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FMS 2016 Awards: Live from Sam Allardyce's Bank Vault


mark wilson27

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Bambini: This is a disgrace! I should have won that award! This is homophobia and xenophobia at its worst!

Oh. Hello there, Chris. What did they kick you out for?

Toilet-based humour. Apparently, I'm the worst thing to happen to comedy since Frankie Boyle.

Did Kyle Cain just win Best Story Character? Oh, that is brilliant! Well done, Kyle, and well done, tenthreeleader!

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I want in on the 11/4.  Can I leverage it against my investment in Swansea City because my compatriot, Bob Bradley, great guy, let me tell you.  Spent a lot of time in my signature venue Trump Tower.  Have I told you he was from New Jersey...he kept a low profile, but he was a shark at my Atlantic City property...Taj Mahal.

 

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Woo hoo...or is that Boo hoo.  As I just lost my newly placed bet for 7 Million American Dollars.  Have I told you what I was worth?  That's right 9 Billiion, if you ask me.  If you ask the accountants, it's only 4.5 Billion.  Who even knows?  I don't.  I don't care either.  Losing 7 Million is nothing.  Especially if I win the election.

 

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Now we have the next award as we find out who has won the Best Rest of the World Story

The nominee's are as follows

Peter Banalik – Metamorphosis edtheguy

Pontin's, Kwik Save... and Bastion Gardens EvilDave

Where's Williams? Life after Prestatyn EvilDave

A Continent From The Couch – Euro 2020 In The Media EvilDave

A Russian Revelation EvilDave

Tina's Rising Saints Gavrenwick

Anglesey (FM 14) Greyfriars Bobby

[FM'16] The Fixer neilhoskins77

[FM16] The Americans tenthreeleader

A hometown hero Terk

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Just now, copperhorse21 said:

Woo hoo...or is that Boo hoo.  As I just lost my newly placed bet for 7 Million American Dollars.  Have I told you what I was worth?  That's right 9 Billiion, if you ask me.  If you ask the accountants, it's only 4.5 Billion.  Who even knows?  I don't.  I don't care either.  Losing 7 Million is nothing.  Especially if I win the election.

 

Thank you for your contribution to Sam's retirement fund

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Ahem. Wow. Thank you for this Best International Story award.

There are so many people I'd like to thank - Gio Bambini, Marco Sepe (God rest his soul), Yolandi Veltman, Ruslan Sayfutdinov, and the two thousand, three hundred...

(Spots disapproving looks in audience)

...okay, I'll scrap that one. And also, thanks to you all for your continued support.

P.S. Whatever you do, my fellow Americans (because that's apparently what I am now), PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE vote for Hillary Clinton next month. The whole of humanity depends on it.

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Look what I won, Gio!

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Bambini: YOINK!

What the f...

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Bambini: This will make up for not winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Everyone at FIFA can sleep happily tonight, knowing that they have got the award they truly deserve.

 

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1 minute ago, CFuller said:

P.S. Whatever you do, my fellow Americans (because that's apparently what I am now), PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE vote for Hillary Clinton next month. The whole of humanity depends on it.

Hey...citizenship papers mean nothing in this country anymore.  Just ask Obama.  If I want you to be an American, you are.  Have I told you that my kids played with Putin's?  Great guy!  Down to earth.  A guy one can look up to...wait...that would be me again because I'm taller...and I run Miss Universe.  I'm a winner!

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Right gentlemen before we move onto the Best English Story Award we will do a couple of non story awards

The first of which will be the Most Missed FMS'er of the Year... This award goes to the writer that has been missed by your lot over the last year.

I must say this year quite a lot of old forum members have been mentioned and it would be great for some of these writers to come back

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3 minutes ago, copperhorse21 said:

Hey...citizenship papers mean nothing in this country anymore.  Just ask Obama.  If I want you to be an American, you are.  Have I told you that my kids played with Putin's?  Great guy!  Down to earth.  A guy one can look up to...wait...that would be me again because I'm taller...and I run Miss Universe.  I'm a winner!

Because of you, Mr Drumpf, everybody will soon end up like the late, great David Bowie - afraid of Americans.

#MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain (If you're reading this, 10-3, I can only apologise.)

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2 minutes ago, copperhorse21 said:

CFuller...(not as DDrumpf....)  You are hilarious.  Where do you find this stuff so fast?

I'm a big music fan. Songs are like innuendos to me. Give me any situation, and I can probably make a song-based quip about it.

Oh, and I quite like John Oliver. I'm left-wing when it comes to US politics, which is quite odd coming from a right-wing Brit.

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1 minute ago, CFuller said:

We all miss Bobev... and perhaps we miss BobBev even more.

European Soccer Weekly was the first FM Story that really got me hooked on this forum.

Sorted oooppppsss . I'm going to get sacked at this rate

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Dammit...another award...at this rate, I'll lose the election and end up driving trucks (lorries) for a living.  I miss 10-3 hosting...can we hold an election right now for him as being most missed?  Actually, congrats to our host...That's right...I know a winner when I see them!  I latch on and ride coattails to the top.  That's why I dumped the Apprentice.  I knew Shark Tank would be bigger...and better...

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1 minute ago, copperhorse21 said:

Dammit...another award...at this rate, I'll lose the election and end up driving trucks (lorries) for a living.  I miss 10-3 hosting...can we hold an election right now for him as being most missed?  Actually, congrats to our host...That's right...I know a winner when I see them!  I latch on and ride coattails to the top.  That's why I dumped the Apprentice.  I knew Shark Tank would be bigger...and better...

Well I'll need someone to ferry me around on the victory tour :brock:

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Congratulations edtheguy!  Honestly, it's great to win Newcomer of the Year.  Not that I would know because 10-3 won it when I was a Newcomer.  Don't let the pressure get to you like the American writer Harper Lee.  We hope to see more from you in the future.

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