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[FM17] Something...Something...Something...Journeyman!


andychar

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Chapter One - Holy Crap, That's a lot of Countries...I'm Gonna Need A Globe

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Ok so I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't buy Football Manager 2017. I have a 6 month old baby and thought I won't have time. I was doing very well, only mentioning to the wife twice a day how I wish I had time to buy and play the new Football Manager 2017. So it was my birthday on the 4th...guess what Birthday Claus bought me :D... new socks and a mug that has Lionel Richie's face on with the quote "Hello, is it tea your looking for?".

 

Oh and Football Manager 2017!

 

So what should I do as my first save? Mansfield Town my home team? Chelsea the team that is spread all over my favourite bowl, mug, pint glass etc...

Nah. 

I decided to start small.

After reading the always brilliant @Makoto Nakamura and his A-Z journey I decided to download @claassen's amazing world league pack.

 

My aim is to win as many trophies as possible.  

I started by randomising 3 countries from the following possibilities...

Africa Asia Europe North America  Oceania South America
Algeria Afghanistan Albania Antigua and Barbuda American Samoa Argentina
Angola Australia Andorra Aruba Cook Islands Bolivia
Burkina Faso Bahrain Armenia Bahamas Fiji Brazil
Cameroon Bangladesh Austria Barbados Kiribati Chile
Congo Bhutan Azerbaijan Belize New Caledonia Colombia
DR Congo Brunei Belarus Bermuda New Zealand Ecuador
Egypt Cambodia Belgium Bonaire Papua New Guinea Paraguay
Ethiopia China Bosnia-Herzegovina British Virgin Islands Samoa Peru
Ghana East Timor Bulgaria Cayman Islands Solomon Islands Uruaguay
Guinea Guam Croatia Costa Rica Tahiti Venezuela
Ivory Coast Hong Kong Cyprus Cuba Tonga  
Kenya India Czech Republic Curacao Tuvalu  
Liberia Indonesia Denmark Dominica Vanuatu  
Libya Iran England Dominican Republic    
Mali Iraq Estonia El Salvador    
Morocco Japan Faroe Islands French Guiana    
Niger Jordan Finland Grenada    
Nigeria Kuwait France Guadeloupe    
Senegal Kyrgyzstan Georgia Guatemala    
South Africa Laos Germany Guyana    
Sudan Lebanon Gibraltar Haiti    
Tunisia Macau Greece Honduras    
Uganda Malaysia Hungary Jamaica    
Zambia Maldives Iceland Martinique    
Zimbabwe Mongolia Ireland Mexico    
  Myanmar Israel Nicaragua    
  Nepal Italy Panama    
  North Korea Kazakhstan Puerto Rico    
  Northern Marianas Islands Kosovo Saint Kitts and Nevis    
  Oman Latvia Saint Lucia    
  Pakistan Lithuania Saint Vincent and the Grenadines    
  Palestine Luxembourg Suriname    
  Philippines Macedonia Trinidad and Tobago    
  Qatar Malta Turks and Caicos Islands    
  Saudi Arabia Moldova US Virgin Islands    
  Singapore Montenegro USA    
  South Korea Netherlands      
  Sri Lanka Northern Ireland      
  Syria Norway      
  Taiwan Poland      
  Tajikstan Portugal      
  Thailand Romania      
  Turkmenistan Russia      
  United Arab Emirates San Marino      
  Uzbekistan Scotland      
  Vietnam Serbia      
  Yemen Slovakia      
    Slovenia      
    Spain      
    Sweden      
    Switzerland      
    Turkey      
    Ukraine      
    Wales      

 

So only a few to chose from really.

The First country to come out was...

 senegalese-flag-graphic.png

Senegal!

The Second Country to come out was...

jordanian-flag-graphic.png 

Jordan!

The Third Country to come out was...

italian-flag-graphic.png 

Italy!

 

Now I had the countries I need to decide where I wanted to start my World Wide Adventure!

I created a new manager with my real age (28). He started with my real experience Sunday League Football (even that's a stretch!). He also started with no badges whatsoever.

I didn't want to start unemployed I wanted to start at a club.

I decided to start in Italy, plenty of clubs to choose from at a lower level.

I was going to be the worst team in Serie C until one team caught my eye.

A team who has fallen from grace and was crying out to be saved. 

ParmaCalcio1913_logo-400x400.png 

Parma Calcio 1913.

 

The club has recently joined an ever increasing list of Football Club's struggling to keep up with the monetary demands of the modern game. They were declared bankrupt and were relegated to Serie D. A promotion last season has once again made the once great club playable, and this is where I will start my (hopefully) amazing journey.

 

The rules are simple.

3 countries will be loaded at any one time.

A country can be ticked as complete once a competition the board cares about has been won. For example my first season with Parma I compete in the Serie C/B league and the Serie C cup. The board expectation for the Serie C Cup is "Not important" meaning if I win this competition it won't be good enough to move on.

I am free to move around the 3 countries loaded. Meaning just because I've started with Parma it doesn't mean I couldn't join a Senegalese team or a Jordan team before moving back to Italy. 

Once a country has been deemed complete it will be removed from the game and another nation chosen completely at random will replace it.

 

I don't think for a second I will complete this journey but I hope to have a lot of fun on the way!

I will try and update as much as physically possible and any feedback is always greatly appreciated.

Year	Team	 Country	League	             Position	Cups	        Notes
2016/17	Parma	 Italy	    Italia Serie C/B	         	Serie C Cup	

 

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4 hours ago, vossmaj said:

Wonderful idea, huge congrats on the baby and that wonderful Birthday Claus you got there! Will definitely be following.

Thanks. I was expecting it at all from her. Nothing says "I want to spend time with you in the same room but not physically speak" more than getting me FM!

I'm hoping to post my first few months tonight after I'm done adulting.

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Just now, andychar said:

Thanks. I was expecting it at all from her. Nothing says "I want to spend time with you in the same room but not physically speak" more than getting me FM!

I'm pretty sure my girlfriend feels the same way :lol:

 

Great idea, definably following!

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2 hours ago, andychar said:

 Nothing says "I want to spend time with you in the same room but not physically speak" more than getting me FM!

:lol:

My then-fiance, now my wife, bought me Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas for Valentine's Day soon-ish after it came out. I'm not sure what that says, about her, me, or us...  Of course, I played it with her in the room before long...she genuinely had no idea what to expect. The "what have I done" thousand-yard stare was priceless.

Anyway, looking forward to the journey! Followed!

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On 06/01/2017 at 16:12, ManUtd1 said:

:lol:

My then-fiance, now my wife, bought me Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas for Valentine's Day soon-ish after it came out. I'm not sure what that says, about her, me, or us...  Of course, I played it with her in the room before long...she genuinely had no idea what to expect. The "what have I done" thousand-yard stare was priceless.

Anyway, looking forward to the journey! Followed!

:lol: Its funny to watch the penny slowly drop as they realise what they have done!

 

I am going to update this! Had my daughters Christening this weekend so its been a bit hectic. I'm about 10 games into the season so expect this to start very soon!

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The following takes place between 7.00pm and 11.00pm on a night I finally get in front of my laptop to play FM!

7.00pm - "Oh good, baby is being fed ready for bed. I'll get my laptop out and finally play some FM so I can keep the good good people on the SI forum updated.

7.05pm - "Hmmm she's not settling as well as she normally does, oh well lets get this first game started, I'm on a bit of a slump (playing FM drunk after your daughters Christening day is a very bad idea and I would not recommended it to anybody) so I need to turn things around.

7.10pm - *Baby screaming* "Ok I better put the laptop down and help out here. 

latest?cb=20150405010933

9.10pm - "Ok great. Baby now asleep. Let's get this show on the road. Oh no FM has crashed, maybe just shutting my lid wasn't a good idea. Oh well I'll just restart it. 

9.15pm - "Am update!? Really?! I was just on it! 20 minutes! This update better be good.

twenty_minutes_later.jpg

9.30pm - "Can't believe just had to talk to the wife for 20 minutes...she seems nice. Finally the update is done. Lets do this."

9.35pm - "Hmmm black screen after the loading screen. No bigger I'll restart computer and hopefully that will sort it."

9.40pm - "Still black screen. Ok no problem I'll just go on the wonderful SI forum for an answer.

latest?cb=20160104075400

10.40pm - "Ok nothing has worked there. I'll just uninstall it and reinstall it. Fingers crossed that will do the trick."

11.00pm - *Sobbing, A broken man assumes the fetal position and gently rocks.*

 

So basically cut a long story short my FM is broken!

I can see the screen fine all the way up and past the loading screen but when the main menu should appear all I see is darkness, its like looking into my soul. When I press X a green dialogue box appears. Its like something is there but I can't see it, just like my soul! 

So tonight will be filled with trying to sort it out and hopefully getting back to normal. I'm still not sure if this save has even made it! If it has great. If it hasn't there might be a complete overhaul, same rules but 3 new randomised countries just so I can wash this experience off and truly start again...wish me luck!

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Chapter 1.2

I swear to god I was just in Italy...have I been abducted?

 

Ok so I managed to get FM working again by completely rinsing it from my system and starting again. Which meant I had to start again.

I decided to choose 3 different countries this time.

Call it a clean slate.

I also decided that I will do this the hard way and start unemployed, with zero experience and zero badges, because obviously I haven't suffered enough.

So without further ado the 3 countries I will try and find employment in are...

840px-Flag_of_Kosovo.svg.png

KOSOVO

nigerflagimage1.png

NIGER

ChileFlagImage1.png

CHILE

When I started the game I decided to apply for all jobs available and hope for the best.

It turns out they have recently had a cull in both Kosovo and Niger because every single team was up for grabs. Still with zero experience or references I didn't hold up much hope in getting a team straight away.

Turns out Kosovo and Niger clubs are very generous and 36 clubs wanted to give me an interview!

I tell you that was a rough day!

I basically told every single club what they wanted to hear. 

"Yeah Albanian, easy language to learn!" "French, pffft Chen, Bonjour...easy!"

"Why am I looking at so many jobs. Well I'm just hoping for the best."

"Why yes I believe I'll be brilliant with your clubs finances...all 50 quid of it."

"You want me to guide the club to a safe mid table position? Sod that, promotion all the way!"

"Erm...no I don't have any demands. Let me get the job first then the demands will start."

So after 36 gruelling interviews 6 clubs were very eager to get me. I made my choice based on a very scientific method...who had the highest media prediction, because the media is always right!

 Using that very professional method my journey begins at...

646px-FC_Prishtina.svg.png

Yes that's THE FC Prishtina.

They are only the most successful club in Kosovo, which I think is like saying your the slimmest person at Weight Watchers.

Wikipedia defines FC Prishtina as

KF Prishtina (or FC Prishtina, Albanian: Klubi Futbollistik Prishtina) is a football club based in Prishtina, Kosovo.[a] The club plays in the Football Superleague of Kosovo.

After Kosovo became under United Nations Administration Mission, FC Prishtina left the Serbian football league system and became part of the Kosovar Superliga (Reiffeisen Superliga) which became the highest football division of Kosovo. As the club from Kosovo with most successful results in the past and the best infrastructure, FC Prishtina became dominant in the early years of the competition, and won the first two editions, in 1999–00 and 2000–01. Afterwards, it was champion in 2003–04 and twice again won two titles in a row in 2007–08, 2008–09 and 2011–12, 2012–13.

Since 1999, FC Prishtina has been 6 times Kosovo champion until 2011 being the club with most league titles.[5] Between 1945 and 1999 the Kosovar league was a regional league of the Yugoslav league system, and FC Prishtina did not gather many titles in that league because it usually competed in higher national levels.

The supporters of the club are called Plisat.

So there you go...I'm a Plisat...I just don't know how I'm going to tell my wife.

After a false start and a few nights of tears (both the babies and mine) I was completely ready to take on this challenge. So were the 8 contracted players and a squad full of greyed out players! 

Maybe I have bitten off more than I can chew...

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22 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

Brilliant read, catching up on the exploits of the last 48 hours. Good luck in Kosovo!

3 hours ago, noikeee said:

Enjoyed reading everything so far. :D good luck for the actual playing bit.

Cheers! I'm hoping the next 48 hours will actually be more than one solitary friendly...*Spoiler alert* which I lost!

 

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Chapter 1.3 "Getting closer to actually playing a game!"

Now I don't want to get anybody too excited but...I actually have screenshots!

Accepting%20Job_zpsdc7b7pxi.jpg

So as you can see I was a very wanted man. I mean...who wouldn't want a 27 year old man with no qualifications, no experience and doesn't even speak the language.

Prishtina were expected to finish 3rd in the league and honestly that was the driving force behind me choosing them above all others...the other driving force was I could actually pronounce the name of the team!

Background_zpstuc4tvfc.jpg

So the club have had success, they won the Kosovan Cup last season and have won the Kosovan Superleague 4 times, the last one coming in 2012/13. 

The board realised that I was inexperienced and maybe wouldn't be able to bring success straight away. They were completely understanding in their ambitions for the season...

competition%20overview_zpstkjtfcbq.jpg

Win everything...or else.

So what did the squad I inherited actually look like.

squad%20when%20took%20over_zpsvvrbjvvr.j

Oh. Erm...undo! Undo!

So turns out I have 9 players. The rest are greyed out and the youth team is entirely greyed out. Basically I need to sign some players. Best take a look at the clubs finances. See what I can do.

finances%20really%20before_zpszfoximzh.j

Ok. So I need a lot of players and I have a total of £174 p/w left on the wage budget...starting to regret my 400p/w managers wage!

So who would can I get who actually wants to play in the Kosovo Superleague?

berisha%20cm_zpswc3nleki.jpgberisha%20acm_zpsqw3qx0p0.jpgpashaj%20gk_zpss2cgsrre.jpgkarapchi_zpskjhdrhtr.jpgbatha_zpsk18ewhms.jpg

Wonder what the Albania is for utter crap.

But from the darkness a few gems have been unearthed.

qorraj%20rb_zpsuukmgeen.jpgshabani%20cm_zpssfj4wcpa.jpg

I mean of course I use the word "Gem" as a stretch. They are not good players but in the Kosovo Superleague they could be brilliant.

If left my team looking like this before the start of the season.

squad%20at%20start%20of%20season_zps4ief

My team is looking a lot more white (that sounded a lot more racist than anticipated).

Summary!

Number of players signed: 6

Number of games played: 0

Number of Albanian words learnt: 3

Next time!

Preseason friendlies

Predictions and theories for the season

The actual start of the season and management!

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Chapter 1.4 "So this is what a dugout looks like"

So the time was finally here, the signings had been made. It was time to finally be in charge of a game. Never has a preseason game meant more to a manager!

friendlies_zpsmcynu8sb.jpg

Wonder if ASDA are still hiring.

Prishtina 1-3 Dnipro - Maybe starting the game with the team talk "I've heard of this team! We might be screwed" wasn't the best idea. We went 2-0 down quite quickly but then came back into the game. We scored early on in the 2nd half to make it 2-1 before they made the game safe in the 91st minute. Overall generally happy with the performance.

Prishtina 0-2 Lokomotiv Sofia - 1 step forward 2 steps backwards. The only positive thing I could take from this game was we kept the score down to 2. I couldn't tell you when they scored as I was looking through an English to Albanian dictionary trying to find the words for "Great Character".

Grbalj 3-1 Prishtina - This is where the logic "I've not heard of these, I should beat them" went straight out the window. Apparently they play in the Macedonian Premier League which makes me feel better about absolutely nothing. We took the lead after a bright 12 minutes. It was just downhill from there. I start to get that sinking feelings around here. Especially as I get this message pretty soon after.

insecure%20board_zpsv0bs6wzj.jpg

Apparently the board don't like it when you spend money they don't have on crap players. I don't know, who'd be a football manager!

Graficar (P) 1-3 Prishtina - So this is what it feels like. A warm glow surrounds me. Macedonian Premier League teams may have my number my Macedonian First Division teams can't touch me! This game has taught me that if I'm going to succeed this season I need to score a lot. They only had 2 shots, scored one and hit the post with the other.

I have rested my hopes this season on a player called Ahmet Januzi. A striker who has Albanian caps could fire us to the title. "But he didn't score a single goal in preseason, how could you rest all your hopes on a striker who can't score" I hear you cry!

januazi%20jumping_zpsqqcfrptc.jpg

That's it. No more jumping!

So it wasn't the best preseason I've ever seen but I've noticed something. Nobody is buying anybody. I've completely rinsed the club of all finances to get players while I think the AI managers won't do the same. That leads me to believe I might just have the advantage this season because I'm willing to sacrifice the long term future of the club to win this season (because lets face as soon as I bag a cup I'm gone!).

odds_zpsjadiira4.jpg

The bookies however don't agree. Moving from 3rd to 5th in the media prediction table isn't the sort of impact I was looking for! Oh well on wards and upwards to the super cup!

Summary!

Number of games against teams heard of: 2

Number of wins: 1

Number of Albanian swear words learnt: All of them.

Coming Up!

The massive spectacle that is the Kosovo Super Cup

The Start of the Kosovo Superleague and Cup

 

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Chapter 1.5 "Oh eja!"

The Super Cup was waiting for me. The first piece of silverware in what will hopefully be a very long and successful career in football.

kosovo%20super%20cup_zpshd1qqzet.jpg

The stage was set, I was feeling confident. I couldn't wait to get going.

super%20cup%20result_zpsbybdfn3r.jpg

Urge to kill...rising.

Ferronikeli 1-0 Prishtina - How I lost this game is completely beyond me. I dominated the game from start to finish and until the 92nd minute they had scored with their only shot of the game. It was a loss but it wasn't a demoralising loss. If I played that way in every game I should win 9 times out of 10 and to do it against last season's champions, I wasn't going to let my head drop.

Stupid competition. I didn't want to win it anyway.

We now had to pick ourselves up as the league starts.

august%20fixtures_zps4hhxdr5o.jpg

Now that's how you pick yourself up!

Prishtina 5-1 Ferizaj - They had only just come up from the first division so this isn't exactly a surprising result. That being said 5 goals from 5 different goalscorers was encouraging. The damage was done in the first half meaning we could take our foot off the gas in the second half. They once again scored with 1 of only 2 shots on goal.

Besa (P) 0-3 Prishtina - A local derby (as you all would have been aware) so naturally the build up was both managers slagging each other off. We came out fighting and for the first time Ahmet Januzi gave the sort of performance I was expecting. Good start.

Trepca '89 0-3 Prishtina - Make that great start, although 3-0 flattered. Trepca are a good team and battled very hard this game. It was even throughout, we just took our chances and they didn't. Maybe I owe my goalkeeper an apology beer. Oh god I hope they drink beer in Kosovo!

All of which left the early table looking like this. 

table%20after%203_zpscc7wskkk.jpg

Only team with a 100% record but the always deadly Ferronikeli are breathing down our necks.

Things I have learned

The Kosovo Super Cup is a crap cup nobody wants to win.

My Goalkeeper is only 17 and buying him that apology beer was a very dangerous move.

A few more Albanian words.

Still to come...

The months leading up to the Winter break (I will be moving to a warmer country...like Scotland).

The start of the Kosovo Cup!

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Chapter 1.6 "I lehtë i lehtë i lehtë"

It was important we didn't let our guard down. We had started well but FM has a way of hitting you hard when you least suspect it!

september%20fixtures_zpshojn7qjr.jpg

Boom! 100% month. 100% Season so far. The Kosovo Superleague has been a breeze so far although some of the games have seen some squeaky bum moments.

Prishtina 2-0 Drenica - This game wasn't won until the 93rd minute and it was touch and go for a while. A string of fine saves from my now sober goalkeeper. Januzi is worth his weight at the moment. At this stage he has scored 8 goals in 4 games. Crucial.

10-1_zps91hzfahr.jpg

Just thought I'd let the screenshot do the talking. 

Never before have I won a game like this...and yes I know what your all thinking and I can't believe we conceded either.

This game shows the power of starting a game...going to the toilet to let the first half play out then coming back for the second half. 

Score while I was in the toilet 7-0

Score when I was out the toilet 3-1.

Go figure.

Prishtina 7-0 Trepca - Another massive result and at this time I was pretty much expecting this type of result every game. I made a prediction that although I hardly had a team the rest of the league was even worse. I don't think I'm a good manager or I have a good team. I think I'm just the least worst team in the league.

face%20the%20impossible_zpsclzpdm7f.jpg 

Revenge is a dish best serves impossibly!

impossible%20my%20arse_zpsz0nvcpa4.jpg

Much like the cull of Kosovo and Niger managers I suspect somebody got fired from Bet190 after giving me odds of 10/1 despite the undefeated start.

Ferronikeli 2-3 Prishtina - It was actually a really close game. We fell behind quite early on but managed to turn it around before half time...blah blah blah it says everything you need to know in the screenshot above.

Pristina 3-0 Drita - A team struggling in the league against top of the table and a very straight forward victory. No fuss just the way I like it. Although it was at this point, suspensions and injuries were starting to creep in meaning those pesky greyed out players were making a return.

Liria 2-3 Prishtina  - Wow a get out of jail free card was used here. 1-0 down booooo 1-1 yaaaay 2-1 down boooo 2-2 yaaay. Hang on its the 75th minute and we are drawing my 100% record is going to...oh no there it is 3-2 yaaaay. BBC website will find my CV in the post.

So another successful month means the league looks like this after 10 games because I took the screenshot after the first game in October by accident *Spoiler Alert* I draw!

table%20after%2010_zpsxjpiqpw0.jpg

Despite that evil draw I had a healthy 7 point lead. Teams play each other 3 teams in a season so it was far from over just yet.

Things I've Learnt

I'm best off spending the first half on the loo.

I need to stop hovering over the league table when I'm taking a screenshot.

There is no legal drinking age in Kosovo so I'm golden!

Coming Up

The much anticipated start of the Kosovo Cup

October's fixtures which include a scintillating 0-0 draw ;) 

 

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Chapter 1.7 "The Cup Begins...Finally!"

So after a really good start October began.

remaining%20fixtures_zpsbiq8aaxc.jpg

What! A draw! I bet nobody saw that coming! :ackter:

Liapi 0-0 Prishtina - Terrible game, neither side could hit a barn door. They could have played until 3017 and it would have stayed 0-0...and everybody would be very tired.

Rilindja e Kosoves 0-2 Prishtina - I was drawn away to an amature team and proceeded to make a dogs dinners out it. 0-0 at HT and I started to panic. Luckily we showed up in the second half and eventually secured out passage into the next round. 

Prishtina 3-0 Ferizaj - Normal service resumed in the league as we kept another clean sheet. It seems my defensive worries were all for nothing. Started strong and ended strong. Even at this early stage I can't see myself losing the league title.

Prishtina 3-0 Besa (P) - More verbal slagging and another derby thumping. Choruses of "Can we play you every week" ring around the dugout as I dig the knife in the Besa managers side even more. I'm told to calm down and retake my seat.

Gijilani 0-3 Prishtina - This was a very even game. The difference was fitness, they completely ran out of steam and we took full advantage. The advantage of actual players rather than greyed out players is shinning through.

Prishtina 4-0 Trepca '89 - Again all the damage was done in the 2nd half as they began to tire. There is a winter break coming up at the end of November so it will be interesting to see weather or not teams actually start acquiring players.

So 1 draw and several victories leaves the table looking like this.

table%20after%2014_zpsdovcg0va.jpg

A more than comfortable 9 point lead. We have only dropped 2 points all season and the question won't be weather or not I can win the league. It will be can I do it unbeaten. It's all been too easy so far. I'm expecting something bad to happen soon...

Things I've Learnt

At £400p/w I have the easiest job in the world.

Kosovo must get really cold during the winter.

I never learn when it comes to taking screenshots of the league table.

Coming Up

Literally two games then nothing...for 3 months...I hope I still get paid.

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On 13/01/2017 at 13:01, deltablue said:

Pristine start to the league season.

I would have gotten away with it too had it not been for that pesky draw!

On 15/01/2017 at 00:00, ManUtd1 said:

Excellent work thus far!

Thank you! I'm finding Kosovo a lot easier than anticipated. Please do not expect this level of management throughout!

Chapter 1.8 "A very very brief history of winter"

So I mentioned Kosovo takes a big break between November and January...why? I hear you ask.

Well apparently the average temperature in Kosovo in the Winter is −10 °C. I really need to find that electric blanket. I'm sure I brought it with me!

So yeah...you know the feeling of being adamant you took a screenshot of something then not being able to find it anywhere? Seems my fixtures have gone walkies and I don't know where. I have lost November and one fixture in February :seagull:

So anyway here's how the table looked at the end of November heading into the winter break.

winter%20break_zpsnnyouudr.jpg

I won all 4 games to open up a 15 point lead going into the winter break. Those cold cold nights suddenly feel a lot warmer!

So onto the window break and the ever exciting Kosovo transfer window! 

Remember that Adnan Januzi who I tipped as being my goal machine...my go-to man...my leader...

januzi%20leaving_zpsmmiogwol.jpgYQdJQjNYpBY8Z9bO.jpg?now=2016-01-07-03-2

But in all fairness to him Kosovo or Israel...Kosovo or Israel....Kosovo or Israel? Plus the money we made off him meant I suddenly look awesome in the finances department. Now the lie on my CV actually looks genuine!

We lost another player to a bigger team during the break but one I could live with. With the revenue from two sales I tried my best to either replace or strengthen but with a 15 point lead I wasn't sweating too much on this.

kaptina_zpsyjqso0zf.jpgteixeria_zpslx81idhe.jpg2duraku_zpsxmoact0v.jpg

I just wanted to make sure everybody knew what the "Off The Ball" attribute does. And I needed to make sure you all knew that attributes are between 1-20 (seriously I need to get better at these screenshots).

I have positive vibes about Jorge Teixeira. I think he's going to be a really good striker for us and a great replacement for Januzi. 

tex%20injuried_zpsyjqneako.jpg

On second thoughts, I've always liked my 3rd choice striker...yeah he always gets the job done!

Injuries were quite common and sometimes well timed. Kaptina the crap CB I signed in January also got injured, wasn't really cut up about that one. 

Leci who has been a rock at the back for me also came to me asking to move away from the club. Fair enough, I told him I would accept a bid if it materialises.

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Hope he isn't waiting by the phone for that call! 

Summary!

Number of wins - 4

Number of signings - 3

Number of injured signings - 2

Number of leg breaks - 2

Number of milk contracts ordered - 1

Still to come...

The rest of the Kosovo season

Impending new country loaded?

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Chapter 1.9 "It's Spring why is it still so F****** cold!"

So the transfer window had been slammed shut and Jim White went into hibernation until Summer. Back on with the football! 

The game I lost the screenshot for in February...I won. I know shocker right. Onto March!

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Prishtina 1-0 Liria - The job was done but it wasn't clinical. In fact it was my 2nd straight 1-0 win after the lost February game and it was also the 2nd game in a row where my strikers didn't score. Maybe losing Januzi is going to be bigger than I thought. But a win is a win, my unbeaten record is still there.

Llapi 1-0 Prishtina - This feeling...its new...its scary...I don't like it. So the unbeaten season has come to an end. Its worth pointing out that Llapi were 11th out of 12. Its also worth pointing out that I have only not won 2 games all season...both of which were against Llapi. I have one more chance to beat them this season otherwise they are going to get a very strange friendly request in 40 years when I'm manager of Bayern Munich!

Prishtina 3-2 Gjilani - Talk about leaving it till the last minute, the 92nd minute to be precise. I'm winning games (that aren't against Llapi) but its become less than convincing. With the big gap between us and the others its fair to say my players are already assuming the title is in the bag.

Prishtina 3-1 Ferizaj - A more comfortable win on paper but i was drawing until the 70th minute. Something needs to change, we need to get back to the domineering team we were before the cold weather set in.

Prishtina 4-1 Trepca '89 - Top vs 2nd in the cup and it was a good game. It was 3-0 at half time and looking comfortable then they starting coming back into it. The game wasn't put to bed until the 90th minute. Close but I was happy the double was still on. 3 out of the current top 4 make up the Semi so either way its not going to be a walk in the park.

So after a successful if not nervous month what did it leave the table looking like?

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The gap was still 15 points and with only 30 points left to play for the league was practically over. 

Summary!

Number of losses - 1

Number of darts thrown at a picture of the Llapi manager - 362

Number of darts to actually hit the picture of the Llapi manager - 59

Number of wins needed to win the league - 5

Still to come!

A very busy April

The much anticipated revenge fixture against Llapi.

A screenshot of the saddest game of football ever played

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Chapter 1.10 "Make it So"

So with a 15 point gap and only 10 games to go this month was the month we could claim the title. 

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Besa (P) 1-3 Prishtina - Another derby win 3 out of 3 against them and the bragging rights are well and truly ours. We were slow to get going yet again but the 2nd half was brilliant. 

Prishtina 2-1 Trepca '89 - This is where realistically the title was won. The opposite of the last game, we started strong but finished poorly. In fact we were hanging on a bit towards the end. In the end we picked up the 3 points which pretty much made sure of it.

Drenica 1-2 Prishtina - How we turned this around I have no idea. We were awful, we fell behind early on and then I watched 11 players play the worse game of horse ever. Eventually we struck with 9 minutes to go and I was happy with a point, I was delighted when we snatched all 3.

Hajvalia 1-2 Prishtina - Straight forward win in the end. Hajvalia did well scoring with 0 shots on target, my defender however had a nightmare as a shot cannoned in off his arse. It was a win that meant we needed 1 point from the next 6 games. I wasn't worried.

Prishtina 6-1 Trepca - The league title was clenched and in style too. We dominated from start to finish and looked deadly. It was the sort of game I got used to watching at the start of the season. League won, not we could concentrate on winning the cup.

Ferronikeli 2-6 Prishtina -  If there is one team I could beat all season it would be Llapi! But 2nd on that list is Ferronikeli mainly because they are the only other team I have lost a competitive fixture against. 3 out of 3 in the league however. All the defenders should have been round up and shot after this game but I wasn't complaining at the full time whistle.

Prishtina 4-0 Drita - At this point it was just a case of get through the games with as little fuss as possible. This ticked all the boxes. 4 goals, clean sheet and a boring 2nd half.

Prishtina 4-2 Liria - First Leg of the semi final was going smoothly at 4-0. The tie was in the bag but Liria have threatened to make a game out of it with two quick fire goals in the 2nd half. I'd still back my team all the way but things got slightly uncomfortable. It could have been worse however as Liria missed a golden chance at the death to make it 4-3.

So all of which leads to this table with 3 games to go.

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And my way came the plaudits. "Brilliant" "Amazing" "5 star" "If you hire only one manage this year make it this one". You know the usual.

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I've never had such an easy time winning a league and I suspect the next country will be very tricky indeed. 

Summary!

Number of Titles won - 1

Number of defenders shot - 4

Number of Albanian words learnt - The basic ones. (Seriously after a full year of living in Albania I only speak Albania at a basic level)

Still to come...

The final 3 games of the season including the saddest game of football ever played.

The drawing of a new country!

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Bet you didn't expect to win a national title in the first year of your career! Well done.

Did you not tick "add players to playable teams" when setting up your game? That might explain why you had so few players, with mostly greyed out. These edited-in leagues activate a lot of teams whose squads are incomplete (or even completely empty) in the database, so you need to tick that option for FM to fill up the rest of the squads with fictional players.

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18 minutes ago, noikeee said:

Bet you didn't expect to win a national title in the first year of your career! Well done.

Did you not tick "add players to playable teams" when setting up your game? That might explain why you had so few players, with mostly greyed out. These edited-in leagues activate a lot of teams whose squads are incomplete (or even completely empty) in the database, so you need to tick that option for FM to fill up the rest of the squads with fictional players.

I knew I had one of the better teams so I thought I could do well but didn't anticipate it being this easy!

Odds are if its not ticked to begin with I didn't tick add players to playable teams. I checked some teams in Niger and most have players but some still have a few greyed out players. 

Could this be a problem further down the line? Is there something I can do in game to help?

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Chapter 1.11 "A double in the making?"

So with the title done and dusted there were just a few things to settle in the run up to the end of the season. I needed to A win the cup and mostly importantly B finally beat Llapi!

But first I would like to present to you the most depressing game in the history of football!

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"Its 3-1 to Prishtina and Derek has gone wild!" Disclaimer: We didn't give him a lift home with us.

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Liria 1-3 Prishtina - A whopping 1 person saw this game. He went home happy, on his own, following the team bus. It was actually mentally a big game because we had just beaten them 4-2 in the first leg of the cup. We beat them 3-1 here so it gave us confidence heading into the 2nd leg that maybe the tie was over.

Prishtina 5-1 Llapi - Finally at the 3rd attempt we beat Llapi! We didn't go easy on them either going 3-0 up within the first 8 minutes. We did do the kind thing and let them win the 2nd half. In fact if you break down this seasons fixtures against Llapi, we had a good 45 minutes, the rest we got beat or drew.

Gjiani 2-2 Prishtina -  A very anticlimactic finish to the season as we drew 2-2 despite leading twice. I wasn't angry...I was just disappointed. Wasn't the ideal preparation mentally for the cup semi and potential final.

It left the league table looking like this at the end of the season. 

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Yeah if nobody would point out the team I struggle against the most finished bottom...that would be great.

30 wins out of 33. 20 points better than anybody else. It was a great season in the league, But how did we do in the cup?

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Liria 1-3 Prishtina - It was exactly the same in the league as it was in the cup but this was close! We went behind and suddenly the agg score was 4-3 despite being 4-0 up at half time in the first leg! Luckily we railed and managed to put the tie to bed. Agg score was 7-3 but somehow it felt like we had just scraped through.

We faced our heated rivals Besa (P) in the final. We have beaten them all 3 times this season but there is something about a cup final that says "anything can happen".

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Phew! 

Prishtina 1-0 Besa (P) - It was a close game, we dominated and scored early on but couldn't quite put the game to bed. The relief was there for all to see at the full time whistle. I started life in Kosovo with a Super Cup defeat but ended it with a Cup Final win. It had been a brilliant season really.

So a nice league and cup double to start my life as a football manager. Not a single badge to speak of but at least I can now say I have experience. Onwards and upwards. 

Summary!

Number of trophies won - 2

Number of trophies lost - 1

Number of legs still broken - 2

Number of ales drank after the cup win - UNKNOWN

Still to come!

Should I stay or should I go?

A new country is revealed!

 

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Chapter 1.12 "Hello Darkness my old friend."

So without further ado. The next country loaded up on my epic trip around the world is...

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France!

France...the country which is a stones throw away from England. 

Well this save is getting more and more exotic as the years go by.

Here is a quick summary of my first ever season in Management.

end%20of%20season%20overview_zpssgfz2yycend%20of%20season%20rewards_zpswzd88yh3.

No surprises for guessing what my worst result was! My stadium was only 1% full on average. I don't even want to think what it would have been if I had been losing every week! I can also assure you that the two AMC are in fact different people with practically the same name...it didn't ever get confusing at all!

So on the back of a double winning season I did the same thing any self respecting football manager would do. I went looking for employment elsewhere. 

My first decision was to stay as manager of Prishtina. I figured while I'm looking for a job I might as well use Prishtina to study a coaching badge, continue learning Albanian and generally give my managerial record a really good shot in the arm.

This lasted literally until I was offered an interview at a team called AS FAN in Niger. They have just finished 3rd and was looking for somebody to help them reclaim their crown. I was that man! I aced the interview. Everything was going smoothly until they turn around and say they can't afford the compensation fee!

I begged the chairman of Prishtina to waver the compensation fee. He told me exactly where to shove that request.

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SEE YA!

With my dream job in Niger in tatters I was left applying for literally anything I can see. I applied for a few jobs in the Chile First Division B. I always get interviews but somehow somebody always beat me to it. It was like winning the Kosovo Superleague and Kosovo Cup meant nothing to anybody!

I applied for a few Ligue 2 jobs without getting an interview (yeah even I thought I was punching above my weight there).

The closest I got was a Ligue 2 team who were bottom, they thought about giving me an interview, then decided against it!

Finally a job came open in the French National League (Tier 3) they were chasing promotion. I declared my interest and suddenly I was favourite for the job. I attended the interview and was already practising my French. When another job became available. A better club on paper, a better league on paper and they were favourites to finish top. But the French team could be a really big chance to get into a country known for its football and really make a name for myself. 

I just didn't know where I would end up...

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Chapter 2 "From one Chile country to another"

See what I did there?!

I applied for a job in the Chile Division B which is the 2nd tier over in Chile. I had apply for numerous jobs in that division, always getting an interview but not quite doing enough to secure the job. I even applied for the same job twice! Finally I was offered a position at the same time a team in the French National League came knocking. I thought about it for like a second then decided I needed a fresh start in a different continent! That and I wanted to leave France as a possibility when my reputation might be slightly higher!

I forgot to mention as well I stayed with Prishtina long enough to take part in the Kosovo Supercup where I faced Besa (P) again. It was 2nd time lucky this time however as I beat them on penalties. The fact I was taken to penalties shows how much the other teams have caught up this season and if I had stayed for another Kosovo season I wouldn't have walked away with it.

Anyway enough chitchat. Its time to introduce my new team!

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Can you guess who it is yet?

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San Marcos de Arica. The "Sign high profile players" was very much me being a yes man in the interview. "Yes boss, no boss, three bags full boss".

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That 26 hour flight was a killer! But I did manage to watch "Just Go With It" 3 times and enjoy the finest cuisine Air Kosovo had to offer.

Believe it or not that is the best picture of the stadium I could actually find. It doesn't looks much but I imagine the improvement after playing in front of Derek is Kosovo will be massive. (Look it up I bet Derek is a very popular name is Kosovo)

So I had landed on my feet in a very different part of the world with another new language to learn! Only Spanish I know is "dos cervezas por favor" so at least I'll be able to get hammered still. 

So what sort of team did I inherit?

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So the squad I inherited looked fairly ordinary and last season was smack bang in the middle of ordinary. 

Now this is where I'm confused. Last season was only 15 matches long. I assumed they did an Opening and Closing stage but when I've looked at the rules its just a straight 30 games league. Nothing fancy just 30 games, winner goes up, 2nd goes into a playoff with the team that finished second bottom in the First Division.

But as you can see this team requires improvement if I'm going to stand any chance of going up this season and ticking Chile off my list.

Summary!

Number of new jobs - 1

Number of Spanish words known - 4

Number of estimated seasons in Chile - 9

Still to come!

The transfer window including new signings

Competition overview and expectations

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Chapter 2.2 "An Argentine in Arica"

With the transfer window fast approaching I wasted no time exploring the market. I stuck to what I knew best. Raiding the free transfer list and hoping for the best. 

These were the best I could find...

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Overall I was happy with my transfer activity.

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I was excited about Eric Pino. My aim was to play 4-2-2-2 all across the middle so Pino fit perfectly into this system in the AMC role. He could be the key to the whole season.

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Hernan Lopes was a solid centre back. It was a position that needed strength in depth and Lopes would give me that in spades.

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I also felt I needed more quality up front and he would be great in a Deep Lying Forward role which is something I like one of my strikers to play.

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Finally Flores was going to fit perfectly well with Pino. He would hopefully create the chances necessary as my formation we tend to concede a lot. I like to play with the mentality of "Oh you've scored 4 so what we just knocked our 5th in".

It may have escaped your attention that all 4 new players were Argentinian. It was at this moment I decided to check the foreign policy of the league. Yeah probably something I should have done before I decided to raid an Argentinian village.

Luckily the rule stated no more than 7 foreign players. The rule that would could potentially bite me in the butt was "Club needs at least 2 players under 20 in the match day squad. I knew I should have snatched the Argentinian children as well!

I was able to use my obviously huge reputation to convince players to stay so I can happily report there were no departures.

So what did the board expect of me for the season?

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Finish 2nd or else basically. The Chile Cup doesn't start until near the end of the season so I had no excuse to not focus 100% on the league.

Now I need a ruling from people.

If I win the league that's fine. I'm promotion as champions I've officially won a cup that the board wants me too so I'm free to move on. 

However if I get to the playoff and win I'm promoted but does it count as a cup win and will I be free to move on? Please let me know what you think.

Things I've Learnt!

I have an untapped fetish for Argentinian players.

How to order three beers!

Still to come!

Who the bookies favourites are.

Friendlies

The start of the Chile Season!

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Chapter 2.3 "Where I come from there's no such thing as a friendly!"

Transfers complete the only thing left were the predictions and the friendlies.

I'll start with the friendlies. What better way to begin than with a friendly against the team who have just been relegated into Division 1B and are the bookies favourite to bounce straight back up.

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San Marcos de Arica 6-1 Santiago Wanderers - What a start to life at my new club. A 6-1 hammering. We were the best team from start to finish with the only downside coming late on with a conciliation goal for them. Keep this up and Chile could be over and done with quicker than I though.

San Marcos de Arica 2-1 Melgar - Peru's finest (well maybe not finest) were no match although this was a much closer and tighter game than the first game. Sure they scored more goals than me but considering one was an own goal I wasn't complaining. A couple of steps forward.

Provincial Osorno 0-3 San Marcos de Arica - A comfortable second half after a very dull first. These were in the division below us so it was expected we won. Going forward we need the performances like the second half rather than the first.

Colchangua 1-0 San Marcos de Arica -  First blip and no complaints. They were the better side from start to finish and we looked a bit toothless. Should I be worried that this team were also a division below or should I just accept it was a friendly and move on.

Nearly a perfect preseason and only one little blip meant that the pre season odds looked like this.

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Now I don't want to toot my own trumpet or anything but Santiago Wanderers were favourites before I hammered them 6-1 in the preseason friendly and I immediately jumped to top. Something tells me its just not going to be that simple. 

Reason why I've come to that conclusion is because by the time I had played a few games in the league I was constantly getting a similar message and its lead to this.

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It seemed like everyday was a new injury. They range from the masculine "dead leg" to something little like "Damaged cruciate ligaments". Either way injuries were starting to pile up! Just in time for the new season.

Summary!

Number of friendly wins - 3

Number of hospital beds free - 0

Appropriate level of hope - High

Still to come!

Chile season gets into full swing.

The dressing room starts looking like a football dressing room rather than an episode of "Casualty"

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Chapter 2.4 "A change is in the air"

I was excited to start the season. I had high hopes for a successful campaign although the injuries filled the air with doubt.

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In 33 league games with Prishtina I drew 2 and lost 1. I've nearly matched that with San Marcos de Arica in 3 games!

Deportes Puerto Montt 2-1 San Marcos de Arica - First the second time in a row I had lost the first competitive fixture with a new team and much like this first this one stunk. I was the better team all game but went behind early on. I pressed and pressed and pressed until finally with only 8 minutes to go I equalised. I went hell for leather to grab the winner and got smacked by a counter. Sucker punch result to get the season off to the worse possible start!

San Marcos de Arica 2-1 Union San Felipe - The away side finished bottom last season so I was expecting an easier game but instead I had to wait until the 85th minute for the winner. I had taken a well deserved lead just before half time. I was happy at the break and told them not to get complacent. They got complacent 3 minutes into the second half and we were level. Much like the first game I huffed and puffed and finally blew their house in with 5 minutes to go. My first competitive win in Chile but not my most convincing as a manager!

Barnechea 1-1 San Marcos de Arica - This team had just been promoted so once again I expected more than I got. We went into the half behind and were lucky enough to get a penalty at the start of the second. Once again the game was dominated largely by me we were just unable to work the keeper enough. A disappointing draw saw the end of a disappointing opening first month in Chile.

I didn't think it was worth taking a screenshot of the league table at this early point of the season (that and I wasn't top of it and I didn't want you to see me like that!) So onwards we move to March.

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San Marcos de Arica 3-0 Everton (CHI) - This was just what the doctor ordered, not just a win but a big win. Everton were one of the favourites to go up but sit bottom with 0 points after this game.

Deportes Valdivia 2-0 San Marcos de Arica - This was the most spineless performance I have ever seen on any FM. It was so bad and we got everything we deserved. The performance was that bad that it made me change my tactic for the first time in this save. My usual formation just wasn't cutting it any more.

San Marcos de Arica 1-0 Deportes La Serena - The change of tactic produced an uninspiring win but a win none the less. We were the better team and were deserving of the 69th minute goal but something was still missing, something just wasn't clicking.

Union La Calera 1-1 San Marcos de Arica - A draw was the fair result, it was a very even game and we were delighted to snatch a point. We worked hard against a tough team and were happy with a point in the end.

Deportes Santa Cruz 0-1 San Marcos de Arica - This was a massive result as Santa were top at the start of play so it was important to pick something up, the fact that something was a win was just a bonus. We probably snatched it a little as they were the better side but we worked hard and some would argue we deserved the 3 points. It could be a massive stepping stone in this season.

So after two months and 8 games the table looked like this.

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I am looking at the table and thinking, that could have been a lot worse. 6th isn't great but the fact we are only 3 points off top feels me with confidence. Shoutout to Union La Calera who have drawn 7 out of 8 games, pride to be apart of those draws!

Summary!

Games lost out of 40 games in Kosovo - 2

Games lost out of 8 games in Chile - 2

Number of Spanish words learnt - All the nasty, hateful ones.

Still to come!

April in Chile.

That's it. April in Chile.

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6 minutes ago, vossmaj said:

What a great read! And a decent start in Chile. Seems to be your first real challenge. Kosovo was too easy for you. What exactly was the rule that you need our ruling on?

Thanks for the feedback! Really appreciate it. Kosovo was way too easy. It was just a case of flying through it to get it out of the way. I'm really enjoying Chile at the moment, my wife not so much. Safe to say I was in better moods winning all the time with Prishtina!

The ruling I need is whether or not going up via the Playoffs is enough to move on from Chile if indeed that's what happens. Or would I need to win the league or a cup to successfully move on. Basically its whether or not a Playoff win counts as a cup or not.

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Chapter 2.5 "Red Hot Chile Peppers"

See what I did there eh eh eh? Did you?

Anyway onto April now. 

Still no cup so its league all the way.

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San Marcos de Arica 4-0 Santiago Morning - Now that's more like it! We took our foot off the gas in the second half we had earned the right to do so. Some brilliant and clinical football in the first half was enough to give us a morale boosting win. The half time hairdryer is slowly collecting dust. 

San Marcos de Arica 1-0 Santiago Wanderers - Not quite the 6-1 thrashing we gave them in preseason but a result that meant so much more. Truth be told we were second best in this game but we got the early goal and we did very well to pick up the 3 points. My goalkeepers definitely earned a pint after the game. Don't worry I'll double check his age and drinking laws this time.

Deportes Copiapo 2-2 San Marcos de Arica - How we got a point here I will never know. We were dominated from start to finish. They took the lead early but we bounced back brilliantly. From then on it was like the Alamo. They peppered our goal mercilessly. In the end the pressure told and we were 2-1 down. It looked like it was going to be more but our defence kept us in it. In the 75th minute my attack thanked the defence with a brilliant equaliser and we held on for what was a valuable point against a team who started the weekend top.

San Marcos de Arica 4-0 Coquimbo Unido - We ended the month how we started, a very comfortable 4-0 home victory. This time 2 goals in each half gave us the most complete 90 minutes we have put in so far. Nothing much to say about it other than it capped off a very successful month.

So after 10 points out of 12 the table looked like this.

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Its a little close at the top. Suddenly those two 4-0 victories are looking priceless. 

Also this month I grabbed my second coaching badge thanks to the good good people at San Marcos de Arica.

Summary 

Number of drunk and disorderly charges against my keeper - 2

Number of goals score this month - 11

Number of teams happy with the goal difference rule - 1

Number of teams unhappy with the goal difference rule - 3

Still to come!

The halfway point in the Chile league 

Eventually the start of the Chile Cup.

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Hahaha..between Derek and snatching Argentinean children, you've played a frickin blinder here! And you're not even relying on cheap tricks (eg, Foals lyrics when managing Die Fohlen) for post titles. Tremendous work, and great progress!

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16 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

Hahaha..between Derek and snatching Argentinean children, you've played a frickin blinder here! And you're not even relying on cheap tricks (eg, Foals lyrics when managing Die Fohlen) for post titles. Tremendous work, and great progress!

I feel I may have let you down with the Chile puns however. Thanks for the feedback, really appreciate it. 

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Chapter 2.6 "I don't like change!"

So into May we go and it was a mixed bag of a month to say the least.

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San Marcos de Arica 4-1 Rangers (CHI) - This was nothing less than we expected, this team was bottom and struggling. The first half was terrible with only a few shots between us. I told the lads at half time "I need to see more from you, you look like a team who doesn't want to win" to which they told me to screw off. 4 minutes later we were 3-0 up. Am I the best manipulator of Chilean and Argentinian footballers or what! 

Cobreloa 1-0 San Marcos de Arica - We must have had Mike Dean as the referee here. 2 goals disallowed (one for each side) about a billion yellow cards (maybe a slight exaggeration), a sending off (for me) and to top it all off a late late winner from the home side. Lucky the baby was already in bed otherwise she would have learnt a lot of new and colourful words (mainly in Spanish though).

San Marcos de Arica 1-1 Magallanes - One of those games here, we were punished for not killing them off. We took an early lead and bossed the game without securing the result. Which meant the oldest cliche was there "will they be punished for not putting this game to bed". Yes...yes we were.

San Marcos de Arica 6-0 Deportes Puerto Montt - Everything aligned perfectly here. Cool calm finishing, good defending and we spanked one of the title challengers 6-0. It was good revenge as these beat us with a last minute winner on opening day. I kind of feel bad for hurling poop at the managers window after that game now.

So after a mixed bag month it left the table looking like this. (I may have jumped the gun with the screenshot as the weekend fixture list wasn't complete).

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There is potentially 3 points separating the top 5 at the half way point +1. Things are tighter than sharing a single bed with John Goodman.

Summary!

Number of hours community service for throwing poop - 40

Number of times the league leader changed hands - 4 (Yes there was literally a new leader after every set of fixture this month...chapter titles making sense now isn't it).

Still to come!

June fixtures and tables 

The fabled Chile Cup...soon...I promise...

 

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Chapter 2.7 "Again! Again!"

June was a another month where teams just refused to hold the burden of leading the league. 

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Union San Felipe 0-1 San Marcos de Arica - This wasn't a great game, both sides just seemed to go through the motions. I expected more coming off the back of such a big win but with how close teams are 3 points is more important than a big win. 

San Marcos de Arica 4-2 Barnechea - I was 2-1 down with 10 minutes to go in this game and was waiting for the sweet release of the final whistle so I could retreat back to my office to get my secret bottle of Johnnie Walker. Then something amazing happened, we actually turned domination into a goal, and then another and then another. Suddenly we went from 2-1 down to winning 4-2. I actually started to believe we could win this league. Quick back to my office for a celebratory Johnnie Walker!

Everton (CHI) 2-1 San Marcos de Arica - And there's the hangover! We started like a house on fire, then we slowly burnt down as the rest of the 89 minutes ticked on. By the final whistle we had no cause for complaints as the better team won. Every time we threaten to pull away we blow it.

Deportes La Serena 1-1 San Marcos de Arica - Exhibit B! Again we took the lead and again we blew it. We were the better side here but once again we failed to turn dominance into 3 points. A recurring theme. I'm starting to run out of boots to throw at the players.

So after a carbon copy of May (2 wins 1 draw 1 loss) the table looked like this.

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We had relinquished top spot and the teams at the top start to separate a little bit. 10 games to go and this one was going to do all the way. The one major plus we have is our Goal Difference because its looking likely that could be a deciding factor.

I've left the Chile Cup up as proof there is one. In fact its next month. Yay! Except we drew Cobresal...who are 3rd...in the division above us. Oh well at least I'll get to concentrate on promotion!

Summary!

Number of leads squandered - 2

Number of stitches from successful boot hits - 16

Hopes I have of winning the league - I have absolutely no idea!

Still to come!

The 2 legged slaughter in the Chile Cup

1 league game. 1 poxy league game! 

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Chapter 2.8 "Bonjour!"

As you may have guessed this chapter has a French theme. So without further ado I would like to introduce my new side!

France...

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...Under 21's.

I was quite surprised to be honest it could be a potential stepping stone in my career. Either way it won't hurt my reputation.

Anyway onto the important matters at hand. The Chile Cup!

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Well it was a good ride while it lasted!

San Marcos de Arica 2-4 Cobresal - No question it was going to be a hard task but we actually acquitted ourselves well over two legs. Here we were in dream land as two quick goals fired us into a 2-1 lead, unfortunately we couldn't hold on as their quality shined through. No complaints and no anger towards the scoreline.

Cobresal 2-1 San Marcos de Arica - This one stung a little as we were actually the better side. We end down early on but responded just after half time. Only needing 2 goals (yeah I said only) we pushed forward and actually looked dangerous. Pity our strikes decided today was they day they couldn't hit a barn door! We conceded a last gasp penalty to ensure we lost both legs. 6-3 aggregate score wasn't bad on reflection. All that wait for the cup to start and its over in a flash!

San Marcos de Arica 2-0 Deportes Valdivia - This was a huge win. It snapped a winless streak and gave us a bit of confidence heading into the closing stages of the season. It looked like it was going to be one of those days until the 75th minute with a massive stroke of luck (I like to think it went in off his arse) put us in the lead before we sealed the deal. Hugh win.

So what did that 1 game do to the table.

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A Deportes Copiapo loss was enough to send us back to the top of the table. Although with 9 games to go even 5th will still fancy their chances.

I would bet my holiday home in Prishtina, Kosovo that wouldn't be the final lead change of the season!

Summary!

Number of months waiting for the Chile Cup to start - 7

Number of days spent actually competing in the Chile Cup - 7

Number of wins this month - 1

Still to come!

The exciting final few months of the Chile season

Updates on how France U21 are doing in the U21 European Champions Qualifiers (say that 3 times when drunk).

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Chapter 2.9 "Things are fiery, like a good Chile"

I'm apologise for another Chile pun, I just couldn't resist.

Now I'm out of the cup it gave me chance to focus sorely on the league and the whopping...two games I played in September. 9 games spread over 4 months. Way to prolong the agony the organisers of the Chile First Division B!

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San Marcos de Arica 2-0 Union La Celera - Back to back 2-0 wins was just what the doctor ordered and suddenly I'm starting to look like a team who can go all the way. A goal in both halves was the difference. We weren't really troubled and it was good to see them finally but a team to bed for once.

Santiago Morning 1-1 San Marcos de Arica - So yeah, back to the drawing board it would seem. Took the lead and was pegged back. I don't want to know how many times I've dropped points from winning positions. To be fair though it was an even game and a fair result. If we had gone behind and pegged them back I would be happy as it happens I'm not!

Unbeaten month!

Table!

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I will take a 4 point lead into another month with only 2 games. 7 games to go. I'm still not confident as I've got to play both 2nd and 3rd before the season ends. In fact Cobreloa at home is my final game! I'll make sure Derek gets a ticket.

Summary!

Number of temper tantrums - 1

Number of points clear - 4

Number of points left to play for - 21

Still to come!

The exciting conclusion of the Chile season

France U21 progress (I promise)

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Chapter 2.10 "Wake me up when September ends"

The chapter title has no relevance other than this will update the September fixtures. I know clever right.

September fixtures! All 2 of them!

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San Marcos de Arica 1-2 Deportes Santa Cruz - I know what your thinking. Down to 10 men (although if you are thinking that I will be worried because nowhere on the screenshot does it say I was down to 10 men) and a 90th minute consolation, nothing out of the ordinary. That 90th minute goal I scored...that was an equaliser. I lost this game in the 93rd minute. My laptop's life flashed before its eyes. How it survived will be a question it will constantly ask itself until its harvested for parts. When the 93rd minute goal went in my colourful language received a disapproving head shake from the wife. It was almost like she wasn't bothered as I explained the significance! Anyway long story short, lost 2-1. Bad times.

Santiago Wanderers 0-1 San Marcos de Arica - This is when I called it a night. I was destoryed from start to finish here. I've never seen an onslaught as big as this. When I grabbed what turned out to be the winner I stuck 11 men behind the ball. I parked the bus, the tank, the aeroplane and Jupiter. Luckily we held on for what could be the biggest 3 points of the season (until the next big 3 points anyway).

So how did that leave the table...I hear you scream.

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3 little points separate myself and Cobreloa. Its going to potentially go all the way. My next fixture? A home tie against Deportes Copiapo.

I went all the way to the next game before saving and quitting. Cobreloa would lose the next game. Basically if I can beat Deportes Copiapo I will be 6 points clear with 4 games to go with a much better goal difference. 

Summary!

Number of times I had sex after telling the wife "I don't care if its just a game" - 0

Number of wins needed to win the league - 3

Still to come!

The last 3 months of the season. Yes 3 months...for 5 games.

France U21 screenshots and results (they are there, I just forgot to take them).

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Chapter 2.11 "That's fine. Who needs good health anyway."

I'm going to let the screenshot do the talking. (And then myself as I describe the screenshot to you).

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San Marcos de Arica 2-2 Deportes Copaipo - On the face of it a draw isn't a bad result. It moves me 4 points clear at the top and gives some breathing room with 4 games to go. Except the fact I was not only 1-0 up but 2-1 up as well. This game has to be seen as 2 points dropped rather than 1 earned.

Rangers (CHI) 4-4 San Marcos de Arica - Speaking of 2 points dropped. I was 4-1 one up in this one at half time. I must have given the worst team talk in the world. We seem to be blowing up right at the wrong time of the season. Our season can be summed up by the amount of points dropped from winning positions and this month we dropped 4. Not good enough at all. At the same time as this result my baby decided to have the screaming fit to end all screaming fits...it wasn't a very good 5 minutes for me.

So two draws meant I was guaranteed to finish the season top but how close was it.

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I may be dropping points but so are the teams around me. 3 points separate the top 3. My only saving grace is my superior goal difference. I still think that could be the difference come December. Either way I wonder what the record is for lowest amount of points needed to win the league!

Summary!

Number of draws - 2

Number of angry press conferences - 2

Number of games left - 3

Still to come!

The gripping end to the season

 

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Chapter 2.12 "The Final Countdown"

As there is only one fixture in December I'll cover it in this bumper update. You lucky lucky people. 

So we entered gameweek 28 with 3 points separating the top 3 teams. It was anybody's game.

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Coquimbo Unido 2-2 San Marcos de Arica - Just to give you a sense of what mood I was in after this game. It was the 3rd draw in a row. It was the 3rd time I have dropped points from winning positions and I was 2-0 up with 5 minutes to go. The equaliser came in the 94th minute and it was one of those moments you would bet your house on it going in.

Luckily Cobreloa lost, unluckily Deportes Puerto Montt won meaning the league table looked like this.

San Marcos de Arica 51

Deportes Puerto Montt 50

Cobreloa 48

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Magallanes 2-8 San Marcos de Arica - Wow wow wow. Where has that been all season! Unbelievable performs and one that comes straight out of left field. I raced into a 3-0 after 16 minutes but refused to celebrate it after seeing a 3 goal lead disappear before. Truth be told even at 7-1 I wasn't counting my chicken especially when it went 7-2! 

It meant I went into the final day of the season top of the table and my destiny in my own hands. I was at home to Cobreloa who could only overtake me if they beat me 11-0. I wasn't ruling that out! It was simple. Win and we are promoted as Champions.

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Was never worried! Was never in doubt!

San Marcos de Arica 5-2 Cobreloa - The uncertainty that had plagued the final months of the season had disappeared and we were something we haven't really been all season, clinical. We dominated from start to finish. Sure I could be upset about conceding 2 goals but I don't care. After a long hard season we had won the league and Chile could be classed as complete!

It seems in my excitement I forgot to take a screenshot of the final league table. Truth be told Deportes Puerto Montt loss in gameweek 29 so I went into the final game pretty much champions. But I couldn't let that get in the way of a good story.

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2nd league championship in 2 years and 2nd country completed. I was very happy indeed. 

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A few days later I resigned and took Chile off the playable list. 

It was a decision I would regret. But more on that later.

So one country out and another one in. Who would be the lucky country?

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Montenegro!

Not going to lie. Its a country I know very little about. 

In the game we are currently in December and the leagues don't load until June. So I faced a long wait with just Niger and France to choose from.

Summary!

Number of leagues won - 2

Number of new nations loaded - 1

Number of jobs currently employed in - 1 (Honestly I am manager of the France U21s!)

On a scale of 1-10 the pain of my headache after celebrating the championship - 1000

Still to come!

European U21 Championship qualification

Down at the job centre 

 

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45 minutes ago, noikeee said:

Great job in Chile, was nowhere near as easy but still completed the task.

Rather nice to see my old side Curicó Unido winning promotion the previous year as well. :thup:

I think I wouldn't have won the league 9 out of 10 times with the amount of points I finished with. Luckily I got the 10th!

I did Chile last season and won promotion with Union San Felipe. Was nice to play them this season, was even better to beat them twice!

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Chapter 2.13 "The wilderness months"

So after a very successful season with San Marcos de Arica I resigned and went in search a new job.

The new country was Montenegro but that wouldn't be loaded up for another 6 months. That left me with clubs in Niger and France.

Even though I have the CFA loaded in France I am unable to apply for jobs there. No idea why but no biggy I still have the top 3 tiers in French football.

Too cut a very long story short this is me 6 months later just before the start of the European U21 Championship.

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I have applied for numerous jobs in France and not attended one single interview. I was cheeky and tried to apply for a couple of Ligue 1 jobs. Wasn't surprised when I didn't make the shortlist. 

I didn't even bat an eyelid when I missed the cut for some Ligue 2 teams.

I have applied for quite a few French National teams but haven't made the shortlist once. Just an interview will peek me up a wee bit. 

My next plan is to hopefully do well with the French U21's in the European Championship *Spoiler" I totally qualify. Then to not be as picky and literally apply for anything that comes my way. I need to get my face back out there, even if I think there is not an immediate chance of success! Luckily Montenegro loads up in a week so I will see what comes of that.

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Chapter 3 "Vive La France! (Under 21's)"

Its the update you have all been waiting for. The French U21 update.

There was one thing that immediately jumped out when I took control of my first game. It was a player. Now this player isn't anything special on the pitch but somehow he stuck out in the set up. Try and guess why.

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I don't want to be THAT guy but did anybody check his passport?

Anyway moving on. When I took over France U21 were sitting pretty 5 points clear at the top of the qualifying group after winning 6 out of 6. It was my job to finish the job then hopefully take them into the championship next summer.

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Moldova U21 0-3 France U21 - I was 3 up after 17 minutes and decided at half time to take some key players off, give them a bit of rest. It was a nice easy start to International management and one I was keen to build on. Moussa Dembele is already an asset. Lets just hope and pray he doesn't get poached by the main side!

France U21 5-0 Albania U21 - If the first game was easy then this was on beginner. We started slow but once we got the first the floodgates opened. Honestly this could have been double figures, instead I would have to be happy with just the 5.

Romania U21 1-2 France U21 - The last game was enough to secure qualification so i used these final two group games to try out some new players and see what happens. I wasn't bothered about keeping a 100% record in the group but wasn't complaining when we bagged the win. We were pegged back after previously taking the lead but regained it with the very next attack. All in all it was a straight forward game and a solid away win.

Cyprus U21 0-3 France U21 - Once again the fringe players got a chance to strut their stuff and didn't let me down in another straight forward win. On paper we should have destroyed them and although 3-0 doesn't sound like a lot we bossed the game. We took our time to score but I was never worried that the outcome was going to be anything other than an away win. 

So with very little fuss here is how the qualification table finished.

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Job was done before I took over too be honest. I just put the sprinkles on top. 

I can look forward to a international tournament at the same time as begged anybody who will listen for a job.

Summary!

Number of trained monkeys who could do this job - 1

Number of actual monkey employed to do this job - 1

Number of interview I've been on since leaving San Marcos de Arica - 0 

How I will look next time I get an interview - :kriss:

Still to come!

The build up to the U21 European Championships

The actual U21 European Championships

The thrilling continuation of me on the street as a homeless bum.

 

 

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16 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

Congrats on the Chilean championship! As always, a great read!

14 hours ago, Keano16 said:

Love the summaries man!

Thank you both for taking the time to comment. I'm glad people are reading and enjoying otherwise its just me ranting to myself on the internet. 

I've got a very busy weekend. Baby stuff and all that, so I won't be able to post but I have got a new job somewhere....

Dum dum dum! 

Image result for cliffhanger pun

(Cliffhanger)

 

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