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ManUtd1

[FM 17] If You’re Not First, You’re Last Redux – Redemption For The “Nearly Men” Of Europe

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ManUtd1   

Ugh...quite the range of potential opposition in the draw for the 3rd round:

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But, all's well that ends well:

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I'm liking our chances for the Group Stage, although the Playoffs could throw up a massive roadblock...

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ManUtd1   

Through by the skin of our teeth, thanks to a Zajicek thunderbolt in the 85th.  Great draw against Ludogrets, as well.

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ManUtd1   

Well, well, well.  The naysayers can **** my ***.

We're into the Group Stages.  A fortunate draw, no question.  But, we earned it aside from a less-than-impressive first leg against Maribor.

Once that tie was buried, we dominated 3-1 at home against the Bulgarians.  The return leg was in the balance, at the half.  

Until Khanye pounced on a loose ball in the 49th...until Zajicek buried one in the 59th.  Any hope of a comeback was extinguished when Depodé pulled off the save of the year.

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Moments later Berisha pounced to seal the tie.  3-0 away, 6-1 on aggregate.  Onwards we march.

I'd be a bundle of nerves for the draw, if it wasn't for Britta and her massage.  Lots of tension carried in my upper thighs...

That little runt Messi was picking balls out of the hopper.  He needed a footstool with phone books stacked on top to get at them.  High comedy.

And the comedy Gods were pleased, it seems.  As the wee man fished the balls out, like a wide-mouth bass begging for supper, I began to pray for Group H...Shakhtar as the top seed, followed by Leverkusen and Porto.  When the lab rat stuck his tiny hand into the bin for Group E, I just about lost myself.  That's a good lass, Britta, right...there...

Group H.  Winner winner, chicken dinner.

Make no mistake -- I harbor no delusions of progressing.  But we'll at least keep our dignity intact.

 

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ManUtd1   

Apparently, a bunch of crackheads have managed to be appointed to my board.  No wonder they keep rejecting my requests for a new affiliate.

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ManUtd1   

I knew hiring Jesse Pinkman as our new comptroller was a bad idea.

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"No, Jesse.  I said we will not put Chili P into the lads' water.  Get out of the dressing room."

Edited by ManUtd1

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ManUtd1   

My scouts have recommended that I take a closer look at this kid.  

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I'm 99% certain their ****ing with me.

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ManUtd1   

We'll see who's laughing now...

*typing on laptop furiously*

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Ehh...err...Let's take a closer look at that Danish kid, then.

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ManUtd1   

FFS, we can't even convince a Danish Bjelland to join us on a permanent transfer.  Now I'm confident this was a wind-up.  

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That's it, Vito.  Tell the kids daddy won't be home for Christmas this year.  Or any year, for that matter.

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ManUtd1   

I'm pretty sure I lost 2 years off my life tonight.  Britta, be a dear, will you?

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Edited by ManUtd1
Fixing screenshot

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ManUtd1   
16 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Trust Everton to get a late equalizer. Bah.

I blame Fellaini, in both instances. 

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ManUtd1   

Utter and complete chaos. Two insane matches that confirm several long-held beliefs of mine about how to play in this type of save, early in Europe. Tweaking the defense a tiny bit, too see if we can keep things a little tighter at the back (especially in the "hold the lead" version I employ).

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ManUtd1   

Very respectable showing thus far, even with the loss to Ze Germans at the Swedbank.

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ManUtd1   
22 minutes ago, Ceching You Out said:

Good work so far, already competitive. #DontTrustMazrimTaim #FalseDragon

#EasingTheBadger

:lol:

If no one got those references I was going to feel like an utter moron.  Well, more so than usual.

Edited by ManUtd1

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ManUtd1   
5 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

Don't.  Push.  Me.

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'Cause I'm close to the ... Eddddge.

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ManUtd1   

#RNGesus is having a laugh.

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Edited by ManUtd1

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ManUtd1   

"I like to picture RNGesus in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party."

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ManUtd1   

"Hang on, Baby RNGesus, this is gonna get bumpy!"

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Up Next: 2019 Review & 2020 Preview, From Mallorca

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10 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

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'Cause I'm close to the ... Eddddge.

‘I'm trying not to lose my head’ (of youth development).

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11 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

#EasingTheBadger

:lol:

If no one got those references I was going to feel like an utter moron.  Well, more so than usual.

It's a rare occasion, so I can't miss any opportunity to quote WoT with someone who knows what the hell I'm on about. My favorite series, hands down. And surprisingly metal when taken out of context! #BloodAndAshes

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ManUtd1   

Amen, Cech.  I'm currently re-reading it for the umpteenth time.

"Now, that killed the goat."

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BoxToBox   

Ahhhhh! WoT! I've always wanted to read it, but I just can't commit myself to 7,000,000 pages these days(by sheer laziness, I assure you).

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ManUtd1   

Are You Not Entertained?!  Is This Not Why You Are Here?!

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Malmö FF
2019 Review

Mallorca.  The lads stayed focused, and I had to remain true to my word.  Given the glorious manner in which we ended the season, though, we had to take things up a notch.  We left straight from the Swedbank after the Shakhtar match.  Barely even time to shower in champagne.  Once word got out on social media that di blåe were off to warmer climes, half the town showed up at the airport.  No one wanted to stay behind.

Once a few people had snuck on board our charter...it became a flood.  Honestly, I couldn't object given that I'd stashed Britta into an overhead bin.  Before long, people were stowing away in the bathrooms, the coat closet...there was some genuine creativity.  One lass even tried to claim that she was part of the plane's mandated safety apparatus, due to her investment in impressively large, symmetrical flotation devices.  Those poor stewardesses had no clue what to do.  Through a combination of drunken camaraderie, dubious shenanigans and modest bribery, off we flew with at least 30 extra people on board.  With a second charter for additional supporters right behind us.  The new Chairman probably is going to revoke my club credit card after this, but it was worth it.

Allsvenskan Champions again.  This time, we won at a canter.  With the Svenska Cupen in hand, our domestic dominance was complete.  I don't see us going backwards on that front any time soon.  We're all but set, with 2 solid XIs -- the 1st XI to focus on Europe, the 2nd XI to play in the Svenska Cupen and provide coverage when we rotate in advance of a big European match, with some youngsters thrown into the mix for good measure.

Berisha and Lewicki.  They may not stay.  The wolves are already sniffing around at them, especially after the year Veton had.  An astonishingly sublime 45 goals in all competitions.  Khanye had a good year, but spent a fair amount of time injured.  Not a good sign.  Depodé will take over in goal in the 1st XI, his calamatious showing in the Champions League aside (the players' kangaroo court fined him heavily for those).  Zajicek and Antolic were a revelation, and have developed as well as one could hope.  I've got them on contract for another 2 and 3 years, respectively, but will be looking to renegotiate with an eye towards 4-year deals.  And my patented option for a 3-year extension.  It's not my fault if you don't read the small print.  [ed. - remember, the first step is to kill all the lawyers]   

At this rate, I don't see us leaving Mallorca any time soon.  At least, not until the club realizes this is all on their dime.  The Europa League draw is tomorrow.  Frankly, I'm not bothered.  We're in the knockout rounds of a European competition.  That's all that matters.   

Goals for 2020: Maintain domestic dominance.  Start planning for the inevitable departures of key players as we continue to progress.  Reach the Champions League Group Stage.    

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Squad|League Overview|Finances Overview|Income Detail|Expenditures Detail|Transfers

Allsvenskan Fixtures|Svenska Cupen Fixtures|Champions League Fixtures

Challenge Overview:

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Edited by ManUtd1
Typo

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ManUtd1   

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A favorable draw, given that I could have faced the likes of Chelsea, Sevilla, Valencia, Milan and Monaco.  Given how my week is shaping up, I probably won't have another [serious] update until May/June, when I close out the 2019/20 CL year.

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ManUtd1   
1 hour ago, BoxToBox said:

Ahhhhh! WoT! I've always wanted to read it, but I just can't commit myself to 7,000,000 pages these days(by sheer laziness, I assure you).

I can assure you it is well-worth it.  You can do it! :cool:

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ManUtd1   

I understand there's a run on pitchforks and torches in Malmö...

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Berisha is gone.  He was desperate to leave, and the deal was ridiculous given how well he'd performed over the last 12 months.  

Konate's departure means that 2 members of last year's XI are out the door.  In Pa's case, at least, it was because he'd dropped to the 2nd XI and I had youth I'd rather blood.  To be fair, Berisha leaving means Lundqvist will see more time, along with some of the other young forwards my academy seems intent on developing.

Elsewhere, Steaua seems intent on replicating our reversal of fortunes by picking up our table scraps.  Silly, Steaua.  You're doing it wrong.

(I know I said I wouldn't have another substantive/serious update for a while.  I apparently lied.  I blame the "untrustworthy narrator" influence of Westworld...)

Edited by ManUtd1

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ManUtd1   

Veton who?!

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An intriguing pot of clubs to draw from...

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RNGesus, take the wheel!

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ManUtd1   

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Edited by ManUtd1

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ManUtd1   

This tie never should have been close.  We labored to a 1-0 away win, thanks to a calamitous own goal in 1st half injury time, before taking an early lead through an Antolic free kick in the 2nd leg at the Swedebank.  

We didn't bury the tie, though, despite numerous opportunities to do so...leading to squeaky-bum time for about 2 minutes, until Antolic and then Zajicek sealed the win.  

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At this point, we've far exceed even the wildest expectations or dreams.  It's all about collecting those vital Euro coefficient points!

Time to see who we draw in the quarterfinals...

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Let's do this!

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ManUtd1   

I'm currently sacrificing various woodland creatures to the Football Gods, in hopes of gaining their favor.

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ManUtd1   

First 45 minutes were breathtaking.  Clinical.  

The spent the 2nd 45 lumping the ball forward, while we maintained possession and soaked up the pressure.  

Genuinely unreal. 

Hakan: 1, Brendan: 0

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ManUtd1   

Next up, Rafa Benetiz's Milan.

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Valencia and Sporting are in the other semi.  

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ManUtd1   
3 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Villareal didn't show great character there at all.

Like most away sides in Europe playing a "minnow," they just sat there taking their punishment.  It was glorious.

Even at home, they simply didn't expect us to play.

Complaceny is a dangerous, dangerous thing.

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