[FM 17] If You’re Not First, You’re Last Redux – Redemption For The “Nearly Men” Of Europe

[Rikulec]

Good luck at Valencia, I'll definitely enjoy seeing them win the Champions League.

[noikeee]

**** yeah! 

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

Hopefully you do better than Gary Neville. Good luck!

[MarcxD]

Have fun, finally in Spain and a lovely club as well imo. 

[john1]

Good luck with Valencia   

[Adonalsium]

I am back.

At last.

How has the save gone? Anyone care to fill me in briefly? Did the purple barneys get on the field?

Wait, that's far too vague.

I have a ton of catching-up to do. 

Edited August 21, 2017 by Adonalsium

[ManUtd1]

16 hours ago, oriole01 said:

Good luck in Spain mate! Surprised that we haven't yet been here. Hopefully you can lead the way to restoring Spain to its previous heights, cause currently it's just shocking.

Thanks, man!  I'm shocked it has taken this long, and am thrilled to get going there.

14 hours ago, yugo23 said:

I am speechless.   Meanwhile in real life: "...the  club have splashed the cash with their biggest ever transfer signing. Guinean playmaker Seydouba Soumah has been brought in for €1.65 million. "

It is utterly surreal.  Here's hoping that they continue to dominate, I just can't see that type of spending lasting.

11 hours ago, Rikulec said:

Good luck at Valencia, I'll definitely enjoy seeing them win the Champions League.

9 hours ago, noikeee said:

**** yeah! 

Preach on!

8 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

Hopefully you do better than Gary Neville. Good luck!

Last we saw, Gar was passed out for the CL final, having drunk too much plum brandy.  So, unless I end up in a puddle of my own sick...

8 hours ago, MarcxD said:

Have fun, finally in Spain and a lovely club as well imo. 

I know less about them than Sevilla and Athletic, but am genuinely excited.

7 hours ago, john1 said:

Good luck with Valencia   

Thanks, man!

34 minutes ago, Adonalsium said:

I am back.

At last.

How has the save gone? Anyone care to fill me in briefly? Did the purple barneys get on the field?

Wait, that's far too vague.

I have a ton of catching-up to do. 

 

[ManUtd1]

Honestly, @Adonalsium, I really don't know what to tell you!

If you're going to read back through, by all means go for it.  I'd strongly recommend that you read the 6-part post that begins here, right after Scotland win the 2058 World Cup.  In terms of what I would deem "essential reading," that's as focused as I can get.  

The tracker gives a season-by-season update, but I don't know how to even begin distilling the details at this point 

[Adonalsium]

I'm starting on Page 60, @ManUtd1

It'll be some time before I catch up, but I'm a very fast reader when I have the mind for it.

In the meantime, just fill me in on one thing.

Spoiler

How many seasons of #SorryNotSorry have I missed? 

 

Edited August 21, 2017 by Adonalsium

[ManUtd1]

2 minutes ago, Adonalsium said:

I'm starting on Page 60, @ManUtd1

It'll be some time before I catch up, but I'm a very fast reader when I have the mind for it.

In the meantime, just fill me in on one thing.

  Hide contents

How many seasons of #SorryNotSorry have I missed? 

 

Have no fear, it isn't on any more.  I'll just leave it at that 

Enjoy -- and welcome back 

[Adonalsium]

Thank you, thank you. I await with bated breath to read of Papa Ronaldo's fate. 

Edited August 21, 2017 by Adonalsium

[ManUtd1]

1 minute ago, Adonalsium said:

Thank you, thank you. I await with bated breath to read of Papa Ronaldo's fate. 

You're in for (hopefully) a good ride, then 

[Adonalsium]

15 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

You're in for (hopefully) a good ride, then 

On Page 66 today. Wait, you snuck in a reference to Finnish folk music somewhere? I must've completely missed it... do you remember what it was? 

[ManUtd1]

17 minutes ago, Adonalsium said:

On Page 66 today. Wait, you snuck in a reference to Finnish folk music somewhere? I must've completely missed it... do you remember what it was? 

Unissakavelijat!  

[Adonalsium]

8 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

Unissakavelijat!  

... aren't they a student band? Last I checked, they're performing at the Music Hall in Helsinki...

[ManUtd1]

29 minutes ago, Adonalsium said:

... aren't they a student band? Last I checked, they're performing at the Music Hall in Helsinki...

It's @mjaferrie 

[mjaferrie]

[Joe.]

On 8/21/2017 at 03:25, BoxToBox said:

Perfect for Columbian ambitions too.

[ManUtd1]

6 hours ago, mjaferrie said:

I see you ov-- oh, where did he go?

 

6 hours ago, Joe. said:

Well, to be fair, I have designs on the Columbia River and Pacific Northwest in general.  Wait.  I've said too much.

 

[BoxToBox]

7 hours ago, Joe. said:

I'll spell Culombea differently in future.

[ManUtd1]

5 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

I'll spell Culombea differently in future.

Next to Monkeegladerboocher, isn't it?

[ManUtd1]

 

[oriole01]

4 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

Well, to be fair, I have designs on the Columbia River and Pacific Northwest in general.  Wait.  I've said too much.

 

Taboo tie-ins are now required, Ian! 
Everyone loves Tom Hardy, seriously.

[ManUtd1]

4 hours ago, oriole01 said:

Taboo tie-ins are now required, Ian! 
Everyone loves Tom Hardy, seriously.

And Oona. 

[ManUtd1]

Just as real events are forgotten, some that never were can be in our memories as if they happened.

Valencia CF / Colombia

2065/66 Season Review

Less than two months into my tenure in Spain, and we're La Liga champions.  I could get used to this.

Granted, I couldn't turn around the 3-nil deficit I found us in, against Koln.  I'm no miracle worker.  At least, not yet.

Let's not kid ourselves.  La Liga isn't what it used to be.  Our comprehensive annihilation of Barcelona and The Virus prove that.  The lads have barely even begun to learn the PM Cafetero tactics.  That being said, having my father's former charge, Scott Donald, in the side has been a tremendous boost.  Everyone is familiar with the style we're playing, and he's my on-pitch general, even if he isn't captain.  We've had a few long chats over tapas about my father -- his methods and personality, and any number of stories that seem too outrageous to believe.  With any luck, I can convince Donald to stick around after his contract expires next year.  He's easily my top right back, and would serve as an excellent mentor for younger players coming through.

For now, though, my attention needs to turn to Colombia and the World Cup in Russia.  I've given my Director of Football a list of transfer targets, and players who should be shown the door.  I'll keep my finger on the pulse of the former, but he's in charge of the latter.  Our wage bill is absurd.

Maybe I'll even bring a few familiar faces back to Spain with me from Russia...

Goals for 2066/67: Make a run into the World Cup knockout rounds.  Lay the foundations for long-term success at Valencia.

Squad|League Overview|Finances Overview|Income Detail|Expenditures Detail|Transfers

La Liga Fixtures 1|La Liga Fixtures 2|Champions League Fixtures|Europa League Fixtures|Copa del Rey Fixtures

Champions League Review

Leipzig has horrible luck.  They've repeatedly reached the semis and fallen short.  Wolfsburg decided to make it interesting this year, too.  Good on them.  In the end, West Ham lined up for their 6th straight final (their 8th final in the last 11 years) against Linus' Monaco...granted Linus was out with a broken ankle.  

West Ham took home their 5th CL title, meaning that a senile, belligerent Russell Brand has been wandering the streets of Liverpool, flashing a full hand at people and chanting dirty limericks about Stevie Gerrard.  In Russell's defense, there's no question that West Ham are the dominant force in English and European football at the moment.

 

 

Challenge Overview

[ManUtd1]

Just as real events are forgotten, some that never were can be in our memories as if they happened.

Valencia CF / Colombia

2066 World Cup, Squad Overview

Time for a quick overview, before I get on a plane.

Generally speaking, I believe the side is in good shape.  We've been perpetually underwhelming in qualifying and friendlies, though, which seems to be a feature of international management in '17.  Our international ranking has dropped to a dismal 26th after the shambolic end to qualifying, which had seen us rise as high as 4th which seemed absurd at the time.

In Russia, we'll be targeting the 2nd spot in our Group as Germany should walk over everyone.  Fortunately, we play them 3rd and can be virtually assured of passage to the knockout rounds if we take care of business against Sweden and El Salvador.

We'll be playing the same PM Cafetero suite of tactics, which is kind of obvious by this point.  Some familiar faces from the Partizan days in the squad.

 

Goalkeepers

  

During qualifying, Ortiz slowly overtook Reyes as the Number 1.  He's our long-term answer in goal, although there are a few youngsters who look like they could push him if/when they develop, down the road.

Liberos

 

Londoño is the only natural libero in my side, a problem that I need to remedy sooner rather than later.  For now, Uribe is his understudy, having lost his spot in the XI as Londoño developed at Partizan.

Defenders

        

My starting back 4 will be Stalin and Roa on the flanks, with Diaz and Perdomo in the middle.  I'm pleased with my CBs, but lack depth on the flanks.  Arizmendi is a bright young talent that I decided to bring along, at the expense of an auxiliary midfielder.

Central Midfielders

  

Zambrano and Puerta will be my central midfield pairing, with Bedoya and Uribe providing coverage.  Jairo Hernandez can also play in the "central winger" role on the left side of the midfield.  Bedoya is someone that I identified as a potentially huge prospect, but he hasn't developed as much as I'd like.  This is an area where we could do with some improvement in the long term.  There are some prospects, but nothing too solid.

Attacking Midfielders

     

Hernandez, Murcia and Torres are likely my starters up top...this is an area where I struggle, though, as I feel like we have a number of players who can fit in.  Mosquera and de Alba are Partizan products, while Varela looks like one.  This is definitely an area of strength/depth.

Final Thoughts

As I go through this, I feel like this side is as strong (on paper) as the Sweden and Dutch sides that won it all.  However, we've got a nasty habit of underperforming as of late.  That isn't something I've found unique to Colombia.  But the reality is that we haven't been firing on all cylinders.  If we can put together a run of form, then this could be a great tournament.  I'm not expecting this to be the year, though.  2070 seems more likely.

Up next: I get on a long flight, where I'll likely play the pre-tournament friendlies.  Then it's off to Russia.

[ManUtd1]

The flight to Moscow has been largely uneventful. The lads are relaxed, and the truce in the ever-escalating prank war holds. 

We've got reason to be optimistic, and know that we're a strong side.  Yet, expectations are not unreachably high. We're too young, the critics say. Too inexperienced.  For Russia 2066, at least.

Somewhere over the Atlantic, at 55,000 feet and 10 minutes into Jairo's impassioned argument with Stalin about the ending of Inception, disaster strikes.

Turbulence of a kind I've never experienced. And just when it seemed to have passed, everyone chuckling warmly, the plane bucked wildly and dropped several hundred feet in seconds, before settling into a step dive. The sight of dozens of bottles of Gatorade SuperPowerIce suspended in air is not one I'll forget any time soon.  Very Inception-esque, in hindsight.

In the moment, all I could think about was regret - the paths not taken, the father I didn't know, the girls I didn't kiss.  The ones I did. Silently, I vowed to be a better man, if we survived.

I internalized my terror. Others were not so lucky.

Andres literally **** himself, as Jairo ran screaming down the aisle at full speed, locking himself in the bathroom. Gustavo confessed his love for the stewardess he'd only just meet.  Stalin began speaking in tongues and ripped off his shirt, having converted to urCristianity on the spot.

Zambrano began crying about why he hadn't become an opthamologist like his mother wanted, where he would have lived a quiet life. Which led Edgar, the physio, to start slapping Zambrano around, screaming that Miguel needed to get ahold of himself, as making up words wouldn't save him.

Sebastian, though... Too much information from El Presidente.

I understand there were things Sebastian needed to get off his chest, seeing as how he believed he was about to meet his Maker.  Time to come clean...loudly admitting to everything from eating his sister's goldfish to torment her, to walking in on his grandparents making love and not leaving right away.

Much to his visible mortification, the last was announced mere moments before the pilots pulled up and the flight resumed.

In the awkwardness that followed, I mumbled something about the weight of Cobb's totem, pointing out how the perfect spin at the end of the movie was completely different from when he spun it right before talking to his kids on the phone, early in the movie.  Taking my cue, the lads slowly joined back in the argument, with Stalin reiterating that what everyone thinks is Cobb's totem, was actually his wife's.

Everyone is trying to play it cool.  But we've got another 4 hours in the air.  None of us can look Sebastian in the eye.  You can't un-ring THAT bell.

[Rikulec]

This forum needs a bowdown emoticon.

[ManUtd1]

2 hours ago, Rikulec said:

This forum needs a bowdown emoticon.

Too kind, man.  I'm just glad someone gets a laugh out of it!

[ManUtd1]

A quick glance at our pre-tournament friendlies, and you'll see what I'm getting at above.  We're not quite there yet, as a team.  Our defense has a propensity to giving up soft goals against weaker teams, and our finishing is inconsistent.  But, the rest of it all tells me that we're getting close.

   

[ManUtd1]

Almost forgot -- this happened while on the plane.  Gustav is back in France.

 

[ManUtd1]

Just as real events are forgotten, some that never were can be in our memories as if they happened.

Valencia CF / Colombia

2066 World Cup, Group Stage Overview

Time to take a page from my father's book.  Instead of trying to impose our style of play at all times -- like at the club level -- on the international scene, we need to be a bit more conservative.

Results?  Oh, yes.  You could say that.  A solid 2-0 dismantling of Sweden was followed by a 3-0 win over El Salvador, in which I gambled and played some of the 2nd XI.  The big match against Ze Germans...they were as impressive as we'd been led to believe.  So, we kept it tight at the back and nicked one on the counter in the 1st half.  A stunning free kick made it 2-0 in the second, and they couldn't find a way back into the match.  We're through as Group D winners, to face England.

We've got a tough road ahead.  England are no pushovers, with a likely match against Spain if we do go through.

  

 

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

5 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

Stalin began speaking in tongues and ripped off his shirt, having converted to urCristianity on the spot.

Brilliant stuff.

[ManUtd1]

Just as real events are forgotten, some that never were can be in our memories as if they happened.

Valencia CF / Colombia

2066 World Cup, Second Round

An utterly epic match, in every possible way.  We raced out to a 2-0 lead, only to go down 2-3 during a disastrous 12-minute span in the 2nd half.  Time to push.  We grabbed a 74th minute equalizer, and had a handful of opportunities to steal it in regular time.  So did they.  But neither side could land the knockout blow.

Extra time.   Tired legs.  Murcia hits his 3rd in the 113th minute, after a period of manic, end-to-end football.  He grabbed a fourth in the 121st minute.

We're through, in what will surely go down as the match of the tournament.  But at what cost?  We're gassed.  With Spain lurking on the horizon.

The other big news out of the 2nd round?  The USA eliminated 10-man Argentina on penalties.  Massive upset.

[ManUtd1]

35 minutes ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

Brilliant stuff.

Thanks, man!

[ManUtd1]

Just as real events are forgotten, some that never were can be in our memories as if they happened.

Valencia CF / Colombia

2066 World Cup, Quarterfinals

It's the hope that kills you.  Low expectations, I can deal with.  But now, on the verge of potential glory, it is hard to not to think about what that might feel like.  But we've got work to do first, and we step right up.

Although we gave up an early goal, we proceeded to fight back, take the lead, and maintain our nerve when Spain equalized.  3-2.  Into the semifinals.  We're a new side.  Confident.  In form.  Anything can happen.

We'll face Portugal, who eliminated the Swiss in extra time.  Germany will face the tournament's Cinderella side -- the United States -- in the other semifinal, after the Americans won their second straight match on penalties, having been utterly outplayed by the Dutch.

 

Yes, the USA are a mere 90 minutes away from potential eligibility.  I am going to try to get to the semis/final tonight.  Tomorrow, for sure.

[ManUtd1]

Just as real events are forgotten, some that never were can be in our memories as if they happened.

Valencia CF / Colombia

2066 World Cup, Semifinals

A tough opponent, no question.  Fast.  Skilled.  Will their extra time effort in the quarterfinals make a difference?  The first 45 minutes, Portugal are ascendant.  Striking the woodwork twice, it easily could have been lights out.

But with mere moments to play before the break, Torres plays Murcia in behind the Portuguese defense.  1-0 to Los Cafeteros.  The question being, can we hold it?

Back and forth.  Until the 68th minute, when Stalin steals a pass and sees Murcia breaking into the space behind the Poruguese back line.  2-nil.  What is happening?!?!

Portugal is unable to find a way through.  We're soaking up their attacks brilliantly.  Daring to dream.

One minute passes.  And then another.  And another.  The minutes pass like hours, but eventually the referee glances at his watch, raises the whistle to his lips and... THAT'S IT!!! LOS CAFETEROS ARE THROUGH!!!

Germany should get past the States in the other semifinal, setting up a rematch of our 2-0 Group D win.

 

  

[ManUtd1]

HOLY ****.  Three straight wins on penalties.

 

[ManUtd1]

Just as real events are forgotten, some that never were can be in our memories as if they happened.

Valencia CF / Colombia

2066 World Cup Final; Luzhniki Stadium, Moscow

If you'd told me one month ago that we would be playing in the final, I'd have laughed.  Our form didn't justify any such optimism.

But, something lit a spark in Los Cafeteros.  Perhaps our shared near-death experience over the Atlantic?  Actually, let's not revisit that...

Now, if you'd told me that not only would we be in the final, we'd be facing the United States?  Yeah.  That's a one-way ticket to the looney bin for you.

Three straight penalty shootout wins, in matches where they've been thoroughly outplayed.  How they have any legs left, I'll never know.  But we'd be foolish to look past them, given the scalps they've claimed these past few weeks.  Utterly surreal.

We'll begin cautiously, in the Foquiado/Lupo Incatenato tactic.  No need to go in guns-blazing.  That's what they want.

We're on an extra day's rest, but I don't think that even matters at this point.  Clearly, the States haven't been tripped up too badly by the additional 90 minutes of football they've played in the knockout rounds.

A relatively quite start to the match...UNTIL ROA IS CLATTERED TO THE GROUND IN THE UNITED STATES' BOX!!!  PENALTY IN THE 18TH MINUTE!!!

Hernandez steps forward...AND BURIES IT!!! ONE-NIL TO LOS CAFETEROS!!!  EL SUECO SAGRADO!!!

20th minute...a horror tackle from Carlos, that has to be...YES!!!  A STRAIGHT RED!  THE AMERICANS ARE DOWN TO 10 MEN!!!

The States have dropped back, defending valiantly.  But at some point they have to score...Colombia, content to bide their time.  More than an hour gone, and the States have yet to create anything since being reduced to 10 men.  Colombia in complete control, but a single moment of brilliance could see the match turned on its head.

10 minutes left in regulation...the United States have yet to put a shot on goal, continuing to stack men behind the ball, hoping for one chance on the counter.  Three minutes of added time...it's now or never for the United States...THAT'S THE MATCH!!!

FAR FROM PRETTY, UTTER DROSS BY ANY OBJECTIVE MEASURE, BUT VIKANDER'S CAFETEROS WILL NOT CARE ONE BIT!!!

EL SUECO SAGRADO HAS DONE IT!!!

 

 

  

  

 

  

Honestly?!?  The best match was a 1-1 draw in the Group stage, between Iran and Austria?!?!?  I need to write a letter to...somebody.

[ManUtd1]

I got a little excited about the final, and decided to play it tonight (despite being horribly sleep-deprived)...and what a mess.  The good news is that the USA is now eligible, and Colombia is complete.  Which means we need to update the tracker!  

  

Holy ****!

Alright, the final chapter in Colombia will come tomorrow.

[BoxToBox]

That couldn't have gone better in the end, incredible, Colombia done and the USA added.

[kidthekid]

nicely done.

[Joe.]

[mjaferrie]

Amazing!  Hopefully the US job comes up soon!

[yugo23]

Great chapter of amazing fairytale.

[Rikulec]

[MarcxD]

Congratulations!! Planning on taking the USA job as soon as it's available? 

[yugo23]

I'd like to see Hungary next, and after Valencia Panathinaikos. 

[ManUtd1]

7 hours ago, BoxToBox said:

That couldn't have gone better in the end, incredible, Colombia done and the USA added.

Thanks, man! Crazy tournament, completely unexpected.

7 hours ago, kidthekid said:

nicely done.

Thanks, man!

6 hours ago, Joe. said:

I'm utterly ashamed at not having made use of this...

3 hours ago, mjaferrie said:

Amazing!  Hopefully the US job comes up soon!

I've got my fingers crossed. It'd be ideal to pair it with a club side in a country with less stringent registration requirements, though.

2 hours ago, yugo23 said:

Great chapter of amazing fairytale.

Thanks, man! Went by too fast.

2 hours ago, Rikulec said:

1 hour ago, MarcxD said:

Congratulations!! Planning on taking the USA job as soon as it's available? 

I'd love to, but the Ivory Coast job is open after they were eliminated at the Group stage. With a Spanish club, it's an easy shout to go with an African side an import talent... I'm torn, and giving it some thought.

1 hour ago, yugo23 said:

I'd like to see Hungary next, and after Valencia Panathinaikos. 

Hungary hasn't been open in ages, as I recall 

Panathinaikos is high on my list. 

Edited August 24, 2017 by ManUtd1

[ManUtd1]

Meeting with Sebastian was never easy.  And that was before his ... deathbed confession regarding his grandparents.

At least we could both pretend that the awkwardness in the air was due to something other than the news I was sharing.  It's time to move on.

A firm handshake.  Mumbled platitudes masking a genuine fondness for each other, the very air tainted by Sebastian's moment of mad candor.

Back to Spain.  Now that a few players have moved on, I have the funds to bring a few players in.  And this summer's triumph necessitates a change in plans.  A big change.