018 Author Share Posted November 5, 2018 Now that these qualifiers are out of the way, the purge can begin in earnest. "Zlatan, bring me a box of red pens, a pot of coffee and some jelly beans! We've got work to do." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigmattb28 Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 Wow, the teams you turned down for Sampdoria are like a who's who of top European teams, can understand why with the challenge in mind of why you turned them down. Good luck, I've always had a soft spot for Sampdoria, don't know, maybe it's the kit Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 5, 2018 Author Share Posted November 5, 2018 2 hours ago, bigmattb28 said: Wow, the teams you turned down for Sampdoria are like a who's who of top European teams, can understand why with the challenge in mind of why you turned them down. Good luck, I've always had a soft spot for Sampdoria, don't know, maybe it's the kit Thanks, man! That's exactly my thought. The only one I really had to think about was Roma, which was right at the time Sampdoria opened up. I just wasn't feeling them at this point in the save. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 5, 2018 Author Share Posted November 5, 2018 FIFA's crackdown on three striker systems is getting deadly serious. Once the subject of innocent "banter" on the internet, now the stuff of nightmares. Pulis aside, no one has seen Big Sam Allardyce in months. Whether he has gone into hiding or been "disappeared" is anyone's guess. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 6, 2018 Author Share Posted November 6, 2018 (edited) I've spent the better part of the last week working to secure Serge Yao and Jacques Adukor on loan, good through the end of next season, with reasonable options to buy them at any point. Two of the most promising youngsters we'd brought in, during our time in Germany. And what have Zlatan and Drake been doing? Arguing about whether there was room on the raft for Jack. They even built a "to scale" model in the pool out back, each convinced that it would prove their point. Even at a stretch, that's a 3-day project. But it turns out Zlatan was wrong...and if you know Zlatan, he'll never admit he's wrong, he just doubles down. That's how we ended up with actual blocks of ice floating in the pool, and Drake dressed like a posh Englishwoman from 1912. So, yeah. You could say we've been busy. Edited November 6, 2018 by ManUtd1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 6, 2018 Author Share Posted November 6, 2018 First, he followed in my footsteps at Partizan. Now the Midget Beast has taken over at Gladbach, after Nagelsmann took the PSG job. What an utter thunder***t. I guess it is no surprise that a man of his stature needs to stand on the shoulders of others to be noticed. As ever it was, eh? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 6, 2018 Author Share Posted November 6, 2018 Barring something unplanned in the last weeks of the transfer window, our business is done. The purge is complete. Youth have promoted or brought in to replace the dead wood. Yao, Adukor and Asara in on loan through June 2037, each with a reasonable option to purchase. It's a start. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 6, 2018 Author Share Posted November 6, 2018 I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. UC Sampdoria / Portugal -- September 2035 Perhaps running a squad of 23 is overkill in a season where we have no European competition, but the side is young. The subs will rotate in with our U20s and U18s. Landing Okechukwu on a loan from Gladbach is another solid steal -- he's here through June 2037, with a reasonable optional fee negotiated. He immediately steps into the 1st XI. And our first Serie A match, in a Della Lanterna derby, is the perfect start. A 4-3 win. We play well away to Milan, but cannot grab a point. Portugal...we're on fire. Rampant. Blooding a host of debutantes this cycle, we're set for the long term. No, Zlatan, I didn't mean it in that way...get your mind out of the gutter. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 6, 2018 Author Share Posted November 6, 2018 So when you say psychosomatic, you mean like he could start a fire with his thoughts?! UC Sampdoria / Portugal -- October 2035 Portugal continue to run rampant. It is early to say this, but the 2038 World Cup squad will easily be more talented than the World Cup winning Mexico and Croatian sides...by miles. It isn't even a close call. And, really...a 93rd minute penalty when we're up 10-nil in Liechtenstein...? Come on, ref. Have a heart. Domestically we're struggling, but wins over Juventus and Roma (sitting bottom of the table, with 3 draws and 4 losses from 7 matches) mean that my job is safe for now. Zlatan and Drake were gung ho for "the purge" in the summer, but now that things are a bit more challenging, they're getting nervous. Zlatan is half-convinced that we died in a car accident last Spring, at that we're stuck in some bizarre form of purgatory. It's hard to reason with him when he's like this. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe. Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 Ouch! vs Udinese Good couple of wins in there though. This one feels like a good project, could take 4-5 seasons to get there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 6, 2018 Author Share Posted November 6, 2018 28 minutes ago, Joe. said: Ouch! vs Udinese Good couple of wins in there though. This one feels like a good project, could take 4-5 seasons to get there. That's definitely my projection. That Udinese match was a sh*tshow. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadCatPT Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 It's not the destination, it's the journey! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 7, 2018 Author Share Posted November 7, 2018 The fieldmouse is fast, but the owl sees at night. UC Sampdoria / Portugal -- November 2035 A triumphant end to the Euros qualifying campaign. We're off to Scotland/Wales 2036 and have to be considered among the favorites. Domestically, we're on fire. Granted we've been playing some rather poor opposition these last few weeks. But every point counts. Our goal is merely to develop the squad this year, as a Europa League slot seems too much to expect at this stage. Isn't it? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 7, 2018 Author Share Posted November 7, 2018 This is about as straightforward a World Cup qualifying draw as we could have asked for. And the Champions League throws up some interesting results (e.g., Monaco's elimination at the hands of Brugge, Barcelona's elimination, Leipzig going through ahead of Inter on goal difference), but in the end it looks like an uphill battle for the eligible and potentially-eligible teams in the knockout rounds. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 7, 2018 Author Share Posted November 7, 2018 The fieldmouse is fast, but the owl sees at night. UC Sampdoria / Portugal -- December 2035 Our domestic run continues, with an eleven-match unbeaten run propelling us to 2nd place. It won't last. It can't. Zlatan and Drake are extremely superstitious. Meaning that we can't do obvious, necessary things (get a haircut, shave, trim our toenails, etc) while the streak is still on. Before the Empoli match, I had had enough and flossed for the first time in weeks. It felt great. After we struggled to get out of 1st gear (before pulling out the win), Zlatan and Drake wouldn't talk to me for 2 days, convinced that the poor result was a direct result of my intransigence. There's a very fine line between humoring them and sheer madness...I'm not entirely sure which side of the line I'm on, if I'm being honest. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 8, 2018 Author Share Posted November 8, 2018 All good things must come to an end. "Does this mean that you idiots will finally start brushing your teeth, bathing, and so on? You and Drake look like ZZ Top on meth." "Let's not get hasty, Boss...maybe this is the Universe testing The Zlatan's resolve, yes? A karmic challenge, to the death!" "That's ridiculous." "The Zlatan thinks it is you who is being ridiculous, Boss. We cannot change our habits that have brought such good luck, that could be bad luck!" "Can we...how about you take some showers, for ****s sake?! Let's start small, build from there. Maybe -- don't look at me like that, I said maybe -- swish some mouthwash around in your gob for a few. Baby steps, yeah?" "The Zlatan will consider it." "And the jars of urine?" "Oh, we'll hang on to those." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Cactus Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 Brilliant as always, good things come to thos who launch a mass cull upon taking over a new club, or whatever that old saying is. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 8, 2018 Author Share Posted November 8, 2018 (edited) 24 minutes ago, King Cactus said: Brilliant as always, good things come to thos who launch a mass cull upon taking over a new club, or whatever that old saying is. (h/t @oriole01) [Edit: Thanks, man!] Edited November 8, 2018 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fer Fuchs Ake Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 32 minutes ago, King Cactus said: Brilliant as always, good things come to thos who launch a mass cull upon taking over a new club, or whatever that old saying is. No, I'm pretty sure that's what it's always been. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted November 8, 2018 Author Share Posted November 8, 2018 28 minutes ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said: No, I'm pretty sure that's what it's always been. I think you're confusing that, with the old Irish saying about taking a **** through the sunroof of a parked car. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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