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Things you wish you could tell players

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Me, well I think I could tell players I have to sell you because I have offered you a new contract and you want too much interms of wages and or add ons.

And I think a good response would be for them to either say okay. Disagree or say offer me a new contract and for them to accept less...

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I wish I could tell any player with a Stamina rating of less than 5 to "get down to the gym, you fat, overpaid, lard arse."

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I manage in Argentina, I don't speak Spanish, I can't tell them anything :(

But I keep winning matches :D

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I'd like to tell them, we have won promotion! You will be playing at a higher level next season so now will you sign a new deal?!

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I would love to ask them, "Why do you think you're having a goal drought?"

and then have them answer:

"Joe Cole doesn't pass the ball", or, "I'm too busy defending because you put me in a support role and there aren't enough midfielders, so I drop back to support", so that I know what I should fix.

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I ***SMACK*** told ***SMACK*** you ***SMACK*** to ***SMACK*** pass ***SMACK*** and ***SMACK*** not ***SMACK*** to ***SMACK*** shoot ***SMACK*** from ***SMACK*** every ***SMACK*** impossible ***SMACK*** position***SMACK*** :herman:

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"No, me signing a centre back who can also play RB, doesn't mean that you'll be getting less playing time" to an AMR who is accomplished at RB (but can't defend for toffee)

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In my opinion a must for team talk in the next version-

Have you heard what the crowd are ****** shouting? "**** Bassett!" "Bassett's a ****!" "Bassett's a ********!" "Bassett's a *****!" They shouldn't be ****** shouting at me, they should be shouting at you, and do you know why? Because it's ******* half-time, and we're ******* 2-0 down to the ****** Mexicans! What the ***** wrong with you? Get your ******* fingers out! Where's your bottle ******* gone?

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Id like an option to tell them "ok, ive seen that you are extremely accurate to hit the posts 3-4 times per match, now just aim inside the goal, that would be awesome"

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"Our average height is six inches less than every other team in the league. Please, for the love of God, KEEP THE BALL ON THE GROUND!"

or related, "I said play the corners short. That means the guy six yards in front of you, not like, the short guy in the box"

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"You're right next to the sideline, kick it out for a throw, not a bloody corner".

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""Ball". Say it with me now. BALL. Ok. Now try this one... "goal". GOAL. That's it, good. The idea of this game is to kick the BALL in the other team's GOAL."

*sigh*

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"I offered you mutual termination because you came into my office yesterday demanding to leave the club."

The amount of times I have wanted to say that...

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"When I said close down their winger who can cross onto a 5p piece I meant at least try and stay within 15 yards of him...."

"If you can't pass a ball to the man 10 yards next to you then you're not a professional football and I'll have you in court for breach of the trade descriptions act!!!"

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How about hitting free kicks with a little less power?

You're costing us a fortune in lost footballs.

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Three :

1) Now I know I don't want you diving in two footed, but the object of the game is to tackle the player, not jog alongside him for 80 yards and then applaud his inevitable goal.

2) If you want to leave the club, I'm offering you to other clubs, and you're threatening that if you don't leave you'll take it further (although how you can go further than being actively shopped for half price is beyond me) don't then reject every freaking contract offer that is made to you!

But most importantly :

3) Are you deaf? Do you play in an alternate dimension? Why when I shout "Play it wider and get it forward" can you not hear me until the ball has gone out of play twice?? Can you not even see my arms flailing about?

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"If you shoot from distance one more time, I will put you in the reserves for the remaining four years of your contract."

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would love to say that to Nani

player hands in transfer request due to broken promise.

yes I said you were first choice, I played a match, you got injured in the internationals after, you come back match fit, i play you and you request? you want me to magic up more games?

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to a player with low pace

If you put as much practice into your football as you do into stuffing your fat ugly face you'd be the best player in the world

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You aren't getting first team football because you aren't good enough. You aren't getting on the sub bench because we Don't need you there. I transfer listed you, and nobody offered. I tried to sell you for free, nobody offered. Nobody offered on the loan either. The board blocked contract termination. So please, just shut the hell up and sit in the corner until your contract runs out in three months. Because I literally exhausted every option and don't have time for you anymore.

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team talks

Reluctant

Cautious

Calm

Passionate

Assertive

Aggressive

******'

Seriously angry

Rant

Tilt

Threaten to fire them all

Throw stuff at them

Violent tilt

Destructive rampage

Flog and keelhaul random player

Murderous tilt

Kill them all, then run into the kick-off circle and tear your guts out dramatically

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team talks

Reluctant

Cautious

Calm

Passionate

Assertive

Aggressive

******'

Seriously angry

Rant

Tilt

Threaten to fire them all

Throw stuff at them

Violent tilt

Destructive rampage

Flog and keelhaul random player

Murderous tilt

Kill them all, then run into the kick-off circle and tear your guts out dramatically

I really like those options :)

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team talks

Reluctant

Cautious

Calm

Passionate

Assertive

Aggressive

******'

Seriously angry

Rant

Tilt

Threaten to fire them all

Throw stuff at them

Violent tilt

Destructive rampage

Flog and keelhaul random player

Murderous tilt

Kill them all, then run into the kick-off circle and tear your guts out dramatically

FM15 should lead with these new features. "New Tone System, featuring 75 new versions of aggression!"

I'd like there to be more personality put into the system. Maybe some kind of natural language processor that could make some attempt at understanding something more than a click on a pre-determined option. They give you an option to write your own answer to a question in a press conference, but you can put anything in there, and all that will happen is it's tacked onto a later news item. It would be much better if it could parse things semi-sensibly and act on that. Someone asks you about the opposition player - let's say Suarez for absolutely no reason...

Press - "Luis Suarez had a good game today - what did you think of his performance?"

Manager - "I thought he cheated."

Press - "Are you saying that Suarez cheated his way to victory today?"

Manager - "Yes...obviously"

Press - "Why do you say that?"

Manager - "...he...bit somebody!"

Press - "The Ballon d'or is coming up..."

Manager - "Oh for..."

Obviously that's a pretty stretched example, but I'm sure you get what I mean. I want to be able to play a character in the game. I want to be known as someone who swears a lot in press conferences when he ever attends. Most of all, if the players are terrible, I want to do more than just ask them "where's the passion lads?!". I want to put the fear of god into them. I want to go keelhaul, as suggested by BiggusD.

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Why don't you follow any of my instructions?

Why are you coming into my office to say you're not happy with the club's league position when YOU are the main reason with your terrible conversion rate/shambles goalkeeping/failure to pass 5 yards/stroppy attitude?

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'What part of hassle opponents do you not understand?'

'I said play the ball out of defence not try to score from 90 yards!'

'Don't use your legs like bloody scissors when trying to tackle'

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I would like to tell my players to actually run.

Not walk. Not jog listlessly. RUN. RUN, YOU LAZY GIT.

I'm currently about 30 matches into the Premier League season, top, no defeats, only three draws, and suddenly my entire team has decided that it's too easy and they want a bit of a challenge, so they've decided to restrict themselves, at best, to a light trot while on the ball. My pacey players refuse to sprint. My centre-backs have also decided that it's all a bit too easy, so are randomly running away from one another at random intervals during counter-attacks, yelling "Look, look, there's some space there!"

The only guy actually putting in any effort is the goalie and one winger who is scoring every game. Now had 5 wins on the trot with 1-0 scorelines.

Becoming irritated.

Oh, and I'd like to tell my striker that he's allowed to shoot inside the penalty area. He doesn't NEED to shoot the instant he's within 18 yards of the goal line.

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'Don't use your legs like bloody scissors when trying to tackle'

I recently had a player sent off for doing this... while he had the ball. He had the ball, ran with it at the nearest opposing player, then kung fu scissor kicked him to the ground.

Then he complained about being fined...

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You aren't getting first team football because you aren't good enough. You aren't getting on the sub bench because we Don't need you there. I transfer listed you, and nobody offered. I tried to sell you for free, nobody offered. Nobody offered on the loan either. The board blocked contract termination. So please, just shut the hell up and sit in the corner until your contract runs out in three months. Because I literally exhausted every option and don't have time for you anymore.

Agree so much...

team talks

Reluctant

Cautious

Calm

Passionate

Assertive

Aggressive

******'

Seriously angry

Rant

Tilt

Threaten to fire them all

Throw stuff at them

Violent tilt

Destructive rampage

Flog and keelhaul random player

Murderous tilt

Kill them all, then run into the kick-off circle and tear your guts out dramatically

Yes, so much yes.

Maybe this needs to be the forums the lads read to find the bugs? It is slightly lighter than the bugs forum.

My addition:

Custom, built responses. Now, we all know the bulk answers have a set response in game... for example "Show me something else in the 2nd half" leads to a response in the game that is coded in, I would like to be able to edit those responses to say what I wish them to say, the response doesn't have to change, it would just be nice to say something different from time to time. I can predict every time that I KNOW they will talk about Lucas's collectors item every time he scores a goal in the post match press conference... It is very, very predictable and becomes mundane after a while.

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You aren't getting first team football because you aren't good enough. You aren't getting on the sub bench because we Don't need you there. I transfer listed you, and nobody offered. I tried to sell you for free, nobody offered. Nobody offered on the loan either. The board blocked contract termination. So please, just shut the hell up and sit in the corner until your contract runs out in three months. Because I literally exhausted every option and don't have time for you anymore.

Yeah, something like this would be usefull.

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I manage in Argentina, I don't speak Spanish, I can't tell them anything :(

But I keep winning matches :D

You're like Pochettino, but then the complete opposite. If that makes sense.

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I'd like to be able to tell a player that his agent is an overpaid, arrogant little ***** and that if he wants to play for my club, he should leave his agent and join one whom suggests reasonable terms.

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Your contract says "Backup". Stop moaning about not getting first team football.

Also... we agreed you could go out on loan to get some game time. So STOP rejecting the 20 loan offers that come in!

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''So, the whole team except you is happy with the training load? That's what you are telling me? Take your time to reply to that. o,O''

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"No, I'm not dropping the striker who's been scoring in every game just so you can play, and I'm not adjusting the tactics either to accommodate you with him either because this one has the right balance so far"

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