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[FM17] San Giovanni - Tearing down the Establishment


Bedese

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I'm loving the way this all went. Except for the bugged part with your YR making you change away from SG, but Billy is having a blast with some top quality 'sugar'.

 

Oh, and Sewell and Billy can expect to appear in a certain thread in the not so distant future. ;) 

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4 hours ago, Benjoe said:

I'm loving the way this all went. Except for the bugged part with your YR making you change away from SG, but Billy is having a blast with some top quality 'sugar'.

 

Oh, and Sewell and Billy can expect to appear in a certain thread in the not so distant future. ;) 

I can't wait :D 

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Well that was a long read, but I enjoyed it. Also read your FM16 story, really unfortunate it has to end on the same conclusion. It's perhaps a bug, or unintended side effect of the AI having a different implementation of the same features human players get. It would be interesting to see if you cheated YR if you would get any further but after playing this for so many seasons I guess you'd be getting burned out. Thanks for the entertaining thread anyways hopefully better luck next year? :)

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9bcf7d2ce7b504855fa1d87ff39b2337.png
 

Incredible. The AI have managed to absolutely ruin them in five years. They're now absolutely hopeless in Europe, and they've somehow gone from the 22m in the bank I left them with to negative 700k. IN FIVE YEARS.

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"Ahh, good. Matteo! Come in! Sit down!"

"What's up, boss?"

"Billy and I just wanted to see how you're feeling about being around the international setup for the first time. Settling in okay?"

"Ahh yeah, no worries boss. Enjoying the experience."

"Glad to hear. Can I offer you a cup of tea?"

"Errr.. sure?"

"Excellent! Put the kettle on, Billy."

 

*Two minutes later*

"Here you go pal."
"WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Matteo looked confused. 

"I'm... drinking my tea?"

The boss and Billy looked at each other and sighed.

"You haven't put any sugar in yet?"

"Err.. no. I don't tend to take it with sugar, so..."

"Nonsense, boy. Billy here just got an incredible tasting sugar just delivered from Columbia! You have to try some. I insist."

"In that case... sure?"

"Let's go into the kitchen. You can see the sugar freshly laid out on the silver tray for yourself. It's delightful."

"See, Matteo, put a couple of spoonfuls in."

"Are you not going to have any sugar, boss?"

"Oh, Matteo. Trust me. I'm going to have some sugar. I can't get enough of the stuff. But Billy and I prefer to take our sugar a different way. We've re-defined the very concept of tea."

"Yeah... sure you have, boss. Chee.."

"Before you drink, Matteo. You have to try the tea our way. I insist."

"If it's all the same to you, boss, I think I'll drink it the normal way..."

"It's not all the same. Matteo, I actually called you in here to tell you that you're going to be given your international debut tonight. But if you don't want to do things our way, maybe I can't trust you enough..."

"I'll do things your way! However you want me to drink this tea, I'll do it. I promise, boss. You can trust me!"

"Excellent. Well, what we prefer to do with this... sugar... is we like to drink our tea, and then snort the sugar right into our noses. It gives you a real kick, and the flavours combine wonderfully."

"Err.... I'm not sure..."

"Matteo. Do you trust me? There's no better way to drink your tea in the world. I'm 97, I've tried them all!"

"Okay, boss. I trust you."

"Superb. Billy, why don't you put the sugar into a neat line for Matteo to... drink. I've got big things planned for this boy, you know!"

 

 

 

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"Boss! I need to talk to you."

"Shhh... not now Billy. We're celebrating!"

"Boss. Now."

Sewell shot a concerned glance at Billy, but his PA was giving nothing away. With a sigh, Sewell got up and followed him out the room.

"They want Matteo."

"What?"

"The drug testers. They've just asked for a sample from Matteo."

"Oh, f***!"

 

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"YOU'RE A F***ING DEADMAN SEWELL!"

"Ah. Yes. Hello Matteo."

"WHAT THE F*** HAVE YOU DONE?!?!"

"Listen. I'm afraid we may have accidentally... made a mistake wit..."

"I KNEW THAT WASN'T SUGAR! WASN'T IT!!!"

"Well, okay, no. It wasn't, but..."

"I'M GOING TO F***ING KILL YOU"

*Matteo reaches under the desk in Sewell's office and pulls out a conveniently placed steel chair, exactly like you'd see in Wrestling.*

"AHHH! S***! MATTEO STOP! WE CAN WORK THIS OU ARHHHHHHHHHHHH F***ING HELL"

*At this point, Billy walks into the room. He strides over to the desk and reaches under it, pulling out a steel chair of his own. He opens it up and sits down on it with a bucket of popcorn and a little bag of white powder, ready to enjoy the main event."

"A LITTLE HELP HERE, BILLY?"

"Oh, of course! Sorry!"

*Billy throws the bag at Sewell, but it hits the floor and spills everywhere.*

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

*Billy dives onto the metal floor to rescue the powder. Can't let it go to waste! He'd busted his nose in the dive, so as the powder went in, blood was going out. Billy was happy with that trade off.*

"You two. Your drug bulls*** has ruined my life. They've banned me from playing football for two years! I'll be blacklisted by every team in the country. I'll have to move to somewhere like f***ing Columbia if I ever want to play football again."

*Sewell sees Billy about to open his mouth.*

"Not now, Billy. Look, Matteo. It's bad. I know that. I'm sorry. But we can fix this."

"You can get me unsuspended?"

"What? No. You took drugs. They'll never overturn tha AHHHHHHH F*** I'M SORRY STOP HITTING ME"

"Then how the f*** are you going to make this right? I WANT AN ANSWER OR I'M SWINGING"

"I didn't know you were into that," Billy quipped. Matteo shot him a thunderous glance, and Billy went back to bleeding on the floor.

"Look, Matteo. You can't play football, but you can still work in football. I pitched to the FA some lies about how motivational and inspirational it would be to have an ex-international, reformed drug addict around the place, and..."

"REFORMED DRUG ADDICT? YOU GAVE ME THE F***ING POWDER!"

"Yes, well, accidents will happen. Anyway, they've given the green light for you to come in here and work as a coach with us. We'll pay you twice as much as you were earning as a player, to make up for the... inconvenience."

*Matteo stared down the manager for what felt like an eternity, before slowly reaching out his hand.*

"You're lucky I've always wanted to get into coaching and that I need the money, or you'd be bleeding twice as bad as your stupid f***ing mate on the floor. I accept, you absolute *****."

"Excellent! Billy, put the kettl - actually, on second thoughts, I think we should probably leave it."

 

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73c997b6a4b8ec52b4ec1aef35f193b4.png

Man, we got absolutely hosed with the draw for this. Both Armenia and Montenegro are really good sides who shouldn't be in the bottom group. We'll have to hope they take points off each other and that we can swoop in.

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I think it's time to call this save.

 

San Giovanni have absolutely imploded. They've managed to go from 22m in the bank to negative money, the Youth Recruitment has only gotten to 5/20, and they've absolutely tanked in Europe. It's 2102, and I'm calling it a day.

Stay tuned for what's next, though... ;) 

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