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Deisler26

Saving Football: Frauding A Nation

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24 minutes ago, Minuy600 said:

@Benjoe Your misfortune might just be a reason for me to not quit FM, haha. Perhaps I should take it like you do and not take anything seriously except maybe when I have a crack at a prize.

Keep on keepin' on lad, sometimes things go against us all, it's how you deal with it and roll with the punches that makes the difference.

Hell, I got sacked by Man Utd once, you want to be an absolute world class fraud to screw up with *literally* the easiest team in all of FM to manage.

 

6 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

The craziest thing about a youth challenge? Being so incredibly awful, not giving up... And more likely than not continuing to be awful. 

That being said, don't give up because the likes of @smp20 and @BoxToBox are killing it -- they could manage a team of rotten potatoes to victory. In fact, I'm pretty sure Boxie did that on 17. And (as smp acknowledges) Bastia is one hell of a starting point.

In the end, the secret to a youth challenge is in team selection, luck and embracing the pain. (Although maybe not to the extent that @Benjoe has... He's likely inflicting long-term psychological harm on himself...)

That's my long-wonder way of saying don't go! If you get sacked, try again! It'll make it all the sweeter when things come together.

I'll be the first to admit I had lots of advantages with Bayonne, already semi-pro and they started 450k in the black, one of the better teams in their group, and a pretty balanced squad where we had one or two of everything we needed to start with, unlike say, @Makoto Nakamura who's starting squad balance was an actual bombscare, or @noikeee's amateur club where he can't keep a hold of his team. After that you only need a reasonable tactic, a bit of form, morale, and luck in the right moments and away you go.

I know one thing, I should have mentioned far sooner, but forgot due to fraudulence, something I find helps a tonne in semi-pro/amateur level is massive pre-seasons. Lots of friendlies! Everyone else(the AI I mean) will have 3-4, I'll crank in 8-12 if I can, you'll start the season much fitter and sharper than your competition. Start strong and you should do well.

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Good job we had a man on the post there.

Some days, even your outfielders are Karius...

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Our youngsters clearing up the awards :D

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59 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

I know one thing, I should have mentioned far sooner, but forgot due to fraudulence, something I find helps a tonne in semi-pro/amateur level is massive pre-seasons. Lots of friendlies! Everyone else(the AI I mean) will have 3-4, I'll crank in 8-12 if I can, you'll start the season much fitter and sharper than your competition. Start strong and you should do well.

That is, fraudulently, a golden rule of lower league management.  If there are big breaks in your schedule you can build/maintain fitness and destroy AI in first few games. Then you just ride on that morale.

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Like the old phrase, "Hard work beats talent, if talent doesn't work hard."

 

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1 hour ago, Benjoe said:

1 game left to get 2 points

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Enter at your own peril.

  Hide contents

 

  Hide contents

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We did it! Massive game! I moved Zunino to the AMR in an Advanced playmaker role and he excelled for the first time in a long time. Brilliant stuff.

 

Boom! Quite emphatically too which is uncharacteristic. :Bowen:

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34 minutes ago, Keano16 said:

Boom! Quite emphatically too which is uncharacteristic. :Bowen:

Yessss! Very uncharacteristic indeed.

Aaaaaaaaand we're back to our usual useless selves in the next game of course.

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This team....

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23 hours ago, Bartrcm said:

Great draw in the cup.

Not a bad result, but we don't earn a lot of money. Only 25k on tickets and 18k for TV. Finances are still red. 

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12 minutes ago, Bartrcm said:

Not a bad result, but we don't earn a lot of money. Only 25k on tickets and 18k for TV. Finances are still red. 

Good effort that!

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fc-vaulx-en-velin-1a4a671f50734f4eaa13dd

Things are going... okay. Predicted to finish 11th and 10th for now. I'm not worried about going down but not much to expect for the end of the season a priori.

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I didn't care about the cup at all but our path is not shameful, losing against Consolat from National.

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We had a chance of getting out of the relegation zone if we'd won this one. We were the better side throughout the 90 minutes but had some enormous blunders. In the end, waking up at the 70th minute and being behind 0-4 is too much to turn.

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No matter what we're either directly relegated or sent into relegation playoffs.

We have 1st placed Toulouse Res. and Rodéo FC. That'll be a fun rodeo to end the season with.......

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Posted (edited)

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August 2, 2019.

Dear Diary, 

My situation has gotten precarious.  While the 'A' side continued to win, it hasn't been without a bit of graft.  We've been living on the edge of collapse each match, but somehow pull together to grab the points more often than not.

Word of my managerial prowess quickly spread amongst the guards...such that they started having me scout for their sons, daughters, nieces, etc, and advise on the best strategies to employ.  All unpaid.  All hush-hush, given that my sentence included a ban from being around children for, well, obvious reasons. 

In late July, word reached me from a new inmate -- some rock-and-roll wannabe type we nicknamed Elvis.  Apparently, he knows a woman who used to be Amelie's mom's cellmate at the women's prison, and she claims to be willing to testify that Amelie's mom admitted to setting me up as the patsy, the fall-guy, for her prostitution scheme.

I brought the news to the Warden almost immediately.  That was the wrong move. 

He just shook his head at me.  "Well, let's say for the moment that this Blanche does exist.  Do you think this Amelie girl's mother would just fall to her knees and cry, 'Yes, I did it, I confess! Oh, and by the way, add a few years to my sentence?!'"

"You know that wouldn't matter," I told him.  "With her former cellmate's testimony, I could get a new trial."

He just shook his head.

"How can you be so obtuse?!" I asked.  He didn't like that one bit.

"What?  What did you call me?" 

I tried to explain the meaning of the word, but he was having none of it.

"Son, you're forgetting yourself," he warned.

I tried to explain my hopes and dreams of release, my future career, my freedom, could hang in the balance.  He just called it a fantasy, and got up to leave.  

And that's when I made it even worse.

"Sir, if I ever got out, I'd never mention what happens here.  I'd be just as indictable as you for scouting those kids."

"Don't you ever mention football to me again, you sorry son of a bitch!" he shouted.  "Not in this office, not anywhere!"

And that's how I ended up in solitary confinement for a week. I got out yesterday, to learn that the 'A' side has been administratively withdrawn from the prison league, forfeiting our final matches and falling down the table accordingly.

That Irish fella, Drake (aka Le Rouge), was right.  Hope is a dangerous thing.

Edited by ManUtd1
Typos, typos everywhere

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Just caught up with this fantastic thread, I will keep a frauding eye on your fraudulent success.

blindspot blinking GIF by NBC

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qoIrdSj.jpg

In the 88th minute.

The score is 1-2 to the visiting Rodeo FC. 

If this result holds, Cannet-Rocheville are relegated.

...

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Spoiler

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Billedresultat for sad gif

 

People are questioning the Ween. 

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And the board wants a meeting.

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EPIC CLIFFHANGER, HUH

Spoiler

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Still got a job eh.

Can't deny the Ween. 

...

Great. Next season we'll make Cannet-Rocheville great again!

 

 

Ps.

Let's ignore these.

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OOOOF.

Your lack of faith in the ween is disturbing

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9 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

qoIrdSj.jpg

In the 88th minute.

The score is 1-2 to the visiting Rodeo FC. 

If this result holds, Cannet-Rocheville are relegated.

...

ffa196e866b76fb8da5fd9250b4e2601.png

cd5564138eea8b8a010575fec889a9f9.png

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  Hide contents

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3784393decdf1587e62742ca1265ad23.png
 

4faa29a724b7d8bfd06713773d638de9.jpg

 

Billedresultat for sad gif

 

People are questioning the Ween. 

e51976ade1a5663c3927805f90f8fd94.png

And the board wants a meeting.

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EPIC CLIFFHANGER, HUH

  Hide contents

a2f62368f7301a7649137270514770e2.png

 

Still got a job eh.

Can't deny the Ween. 

...

Great. Next season we'll make Cannet-Rocheville great again!

 

 

Ps.

Let's ignore these.

e4f19bd8b8d525e22bbecccbc303adf8.png

 

 

 

Let's ignore what? I don't see any new records there ;)

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11 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

That was...brutal.  Even for your save, @Benjoe.

Just wait for the greatest hits....

6 minutes ago, Deisler26 said:

OOOOF.

Your lack of faith in the ween is disturbing

What?! I clearly had faith in the Ween to the bitter, diseased, impotent end. 

We just need a summer of rehab, and then it'll be back as good and strong as new. 

3 minutes ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

Let's ignore what? I don't see any new records there ;)

:brock::brock::brock:

1 minute ago, rodesire said:

@Benjoe sheesh, that was anticlimatic

ANTICLIMATIC?! If anything, that was insanely climatic. Best/worst sex I've ever had. 

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Look on the bright side, you'll be the first managers here to play in the 6th tier.

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3 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

Best/worst sex I've ever had. 

So, only?

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05b9f8a7e822ba3fe95bd99862c7f346.png

Pretty neat that we broke a record set against Monaco, also against Monaco.

Less neat that we lost the game.

 

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Posted (edited)
9 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

So, only?

giphy.gif

Edited by Deisler26

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4 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

So, only?

oh my god wow GIF

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11 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

So, only?

Nah.

 

Ye Mum said hi, btw.

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Just now, Benjoe said:

Nah.

 

Ye Mum said hi, btw.

*waits for @BoxToBox to reply*

drama popcorn GIF

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Just now, ManUtd1 said:

*waits for @BoxToBox to reply*

drama popcorn GIF

You're the brunette in the back, right?

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1 minute ago, Benjoe said:

Nah.

 

Ye Mum said hi, btw.

fnoh5sO.gif

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1 minute ago, Benjoe said:

You're the brunette in the back, right?

stupid weird face GIF

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3 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

Nah.

 

Ye Mum said hi, btw.

She said she had fun with a girl named Jess..... Small world.

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Posted (edited)
4 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

Nah.

 

Ye Mum said hi, btw.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Edited by Fer Fuchs Ake

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5 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

Ye Mum said hi, btw.

ron-swanson-computer-gif-4.gif

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Ouch, that's gutting @Benjoe but you're still in a job. I have full faith you can pull the ween into a new direction. *wait, wait...Not that direction!*

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Just now, BoxToBox said:

She said she had fun with a girl named Jess..... Small world.

She did many things, indeed. ;)

 

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Just now, Benjoe said:

She did many things, indeed. ;)

 

Were you the bloke then?

Said they got bored of waiting for the pill to kick in.

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Just now, BoxToBox said:

Were you the bloke then?

Said they got bored of waiting for the pill to kick in.

donald faison scrubs GIF by HULU

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FMCU post watershed :lol:

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2 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Were you the bloke then?

Said they got bored of waiting for the pill to kick in.

tenor.gif?itemid=5580082

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2 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Were you the bloke then?

Said they got bored of waiting for the pill to kick in.

That was your dad. 

I was wearing a wig. 

Was the logical step after getting relegated. You can call me Pamela from now on.

 

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Posted (edited)
4 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

That was your dad. 

I was wearing a wig. 

Was the logical step after getting relegated. You can call me Pamela from now on.

 

tenor.gif?itemid=5831365

Edited by Deisler26

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fc-vaulx-en-velin-1a4a671f50734f4eaa13dd

Young blood ! The most exciting time of the season is here.

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Gil, Ndzana and Brunet are already good enough to start for us but I'll have to wait a long time until they are 16. The big problem is no defensive midfielder. A good central defender would be good too.

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GETTING BACK TO FM....*ahem*

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October 9, 2019.

[Clarivaux Prison, Inmate Exercise Yard.  Day.]

[Jean Bleu sits quietly after walking over to join his friend, John “Le Rouge” Drake, on a bench.  Bleu looks weary.  Beaten down by life.  A man resigned to his fate.  A desperate man.]

Bleu: John. If you ever get out of here, do me a favor.

Drake: Sure, Jean. Anything.

Bleu: There's a big hayfield up near Perigneux. You know where Perigneux is?

Drake: Well, there's... there's a lot of hayfields up there.

Bleu: One in particular. It's got a long rock wall with a big oak tree at the north end. It's like something out of a Tupac song. It's where I asked Amelie’s mom to marry me. We went there for a picnic and made love under that oak and I asked and she said yes. Promise me, John. If you ever get out... find that spot. At the base of that wall, you'll find a rock that has no earthly business in an Auvergne hayfield. Piece of black, volcanic glass. There's something buried under it I want you to have.

Drake: What, Jean? What's buried under there?

Bleu [turning to walk away]: You'll have to pry it up... to see.

[As Bleu walks away, Drake looks very concerned about his friend’s mental health.]

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8 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

That was your dad. 

I was wearing a wig. 

Was the logical step after getting relegated. You can call me Pamela from now on.

 

That doesn't sound like him, usually he's not one for girls with weens....

Eh, when in Rome, I guess!

 

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Just now, BoxToBox said:

That doesn't sound like him, usually he's not one for girls with weens....

Eh, when in Rome, I guess!

 

I guess he couldn't handle the #weenseduction. 

-- Anyhow. Great intake @After and nice extension @Deisler26!

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3 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

That doesn't sound like him, usually he's not one for girls with weens....

Eh, when in Bangkok, I guess!

 

Fixed that for you

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1 minute ago, Deisler26 said:

Fixed that for you

*Bangween

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Smashing intake @After just saw it now, distracted, by, stuff.

8 minutes ago, Deisler26 said:

GETTING BACK TO FM....*ahem*

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Excellent, you've defrauded them into a new deal!

1 minute ago, Deisler26 said:

Fixed that for you

That's where you go when you already know you like girls with weens, surely?

 

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f8a4eeafc170dd013cf856e81be164c2.png

Players morale is low, because of our bad form/start to the season.

We're miles above expectations, with but two players considered "good enough" for Ligue 2, but no, burn the whole thing down because we had to play PSG and Monaco in a row and lost both....

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