Raptor Posted January 9, 2005 Author Share Posted January 9, 2005 A phonecall between Groningen and the US some time last November… Raptor … So basically, that’s the plan for this year, it’s easiest to get to for everyone. Mao Mark, Mark, Mark… Don’t you see it’s always the same? Edinburgh, Belfast, Glasgow… It’s the CMS Awards, not the Brit Awards… You have to take them elsewhere for a change. R Hey, I looked into that, had several offers, and rang a few people across the globe myself. But nothing with enough glamour or history was available. M You’ve been to Paris recently haven’t you? R Hey, I may have made peace with half, the female half, of the French population, but that doesn’t mean I’ll let the CMS Awards become part of the Paris 2012 Bid. M There’s a joke about you and Napoleon in there somewhere… Oh well, thought about Greece? R They won Euro2004, had the Olympics, we shouldn’t spoil them with ANOTHER world class event. M Madrid? Australia? Amsterdam? R Madrid: I hear there’s problems with public transport. Melbourne would be an option if our man Down Under wasn’t too busy planning his honeymoon. 020: you’re joking right? I’d go to Germany first. M Munich’s a good place to be this time of year. R Actually, with my brother spending half the time in Germany nowadays, I had him check out Neunkirchen for me, but he stupidly mentioned benny, and no one dared to say another word. So Germany’s out too. M I suppose even your wee village would do? R Groningen? Get real. I’m lucky not to have been expelled following the CMS meetup in June. The city’s still recovering from that invasion. Besides, after the glass door incident, I couldn’t possibly show my face around there anymore. M Glass door? Do tell… R Talk to my lawyer instead. Other suggestions? And yes, I thought about Dublin, but they’ll get it in ’09, when Guinness celebrate 250 years in business. M Elsewhere in the Southern Hemisphere? Cape Town, Rio, someplace warm. R Halfway across the globe, no thanks. Besides, that’s not glamorous enough. M And London is? Seriously Mark, if you want some glamour, AND a change from Britain, you should take the party Stateside. R Hmm… I suppose with the dollar being as weak as it is, that might be a half-decent idea… Don’t have the contacts though, well, apart from you and this country boy. Actually tried New York, but Broadway started to laugh when I mentioned soccer. Ignorant c*nts. M You’re talking about the wrong seaboard… East Coast is sooooo yesterday. You might as well host the Awards in Canada! No, if it’s glamour you want, the west is where it’s at. R Hollywood? M Oh please… and let people do 30-minute acceptance speeches? You usually drag out the ceremony for too long anyway. No, I’m talking about taking a leaf out of the Mao’s and hitting Vegas. R I dunno… We’d have to dumb down the ceremony too much I reckon. M Dumb down from what? Last year’s stuff was boring as f*ck. Not to mention unfunny. At least ’02 was half-decent, but then 13 wrote most of the script. R And I suppose you can do better? M No… I will do better. If you let me, of course. R How? M By putting up a real show Mark… by putting up a real show. R Oh for god’s sake, if you think I’m gonna be dancing again, you’re greatly mistaken. There isn’t enough alcohol on the planet to get me that crazy again. M It only took a pint and a half of shandy last time. R Yeah well, the Irish taught me a thing or two about drinking since. M Don’t worry, for a ceremony like this, we’ll get some real women to dance. None of you cross-dressing Europhiles. R Why do I get the feeling I’m gonna regret what I’m about to say? M I take it we’re in agreement then? R I guess we are… And so, Las Vegas became the setting for the final CMS Awards. But with life throwing up the weirdest, most unlikely meetings when you least expect it, the two intended hosts ran into Mark Frost and Stevie O’Mao at Logan International Airport in Boston, where the latter pair had arrived ahead of a Boston Hibs game. Boys being boys, they went out in town, met some more people, and got involved in some pretty weird conversations. By next morning, they still couldn’t decide whether the X-files-like stories they heard were true or not. The sudden change of weather to very heavy snowstorms added to the creepiness. Stuck in Boston, no flight would leave town any time soon, it was just as well they had mobile phones with, albeit very weak, some sort of signal. It was good enough to reach the two women currently at the door here at Ceasar’s Palace… Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 A phonecall between Groningen and the US some time last November… Raptor … So basically, that’s the plan for this year, it’s easiest to get to for everyone. Mao Mark, Mark, Mark… Don’t you see it’s always the same? Edinburgh, Belfast, Glasgow… It’s the CMS Awards, not the Brit Awards… You have to take them elsewhere for a change. R Hey, I looked into that, had several offers, and rang a few people across the globe myself. But nothing with enough glamour or history was available. M You’ve been to Paris recently haven’t you? R Hey, I may have made peace with half, the female half, of the French population, but that doesn’t mean I’ll let the CMS Awards become part of the Paris 2012 Bid. M There’s a joke about you and Napoleon in there somewhere… Oh well, thought about Greece? R They won Euro2004, had the Olympics, we shouldn’t spoil them with ANOTHER world class event. M Madrid? Australia? Amsterdam? R Madrid: I hear there’s problems with public transport. Melbourne would be an option if our man Down Under wasn’t too busy planning his honeymoon. 020: you’re joking right? I’d go to Germany first. M Munich’s a good place to be this time of year. R Actually, with my brother spending half the time in Germany nowadays, I had him check out Neunkirchen for me, but he stupidly mentioned benny, and no one dared to say another word. So Germany’s out too. M I suppose even your wee village would do? R Groningen? Get real. I’m lucky not to have been expelled following the CMS meetup in June. The city’s still recovering from that invasion. Besides, after the glass door incident, I couldn’t possibly show my face around there anymore. M Glass door? Do tell… R Talk to my lawyer instead. Other suggestions? And yes, I thought about Dublin, but they’ll get it in ’09, when Guinness celebrate 250 years in business. M Elsewhere in the Southern Hemisphere? Cape Town, Rio, someplace warm. R Halfway across the globe, no thanks. Besides, that’s not glamorous enough. M And London is? Seriously Mark, if you want some glamour, AND a change from Britain, you should take the party Stateside. R Hmm… I suppose with the dollar being as weak as it is, that might be a half-decent idea… Don’t have the contacts though, well, apart from you and this country boy. Actually tried New York, but Broadway started to laugh when I mentioned soccer. Ignorant c*nts. M You’re talking about the wrong seaboard… East Coast is sooooo yesterday. You might as well host the Awards in Canada! No, if it’s glamour you want, the west is where it’s at. R Hollywood? M Oh please… and let people do 30-minute acceptance speeches? You usually drag out the ceremony for too long anyway. No, I’m talking about taking a leaf out of the Mao’s and hitting Vegas. R I dunno… We’d have to dumb down the ceremony too much I reckon. M Dumb down from what? Last year’s stuff was boring as f*ck. Not to mention unfunny. At least ’02 was half-decent, but then 13 wrote most of the script. R And I suppose you can do better? M No… I will do better. If you let me, of course. R How? M By putting up a real show Mark… by putting up a real show. R Oh for god’s sake, if you think I’m gonna be dancing again, you’re greatly mistaken. There isn’t enough alcohol on the planet to get me that crazy again. M It only took a pint and a half of shandy last time. R Yeah well, the Irish taught me a thing or two about drinking since. M Don’t worry, for a ceremony like this, we’ll get some real women to dance. None of you cross-dressing Europhiles. R Why do I get the feeling I’m gonna regret what I’m about to say? M I take it we’re in agreement then? R I guess we are… And so, Las Vegas became the setting for the final CMS Awards. But with life throwing up the weirdest, most unlikely meetings when you least expect it, the two intended hosts ran into Mark Frost and Stevie O’Mao at Logan International Airport in Boston, where the latter pair had arrived ahead of a Boston Hibs game. Boys being boys, they went out in town, met some more people, and got involved in some pretty weird conversations. By next morning, they still couldn’t decide whether the X-files-like stories they heard were true or not. The sudden change of weather to very heavy snowstorms added to the creepiness. Stuck in Boston, no flight would leave town any time soon, it was just as well they had mobile phones with, albeit very weak, some sort of signal. It was good enough to reach the two women currently at the door here at Ceasar’s Palace… Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peacemaker7 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 *waltzes in having won $1M dollars in the casino and sits near the free bar* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Evening everybody, good to see at least some people made it here in one piece. As you may have heard, your usual hosts are stuck in Boston, and they couldn’t be here in time. Personally, I reckon the boys are just pished and can’t be bothered, but hey, we’d do a better job anyway. Girl power and all that. So youse will have to settle for Mrs. Doyle and myself tonight, as we celebrate five years of CMS. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 That’s right Katie, and there will be no more, with the arrival of FMS. But before the curtain comes down on the CMS era, 24 awards are up for grabs. Sit back, and enjoy the show. Drinks are on the house, as always, though we’re sad to inform the younger stars in attendance legal age is 21 over here. For drinking, of course. If you fancy any of the women present tonight, 18 will suffice. And in the event of you wishing to sign up for a Tour of Duty in Iraq, the ripe old age of 17 means you’re free to sign on the dotted line Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
flipsix3 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 <sits quietly in the corner due to the fact that he has no passport and has smuggled himself into the country> Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peacemaker7 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Not fancy a go on the tables Flip Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
flipsix3 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Nope, I'm heading out to Vegas for a friend's wedding in 10 months time, I need to practise my willpower Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMDave Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 *staggers in with a pint of stout in his left hand and a smouldering herbal remedy cone in his right* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 * wanders in totally knackered after running from a training camp in Limburg (Although it might well have been East Berlin) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gino Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Woo. Let's have some fun Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo_4eva Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Gino: Woo. Let's have some fun <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sadly, it'll be another seven years until I'm having fun. Well, four if they bring it back to Britain that year! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Well, I see most people have settled in, and we're about ready to begin. Can one of you cute little fellas at the bar please pass me a glass of red wine first though? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo_4eva Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 *There you go* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Reminds Katie its a long night. Dont get drunk too quick honey Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HD Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 i'm scared Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peacemaker7 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 *wonders who let that daft old bag in* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
flipsix3 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jambo_4eva: *There you go* <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Cute... stretching a point Little... check Fella... hmmm Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 If you dont behave PM7 you'll go over my knee young man! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Before we start, I would like to pass on the regards of Mr. Faramir and Mr. Furnivall, who both regret not to be able to attend this ceremony, due to family reasons, one for happier reasons than the other... Now, let's get the show on the road, shall we? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peacemaker7 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 *Thinks Mrs Doyle should go collect her pension* *Wonders if Katie is free after the ceremony* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobBev Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Hello Las Vegas, how you all doin? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMDave Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 *spikes his own drink* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 As your invitation suggested, these final CMS Awards are a celebration of the five years our community spent under its old name. This evening will feature lots of flashbacks to days gone by, and we thought it'd be nice to start with a little story on how we got here in the first place. The Making of CMS - The Awards To stop all the theads and polls about what was the best story, who is the best writer etc, Wimbledon1 came up with the idea of having an annual awards ceremony. Mao also decided to create his own awards, as he felt he was more important that the CMS voters Sadly, the Mao awards are now, seemingly, defunct. The ‘virgin’ awards ceremony, way back in 2000. The 2001 ‘Peacemaker7’ awards. (With HD making a tit of himself as the support act.) The 2002 awards from Belfast The 2003 ‘Flipsix3’ awards Jeff and PM7 start up the CMS bookies Mao was so jealous of the stars, he had to have his own show More from Mao. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo_4eva Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by flipsix3: <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jambo_4eva: *There you go* <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Cute... stretching a point Little... check Fella... hmmm <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'm not little Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
flipsix3 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OMDave: *spikes his own drink* <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Clears up the mess then explains Gridiron celebrations to OMDave and points out that "spiking" something has another meaning over here Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 And our first award tonight will be for the writer who has stamina, certainly more than my husband used to have, but thats another story, This award is for the MOST UNDERRATED WRITER and the finalists in this catergory are Eldritch7 Gino Gricehead HD Wag Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gino Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 btw, isn't it Caesar's Palace - or are we in the cheap function room through down the strip? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMDave Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by flipsix3: <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OMDave: *spikes his own drink* <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Clears up the mess then explains Gridiron celebrations to OMDave and points out that "spiking" something has another meaning over here <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> *stares incomprehendingly* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 ... And our first winner of the night is someone who's first ever award is long overdue. Step up Gino Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
flipsix3 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OMDave: *stares incomprehendingly* <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> When a receiver scores a touchdown and slams the ball into the floor (so it bounces nice and high) it's known as "spiking the ball" iirc Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peacemaker7 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 *wonders why the feck Mrs Doyle is on about stamina* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMDave Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 nice one gino Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peacemaker7 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Well done GINO \o/ Long long overdue! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
flipsix3 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Wahey, way to go Gino Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gino Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Get in! haha, how chuffed am I? Five years I've waited for one of these. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobBev Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Well done Gino Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMDave Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by flipsix3: <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OMDave: *stares incomprehendingly* <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> When a receiver scores a touchdown and slams the ball into the floor (so it bounces nice and high) it's known as "spiking the ball" iirc <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah. Hence the mess. Works both ways I guess Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
flipsix3 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Gino: Get in! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peacemaker7 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 I dont think theres ever been a more deserving award winner tbh. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Our second award will probably not be collected here tonight, as it's the award for Most Missed CMSer. Hopefully, the winner, as well as the other nominees, will one day return to the community... The nominees: MOST MISSED CMSer Andrew Downing Brian W Flann O'Brien (Sir Bert Merton) ghostwriter King Jeff Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Except you of course, eh Stu? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HD Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Finally CMS comes to it's senses. Congrats Gino. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Well Done Gino Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
flipsix3 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Peacemaker7: I dont think theres ever been a more deserving award winner tbh. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Seconded Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peacemaker7 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 STFU you stupid old bag Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
flipsix3 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 So do we hold a minute's silence for this winner? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMDave Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 *wonders whether it's love at first sight between PM7 and Mrs Doyle* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HD Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Katie Frost: Hopefully, the winner, as well as the other nominees, will one day return to the community... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That would depend on the manner of their return... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 And the person you've voted as the Most Missed is King Jeff Well done darling Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.