[FM17] Hans Kaiser- Baldness Über Alles!

[oriole01]

Hans Kaiser watches this headline roll over and over again on the television screen nearest his hospital bed. He sits motionless, near catatonic, as he contemplates the scope of the day's events. People have been hurt. Some of them may not survive. Worst of all, there are several victims in much worse shape than Hans is in the same hospital in which he now found himself in. As the minutes pass and the nurses come and go, he only feels worse and worse. This would surely be his downfall. In a massive stadium with plenty of security cameras, there would surely be enough evidence to incriminate the talent men, and by extension, him. All the work he had put into Dortmund, all the steps he had taken to build his empire, would be gone. He is convinced that his next stop after his hospital discharge will be the back of a BPOL vehicle. What would his players, his coworkers, and his family think of him, not to mention the world at large? He would never have the respect and admiration he so craved again, that was for certain. He also knew, however, that anything that came his way next would probably be deserved.

Hans winces as he sees another coal-drenched patient being rushed down the hall on a stretcher. That person had a life, friends, family, a job. In the end, they weren't all too different, celebrity notwithstanding. Yet that person was here because of him, and that ate at him like a parasite. He wants to curl up in a ball, but he can't move. Yet as soon as he sees two familiar faces, he is immediately snapped out of his fragile state and thrown into one of disbelief, anger, and utter fear. Striding down the hall like they weren't the most wanted fugitives in Germany were Che and Zezé, smiles flashing beneath the mesh of their costumes. Hans rushes to take the IV out of his arm, leaps out of his bed, and runs toward the door. Yet it freezes in place. Hans can't move it any more than he could move Excalibur from the stone. The two figures enter Hans' room, which was naturally one of the nicest in the hospital due to his status, with Che gently closing, then locking, the door. Hans slowly moves back into his bed and re-inserts his IV.

"Calm down, Mr. Kaiser. We just checking on you. You are okay, no?"
The rage inside Hans burns like the heart of a blacksmith's forge, but he has to keep it down, or he's done for.
"Calm down? Are you ****ing kidding me? You are TERRORISTS! I told you what to do. You knew exactly how to do it, and you have disobeyed my orders again. Look what you've done! All of these people in here, it's your fault! And now I will never be great! I'm going to be in jail for the rest of my life, but at least you two psychos will be going down with me."
"Hey hey hey, I say calm down. You will be okay. We will be okay. When I say we have many talent, it really mean we have all the talents. It is impossible to stop us."
Zezé violently nods his crocodilian head in approval.
"No, you're finished! I've had enough of this! If the cops get me, I'll tell them everything about you, all your crimes, all your safehouses, not to mention the man underneath the costume! I've seen him, don't forget that."
"Are you trying to threat, Mr. Kaiser? Do not threat." Che calmly threatens back.
Hans doesn't respond. For a moment, he is sure he'll have his head done in, yet the talent men relax.
"No matter, police will not suspect you anyway, and even if you go to them, they will never catch us. Our talent too strong."
"What do you mean? How is it you escape capture?"
"Magic." Zezé giddily answers.
Hans shakes his head.
"I'm done with you people, I should have stayed away after Heligoland, and I sure as hell won't make that mistake again. What do I have to do to terminate this relationship? Pay you? Hand over my possessions?  Tell me, or I will do everything in my power to bring you down."
"Please stop the threat, Mr. Kaiser. Now is not time for humor. Do you forget contract? It only expire when you win Champions League. We plan on honoring contract, and we know you will, too." Che enunciates as he purposelessly digs through a jar of cotton swabs.
Hans had forgotten about their contract. He had had Johann take care of it for him. That was a stupid decision. Even more stupid, he realized, was to allow Johann to give the contract to the talent men for safekeeping.
"Listen, Mr. Kaiser. I feel like you lose the spirit of partnership. We know what you want, and you know what you want. We are communists. We believe in the level play field. Everything we do is to make this field level, so you can win." Che continues.
"I don't want communism, I want tyranny! I want everyone to look up to me, recognize me as the ruler, the king, the emperor! But you have ruined it!"
"Stop saying this, we ruin nothing. We only make you more strong."
"More strong? By releasing a chemical weapon? No one in those stands deserved this, even if they were Smurfs fans! There were... kids in there too! You're monsters!" Hans is sobbing.
"Yes, yes. We know this is harsh, but think this way. Schalke will never test you again. They know what we capable of, so they will bow down, as you say. With our help, the baldness working. You would not be this far without our talent."
"I can't believe you've just said that. I'm the boss. You are the employee. My success is mine, and I'm telling you that you are interfering with my success. Any good you've done for me, I no longer care for. One day, you will pay dearly for this! Now get out of my room!"
The talent men share their trademark glance, then laugh.
"Alright, Mr. Kaiser. Please take our flowers."
Zezé produces a small bundle of black flowers from the inside of his guitar case and sets them down on the floor next to Hans' bed. They turn to leave, but Che makes one last statement beforehand.
"And Mr. Kaiser, 'the man underneath' does not exist. The person you see that day, he is what we call in Argentina an 'olvidado', or a forgotten. He die long ago. We wish you speedy recovery, and can not wait to return to work."

With that, they're gone. Hans' head feels heavy, unable to think properly. He was out of options, there was no choice but to be at the mercy of the talent men until he could find their fatal flaw. If that day ever came, he would take the earliest opportunity to exploit it. But for now, he's stuck. In limbo. In purgatory. In madness. It wasn't a life too many people could live, and one that Hans couldn't afford to for much longer. How soon could he win the Champions League and finish the contract? Would even that make them leave him alone? These questions were impossible to answer, and would have to wait for another day.

After several minutes of contemplation, Hans reaches down and picks up the flower basket. Inside are six beautiful black roses and a handwritten note that read 'We Think of You'. He reaches for the flowers in curiosity, as he had never seen a rose of this color with his own eyes before. Yet when he pulls them up to his nose, he realizes the color is not natural. The smell emanating from them is an all too familiar aroma, one he wished he never had to smell again after today.
Coal.
Hans Kaiser faints.

Edited March 12, 2018 by oriole01
photo not working

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

Oh God! Kaiser's really put his foot in it now.

[ManUtd1]

Am I the only one who thinks that 'Das Amerikan' is the name of Pulisic's in-game Motley Crüe cover band?

I thought so. 

[oriole01]

5 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

Am I the only one who thinks that 'Das Amerikan' is the name of Pulisic's in-game Motley Crüe cover band?

I thought so. 

Yeah, that's a safe bet I'd say .

11 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

Oh God! Kaiser's really put his foot in it now.

Absolutely! Unfortunately, it's only going to get worse...

[BoxToBox]

6 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

Am I the only one who thinks that 'Das Amerikan' is the name of Pulisic's in-game Motley Crüe cover band?

I thought so. 

Known for their big hit, Mädchen, Mädchen, Mädchen.

[oriole01]

May 30, 2019. Dortmund, Germany.

It's been ten days since the Ruhr Derby and the subsequent coal attack afterward. Fortunately, there were no fatalities. Unfortunately, the talent men were still out there, and by now, Hans Kaiser knew better than to think that they could be caught. In the days following his hospital discharge, Hans had bulked up security around his residence, which now included ten layers of locked doors and gates, motion-detector alarm systems that would immediately notify police and Dortmund security, an infrared security camera that could detect heat signatures anywhere in its range, and numerous escape tunnels within the home should all previous measures fail. Yet he still couldn't be completely confident of his or his family's safety. All he can do is hope, and continue trying to live as normal a life as possible, serving his duties as a manager, a husband, and a father. One of those duties is picking up the family dinner from a local pizza takeaway. Unfortunately, as both of his vehicles are in the shop, he has to walk. Security is important as ever for Hans if he was going to walk down public streets. He's equipped with pepper spray, a taser, and if those didn't work, a Glock. Nothing like being prepared, he thought.

It's a cloudy, dark night in Dortmund. Normally it would still be light out at this time of night, but dark storm clouds are brewing overhead, queuing up to unleash their elemental fury on the city at a moment's notice. This certainly didn't calm Hans' nerves. These days, it felt like danger was around every corner, ready to lash out like a viper if he walked the wrong way. This is the first time he's walked on a public street in months, so he has to readjust to just about everyone who passed calling out his name or 'Baldness Über Alles' to try and make him smile. He couldn't. The pizza shop is only four blocks away, but each step feels like ages. Hans is panicking. He needs to get this over with. His pace becomes increasingly brisk and reckless as he nears his destination. Before long, he's sprinting. People take out their phones and record the odd sight, in puzzlement and amusement as to why the most famous man in Dortmund would need to be running if he wasn't on the sidelines hopped up on Red Bull. Of course, they didn't know the ugly truth behind Hans' discomfort.

Finally, Hans reaches the pizza shop. He's out of breath, panting as he feebly reaches to claim his order, a large margherita for Sophie and the boys, and a small pepperoni/sausage combo for himself. He's definitely the carnivore of the family. He sets out for home, struggling to attain the same pace as he did on his way there. The sight of Hans carrying two pizza boxes and running at full speed is twice as entertaining for the locals who have the fortune of seeing him, and even more entertaining for the two figures who had been following him in a refurbished 30s-era Maybach the entire time.

Hans does not want to spend another moment out in the open. By the time he's a block away from his home, he's looking for any shortcut possible, and by luck, he finds one. A field of tall grass; one he hadn't ventured much into in the past, but one that would practically land him in his front yard if he cut through it. He darts through the unkempt vegetation, but in his unfettered rush, he loses control of the pizza, the boxes falling and ejecting their contents onto the wet ground.
"****!" Hans exclaims as he bends over to pick up the casualties. His is nearly ruined, with most of the meat on the earth. The margherita is in slightly better shape, but it would still take some carefully constructed alternative facts to explain why it would taste like dirt. He tosses both back in their respective boxes, but as he attempts to stand back up, he feels cold steel. A muffled voice he has never heard before takes the liberty of speaking. It's in German.
"No movement. If you attempt to draw any of your three weapons, your head will be in the same place as those pizzas were a moment ago. Now empty your pockets."
Too shell-shocked to fight, Hans obliges, removing all of his possessions and tossing them on the ground. Oddly, the muggers don't take it.
"Now you come with us, Kaiser."
Hans is forcibly spun 90 degrees to face the muggers head on, and as soon as he sees them, his heart nearly explodes. He had had a premonition about what they would look like, and that premonition had come true after all. Standing before him are two costumed figures, one a bear and the other a lion, both sporting what looked like real blood on their rubber fangs, miner's helmets, and unbelievably sharp pickaxes. The bear, who has the words 'Ursa Miner' stitched in blue block letters into the torso of his costume, kicks Hans in the gut, sending him crumpling to the ground. He is then grabbed and dragged towards the running Maybach on the edge of the field and thrown into the trunk. He knew better than to ask where they were going. The trunk slams shut, condemning him to darkness. The car starts, and they're off. After a few minutes, he hears the inevitable storm begin, the sounds of rain and thunder providing a perfectly fitting backdrop to what would surely be a horrible night. Yet despite it all, he collapses into a perilous sleep.

Gelsenkirchen

When Hans wakes up, he's on the ground outside the Maybach, but he can't even see that. He's blindfolded, bound with heavy rope, and gagged with what appeared to be a football scarf. He's also quite disoriented following his poorly-timed power nap. It's not long before his captors grab and haul him by the shoulders towards wherever their next destination was. The path there seems eternal. All Hans can feel for an inordinate amount of time is rough gravel and dirt cutting into his pants, and eventually his bare legs once that line of defense fell. Various strange odors and noises surround him, giving Hans the sense that he wasn't in a place he would take his family on holiday. Eventually, they stop. Hans hears some sort of mechanical switch being pulled, and then they are jolted downwards in a flash. At first, it seems as if the floor's been removed and he's free falling to hell. Yet the descent immediately halts moments later, and he is dragged out into what felt like a much more open space. That's when the blindfold comes off. 

Any passionate Dortmund fan would have gone insane if they saw what Hans was seeing. Behind him was a mine elevator, one that should have terrified even the bravest of miners, as it had for him. Before him is a massive, dimly-lit ballroom with coal walls and dozens of blue and white tables. Adorning the walls were enormous Schalke banners, tifos, and flags. One particularly eye-popping design depicted a lion eating a German Shepherd, in reference to the notorious incident at the 1969 Ruhr Derby. Seated at the tables are hundreds of well-dressed men and women, yet they definitely didn't look like your usual aristocrats. Each one of them had their face smeared- and some of them completely covered- with coal, like they all got drunk on Ash Wednesday. Many also wore a long hairstyle, in conjunction with Markus Weinzierl's counter to baldness. Some of them were costumed, some didn't even look human. One strange man wearing a fur cap walked around asking several people if they had a light. Most disturbingly, each guest of this macabre gathering was staring at Hans Kaiser like he was the catch of the day. He must have been, because they looked ready to devour him.

For a brief moment, Hans is left in the company of the mob as the bear and lion are pulled to the side to talk to a tall, burly man in a suit and tie. A Schalke official, presumably. This change proves most uncomfortable, as several coal-faced and ****-faced Smurfs converge upon him, acting like very invasive sloths. For some reason, they slowly move their fingers out to touch him from all angles, smearing his bald head with coal. Soon enough, there are at least 20 of them on him, forcing him to scream in terror against the gag at the sheer discomfort of the entire situation. With that, the bear and lion return to break up the mob, then grab hold of him again, this time hauling him up to the center stage, where only a sole microphone lay. The lion steps up to it, whilst Ursa Miner continues to restrain Hans about ten feet behind. The lion fumbles around the inside of his costume for a crumpled piece of paper, then begins to speak to the crowd as the morbid first lines of Misfits' 'Last Caress' play in the background.
"Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we are gathered as a testament to the pride, passion, and honor of our great club Schalke 04! We are here to celebrate our tradition, but we are also here to take a measure most necessary to preserve that tradition. You all know the man we have brought here tonight. This human garbage is known as Hans Kaiser in the land of the Ticks, but here we shall call him the cow. One that we shall lead to slaughter! We believe he is the one responsible for the recent attack on our commoner brethren. At our own stadium, let us not forget! The police and the public may not be able to bring justice, but we are the Ultras! We are the ones who fight in the trenches, and in this case we are the ones who must deliver justice when no one else can. This is a drastic time that calls for drastic measures, and now is the time that we take them! Who's with me?
A hearty roar bellows from the crowd in response. They were definitely on board.
"Excellent! So now, a reckoning is in order! In addition to much-needed justice, we must send a message to all of those from where this filth calls home that this sort of cowardice will not be tolerated! We sent them a message once-
An unsavory-looking man runs onto the stage and hands the lion Dortmund's stolen 2011/12 Bundesliga trophy. The crowd cheers. Hans wants to charge the lion, but the bear's unbelievably strong arms and the rope around his hands keep him from doing so.
"and now we shall do it again!"
The lion beckons to the bear to bring him over to the front of the stage. Hans is lifted into the air and crushed against the bear's chest. The bear moves over to his comrade, then sets him down. Before Hans can think of trying to run, the lion delivers a sharp blow to his temple, dropping him to the cold wood floor. He steps back up to the microphone.
"Mr. Hans Kaiser, we of Schalke 04 charge you with the attempted murder of over 50,000 of our beloved fans. We also charge you with the murder of Jan Oberhauser, our dear friend. You have profoundly angered each and every one of us with your ridiculous 'Baldness Über Alles' campaign for nearly two years. We have spared you until now, but this is the last straw, the final insult. For this crime, we sentence you to death."
With that, the lion, whose horrifying mask emulates a merciless expression underneath, draws his pickaxe from his side. The wooden handle has been painted blue, with 'S04' scrawled in manuscript across it. The steel blade, sharpened to a devastating degree, reflected Hans's head and neck back upon him as he lay strewn upon the floor, unable to fight back. He was going to die. Did he deserve it? Hans didn't know.
The bear pulls him up off the ground and onto his knees, forcing him to face the rabid, fanatical crowd before him. A chant of 'Die Null Muß Stehen', a popular Schalke slogan, begins among the coal-faced, long-haired faithful. This must have been what it was like to be a noble during the Reign of Terror, Hans thought. Unfortunately, this time he wouldn't be given the courtesy of having his head taken off in a single blow. It would take a few.
"Before we fulfill this sentence, cow, we should inform you that Markus Weinzierl has sanctioned this action, and he told us to tell you that he hopes you enjoy your room in bald hell."
Now Hans was hoping they'd get it over with.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the midnight hour is approaching. Please, turn your attention to the clock!"
Hans hadn't noticed the large clock in the back of the ballroom until now. It was white, set against the pitch-black coal wall. It read 11:59, with the second hand just fifteen ticks away from midnight.
The lion and bear raise their pickaxes above their head, ready to strike at the first toll of the clock's bell.
"Ten." The crowd chants out in harmony with the executioners. Hans closes his eyes.
"Nine." Hans thinks of his childhood in Endingen.
"Eight." Hans thinks of his first day training with Freiburg's senior side.
"Seven." Hans thinks of his high school days.
"Six." Hans thinks of his professional debut.
"Five." Hans thinks of the time he first met Sophie.
"Four." Hans thinks of the birth of his two sons.
"Three." Hans thinks of his final professional game, at Trabzonspor.
"Two." Hans thinks of the day he was appointed as Dortmund manager.
"One." Hans thinks of defeating Schalke 4-1 on the final day of the season, before the attack.
"Zero." Hans thinks of his family one last time, and how they would never see him again.
Then the lights cut out.
Then the ballroom erupts in explosions and screams, drowning out the clock's bells.
Whatever is making the noises is so loud that Hans, who can't believe he's still alive, drops to the floor and tries to cover his ears with his bound hands. He wriggles off the stage and falls face-first into a strange liquid. The explosions continue uninterrupted for minutes on end. Hans stays still, trying not to become a target of whatever new danger had presented itself. Eventually, he blocks out the noise and returns to the state he had during the countdown. He can still see his wife and sons smiling back at him. That's a good sign.

When the explosions stop and the lights turn back on, Hans doesn't want to open his eyes, but he knows he has to. He may still be in danger.
Instantly, he regrets that choice. They're all dead. The strange liquid he had fallen into was a pool of blood, and it's dripping off his face. Hans vomits immediately.
Not wanting to look ahead of him anymore, Hans twists his head back to the stage. The bear and lion are on the floor, with their pickaxes suspended in midair, as if they'd been frozen.
Frozen... in midair...
Hans turns his head again.
There they were. Standing on the mezzanine, machine guns in hand.
The talent men wave gleefully.

Hans doesn't speak in the Huracan. Out of rare respect, the talent men do not try to talk to him. All they had done was free him from his restraints, clean up his face, and escort him out of the mines, which were indeed connected by a system of tunnels to the VELTINS-Arena. Hans has no idea how they knew he was in danger, how they had found a way into the ballroom, or how exactly they had been able to save him. However, he does know he would probably be better off if Schalke's talent men had done their job.

They drop him off at the Signal Iduna, as he has no intention of showing them his home, even though he was sure the talent men already knew exactly where he lived. A taxi would have to do.
As he leaves the car, Che calls his attention, speaking words to him for the first time that night.
"Mr. Kaiser, do not forget these."
He grabs hold of two white cardboard boxes from Zezé, and holds them out the window.
It's the pizzas.
Hans, in complete bafflement, takes them.
"You should eat, sir. You have had long night. See you next season. If you need us, give the call."
The Huracan zips away into the night. Rain is still falling, soaking Hans and everything around him in seconds.
Hans opens the boxes. The pizzas are covered in blood. He throws them as far as he can, hopefully to the vultures.
No more takeout.

This concludes Season 3.
Thanks for reading.

[BoxToBox]

Bloody(quite literally) amazing!

[ManUtd1]

[oriole01]

41 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Bloody(quite literally) amazing!

Cheers!

34 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

I don't know if there's any hope that this story will have a happy ending.

[oriole01]

Borussia Dortmund
2019-20 Pre-Season

Predicted for second, up from last year. I'm not sure why Wolfsburg are still getting predicted for European spots considering they haven't been there once on this save, but they're ahead of the likes of Hamburg and Hoffenheim. Usual suspects in mid-table. Freiburg are seriously short-changed by being predicted for 14th. The two new promoted sides are projected to go down, but Ingolstadt and Nurnberg have the same odds.

Great pre-season. We went on a tour of Japan this summer, and were able to win all three games. Shouldn't have drawn to our affiliate Karlsruher, but that was the only questionable result. New signing Hasan Bay should catch the eye there with his goalscoring contributions.

Transfers

We'll start with outgoings, as always. Durm is gone, as after spending last season on loan in Austria I saw no place for him in the team. He's off to Hamburg, where he'll join fellow Dortmund expat Neven Subotic in defense. Kagawa had trouble getting a game a last season at AMC behind Amiri and Gotze, and when he did play, he was very poor. He's off to Mainz, a good destination at this stage in his career. I think I'll have to provide a lot of explanation for Aubameyang. At 30, he wasn't going to get any better ability-wise, and although he is absolutely brilliant, we have a lot of strikers on the come-up who need first-team football that couldn't be attained with Auba taking up our lone striker spot. Also, his wage demands started getting too high as numerous offers came in from the likes of Bayern and PSG. In the end, we were able to rake in $55 million off Real Madrid, who have been on a bit of a squad overhaul. Goodbye to Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, a club legend. I hope I've made the right decision.

Incomings. I already mentioned that the first four on that list would be coming back in January, and I'm delighted that they're here. Decio, Akbas, Alexandre, and Bay each bring a unique skillset to the club that I can't wait to see develop further. I sent the first three out on loan, but Bay did so well in the friendlies that I had to keep him around for the coming season, and could be a very threatening bench option behind Reus and OusCrane at right wing. Szukielowicz is only 15, so he's not on the same level as the others currently, but as we hardly have a natural DM in our youth team, I decided to snap him up for cheap.

The big signing is Sarr. This guy is a legit wonderkid, and could easily become the best defender at the club on paper by next season. However, I decided to include a loan-back deal with Nice in the transfer, so he can develop more and hopefully ease his transition to Dortmund. If he really need him, we can recall him, which is certainly an option I'm willing to execute.

Décio|Erdi Akbas|Sandro Alexandre|Hasan Bay|Krzysztof Szukielowicz|Malang Sarr

Let's not talk about what happened in the mines. Yeah, my personal life may be awful, but the team continues to improve each year with our shrewd youth signings. Despite the ambiguity of last season, the hype around here is as ferocious as ever. Even though there's some anger over the sale of Aubameyang, a very tough decision I made to solidify the youth-based focus of this club, the fans are very excited. I've been here for three years, and this will be my fourth season. The players know my tactics, they're very familiar with the level of play required to win in the Bundesliga and Europe, and most importantly, they have become a brotherhood through baldness. That's why I'm here, you know that.
After our first Pokal tie, we're off and running in the league against my boyhood club Freiburg, the side that would be closest to my heart if not for Dortmund. But make no mistake, we have to beat them. There will be no excuses for failure, especially not in the first game. We need to show our intent, and for the sake of all that is good and holy, we need to win the Champions League pretty damn soon, or else these maniacs I call associates will burn this club to the ground.
Los! Los! Los!

[BoxToBox]

7 hours ago, oriole01 said:

If he really need him, we can recall him, which is certainly an option I'm willing to execute.

If it was included as part of the transfer negotiations, I don't think you can.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

I can vouch for Sarr. Had him with Napoli on FM17 and he was quality. Very well-rounded.

[oriole01]

10 hours ago, BoxToBox said:

If it was included as part of the transfer negotiations, I don't think you can.

Damn, I guess you're right. I figured I would be able to like any other loan, but no.

1 hour ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

I can vouch for Sarr. Had him with Napoli on FM17 and he was quality. Very well-rounded.

Cheers! Always good to hear a word of recommendation.

[DavidBeckham]

Sarr is a fantastic signing who can not only play at left-back and is also perfect as the outside center-back of a back 3. I'm looking forward to see how he does for you

[oriole01]

5 hours ago, DavidBeckham said:

Sarr is a fantastic signing who can not only play at left-back and is also perfect as the outside center-back of a back 3. I'm looking forward to see how he does for you

Thank you David! I didn't know he was a primary left-back until after I signed him, as every scout report classified him as a CB. Hopefully I can train him to full suitability at both positions, then he'd be a really excellent player.

[oriole01]

Borussia Dortmund
August 2019

A perfect month with just one goal conceded. Excellent stuff from Nadiem Amiri, who scored in every game this month!

Before the Bundesliga started, we headed to the Polish border to play FC Frankfurt in the Pokal. We smashed them easily, with Isak bagging a brace and Almiron finally getting his first competitive goal for the club. We've drawn Dynamo Dresden in the Second Round, to be played in October. Please don't lose this time...

We started the league campaign with a win over Hans' first club Freiburg. The away side got the first big chance, with new signing Yussuf Poulsen breaking away for a one-on-one with Burki, but our man was able to tip over his attempted chip. We scored the first on 40, with Hasan Bay squaring one over to Amiri to rip it home. On 81, Omer Toprak would double the lead and seal victory with a thundering header from Amiri's corner delivery. A very good win to start out with.

Next up was a trip to Bavaria to face Ingolstadt. Amiri would get us off the mark again, volleying home an OusCrane cross from just in front of the penalty spot. However, the home side played us even, and they got their reward on 48 minutes from a brilliantly-taken Pascal Gross free kick. It looked like we would drop points to an evenly-matched side, but Marco Reus would find us a winner on 82, taking advantage of some shoddy marking to slip one by Orjan Nyland in the Ingolstadt net. A close game, but a good win.

We made it 3/3 for the third consecutive year against Köln. This time, it was all Amiri. On 21, he broke through a dense crowd of five opposing defenders to get into free space and slot home past the keeper. They did come close twice in rapid succession on 53, with one header hitting the bar and another flying just over from close range. But Amiri kept going, as on 62, he dropped one in from a clever Isak cutback to make it two. We cruised after that to claim all three points. I'm very happy that I've beaten Koln, as they have been an utter pain in the neck in the last few meetings.

Table

Hoffenheim are top on goals scored. I'm pretty surprised that Bremen are on 9 points, even if they have played some weaker teams to start. Also surprised to see Bayern drop points, as they're always very strong early on. Union have started their first-ever Bundesliga season well, but the same can't be said for Braunschweig. Schalke have also been poor early on, but the same thing happened last season, when they finished 4th.

Champions League Draw

Well, I couldn't really ask for a better group. Sporting were probably the weakest top seed, and Ajax were one of the weaker third seeds. Olympiakos shouldn't be any trouble either. We need to finish top of this group.

Elsewhere, Groups B and D look really interesting, United get a criminally easy group, and RIP to Maccabi Tel Aviv and Rapid Wien .

Next month sees a Ruhr Derby and our first CL match against Ajax.
Los! Los! Los!

Edited April 11, 2018 by oriole01

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

I don't want to jinx anything (and you can blame me if things go wrong ) but I have a gut feeling that this is your year to win the Bundesliga. Especially now that the talent men have got Carlo Ancelotti out of the picture.

[oriole01]

Borussia Dortmund
2019/20 Squad/Tactical Review
So I feel like I owe you guys a full squad and tactic review, which is something I haven't done since the start of the save. There's been quite a few changes to the team since then, with the most consequential move being the sale of Aubameyang this summer. Also, some younger players who had previously been on loan or in the reserves have made a step up this season, so I wanted to show you them in detail for the first time as well. Let's get started.

Goalkeepers

Roman Burki is our main keeper- one who has served us very well since the start of the save. Still in his prime at 28 years old, he should be at the very least in a rotation for the rest of this save. However, Predrag Rajkovic will give him a run for his money. Currently our cup goalkeeper, the Serbian international has hardly had a poor performance in any of his games so far, and could possibly force himself into a rotation with Burki for league games as well. Considering the quality of these two, I see no need to shop for any keeper above the youth level.

Full Backs

At right back, Mario Fernandes is first choice. After struggling in his first season here, he was one of our best defenders last season and was a consistent, reliable option on the right. Felix Passlack will be the one trying to change that this season. The 21-year-old has enormous potential, and will inevitably become the starter at some point. Although he didn't have the best of times last season, he has continued to develop and should be better this time out. Lukas Piszczek is still on the payroll at the age of 34 because of his loyalty to the club, and although I could loan him out like I did last season, I want to keep him so he can make the odd appearance, or in the case of an injury crisis.

At left back, Raphael Guerreiro is first choice. He has been absolutely outstanding on this save, and should be here for the rest of the journey. Consistent, well-rounded, and young, he'd be a great player for any club. Marcel Schmelzer is our backup, but he's shown himself to be just as good as Guerreiro at times. A much better defensive player than the Portuguese international, I think he still has multiple good seasons left in him. If he declines for any reason, Malang Sarr will be slotting in next season to immediately bolster the left back ranks.

Center Backs

Dortmund captain Sokratis is the only CB who can be considered first choice, as the other three are all equal in my mind.
The Greek international has been consistently brilliant on this save, and rarely has a poor stretch. I'm determined to bring him the Champions League he deserves for his excellent service to this club. Bartra and Engels are our two ball-playing defenders who go tit for tat in the first team every week. Both have had some good seasons on this save, and it would take a lot of money for me to sell them. Toprak has probably been the most consistent so far- he's never finished with an average rating below 7 in any competition. Although he's now 30, I have no plans to sell him. Another great defensive player with a headed goal threat, I'm happy that he's along for the ride. We have plenty of young CBs outside the first team that could slot in should any of these guys decline.

Central Midfielders/Defensive Midfielders

Rode and Castro are my typical CM pairing, but any one of these guys are good enough to start at any given time.
Rode has probably been the most underrated contributor on this save so far, but he took a step back last season, dropping from a 7.18 average rating to a 6.95. Still, he's our best defense-minded midfielder, and someone I'm willing to give a second chance to. Gonzalo Castro's been solid on the save, but at 32 he's going to start declining soon. I'm not sure how long I can keep him before he's dead weight. Hopefully enough to get him a trophy or two. Despite all the hype surrounding Julian Weigl IRL, I've not been convinced on this save. He hasn't had a season average rating above 7 so far, but he has slightly improved each year. He doesn't score as many goals as he should, and has been too average to justify his wages. I have him listed, in the hope I can do a player exchange for another, more talented CM. I was close to selling Sven Bender after the first season, but he's shown me why he deserves a place in the team.  A good backup option with some amazing attributes, he should stay on as long as he can play. Mikel Merino has been out on loan up until this point, but he's ready for his chance. I've hardly seen him in action at all on this save, so I don't know what exactly to expect from him, but the attributes look good. Miguel Almiron hasn't quite been the signing I expected- he just finally got his first goal for the club after a year and a half- but I am starting to see encouraging things. At 25, he might not have too much room to improve, but he's the sort of decent depth player that every squad needs. We'll have to see if he can stay going forward.

Central Attacking Midfielders

After selling Shinji Kagawa, only these two remain as primary CAMs. I've been searching for a third option all summer, but no one has quite fit what I'm looking for.
Nadiem Amiri is one of Germany's best young talents, and based on his performances in August, this could truly be his breakout season. He has become first choice for now, and is definitely going to be here until the end of the save. Mario Gotze is a strange case, a world-class player on paper, (he scored a World Cup-winning goal, after all!)  but just decent in practice. The attributes are all there, but his goal output has been shockingly low on this save and he is prone to extended stretches of mediocrity. That's probably why Bayern let him go. What does redeem him, however, is his ability to create chances and move with the ball. He was able to contribute 10 assists last season, which is a nice figure, and his passing is usually on target. If only he could score more goals, then I wouldn't have as many reservations. A rotation player right now, but he could become the starter again if he finds form.

Wingers

On the right wing, it's near impossible to choose between Marco Reus and Ousmane "OusCrane" Dembele on a game-to-game basis, as they're both amazing players. Reus has been consistently great, and last season was his best across all competitions, bagging 7 goals and 8 assists. I can't believe he's already 30, but I'm going to put that to the side when assessing his talent, as he's still got more than enough to compete at the highest level for multiple seasons to come. Dembele has wanted out of Dortmund for over a year now, but there's no way I can let him go by my own accord, considering how awesome a player he is. Always a threat to score or play a killer ball, he's someone with tremendous talent and potential. Even if he doesn't develop any further, he could be a key player here for years if he drops his concerns. Hasan Bay made the first team squad on the back of a brilliant pre-season run, and I think he can contribute right away. Although he'll obviously be behind the other two, he will be a credible threat off the bench should I need someone to make a quick impact. If he develops technically and mentally, he'll be the next Dortmund superstar.

On the left wing, the undisputed first choice is the future of American soccer, Christian Pulisic. With Aubameyang now gone, let's chalk him up as our best player. Words can't fully make someone understand how breathtaking this kid is, as he has risen from the small-town banality of Hershey, Pennsylvania, to global football stardom in just four years. With simply incredible skill, intelligence, and maturity for a 20 (soon to be 21) year old, you're looking at the face of Borussia Dortmund for what should be a long, long time. With the rise of Pulisic, Andre Schurrle has had to take a back seat. There's no doubt he's still quality at this level, but he's getting older and his form took a drop last season, going from a 7.12 to a 6.95 in all comps, with an even greater drop in league games exclusively. I'll try to work him in as much as possible this season, but I might have to consider letting him go if he's not up to standard. His job will be made even harder by the addition of Jacob Bruun Larsen to the senior squad. The young Dane is another player who I've loaned out in past seasons, but he is more than ready for a first team place. With very well-rounded attributes, he should be a great backup option this season, and his role can only keep getting more important in the future. The best part about him? He can play on both wings, which effectively doubles his value to this squad.

Strikers

Well, this is the area I most wanted to show. The sale of Aubameyang has left a massive power vacuum that I'm counting on at least one of these guys to fill.
Richarlison has been quietly superb on this save, as he notched 15 goals last season, most of which came when Auba was injured or off form. He doesn't have to hide in anyone's shadow anymore, however, as he is the most experienced of the three up for the starting striker job. Although he might not have much further potential and his attributes aren't the sexiest, he does a striker's most important job well enough to justify his place- score the ball. Alex Isak is finally getting the first team football he deserves, as he had only got brief tastes of it before at Dortmund. Although he'll have to do well to take over from Richarlison in the starting lineup, he'll be an important rotation player at the very least that I can trust to score goals. Coming off a loan spell at Freiburg in which he scored 16 goals, there is reason to be extremely confident that he will be our striker of the future. The attributes and the potential are there, so now he just needs to go out and do it. Piero Scaramuzzino is the wild card in this squad- someone I'm not really sure how to fit into the side, but someone with some absolutely cracking potential and current ability. Just look at that finishing... that would make any club swoon. At 18, he's got plenty of time to find his place, so my only concern is that he may run out of patience rather than me. Hopefully it'll all work out, but if it doesn't, we'll survive.

Also, the guy just scored this goal for Italy's U21s....
Holy ****.

Final Thoughts
This is a very good squad, one that has the potential to win trophies, but we just need a certain consistency to get there, one that's been lacking these past three seasons. With the amount of present and future young talent we have at the club (there are so many great young guys in the reserves or out on loan that I didn't even mention here), we are built to win the Champions League sooner rather than later. I can't wait to do it, and repay each and every one of these fantastic players for their hard work and loyalty.

Tactics

Here are my two tactics, complete with a Best XI for each.
The first formation is one I've stuck with since the very beginning, and has won us oodles of games since. It may be a pretty basic 4-2-3-1, but it works very well and balances all of our squad's talents nicely. Scores us a lot of goals, but could do better in the defensive department.

The second formation has been slightly tweaked since the beginning, thanks to the suggestions of @BoxToBox, and I think it has worked pretty well so far. It used to have one CM and one DM, but now it's two DMs. This deep-lying pairing serves as extra protection for our back line and also as a launchpad for counter attacks. I've used it exclusively against strong attacking sides such as Bayern, Leverkusen, Leipzig, etc. in the past, but I think I'm going to start using it for every away game this season, as that's where we're most prone to dropping points. That way, we can hope to nab one or two goals on the counter whilst also staying firm at the back. If it ever fails, we can switch to the first formation to get back into the game.

I've been looking for a third formation that could possibly combine the strengths of both of these tactics for a while now, but my attempts haven't yielded much good. If any of you have a suggestion for a new formation or for improving these current ones, leave a comment and I might just give it a try. Your contributions are always appreciated!

Alright, I've typed way too much in my normal, non-italicized voice. Time to get back to the craziness .
Los! Los! Los!

[oriole01]

3 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

I don't want to jinx anything (and you can blame me if things go wrong ) but I have a gut feeling that this is your year to win the Bundesliga. Especially now that the talent men have got Carlo Ancelotti out of the picture.

Thank you FFA! When you look at the squad review I just posted above, there's no doubt we have the talent to win the league and more, it's just a matter of consistently executing from August until May. Carlo leaving certainly helps, as I don't think Rui Vitoria will have quite as much success with Bayern as he did, but that's still an extremely talented, tough-as-nails squad that he's working with. It'll still be an enormous task to try and beat them.

As far as jinxes go, as long as you don't post The GIF That Shall Not Be Named, you'll be fine. We've already seen that backfire once in here .

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

7 hours ago, oriole01 said:

As far as jinxes go, as long as you don't post The GIF That Shall Not Be Named, you'll be fine. We've already seen that backfire once in here .

Aye, I've been on the wrong end of it as well. Posting that gif in regards to a transfer on r/reddevils is considering a bannable offence. Truly the cursed gif.

[BoxToBox]

12 hours ago, oriole01 said:

If any of you have a suggestion for a new formation or for improving these current ones, leave a comment and I might just give it a try.

One thing you might try, though it's successful, the defensive issues with the first system could be down to your CM partnership. You have an AP(s) who wants to move forward, and a BWM(s) who'll roam and close down. Leaving your midfield quite open to being ran through, especially on the counter when your AP is forward and your BWM supporting the attack.

I'd consider maybe changing to a DLP(s)/CM(d) pairing or a DLP(d)/BWM(either) pair. Maybe something to experiment with in friendlies.

[oriole01]

6 hours ago, BoxToBox said:

One thing you might try, though it's successful, the defensive issues with the first system could be down to your CM partnership. You have an AP(s) who wants to move forward, and a BWM(s) who'll roam and close down. Leaving your midfield quite open to being ran through, especially on the counter when your AP is forward and your BWM supporting the attack.

I'd consider maybe changing to a DLP(s)/CM(d) pairing or a DLP(d)/BWM(either) pair. Maybe something to experiment with in friendlies.

Thanks BTB, that's some interesting insight. I tried the DLP/BWM pairing in a league match and we got a 1-0 victory, so not bad at all. To be fair, an AP was kind of unnecessary in that formation considering it already has a pretty substantial attacking focus, but I was just using it because that's the role most of our midfielders are best at. I'll be comparing what I had before to the new concept this season, so the results should show you how it's coming along.

[kidthekid]

Great squad and nice tactics.  Surprised Richarlison is playing well despite the average attributes.

If you do change to a DLP, don't worry if their ratings are lower than the AP, the match engine has a formula for rating players that gives more weight to dribbles, goals, tackles, assists etc and less so on passing completion.  So a better way is to look at their stats as opposed to their ratings.

[oriole01]

The Ruhr Derby- Chapter Sieben
"A Feeling Deeper Than Hate"
Bundesliga Week Five- The Pre-Game
The Entrance- VELTINS-Arena
Hans Kaiser really didn't want to be heading back to the VELTINS-Arena so soon. Not after he had quasi-authorized a terrorist attack on the stadium at the previous Ruhr Derby... and the small matter that he was seconds away from being gruesomely executed not too far from here a couple of months ago. He didn't know what to expect from Markus Weinzierl, who had more or less signed his death warrant in that latter incident, but he had come prepared for the worst. The entire Dortmund security department was armed and ready for battle, and they were all by Hans' side as he and his squad stepped off the team bus and entered the stadium.

Hans feels ready for anything with his security detail in tow, but as soon as they step foot in the VELTINS, an army of blue-uniformed Schalke guards converge from all angles, surrounding them immediately. Hans' men draw their weapons in response, and the Smurfs do the same. Just as it appears as if a Mexican standoff is imminent, Markus Weinzierl's voice diffuses the scene.
"Stand down!" he calls out towards his legion. "I wish to see Hans Kaiser in my suite, unaccompanied!"
"No way!" Hans shouts back. "You're going to have to let my security in there too!"
Weinzierl budges through the wall of guards and comes into Hans' view. What surprises Hans is that he's clean-shaven again, the wildly long hair and enormous beard gone. 
"Fine! We'll split the security. Three of my men, three of yours."
Markus gestures towards three of his guards to stand next to him. Hans does the same. Unfortunately, his best man Fabian Schulz was out sick, so the men he selects have no personal connection with him whatsoever. When they're ready, Hans speaks.
"Okay Markus, I don't know what you're getting onto here, but if you try something, I think you know you can expect serious consequences."
"That's fine. But you need to come with me, right now."
"Alright..." Hans concedes reluctantly. He calls to his players behind him to head to the locker room and wait for him there. If he ever returned, that is...

The Manager's Suite
Needless to say, the elevator ride to Markus' suite was a bit awkward. A man who had ordered the other's assassination and the other who had eradicated that man's entire inner circle were standing right next to each other, surrounded by emotionless guards, listening to an instrumental version of "The Girl from Ipanema" as the lift barreled up the four stories to its destination. The doors open, and they step out.

One could say that Weinzierl had a spectacular private suite. Although he only used it to watch friendlies and youth matches, it was kept well maintained. A full kitchen finished with polished wood, several expensive chairs surrounding raised round tables, an enormous flat-screen TV, and floor-to-ceiling windows providing a panoramic view of the arena were just some of the amenities on hand. Through the windows could be seen thousands of Smurfs in the stands, each one of them absolutely outraged at Dortmund's sweep of their beloved Schalke the previous season. They were ready for revenge. Yet Hans was worried about a different kind of revenge from Markus, the presence of his security in the room doing nothing to dissuade his fears.

Kaiser and Weinzierl sit down at a table just in front of the window, whilst the guards stand rigid next to the elevator. On the table is a blank piece of paper and a pen.
"Okay Hans, I think we know why we're here."
"Do we?" Hans mutters sarcastically.
"I think we can say things have escalated to an... unacceptable level over the past year. This rivalry has gone too far astray from football, to places it should never have gone."
"And whose fault is that, Markus?" Hans growls.
"Yours!"
"No! None of the things that have happened have been under my authorization! I have these... associates who have been causing me some problems recently. If you want someone to blame, look at them, not me. In the meantime, I'd like you to address the fact that you tried to *whispers* assassinate me! You should have known the consequences if you were gonna try and pull something that stupid."
Markus looks confused.
"Assassinate? Hans... I didn't authorize that either. If someone told you that, it was untrue. These two crazy ****ers from Hesse went absolutely ballistic after the incident, and they didn't tell me anything about their plans that night. So I think I've had a situation similar to yours."
Hans began to wonder exactly how many football clubs employed disobedient costumed murderers; he certainly thought his was the only one beforehand. If Markus was telling the truth, of course.
"Look, don't think for a second that I don't consider you an awful human being, Hans, 'associates' or no, and I will never forgive you for some of the things you've done, but now is the time to bury the hatchet. Too many innocent people have been roped into this now. Let's bring this back to football, where it is meant to be."
Markus flips over the sheet of paper on the table, revealing a contract with an empty line next to Hans' name. He clicks the pen and offers it to Hans, but Hans isn't convinced.
"A contract? How could I possibly trust you with this?" He had already made one extraordinary backfire with a secret contract before, and he wasn't prepared to make one again.
"Please Hans, I need you to see sense here. I think we can agree that this has gone too far. This contract will ensure hostilities end."
Hans wishes he could sign on the dotted line, but two things nag at him. One, he couldn't trust Markus to hold up his end of the truce. Two, he was almost certain the talent men wouldn't honor it, either. If they broke the contract, there would surely be hell to pay.
"Well, sorry Markus, but I can't sign this, and there's not much you can do to make me sign it. See you on the touchline."
Hans gets up to leave, but Markus' hand immediately shoots out like a viper's fangs to grab him by the arm. He pulls Kaiser closer, the latter's right ear just inches from the former's mouth. Markus whispers his next sentence, so none of the guards could hear.
"I've tried to play this real nice, Hans, but you're not leaving this room without giving me that signature."
"Oh yeah? What's making me?" Hans snaps back at full volume.
"Well, in addition to the three guards in this room who I know could take out yours in an instant, I've got about ten snipers with your damned bald head in their crosshairs right now. This is going to end, right now."
Those weren't exactly words that made one feel they had a choice in the matter. Seeing no way out, Hans takes the pen from Markus' hand, then lets out a protracted sigh.
"Well Markus, I hope you know I'm not doing this by my own free will, but I sure hope I can trust you to hold up your end of the bargain."
"Considering recent events, I think it's you that I'm going to have trouble trusting."
"Mhm." Hans mutters.
After he's read the contract, Hans reluctantly signs it. He grabs his guards and leaves the suite, resuming match day activities as normal as soon as he's back on the ground floor.
Did he want peace? Yes. Would it actually happen? Definitely not.
His associates would make sure of that.

Los! Los! Los!

[oriole01]

The Ruhr Derby- Chapter Sieben
"A Feeling Deeper Than Hate"
Bundesliga Week Five- The Post-Game

Well, that was pretty bad. They've well and truly gotten revenge for last season. Things started off poorly on just 5 minutes, as new signing Francisco Geraldes buried one into the top right corner with his first touch from the edge of the area. Near half time, an ambiguous penalty was given to Schalke after Nadiem Amiri was whistled for what looked like a dive by Max Meyer. Another new signing, Danilo Cataldi, stepped up to slot home the spot kick. The worst of them all came on 54 minutes, as Timo Werner's post-bound header was banged in by former Dortmund player Matthias Ginter from close range. We had almost no attacking fight throughout the match, although OusCrane nearly pulled one back from a long range effort in stoppage time. A horrible loss to our rivals which is sure to deflate the Kahle Armee.
So I'm pretty mad at Matthias Ginter. Here's his history since I sold him in the first season:

Spoiler

 

So we sold him in January to Man City for a fee that I should have tried to increase further. Almost immediately after he signed, he blew his ligaments and didn't play for them at all in 16/17(the game didn't even add a record for him for the second half of that season, it just jumps to the next). He appeared 23 times in total in 17/18, and got an awful 6.66 average rating in all comps. In 18/19, City didn't even play him in the league, restricting him to 6 domestic cup appearances. Yet that somehow got him a winter move to PSG, albeit for a loss, where he did slightly better than the previous year in 14 appearances. He started out well this season for them, but got sold again to the Smurfs for another loss. And now he has a 7.83 average rating and has scored against his former club for their rivals . What a last few years he's had...

 

 

Maybe it isn't.

[ManUtd1]

I was going to say, Che and company aren't going to like this...

[oriole01]

On 3/23/2018 at 23:53, kidthekid said:

Great squad and nice tactics.  Surprised Richarlison is playing well despite the average attributes.

If you do change to a DLP, don't worry if their ratings are lower than the AP, the match engine has a formula for rating players that gives more weight to dribbles, goals, tackles, assists etc and less so on passing completion.  So a better way is to look at their stats as opposed to their ratings.

Thanks man! Richarlison has more than what meets the eye, but unfortunately he's been playing poorly in this new season. Good points on the DLP, as long as we keep clean sheets I won't be too bothered by average rating.

57 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

I was going to say, Che and company aren't going to like this...

Most definitely not! 

[kidthekid]

Ah I missed Che, great to have him back.

[oriole01]

1 hour ago, kidthekid said:

Ah I missed Che, great to have him back.

Who wouldn't love this guy?

So much warmth in those eyes...

[ManUtd1]

8 minutes ago, oriole01 said:

Who wouldn't love this guy?

So much warmth in those eyes...

All the better to see you with...

[oriole01]

Borussia Dortmund
September 2019

A condensed month, and one we didn't look too great in. We had trouble winning games, and when we did, it was by the thinnest of margins. Selling Aubameyang may have to be seen as poor judgement, as our strikers have just three goals between them so far, and only one in league play.

We started out after the international break with another heartbreaking loss against Hertha. There was hardly a real chance in this match, but we played them even away from home and looked to be getting a point. Yet for the third consecutive meeting against them, tragedy struck late. On 89, a complete inability to tackle Daniel Caligiuri on the right wing led to a cross for Sandro Ramirez, who raked home the ensuing volley from just outside the six-yard-box. Unlucky, but there was no way we should have been so poor in attack.

The attacking woes continued in our first CL match against Ajax, as we played out a bore draw at home. The Dutchmen outshot us, but we had nearly as many shots on target and we won possession. There were absolutely no chances to speak of in this game, which has me worried about our prospects this season.

We then pulled out a win over Stuttgart at home. Piero Scaramuzzino nearly had a goal from a free kick early on, but his shot slammed against the post. Following a sloppy turnover right in front of the net on 53, Andre Schurrle somehow conspired to miss his one-on-one shot from ten yards out, eliciting rightful groans from everyone in the crowd. Yet we would finally score from an unlikely source in the 68th, as Marcel Schmelzer cracked in a header off Marco Reus' corner. Stuttgart put a bit of pressure on late, but we held on to the 1-0 victory and the three points.

See above for our Ruhr Derby loss against Schalke.

We finished the month with another tight win over Bremen. We didn't play particularly well here up front here either, but Richarlison's goal on 19 minutes proved the difference. The Brazilian finished a masterful Reus cross from close range to send us ahead, and Bremen never looked like threatening that lead. We completely shut them down, allowing only three shots and one on target, as well as a healthy lead in possession. A decent result, but I really want to see us be more convincing going forward.

Tables

We're staying afloat in the league thanks to some dropped points from our title rivals. Leverkusen have drawn two straight after winning their first five, whilst Bayern are still unbeaten but are prone to dropping points as well. Hoffenheim and Freiburg continue good results from last season, while Hertha have started above expectations and Hamburg below them. Leipzig and Schalke haven't started too hot, either, although the latter did just smoke us head-to-head. Union have continued credible form, but Braunschweig are struggling alongside Nurnberg at the foot of the table.

In the CL, Sporting beat Olympiakos, so they head top for the moment being.

Next month sees a lighter league schedule, matches against Olympiakos and Sporting in the CL, and our second round Pokal fixture. Hopefully we'll find some more goals.
Los! Los! Los!

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

Just took a proper look at the squad review. I think Rajkovic should be first choice to be honest. Maybe Burki has been solid for you, but Rajkovic seems better attribute wise. Also, I'm not that convinced by Castro as a playmaker. 13 passing and 14 vision isn't ideal for a side looking for silverware. I'd probably look to start Merino ahead of him. 

Decent start to the season. I don't think Bayern will be the same beast this season and you're probably as good as/better than Leverkusen so you're in with a good shout.

[oriole01]

5 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

Just took a proper look at the squad review. I think Rajkovic should be first choice to be honest. Maybe Burki has been solid for you, but Rajkovic seems better attribute wise.

Yeah, Burki is ahead of Rajkovic by reason of stats. He made the Bundesliga Team of the Season last year as the best goalkeeper, and he has continued to be very good in this new season. As I suggested in the review, Rajkovic could certainly force himself into a more rotational system this season, and I think that's already starting to happen. In addition to playing in all cup games, he's starting to make league appearances as well, and before long it could be a fully rotational system where they alternate starts every game.

5 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

Also, I'm not that convinced by Castro as a playmaker. 13 passing and 14 vision isn't ideal for a side looking for silverware. I'd probably look to start Merino ahead of him. 

That's already looking like the trend. Merino and Rode have been our best CMs so far, so that's definitely a possibility for a consistent starting duo throughout the season. I'm still pretty big on rotation though, if one guy has a bad game another one will step in, and so on.

5 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

Decent start to the season. I don't think Bayern will be the same beast this season and you're probably as good as/better than Leverkusen so you're in with a good shout.

Thanks, we've been great defensively (the Ruhr Derby being the only exception so far) but I can't help but be concerned about the attacking. I just have to hope one of our guys can find form sooner rather than later and start consistently producing, as the void left by Aubameyang is a massive one to fill. If that happens, we could certainly be in contention till the very end.

[oriole01]

And now for something completely different.
Salta, Argentina
Chapter Uno: El Principio
Noon. November 23, 1987.
The sun burns all. The desert city of Salta feels like Hephaestus' forge in the summer months, making water an absolute necessity for its sweltering citizens. One such citizen, a schoolboy about ten years old, sips his sustenance from an old military canteen as he sits atop a low wall in his school's courtyard, eating his lunch alone. Ah, sweet solitude. This was something the boy could only enjoy at school, as at home, his life was characterized by a constant grapple against a raucous brood of younger siblings for the ever-changing favor of their mother and father. Life could get hectic there. Here, he could enjoy his food, his water, and the sights and sounds of a city on fire in peace. Dozens of cars and trucks wade through traffic on a nearby avenue. Sunglasses-wearing pedestrians walk up and down the street, many of them carrying as many bottles of water as they could possibly hold. The boy's classmates play hopscotch, basketball, and of course football around him, but he does not partake, even though he could easily play each. He prefers his moment in the sun, away from all else and in his own world. Yet that world shatters as soon a football clobbers him in the face.

The boy falls off the wall, crashing onto the cobblestone pavement below. Through the immediate disorientation and throbbing pain, he can hear an uproar of laughter from many of the children in the courtyard. They were always a rather cruel bunch, especially the older football players. The boy's natural solitary disposition at school made him an easy target for them, and some sort of mistreatment would take shape every day, ranging from pranks to name-calling to straight-up physical attacks. Most couldn't care less if the boy was alright after he was hit. They had their ball back, after all. But one boy with long brown hair ventures over the wall. The victim is still on the ground, so the new boy helps him up.
"Sorry, José. That Luis can't kick for ****, you know."
"Yeah..." José says quietly, trying not to get roped into a conversation with someone he knew wasn't sincere. He knew the boy he was talking to, as he was always in the background when the others were giving him a hard time.
"Come on, play with us! You've already played a header there, after all."
They both chuckle lightly.
"No, I don't like to play." José responds after his brief moment of levity.
"Aw, come on, just for a few minutes! We're short a player today, you can fill in!"
José thinks for a few moments, still avoiding eye contact with the other boy.
"Okay.. just for a few."
"Great! Let's go."
They hop back over the wall, and onto the hallowed cobblestone arena. With no real nets, water bottles were used to mark the area in which the keepers stood.
"Restart!" the long-haired boy cries out. He then whispers to José. "Take the right wing. This is where we're missing someone."

José loved football, but he still felt quite out of place. Against the taller, stronger boys, he wasn't remotely comfortable. Any time he touched the ball, at least two of them would converge to tackle him immediately. Yet his hidden competitive spirit broke through eventually. As the game went on, José ran faster, dribbled with more determination, and defended more assertively. His time on the pitch was no longer restricted to "just a few minutes". Against the dirty looks of the boys who had always looked down on him, he was now an integral part of the kick-about. Five goals later, he was its hero.

When the game ends, the other boys are in complete shock. The loner, the loser who ate alone every day, had properly kicked their ***. José's small stature and speed had torn them to shreds. His previously unknown grit and competitive drive had melted their reckless, aggressive style of play like the summer sun above. As recess ends and the students disperse to drink their water and head back to class, the long-haired boy runs over to José with a big smile on his face. Now, José actually looks at him, as he had only bothered to stare at the ground when talking before. He had taken off his River Plate football jersey, and now wears a black shirt with a cartoon crocodile plastered across its front. The text read, "Benito's Crocodile Ranch". He now holds a small electric guitar, which appears to be his most prized possession. José could tell just by the way he held it.
"That was amazing, man!" The crocodile boy exclaims in genuine awe.
"Yeah, I guess so." José says with an initial stubborn reluctance, but by the end of the brief sentence, he's smiling.
"You're playing with us every day now! We would never have picked on you if we knew you were this good! See you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, sure."
The crocodile boy walks away, loudly strumming on his guitar as he goes. Yet before he disappears, José, now tantalized by the prospect of a new friendship, calls out toward him.
"Hey, what's your name?"
The crocodile boy turns around with a strange look on his face. José's mind contorts immediately. Had he said something wrong there? Did the other boy not want his name to be known? Was that unacceptable in the footballers' code of ethics?

The confusion dissipates just seconds later, as the strange look on the crocodile boy's face reverts back to a smile again.
"My name? It's Zezé Santiago, at your service."

This is where José's true life begins.

[oriole01]

Borussia Dortmund
October 2019

Damn. Not the best month. Two shock defeats, but at the very least we have finally advanced beyond the second round (!) in the Pokal. Sorry about the incoming text wall!

The first upset was a CL loss to Olympiakos. This was a shocking performance from us, as we were outshot, outpossessed, and made an obscene number of mistakes against the weakest team in the group. Brown Ideye missed a big chance early on, but Jan Baranek notched their first goal on 30, heading Jano Ananidze's cross into the roof of the net. We would equalize on 44. A well-worked counter resulted in Miguel Almiron slotting home his second-ever Dortmund goal. The Greeks would strike next, however, as Ideye atoned for his earlier miss by guiding a half-volley beyond the reach of Predrag Rajkovic. Some more good chances from the opposition made things look bleak, but we were granted a lifeline on 83, when Alex Isak was tripped in the box for a penalty. Andre Schurrle converted it to put us level again. He nearly gave us the lead just moments after the restart, but he cracked his curved shot off the bar. Sadly, Olympiakos were not done, as a quick break on 87 led to Roger scoring from the edge of the area. Despite the high temperature of the match, we could not find a third equalizer and left Athens with a stomach-turning defeat.

Yet we responded extremely well against Wolfsburg, as we made it seven wins in seven matches against the Wolves in emphatic style. Marco Reus got us started early, as on 5 minutes he cut inside the box past three defenders and fired the ball into the bottom left. Trademark inside forward goal! He would then double the lead on 25, as Nadiem Amiri used his excellent awareness to shift the ball over to Marco for a wide open finish. Amiri would then get onto the scoresheet for himself on 49, as he stung a Reus delivery into the bottom-right corner. Christian Pulisic would score our final goal on 61, taking an Amiri through ball and applying a professional finish to put us up four. Despite being outshot, this was another impressive domination of Wolfsburg, who seemingly have no answer to baldness.

The second upset was a brutal FMing by Braunschweig. I couldn't have seen this coming against a team who were second-bottom entering the match, but a valiant defensive performance combined with a red card for us gave them their chance. Marian Prinz looked invincible throughout the match, making massive saves on Jacob Bruun Larsen and Richarlison to keep the score at 0-0. However, the mood of the game swung when Sebastian Rode was sent off for a second yellow on 69, although it looked extremely harsh upon replay. Things looked to be heading to a draw by 89 minutes, but with their first real chance of the game, Braunschweig struck. A free kick was flicked onto the back post by Mirko Boland, and Gustav Valsvik was there to volley it past Roman Burki in net. We couldn't find a way back. A deflating loss that has to be considered unlucky.

We then got pummeled by Sporting in the CL. Rajkovic made a big save on Kasper Dolberg early, but they would get their lead on 33. Off a corner, Bas Dost headed the ball onto Fabio Cardoso at the back post, who in turn guided in the header for 1-0. Definite flashbacks to Braunschweig were abound after that. Their second would come just after the second half restart, as Gelson Martins crossed it onto Dolberg to score from close range. We showed little attacking resolve, and slumped to another worrying European defeat.

But in a strong parallel to the Wolfsburg match, we responded with a big win over Mainz in the league. Things started poorly for them, as Matthias Ostrzolek was sent off on 22 for a dangerous tackle on Ousmane Dembele. The floodgates would open up after that. Amiri banged in a free kick on 41, then Piero Scaramuzzino would double the lead just two minutes later, albeit with a shot their keeper should have saved. Mainz would claw back into it on 69, as a dumbfounding premature dive from Burki ensured Marvin Bakalorz had a simple finish. We would erase that error by reasserting our dominance late. On 80, a Reus cross found Bruun Larsen at the back post, who tapped in for his first league goal for Dortmund. Then in added time, an unbelievable event happened. Amiri's corner was flicked on by Omer Toprak to the back post, where none other than Sokratis was there to bang home the finish. It's his first goal in any competition on the save, even friendlies. I never thought I'd see the day our Greek talisman would score, but he's arrived at the back of the net, and everyone had better be scared now . Excellent bounce-back for us.

I couldn't be more relieved to end the month with a Pokal victory over 2. Bundesliga side Dynamo Dresden. As I mentioned above, this is the first time in four seasons we have advanced beyond the second round in the DFB-Pokal. After a couple of close chances in the first half, we were awarded a penalty on 47, albeit the harshest and most incorrect I have ever seen, as there was absolutely no contact on Rode and he didn't even go to ground either. I suppose justice was done when Mikel Merino missed it, his shot going right down the middle and saved easily. Thankfully, we would score a fair goal just six minutes later, when a great Pulisic ball found our young Turkish phenom Hasan Bay on the right wing to slide it in. Although Dresden were being dominated, they found a way to score on 75, as Jannik Muller fired home an equalizer following a scramble from a free kick. Yet with extra time approaching, we found our hero in Bay. A brilliant Lukas Piszczek ball split a slow-moving defensive line, allowing Bay to run free on goal and coolly knock the ball beyond the reach of their keeper in the ensuing one-on-one. The 19-year-old's brace represents his first two competitive goals in a black and yellow jersey. Of course we had to leave it late, but I don't really mind. Just happy to finally advance to the third round .

Tables

In the league, we're doing alright, but the loss to Braunschweig damaged us. Leverkusen are still unbeaten and atop the league. Needless to say, our next match against them will be crucial. Bayern have recorded their first league loss, but have started strongly under Rui Vitoria so far. Leipzig have snuck back into the reckoning despite two losses last month. They're being accompanied by several other clubs in the race for EL football so far, but that race will thin out by Christmas. Both promoted clubs are currently clear of the drop, as Braunschwig won again after our game to lift themselves out of the zone. Hamburg have had a horrible start considering their performances in previous seasons, although it's rather true to real life at the moment. Koln have been equally poor, and Nurnberg are in big trouble already.

In the CL, we are doing properly awful. I can't seem to figure out why we are so poor in this competition. We have the quality, but the occasion of a CL match seems to turn everyone to mush. Two seasons ago, we were eliminated from a difficult group that included Atletico and Monaco. This time, we are the worst team in the worst group in the competition, with four points already separating us from second place. Even if we win all the remaining games, we'll be on 10 points, which might not be good enough to advance. We really have to knuckle down and get our **** together here, or else I will be fearing for my job.
Lastly, we drew Koln in the Pokal Third Round, to be played in December. If they're still on poor form then, we should beat them, but if they're on good form, we could be in for a classic Koln-Dortmund upset here .

Next month sees two CL ties away from home, and some tricky matches in the league against leaders Leverkusen and a strong Hoffenheim side.
Los! Los! Los!

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

You're doing fairly well in the league. Get that win against Leverkusen and you'll be right back in title contention. You're also ahead of the Smurfs which is nice. 

As for the Champions League, you still have a good chance of finishing second which would meet the board's expectations. If you can just find a little bit more consistency, you'll be sailing.

[oriole01]

8 minutes ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

You're doing fairly well in the league. Get that win against Leverkusen and you'll be right back in title contention. You're also ahead of the Smurfs which is nice. 

Thanks mate, I think I might have good news for you about that game at the next update! Schalke do look pretty pedestrian so far, but considering they were in a similar situation last season and still ended up getting hot and finishing 4th, I won't be resting on my laurels.

8 minutes ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

As for the Champions League, you still have a good chance of finishing second which would meet the board's expectations. If you can just find a little bit more consistency, you'll be sailing.

I'd sure like to think so, but we have put ourselves in a really poor position and I can't be completely confident we'll be able to find a way out. With two of the final three games away, it's gonna be difficult.

[oriole01]

Borussia Dortmund
November 2019

Awful, awful month. It started encouragingly, but the wheels almost completely fell off after that. 

So the only good result was a victory over the then-leaders Leverkusen. They managed to take the lead on 12', as Leon Bailey's cross from the byline found Andrea Belotti for the close-range finish. We equalized through Hasan Bay ten minutes later, who smashed one into the bottom left from a tight angle. Christian Pulisic gave us our first lead on 53, heading home a cross from Bay off a quick counter. We surrendered that lead just four minutes later, however, as a trip by Raphael Guerreiro on Bailey gave them a penalty which Charles Aranguiz lashed in. Yet we weren't done, as the winner would come through a brilliant Richarlison strike on 70'. The Brazilian rifled in his finish on his first touch from outside the box, sending the Kahle Armee into raptures and securing what should have been a massive win for us.

We played Sporting pretty even in Lisbon, but in the end their attacking prowess was too strong to withstand. After testing our defense all throughout the game, they finally broke through on 66' thanks to a sizzling 20-yarder from Bruno Paulista. They doubled the lead just five minutes later, as a heavy counter resulted in a Iuri Medeiros tap-in at the back post from Gelson Martins' cross. We were in no mood to change the scoreline, as evidenced by OusCrane missing a sitter after we were already 2-0 down. Another lackluster performance in Europe, which we can't seem to figure out at all this season.

We've now lost to both newly-promoted sides, as we were embarrassed by Union away from home.  Rico Strieder opened the scoring on 23', guiding the ball up above the reach of Roman Burki in net. They would grab a second on 48', as another Strieder shot was saved by Burki, deflected off the post, and then fell straight to the feet of Kenny Prince Redondo for the tap-in rebound. Richarlison would pull one back for us on the hour mark after a defensive mistake gave him free space, but they would hold on to condemn us to another shocking result.

Despite having a man sent off against Hoffenheim, we were the better team and deserved to win, but we somehow could not find the net. The red card occurred early, as Sokratis' two-footed dive on 16' left us a man down for the vast majority of the match. Yet the big chances would be ours, and it took a stellar performance from Oliver Baumann in the Hoffenheim net to keep us from scoring. I can't be too disappointed with the draw, as our defense did very well to hold them with its best player gone, but this really should have been our moment to upset the odds.

And then there's the results that make you want to tear your hair out... if anyone on Dortmund had hair, of course. This Ajax game was absolutely bonkers. Nearing half time, Alex Isak got us off the mark from close range, and then Danilo was sent off for them just a minute later. We looked secure going into the break, but Ajax somehow exploded for three unanswered goals: a tap-in from Vaclav Cerny, a long-range shot from Leo Baptistao, and an even-longer range free kick from Hakim Ziyech. But Isak would forge the path back, first knocking in a header on 69 and then slotting a cutback on 72. With his hat trick in tow, a draw seemed like a fair result, but Cerny popped up again on 86 to score the winner, a shot that Predrag Rajkovic should have saved. An absolutely gutting, infuriating, and head-scratching result.

Now five points behind Bayern after dropping an obscene amount of points so far. Leverkusen are still ahead of us. Bremen, Hoffenheim, Leipzig, and Schalke are on our tail. Koln and Nurnberg still going nowhere.

Out of Europe entirely. Absolutely ridiculous, considering this was the weakest group in the competition, and one we should have walked through easily. I don't know what we're doing wrong here, and it's extremely upsetting. The only silver lining is that at least we can focus on the league full time now.

Next month sees a busy holiday period, with a Klassiker in the league, a dead rubber CL game against Olympiakos, and our third round Pokal tie against Koln.

 

[oriole01]

Der Klassiker- Chapter Acht
Bundesliga Week Sixteen- The Pre-Game
The Kaiser Residence
It's the night before the season's first Klassiker derby. Hans Kaiser, although worried about the direction this season has taken so far for his team, believes that a victory here could set the tone for the second half of the season, in which they would only have the league and Pokal to contend with. At the moment, he's trying to relax. With Sophie and the boys asleep, he sits on his recliner, reading Philip K. Dick's "Ubik" for about the tenth time and listening to Tame Impala's "Lonerism" album on low volume. Yet the ringing phone disrupts his moment of zen. He moves over to the receiver and looks at the caller ID. A private number. He probably wasn't going to enjoy this phone call, but he picks up anyway.

"Hello?"
"Hello, Hans." The voice was all too familiar, and Hans definitely didn't like it.
"Carlo!? I've had this number changed five times!"
"I know my way around a phonebook." Hans could practically sense the smirk on Ancelotti's face.
"What could you possibly want this time? You've left Bayern, for god's sake!"
"Come on, Hans. Do you think I've forgotten about you? Just because I've moved on to bigger and better things here in Manchester doesn't mean I've let things go."
"Pfft, 'bigger and better things'? Did you forget that you frauds are in 7th right now?"
"Did you forget you've lost to Braunschweig and Union?" Carlo had clearly been keeping up with the results.
Hans clears his throat.
"Are you just here to trash talk me, Carlo? Cause I'm gonna have to hang up the phone."
"Well, not exactly, but thank you for asking. You see, ever since you got your goons to shave my head, I've been thinking. What was it all for? The intimidation, the pranks, the fights? You never once dented me. Even that one time you won, we still walked the title that season. All of your pathetic conduct was to cover up a deep sense of inadequacy you felt inside. You knew you'd never top me, and that made you so furious that you made it overly personal time and time again."
"Listen Carlo, they would have already told me if they changed my therapist." Hans snarks.
"No, I was just trying to get to the bottom of all of it. And now that I have, I'm glad I've moved on, Hans. In three seasons, I won more in Germany than you ever will, and now I've got even more money, even more talent, and even more... resources at my disposal. Safe to say that if you ever think of sending those crazy ****ers on me again, I've got more than enough here to deal with it. We may be underperforming right now, but once we start winning Premier Leagues and Champions Leagues like Pep before me, you won't be able to handle it. You really won't. Combine that with Bayern continuing to do well, and you'll be writing your suicide note before you turn 45."
"Sorry Carlo, but I don't buy it. You could have won even more here, but you left. There's not much of a difference between Bayern and Man City. Especially since I hate them both. I think I've affected you far more than you're willing to admit. I think you're the one who couldn't handle it. My associates did their jobs so well that they made you jump ship."
Carlo laughs on the other end.
"You know what they say about us Italians, Hans? We've got fire in our blood. I'm no different. If you think I've cowered one bit, you can keep dreaming. I wish I could meet your sad excuse for a club in Europe, but of course you've been eliminated. Fitting, really. Goodbye, Hans. I hope you don't miss me."
"Hey, I'd rather manage in Rotherham than be stuck in the Europa-"
The line goes dead.
"League." Hans says quietly. He hangs up the phone, then returns to his chair.

Just two pages of "Ubik" later, and the phone rings again. Another private number.
"Oh **** off, you fraudulent piece of-"
"Um, hello?" The voice on the other end is different this time.
"Oh, I'm very sorry. I've been receiving some obnoxious calls recently. May I ask who's calling?"
"This is Hans Kaiser, yes?"
"It is indeed!"
"Well, I wanted to call to introduce myself before we meet face to face tomorrow. I'm Rui Vitoria, the new Bayern manager." The voice was commanding and firm, but kind enough. 
"Oh... hey Rui... I really wasn't expecting a call from you."
"Well yeah, they told me you and Carlo had some um... problems over the past few seasons. But I hope we can be on good terms."
"Well, this isn't really supposed to be a friendly affair, Rui, but I really appreciate you calling ahead. I too hope we can be on good terms. It's just that the... differences... between Carlo and myself were irreconcilable."
"Yeah, don't worry about it, man. It's none of my business. Whatever happened between you two is in the past. We're in a different era now."
"Yeah, we are!" Hans exclaims happily.
"And I think you should know I'm cool with the baldness thing. It's not exactly my cup of tea, but it's been pretty interesting to watch, and I hope you keep it going."
"Thank you! That means a lot to me, especially from another manager."
A few seconds pass before Vitoria speaks again.
"Well, I should get going, Hans. Of course, I can't exactly wish you luck tomorrow, but I'm definitely looking forward to the match. Have a good night."
"You too! Thanks for calling, and see you tomorrow."
"Cheers." Vitoria hangs up.

The call leaves Hans conflicted. As much as he hated Bayern, who were already well ahead of Dortmund in the league, he couldn't help but feel great respect for Rui Vitoria. His decency would make Hans' team talk a little less fiery tomorrow, as they were usually filled with slurs directed at the other manager. But he'd put that to rest now. Just like he had with Markus Weinzierl, even if that wasn't exactly by his own choice.
Things were definitely changing. A peace treaty with Weinzierl and potential camaraderie with Vitoria? What was Hans becoming? Certainly something Che and Zezé wouldn't be happy to see. But they weren't his masters. He was theirs, at least in theory.
In theory, not in practice.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

Pretty rough month. Any idea what the problem in Europe is?

[oriole01]

Der Klassiker- Chapter Acht
Bundesliga Week Sixteen- The Post-Game

What a result! This is the first time since September 2016 that I've defeated Bayern on this save, and it's nearly 2020 now. We got a big boost on just 13 minutes when Arturo Vidal was sent off for a two-footed lunge from behind on Nadiem Amiri. It wouldn't take long for us to break through after that, as on 28', Ousmane Dembele took a brilliant cross from Raphael Guerreiro and squeezed home the opener at the back post. The "OusCrane" tifo was flying like crazy after that goal, providing one of the most special Dortmund moments in years. The 22-year-old Frenchman also forced a big save off Manuel Neuer before half time. In the second half, we would put the weakened FC Hollywood side away, as we notched our second on 64'. A Sebastian Rode shot was deflected onto Alex Isak, and the in-form striker buried the finish past an out-of-position Neuer from twelve yards. The shots and possession stats say everything about this match, as they could not contend with our man advantage and barely threatened us in the attacking third. After the Isak goal, we cruised to a big, big win.

I have to say, this is a weird season. We've now beaten both of the teams who are ahead of us in the league, yet we've lost to both newly-promoted sides and a mid-table Schalke in the Ruhr Derby. Furthermore, we were dreadful in Europe, leaving us with only domestic competitions to play for after Christmas. Nevertheless, this is a massive, potentially tone-setting result for the rest of the season, but we can't get complacent against anybody, as the oft-mentioned losses to Braunschweig and Union show.

Los! Los! Los!
 

[oriole01]

On 4/9/2018 at 14:55, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

Pretty rough month. Any idea what the problem in Europe is?

Honestly, I have no clue. Our tactics have had wobbles against smaller teams in both the league and Europe, but this season was really bad in the CL. I do play a rotated squad in European matches, but they still should have been good enough to beat every team in that group. It's possible that we just got really unlucky on each matchday.

[oriole01]

With the club in 9th place and reeling from consecutive 1-5 and 0-5 thumpings against RB Leipzig and Werder Bremen, respectively, Schalke decided to sack their manager Markus Weinzierl, who had been with the club since 2016. The peace treaty between Hans Kaiser and Weinzierl didn't last long. It was nullified and shredded shortly after Kaiser placed a call to Schalke's offices demanding that this be done. Hans couldn't risk keeping that sort of treaty around for a new manager, as he had signed it against his will in the first place. He would have to wait and see what the Smurfs' new skipper would bring to the table, but regardless, it wouldn't be a friendly relationship. Vitoria and Bayern, he could give a pass to. They had just beaten them, after all. Schalke? Not a chance. Not after all that had transpired in the past few years. The hatred between the Ruhr's giants had reached its boiling point, and next time, it could be ready to spill over.

[oriole01]

Borussia Dortmund
December 2019

This was looking like a great month, but it seems that we get cursed after beating big sides, because we tanked the last two matches badly.

We started with a draw against RB Leipzig. Things started rather poorly, as on just 2', Max Philipp opened the scoring for the opposition with a deflected effort from outside the area. We got our equalizer on 32', as Alex Isak also stroked one home from long range, his curved shot clinking off the post before heading in. The second half was relatively quiet, although Stefan Ilsanker was sent off on 86'. We didn't have enough time to make a goal advantage out of our man advantage, but we claimed a respectable draw away from home against a good side.

The following weekend, we were able to escape Hamburg with a narrow win. After we cleared two Hamburg attempts off the line in the early goings, things were looking nervy, but we got a sudden swing in fortune when we were awarded a penalty on 18' for a trip on OusCrane. Our penalty taker Andre Schurrle stepped up to bury it for the lead. Our position was further strengthened when Hamburg midfielder Walace was sent off on 46' for a horrific tackle on Mario Gotze. We couldn't score again, but Schurrle nearly had a second on 63', his well-struck effort just barely being tipped onto the post by Julian Pollersbeck. They failed to threaten us offensively after going down to ten men, and we held on to take all three points.

We finally looked like ourselves in our final CL group game against Olympiakos, but it would have been a lot better had this sort of performance come when we weren't already eliminated. Gotze got us off the mark on 26' from a well-taken snapshot, which was also his first goal of the season. We had plenty more chances to score a second, but we wouldn't take one until the final moments of the match, when Isak snuck home a simple finish after two previous shots had been blocked by their defenders. A good performance, especially defensively, but it doesn't reverse our poor performances elsewhere in this competition.

See above for our Klassiker win over Bayern.

Just when I thought we had shaken off our ills against weaker opposition in the Pokal, we were routed by Köln yet again away from home. All I can say was we were a shambles defensively. They got their first on 5', when Marvin Plattenhardt's cross found a tightly-marked Anthony Modeste to bang home a header. Modeste got another on 31, albeit with the assist coming from Richarlison, whose attempted backpass was cut out and easily put away by the prolific Frenchman. They only had to wait eight more minutes for a third, as Modeste's fancy backheel found Milos Jojic in space to slot one into the bottom right corner. We did get a late consolation from a poor own goal by their keeper, but it was pretty much a non-factor as we crashed out of the Pokal. At least we made it farther than ever before... 

Then the lowest point came against the worst team in the league: Nürnberg. So we've now lost to both newly-promoted sides and the side currently bottom of the table. I don't know what happened here, but it was unacceptable. After a tepid first half, they opened the scoring not long after the start of the second, with Patrick Kammerbauer scrapping home a volley after Stefan Aigner had hit the post with his header. Raphael Guerreiro got himself sent off on 87' for a second yellow, leaving the door open for them to finish the game off through Abdelhamid Sabiri's close-range goal in stoppage time. We failed to take any of our chances in opposition, and entered the winter break with a deflating loss. Awful.

Table

We were four points off the top after beating Bayern, but that's reverted back to seven now. Bayern have been strong, but should face heavy opposition from Leverkusen for the title. Bremen, who are having their best season in ages, have passed us on goal difference, and Leipzig and Hoffenheim are just a point behind. Braunschweig and Union are even on points, but both are free of the relegation places for the moment. Nurnberg claimed their first two wins of the season (one of them against us, of course) this month, which greatly increases their survival prospects. They're now level with Koln and three off Hamburg in the playoff place.

Awards

Another Golden Boy has come from Dortmund! It was Pulisic last year, and now Alex Isak has been named the best youngster in Europe, with 21 combined goals between us and his loan spell at Freiburg in the 2019 calendar year. Always great to see this sort of honor bestowed on one of our players, and I can see more coming in the future. Pulisic also came second in the North American Player of the Year, which he won in 2018.

We'll play two league games in January after the winter break. Hopefully I'll have some good news for you in the transfer market, because boy do we need help right now.

[oriole01]

A Ukrainian, huh? A people ripe with shadiness. Good thing I got that peace treaty ripped up, or else it could have been seriously exploited. Time will tell if he can save the Smurfs' season, but I have to be much more worried about the potential reassembly of Schalke's underground Ultras network. If they get back to full force, they will succeed in killing me this time, absolutely no question about it. I've hired some PIs to track activity around the mines, but their reports have come up empty so far. With the change of hands at the top, however, it could only be a matter of time...

[oriole01]

Borussia Dortmund
January 2020

Back into the green to start the new year, but the true tests will have to wait for later on.

We did well in the friendlies, but I was surprised to see Spanish third tier side Real Jaén score twice against us. We then shut down RB Salzburg, and took care of business against serial friendly opponents Bielefeld.

We returned to Bundesliga play with a close away win over Freiburg. After trading big chances early (OusCrane hit the post and Yussuf Poulsen dragged one wide), we opened the scoring on 38' following a brilliant counter move, which ended with OusCrane playing a cutback onto Alex Isak to apply the finish from close range. Yet Freiburg gave us a hell of a game, as they won possession heavily and pushed towards our goal late on. Their newgen 18-year-old Sandro Guimaraes did beat our keeper Rajkovic on 86', but his shot kissed the post and was cleared off the line by a defender. A close game and a hard-fought victory, but I would expect no less from Hans' former side at home.

We then returned to the Signal Iduna for the first competitive game since Der Klassiker against Ingolstadt, and came away with an important three points. We got started early, as on 15', a cross from Felix Passlack was headed down by Isak onto Nadiem Amiri's feet, who snapped home the volley for 1-0. We took that lead into the half, but Ingolstadt struck back not long after the restart, with Thomas Olivier Amang beating five of our defenders and the keeper with a well-placed effort from outside the box. Yet we regained the lead just a minute later, as Jacob Bruun Larsen somehow found a way to sneak his effort from 21 yards into the bottom right corner with several red-clad defenders in the vicinity. They tried to push for an equalizer up until the end, but it was us who claimed the final goal, as Isak concluded a day in which he already bagged two assists with a close-range volleyed goal in stoppage time. A good attacking performance that gave everyone a boost.

Table

I don't know how it's possible, but we are right in the thick of the title race as the second half of the season begins. Both Bayern and Leverkusen have been leaking points like a sieve recently, as well as the teams right behind us. We're now four points clear of Hoffenheim and five clear of Bremen and Leipzig. The Smurfs have made a push upwards under Rebrov, and could be poised for another second half charge. Wolfsburg have been on fire and are now in with a shout in the EL race. In the land of relegation, Hamburg have found a way out of the playoff place, which is now occupied by Braunschweig. Nurnberg now have three wins- with their latest coming against none other than Bayern Munich... bonkers. That leaves Koln rock-bottom, with their next game against us, but I can never underestimate those bastards no matter where they are in the table!

Transfers

We start with outgoings, as is custom. I loaned out Weigl, as he wasn't going to get a game with our current situation at midfield. As I said in the squad review, I've not been impressed with him on this save, but there really isn't a better destination than Barcelona to prove that he has what it takes. There is a $20 million future fee attached to the loan, but I'll only let Barca use it if he hasn't sufficiently impressed me. Summer signing Décio didn't want to continue his loan at affiliate Karlsruher, so he goes back out on loan to Ingolstadt, who we just faced off with. He didn't do too well in the 2. Bundesliga, so I don't think he'll do much better a level up, but he already does have a goal and an assist, so maybe not. Merino is another victim of the overstock of our midfield. I was pretty conflicted on whether to sell him, as he wasn't listed, but when the offers came in, I decided that with the new signing in midfield coming in, who you'll see in a moment, it was probably best to move him on, as he wasn't on the best form when he did get games here. Bilbao is a good place for him to further his career, as they've actually qualified for the CL knockouts and are a club on the rise. Guerreiro was pretty much out of my hands. When Man City started coming in with offers, I kept trying to push them up to his $35 million minimum release clause, thinking Carlo didn't have the cojones to go there, but they finally did it on the fourth offer, snatching Raphael from us without enough time to find a replacement on Deadline Day. There's no doubt he can do well at the next level, but I'm disappointed that it had to be Carlo's City, of all teams. Marcel Schmelzer is now the starter, with Passlack the only right back who can provide backup.

Incomings. Cyprien is a solid 25-year-old midfielder from Nice, who we also bought Malang Sarr from in the summer. He has all the attributes required to do a job in the center of the park, where he can play as either a DLP, AP, or Roaming Playmaker. With Castro aging and Weigl not up to standard, Cyprien was the player we needed to have a better chance of winning the midfield on a more consistent basis, and I'm very glad that we've got him.

Lerche is someone I've been tracking for a while, ever since he showed up on Denmark's World Cup side at 18 years old and scored twice, I was intrigued by his talent, and it's safe to say he's an absolute beast of a player. The now 20-year-old looks like he could go to the very top of the world game, as evidenced by those ridiculous attributes. Although Nadiem Amiri, another coveted CAM signing from last season, is on the form of his life, Lerche could potentially surpass even him. With Gotze having a poor season, he'll be in rotation with Amiri for the rest of the year, and they could form a lethal duo at that position for years to come.

Wylan Cyprien|Andreas Lerche

I thought I was happy with my squad two seasons ago, but I've now realized that a squad has to continually be improving if they want success, as evidenced by some of our shortcomings both last season and in the first half of this one. I don't know when we'll reach the top, but with the spending ability I've been blessed with here, I am definitely in a position to keep bringing in the players that will give us a chance to go there.

Next month sees a rough league schedule: five games, with three of them against teams in the top half, and one of them being the Ruhr Derby.
Los! Los! Los!

[kidthekid]

Nice upswing in form. Fingers crossed.

[oriole01]

On 4/14/2018 at 19:03, kidthekid said:

Nice upswing in form. Fingers crossed.

Cheers!

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

Andreas Vogel

Andreas Lerche

Seriously though, he looks incredible. Definite star of the future.

[wynter]

Liked Cyprien for years, hope he does a great job for you. 

 

BALDNESS UBER ALLES!