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Saving Football: Frauding A Nation


Deisler26

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What a start :)

 

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What a buzzkill :rolleyes:

Even more worryingly, we sold 2.5k season tickets yet only 2.2k bothered to turn up on the opening match day. Safe to assume we won't be making much money on the gates...

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32 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

It really throws off the Feng Shui of the thread.  We might have to move the ficus closer to the bust of Roberto Mancini.

 

11 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

But I already moved the Mancini bust to compensate!  You're going to make me move it back!?

See, should have moved the ficus when you had the chance.

Moving all those scarves is hell.

3 minutes ago, smp20 said:

Even more worryingly, we sold 2.5k season tickets yet only 2.2k bothered to turn up on the opening match day.

Bloody hell, some of us are *hoping* to sell 300 season tickets.... :lol:

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14 hours ago, BoxToBox said:

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That's ten, (TEN) clean sheets on the bounce, in the 1st half of a Youth Only save. :herman:

If this was anyone else other than @BoxToBoxI would be asking questions. #BusinessAsUsual :applause:

In other news, this is making me wish that I had started in France rather than Iceland and moving onto France. I may have managed Stade Rennais for a few years, but I feel like I have missed out on France and really just scratched the surface. 

Are any of you lot thinking of doing something similar at the start of FM19? Doesn't have to be France. Could be anywhere. 

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August 15, 2017.

Dear Diary, 

We're still in the parking lot.  The lads are getting restless.

The Chairman won't intervene, says it is for me to sort out with the U14s.

I was laying out cones before training when their captain, Amelie, came walking through on her way to the beautiful grass pitch...surrounded by her teammates.  I tried to talk some sense into her, now that their tournament is over.

She just laughed, kicked over my cones and kept walking. 

They all laughed.

I cried.

My team, lacing up their boots, saw the whole thing.

They laughed.

I shouted at them incoherently for 10 minutes before sending them home for the day.

We didn't train.

I cried some more in my car.

F*** my life.

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7 hours ago, BoxToBox said:

Youth Intake Day!

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The fact that Perez has 5.0 PA could mean that he will be very good, (or it could also mean that your best players are currently very bad). 

The fact that Perez has 1.5 CA and looks like that suggests that it's the latter rather than the former. (Still, can't complain about a Youth Intake that has a 5.0 PA player in it). :thup:

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7 minutes ago, Jimbokav1971 said:

That's ten, (TEN) clean sheets on the bounce, in the 1st half of a Youth Only save. :herman:

If this was anyone else other than @BoxToBoxI would be asking questions. #BusinessAsUsual :applause:

In other news, this is making me wish that I had started in France rather than Iceland and moving onto France. I may have managed Stade Rennais for a few years, but I feel like I have missed out on France and really just scratched the surface. 

Are any of you lot thinking of doing something similar at the start of FM19? Doesn't have to be France. Could be anywhere. 

Unlike a lot of the guys(and by extension a lot of the teams around the lower reaches of France) I inherited a relatively balanced squad. Something that doesn't often happen in a lower league or youth save, never mind the two combined. Two CB's, Two Fullbacks, A DM, Two CM, Two Wingers, a Striker and a decent goalie. Meant I could put together a sensible tactic I knew my way around, and was at an advantage against most of the AI teams.

If people are up for it, I'll happily do one of these again for 19, France(once the lower league file is active, for Bayonne again :D) or anywhere.

4 minutes ago, Jimbokav1971 said:

The fact that Perez has 5.0 PA could mean that he will be very good, (or it could also mean that your best players are currently very bad). 

The fact that Perez has 1.5 CA and looks like that suggests that it's the latter rather than the former. (Still, can't complain about a Youth Intake that has a 5.0 PA player in it). :thup:

I think it's a bit of both. Our team isn't good overall, but I do reckon this lad has the potential to be better than any of them, perhaps reach the lower levels of professional French football.

That said, for us, an absolute gem, that the chairman will probably sell for a pack of beans sometime in the next season or so, money is dodgy.

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14 minutes ago, Jimbokav1971 said:

That's ten, (TEN) clean sheets on the bounce, in the 1st half of a Youth Only save. :herman:

If this was anyone else other than @BoxToBoxI would be asking questions. #BusinessAsUsual :applause:

In other news, this is making me wish that I had started in France rather than Iceland and moving onto France. I may have managed Stade Rennais for a few years, but I feel like I have missed out on France and really just scratched the surface. 

Are any of you lot thinking of doing something similar at the start of FM19? Doesn't have to be France. Could be anywhere. 

I'd absolutely be up for something like this on FM19!

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15 minutes ago, Jimbokav1971 said:

That's ten, (TEN) clean sheets on the bounce, in the 1st half of a Youth Only save. :herman:

If this was anyone else other than @BoxToBoxI would be asking questions. #BusinessAsUsual :applause:

In other news, this is making me wish that I had started in France rather than Iceland and moving onto France. I may have managed Stade Rennais for a few years, but I feel like I have missed out on France and really just scratched the surface. 

Are any of you lot thinking of doing something similar at the start of FM19? Doesn't have to be France. Could be anywhere. 

I'm up for it as well!

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3 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

If people are up for it, I'll happily do one of these again for 19, France(once the lower league file is active, for Bayonne again :D) or anywhere.

 

3 minutes ago, Jupjamie said:

I'd absolutely be up for something like this on FM19!

 

1 minute ago, Makoto Nakamura said:

I'm up for it as well!

Not sure I am keen on waiting around for a lower league file. I usually just start and keep going on the 1 save. It would be decent to have a few Youth Only saves starting in the same place though. This thread is a brilliant idea. :thup:

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August 21, 2017.

Dear Diary, 

I showed that **** Amelie.

The U14s were all so happy to beat Pau's U14s, they decided to tailgate in the parking lot afterwards, giggling and laughing without a care in the world.  Meaning that we couldn't train.

Her mom apparently had too much champagne at the tailgate.

She went into the clubhouse for a bit, to get out of the sun, and found me weeping.

Not wanting to admit that her daughter was ruining my life -- and, seeing an opportunity  -- I told her that I'd just learned that my sister had passed away.

(I don't have a sister.)

She tried to comfort me.  I let her.  We [REDACTED] like naughty, filthy bunnies for at least 35 minutes.  Neither one of us will walk straight for a week.

Who's laughing now, Amelie, you little ****?

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3 minutes ago, Jimbokav1971 said:

 

 

Not sure I am keen on waiting around for a lower league file. I usually just start and keep going on the 1 save. It would be decent to have a few Youth Only saves starting in the same place though. This thread is a brilliant idea. :thup:

I'm really not *that* bothered, and of course not at all outside of France, any league is fine.

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I'd love to join in for a thing like this in FM19 even though I can't manage like at all. I'd preferably want it to be in a lesser known country like the BeNeLux or Turkey but i'll most likely still join if we're going to Germany, Italy or Spain.

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11 minutes ago, Minuy600 said:

I'd love to join in for a thing like this in FM19 even though I can't manage like at all. I'd preferably want it to be in a lesser known country like the BeNeLux or Turkey but i'll most likely still join if we're going to Germany, Italy or Spain.

Or San Marino? :brock:

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42 minutes ago, Jimbokav1971 said:

Are any of you lot thinking of doing something similar at the start of FM19? Doesn't have to be France. Could be anywhere. 

I'd love it if we did the same in Swaziland next year. 

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2 minutes ago, Jupjamie said:

Or San Marino? :brock:

No lower divisions :(

Kosovo, Faroe Islands or Wales would be neat too, those are the worst three European countries with more than 2 divisions.

 

Or Northern Mariana Islands if we're gonna be terribly low down anyway.

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12 minutes ago, Minuy600 said:

I'd love to join in for a thing like this in FM19 even though I can't manage like at all. I'd preferably want it to be in a lesser known country like the BeNeLux or Turkey but i'll most likely still join if we're going to Germany, Italy or Spain.

My therapist says I am not allowed to even discuss the possibility of managing in Germany after the #RegensburgGate debacle/fiasco/shambles. :herman:

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42 minutes ago, Minuy600 said:

I'd love to join in for a thing like this in FM19 even though I can't manage like at all. I'd preferably want it to be in a lesser known country like the BeNeLux or Turkey but i'll most likely still join if we're going to Germany, Italy or Spain.

31 minutes ago, Jupjamie said:

Or San Marino? :brock:

28 minutes ago, Minuy600 said:

No lower divisions :(

Kosovo, Faroe Islands or Wales would be neat too, those are the worst three European countries with more than 2 divisions.

 

Or Northern Mariana Islands if we're gonna be terribly low down anyway.

Sounds like we know of at least one thread for 19...

27 minutes ago, Deisler26 said:

Regional Germany FTW

YAAAASSSSSS.

28 minutes ago, Jimbokav1971 said:

My therapist says I am not allowed to even discuss the possibility of managing in Germany after the #RegensburgGate debacle/fiasco/shambles. :herman:

What she doesn't know won' t hurt her.  Am I right, or am I right?

30 minutes ago, Jimbokav1971 said:

@ManUtd1In all seriousness, you should write a book about 1 single FM19 save and get it published. I would buy it. 

Wait a minute...that sounds like work to me.

suspicious true detective GIF

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September 12, 2017.

Dear Diary, 

2 wins on the bounce to kick off the season gave me the credibility to march into the Chairman's office (it's really a Tough Shed, but he calls it "his office," so we oblige) and demand access to the fields.

"Just imagine how well we would play if we were able to train properly!"  

We have access to the fields.  On a conditional basis, contingent on our performance over the rest of the month.

As I sauntered out to alert the lads, I shot Amelie a triumphant look.  She just flipper her hair and went back to talking with her mates.

"Suck it, you ****," I laughed, muttering under my breath.

The stars must have aligned, because at that very moment, my phone began to ring.  It was Mrs. Amelie, her mom.  (I'm embarrassed to say that I have forgotten her name.)

I let it go to voicemail.

I'm playing hard to get.

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End of Season 2017/18

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We beat the media's pre-season prediction of 11th so I'm happy, next season I'll try not to have such a bonkers tactic.

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2017/18 Best XI

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Matheo Imbert

Omar Mdahoma - Enzo Peritore - Nordine Assami - Yoann Assoumin

 

                                                                                           Jonathan Santiago

Oumar Diop       -       Mokhtar Benarbia       -       Ennys Hammoud

Samir Talbi - Neili Rahal

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January 2018 Update

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We started well but a few sending offs and a couple of bad results saw us swap our ball-winning midfielders for segundo volante's in our newly named Vol-au-Volante system. We've been on a cracking run of form, including some big wins in the cup. We've just beaten 3-divisions-above Bourg en Bresse 5-2 in the cup to make the 10th round (how many bloody rounds are there).

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We're top of the table, but Cannes aren't far off and Endoume, Ajaccio B and St-Jean have also been in good form. We need to maintain our form to keep our top spot.

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We've got a pretty settled side, lead up front by man-mountain Manset and Genious Genest playing in behind or on the wing.

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Of course it's not all good news though. We're nearly £1.5m in debt and it's only going to get worse!

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1 minute ago, Deisler26 said:

Change your name to Baston Villa

I find myself, once again, out of reputation to give.  Meaning Borat will have to express my reaction at reading this comment.  

page la GIF

*sigh*

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Just now, Deisler26 said:

I guess I should point out that this isn't an exclusive save. Anyone can join in and take part. The youth of France's 5th tier awaits you!

I think my career with a Lithuanian grain processing corporation team is far too legitimate for this fraudness :herman:

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Finding the new Fraudane - Cannes it be done?
 

24th of February 2018 - Special announcement


 

Henry Santini came back home after another normal training day. As usual, he conceded to the players' requests to finish training early to go take a relaxing swim in the French Riviera beaches. Which now that he thought about it, was slightly odd that they would request that given it's February; plus also slightly unusual today that actually no players were on the training ground and it was Henry himself who requested it in his head, just repeating the daily habit, he guessed. But hey, such slight oddities never distracted Henry, who was always fully focused on his footballing ideas, not even the slightly weird scenario he faced when he arrived at the training ground, the front door was locked, and he had to sneak in through the locker room window.

No this was just another normal day, and he only started smelling something weird in the air, when he arrived back home and found a dirty shoe with a moldy potato in it, next to his mailbox. And that's just because moldy potatoes smell weird.

It was really only when Henry browsed the online local newspaper and found this, that he realized something had gone horribly wrong:
 

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Henry's world collapsed in that instant. Disoriented, he went back to that dirty shoe and found a written note attached to the potato. "Avec les compliments of le Académie des Fraudes. For trés extraordináire quickness in achievién le sack. Merci."

Now what would Henry do? How did things reach this state? Nothing had indicated this could've happened. The players were so happy in the training ground, when they weren't constantly begging to finish the training sessions after just 5 minutes, to go for a relaxing swim; and they even called Henry endearing names such as "le idiotte de merde", usually when Henry wasn't watching. But the ever-observant Henry had noticed, and liked that one. Sure, there had been the occasional defeat or 2 or 10, but that was normal for Henry who had grown up watching his idol Arsene Wenger and his "le Arsenele de Londoune". That's where he got some tactical ideas from, or so he claimed to the press, to which he also said the problem with Cannes was too high expectations. Just last week Henry told the local press what Cannes really needed was to "instill a losing mentality", to quiet down those expectations, just as he had learned from Arsene. Such as he had learned from Arsene that spending money on players was a bad idea, and that he should bet on kids instead.

There was vague criticism, that much was true. He had heard it all before. His hairdresser had told him the players had come complaining the tactics were too complicated. "Monsieur, they say they do not know what Very Fluid is, what's a Inverted Winger, a False Nine, a Complete Forward or a Segundo Volante". But Henry rejected these critics. He was always true to his philosophy yet not afraid to adapt - he had even already gone to the extreme of dropping the idea of playing out from the back. But the overall plan had to remain. Henry said, "Fraudane was a very intelligent player. How can we find the next Fraudane if we do not teach our players to play in very intelligent ways?". Indeed, to emulate Fraudane better, he had once robbed a razor from the hairdresser and walked into the training ground to make all players bald - he was only stopped by the last minute by the club captain, who pointed out that he had once seen a picture of young Fraudane with the Cannes shirt and he had hair in it.

But in reality Henry had not picked up his tactical ideas from Arsene, as much as he liked to say so proudly. No, the reality was darker... it had come to him in a dream. A weird dream, in fact, but he saw the tactics so clearly there, and they worked so well. The weird thing was that the players were dressed in white shirts and black shorts. First they spoke English, then they spoke Spanish. And Henry himself was Portuguese. Henry dreamed it worked so well they even won the Champions League.

Henry now thought of the future. He wanted to get revenge and prove Cannes wrong. Manage some other local team, maybe even some rivals. He wanted to burst out of the door and hand out CVs to every club's door. But first, he crawled into the fetal position and cried himself out to sleep on his sofa. And very soon, he was back to his dream as a gloriously accomplished Portuguese manager...
 

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It Cannes not be done. :( 

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2 minutes ago, Makoto Nakamura said:

The transfer window is shut, 5 players left us for other clubs and we've lost our only goalkeeper to a broken arm for the next 2 months....this is all I have left above the minimum age requirement.

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Sign every single player in next youth intake, worked wonders for me :brock:

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