Jump to content

Robber Barons of the Côte d'Azur -Chronicles from the Dark Underbelly of French Football


OMDave

Recommended Posts

Foreword

A week ago, if anyone had suggested I write a story based on the life of a CM manager, as viewed from within the game, I would have taken this to be a ‘smart alec’-type of remark, the kind of oh-so-subtle ****-take of another person’s habits or opinions that Fergie would be proud of –in short, it would have seemed a student w***er’s way of saying there were more constructive ways to spend one’s time than to sit for hours in front of a machine, apparently stupefied yet prone to sudden and shocking outbursts of psychotic fury, hurling torrents of abuse at an inanimate object that eighty percent of the planet’s population cannot afford…All right, forget the initial premise, that would have been the student w***er’s way of saying it…

But then, a little under a week ago, I joined the Community. The main reason it took me so long is probably the fact that outside of e-mail use, I’ve tended to nurse an unfair prejudice towards the Internet, in that I lived under the delusion that it was a territory best left to geeks and other techno-boffins, a superficial and deliberately esoteric arena, which had little or no chance of resisting the tsunami of mercantilism, conformity and overall mediocrity which eventually ground all other media to the ocean floor –at least, it can be hoped that it is really the floor, and not the edge of another, deeper marine precipice…A word of warning is in order here: there will be many digressions along the way…Anyway, since I’ve become a regular member I’ve found myself spending more and more of my ‘Community time’ reading CMS threads –I mean, who really gives a s*** who the best striker is?- or Clan Game threads. The quality of writing of the average post is very good, and some of the narrative sequences are brilliant –and I’m not just trying to make some new friends here, which I’m told all ‘noobs’ (took me a while to figure that one out…) are supposed to do. My current favourite –of those I’ve read, which is less than I would have liked, but real life has a way of butting in at the most inappropriate moments- is “The Sleeping & The Dead Are But In Picturesâ€, a great title, hilarious player descriptions and a fine flowing style throughout. Eldritch7, I’m sure I’m not the only one awaiting the next instalment of the Daggers’ odyssey so please don’t let it lie for too long icon_wink.gif…

And so, at a time when I was finding it all but impossible to muster up any enthusiasm for a ‘solo’ game, I am now readying myself to begin a new one. Not to conquer the world, nor even to grind Paris SG into the dirt at any given opportunity –not this time…But instead for the sole purpose of providing an ‘objective’ context to a story, that of a young(ish) manager called David Le Spliff, a Marseille fan at heart though obviously he is not even close to good enough to manage them. Though I was tempted to take Libourne (in real life my mother, who is Irish, lives just outside this small, provincial town of the South-West), I ended up deciding for Cannes because it was just too good an opportunity to pass over, in terms of the narrative possibilities provided by the location. Anyone who’s ever been there will agree, I think, that the place is beyond ‘weird’, and in a way which anyone retaining an ounce of the quality known as ‘soul’ will find vaguely obscene and disquieting. Except perhaps for the loonies who live there, or the inane muppets who dream of doing so…Ideally it would have been nice to be able to start below ‘National’, the French equivalent of the Second Division, but saying that the game is limited in this respect would be like saying there isn’t that much energy produced in a nuclear fission reaction –if your basic unit of measurement is the amount generated by a solar flare, then no, there isn’t really that much at all…At this point in the text, there will be a CM fan who passed his/her A-level Physics –surely there must be a few- who will suddenly feel it is his/her (well, it is admittedly less likely that a woman should react in this way) mission in life to put up a message in this thread, pointing out the factual inaccuracy of the previous example and exposing me to the Community for being the fraud I never claimed not to be. Desist now! Fight back the prideful urge, and if all else fails simply create your own story, thereby giving yourself plenty of opportunities to show other people how ‘sorted’ and fascinating and hard (errr…sorry, wrong forum..) you really are. Should you find yourself unable to overcome your excessive regard for ‘truth’ (That Rather Unlikely Theoretical Humbug –hands up those who would have spotted it without the capitals…), be prepared for a retaliatory wave of the swiftest and most violent nature. I’m not kidding; I’ve worked for the UN and I know how these things work. First I’ll set Paddy Ashdown loose upon you, and while he distracts you with his special SAS-trained ‘lateral hypnotism’ techniques, I’ll get Kofi Annan to denounce you to the world in the strongest possible terms. In the unlikely event that you still cannot be deterred from your fiendish and malevolent course, I shall apply the ultimate death blow and send in USAid to coordinate the rebuilding of your infrastructure in accordance with sound principles of liberal economic practice –i.e. to subcontract the job to the highest bidders, and/or to the parties from whom the greatest financial or political ‘reciprocities’ might then be elicited without fear of denunciation…If that still doesn’t scare you, please leave me alone –I don’t have much but I’ll pay anything you want, just don’t hurt me!!!

There is even the chance the story might serve as a palliative for my insomnia, though I think it rather more likely it will become an excuse to indulge it instead. Despite what was threatened above, all feedback is of course very welcome and it’ll be nice to have an excuse to exchange banter with people, as the only other members of the Community I ‘know’ are the lively bunch of pirates with whom I’ve been playing online for a few months now. Hi there lads –no doubt you’ll be the brunt of my audience, but the way I see it there’s more reward in getting one person to grin than there is in getting millions to chew…

Hope you enjoy the trip –I know I will!

PS: Don’t listen to anything my brother Alex says about me…It’s all lies! I swear it! I’ve been off the neuroleptics for years now… icon_biggrin.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Replies 156
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Foreword

A week ago, if anyone had suggested I write a story based on the life of a CM manager, as viewed from within the game, I would have taken this to be a ‘smart alec’-type of remark, the kind of oh-so-subtle ****-take of another person’s habits or opinions that Fergie would be proud of –in short, it would have seemed a student w***er’s way of saying there were more constructive ways to spend one’s time than to sit for hours in front of a machine, apparently stupefied yet prone to sudden and shocking outbursts of psychotic fury, hurling torrents of abuse at an inanimate object that eighty percent of the planet’s population cannot afford…All right, forget the initial premise, that would have been the student w***er’s way of saying it…

But then, a little under a week ago, I joined the Community. The main reason it took me so long is probably the fact that outside of e-mail use, I’ve tended to nurse an unfair prejudice towards the Internet, in that I lived under the delusion that it was a territory best left to geeks and other techno-boffins, a superficial and deliberately esoteric arena, which had little or no chance of resisting the tsunami of mercantilism, conformity and overall mediocrity which eventually ground all other media to the ocean floor –at least, it can be hoped that it is really the floor, and not the edge of another, deeper marine precipice…A word of warning is in order here: there will be many digressions along the way…Anyway, since I’ve become a regular member I’ve found myself spending more and more of my ‘Community time’ reading CMS threads –I mean, who really gives a s*** who the best striker is?- or Clan Game threads. The quality of writing of the average post is very good, and some of the narrative sequences are brilliant –and I’m not just trying to make some new friends here, which I’m told all ‘noobs’ (took me a while to figure that one out…) are supposed to do. My current favourite –of those I’ve read, which is less than I would have liked, but real life has a way of butting in at the most inappropriate moments- is “The Sleeping & The Dead Are But In Picturesâ€, a great title, hilarious player descriptions and a fine flowing style throughout. Eldritch7, I’m sure I’m not the only one awaiting the next instalment of the Daggers’ odyssey so please don’t let it lie for too long icon_wink.gif…

And so, at a time when I was finding it all but impossible to muster up any enthusiasm for a ‘solo’ game, I am now readying myself to begin a new one. Not to conquer the world, nor even to grind Paris SG into the dirt at any given opportunity –not this time…But instead for the sole purpose of providing an ‘objective’ context to a story, that of a young(ish) manager called David Le Spliff, a Marseille fan at heart though obviously he is not even close to good enough to manage them. Though I was tempted to take Libourne (in real life my mother, who is Irish, lives just outside this small, provincial town of the South-West), I ended up deciding for Cannes because it was just too good an opportunity to pass over, in terms of the narrative possibilities provided by the location. Anyone who’s ever been there will agree, I think, that the place is beyond ‘weird’, and in a way which anyone retaining an ounce of the quality known as ‘soul’ will find vaguely obscene and disquieting. Except perhaps for the loonies who live there, or the inane muppets who dream of doing so…Ideally it would have been nice to be able to start below ‘National’, the French equivalent of the Second Division, but saying that the game is limited in this respect would be like saying there isn’t that much energy produced in a nuclear fission reaction –if your basic unit of measurement is the amount generated by a solar flare, then no, there isn’t really that much at all…At this point in the text, there will be a CM fan who passed his/her A-level Physics –surely there must be a few- who will suddenly feel it is his/her (well, it is admittedly less likely that a woman should react in this way) mission in life to put up a message in this thread, pointing out the factual inaccuracy of the previous example and exposing me to the Community for being the fraud I never claimed not to be. Desist now! Fight back the prideful urge, and if all else fails simply create your own story, thereby giving yourself plenty of opportunities to show other people how ‘sorted’ and fascinating and hard (errr…sorry, wrong forum..) you really are. Should you find yourself unable to overcome your excessive regard for ‘truth’ (That Rather Unlikely Theoretical Humbug –hands up those who would have spotted it without the capitals…), be prepared for a retaliatory wave of the swiftest and most violent nature. I’m not kidding; I’ve worked for the UN and I know how these things work. First I’ll set Paddy Ashdown loose upon you, and while he distracts you with his special SAS-trained ‘lateral hypnotism’ techniques, I’ll get Kofi Annan to denounce you to the world in the strongest possible terms. In the unlikely event that you still cannot be deterred from your fiendish and malevolent course, I shall apply the ultimate death blow and send in USAid to coordinate the rebuilding of your infrastructure in accordance with sound principles of liberal economic practice –i.e. to subcontract the job to the highest bidders, and/or to the parties from whom the greatest financial or political ‘reciprocities’ might then be elicited without fear of denunciation…If that still doesn’t scare you, please leave me alone –I don’t have much but I’ll pay anything you want, just don’t hurt me!!!

There is even the chance the story might serve as a palliative for my insomnia, though I think it rather more likely it will become an excuse to indulge it instead. Despite what was threatened above, all feedback is of course very welcome and it’ll be nice to have an excuse to exchange banter with people, as the only other members of the Community I ‘know’ are the lively bunch of pirates with whom I’ve been playing online for a few months now. Hi there lads –no doubt you’ll be the brunt of my audience, but the way I see it there’s more reward in getting one person to grin than there is in getting millions to chew…

Hope you enjoy the trip –I know I will!

PS: Don’t listen to anything my brother Alex says about me…It’s all lies! I swear it! I’ve been off the neuroleptics for years now… icon_biggrin.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

PROLOGUE

Diary entry (Source: David Le Spliff's personal diary) - Dated 11th June 2003.

A weird thing happened today. I’d just walked in the door -looking forward to a nice cup of tea, a big fat joint and a good long read- when the phone rang. The shock this caused was much greater than the average person might expect, for I only had the dastardly thing in order to be able to pretend to the occasional visitor (people like the plumber, or that c*** of a landlord) that I, too, am a purposeful and well-adjusted citizen of the Republic, with the skills to contribute to the overall health of the nation, when in fact I am incapable of making the slightest difference in this ‘democratic’ society’s frantic efforts to treat the spreading and multiplying tumours which it has itself caused, even as it broadcasts the delusional and self-justifying cultural myths of its own legitimacy, and of its assured eventual triumph over the forces of evil –whatever the ‘accepted’ description of this evil happens to be, and regardless of any factual evidence pointing to the contrary…

So that was why I jumped when the phone rang, dropped the groceries and tripped on a crack in the floorboards on my first forward step, narrowly avoiding the removal of my left eye by a rusty nail sticking out from the cheap wood of the wall panel. I picked up the satanic contraption, placed it to my ear and turned to witness the spillage seeping out of one of the plastic bags, which I immediately identified as the contents of the bottled Guinness, which I’d had to spend weeks pestering a dozen different shopkeepers to obtain by special order…

It was therefore not in a receptive frame of mind that I spoke into the mouthpiece. In fact, I didn’t speak at all –I hissed. This was greeted by a startled exclamation at the other end of the line, and I recognized Uncle Albert’s characteristic and somewhat dated use of expletives. In the family he is known as ‘Bébert’, except this is misleading in the sense that no-one in the family ever mentions him, or very rarely, and never at all when talking to people outside the circle of relatives. The reasons for this are quite vague, though it was Bébert himself who cut himself off from the rest of the family, after a terrible row during a Christmas dinner some twenty-odd years ago. I wasn’t even going to school yet, so I never really got a chance to know him, but every few months or so I’d find a postcard from him in my school locker, usually accompanied by a small present or a couple of ten-franc coins. I never told my parents about this, as I feared they might take away the presents, and those beautiful little model cars were definitely not something that adults were capable of appreciating (except maybe uncle Albert –and in my mind the fact my parents refused to speak of him, and acted as though he no longer existed, seemed obviously and inextricably linked with this). When I became a so-called adult and left home to study elsewhere, it was not long before Bébert contacted me and we began to meet, every two or three months he’d call me to say he was in town and we’d go for a few pints, a feast-like meal, and then more pints. Tall, heavyset and gruff, his appearance seemed a caricature of the ageing strong-arm, an impression reinforced by the first of the many rules he laid down:

“Rule number one:†he’d decreed in his low, gravelly voice, raising a forefinger as thick as a frankfurter. “You never ask me what I do for a living.†And I never have, though I must admit at times I can barely repress the urge to find out. The main reason for this, I suppose, is that although I am entirely certain (well, almost) that he will never inflict any physical violence upon me, part of me is still scared to death of what I might learn about him. Now that I am back living in France, we see each other more regularly and I’ve sensed a slight shift in the barrier –he is quite voluble about the many travels he embarked upon as a young man, and his supply of humorous, tragic or plain weird anecdotes (whether authentic or fictional) is seemingly endless…And so back to Oncle Bébert calling me names on the phone:

- “Sorry, Oncle Bébert†I said, “I very nearly lost an eye trying to get to the phone. It never rings normally.â€

- “Yes, so you said when you gave me the number. It’s your life son, though that could change.†My knees wobbled, and an instant sheen of cold sweat ran the length of my spine.

- “Ummm…what…what was that, Bébert?…â€

- “Get a grip, lad. What I mean is I have a job for you.†Oh dear. This was even worse.

- “A….a job?…â€

- “You remember those –don’t pretend otherwise. In most cases, a pointless activity through which cash and other benefits are given, in return for the kind of fealty and dependence that most serfs in twelfth-century Bohemia would have found objectionable.â€

- “Good one.â€

- “Not really –it’s a question of relative standards.†Touché. I was beginning to think he was enjoying this preamble, which was very unlike his usual directness.

- “So what’s this job then?†I asked, as it had been over a minute already, and I am not keen on lengthy phone conversations unless a woman is on the other end of the line –well, not any woman, obviously: if you consider the number of women who would rather face a lifelong abstention of all chocolate products than go through a few minutes of one-on-one conversation with me, there aren’t really that many left who are under sixty years old or under sixteen stone….

- “That’s more like it, sonny! Remember how you told me you’d passed this coaching exam, last time we went for a drink?†Now I was well and truly stumped, and more than a little interested.

- “Sure I do. You told me it would be as useful to me in today’s world as a Fil-o-Fax would have been to Genghis Khan as he ravaged his way across the Asian steppes.â€

- “I see. Don’t pay any attention to what your old Oncle Bébert says when under the influence.â€

- “We’d only just got to the pub.â€

- “If you say one more word I will come round and break both your legs, and this threat also applies any word you might proffer to indicate your agreement, so just keep that trap shut. Now that I have your full and undivided attention, let me announce that you are going to be the new manager of A.S. Cannes –it isn’t official yet, but the club expects you to show up on the fourteenth. In the morning. That means before twelve, so you may want to prepare yourself for that, starting right now. I’ll be in touch after you get there. Do not try to contact me.†And then he hung up, which is just as well because I had an urgent and overwhelming desire to ask a thousand questions, and to utter as many protestations pointing out the absurdity of the very notion that I should manage any club above the level of the five-a-side corporate leagues. And whatever way I was going to try and shed some light on this thing, I was definitely going to need my legs. Both of them…

In the end I forgot all about the nice cup of tea and the good long read. I went straight for the big fat joint instead...

Link to post
Share on other sites

Why thank you Doc... Couldn't think of a suitable or witty prize for the first comment, at least not in time - you were just too damn quick for me, I'd barely posted it icon_biggrin.gif

Perhaps someone can help me out, as this may preserve raptor's e-mail account from my contribution to further clogging, and I couldn't find a suitable thread (at least, one that wasn't closed icon_frown.gif):

I'd like to know what the CMS policy is on foul language within the stories themselves (I've used the ***s but to be honest I find that a bit naff, not to mention hypocritical)

Obviously I would never dream of using foul language when directly addressing another member of the Community icon_biggrin.gificon_rolleyes.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello OMDave. Foul language eh! Well any naughty words are automatically detected and replaced by *'s by some clever filtering software. This can be worked around by using accented characters or by subtle changes in the spelling. But please bear in mind that many members of CMS are mere babes in arms and may be shocked by such language (or may just giggle in a schoolboy sort of way).

Good start BTW.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks BobBev, ***s it is, then.

From now on I'll write all my non-story posts in italics, which might help provide greater visual coherence, and allows people to skip flippant and/or ill-advised responses to feedback. Obviously I don't expect anyone posting a comment to do the same thing (i.e. write in italics -if you did not find this parenthesis superfluous, then you need more caffeine...) However, this would be viewed as a welcome gesture of consideration and attentiveness, and earn bagfuls of points in 'OMDave's Constant and Unconscious Assessment of the Relative Qualitative Merits of External Phenomena and/or Entities'...

icon_wink.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to CMS, Dave. Hope you don't mind if I call you Dave for short. icon_wink.gif

French stories are always fun. I wrote one last year from Romorantin, and Faramir had a fun one with Trelissac for a long time. I started one recently with Cannes, but got sacked in my second season, and packed it in.

Good luck! Good start.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Cheers spurzgrrl, and yes it's quite ok to call me 'Dave for short' -weirdly enough, only women ever call me that... icon_rolleyes.gif

Hopefully I can escape the sack, and being immersed in French football will hopefully be an advantage here, both for the narrative and for the results... icon_smile.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

Security Camera Footage (Source: Hotel Formule 1 ‘Le Bertalou’, rear parking area tape B407-03)

Dated as starting at 01:42:17 A.M., 14th June 2003.

Length: 01m51s – Note: there is no sound accompanying the images.

The view is of a concrete parking block. It is filtered through so-called ‘night vision’ filters, and the outlines are vague, wreathed in the odd greenish tinges which are often associated with today's images of armed conflicts. The only source of light is a lamp-post in the lower left corner of the frame. In the background, facing the camera, is the wall of the main hotel structure, and at its base are a row of parking spaces which have all been filled. The inside light is on in one of the cars, and it winks out a few seconds after the person behind the wheel has opened the door, exited the vehicle, closed the door and locked it manually. The figure is apparently a man in his twenties, of medium height and slight build, with close-cropped lightish hair and a sharp nose, but the outlines are too vague to allow the features to be made out in any greater detail.

The man goes to the back of the car, which appears to be a late 80s Fiat Uno model, opens the boot and spends ten to fifteen seconds bent over it, moving though it is impossible to tell exactly what he is doing. During this interval, which starts at 01:42:40 A.M., a car drives down the right side of the frame and parks in a free space in the bottom right-hand corner of the frame. At 01:42:52 A.M., two tall and heavyset individuals get out of this car, a recent dark-coloured BMW of the ‘7-series’, and shut the doors. They seem to be wearing dark leather trench-coats and woollen skullcaps, and could be twins for all the camera image reveals of their appearance. They exchange a glance and head in the direction of the hotel at the same moment the other man closes and locks the boot of his car. The latter is now carrying a small rucksack, and has almost reached the angle of the hotel wall when his head turns towards the two approaching men, who are still about ten paces away from him and whose backs are now to the camera, at a three-quarter angle. He stops and reaches into his trouser pocket, and the two men close the gap between him and them, walking no faster than they had been before. From his trouser pocket the man extracts a lighter, which he offers to one of them, who has meanwhile placed a cigarette in his own mouth. At that moment the time is 01:43:12.

The man with the cigarette in his mouth lights it, exhaling smoke as he hands the lighter back. He then gestures as if to hand the cigarette to the man who just lent him the lighter, and for a second or two the three of them are suddenly still and tense, as though coiled to spring. Which is exactly what the two larger men do, grabbing the man with the rucksack before swiftly and easily dragging him in the direction of their car. They do not stop when they reach the level of the car they arrived him, and disappear beyond the edge of the image’s frame at 01:43:34. They reappear in the same place at 01:43:56, without the man they were dragging, and do not seem to be carrying his rucksack. They both get in the car without exchanging a word and leave immediately. The BMW disappears out of the top of the frame at 01:44:08.

Link to post
Share on other sites

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Martin Buchan:

A very interesting turn of events Dave.

You should be a writer for 24 as this is very dramatic and now...

Hopefully you will be as crap as you are with Blackburn icon_wink.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thanks a lot Martin that's very kind. What's '24'? The Blackburn bit it would be beneath me to answer, given that I am about eight places higher than your Liverpool in our EuroPrem, with lesser means in the game and crap equipment to play with... icon_biggrin.gificon_razz.gif

And now for something a little more constructive (who, me? Conceited? icon_biggrin.gif...)

Link to post
Share on other sites

right Martin, I get the '24' I think -you mean full-time?...If only that were true...A superb compliment in any case, and you are now my friend for life icon_biggrin.gif Alex can tell you all about this dubious privilege...He hates the Divine Being for lumping him in the same nest as me... icon_wink.gif

Diary entry (Source: David Le Spliff’s personal diary), dated 14th June 2003.

It’s a little painful to write, despite the painkillers both prescribed and self-administered, but it’s been a very long day, and I need this to get my head around all the stuff that happened…

It couldn’t really have started any worse. I stopped at this cheap hotel just off the autoroute, one of those concrete-box things people use when they’re too tired to drive on or too skint to afford anything else. I’d just got my bag out of the car when these two guys built like NFL linebackers came up to me for a light. And before I knew what had happened they were dragging me into some bushes, on the edge of the parking lot that was furthest from the hotel. After that I don’t remember much –at the hospital they told me I had received only five or six powerful blows, and that probably it was a kick to the side of my head which had caused me to lose consciousness. But I’m jumping ahead already, and I think it’s important I should try and recall events in the order they happened, if only to convince myself of their reality…

I’m almost certain the two goons were Slavs –Russians perhaps, but I wouldn’t really be able to tell. They asked me for a light in English, with a heavy Slavic accent, and then as they dragged me away they exchanged a few short bursts of hushed conversation, which sounded a little like Serbian but weren’t –I’ve lived in Kosovo for close to two years, and that I can tell…What’s weird about this –well weirder- is that they never said what they wanted, and that nothing was missing from my rucksack, which was still lying next to me when I came to. That’s also what frightens me most about the episode, because since then I can’t seem to get rid of the idea that some very dangerous people have just given me a clear warning –however paranoid this might seem, given that I don’t own or do anything which might interest a group of criminals.

Anyway, it was the night receptionist at the hotel who found me. Around three a.m. he went out for a smoke, and as he was about to go back in he heard a rustling noise from the bushes at the far end of the lot. He went in to get a baseball bat he always kept behind the desk –prudent man! How I wish I’d showed as much sense when the two guys came up to me, I might even have been able to leg it, though perhaps I’m just kidding myself here…When he saw me lying there the first thing he did was check my pulse, and luckily for me he knew what he was doing. He saw it wasn’t too serious, called a friend of his to stand in for him an hour or so, and drove me to the nearest hospital. He signed me in and left, and after a couple of hours’ wait I was led to a cubicle, where a doctor and a nurse soon joined me and began to examine the damage. The verdict was two broken ribs, mild cranial trauma and several contusion wounds that had swollen and turned a brownish, ugly shade of purple already. I asked for something to dull the considerable pain I was feeling, but all the ******* said was: “We’ll come to that in a moment.â€â€¦However, the nurse flashed me a quick smile that did the job better than a barrel-load of Xanax, and I decided from now on to ignore the petty physician entirely, and concentrate exclusively on the long dark hair and hazel eyes of this enchanting Circea. In a strange and somewhat pathetic sort of way, I was almost glad those two rottweilers had given me a chance to be seen as a man for once, briefly and conveniently forgetting all about the reality of the situation. Which was that they had lifted me the way an angry parent forces a child, and a single hand over my mouth was enough to stifle my attempted shouts. Further, I had gone down with the first blow, and lain there prone until another blow put all the lights out…So much for being a brave man. But then there’s no accounting for the way a man can feel when a beautiful woman smiles in his general direction…

Eventually the arrogant Esculapes deigned to inquire as to whether I’d like something to feel better, raising a cynical eyebrow when I asked whether they had any codeine. Not that I gave a to** about his conceited posturing, at this stage –the nurse had left to attend to some other winner in the Hospital Attendant Random Deputation lottery, and it was high time for a more pragmatic approach to the war on pain…Besides, this yuppie git was in such a hurry to get rid of me that before I could say “Jah!†I was out of the main entrance, with my rucksack and a little brown bag containing enough medicine to induce a ten-year hibernation period in the average grizzly bear.

This was when I became aware that daylight was beginning to break, and it all came back to me in a rush –what I was doing here, what I was supposed to be doing in a few hours, and how long it was since I’d had any proper sleep. At first I wasn’t sure what town I was in –the hotel had been close to the motorway exit leading into Cannes, but perhaps this was one of the small satellite towns around it. Further up the street I found a café that was opening, and a middle-aged woman bringing out stacks of chairs to the terrace area told me that I was indeed in Cannes, and that I looked as though I could do with some strong coffee. Which indeed I did…

Link to post
Share on other sites

He means '24' the television show that airs on the Fox Network in America. "Known" for it's "cliffhanger" endings almost every episode (though the third/current season is crap, IMO).

Good start to the story, can't wait for some actual, er, football stuff. icon_smile.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Carrplos:

He means '24' the television show that airs on the Fox Network in America. "Known" for it's "cliffhanger" endings almost every episode (though the third/current season is crap, IMO).

Good start to the story, can't wait for some actual, er, football stuff. icon_smile.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Right. Seen very little of it as I have an irrational prejudice against most American TV/Film fiction...

I'll get to the football stuff when I can be arsed to play CM on my own again icon_biggrin.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

Diary entry (Source: David Le Spliff’s personal diary) – continued from previous entry.

Eventually the caffeine, orange juice and croissants revived me somewhat, and it was just as well I hadn’t yet touched the little brown bag, now snug within the confines of the rucksack. I wanted to –badly. But there were a few things to do first, and I wasn’t keen on finding out what Oncle Bébert’s reaction would be if I turned up at the club stoned to the gills…The prospect of a longer stay in hospital was a sobering one indeed, so instead I spent some time wondering what time I would be likely to get hold of someone at the club if I phoned.

By eight o’clock I was getting too tired to wait any longer, and the third coffee wasn’t much help at all, bringing on instead a wave of mild nausea. I asked the woman behind the counter whether she had a phonebook, found the club’s number and rang them. To my surprise, the phone was picked up at the other end on the second, and a cheerful female voice made itself heard:

- “A.S. Cannes here, good morning; how can I help you?â€

- “Uhh….Hello….my name is David Le Spliff and…â€

- “Oh, you're the team’s new manager! How nice to speak to you sir, Mr Salerno will be so glad you called! Let me put you on to him right away –and my name is Bernadette, by the way, pleased to meet you sir.â€

- “My pleasure...and please don’t call me sir, my name’s David…â€

- “Right then! Bye for now, David.â€

- “Bye…â€

(…)

- “Hello, David! Bright and early like the rest of us achievers, eh? Good on you son! Where are you? Bébert told me you were coming this morning..â€

- “Ermm…Good morning, Mr Salerno…â€

- “Michel, please! Your uncle and I are practically family, after all!â€

- “Right. Michel…Well, perhaps I should get to the point straight away –I was attacked last night on a parking lot, and came out of the hospital only a couple of hours ago…"

- “You poor boy! Attacked! How awful! And you probably haven’t slept at all, have you –were you badly hurt?â€

- “No, no…It looks ugly right now but it’s mostly superficial…But you’re right, I haven’t had any sleep…â€

- “Listen, my boy, here’s what you’re going to do: go to the Hotel Saint-Martin, on the Croisette –take a taxi, we’ll take care of everything at this end, there’ll be a room booked in your name by the time you get there. Obviously you can’t meet the press and the players in this kind of state –trust me, I’ll work something out. I always do...Later on I’ll send Christian over to see you, he’ll bring you the files on the player and all that. But in the meantime just pamper yourself, son, and don’t worry about your uncle, I’ll take care of him too!â€

His gruff, booming laugh was contagious, and as we said our goodbyes I realized that an immense weight had been lifted from me –I was already lost in visions of a hot bath, and of the cool crispness of clean sheets…I thanked the woman and paid for my extended breakfast, called a taxi and then sat down to wait for it…I felt faint, and every time I rose my blood pressure plummeted like the final approach of a kamikaze, but otherwise most of my immediate problems seemed to have been solved –well, for the next few hours anyway. It still took a considerable effort to turn my thoughts away from the Slav goons, though…

Link to post
Share on other sites

They're not, Martin, this is fiction remember ;-)

No jumping to hasty conclusions about Big Mike (see below) either...

We'll see about Kitson, but I'll be mostly looking to bring in young French prospects...never know though...

Diary entry (Source: David Le Spliff’s personal diary) – continued from previous entry.

This evening I met Christian Lopez, one of the club’s two Directors of Football. As a kid I’d seen him play for France, a workmanlike midfielder who was part of the unlucky World Cup ’82 squad, but when he approached me at the hotel bar I hardly recognized him. His short hair and trademark moustache were grey, and he looked about thirty pounds heavier, though clearly still physically fit.

I could sense his disapproval, but felt there would be no sense in trying to explain myself just now. I’d spent the whole day drifting in and out of sleep, the codeine giving me those vivid, narrative dreams I so enjoyed under normal circumstances. But right now I was just mildly stupefied, and extremely weary. He gave me the players’ files, told me I’d be expected to show up for the morning’s training session at nine, but that it might be a good idea to show up a little early to have a word with the players. We then talked about the club, and he seemed almost relieved that I knew some of the club’s history at least. I wonder what kind of person he had been expecting. He did not even bat an eyelid when I told him I knew I didn’t have the skills required for the job; he just nodded slowly and gave a slight shrug, as though to say: “well, yes, we all know that, but right now there’s nothing we can do, so we may as well just get on with itâ€. It was also clear he didn’t feel comfortable discussing the issue, so I didn’t press. Instead I asked him about the club’s ambitions, and the fans’ expectations.

“The board wants us to go up –Big Mike’s been very clear about that†he paused, noticing my expression. “Big Mike is what everyone calls Michel Salerno around here. You’ll get used to it –in fact, he’ll probably insist on it himself…†He smiled wryly at this. “As for the fans, well, if I were you I’d keep a low profile for the first few weeks, and if the team performs then you’ll be fine…Otherwise….Well, you wouldn’t be the first manager chased out of town…†He shook his head in mock compassion. “I really wish you the best, lad, and I’m pretty sure you didn’t ask for any of this, but I don’t understand what’s going on and I’m not sure I want to, even in the unlikely event it might help improve the situation. There are some very dangerous people around here…†-for a brief instant his gaze fell upon the ugly bruise on my forehead- “…and they tend to be the very rich and very powerful kind of dangerous –that’s a bad combination, as I’m sure you realize…†He held out his hand and smiled again, with a little more warmth. “Study those files, David, and then get a good night’s sleep -you’ll need it. I’ll see you at La Bocca tomorrow morning.â€

We shook hands and I watched him go, realizing how important it would be to seek out his advice on all aspects of the job. Besides, he was right: the best thing was to lie low, to get the know the players and the other staff, to make it clear to everyone that I didn’t think of myself as ‘The Boss’, and that everyone at the club needed to be heading in the same direction: up.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Diary entry (Source: David Le Spliff’s personal diary) – continued from previous entry

The first page in the file Christian Lopez had given me contained general information about the club, with some scribbled comments added in a clumsy, childish hand which I was almost certain was the chairman’s. Somehow it seemed to fit his gleeful, flippant tone.

Cannes play at the Stade Pierre-de-Coubertin, which everyone calls ‘La Bocca’ –‘the mouth’- because it lies near the place where the local river throws itself into the Mediterranean. It can hold 12 869 spectators, 9 819 of whom can be seated, and the training facilities are about adequate for the level the club is at. The realities of finance have hit this club hard, and the youth system which was once an example throughout Europe, producing players such as Zinedine Zidane and Patrick Viera, is now largely decrepit as the club has sunk a long way from the Première Division.

Chairman: Michel (‘Big Mike’) Salerno.

Directors of Football: Christian Lopez and Etienne Goiran.

Managing Director: Jérôme Gastaldi.

Assistant Managers: Charly Loubet and Pascal Favre.

Coaches: Francis Tisiot and Nenad Stojkovic.

Physios: Christophe Lopez, Mathieu Sorin and Benoît Grimaud.

Scouts: Jean Varraud, Thierry Plet and Frédéric Stoll.

There are thirty-four players at the club currently, many of whom are semi-professionals between the ages of eighteen and twenty, reared at the club and brought through the age categories. The budget ceiling has been set at nine thousand pounds a week, though right now it stands at six thousand one hundred pounds a week. The board has made 325 000 £ available for transfers, though the club sits on a comfortable 2 500 000 £ at the bank.

There’s a note clipped onto the page, which reads as follows:

“A word of advice from your friend Michel –you’ve not that much money to buy with, but you probably won’t need it that much. There’s busloads of players out of a job in these troubled times, and if you know the right agents a little cash can go a long way, believe you me. As it happens, your uncle knows quite a few –why don’t you give him a ring and have a little chat? Just an idea…

See you tomorrow,

Michel.â€

Strange. Why couldn’t he call my uncle himself, if they’re like family?…I set the thought aside, not wanting to go off on a tangent as there were many more pages to read before I could allow myself some sleep...

Link to post
Share on other sites

AS Cannes squad list (Source: club’s personnel files)

Goalkeepers.

Christophe Mey, 21, French, GK.

Jean-Daniel Padovani, 23, French, GK.

Cyril Carrat, 18, French, GK.

Padovani is an obvious first choice amongst the three. Formed at Martigues and bought from Nice, he shows decent ability in all the main goalkeeping skills, and has much more first-team experience than the other two. Mey is reasonable cover but should soon be supplanted by Carrat, one of the several young players formed at the club.

Defenders.

Grégory Béranger, 21, French, D L.

Wilfried Bertrand, 28, French, D L.

Michaël Cérielo, 18, French, D L/C.

Michel Rodriguez, 24, French, D L/C.

Pierre Goureau, 19, French, D/DM L/C.

Patricio Videira, 26, Portuguese, D/DM L/C.

Nicolas Frey, 19, French, SW/D C.

Christophe Durand, 18, French, D C.

Damien Berger, 18, French, D R/C.

Julien Faubert, 19, French, D R/C.

Laurent De Palmas, 25, D/DM R/C.

Rodriguez was once a rated prospect at Montpellier, but never fulfilled his promise. He and De Palmas should constitute the central pairing in a four-man defence, with Cérielo or Videira at left-back and Faubert on the right. The defensive sector is one in which we should be looking to recruit, as Bertrand is mediocre and the rest of them need to prove themselves with the reserve team before we can really treat them as real players. Frey’s only redeeming feature is that he is goalkeeper Sébastien’s younger brother, and aside from Goureau none of them look likely or able to play in a serious competitive game.

Midfielders.

Manu Nogueira, 34, French, DM C.

Fabien Valéri, 29, French, DM C.

Wilson Sanches-Leal, 18, Portuguese, DM C.

Antoine Maisetti, 19, French, DM R.

Cyril Guyot, 23, French, M L.

Mickaël Marsiglia, 27, French, M C.

Youssef Makhri, 19, French, AM L.

Michel Gafour, 21, French, AM L/C.

Siramana Dembélé, 26, French, AM R/C.

David Bettoni, 31, French, AM R/L.

Romain Testas, 18, French, AM C.

Salah Benhalima, 18, French, AM/F C.

Claude Panariello, 20, French, AM/F C.

Janick Tamazout, 30, French, AM/F R/L.

Kamel Ghillas, 19, French, AM/F R.

More experience in midfield than in defence, with Valéri the most competent in a holding role. On the left young Marseille reject Gafour may start, with another former Marseille player in the playmaking position; Mickaël Marsiglia. Dembélé’s pace and decent technique make him a starter on the right. Nogueira, Guyot, Bettoni and Tamazout don’t look like they’ll be getting much playing time, and may bring in a few funds to invest in younger, better players. The rest are no use to the first team right now, though Sanches-Leal may provide some much-needed backup here if no solutions are found through recruitment.

Forwards.

Bruce Inkango, 19, French, F C.

Youssef Moughfire, 26, French, F C.

Amadou M’Bodji, 18, French, F R/C.

Wilfried Niflore, 22, French, S C.

Gnahaoua Zoko, 25, Ivorian, S C.

A few of the above midfielders can play up front, but Zoko and Inkange look the likely pairing, both pacy and reasonably skilful. M’Bodji and Niflore are on loan from Marseille and Toulouse respectively, but they are being sent back as other options will be explored during pre-season. Moughfire is average bordering on the mediocre, and unless he is still needed as a gap filler at the start of the season, he too could be encouraged to find a new club.

Link to post
Share on other sites

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OMDave:

_Foreword_

A week ago, if anyone had suggested I write a story based on the life of a CM manager, as viewed from within the game, I would have taken this to be a ‘smart alec’-type of remark, the kind of oh-so-subtle ****-take of another person’s habits or opinions that Fergie would be proud of –in short, it would have seemed a student w***er’s way of saying there were more constructive ways to spend one’s time than to sit for hours in front of a machine, apparently stupefied yet prone to sudden and shocking outbursts of psychotic fury, hurling torrents of abuse at an inanimate object that eighty percent of the planet’s population cannot afford…All right, forget the initial premise, _that_ would have been the student w***er’s way of saying it…

But then, a little under a week ago, I joined the Community. The main reason it took me so long is probably the fact that outside of e-mail use, I’ve tended to nurse an unfair prejudice towards the Internet, in that I lived under the delusion that it was a territory best left to geeks and other techno-boffins, a superficial and deliberately esoteric arena, which had little or no chance of resisting the tsunami of mercantilism, conformity and overall mediocrity which eventually ground all other media to the ocean floor –at least, it can be hoped that it is really the floor, and not the edge of another, deeper marine precipice…A word of warning is in order here: there will be many digressions along the way…Anyway, since I’ve become a regular member I’ve found myself spending more and more of my ‘Community time’ reading CMS threads –I mean, who really gives a s*** who the best striker is?- or Clan Game threads. The quality of writing of the average post is very good, and some of the narrative sequences are brilliant –and I’m not just trying to make some new friends here, which I’m told all ‘noobs’ (took me a while to figure _that_ one out…) are supposed to do. My current favourite –of those I’ve read, which is less than I would have liked, but real life has a way of butting in at the most inappropriate moments- is “The Sleeping & The Dead Are But In Picturesâ€, a great title, hilarious player descriptions and a fine flowing style throughout. Eldritch7, I’m sure I’m not the only one awaiting the next instalment of the Daggers’ odyssey so please don’t let it lie for too long icon_wink.gif…

And so, at a time when I was finding it all but impossible to muster up any enthusiasm for a ‘solo’ game, I am now readying myself to begin a new one. Not to conquer the world, nor even to grind Paris SG into the dirt at any given opportunity –not this time…But instead for the sole purpose of providing an ‘objective’ context to a story, that of a young(ish) manager called David Le Spliff, a Marseille fan at heart though obviously he is not even close to good enough to manage them. Though I was tempted to take Libourne (in real life my mother, who is Irish, lives just outside this small, provincial town of the South-West), I ended up deciding for Cannes because it was just too good an opportunity to pass over, in terms of the narrative possibilities provided by the location. Anyone who’s ever been there will agree, I think, that the place is beyond ‘weird’, and in a way which anyone retaining an ounce of the quality known as ‘soul’ will find vaguely obscene and disquieting. Except perhaps for the loonies who live there, or the inane muppets who dream of doing so…Ideally it would have been nice to be able to start below ‘National’, the French equivalent of the Second Division, but saying that the game is limited in this respect would be like saying there isn’t that much energy produced in a nuclear fission reaction –if your basic unit of measurement is the amount generated by a solar flare, then no, there isn’t really that much at all…At this point in the text, there will be a CM fan who passed his/her A-level Physics –surely there must be a few- who will suddenly feel it is his/her (well, it is admittedly less likely that a woman should react in this way) mission in life to put up a message in this thread, pointing out the factual inaccuracy of the previous example and exposing me to the Community for being the fraud I never claimed not to be. Desist now! Fight back the prideful urge, and if all else fails simply create your own story, thereby giving yourself plenty of opportunities to show other people how ‘sorted’ and fascinating and hard (errr…sorry, wrong forum..) you really are. Should you find yourself unable to overcome your excessive regard for ‘truth’ (That Rather Unlikely Theoretical Humbug –hands up those who would have spotted it without the capitals…), be prepared for a retaliatory wave of the swiftest and most violent nature. I’m not kidding; I’ve worked for the UN and I know how these things work. First I’ll set Paddy Ashdown loose upon you, and while he distracts you with his special SAS-trained ‘lateral hypnotism’ techniques, I’ll get Kofi Annan to denounce you to the world in the strongest possible terms. In the unlikely event that you still cannot be deterred from your fiendish and malevolent course, I shall apply the ultimate death blow and send in USAid to coordinate the rebuilding of your infrastructure in accordance with sound principles of liberal economic practice –i.e. to subcontract the job to the highest bidders, and/or to the parties from whom the greatest financial or political ‘reciprocities’ might then be elicited without fear of denunciation…If that _still_ doesn’t scare you, please leave me alone –I don’t have much but I’ll pay anything you want, just don’t hurt me!!!

There is even the chance the story might serve as a palliative for my insomnia, though I think it rather more likely it will become an excuse to indulge it instead. Despite what was threatened above, all feedback is of course very welcome and it’ll be nice to have an excuse to exchange banter with people, as the only other members of the Community I ‘know’ are the lively bunch of pirates with whom I’ve been playing online for a few months now. Hi there lads –no doubt you’ll be the brunt of my audience, but the way I see it there’s more reward in getting one person to grin than there is in getting millions to chew…

Hope you enjoy the trip –I know I will!

PS: Don’t listen to anything my brother Alex says about me…It’s all lies! I swear it! I’ve been off the neuroleptics for years now… icon_biggrin.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Extra paragraphs never hurt. icon_wink.gif Interesting read though.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks jgflg, you're right about the paragraphs, I realized that too late...

Diary entry (Source: David Le Spliff's personal diary) - dated 15th June 2003.

First proper day dat the club. Got there an hour before training was due to start, which gave me some time to meet the other staff, to get a feel for the place and sample Bernadette's (very fine) coffee before being introduced to the players as they trickled in.

Aside from Bernadette and the irrepressible Big Mike, no-one displayed any overt friendliness. The others' reactions ranged from wariness to plain distrust to thinly-veiled contempt, and I was glad when the chairman hustled everyone towards the changing-rooms. From then on I just ignored the sullen or curious stares, and began to make mental notes of everything I saw.

I spent most of the training session watching Charly (Loubet) and Pascal (Favre) lead the proceedings, with Big Mike insisting on standing next to me through most of it, jabbering away about this or that player, about some of the previous season's games, about the fans -in fact, I learnt more by just letting all the babble sink in than I did by reading about the club in my own time, and our chairman seems to possess a keen footballing mind, somewhat offset by his rounded appearance and chain-smoking of expensive Cuban cigars...

Later on I settled into my new office, where several typed pages awaited my perusal on the desk - a list of players currently out of work and looking for a club, many of whom I was shocked to recognise as they had at some time been full internationals, or at least established club players at a much better level than our current one. For once Big Mike was nowhere to be found, so I decided I'd sak where the list had come from some other time. Instead I got on the phone and made some calls...

Link to post
Share on other sites

And now for some 'proper football stuff'... icon_biggrin.gif

Website feature (Source: Football365.fr - AS Cannes team report)

15.06.03

Amadou M'Bodji and Wilfried Niflore, both at the club on loan, are returned to Marseille and Toulouse respectively.

Former Chilean international Jorge Vargas (SW/D C, 27) signs on a free transfer. He was capped eight times and is a former Reggina (ITA) player.

Nigerian attacking midfielder Garba Lawal (AM L/C, 29) joins Cannes on a free transfer. He played several years at Roda JC (HOL) and was capped thirty-five times for his country.

Uruguayan forward Federico Magallanes (F C, 26), once considered one of the brightest prospects of his generation in South America, signs on a free transfer. He vows to relaunch his career and put an end to his club-trotting days, which saw him play for eight clubs in eight years and dragged his career deeper and deeper into mediocrity.

16.06.03

Jean Dika (D C, 24) joins Cannes on a free transfer. He has lingered in the Atletico Madrid reserves for some time, and needs competitive playing time if he is going to push for a place in the Cameroon national squad.

Laurent Charvet (D R/C, 30) returns to Cannes on a free transfer. Formed at La Bocca, he was part of the Zidane generation in the club's youth teams, and spent several years in the English Premiership as a dependable squad player.

Russian goalkeeper Alexandr Filimonov (GK, 29) joins on a free transfer. Once Spartak's first choice, this eccentric performer was capped eight times at full international level.

17.06.03

Djibril Diawara (D/DM R/C, 28) signs on a free transfer. Quick and strong, very good in the air, this all-purpose defender played for Monaco and Torino but never really established himself in either team.

Nigerian former international Mutiu (F R/C, 32) and precocious midfielder Suleiman Mohammed (DM C, 19), both of whom have the same agent as their compatriot Garba Lawal, triple the size of the Nigerian community at AS Cannes. The two players signed on a free transfer as they were out of contract.

Link to post
Share on other sites

18.06.03

Peter Beardsley, former England winger and striker, has joined AS Cannes and will assume the position of technical skills’ coach.

Bruno Rohart signed from Wasquehal as general outfield coach.

Youssef Moustaïd (AM R/L/C, FRA, 26) signs on a free transfer.

19.06.03

Grégory Béranger signs for Pau for 5.000 £.

Cyril Guyot joins Amiens for 30.000 £.

20.06.03

David Bettoni announces he will retire at the end of the season.

22.06.03

Nenad Stojkovic leaves AS Cannes to become Guingamp’s assistant manager.

Fabien Valéri is transferred to Reims for 20.000 £.

23.06.03

Laurent De Palmas returns to his previous club Nîmes, for a fee of 50.000 £.

Janick Tamazout signs for Mulhouse for 50.000 £.

28.06.03

Manu Nogueira announces he’ll put an end to his playing career at the end of the season.

Scheduled Friendlies:

30/6 – away vs. Bastia

7/7 – home vs. Olympique de Marseille

19/7 – beginning of tour in Serbia, first game away vs. Vojvodina

23/7 – away vs. Red Star Belgrade

27/7 – away vs. OFK Belgrade, final game of tour.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Diary entry (Source: David Le Spliff’s personal diary) – dated 28th June 2003.

So little time to keep track of things these days…It’s been a very tiring two weeks, and in the beginning I came very close to packing it all in, so vociferous was the fans’ opposition to my appointment as manager. It helped that I don’t drive, as the first couple of evenings there was a ‘delegation’ waiting for me outside the club gates, and Christian Lopez had to bundle me out in his Renault Mégane. Curiously enough, no-one thought to look for me in the town’s hotels, and I wasn’t bothered much beyond a few glares and the odd muttered threat in a café. I think that even amongst the fans few were able to recognize me in the street, and Big Mike had seen to it that no photographs were published, that any interviews were given exclusively to radio stations, and that the first week of training sessions took place behind closed doors, or closed gates rather…

Then I began to meet representatives of the supporters’ clubs, and within a few days the notion of teaching me a good lesson seemed to fade from their minds –I think downplaying my role at the club went down well, as Christian Lopez is probably the most respected person around here, and he was happy to pretend he was assuming a more hands-on role with regards to matters on the pitch. I was surprised to find out that some of the players were actually enjoying the sessions more than they had in the past, and I’ve tried to lessen the barrier between the first team and the young hopefuls, which has relaxed the atmosphere somewhat.

This is not to say, of course, that all is well at AS Cannes, but so far the recruitment’s been far easier than I expected –amazing how many decent players are desperate for a job these days…I had a little help from Oncle Bébert, too, but more about that in a moment…We’ve set up some friendlies against superior opposition, and I honestly think we can do ourselves credit before the season starts –I’m particularly looking forward to our home friendly against the club I have always supported, Olympique de Marseille; their chairman Christophe Bouchet was very friendly on the phone, and I was on cloud nine for the next few days, planning what should be a very instructive tour of Serbia –my first real opportunity to find out what the players are like as people, and how they get on with each other. I’m also just plain glad to be going back there, and hope I’ll be able to spare a little time for myself and visit some friends.

Last week I had dinner with Bébert, the first time I’d seen him, or even spoken to him, since I’d arrived in Cannes. Obviously he has all kinds of connections, on several continents, and I’ve had many players’ agents contact me, some of whom quite frankly I would have thought were far too good to play in the National, or even possibly in the Deuxième Division. So now the club finds itself with several former or current internationals on its books, and no matter how hard I press, Bébert will not tell me why these players are so keen to play at Cannes, when their ability could easily get them a contract at a far bigger club. Not that I’m complaining or anything, but I just hope there’s nothing illegal involved, or at least nothing that could bring the club crashing down like an ill-conceived house of cards…

-“There’s nothing to worry about, David. You have my word on this. Do not ask me again.†I didn’t. Instead I swallowed, hard, because that glint in his eye was not religious fervour. It was much more dangerous than that, however improbable such an assertion might seem…

Anyway, I’m too busy with all the day-to-day stuff to worry much about it, and so tired at the end of every day that I usually conk out after a hot bath and a couple of joints, sometimes with a book but most evenings I can’t even focus on the words, far less on what they mean. As is beginning to be the case right now….A nice big fat one, and off to bed…

Link to post
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Game Report (Source: AS Cannes fanzine, 'Bocca Vera')

Bastia, 30th June 2003.

SC Bastia 1 (Née 12)

AS Cannes 1 (Inkango 46)

It is always difficult to draw meaningful conclusions from the ealiest of the pre-season friendlies, yet the overall impression given by this new-look Cannes side is a good one. In the end a draw seemed a logical result in a tight, defensive-minded game. This solid performance augurs well for the future, and the fact that Bastia -far superior on paper- were only allowed three attempts on goal will have been particularly pleasing to new manager David Le Spliff, whose appointment had shocked so many of us.

Bastia opened the score through Née after he slotted in the rebound from a superb strike by Ben Saada, which had bounced back off the crossbar into the grateful forward's feet. At the pause the Corsicans were still ahead, but one minute into the second half Cannes struck back through Bruce Inkango. The pacy young striker cooly curled it around Penneteau after Marsiglia had played him through.

On the whole Cannes had the better chances, and seemed physically fresher. Some of the club's faithful were even heard to comment that, after all, this young unknown who now directed the team could hardly do any worse than some of the clowns who'd been appointed in recent years.

We shall see.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Website feature (Source: Football365.fr - AS Cannes team report)

2.7.2003

Spanish veteran full-back Victor Torres Mestre (D L, 32) joins AS Cannes on a free transfer.

Michel Rodriguez signs for Troyes for a fee of 100.000 £.

3.7.2003

Young Dutch midfielder Urby Emanuelson (M C, 17) signs for Cannes on a free transfer.

4.7.2003

Mickaël Marsiglia joins Lyon for 500.000 £.

5.7.2003

Young Brazilian winger Toledo (AM/F R/C, 21) leaves Catanzaro for AS Cannes, despite the interest of giants Lazio and Corinthians. The fee is an initial 400.000 £, and is to reach a total of 750.000 £ in the event the player should make an international appearance.

7.7.2003

Bookmakers announced their odds for promotion from the French National this season, placing Beauvais, Cannes and Valenciennes as favourites on even odds. Wasquehal and Reims were given 5/4, and Nîmes 6/4.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Website feature (Source: Football365.fr – AS Cannes team news, July 2003)

Friendlies:

7.7.2003, Cannes.

AS Cannes 0, Olympique de Marseille 1.

Goals: Meriem (45, 0-1).

19.7.2003, Pre-season tour of Serbia.

Vojvodina 3, AS Cannes 1.

Goals: Djordjevic (41, 1-0; 56, 2-0), Ostojic (86, 3-0), Toledo (90, 3-1).

23.7.2003, Pre-season tour of Serbia.

Red Star Belgrade 2, AS Cannes 1.

Goals: Toledo (16, 0-1), Mladenovic (67, 1-1), Kovacevic (85, 2-1).

27.7.2003, Pre-season tour of Serbia.

OFK Belgrade 4, AS Cannes 3.

Goals: Kovacevic (45, 1-0; 58, 2-1), Diawara (52, 1-1), Boskovic (76, 3-1), Ilic (82, 4-1), Lawal (pen 89, 4-2), Zoko (90+2, 4-3).

Team News:

16.7.2003

Badr El Kadouri (AM L, Mor, 22) is loaned by Dinamo Kiev to AS Cannes for the rest of the season.

Laurent Mohellebi (DM L/C, Fra, 19) joins AS Cannes on loan from AS Monaco, for the length of the season.

22.7.2003

Christophe Dessy (Bel, 37) signed by AS Cannes as a goalkeeping coach.

René Bocchi (Fra, 52) joins Cannes as general outfield coach.

Pascal Faure is sacked as coach.

Patricio Videira joins Istres for 10.000 £.

23.7.2003

Sylvain Bied joins AS Cannes as goalkeeping coach.

25.7.2003

Yvon Schmitt (Fra, 51) signs on a free transfer and is assigned to general outfield coaching duties.

26.7.2003

Eric Lefebvre (Fra, 53) appointed as fitness coach by AS Cannes.

Francis Tisiot sacked as coach.

29.7.2003

Franck N’Dioro signed as outfield coach.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Press article (Source: France Football, 30th July 2003).

“Quiet revolution on the Croisette*â€, by Thierry Génovèse.

There’s a strong wind blowing at La Bocca, and it isn’t the mistral**. Many eyebrows were raised at the announcement that a twenty-nine year-old unknown had been appointed as the new Cannes manager, but there are signs already that the club is being steered into a new course, one which seems characterized by opportunistic recruitment and pragmatic finance, a method well-suited to the current climate of uncertainty with which professional players have had to cope.

Indeed, one may wonder what the likes of Aleksandr Filimonov, Garba Lawal, Jorge Vargas or Victor Torres Mestre are doing in the National, where the fans are much more used to watching semi-retired veterans and hopeful rejects from the so-called ‘élite’. More surprising still, Federico Magallanes and Brazilian winger Toledo have signed contracts with the club, when either of them could have elected to play for far bigger clubs than Cannes.

Watching a training session at La Bocca, it is easier to understand why; there is none of the paternalist, disciplinarian rhetoric one is so used to hearing on training grounds up and down the country. From the executive staff to the coaches to the players, there seems to exist an unbroken chain of reciprocity and consideration, a tacit agreement on the necessity of cohesion and unity within the ranks.

Though he displayed some apprehension at first, new manager David Le Spliff agreed to give a few comments after the training session. Regarding the new signings:

- “I’m as surprised as everyone else is. More pleasantly so, no doubt…†. This was followed by a message to the club’s followers, who have expressed on several occasions their scepticism concerning Le Spliff’s competence as a manager, and have pointed out in particular the glaring absence of any previous experience in a similar position:

- “I ask only one thing of the fans; that they judge me by their results. It seems to me the team’s overall performance in the pre-season friendlies ought to raise a few hopes. I realize that expectations are high, as we’ve been mentioned amongst the favourites for promotion, yet I am convinced the team has what it takes to fulfil this aim. By October we should be able to tell whether the mayonnaise is blending properly.â€

Again the response was a departure from the conventional ‘footspeak’, which so many of the game’s actors feel compelled to employ when addressing the press. It appears that Cannes are experimenting with a new approach to the combination of youth and experience, both within the first team and in the way the entire squad is involved in the formulation of the club’s objectives, and the devising of a methodology to help attain them. Every player is encouraged to provide his own input on how he might best progress, and to help define a clear role for himself within the structure of the squad. If this were not a football club one might see this as an exercise in unadulterated socialism, centred upon the notion of the collective as the embodiment of the noblest aspirations of the individuals who constitute it.

Certainly the diversity of nationalities and languages does not seem to hinder communication at the club, and Le Spliff maintains this is much more of an advantage than a hindrance:

- “The players learn from each other the different mentalities and features of the football culture from which they were issued. Africans, South Americans, Europeans –all constantly trying to perfect their approach to the game, to add to the depth of their tactical knowledge. The coaches and I all agree that the outcome of any given game is determined to a significant extent by what goes on in the players’ heads, and by the quality of the analysis provided by what we call the ‘footballer’s lobe’. Hopefully the theory will be borne out by the results in our first few competitive games…â€.

With the National season starting under a week from now, we should be given some indication of whether this is the case, and whether AS Cannes are able to stake their claim for a place among the leaders of this ill-assorted pack. Have you exercised your ‘footballer’s lobe’ today?…

(author’s notes)

*The Croisette is the famous promenade that runs along the Mediterranean seafront in Cannes, usually associated in people’s minds with the international film festival and other jet-setting absurdities…

**Strong Mediterranean wind blowing from inland out to sea.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks SI and rocheyuk -and aussient, whose post I hadn't responded to earlier.

Diary entry (Source: David Le Spliff's personal diary) - dated from 30th July 2003.

Got back from Belgrade a few hours ago, a bit the worse for wear but otherwise on a real high. The team behaved impeccably throughout the tour, both on and off the pitch, and after the last game I was able to spend a couple of days with some good friends from a few years back, when I was working in Kosovo. The reunion involved unhealthy amounts of slivovica and the local domacija, but you only live once...I hope...

Recruitment is proceeding apace, the final touches being applied to a squad that's been entirely transformed, far more so than I ever thought possible in so short a space of time. I suspect Oncle Bébert's agent friends have been working overtime, yet I've given him my word I wouldn't ask any more questions about it, and besides I'm the last person who should be complaining about the recent influx of quality at the club...

Another important aspect was to replace those coaches whom I knew would never come to terms with working under a twenty-nine-year-old upstart. We need staff who look forward to showing up every morning at La Bocca, and who can communicate their enthusiasm and knowledge to the players. The thing is, everyone at the club can see it's working, and the changes take place on an almost daily basis. All very encouraging, and there's a great atmosphere during the sessions -that guy from France Football (my first nationwide written press interview) even remarked upon it, after he'd spent a couple of afternoons watching our run-outs.

Anyway, the main satisfaction for me is the improvement of my relations with both the players and the coaching staff. Big Mike and Bernadette are a great help, and they've already started telling anyone who'll listen what a great job I'm doing for Cannes. Bless them both...

The first league game is just two days away, when we go to Nîmes, which at least won't be a long drive. I'm not really sure what to expect in terms of the opposition in general in the National, but after the way the team performed during the friendlies, I'm quietly confident that we've got what it takes to challenge for promotion, or even the title. Then again, what would I know?...

And now for the warrior's prize: a large mug of scalding Bewley's Irish Breakfast Tea, a big fat joint of local hydroponic Jack Herrer, and a long hot bath -simultaneously!...Methinks tomorrow's sessions will include much video analysis...

[This message was edited by OMDave on 17 April 2004 at 1:24.]

[This message was edited by OMDave on 17 April 2004 at 1:25.]

[This message was edited by OMDave on 17 April 2004 at 1:26.]

Link to post
Share on other sites

What I was trying to fit in, before being cut short by the ten-minute editing limit (yes, I'm hopeless...icon_biggrin.gif...) was that the encouragement received is a great incentive to post regularly, something I've not been very good at so far. All much appreciated icon14.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

Are you a Marseille aficionado too SI, or just an indulgent Geordie?... icon_biggrin.gif

Transcript of recording from surveillance equipment (Source: Organized Crime Unit, Criminal Investigations Unit, DAT audio file no. KB/5294-13, recording dated 30th July 2003, 23:17 local time).

Attached note: “No visuals were available to accompany what the mike picked up. Unidentified voices have been numbered, along with possible inferences where appropriate. Conversation recorded at ‘Le Belphégore’ restaurant in downtown Cannes. (Detective Inspector Laurent Giacomelli, OCU)â€

Albert ‘Bébert’ Labourdette* : Well, gentlemen; here’s to the success of our venture. Salùd!

Two other voices: Salùd!

(clinking of glasses)

Voice One** : I do not wish to spoil the moment, my friend, but do you not foresee any problems with our competitors? After all, they may well consider that you are trespassing on their territory.

A.L. : That we are trespassing, my friend …It is a little late to be having doubts, and frankly I must say that you are rather spoiling the moment…

Voice Two*** : Please forgive my nephew, Albert –he is too rash for his own good, and he will now speak only when spoken to.

Voice One : Forg…

Voice Two : Not a word!

A.L. : Gentlemen, let us forget this altogether. It would be wise for us not to meet again for some time, but rest assured I will keep you informed of the progress every step of the way. Now, about our competitors, as you call them: let me worry about that side of things. I’ve involved my own nephew in this, just like you do, but I wish I had found some other way. In short, my motivations are very strong in this instance, and I’ve dealt with much more significant threats at times when I wasn’t so motivated –as your uncle here can tell you, son…

Voice Two : That I can, old friend. Those were the days….

A.L. : This is the day! It will take a while for this to take off, but I can guarantee you that when it does, it’ll make the flesh-and-dope market look like a poor excuse for a profit. Besides, I know that with the recent problems you’ve had with the Shiptars**** and the Russkoffs you’re looking to move into something less…hectic. I sympathize with that, and as your friend I want to help you. And it so happens I’ll also be able to help my nephew and myself, though the poor lad is hardly aware of just how much is at stake…

Voice Two : Albert…you know I ask this because I have to, but….can we rely on him if things get a little…well…messy?

A.L. : Thirty years ago, when we were still young and pretty, we stood side to side while our company was torn to shreds in some godforsaken corner of the Laotian jungle, ambushed by those Green Beret ****ers and their nasty little friends, pumped up to the gills with amphetamines and the latest Yank war toys. You saved my life that day.

Voice Two : Many times have we saved each other’s life, over the years.

A.L. : My point exactly. And that’s why I haven’t taken offence –the boy is family, which should be plenty enough reassurance for your bosses. Don’t worry, I understand your position, let’s not mention this again…

Voice Two : It is kind of you to provide me with an honourable way out. You have always been a man of honour, Albert.

A.L. : I like to think so. Incidentally, that’s why I never use your name, my friend. Our porcine friends have a sharp sense of hearing, far more so than one would surmise from their imbecilic appearance….

(laughter)

* : Cf. CIU File No. AL-5937/b97

** : Unidentified male, slight Hispanic accent, probably Latin American, possibly Bolivian or Peruvian.

*** : Same characteristics as 'Voice One'.

**** : From the Albanian word for 'Albanian', 'Sqiptari' (pronouned 'sheep-tahr').

Here ends the Prologue...

Link to post
Share on other sites

Impressive writing style icon14.gif

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OMDave:

_Are you a Marseille aficionado too SI, or just an indulgent Geordie?..._ icon_biggrin.gif

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wouldn't say aficionado, but i do have a huge soft spot for L'OM icon_smile.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

Nice one SI...Quite like Depor myself as over the last decade they often spelt trouble for Fergie's Uglies...I hear Galicia is a great place -fellow Celts and all that... icon_cool.gif

Just noticed that in the previous story post I shouldn't have used *s for footnotes, as it's a bit confusing with the 'doctored' words further down...oh well... icon_rolleyes.gif... done it again...

Hopefully over the next few days I'll get Chapter One running along -a good start in the league would be nice...Time to play a little solo CM again... icon_smile.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

CHAPTER ONE: STORMY WEATHER.

Player files (Source: David Le Spliff's personal notes, entry dated 1.8.2003)

This is what the team looks like on the eve of our first league game, the core of twenty-two players I'm likely to call upon, ordered by their allocated shirt number.

1. Alexandr Filimonov - GK, 29 yrs old, Russian.

Capped sixteen times for his country, he lost his place at Spartak Moscow in 2001 and was shipped off to another Russian club, Uralan Elista. Joined on a free transfer in the summer. Very eccentric and a little uneasy with high balls, he is an otherwise competent all-round keeper, very explosive and physical. He is the first-choice goalkeeper.

2. Djibril Diawara - D/DM R/C, 28, French.

Formed at Le Havre, he had unsuccessful spells at Monaco and Torino, who released him this year. Joined on a free transfer. Quick, strong and commanding in the air. Lacks tactical sense and skill, but should prove a real asset to the team as an explosive full-back at this level. First-choice right-back.

3. Victor Manuel Torres Mestre - D L, 32, Spanish.

Strong full-back in the twilight of his career. Was unemployed and joined on a free transfer in June. His experience should be very helpful to the younger players, and besides he has played in France before, at Bordeaux during the 1998/99 season.

4. Jean Dika - D C, 24, Cameroonian (holder of Portuguese passport).

Strong and quick, good man-marker and works hard on the pitch. His main weakness as a defender is in coping with aerial threats, and in the long-run I'll probably be looking to replace him. Right now, however, he is an obvious starter despite the fact that he has not played competitive football since his days in the Atletico Madrid reserves four seasons back. He hopes to kickstart his career back into life by starting over at a lower level, and we're happy to give him the opportunity.

5. Jorge Vargas - SW/D C, 27, Chilean.

Capped eight times for Chile. Jorge's arrival on a free transfer was one of the several major surprises that cropped up during our 'recruitment frenzy'. An intelligent player with good defensive awareness and skills, Jorge was released by Reggina after four seasons of loyal services. At 27 he is bound to attract the attention of bigger clubs if the team performs well, and I've already had to reassure him that I wouldn't stand in the way of his career if this turned out to be the case.

6. Suleiman Mohammed - DM C, 19, Nigerian.

Young Nigerian recommended by head scout Jean Varraud. Has great potential but needs to work hard on technique and tactical intelligence. Not a playmaker or creator, but a very bright prospect as the anchor in an otherwise adventurous midfield. He will be starting in that position, despite his young age. One to watch closely.

7. Toledo Robson - AM/F R/C, 21, Brazilian.

By far the most surprising and exciting acquisition we have made. Lazio and Corinthians were on the ranks, but didn't guarantee him first-team football. Chose Cannes against all odds and is bound to set the National alight. It's very unlikely we'll be able to hang on to him very long. Signed from Catanzaro for an initial 400.000 £, financed by the sale of Marsiglia. He will start up front, though in my mind his true position is on the wing. I'm expecting a lot from his partnership with Mutiu.

8. Youssef Moustaïd - AM R/L/C, 26, French.

Formed at Nancy, where he played his entire career before being released. Difficult to understand why, as he has the profile of a very decent attacking midfielder, being sharp, skilful and an excellent dribbler of the ball. Will start on the right side of midfield, and should make a big impression at the club if he maintains his pre-season form.

9. Mutiu Adepoju - F R/C, 32, Nigerian.

Another wise head firmly planted on solid shoulders. Played most of his career in Spain before moving to the lucrative Saudi Arabian league. Had an unsuccessful spell in Turkey last season and was released upon expiry of his contract. Capped 54 times for Nigeria, Mutiu is an intelligent player whose lethal ability in the air and keen eye for goal should serve the club very well.

10. Federico Magallanes - F C, 26, Uruguayan.

A product of mythical Peñarol Montevideo's youth system, he was singled out for greatness but ended up drifting from club to club, never able to impose himself in Europe. Released by Torino at the end of last season, he joined on a free transfer. A pacy attacking midfielder with flair and skill, he will be the team's playmaker and will have license to roam, providing what I hope will be an effective counterpoint to Mohammed's graft and strength in the middle of the park.

11. Gnahoua Zéphirin Zoko - S C, 25, Ivorian.

Formed at ASEC Abidjan, still a little-known figure in French football. Pacy and a decent finisher, he is an excellent set-piece taker and can hold his own in the air most of the time. Needs to show he can bring his game to a higher level and improve his overall ability. Will probably start most games, though this will also be determined by the quality of his performances.

[squad list continues below]

Link to post
Share on other sites

12. Urby Emanuelson - M C, 17, Dutch.

Deemed surplus at Ajax, where he came up through the ranks, this talented young playmaker needs to work hard on his fitness and on the physical aspects of his game. Should get games both in the reserves and in the first team, where he will provide cover for Magallanes. I'll be monitoring his progress closely all season, as I believe he has the potential to become an excellent player.

13. Laurent Charvet - D R/C, 30, French.

The prodigal son. A member of the 'Zidane generation' at the club, he then plied his trade in the English Premiership and First Division with Chelsea, Newcastle and Manchester City. Spent last season warming the Sochaux bench, and was released in the summer. Laurent is delighted to take up this final challenge, as he sees it, with the club he had started out at. His value is most apparent on the training grounds, where he is a great help to the coaching staff. He also provides the team with experienced cover for the centre-back and right-back positions. Will probably be called upon quite a number of times this season.

14. Garba Lawal - AM L/C, 29, Nigerian.

Capped 35 times for his country. Third member of the Nigerian trio who joined the club on free transfers. Initially I thought he would be a definite starter, but given the luck we've had in recruiting quality players, he will be used as cover for the left side of midfield. He has played very little competitive football since leaving Roda JC in 2002.

15. Siramana Dembelé - AM R/C, 26, French.

With Zoko and Padovani he is one of the three initial squad members still in the first-team set-up. Has good pace and decent skills, makes intelligent runs and can cross the ball. Good cover on the right of midfield.

16. Laurent Mohellebi - DM L/C, 19, French (on loan from Monaco).

Formed at Monaco, versatile defensive midfielder with a good left foot and an impressive tactical sense, in a player so young. Will provide good cover for the left-back spot as well as for the anchor role in midfield. We'll be looking to sign him permanently if we can afford to.

17. Bruce Inkango - F C, 19, French.

In the reserves at the moment to gain playing experience. Formed at the club, has a great turn of pace and promising technical ability, as well as the potential to become a very good finisher. Could get a few first-team games under his belt before long, and turn quite a few heads in the process.

18. Ludovic Viltard - F L/C, 19, French.

Surplus at Lorient, signed for 20.000 £. Skilful forward, in the reserve team to get some game time. Head scout Jean Varraud recommended him highly, so I'm very hopeful he'll be a useful member of the squad pretty soon.

19. Michel Gafour - AM L/C, 21, French.

In the reserves to get a regular game. Same profile as Lawal but has less experience and maturity. Reasonable back-up in case we're really hit hard by injuries.

20. Julien Faubert - D R/C, 19, French.

Decent prospect formed at the club. In the reserves for now, but might come to play a part later on as extra cover for the defence. Fit and hard-working, very focused during training.

21. Badr El Kadouri - AM L, 22, Moroccan (on loan from Dinamo Kiev).

Very pomising winger with lightning pace and good skills. A starter on the left of midfield, he should play a big part in providing service to the front two. Could well end up at a much bigger club, and frankly I am unable to comprehend how he fails to command a place at Kiev. The lad is dynamite, and seems to be enjoying himself tremendously since he got here. Obviously he missed the Mediterranean, and he's fitting right in with the other lads so far.

22. Jean-Daniel Padovani - GK, 23, French.

Cover for Filimonov, a decent all-round keeper with no obvious weakness nor outstanding quality. Solid, and should do the job well at this level when he is called upon.

Overall, the quality of this team seems well in excess of the level required to succeed at this level. In any case, most of these players will lose interest rapidly if we are not pushing for honours, and we can ill-afford a hesitant start to the campaign. Still, the mood is confident, and when we travel to Nîmes tomorrow we'll be given a much clearer idea of where we stand in relation to our most dangerous rivals. Don't think I'll be getting much sleep tonight...

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you very much for all the support. The CMS/FMS forum set-up is a brilliant idea and it's been a lot of fun since I joined in March. I'm definitely hooked... icon_biggrin.gif

By the way, Terk, does this mean the ban on Marseille supporters at CMS meet-ups might be lifted?... icon_wink.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

Game report and team news (Source: 'Bocca Vera' fanzine, issue #937 - 1st-8th Aug. 2003).

Sat. 2nd August 2003.

Stade des Costières, Nîmes (attendance: 3727).

Nîmes Olympique 0

AS Cannes 2

Goals: Mohammed 83 (0-1), Diawara 90 (0-2).

The first half-hour was almost entirely to Cannes' advantage, but Nîmes' goalkeeper Duchesne was on hand every time, making four good saves before his team created their first chance, a wayward strike from Verschave which flew over the bar. It was the home team's only shot at goal of the first half, but right after the break Verschave almost opened the score, Dika's desperate tackle somehow getting the ball away. With 25 minutes to go Cannes brought on Magallanes and Zoko, to replace Emanuelson and Mutiu respectively, but it was Nîmes who pushed hardest for the next fifteen minutes or so, with Cohade, Mangione and Boulebda all denied by Filimonov. This offensive spree opened up a lot of space in midfield, and Cannes grabbed the opener when in the 84th minute Mohammed rose near the penalty spot, meeting Zoko's free-kick with a firm header which Duchesne saw far too late to do anything about. Nîmes' tactical scheme seemed to go to pieces then, and they found themselves almost completely incapable of regaining possession as Cannes switched play easily from side to side, playing keep-ball and pulling their opponents further and further out of position. Just as the game was entering injury time, a corner from the right by Zoko found Diawara at the near post, and the right-back's header cannoned through the keeper's outstretched arms to make certain Cannes' victory.

This was a solid performance by the team from the Côte d'Azur, who did however ride their luck, as Nîmes had several clear-cut chances to go ahead in the second half. But Cannes remained very attentive at the back throughout the game, and man-of-the-match Djibril Diawara reigned supreme over his right flank, very efficient both in going forward and in breaking down opponents' moves. Filimonov, Vargas and Mohammed all made excellent débuts, and as a whole the team seemed to work well together -certainly better than might have been expected from a team in which not a single starting player was at the club last season...Nîmes probably deserved at least a point from the game, but they struggled to cope with El Kadouri and Moustaïd's runs down the wings, and never really looked like taking the upper hand in the midfield battle.

An encouraging start for the new manager and his eclectic squad, this away win, but it would be foolish to get carried away -there is a lot of room for improvement in the way the players cover their respective areas, and a couple of injuries to crucial players could seriously undermine the strength of the team as a whole.

Thu. 7th August 2003.

Laurent Mohellebi, already on loan at the club, is signed on a permanent transfer from Monaco for an initial 50.000 £. An additional 50.000 £ will be paid after he has played ten games for the club.

Link to post
Share on other sites

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OMDave:

By the way, Terk, does this mean the ban on Marseille supporters at CMS meet-ups might be lifted?... icon_wink.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

i may have to reconsider my position and change from a blanket to a selective ban icon_razz.gif

congratulations on the story of the week, btw icon14.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

Cheers Terk, that's the spirit...and thank you... icon_biggrin.gif

Game reports and team news (Source: Football 365.fr – National updates section)

9.8.2003, Stade de la Bocca (att. 3727).

AS Cannes 8, Sannois Saint-Gratien 0.

21. El Kadouri streaks down the left flank and crosses to the near post. Mohammed controls it and chips to the penalty spot, where Toledo is waiting unmarked. Easy finish for the Brazilian. 1-0.

24. El Kadouri is tripped in the box, and Moustaïd easily converts the penalty. 2-0.

27. A missed clearance falls to Torres Mestre in the box, and he sidefoots it from ten yards in the top right-hand corner. 3-0.

38. Mohammed is pushed by a defender as a corner comes in from the left. Moustaïd puts away the penalty. 4-0.

39. Mutiu is brought down in the area. Moustaïs sends the keeper the wrong way yet again. Hat-trick of penalties! 5-0.

52. Toledo runs fifty yards with the ball and is felled from behind as he enters the box. Moustaïd steps up, but this time his penalty crashes against the post.

57. Moustaïd cuts back a corner from the right. Torres Mestre controls, then sends a fabulous thirty-yard strike into the roof of the net. 6-0.

62. Torres Mestre plays a superb ball into the box for Mutiu, unmarked six yards out and to the left of goal. He beats the keeper from a narrow angle. 7-0.

88. A crude challenge on Mutiu in the box sees Cannes obtain another penalty, their fifth. Moustaïd scores with an emphatic strike down the middle, making it four out of five for this incredible game. 8-0.

For their first home game of the season in the National, Cannes astounded observers with the fluency of their passing game, which ripped the opposition’s defensive scheme to shreds, and induced what can only be described as sheer panic amongst Sannois SG’s flat back four. The home team capitalized on this again and again, with man-of-the-match Moustaïd scoring an unheard-of four penalties in a ninety-minute encounter. He will probably not be rueing the one he did not convert, kept out by the woodwork. The only somber note was Magallanes’ twisted knee, which kept him out of the following game, away to Sète. Cannes’ second victory in as many games saw them go top, by virtue of their excellent goal difference, alongside Brest and Angoulême who also stood with six points.

16.8.2003, Stade Louis Michel (att. 4034).

FC Sète 1, AS Cannes 3.

10. Colloredo, from a good position on the left, finds Douillet in the box. The flick-on to the far post reaches Fidani, who is completely unmarked and easily beats Filimonov. 1-0.

25. El Kadouri wins the ball back and sends Mutiu down the left flank. The Nigerian’s first-time cross finds Toledo unmarked by the penalty spot. Powerful header through the keeper’s arms. 1-1.

43. Corner sent in by Moustaïd from the right. Diawara times his jump better than the keeper at the near post, and nods it into the top right-hand corner. 1-2.

72. El Kadouri beats two players and surges into the box, but he is bowled over without ceremony and earns his team a penalty. Moustaïd’s effort is parried by the keeper, but he coolly slots home the rebound on the follow-up. 1-3.

Cannes confirmed their resplendent form with a well-deserved away win over a weak Sète eleven. The home team’s early goal was little more than a false alarm, and turned out to be one of the very few opportunities they created. Cannes’ midfield controlled possession throughout, despite the absence of playmaker Magallanes, ably deputized by young Urby Emanuelson, a seventeen-year-old Dutchman –or rather, boy, though the elegance and maturity of his play belied his youth. Brazilian Toledo was the best player on the pitch, taunting opponents with mesmerizing runs and a casual disregard for the laws of physics. Cannes strengthened their position at the top, with Brest now the only other side to have collected all nine points from the first three games.

On the next day (Sunday 17th August) it was announced that Julien Tournut (D L/C, 21, French) will join Cannes on loan for the rest of the season. Tournut is under contract at Nancy, where he was languishing in the reserves, and will provide additional cover for the centre-back and/or left-back positions.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Diary entry (Source: David Le Spliff’s personal diary) –dated 20th August 2003.

Quiet night in, mostly spent sprawled on the couch in the little flat I’m now renting. It’s basic but it’s five minutes’ walk from La Bocca and the neighbours are laid-back –Big Mike took me to this ‘residential park’ just outside Cannes, purpose-built for executives, showbiz people and mafia types. It vaguely reminded me of the shopping mall in Romero’s classic zombie film, with all the extra little perks that come with luxury standing –a private security firm patrolling the gated complex, video-surveillance everywhere, and sprawling villas that would have had a Roman senator tear his toga to shreds in envy…

I think Michel was disappointed when I said ‘thanks, but no thanks’, but we had a talk afterwards about my views on money and luxury, which left him a little perplexed but reassured that I wasn’t snubbing his attempt to help out. He came to the flat once; wrinkled his nose at the plain stone walls, nodded sagely and eventually said: “I see what you meant by ‘keeping things simple’. Well, come along then, I’ll buy you dinner at the Espadon…†. And as this was a couple of days after the win at Nîmes, I was no longer as apprehensive when it came to being out and about in town. Some people were even beginning to smile at me, or pat me on the back, and at the Espadon they insisted on bringing out a bottle of excellent Saint-Estèphe to celebrate our victory. I wasn’t all that comfortable with the attention, and suspected Big Mike of having manipulated me in what felt like a bizarre advertisement stunt for the restaurant, but I kept my mouth shut and smiled, and even ended up spending a very pleasant evening. Which just goes to show…

On the pitch, things couldn’t have started better, not in my wildest pre-season flight of fancy…The first game was the tightest, and I got a heavy dose of the irrepressible waves of anxiety that assail a manager during an important game, the impossible blending of ecstasy and rage in a ninety-minute whirlwind of pure stress…What impressed me the most was the way the players reacted after the game; everyone was well-aware we were fortunate in taking away three points, and on the way back many were already discussing how best to improve the side’s tactical coherence. All that week we trained hard, and had two long video sessions to analyse our first game ‘play-by-play’, as our Transatlantic friends would say. This seemed to go down well with both the staff and the players, and I made a mental note to send out for videos of our next opponents too.

Whether this had anything to do with the extent of our victory against Sannois SG, I have no idea, but again it was the perfect start, and I think it’s a very big step in winning the fans over. The praise came from all sides, and I worried that some players might become a little lax in their attitude towards training. I needn’t have bothered about it though, and although Sète proved marginally better than the abysmal Sannois SG, we over-ran them easily on their own turf and people are beginning to take notice. Frankly, I would have been happy to simply remain within comfortable reach of the lead, to let the team get used to each other and find their respective feet gradually. Instead we’re sitting on top –and no complaints there, it’s just that expectations are bound to grow accordingly, and we’d have a much more average side if a few important players happened to injure themselves, as Federico (Magallanes) did against Sannois SG…

Next we’ll face Louhans-Cuiseaux at La Bocca –they’re fourth and Christian Lopez told me they’d be tougher to beat than Nîmes, though home advantage does make us favourites to win. Bébert phoned me to say he’d turn up to watch the game, and that we could have dinner that night as he’d be in town. I wasn’t going to turn down a chance to try and find out what had been going on behind my back, but I have no idea how I’ll be able to get him to tell me anything, and I did promise not to ask any questions, which places me in something of a bind…tactics and bloody strategy all the way…oh well…skin up, hale in, conk out…

Link to post
Share on other sites

Game reports and team news (Source: ‘Bocca Vera’ fanzine, issues #938 and 939)

23rd August 2003.

AS Cannes v. Louhans-Cuiseaux (La Bocca, att. 2526)

Despite the fair weather and ideal playing conditions, La Bocca was four-fifths empty for Cannes’ second home league game of the season. The first half-hour was completely dominated by the local team, and as early as the eighth minute the scoring was opened by Suleiman Mohammed, a fabulous strike into the top left-hand corner from a good twenty-five yards, after Torres Mestre had slipped the ball inside and taken in two markers with his fake run. Toledo came close to adding to their lead several times, but opposing keeper Cédric Klein and his defenders dealt well with the constant threat, and on their first foray forward, Louhans-Cuiseaux equalized through a penalty by Liotte ten minutes before the break, rightly given for a blatant shove on Erceau by El Kadouri. Cannes pushed hard to regain the lead before half-time, and won a dangerous free-kick twenty yards from goal in the last moments of the first half, slightly to the left of goal. Mutiu stepped up and powered a great strike into the top right-hand corner, well out of Klein’s reach.

Five minutes after the restart Moustaïd came off worse in a clash with De Neef and had to be stretchered off, Zoko replacing him and taking position up front whilst Toledo moved out to the right wing. Cannes pressed on, sensing another goal would almost certainly win them the game, but Zoko and Magallanes missed easy opportunities, whilst Louhans-Cuiseaux managed to create a couple of good chances that might have earned them a little-deserved point. But the score line did not alter, and whilst the result suggested a closer game than had actually taken place, the home team’s victory was somewhat dampened by Moustaïd’s injury, which will keep him away from the pitch for at least two weeks because of damaged knee cartilage. On a more positive note, Mutiu’s capable display earned him man-of-the-match, and Toledo, Mohammed and Dika all put in performances confirming their excellent early-season form.

AS Cannes 2, Louhans-Cuiseaux 1.

Goals: Mohammed (8, 1-0), Liotte (pen 35, 1-1), Mutiu (45, 2-1).

Team: Filimonov – Diawara (sub 51), Vargas, Dika, Torres Mestre – Mohammed, Moustaïd (sub 51), Magallanes, El Kadouri – Toledo, Mutiu.

Subs: Mohellebi (on 51), Zoko (on 51). Not used: Padovani, Tournut, Dembelé.

Brest were held to a draw away to Bourg-Péronnas, which means Cannes are now the only team with a hundred-percent victory record, and two points clear at the top after four games.

27th August 2003.

Suleiman Mohammed will be out for two weeks after he strained his groin in one of the day’s training sessions.

Thibault Courtel (DM R/C, 19, French) signs from Marseille for an initial 35.000 £. The fee will reach 50.000 £ when he has played 20 games for AS Cannes. A pacy young full-back providing extra cover down the right flank, and the potential to break into the first team much quicker than would have been possible at Marseille.

28th August 2003.

Michel Salerno announces that four players have been released on free transfers by the club. Manu Nogueira, David Bettoni, Wilfried Bertrand and Youssef Moughfire were all on their last year of contract, and languishing in the reserves with “…little hope of ever seeing their names on a game sheet…†, according to Salerno.

29th August 2003.

In Monaco, Porto beat AC Milan on penalties after the Super Cup game ended in a 1-1 draw.

30th August 2003.

AS Cherbourg Football v. AS Cannes (Stade Maurice Postaire, att. 5158)

A wet, chilly day in Normandy did not prevent a great game of football, though for once things got off to a slow start, both teams finding it difficult to string more than a couple of passes together, resorting to long balls and individual flashes of inspiration. With half-an-hour gone, Dika’s long cross-ball found Toledo unmarked along the right touch-line, and the Brazilian played a lovely outside-foot pass into the path of Zoko’s well-timed run. The Ivorian’s header found the target from eight yards out. The teams returned to the dressing-rooms with Cannes one-up, a just reflection of the dominance of their midfield, which had asserted itself more and more forcefully as the game progressed.

Five minutes after the break Cannes doubled their lead, when Inkango cut back a corner from the right to Magallanes, unmarked on the edge of the box. The Uruguayan’s shot was deflected into the Cherbourg goal by a late attempt at a block, and suddenly Cherbourg seemed to realize that they too needed to score, altering their shape to a more attacking scheme and rewarded for their efforts when on the hour mark Usaï struck a magnificent free-kick, finding the top right-hand corner from twenty-five yards or so. On 65 minutes a great through-ball by Therry put Di Gegorio on orbit, and his excellent finish curled past the onrushing Filimonov to bring the teams level. With a quarter of an hour left, El Kadouri surged down the left and played a great ball over the Cherbourg centre-backs. Toledo raced on, checked the flag had stayed down and coolly adjusted the goalkeeper. Six minutes on Cannes made sure of the win when Mutiu drifted out left and sent in a great cross to pick out Toledo near the penalty spot. The Brazilian nodded in his second unopposed, causing the entire Cannes bench to erupt in anticipated celebration. Cherbourg did grab one back in injury time, Mazurier breaking free of his marker and lobbing Filimonov expertly as he came out to narrow the angles. But it was too little, too late, and though a draw would not have been an unfair result, Cannes took all three points yet again, with Federico Magallanes the best player on the park, and excellent performances from Toledo and Zoko whose adventurous runs played a large part in laying low the Cherbourg defence.

Cherbourg 3, Cannes 4.

Goals: Zoko (30, 0-1), Magallanes (50, 0-2), Usaï (60, 1-2), Di Gregorio (65, 2-2), Toledo (75, 2-3; 81, 2-4), Mazurier (90+3, 3-4).

Team: Filimonov – Diawara, Vargas, Dika, Torres Mestre – Mohellebi (sub 66), Toledo, Magallanes, El Kadouri – Zoko (sub 45), Mutiu.

Subs: Inkango (on 45, sub 53), Dembelé (on 53), Tournut (on 66). Not used: Padovani, Emanuelson.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...