Hitting The Bar

[mistahc]

FM game 12.2.2 with Uncle Ron's [FM2012] FMUpdates England Levels 7 & 8 - Southern, Isthmian & Northern Leagues patch. New club with 0 for training, youth, etc.

Medium database, but with all Irish nationals loaded.

The story is based on real events, reflecting results, players, scores and scorers in the game save, although artistic license has been used in some details.

For those who think this is a million miles from reality, Hastings (of the same league as this created team) reached the 3rd round of the FA Cup to play Middlesbrough away (FA Cup replay win 13.12.12). And Bradford of League 2 reached the final of the Carling Cup against Premiership Aston Villa (22.01.13).

Anything is possible if you try hard enough. Except telekinesis or pulling a supermodel. Long live the underdog.

MistahC

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Connor thrashed around in the cold water, it was pitch black and he couldn't see anything in front of him. Something was tugging at his feet pulling him towards death so he kicked out his legs with everything he had to loosen the grip. He could feel his lungs constrict with the pressure, and he choked and gagged on nothing.

He didn't know how long he was under or how long he had left, but he was panicking and his body was reacting by pumping his body with adrenaline. He was truly scared, as he didn't want to die like this and it was the darkness that terrified him. He was disorientated and longed to know which way was up, and to feel fresh air on his face and in his lungs once more.

He thought he saw a beam of light above him and desperately kicked out again to try and free himself. The light disappeared, and he convinced himself it was a torch scanning the ocean for signs of his return to the surface. He tried to visualise someone seeing him go under the water and rushing to his rescue.

It was just the moon briefly peeking from the clouds, sprinkling it's light to show where the sea had swallowed him up greedily. Only the ghosts in the water had seen him, and no-one was there to save him.

Time and air were running out, and so were his chances. His life began to flash before his eyes.

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"I'm getting too old for this"

"eh?.... oh for fff......" replied Connor, who was crucially distracted as the corner came in, gliding the ball off the side of his head and into the corner of his own net. He slumped to his knees as the jubilant opposition celebrated around him, one gracelessly rubbing his hair and calling him what he hoped was a reference to his day job at the bank. He looked at the ground and wished it would swallow him up, it was muddy and stud-marked and he painfully saw the resemblance with his own thinning head. The rain drizzled down and he looked to the Heavens and felt the drops on his face join his wet, salty eyes and red cheeks. Over 20 years of playing competitive football and he still hated to lose, and they were on the wrong end of a 4-0 hammering. He could hear the small crowd jeering and complaining about the quality of the football on display and one old boy was telling his Labrador about how Sunday League football was so much better back in his day. Distant thunder rumbled, threatening a storm coming on the horizon. The weather looked as bleak as the teams chances of getting back into the game.

"What was that Tony?" He asked, unable to hide the fact he clearly blamed his defensive partner for the error. His scowl would have made Neil Ruddock jump slightly.

"This. Had enough of it. The lad with the stupid haircut was pulling at my shirt and pinching me AGAIN, and if I make any contact he goes down like a bag of spuds rolling on the floor like I've assaulted him or broken him in half. I've had enough of this, it's a young man's game and I'm an old man amongst boys." He retrieved the ball from the back of the net and kicked it as hard as he could up field. It bounced well before the half-way line and Tom the young striker flipped the finger thinking he dropped it short on purpose.

"sort it out Grandad's" slated the goalie, even though he was older than the pair of them, looked it and like them playing in a position their later years allowed, where fitness and girth could be less of a liability.

"Sod off Steve, you couldn't catch a cold" Tony spat as he jogged his tubby frame up field "and I'm going out in style!". And he did, playing a few minutes up front before doing his back in by attempting a wild overhead kick. Not finished he sought out their number 9, and then started a 22 man punch up by slapping him on the back of the head as he hobbled off.

Connor sat in the pub glumly sipping his post-match pint as he watched Tony struggle over with another round shuffling his feet with a grimace on his face. He would have helped him but his season was over too; in trying to break up the fight he accidentally shoved one of the players in the face, who went down like he had been floored by a boxer and laid prone on the floor. Connor was shown the straight red, banned for 3 matches and the last games of the season.

At 34 that could be the last game he ever played. He mulled over his playing career from his school days to the obscurity of Sunday League. He agreed with Tony's assessment, the game had changed over the years and the fun had gone, it was all play-acting, people trying flash skills and step overs, and those who didn't have the skill kicked lumps out of you. He struggled to find the last time he enjoyed playing football, like he did when he was a kid in the park with his friends or by himself practising free-kicks round the roundabout to the goal made from trees beyond.

Regardless, football was still what he lived for, his daily life was played out in a square mile in the Preston Park area of Brighton. His flat, the local pub, and work all surrounding the park which sported a few rough football pitches, some tennis courts and a café.

He had lived in Brighton since coming over from his native Ireland to study 17 years ago, attracted by his love of the sea. He never left like most of the transient population. He had put his degree to good use by working in a call-centre on a temporary basis, but ended up staying and rose through the ranks to lower-level management.

Despite it being the drug death capital of the UK, it was mostly a lovely place to live.

"I've got some news for you" Tony beamed, showing a gap where he lost a tooth where the ref had elbowed him in the tussle. "But you can't tell a soul"

"Hope it's good" Connor smirked looking at the near empty pint of Harvey's and at Tony's trousers where the rest now lay.

"Could say that. I won a few quid on the lottery last night. I would split it with the missus but we had a massive row over some reality programme she wanted to watch on catch-up clashing with Match of the Day, so she can do one"

"Nice one buddy" he genuinely retorted as it warmed his mood, he always pleased to hear good things happen to good people, and when Tony wasn't starting a punch up he was a good bloke. Tony owned his own reasonably successful firm, selling and installing hot tubs, and Connor had done a bit of cash in hand work for him in the past.

"£177,155 in all. Five numbers and the bonus ball" He carried on even when Connor fired a mouthful of ale over the table to annoyed glances of the bar staff. "But please don't say anything. I've been thinking, we've got our house, I hate travelling, I've got no kids to spend it on, and the only thing I love is football. So I want to buy a football club. Chipstead are in financial trouble and need a buyer, so I thought I'd make an offer."

Connor was convinced he was on a wind-up, but before he could question him the conversation was interrupted by player-manager Steve's arrival. He told them they would never play for the club again while he was in charge and that they were a disgrace. He blamed them for the 7-0 loss, calling them an embarrassment for their inept defensive display. It took under a minute for Tony to lose it and the second fight of the afternoon to break out.

3 weeks later Connor watched from the sidelines the final game of the season and agreed with the man and his dog that it was indeed dire. Regardless he felt like a part of him was missing as the final whistle blew to cue a pitch invasion. One of the player led the Labrador back to his owner and remarked he hoped the dog was not the culprit of the gift near the corner flag he slid into earlier. Connor lingered by the pitch and was moved to tears at the thought of football no longer filling his life. He despondently trudged to the pub over the road and was pleased to see Tony propping up the bar with a pint waiting, he couldn't miss him, he was 6ft 4, 18 stone with a flame of red hair.

The man mountain bought a fresh round and ushered his drinking partner to a table in the corner. They have been good friends for the last 3 years, since they both joined the new Sunday football league team in the area. They both drunk in the same pub, but hadn't really started a conversation up due to their differences; Tony was loud and enigmatic and Connor the thinker who often sat quietly drinking in the corner. Once they formed a (once) solid defensive partnership, they found they actually complimented each other well and had mutual respect for each other. Now they often sat in the pub musing about life and talking football after work. Tony had news, and was eager to share it.

"I've done it buddy, I've only gone and ruddy done it. You are looking at the next Alan Sugar"

"Done what Del Boy? Bought Chipstead? Or Spurs? You on a wind-up again?"

"Never joke about money sunshine, but not Chipstead, I've bought their place in the Ryman Isthmian League Division One South instead. Then I bought OUR club for a pound. It's all completed and arranged with the council, next year we're going to be in the Ryman league playing at the Withdean Stadium vacated by Brighton's move to the American Express Stadium. I want to hire you as a manager. How about it? We've got basic training facilities in the park, and very basic youth facilities, but we have a trophy cabinet waiting to be filled. And best of all as we have effectively been around since 2008 so can enter the FA Cup. Obviously our rivals are the local-based clubs in Brighton, Mile Oak and Whitehawk and all I want you to do is avoid relegation. Come on, you moan how much you hate your office job, and it will be just me and you, and football. Our football. Our football club, Preston Park Celtic in the Ryman league. What do you say?"

Tony had an arm round him and the other painting his vision in the sky with his spare hand, and both looked up comically at the mental image portrayed with fingers and body movements. Connor, stunned by his friends revelations could only nod open-mouthed in agreement. Tony gleefully jumped out of his seat and waltzed over to tell Steve he was sacked. If he could still move that sprightly perhaps he could play a part on the pitch next year.

Connor slumped back into his chair as he watched his hot-headed friend halt Steve's end of season speech to publicly fire and embarrass him. He mulled over the idea and looked at the squad of Sunday League players prising apart Tony and Steve. They were not up to the level required and if he didn't do some changes they'd be at the bottom of the league in no time. It would be a busy summer, and other than Football Manager he didn't have a clue. But it would sure beat working in an office, his new chairman Tony Gloom was right about that.

[mistahc]

The darkness enveloped him, the pressure of the water covered every inch of his body. It felt like he was wrestling a massive heavy duvet. He peered into the darkness below and tried to see the beast that held it's firm grip on his legs and pulling him to his doom, but he could see nothing but blackness. He kicked ferociously, the fear spurring his deep-seated instinct to survive. To live. The water was so cold it hurt like he was being stabbed by a million needles, and Connor envisioned himself covered in poisonous sea urchins.

The sand in the hour glass was trickling away, slowly running out.

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Connor sat in his new office and looked around. He was in comfortable surroundings, it was his own living room. He wasn't the only one slumming it, the players would have to get changed in a port-a-cabin. Once Brighton left the Withdean it went back to being an Athletics track. The club wouldn't need extra seating, the stand of 1000 would have no trouble housing the fans. Quite simply there weren't any.

The day before he had completed his notice period at his job as a lower-level manager at a bank. He handed his notice in before he found out he wasn't going to get paid in his new role, Tony had forgot to mention that minor detail. Connor was too stubborn and proud to retract the resignation, and on his departure he felt truly liberated at leaving behind the daily 9-5 grind. Now he could work from home in his pants, while watching day time telly. It was an appealing thought. He was presented a leaving card and a cake in the shape of a football, which slid from the plate in the presentation. He instantly regretted trying to control and volley through instinct. In his expected speech he said he wished he was a keeper as no doubt it could have been saved, unless it was particularly buttery. He then took the opportunity to "Quantum Leap it" and right some wrongs as he addressed his gathered hierarchy .

"For as nearly as long as I've worked here I have dreamed of this day when I get to leave and get my soul back, and please know that I could not have reached this goal without your never ending lack of support and your constant miscommunication, ignorance and intolerance for true talent. It takes a strong man to admit a mistake, and an even stronger one to immorally blame that mistake on me. I've been delighted to have worked with completely interchangeable higher management, on a variety of near identical projects to save money and screw over the little guy. Watching you take credit for my ideas and innoventions has been truly demoralising, and I was delighted to hear of the huge bonus's upper management got while our lower-level minions were told there was no money available for even a Christmas party, let alone a payrise to match inflation. Maybe one day someone will sit and do the job at customer level to see the great people that are mistreated, overworked, and underpaid, but are still strangely loyal to the company. They are great people, and they are mostly struggling on the breadline while you live in a big house. How can you sleep at night in the knowledge that you don't adequately reward them? I have one request as I depart, if you see me on the street, please ignore me as I will you. Thank you to everyone else, you have been superb, it's been emotional. Any budding footballers out there please feel free to contact me."

He looked at his new club issued ipad. Or pad as it's known. Tony had provided the A4 jotter and had written in the first page a memo of news. He had done an amazing deal with Brighton and Hove Albion agreeing to pay £50K a year to be the parent club to play a friendly and send some of their youth players on loan. Of course they would have first choice on any talent but it was worth it to develop links. He had also ensured the club maintained the key staff from the past regime, Mark Berry as assistant manager, Rod Jennings as coach, Chris Francis as scout, and Nicky Harrison as Physio.

Details of the budget were also listed, a generous £1900 p/w wage budget and currently spending only £110. Connor knew Tony was still a tight wad even with his lottery win and wouldn’t even entertain any conversations about more money. Luckily he had convinced ten of the Sunday league players to stay on unpaid on the basis they would be playing in the league and be semi-pro's and would offer contracts to any that impressed. He had spent the summer doing open trials for young local players who were offered £5 p/w bus money to get to training or buy some sweets. Connor chewed his pencil and detailed his squad for the league registration on his notepad. This gave him an opportunity to rate his first 11 which he knew were woeful.

He knew there was potential of avoiding relegation as any manager worth his salt knows you need a spine to the team; a decent keeper, central defender and striker. He chalked up his players who currently gave him that spine.

Martin Smith - 23 GK - Eccentric and prone to rushing out. Weak link.

Michael Reay - 24 DRC - Determined and brave defender who could captain the side

Oktay Bulut - 27 DMC – Hardworking but limited midfielder

Stewart Doherty - 28 - Determined striker.

It was a solid base, but he had concerns over the keeper so following his assistant managers advice he signed South African born Luke McCann to play in goal, who was playing as an amateur in South Africa.

He was in the middle of watching a rather gripping cliff-hanger of a lie-detector test on the Jeremy Kyle show, when the phone rang. He had already made up his mind the the boy had indeed cheated on his partner with her Grandmother, so he answered, the phone in one hand and his beer in the other.

It was The Non-League paper who wanted to do a press conference and with one eye on the TV Connor gave the promise of attacking football and was surprised they didn't questioned his obvious lack of experience. They predicted a finish of 21st, which he liked the sound of until he later found out there were 21 teams in the league.

Connor foolishly tried to arrange the first days training when everyone was working, so had to settle for Monday and Thursday evenings. On the first day he got every one he gathered the troops and gave an inspirational speech which was correctly identified as being from the film Any Given Sunday. Perhaps the Al Pacino impersonation gave it away. Afterwards he got the squad to play out an inter-squad friendly to see his team in action, and due to the players at his disposal with no left winger, he gave McCann a chance to impress in a 4-1-2-1-2 formation. And promptly beat the kids 2-0, even affording to miss a penalty, with the new goalie saving 4 shots on target.

Connor gathered the squad to sit down as a group, and passed round the beers. They were soon to find out their first opponents in the FA Cup and the FA Trophy, the season was looming closer and beginning to feel real.

FA Cup Prelim Rnd: Barrow Town or Desborough (away)

FA Trophy Prelim Rnd: Potters Bar of the Evo-Stik D1 North, the winner to play Prescot of the same league (both at home)

Connor had arranged the pre-season carefully to play weak sides at home to generate morale boosting wins and to try and get some wins under his belt. He brought in a DMC American called Eric Hummel on trial and he anchored the midfield to a 3-2 loss against Archdales, which only positive was Owen McCoy’s double making it 3 goals in pre-season. McCoy was a 16 year old striker who had more aggression that the chairman, but seemed to find the net. The opposition only had 4 shots on goal and Connor glared at his keeper. How easy it was to be in the spotlight in that position. He knew he needed new blood so extensively trawled the internet and sought out some free agents, signing David Lee (27 SC), Colin Murray (21 DC) and Harry Rubbins (19 MAC) so was now confident the spine of his team was complete; he had a goalie who could save, a defender who could tackle, 2 midfielders who could pass, and a striker who could finish. He eagerly anticipated the next game and played all 5 against Redcar.

The positivity lasted 10 minutes when Rubbins went off with a knock and the opposition scored. Murray was booked and the mood was somber in the half-time dressing room as they were 2-0 down. Connor was angry, and they knew it. It wasn’t a hair-drier, it was a furnace of fury. They pulled one back but lost 3-1.

Connor sat in the pub in reflective mood, staring at the lack bubbles in his beer. It was as flat as his miss-firing strikers. The condensation-soaked beer-mat was a solid as his goalie, who had conceded 3 for the second week in a row.

Next up were Championship side Brighton on their annual Sussex pre-season tour, and they had as much chance of success as he had of opening the bag of peanuts without scattering them everywhere.

The next game was a true test, but Connor took delight in meeting his opposite number Gus Poyet, and shared a few jokes with him about the Withdean pitch, and the challenge his side would be. The chairman Tony Gloom was also in attendance and gave him the thumbs up from his position next to the Brighton Chairman Tony Bloom and wondered if they joked how similar their names were, almost as if that was the inspiration. Brighton had already destroyed Worthing and Bognor in the preceding week so were on form. Prior to the match the Groundsman followed Connor’s direction and narrowed the pitch, he knew he had no wingers and that the pacey Lua Lua would exploit any space.

The Brighton team had a few first teamers mixed with youth, and played Will Buckley and Vicente on the wings. THE Vicente! The Spanish wing wizard who had thrilled Valencia fans for 11 seasons. 38 Spanish gaps and 3 goals. He was up against Mark Brammel who could not tackle a bag of crisps. On the other wing Buckley left 16 year old Tom Piper who was so slow the linesman got back quicker. Connor immediately regretted telling the lads no to worry as it was only a friendly. It took just 2 minutes to concede and Buckley left his man to slot in after just 2 minutes. What followed was the most embarrassingly one-sided games as a Man of the Match Vicente pulled the strings scoring a second half hat-trick and two assists in a 7-0 thrashing in front of a bumper 1464 crowd.

While he hated losing, he enjoyed the experience and loved every minute watching Vicente in action, and mimicked Gus on the touchline giving directions. He had no clue what the arm waving was doing or what some of the commands meant, but to be alongside the great man was something he could only dream about a few months ago. He joked in the pub afterwards that it was “the greatest result in the club’s history” to only lose 7-0. The Brighton manager had a drink with them and Connor hoped they had created a bond that would help the relarionship, and he took the opportunity to cheekily ask for loan possibilities for the season and made an offer for the talented Jake Forster-Caskey there and then. As they departed they shook hands and Gus promised him he’d get back to him in a few days. Connor promised next time they’d give them more of a game, and Gus bode him farewell and left some money behind the bar to cover the growing tab.

The next day Tony phoned him in a huff after reading the post-match review in the local rag.

“Uninspiring? Heavily beaten? We were brilliant. Keep it up lad and we’ll be in the Premier League in no time” He hung up before Connor could groggily reply that they still hadn’t won a game.

He had a call from one of the Brighton admin staff called to say Gus had accepted JFC’s loan offer, and it was with the player to decide. He then called all the players and did his best to tie down as many as possible, offering Hummel a deal to stay past his trial. Brighton called again as Jake wasn’t interested, and confirmed that no other players were willing to come on loan. Perhaps there was loyalty in football, and surely it was that rather than the thought of dropping down 7 levels of the football pyramid.

He had two games left to get the team morale back and get a much needed win. First up was Tadley. He came into the dressing room and on his kit pile was a present from the Chairman. He was surprised to open it and find a CD titled “The Defamation of Strickland Banks” and a note saying “you need a Plan B”. He put it on for the team and quickly skipped the second song "writing's on the wall" hoping it wasn’t a hint from his employer. Minutes before kick-off he gathered the team and told them straight.

“Pre-season or not, you’ve got to win this”.

45 minutes they were back after Colin Murray had tapped a corner in, and David Lee had added two more to give a 3-0 lead. The relief was evident and they ran out 6-0 winners, with McCoy, Onyekachi and an own-goal. Tony rushed in delighted.

“First class lads, well done David on your two goals and two assists, we’re cooking on gas now. You really gave those 14 fans something to cheer about.”

“14?” Connor questioned

“Dogs count, they have eyes so they watched”.

“Keepers who save and strikers who score” Connor mused “that’s what I needed boss, you just watch us go now we’ve got that first win under our belt”.

Conner kept faith with same team and prayed for goals and a clean sheet against Fleet Spurs in the last friendly, sending them out with gentle encouragement. The game finished 2-0 with David Lee scoring and impressing the 31 strong crowd.

“The dogs must have brought their mates” sniggered Connor as he reflected over the end to a mixed pre-season and picked Michael Raey as his club captain. The first game of his managerial career was just a week away and he couldn’t wait.

Pre-season

07.07.11 - Friendly - Reserves (H) - W 2-0 - Hancock. McCoy

09.07.11 - Friendly - Archdales (H) L 2-3 - McCoy(2)

16.07.11 - Friendly - Redcar (H) L 1-3 - Caton

24.07.11 - Friendly - Brighton (H) L 0-7

31.07.11 - Friendly - Tadley (H) W 6-0 - Murray, Lee(2), McCoy, Onyekachi, O.G

07.08.11 - Friendly - Fleet Spurs (H) W 2-0 - Lee, O.G

[tenthreeleader]

I love that you've tried characterization with your first effort here. This is a very nice first effort.

I took a liberty in formatting your last post. I hope you do not mind. When you insert large blocks of copy, separating them with line breaks can make it easier for your reader to digest. Look at the difference between that and your first post to see what I mean. If you don't like it, feel free to ignore me

Welcome and nice work so far!

[mistahc]

I love that you've tried characterization with your first effort here. This is a very nice first effort.

I took a liberty in formatting your last post. I hope you do not mind. When you insert large blocks of copy, separating them with line breaks can make it easier for your reader to digest. Look at the difference between that and your first post to see what I mean. If you don't like it, feel free to ignore me

Welcome and nice work so far!

Thanks, the problem is writing it in word pad and transferring it over, but you are right about the formatting and line breaks, it is written like that on word but not transferring.

I was genuinely unsure if anyone would like it and was writing it for myself really. It's invigorated my FM Playing.

[mark wilson27]

I was genuinely unsure if anyone would like it and was writing it for myself really. It's invigorated my FM Playing.

You must always write for yourself otherwise you wont enjoy it. However you have no worries about people not liking it.

[tenthreeleader]

Thanks, the problem is writing it in word pad and transferring it over, but you are right about the formatting and line breaks, it is written like that on word but not transferring.

I was genuinely unsure if anyone would like it and was writing it for myself really. It's invigorated my FM Playing.

If you use the "go advanced" tab from the quick reply box when you post, you'll get a view where you can format your post. I'm glad your FM playing is boosted by writing. That's the case with me too and always has been. I do hope you continue to post because frankly, you write like you've got a clue about what you're doing. So good for you!

[mistahc]

His arms waved frantically, rippling the water with it's movements and it provoked a childhood memory of surfing his hand out of an open car window. It reached through the darkness for what he believed was up and he longed for his fingers to find a way out of the dark underwater tomb and feel air again. His hand disappeared into the abyss and he felt nothing but the void. His shoulders tensed with the stress, and he pondered how much more oxygen he had in his lungs.

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Connor sat alone in his flat he once shared with his girlfriend of 4 years. A few months back she had challenged him about his obsession with Football Manager, he wasn't too sure what she said exactly as he was making a big money signing for Liverpool who he was convinced was the missing piece. She had snapped the laptop down and gave an ultimatum, her or football. By the time his new signing got his debut goal, she had cleared her stuff out and sewn some frozen prawns into the curtains.

On the plus side Connor could now get Sky Sports so was now watching his native Ireland play out a bore draw with Colombia, numbed by a few beers. The strong end to pre-season gave him an inflated opinion of his abilities and he day-dreamed about getting a call to replace Trappatoni. He wondered about contacting Trap for the U19's job and quickly brought himself down to earth about the ridiculous thought.

He absent-mindedly flicked through a betting website and was drawn to his teams odds. They were 10-1 to beat Worthing away in the league opener. He wasn’t sure if he was allowed but he stuck a tenner on his team to win and Lee to score any time which returned a nice £470.

On the Friday he displayed the same level of confidence in the press conference until a question threw him about who he thought would win the league. He hadn’t even scouted out the opposition in the slightest so embarrassingly suggested his own team to sniggers from the gathered press who obviously didn't agree.

On the day of the match he awoke early, unable to sleep through excitement, or perhaps the strange smell that now lingered in the flat. He cursed his naivety in not watching Worthing play in advance. He looked at his wardrobe and found himself flummoxed about what to wear. Suit? Tracksuit? Jeans? He was superstitious so picked up his lucky pants and stopped himself from kissing them for luck with a thought about when they were last cleaned. He made a mental note to ask Tony for a club suit or tracksuit as he threw on his training gear.

He froze "Lucky socks? Do I even have any? I'll take an obvious pair in case they are today".

After a bacon sandwich he was still fidgety so drove down to watch the U18’s grind out a promising 3-2 win and went to the Worthing Stadium early. He convinced the staff to let him on the pitch and stood on the centre circle of the Woodside Stadium admiring the panoramic view. It was breezy and about 13 degrees and he pulled his coat tight to protect himself from the light shower that fell around him. He again cursed himself for not registering as a player manager to get a 5 minute run out at this level, long something he thought he was capable of. He still day-dreamed about playing the game himself and it was alien to think of him cheering from the side-lines.

His mind wondered and he imagined being the next Alex Ferguson, or at least the next Darren Ferguson. Hell, he'd even settle for being the next Rebecca Ferguson who at least had her 5 minutes of fame on the X-Factor.

He ran through his team in his mind. He’d stick to the 4-1-2-1-2 formation his players were used to. He'll play Doherty in the hole, as had started to get a good understanding with Lee, who was the main man up front. McCann would start in goal obviously, Reay, who had played rightback in the last game Tony and Connor had played at Sunday League, would continue to play at CB as he had all pre-season and captain the side, lining up next to Colin Murray. 16 Year Tom Piper would have to play leftback due to lack of options, but Reece Palmer the 21 ex-Sunday league would take right-back. Hummel would continue to anchor midfielder, with Rubbins and 23 year old Joshua Poke in centre mid. McCoy would continue upfront with Lee as they scored 7 between them in Pre-season, and he got 4 of them. McCoy actually was the best performer so was impossible to drop.

Connor sat in his car to dry off and watched as the players pulled up one by one. He panicked when he realised he hadn’t organised a lift for the young McCoy and Piper, and was delighted when he saw Reay arrive with them taking his Club Captain role seriously.

They all got changed and he gathered them together in hushed tones and simple said “I expect you to win today”. The team looked at each other confused, then at their gaffer. Connor simply walked off hoping his psychology would work. “Believe in yourselves lads” he whispered to himself as he walked off.

Tony came and joined him in the dug-out wearing a Motty style sheep-skin coat, and rubbed his hands together with glee.

“Here we are, in the big time. Let’s start the season in style”.

The rain had obviously not dampened his optimism. He held his breath as the whistle blew to kick things off and he half expected the game to start at a frantic pace. It didn't and instead the nerves were evident and he watched with pride as his team passed it around until they grew in confidence. Worthing were poor, and made a mockery of their 5th media position in his opinion. In the first 10 minutes both Lee and Doherty had chances they sent wide. Connor knew they were panicking and snatching at their chances. So far himself and Tony had not said a word to each other and were more like fans watching the match, with the usual gasps at the near efforts and the occasional "well played son". Connor was expecting himself to mentally kick every ball, so this fan-like experience caught him by surprise.

19 minutes in Doherty was fouled and lay prone on the floor, Connor found himself on his feet remonstrating with the ref even though he felt his player went down easy. Connor realised he hadn’t picked a free kick taker and shouted from the side-lines as Michael Reay stood up to take it. He had never scored a free-kick in his life and in rating the teams skill sets in training he had regustered a 3 out of 20.

“Harry! HARRY!” screamed Connor, indicating that he wanted Harry Rubbins to take it, he had signed him for that very role and he was technically the best in the club.

Reay heard it as ‘Hurry’ and thought his gaffer was indicating for a quick free kick so he smashed it goalwards, right in the top corner of the onion bag. Tony and Connor went crazy, and the chairman praised the goal for being straight out the training ground. Connor didn’t correct him, he knew there were good managers and lucky managers, and he would be happy with the latter.

12 minutes later Piper played a short throw in to McCoy who ran down the line and crossed to Lee’s waiting head, where it bounced fortuitously off his face and in. This convinced Connor of his luck. A stunned team sat in the half-time dressing room as they were encouraged by their manager to keep it up. And they did, Lee completing his hat-trick in a 6-2 win to take them to the top of the league. Poke scored the other 2 to further add to the surprise as he had an unspectactular pre-season.

The next day a hungover Connor woke up and put on the local news to see a repeat of his press-conference beaming about a superb win. Soon as the mike was off and his duties complete he met the team in the pub, his bet winnings were all put behind the bar for the team to celebrate the genuine “greatest result in the club’s history”.

He found and played a voicemail from the chairman who was quoting from the paper “Trounced it says! They call Lee’s first goal a freak but what do they know? He might have meant that! Brilliant, top of the league and roll on Tuesday to beat Burgess Hill, they are second so it’s a promotion 6 pointer. I’m cutting this out and putting it on the wall. By the way we sold 25 season tickets, and that’s not counting the dogs.”

Connor winched at the optimism. At least his was faked to mask how nervous and out of his depth he felt, this man truly seemed to believe they were going to win the league.

Monday it was back to training and the squad were buoyant, although obviously shattered and still suffering from the weekend drinking excess. The game was the next day but the team would not be match fit in time. So he had a choice, play the same team, or completely change it and play the kids. On deciding momentum was more important than fitness he braved the same team risking injury.

This was the first home game and Connor wished the U18's were playing so he could follow the same routine. He had a bacon sandwich for dinner just on the off chance it would help. If it did or not, the crowd of 106 saw a Piper inspired team beat Burgess Hill with goals for Doherty and Murray, later described as a highly polished performance by the media.

The same team played their third game in a week before an 8 day rest against Whitstable away. This was a more organised trip with a coach being arranged and gave Connor a chance to build on the team spirit. Again the bookies gave them no chance and placed them at 10-1 to get a win. But win they did, but at a cost.

It was evident that the legs were heavy in the laboured 1-0 victory won by Rubbins second half poachers effort, the press would later comment on the profligacy and wasted chances. The damage was what Connor feared, young Piper was carried off late with a hip injury.

In the aftermath while the Chairman and the team celebrated, Connor and the Physio comforted the teary 17 year old as they discussed options. The Physio offered an injection for the next game which would see him through but could then be out for 9-11 months. Even with his key performances this was not an option for Connor to risk this young lads season and development. The Physio advised of a specialist that could help and it could only be a 3 month period before he was back playing again. Disregarding the cost of £500 Connor quickly chose this option and walked off.

He had work to do, although they had a week before the next game he wasn’t comfortable in his cover for the 3 months. He had to find another player for the 3 months minimum.

On Monday he sat on his sofa laptop at the ready wondering how do you even find out who is available for loan for every club in the world? He didn't want to bring in more high profile players commanding a lion's share of his wage budget, but would he have a choice? He emailed his assistant manager for help, who as an accountant was particularly stat-based. He sent back a list of free-agents who would likely consider a move.

His eye was immediately caught by Luis Ovalle, a 22 year old Panamanian who had just played for Panama. He knew he wanted him, but would he need a work permit? He went for it safe in the knowledge that if he was interested it would be a real coup. But what if he couldn't join he feared. He made a secondary offer for Thomas Lyskov, a 20 year old Dane who could play all the way up the left side. That could solve the lack of a left winger in the same swoop if that formation was needed.

He made an offer excitedly knowing he would cancel the deal if Ovalle would sign, and chuckled as it reminded him of internet shopping. He wondered if players had a 10 day no obligation return option thanks to the long distance selling act, and then chuckled if Graham Souness wished he had that option when signing that player at Southampton who pretended to be George Weah's cousin, but was in fact useless at football.

He then questioned why he was looking abroad and knew it was because he wanted a flair signing to draw the crowds in. So he then found every Left-back listed for loan in England and made an offer for Charlie Taylor, a 17 year old for Leeds that was also on the transfer list. He might be able to snap him up if he was good enough.

He stretched out on the sofa and thanked his lucky stars he wasn't in an office and thought he'd play a bit of Football manager until training started at 8pm. He was so absorbed he didn't notice the time and at 7:30 had to run out without a shower to run his team through their paces.

The next day Lyskov's agent excitedly responded to the offer and said that as the player was without a club for so long he welcomed the opportunity to get back into football. Connor ponded his options and even tossed a coin. On the assumption Ovalle would not get a work permit, he knew the Dane was the logical due to his left wing flexibility and he wanted to join right now. So he signed him and proudly called Tony to tell him about the opportunity to promote the club in Scandinavia. Mr Gloom said he just hoped he was worth the wages.

13.08.11 - League - Worthing (A) W 6-2 - Reay, Lee(3), Poke(2)

16.08.11 - League - Burgess Hill (H) W 2-0 - Doherty, Murray

20.08.11 - League - Whitstable (A) W 1-0 - Rubbins

[mistahc]

It was lonely in the solitude of the darkness of the water and Connor felt like time had been suspended. He was dragged deeper and deeper, and he began to lose the will to fight, choosing to instead bargain for redemption to anyone or anything that would listen.

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Connor was sat watching the Luc Besson film The Big Blue about free divers, and read on the internet that the current world record for holding breath underwater was an astonishing 22 minutes 22 seconds. He shuddered, he hated the thought of being underwater that long.

Next up was Ramsgate at home on the August Bank Holiday Monday. Connor was still wearing his tracksuit even though Tony had bought him the Club emblazoned gear at his request. The bacon sandwich ritual was also followed and as they were top and Ramsgate second bottom this was the most optimistic he had been all season for a thumping win.

All the years playing Football Manager should have taught him otherwise and the only thing getting thumped was the drinks containers as Connor hoofed them in anger at the 0-0 draw. He told the team how frustrated he was, which fired them up but the reality was evident.

The next game was the FA Cup and David Lee hadn't scored since his opening day hat-trick, McCoy just hadn't scored, and the team did not manage a single shot on target. It was a false economy, while they were still top of the league on goal difference with Sittingbourne, he felt they should be clear. Still, win, lose, on the booze, and he made his way to the local for some grub and a few pints.

The next day he was foggy, but more relaxed and reflected on the positives. They should be bottom of the league and not top, they had three clean sheets in a row, the new signing Lyskov settled in and had a good game at left back, Barrow were an amateur side so should be beatable. It could even be the catalyst for Lee to start scoring again.

In training he made an effort to be encouraging again and tried to fill their head with a perception that they were the greatest team around. The reality was he watched McCoy closely. Was he the goalscoring machine he seemed to be in pre-season? Should he get a new player in? He wasn't convinced his body language looked right and worried that he threw him into first team action too soon.

When he got home he continued his obsession with the loan list and free-agent list. Mario Balotelli had been listed for loan after probably another bust-up with Mancini, and Connor dreamed of a day he'd have that sort of manager problem. His assistant convinced him that none of the players would want to come. Convinced his assistant was giving him information just on permanent moves, he made a tentative loan bid for Matthew Paterson, a 21 Year old Scottish striker at Southend who was on both the loan and transfer list.

Someone in the office must have been working late as he was quickly told the bid was accepted but the player refused. He begrudgingly accepted the assistant manager perhaps did know his stuff after all.

He found an email from the Home Office to confirm Ovalle was refused a work permit, so at least bringing in Tomas was the right call. He wrote an email back referencing Brighton rejecting Ian Wright for being too old, and Sheffield Wednesday rejecting Cantona, and saying that every time Luis Ovalle would be mentioned as just missing out on a move to a tiny club in Brighton before he was famous, everyone who know the name of the person who wouldn't sign off the work permit.

The email would later come back advising that any club not in the Premier League was irrelevant and it was all about whatever Manchester club was better at the time and reminded him that his plea for a left back for the FA Cup game was clearly a lie as it didn't start until January.

The Thursday brought the biggest surprise and a nice moment for the CV, when Tony called to advise him that he had won the Manager of the Month over Lee Parkin of Sittingbourne who had the same results in 3 wins and a draw. Connor was genuinely shocked and decided to write an email to his ex-boss referencing his last appraisal where his ability was questioned, linking in the award. He was slightly disappointed to discover there was not cash award to accompany the trophy as things were getting a little tight.

The game against Barrow could have been described as the biggest in the club's history to date. The bookmakers for the first time made Preston Park Celtic favourites, and a massive 1-33 on to win. To bond Connor made the squad all come round to Chairman's house to watch England draw 0-0 away to Bulgaria. It was secretly an attempt to make sure the team didn't drink but someone got a crate of beers out regardless.

Connor woke in the morning, and put on his club gear at the request of his boss, which he didn't mind as the winning streak was over. He watched the U18's regardless and hoped their 1-0 loss was not a sign of things to come.

He was actually panicking at this game as they were actually expected to win, and he preferred not to have the pressure of expectation. He then joined the Team coach and Tony entertained the team on the way up to Barrow, cursing himself for bringing out the beer. He wasn't sure why he thought beer was bad, he was just sure that they didn't do it at the top level.

He was delighted to see a handful of away fans had travelled too, and occupied a corner. At least he thought they were their fans but they still hadn't organised any songs so it was hard to tell. He went for the same team and all of signs were piling up; different suit, no bacon sandwich, U18's lost. He was far more animated and paced the touch-line screaming at the team.

"Dave-O, Dave-O, push forward! Get in the box!" The striker shrugged his shoulders and kept his on-side position.

At Half-time it was 0-0 and he pondered his team-talk. He wanted to let all of his frustration go and scream at them. But the reality was they were effectively a Sunday League team up against another bunch of amateurs. He kept up the gentle encouragement and wanted them to believe a win would surely come in the second half, and left Tony to his motivational dancing (affecticationally called the Truffle Shuffle by the players). Sneaking out Connor ran up to the food stand and asked for a bacon sandwich, settling for a burger-bun and two rashers of bacon.

Chomping on a Bacon-burger minus the burger, as the second half kicked off he was convinced the team looked more confident. He sent an email to himself to remind himself to get bacon sandwich's on the home menu for emergencies. When David Lee slotted home in the 51st minute he was promising to buy a pig as the mascot for real emergencies. Tony flattened him with the celebration but he didn't care.

By the time Lee completed his hat-trick he was convinced the fans were singing "He scores a hat-trick, when he wants" to the tune of 'the whole world in his hands', but that might have just been him and Tony. Doherty got a forth, before the team conceded two late goals. He knew the Ferguson's of this world would be livid with the late goals, but he was too busy bundling hat-trick Hero Lee.

"Don't hurt him, he's our best player" he heard someone squeal in a high-pitched tone. It was him.

He felt like the King of the World in his bed reading the Sunday papers. The non-league paper had the best coverage, showing that Barrow only had 2 shots on goal and scored them both. He should have been worried, but he was too busy imagining walking up the Wembley steps in the final and not having to buy the energy drinks in the pound shop ever again. The paper quoted his pre-match press conference statement that as long as they were in the cup they had a chance of winning it. It was stated at the time as a matter of fact but was under the headline "We're going to win the cup" which made him cringe.

The local Brighton paper had a small section as Preston Park Celtic would now face their local rivals Whitehawk in the First qualifying round. Coincidently they were also their next opponents in the league just two days away. That was another day, so he enjoyed his lie-in and he now prayed to the pork God. He decided if he did get that pig it would be called Bacon Sandwich.

29.08.11 - League - Ramsgate (H) D 0-0

03.09.11 - FA Cup Prelim - Barrow Town (A) W 4-2 Lee(3), Doherty

[mistahc]

Connor watched while his assistant ran the training. He was pretending to look thoughtful but the reality was he was day-dreaming again of having to come of the bench to score a hat-track in the FA Cup final for his team, as McCoy hadn't scored all season. He still gave the impression of a player devoid of confidence and not the precocious teenager who lit up pre-season. He had a good look at his performance, played 5, scoring none, but with 3 assists. He looked at the other options, and none had scored a goal at any level. He pulled out his phone and checked the free-agent list yet again. He saw a Liberian striker called Abe Kumara who played for Everton last year. He looked unlikely to get a work permit but made an offer anyway.

Sitting in front of the press conference he felt like a boxer, faking confidence that his team were unbeatable, and that we was a master tactician. He wasn't, he was lucky and he knew it. He lifted up his hand and lied he was as cool as a cucumber and that all his team had to do was follow his game plan.

Whitehawk away was effectively a home game for the players. They could sleep in their own beds and the home fans could also visit as easily as the Withdean. He went to the ASDA supermarket on the Marina and bought himself a couple of beers, and had a walk down by the boats until a voice made him turn.

"'Ere, aren't you that bloke who manages Preston Park Celtic?"

"Yes, I am actually" he said smiling until the spit landed in his face as the kid ran off. It was at that point he became determined to win that night and never live in that part of Brighton. Sitting on waterside looking at the boats he decided to drop his players who were struggling for fitness. That meant no Palmer, Lyskov, Poke and Rubbins. New full-banks and centre mid. In came Bramall and Jones at Right-back and left-back respectively, and two DMC's in Onyekachi and Bulut. He decided to give McCoy one last chance up front. He drained what was left of his drink and made the short walk to the ground.

In the dressing room, he quietened the room and said "hear that? That's the fans that have paid good money to come and see you, get out there and give them their moneys worth". Reay as Captain thought he should speak on behalf of the group, so he mentioned that those were the Whitehawk fans signing rude songs about the visiting team. He was right, and Connor decided he really needed to teach those fans some songs. He sent the team out to do it for the fans regardless.

He sat in his seat and prepared for kick off, he now carried a note pad to make it look like he had at least a plan B and would occasionally scribble a note. He was horrified to discover that the gobby kid was sitting near him and shouting abuse already. He glanced up and saw there was a few of them giving it large. He called one of his players over and whispered some last moment instructions in his ear. A few moments later he looked back up to the kids who were seemingly shaking some coffee beans at him and shouting something.

"Oi, oi, you're a wa...........owww" he was interupted by the ball smashing him in the face and Connor chuckled as tears built up and the abuse stopped, and he wished Lee would be that lethal with his shooting in the match.

The game was eventful. Low and behold McCoy got the opener, repaying the faith in him, and unaware how close he was to getting dropped. Doherty and Lee got late goals. The half ended with a horror challenge on Captain Reay who came off injured. Lee got his second to finish the game off. And Connor joined Tony in doing the Truffle Shuffle in celebration. Part of him wondered if he should get a opposition fan to spit in face every game for luck.

McCoy was as relieved as his manger that he finally broke his 8 hours without a goal, the finish was a club and league record for the youngest goalscorer. Connor wondered if this was a mental obstacle for him and hoped he would now kick start a run of form. The Physic reported that luckily Captain Reay was only out for 10 days with a bruised shin, which was also a relief.

There was just one game before the FA Cup game the following Wednesday. Deciding the Cup game was more important Connor decided not to risk unfit players and brought in a young rightback, centre back, defensive midfielder and a striker in for McCoy. Lee scored another Hat-trick in the 4-2 win with replacement striker Shonk also notching.

In Tuesday's training session he thought he saw a different team; organised, fluid, confident and professional. His assistant ran the training again and he saw great body language in his strike pairing. And Lee should be confident with 11 goals in 7 games. Reay was sitting on the sidelines looking glum so Connor walked over.

"What's on the notepad boss?"

"Never you mind Captain Fantastic, how's the shin?" Connor didn't want his voice in the dressing room to see it was full of doodles and not match-winning plans.

"Hurts still, still can't walk yet but I really want to play boss. Please let me put one over them."

"We'll let the Physio decide" he lied, he knew he wouldn't risk him but was determined to win for him. The team was picked, with Davies continuing to deputise for him and Jones still in for the unfit Lyskov. Other than that it was the same team.

He had a bacon sandwich for dinner and walked down to the stadium and stood in the centre circle for a few moments. Some of the fans started to arrive and unfurled a massive banner stating "In Bacon we trust". Rumours of Connor's ritual had obviously leaked. He walked up to them and had a chat. One promised to bring a pig if they made it to the third round. Another debuted a chant they had written which sounded to the untrained ear like oinking. Connor reminded them that they were called the Super Hoops not the pigs. They reminded him that as the fans they could sing what they wanted. They had him there.

He gathered the team and quietened things down after Tony's dancing had riled them. Then he walked out with out saying anything prompted some anger in the dressing room. As they entered the pitch though they could see the manger and Captain down with the fans beckoning the players over. So off they trotted. They all gathered in a huddle by the oinking fans and their manager urged them to give the fans their money's worth. They were fired up, smoked even. Although McCoy thought it was a bit rash(er).

Connor first caught sight of the abusive teen with a bruised face as he celebrated Lee's 8th minute opener with Tony, still more fans than Manager and Chairman. Once McCoy had made it 2-0 he showed him the score on his fingers. It stayed 2-0 and they all celebrated by wallowing in the mud, happy as pigs in the smelly stuff.

In the press conference he told them he was going to make the team wear suits out of Bacon when they got to the final. His mood changed when they asked him how his team would cope without McCoy. He at first thought they were making a joke about Bacon crisps but his Physio pointed to the memo in front of him. McCoy had suffered a gash leg and was out for 3-4 weeks. Connor must have missed it all in the excitement and later found out he finished the game with a nasty injury caused by yet another dirty Whitehawk challenge. He stuttered a response that they would cope without him. Inside he was screaming. In just a few days time they were to face Potters Bar away in the FA Trophy who were a league above. His club were already 50-1 to win and he had planned on a nice bet on McCoy to score in the win as he was hitting form.

He joined the players to celebrate their win, and checked his phone. The Liberian striker failed his work permit even though he captained the international side a few days ago. He was sure it was from the same guy who rejected Cavelle's and he decided he must be a Whitehawk fan.

In desperation he rang Gus Poyet, to once again seek out loan possibilities.

In all the excitement he didn't promote anyone to the first team, a move he would later regret.

06.09.11 - League - Whitehawk (A) W 4-0 - McCoy, Doherty, Lee(2)

10.09.11 - League - Godalming (H) W 4-2 - Lee(3), Shonk

14.09.11 - FA Cup 1st Qual - Whitehawk W 2-0 - Lee, McCoy

[mistahc]

Silence. Just the sound of his heart beating in the darkness and the swirl of the water in his ears.

Down and down he sank

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When Saturday came around Connor had his usual routine, acting the Special One in the press conference, eating a double round of Bacon sarnies just for luck. He watched the reserves draw 1-1 and saw an excited young James Hancock come over.

"Hi boss, erm, how does this work, do I just turn up later? Or do you send someone to pick me up once the team has been announced?" Connor looked at his grinning face and burst out laughing at the lanky 16 year old who had not had a game for the youth team or reserves let alone the first team.

"oh" he continued "it's just that all the other fit strikers played either yesterday for the reserves or just now so I presumed you told the gaffer to leave me on the bench as I was playing later"

"Of course you are playing Jason, as soon as Owen was injured I thought of you to fill his boots" he said hiding the panic. If he stood up now he'd have taken the seat as his bum cheeks were so tightly clenched.

"James"

"No, C-O-N-N-O-R, don't you know who your manager is sunshine?"

"No, my names James not Jason. You called me Jason"

"Right, right, I've nick-named you after Jason Roberts. Off you go son and get yourself rested, you need to be at the ground at 1:00 latest with your kit for the coach as it's a bit of a drive to Potters bar."

Connor rubbed his eyes and bit his lip. He had a full team bar a striker to replace McCoy, it would be like playing with 10 men but what choice did he have. He went off singing the theme tune to a show he titled 10 and a half men to the ground early. After chatting to Glenda in the canteen to ensure she had put Bacon in David Lee's pre-match pasta, he caught up with Tony who was in the nearby pub. They had a swift pint before the fans started to arrive. Tony bought the fans in the pub a round before it got too busy, he liked the idea of the fans thinking he was generous but actually hated spending money but thought the impression would stick. There were so few fans he knew them by name and appearance, he just wished they could afford a hot-tub.

"What's with the inflatable pig?" he asked one arriving but was met with lots of oinking. Confused, he headed off to the car park to the coach with Conner in tow. They flew up the stairs and saw David Lee taking young whatshisname under his wing and giving advice. He was telling about how he always put his right boot on first and Connor scoffed at the superstition, it was clearly the bacon in his pasta that was doing it.

Due to heavy traffic they were a bit delayed, so the players had to get ready on the coach and they arrived at 2:50 fully kitted and riled up.

"Right lads, we can do this, we've got good form so keep it up, we can win this" Tony nodded like he believed it and then asked who the kid was discreetly. "It's the new Jason Roberts, mark my words he'll score".

And on 18 minutes David Lee burst into the box and laid it off for young James Hancock to score his first senior goal in his first appearance. Doherty and Lee scored before they pulled one back on the stroke of half-time. After some more encouragement Lee completed his hat-trick before asking for a new bottle of drink as his tasted like someone had spiked it with Frazzles. Tony congratulated him on his tactical master-stroke and once again Connor thanked his luck rather than judgement.

They partied on the coach with Lee protecting Hancock from some drunk senior players who wanted to put him in the luggage shelf. Connor could see the bond and potential partnership forming, and hoped it would continue for a few months. He calmed everyone down with news of the next round draw, it was Prescot Cables at home. He let them go through a few rounds of "who are ya" before his phone gave him the information he was looking for in the Evo-stick Division north. He did the press conference on the phone and waxed lyrically about his new wonder-kid, in that he wondered where he came from and what his name was again.

17.09.11 - FA Trophy Prelim - Potters Bar (A) W 5-2 - Hancock, Doherty, Lee(3)

[mistahc]

On the Monday evening training session, the team gathered round as the draw of the 2nd qualifying was announced. Hastings at home, who were currently sitting pretty in the Premier League. Well, sitting pretty on the bottom of the Ryman Premier League. Lady Luck smiled again giving another home draw against another local team. The club drew Billericay in the Alan Boon Cup 2nd Round, Connor announcing the team name in a near-perfect Bianca-esq Eastenders style.

The week flew by with limited incidents of note. Connor decided to play the same team against Crawley Down and keep Hancock in. He saw enough between the strike force to believe he had something special. On the day Hancock smashed in a first half penalty and a tap-in in from close range in the 80th minutes to make it three in two. No goals for Lee so Connor suspected he was passing his bacon-shakes to Hancock. He praised the player none the less in the press conference and took credit for discovering him.

Times were changing at the club, the last attendance was 111, the record being 288 for the Whitehawk cup game, and the team extended the winning streak to seven in a row with a 2-0 win over Hythe away with a Lee double and both Connor and Lee were recognised in the Monthly awards.

In Friday's training session Connor was sitting watching his assistant put the team through their paces when he heard someone calling his name loudly and repeatedly. Being the curious fellow he wandered over and saw it was the old man who used to watch the Sunday League games with his Labrador, which he struggled to recall the name.

"CONNOR!!!!" He shrieked again and whistled as from the bushes the dog came bounding over to his owner as his human namesake approached. "Ah Connor there you are, found your balls yet?"

"What ever do you mean?" replied Connor, the Manager not the dog, that would be weird. "We've come a long way since you saw us last", he added after working out he wasn't being addressed to cover for his mistake.

"Hythe?" Questioned the old man "Yup heard you played well and deserved the win. First game I've missed this season, I went up to Prescot to see them beat Farlsey 2-1. Tyrone Fagan scored both their goals, but that's his first in the league this season. He's not a patch on Lee. Their keeper was a young lad and kept rushing out, I reckon if you exploit that with Dohery's pace it would reap dividends. I've been watching you guys for a few years and my dog is named after you. I took him when he was a pup and he would never respond to the name I wanted to call him, but every time you went up for a header you shouted your name to claim and his ears pricked up each occasion. He can't head a ball for toffee either so it's quite apt. Jason's the name, Jason Pullan."

They shook hands and while the canine chewed his old tennis ball, his owner went on to explain that the team took some time to gel to the formation but were now comfortable. He said they were topping the league as all the opposition were poor and had no doubt they would walk the league due to the players they had signed who were a higher standard. Connor's attention was caught by a bouncing football that flew past the goal and he used it as as excuse to head back to training, unnerved that this was a very knowledgeable man who probably knew he was a one trick pony using the same formation and never making a substitution unless he had to.

On the day of the game he followed the same ritual and he watched his side pass the ball about and not create many chances, but taking a respectable 0-0 draw into half-time. Hancock collided with a Prescot player after half hour so had to come off injured, and foolishly with no strikers on the bench Connor was forced to move Doherty up front. He kept up the deluded encouragement and 10 minutes into the second half Lee played a ball to Doherty who used his pace to head the ball past the out-rushing keeper to score.

He looked up to see the old man giving a knowing smile and a salute. Did he know it was a fluke or think it was a master-stroke moving Doherty up front? His side controlled the game, and then in the 90th minute Lee hassled their leftback, who passed back to the keeper to smash it up field, Hummel returned it to Lee who had run back centrally in line with the last defender. The keeper rushed out and clattered the player as he slid it past to make it 2-0. Connor and Tony were jumping up and down holding each other when they realised something was wrong, Lee was still down.

As he hobbled off Connor faced the prospect of having no fit strikers for the FA Cup game a few days later. His mind was racing during the press conference while he waited for injury news, barely acknowledging the question on McCann's 288 minutes without conceding a goal.

In training Monday he was relieved to see both Hancock and Lee were moving, albeit gingerly. The Physio reported that Lee, Doherty, Rubbins and Hummel were all exhausted and needed a long rest. He would have complained that 12 games in 6 weeks was nothing for a professional footballer, but he wasn't paying them and they had day jobs too so it was no wonder they were shattered.

He saw Jason watching again so rambled over on the pretence of picking up a loose ball and went to say hello. He walked away with a new scout, Jason was a big fan and happy to scout for free and obviously had the time and desire to do it. He now had a scout report for Worthing too; they had a quality keeper who used to play for Stoke. Their danger man was O'Brien who had scored 4 out of 4 and was brilliant at free-kicks. This would be their toughest test so far.

Jason was invited to the obligatory cup draws with Eversham away in the FA Trophy, and if they beat Hastings a home draw to Oxford City in the FA Cup. The new chief scout gave them the details, who were both in the Evo-Stik Southern Premier League.

Wednesday came fast and Connor assessed his squad. No injuries, just fitness issues. McCoy was back in training, but clearly unfit. So were most of the team. Bemoaning his lack of a squad he knew he had no choice, he went to the pub. Having a quiet pint he caught up with some of the fans and enjoyed a few free drinks. Reminded of the story that Jack Charlton still never had to pay for a pint of Guinness in Ireland, he dreamed of a day when the Harvey's were free in Sussex. Filled with Dutch courage and some pork scratchings, he went for the same team with McCoy on the bench. He mumbled some words of encouragement and sent the team out too nervous to watch.

He took his time finding his seat and was having a wee when Hastings scored an early goal. He thumped the wall in frustration and then wished he had finished before re-acting. He took his seat and ignore the stares from his Chairman as he excused himself with fibs of a leaky sink in the toilets. He was convinced the winning streak was over at the worse possible time, and Hastings could and should have had a penalty when Reay challenged their striker.

Connor still had his head in his hands when his side won a corner kick. Hummel sent the cross in which was headed clear. Hancock picked up the loose ball first, and passed it back to Hummel who played it outside the box to Jude Onyekachi, who smashed it in to the top corner from distance to bring the 253 crowd to it's feet. Connor went wild, and he hugged a stranger like a long-lost best friend. At Half-time he told the players to keep it up to find the stranger had moved seats in the break. He was preparing subs when Doherty released Lee down the wing only to continue his run and tap the returned cross in, from 6 yards, the place erupted and the FA Cup dream continued. Connor missed it as he was too busy directing Poke with hand movements like he was raving.

Late in the game Hastings had a fantastic diving header chalked off for being off-side, but the home crowd celebrated the flag like a goal for their own team. Wild scenes greeted the final whistle, with Tony starting a pitch invasion. They were into the next round.

24.09.11 - League - Crawley Down (H) W 2-0 - Hancock(2)

27.09.11 - League - Hythe (A) W 2-0 - Lee(2)

01.10.11 - FA Trophy 1st Round - Prescot (H) W 2-0 - Doherty, Lee

05.10.11 - FA Cup 2nd Qual - Hastings Utd (H) W 2-1 - Onyekachi, Doherty

[Elrithral]

Slow down, dude. That's two weeks worth of updates posted in two days and I can tell you from experience that blitzing it like that sees you burn out way too quickly. Take your time and people will be more inclined to read it too.

[mistahc]

Deeper. Darker. Life slipping away. Fingers clawing at the nothingness. Hope was fading.

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The winning streak continued to weigh like a monkey on Connor's back. He gave the team Thursday as a rest day and light training on Friday night, already deciding to forfeit the winning streak for fitness and play a second string team in the Saturday fixture away to Dulwich. They were 5 points clear and had yet more cup games going up. McCann in goal and Reay in defender were the only players to keep their places. McCoy returned to the staring line up and the rest of the team were squad players, three making their debuts.

His side did not muster a single shot on goal, and were out-played in a 0-0 draw. The only incident of note was Poke suffering a toe injury and being substituted. One of the fans remarked that if he knew the team weren't going to bother he wouldn't have either. Expecting a loss, a draw was not a bad result as they were now 6 points clear at the top, and still unbeaten.

Next up was the romance of the Alan Boon Cup, named in honour of the Staines Town chairman who passed away in 2011. There was a temptation to preserve the first choice players for the Saturdays FA Cup match, but he wanted to win a trophy for the fans, who were averaging in their hundreds now.

They were woefully under-priced again and 50-1 to win and although up against a team of the league above, capable of winning. His betting account had been shut down for winning too much, so he was now forced to put cash on in store or through various family members. He had to pay the bills somehow as he wasn't getting paid for his role and long since quit his day job. He promised himself he would donate the winnings to the Alan Boon Memorial fund if his side were to do the impossible.

They dominated the first half and Billericay were limited to no shots on goal in the first half. The game continued in the vein until Doherty took a knock, and Connor was in a dilemma. Leave him on carrying an injury or bring on a replacement? He sent McCoy on and rather play him in the hole he sent him to the left wing, and told Hancock to go right.

Tony looked at him as he shouted the instructions, then led the whole coaching staff in singing "He's got a Plan B don't you know, He's got a Plan B oh oh oh ohhh". He was still chuckling over it in the 73rd minute when Palmer at right-back took out one of the Ricay strikers in the box and there were strong appeals for a penalty turned down.

The young strikers/wingers linked up in the 86th minute to change the game, Hancock racing on a long ball and crossing it in behind Lee who was just about to show his frustration at the cross falling behind him when it fell to McCoy to bury. The unexpectedly low crowd of 93 went wild and again the chairman praised the managerial master-stroke. They dominated the game and should have won more comfortably with the 23 chances created, but could have been a different story had the penalty been given. Connor thanked his lucky bacon sandwiches, and was true to his word with the donation.

The games were coming thick and fast and he didn't have much time to think about it, but it was yet another home Cup game, this time against Oxford City. Liverpool vs Manchester Unjted was the early kick off in the Premiership so the team relaxed by eating Bacon pasta and watching a 5 goal thriller with Luis Suarez netting the winner. He would be in the limelight for the wrong reasons in the coming days, weeks and months for some comments made during the match to Evra.

Connor was unaware of this when he picked his team based on footballing abilities alone. It was the same team, which quickly roared ahead through a Doherty double, the second a 30 yarder, with Hancock adding a third before half-time. A tale of two penalties saw the game end up 4-1, Hancock scoring his 5th of the season. The draw for the 4th round FA Cup qualifier would see them travel to Blue Square Premier team Newport county, the Welsh side who Connor's idol John Aldridge once graced with his goal-scoring presence. Newport were languishing at 16th and in poor form, so he really fancied their chances even with a Cardiff striker on loan.

The run of results continued and the team had now won 16 and drawn 2 since their 7-0 annihilation by Brighton. Connor wanted to rest some players so he didn't expect it to continue but didn't fear losing like he once did. He took the opportunity to see if any decent players were interested as he was now convinced the could be promoted this year. Also, his plan of bringing in just a few marquee players had back-fired with the high number of games he hadn't considered. Once again the trusty free transfer list was referred to and cover signed in Colin Cassidy (23 GK Irish), Fergus Carroll (34 DLC Australian/Irish), Shane O'Brien (23 MC Irish), Mick Mooney (22 MC/AMC/ST), Jason Drysdale (40 DC English). All of the Irish players were living in a big shared house to reduce costs, and the setting for some wild parties.

All 6 new signings made their debut in the league game at home against Faversham, with Lee and Hancock upfront with Doherty supporting. Hancock drew a professional foul from a defender to get the free-kick and to see the Sorters reduced to 10 men. Free-kick specialist (?) Reay curled a 46th minute opener, with Lee adding a late second and then being fouled for an even later penalty Hancock smashed home to seal the points against 9 men.

The last signing to complete was Daniel Wilkinson, an English 20 year old DRC, who went on record to the press to say that it had long since been his dream to play in the same team as Michael Reay and he hoped he could learn a lot from his idol. Which probably surprised the Captain who had only played 15 games of football at a recognized level in his career.

With the larger squad Connor felt more able to rotate which would help the seemingly endless two games a week. Next up on the Wednesday was Bognor Regis away, who were second in the league and 5 points behind. They were the league's top scorers with their first choice strike pairing on 17 for the season, two less than the free-scoring David Lee.

Other than Piper's injury it was a full fit squad to choose from, but with the trip to Everhsam at the weekend in the FA Trophy. Connor weighed his options, promotion or Cup glory? Winning the Cup was unlikely even with his limitless imagination, but lucky draws (or should that be drawers) could see them get their first silverware. Eversham were bottom of the Evo-Stik Premier, so technical Bognor was the more difficult game.

He gave Wilkinson a dream debut alongside his hero Reay, and pushed Doherty up front with Lee, and they recorded a comfortable 2-0 with O'Brien getting his first goal, and Doherty rounding the game off.

Saturday came as a flash, and the whole first team squad made the 166 mile journey to Worcestershire. Connor ran through his team selection. Reay wasn't fit, but wanted to come anyway to support the team. Tony was snoring next to him and woke with a jolt as a car beeped it's horn as it over-took with scarves waving and a massive inflatable pig on the back seat.

"What is it with those pigs? Is it a dig about me putting on weight?" he said to no-one in particular.

Connor chuckled to himself and felt like explaining, but thought he'd hold on for a bit longer. He genuinely didn't feel like it was as important any more but he still kept the routine. He stopped putting bacon extract in Lee's drink though, which had coincided with his bleak spell in front of goal but he was worried about his health and salt-levels.

He thought about how far the club had come in the short space of time, they had all cut down on the drinking since the chairman blasted Connor for his behaviour in the Hastings game and had a more professional attitude. Before games scout Jason would give the team a breakdown of the opposition, who their danger man was, and what formation he expected them to play. They were now an organised and professional outfit. Even Tony was starting to act more like a Chairman than a fan and stopped being a bad influence.

Connor noticed the change in himself too, he no longer felt like he was masquerading as a manager, like an imposter or a fan who had won a competition. He no longer thought it was all luck and appreciated that he still bought the players, picked the squad and the formation, and motivated and encouraged his players to perform week in and week out. The team were once again 50-1 to win and now the team and staff all chipped a pound in each to bet on themselves to win.

Wilkinson replaced Reay and Hancock returned up front, and they took a respectable 0-0 into half-time. Connor motivated and encouraged his men and Harry Rubbins scored to rub it in the opposition faces. Doherty put them 2-0 up on the hour mark and they never looked like losing. Crucially there were no injuries ready for the trip to Wales on Wednesday, a mere 70 miles away. They considered staying up there rather than have to drive home and back, but as the players mostly had work it wasn't an option. Later, Connor would wish they did.

08.10.11 - League - Dulwich Hamlet (A) D 0-0

11.10.11 - Alan Boon Cup 2nd Round - Billericay (H) W 1-0 - McCoy

15.10.11 - FA Cup 3rd qual - Oxford City (H) W 4-1 - Doherty(2), Hancock(2)

19.10.11 - League - Faversham (H) W 3-0 - Reay, Lee, Hancock

26.10.11 - League - Bognor Regis (A) W 2-0 - O'Brien, Doherty

29.10.11 - FA Trophy 2nd qual - Evesham (A) W 2-0 - Rubbins, Doherty

[mistahc]

Newport were the biggest club they had faced to date in competitive football, and a place in the 1st Round proper was at stake. The FA Trophy kept pushing the FA Cup games back until Midweek, and although they gave the players Sunday's off, they all gathered to watch the draw. The players rattled off teams they wanted to play, either of the Sheffield Clubs seemed popular. Connor just wanted a side they could beat, he dreamed of a Premiership big boy at Withdean and was there the day Brighton knocked Manchester City out of the League Cup when they were just taken over by billionaires. They were 5th out of the hat, which meant a home draw. They got League 2 Port Vale, currently 23rd. The reaction was strangely subdued at the announcement, and Connor hoped it was just because they had the trip to Wales first.

The drive from Brighton to Newport was meant to take over 3 hours. To get there with time to spare they had to leave no later than 4pm. At 4:15 the coach was still in the carpark, the problem with being semi-pro is people had day jobs. The club had teachers, students, supermarket workers, call-centre workers, office workers, a fire-man, and a postman. Reece Palmer ran his own advertising business which was on the verge of collapsing, and an important meeting with some vital clients was over-running so in the end they had to leave without him. Connor understood. While FA Cup infamy may get him named as an answer in a quiz or a few seconds on the ESPN ad break, his business played his bills. This did mean 40 year old Drysdale had to start in defence against a youthful Nathanial Jarvis, who was on-loan from Cardiff. Due to fitness Lyskov had to be replaced by 34 year old Carroll, which raised the average age and lowered the pace of the back four.

The game was surprisingly even and Onyekachi had to replace an injured O'Brien who had settled in the side well and the sides went into half-time goal-less. Connor couldn't really see what happened but he heard the crowds angry reaction to a penalty given for his side. Lee coolly slotted it home. Once again fortune favoured the lucky manager as Carroll put in a man of the man performance and Drysdale had Jarvis in his pocket so much that he was sent off for persistent fouling. The journey back didn't feel as long, and the coach could have floated back on elation alone. The only negative was O'Brien's injury would keep him out for 6 weeks. Port Vale awaited, and they hadn't won in 6 games. Connor was quite optimistic they could add to the scalp, and once more the draw would precede the match.

A late, late Murray goal beat Folkestone away, and a second-string side with the returning Piper and a strike-force of McCoy and Hancock beat a dejected Maidstone 2-0, both from Rubbins who showed what he can do if Reay let him take the free-kicks. He scored again to dispatch Hampton and Richmond in the FA Trophy. It was 7 clean sheets in a row, and 2 conceded in the last 15 games. Momentum and morale were kings.

The club then had the results of two more cup draws. Lincoln (3rd in Blue Sq Prem) at home in the First Round of the FA Trophy, and Macclesfield (L2) or Notts County (L1) in the 2nd round of the FA Cup.

More cup action saw Ramsgate dispatched in the Alan Boon Cup, with Poke and Mooney scoring from centre midfield. And the second-string laboured over a 2-1 win over Whyteleafe, with McCoy opening the scoring in the 5th minute and Drysdale headed in a 93rd minute corner 2 days after his 41st birthday.

900 fans were expected for the 1st Round FA Cup game against Port Vale, with a home tie against League 2 Macclesfield awaiting the winner. The last time the Vale had played at the Withdean, Connor had seen them beat Brighton 3-2. Marc Richards scored twice that day and he would be the danger man again.They were on a poor run and without a win for 2 months, and sat in 22nd place of league 2, even so they had players capable of tearing the non-league team apart. Preston Park Celtic were the lowest placed team left in the competition, and while on good form on paper were not a match for their opponents. But the game was not played on paper, it was on grass.

Preston Park Celtic started the game strongly, and there were limited chances in a goal-less first half. Right after the re-start Hancock won a free kick near the corner flag. Hummel sent an inch perfect cross for an unmarked Murray to head in. Port Vale fought back but a few minutes later Doherty released Lyskov who scampered down the left wing and with everyone expecting a cross, laid it back to Mooney who had all the time and space in the world to fire in a second. Port Vale capitulated and Lee was brought down for a penalty that Hancock smashed into the post. The miss still didn't galvanise the Vale, and poor defending allowed Doherty to get a third, and then cross a free-kick to an unmarked Murray to get his second, and the Super Hoops's forth. 4-0 to the minnows, and an absolutely incredible result in front of a record breaking 897 crowd. As an added bonus, the next round was moved to the Sunday for live TV coverage.

They couldn't afford to rest up with an FA Trophy game versus Lincoln a few days later, but again showed incredible guile to go 3-0 up with Rubbins, Doherty and Lee scoring. Lincoln scored two late goals but Connor was delighted to see his side hold on to get Luton at home in the Second Round.

In their monthly meetings the coach room staff recommended a young Jordanian midfielder named Jassim Alali, and to cover Mooney's injury from the last game, a contract offer was made. He didn't sign in time to join the second-string play Merstham in the mid-week league game, where a dull 0-0 was played out.

02.11.11 - FA Cup 4th qual - Newport Co (A) - W 1-0 - Lee

05.11.11 - League - Folkestone (A) W 1-0 - Murray

09.11.11 - League - Maidstone (H) W 2-0 - Rubbins(2)

12.11.11 - FA Trophy 3rd Qual - Hampton & Richmond (H) W 1-0 - Rubbins

16.11.11 - Alan Boon Cup 3rd Rnd - Ramsgate (H) W 2-0 - Poke, Mooney

19.11.11 - League - Whyteleafe (H) W 2-1 - McCoy, Drysdale

23.11.11 - FA Cup 1st rnd - Port Vale (H) W 4-0 -Murray(2), Mooney, Doherty

26.11.11 - FAT 1st Rnd - Lincoln (H) W 3-2 - Rubbins, Doherty, Lee

30.11.11 - League - Merstham (A) - D 0-0

[mistahc]

For the first time this season they had no game on the Saturday as they faced Macclesfield live on TV the day after, and so the players had the day off. Gus Poyet offered the team VIP tickets for the Brighton vs Leeds game, so the majority of the players went along to see Craig Mackail-Smith score the only goal in the home win. It was a great football day with the team able to watch the Premiership games at the ground, Manchester United beat Norwich 6-1 in the early game, and Chelsea beat Bolton in the late kick off. It was testament to the players that not one touched a drop of alcohol on the eve of their greatest challenge. He told them all to get a good night sleep and to report for light training at 11, then lunch over the Merseyside Derby.

He didn't slept at all, his stomach was in knots and he couldn't help but look at the stats available. He was now a manager confident in his own abilities, over-confident maybe. He had faith in his team, but didn't know what to do. He almost preferred it when the team picked it's self. He could either play Hancock or Doherty upfront. O'Brien was back from injury, so was Piper who was getting kept out of the side by Lyskov. He could give a debut to Alali, or play Poke. He could go with pacey youth or experienced central defence. He could play Reay or Wilkinson. It was too much. Every time he told himself to sleep he closed his eyes and laid their silently, until he had to again change his first 11 on the notepad. He changed it 5 or 6 times, studying the oppositions league standing and squad strengths. He finally feel asleep at 6am, with a team of McCann, Reay, Carroll, Murray, Lyskov, Hummell, Alali, O'Brien, Rubbins, Doherty and Lee.

He woke to a text and read it confused it if was a dream or reality, "Good luck today, will be watching on the television. Gus". As he cursed himself for organising light training as he would have loved to stay in bed, he wondered if the text was meant for him or the Uruguayan Luis Suarez. Maybe they both got the same text to save time? He had his bacon sandwich and pulled out the lucky pants, and headed to training. He was relieved to arrive and see the team relaxed and energetic, and he seemed to be the only one who had lost sleep. Even Tony looked a bundle of happiness and energy.

The ITV crew filmed as he put the team through their paces himself as he didn't want any exhaustion. While the squad played out a game of cross-bar challenge for Soccer AM, Connor and Tony did an interview and discussed the development of the club, and their amazing cup run. Connor cringed as his Chairman called him the best manager in the country currently, and a tactical genius.

When he could he nipped to the canteen to ensure the Bacon Pasta was ready to go. He then called them in for the line-up, and changed his changed his mind at the last moment to put Hancock in for Alali. He realised he wasn't ready yet, and that he just put him in the team to fit his dreamed headline of "Alali delivers knock-out blow". He could see the disappointment in some of the players faces when they had lunch but it went as they bonded watching Liverpool and Everton draw in the Premiership. He used that game for his pre-match speech which the TV crew filmed too.

"Win this and you could play one of them next round. WE could be going to Anfield, Goodison, Old Trafford, the Emirates, Stamford Bridge. It will be a dream come true and the greatest day of our footballing lives. This time last year we were nothing, today we have the chance to become hero's! We're in good form so keep it up, and get out there and win".

They came out onto the pitch and were amazed at the colour and noise from the crowd. It was definitely more home fans than the Vale game, who had a large away following inflating the over-all attendance. The drizzle today had not put the fans off, and Tony hoped it would attract some Brighton fans who had spare time to watch some football. The players had a huddle and Lee let out an accidental burp, which prompted accusations of someone eating Frazzles. Reay gee'd them up and shouted words of encouragement like "c'mon lads", "our friends and family will be watching, let's not look like numpties" and "we can do this". And they did.

In the 39th minute Reay hit a long ball down the right that Doherty ran on to, and cutting inside and heading towards a shooting opportunity. With everyone expecting the attempt he played it sideways to Lee who had a simple finish from distance with the keeper in no-man's land.

In the 56th minute Lee took a rough tackle so was in the process of being taken off for a precaution and the number on the board, Hummel hit a corner in the mixer and O'Brien headed it goal-wards for Murray to re-direct it in. 2-0 to the semi-pro's. They pulled one back through Byrne, who Connnor felt should have been sent off earlier, and McCann saved the day with a brilliant one-handed save.

The whistle was greeted with elated cheers and a sense of disbelief. In front of the TV camera's and the watching world, tiny Preston Park Celtic had reached the 3rd round at the expense of League 2 Macclesfield.

Connor attended the Press conference with Tony and David Lee, the latter confirming he was out for 3-4 weeks. Connor couldn't hide his disappointment that he had lost his star striker and Lyskov for a month each and was caught off guard when asked about who he thought would win World Footballer of the Year, and joking it wouldn't be Lee now he was injured and settling on Villa in the absence of Messi on the list.

They did the 3rd round draw live from the ground, focusing on the player and staff reaction to who they got. Each person who asked who they wanted, Connor dreaming aloud of a top 4 club away, the Chairman joking Brighton away as it would save on travel costs. They weren't the only non-league team in the draw, Solihull Motors (BSN), Luton (BSP), Gateshead (BSP), Cambridge (BSP), Barrow(BSP) were all representing non-league football.

Unbelievably they drew Solihull motors away, the two lowest clubs in the draw. It was an anti-climax, it was unlikely to get picked for TV and it was 176 miles away. The players sat in stone-cold silence, with the chairman audibly swearing on live TV at the distance to travel. Connor broke the silence as a microphone was shoved in his face looking for a reaction and he played the humble angle.

"Obviously it's not the big away game we wanted, but Solihull are a good side. With respect to them it's a winnable game for us and we are just delighted to be in the third round really. The draw has been made and we can't focus on the 4th round possibilities until we have earnt our place in the hat. The tie is a month away which gives our key players David Lee and Lyskov a chance to be fit"

Off camera Tony told Connor after how hard they fought to get this far, he would be devastated to get knocked out to a non-league side.

04.12.11 - FA Cup 2nd Rnd - Macclesfield (H) W 2-1 - Lee, Murray

[Jibby123]

"I'm getting too old for this"

"eh?.... oh for fff......" replied Connor, who was crucially distracted as the corner came in, glided the ball off the side of his head and into the corner of his own net. He slumped to his knees as the jubilant opposition celebrated around him, one gracelessly rubbing his hair and calling him what he hoped was a reference to his day job at the bank. He looked at the ground and wished it would swallow him up, it was muddy and stud-marked and he painfully saw the resemblance with his own thinning head. The rain drizzled down and he looked to the Heavens and felt the drops on his face join his wet, salty eyes and red face. Nearly 30 years playing football and he still hated to lose, and they were on the wrong end of a 4-0 hammering. He could hear the small crowd jeering and complaining about the quality of the football on display and one old boy was telling his Labrador about how Sunday League football was so much better back in his day.

"What was that Tony?" He asked, unable to hide the fact he clearly blamed his defensive partner for the error.

"This. Had enough of it. The lad with the stupid haircut was pulling at my shirt and pinching me AGAIN, and if I make any contact he goes down like a bag of spuds rolling on the floor like I've assaulted him or broken him in half. I've had enough of this, it's a young man's game and I'm an old man amongst boys."

Sounds very very like how I felt when I bought the curtain down on my own sunday pub league...umm....'career'!!

Top start mistahc, loving the descriptions and lines in bold especially.

[BobBev]

mistahc - have to say that this is a really enjoyable read with some very nice touches of humour that had me chuckling out loud.

[mistahc]

In Alan Boon Cup action, Carroll lasted 4 minutes covering at left-back and was out for 2 months. Without someone who could play that position on the bench the team played a 3-2-3-1-2 formation and Rubbins long distance shot won the game to stretch to 30 games unbeaten.

The club now had 7 league games in a row before the FA Cup game, 4 at home then 3 away, with two a week, with just Piper at left-back available. Connor accepted the unbeaten run would probably end but the reality is he wanted the games out of the way with rotation and no more injuries.

To provide cover more free transfers were signed on non-contracts, Trevor Benjamin (32 SC who once commanded a million pound transfer fee), Andreas Zola (20 DL), and Ishamael Lammy (19 SC).

In the end they won the first 6 before the first drew 1-1 against 2nd placed Ramsgate.

There were two incidents of note. In one of the games one of the oppositions said something to young striker Lammy of a racist nature which he reacted angrily too and later deeply upset him. In solidarity, Connor and Tony gave an interview condoning the remarks saying that the attitude was pre-historic and had no place in football. They went on to say that all their players were united and wanted to wear Kick Racism out shirts at the FA Cup match.

In the other incident, Mick Mooney was in his come back from injury to only get carried off with the same injury, a gashed leg and was again out for 3-4 weeks which seemed a long time for the type. Connor called his Physio in for a chat about his qualifications and was surprised to see he had none of note, only a first aid course and an open university course. It did make perfect sense, and on deciding that another might do a better job at preventing injuries and perhaps sticking a plaster on instead of telling them to rest for a month. So he sacked and replaced him with someone who had recognised qualifications.

The team made the long journey to Birmingham to play Solihull away in the FA Cup. To pass the 3 hour drive Connor and Tony officially assigned nicknames to much hilarity and to raise moral. Suggestions were made and votes were cast and the following given, although some were particularly uninspired:

Tony Gloom - Fat Tony (from the Simpsons)

Connor - Con Air (after the film and referencing his thinning hair)

David Lee - Gypsy (inspired by his love of tea, and the cockney rhyming slang, Gypsy Lea)

Michael Reay - Reay of sunshine (as he was always smiling)

Stewart Doherty - Homer (Doherty shortened to D'oh)

Colin Murray - ruby (inspired by his love of Curry's and the cockney rhyming slang, Ruby Murry)

Harry Rubbins - rub

McCann - Macca

Erik Hummel - Hummer (as he was solid like a Humvee)

Tomas Lyskov - TomTom

Shane O'Brien - Triggar (after the Only Fools and Horses character)

Daniel Wilkinson - Wilko

Mick Mooney - Moon

As promised all the players stood firm against Racism, and an obviously fired up Lammy scored both goals in 2-0 away FA Cup in an easy victory.

At the training ground on Sunday all the team gathered in eagerness for the draw, once again the TV station had a crew down to see the player’s reaction. The draw went at speed until Gillingham or Gateshead (of the BSP) were drawn, leaving just Preston Park Celtic, Liverpool, Man U, QPR, Sunderland, (of the Premiership) and West Ham, Southampton (of the championship). Tony and Connor looked at each other, both thinking “surely not again”. Breathes were held and this next ball was drawn to see who would potentially play the non-league team, and Liverpool’s ball was drawn.

They were next to be drawn out of the hat, meaning a home tie. At the first sight of the number someone began screaming for joy. A split second later everyone was up on their feet jumping around as it was confirmed they would play the most successful team in FA Cup history, Manchester United. In the absence of Connor who was under a bundle of players, the TV station tried to get Tony’s reaction but the celebrations drowned out his comments. Which was lucky as he was so happy he swore but the viewers got the idea they were delighted.

07.12.11 - Alan Boon Cup 4th Rnd - Horsham (H) W 1-0 - Rubbins

10.12.11 - League - Eastbourne Town (H) W 2-0 - Caton, Munday

14.12.11 - League - Walton & Hersham (H) W 4-2 - O.G, Benjamin, Alali, Lammy

17.12.11 - League - Worthing (H) W 2-0 - McCoy, Murray

21.12.11 - League - Sittingbourne (H) W 3-0 -Mooney, Murray, Benjamin

26.12.11 - League - Burgess Hill (A) W 1-0 - O'Brien

29.12.11 - League - Corinthian-Casuals (A) W 1-0 - Murray

02.01.12 - League - Ramsgate (A) D 1-1 -Lee

07.01.12 - FA Cup 3rd Rnd - Solihull Moors (A) W 2-0 - Lammy(2)

[mistahc]

mistahc - have to say that this is a really enjoyable read with some very nice touches of humour that had me chuckling out loud.

Sounds very very like how I felt when I bought the curtain down on my own sunday pub league...umm....'career'!!

Top start mistahc, loving the descriptions and lines in bold especially.

Thanks very much, it means a lot.

[mistahc]

The next games were a blur in anticipation of the greatest game of any of their lives to date. They won in the league 2-0 away, but Connor could tell you nothing about it as his mind was clearly elsewhere. It was a good job the players were focused on impressing to keep their place.

They dispatched Luton in FA Trophy, winning 1-0 with Mooney scoring in his return from injury. He was now above Doherty in the pecking order in the role behind the strikers. They got yet another home draw in the next round, with Wrexham the next visitors to Withdean.

Next up was the Alan Boon Cup with Lowesoft away. The town being most famous for the birthplace of the band The Darkness. Goals from Benjamin, Wilkinson and Lee continued the great form and gave a 3-0 win and a place in the Semi-Finals versus Bury Town. Connor and Tony felt very positive that this cup was a real chance for their first Silverware. In reality, regardless of other avenues, winning the league and this cup would be a brilliant result for them.

The big derby game versus their bitter rivals Whitehawk brought everything back into focus for the club. With the newer club seen as wannabe's by their older neighbours, their success was obviously cause animosity. It was expected to be heated and passionate, but in reality was a dull game. Mick Mooney scored twice to secure the points and a 2-0 win, with 41 Jason Drysdale falling awkwardly after winning a header and dislocating his shoulder. In the first 10 years of his career he had experience of playing in the Championship and warming the bench in the Premiership, so his loss for the FA Cup was a big blow.

On the Sunday, Connor, Tony and scout Jason watched Sky's Super Sunday to see Man City come from behind to inflict the 10th loss of the season for Manchester United. They were beatable, and they knew it. Top scorer Rooney was out injured and they were 8th in the league. While watching they heard that the Man U game had been moved to 12:30 on the Saturday and once again they would be on TV, in just under a week away.

To protect the first team, the Second-string team were played against Whitstable in mid-week, but maintained the form and won 1-0.

Prior to the FA Cup game with the blessing of his manager, the Super Hoops Captain Michael Reay contacted his counterpart Rio Ferdinand to arrange a Kick it Out show of support at the game. While Brighton born and bred, Michael's parents were from Nigeria and with McCoy, Lammy, Benjamin, Onyekachi, Davies, Alali, and Bramall, represented the ethnic diversity within the first team squad.

In Thursdays training Connor was surprised and impressed with the turn out and attitude of the players. Clearly they all wanted to get time playing against their idols, and he tried not to think about letting people down by not choosing them. He steeled himself for the disappoint in the knowledge he would always play the best team available. Anything less would be insult and unfair to the other players on the pitch. He had no trouble sleeping this time, as he didn't expect a result. They were going to get hammered, but he was determined they would enjoy every minute of it.

11.01.12 - League - Walton Casuals (A) W 2-0 - O'Brien, Hummel

14.01.12 - FAT 2nd Rnd - Luton (H) W 1-0 - Mooney

17.01.12 - Alan Boon Cup QF - Lowesoft (A) W 3-0 - Benjamin, Wilkinson, Lee

21.01.12 - League - Whitehawk (H) W 2-0 - Mooney(2)

25.01.12 - League - Whitstable (H) W 1-0 - McCoy

[mistahc]

His heart was beating so hard he feared it would be a heart-attack that killed him and not drowning. The harder he kicked, the more the grip on his legs tightened. What was this monster in the darkness that was so intent on pulling him down? The panic consumed him and willed him to struggle for his life, which was ebbing away with the tides

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Match Day - Saturday 28th January 2012. FA Cup forth round vs Manchester United of the Premiership, one of the most successful club sides in the world, managed by one of the top managers.

Tony vs The Glaziers - One with a personal fortune in the 5 digits who still hadn't told his wife of the small lottery win, the other a wealthy family from the states.

Connor vs Alex Ferguson - One a tactical novice, the other as experienced as they come.

Murray vs Berbatov - One who had never played at the top level in Ireland, the other who had scored bucket loads at the top level in Germany and England.

Withdean could currently hold a maximum of 2350, and there was a clamber for tickets. A sell-out was expected, 150 Sussex-based Preston Park Celtic fans, and 2200 Surrey-Based Man United fans.

It wasn't the only David vs Golaith story, as Gateshead were also entertaining Premiership Liverpool later in the afternoon.

Connor's day started with a knock at the door, the TV station literally wanted to follow his every move in the run up to kick-off. They filmed him at his flat in his club tracksuit and going through his normal routine, and commented on the unusual smell of the place. The game was early so there was no youth game to watch, so he went to the ground at 9am. He was astounded by how busy it was, most of the players were there, anxious to see if they were in the starting line-up. The TV vans of various stations were filling the car park and he could see Chris Kamara talking to the Chairman waving at him. The TV crew filmed him taking the players through some light jogging and passing and Reay was interviewed on his growing work on anti-racism. The main stories centred around how quickly the club had progressed in their short existence, and bizarrely of the the fact that Man U had never played at the Withdean while Brighton and Hove Albion were playing there, but Man City and FC United had. They showed footage of Man U beating Brighton in the 1983 Cup Final, and a piece on what could have happened if Smith had scored a chance that could and should have won the underdogs the cup, and perhaps changed their history.

The crowd started to fill up and were now much more vocal. As they gathered for an interview, inflatable pigs were being bounced around like beach balls. To call it a carnival atmosphere didn't give it justice. The TV crew set up those they wanted to interview and there was Connor, Captain Michael Reay and star striker David Lee in front of multiple camera's as the questions began.

"So Connor, we have breaking team news from the Manchester United camp. They are starting with Lindegaard in goal, Reece Brown, Michele Fornasier, Chris Smalling, Fabio at the back, Antonio Valencia, Phil Jones, Anderson, Park Ji-Sung in midfield, and Petrucci and Byrne upfront. Do you think that team is a bit disrespectful to you by playing a reserve team squad?"

Connor cleared his throat and answered diplomatically "Not at all, even their reserves are great players and there is a lot of international experience there. We will do what we always do and try to play our game and kept it tight. We will be playing to win as we don't know how to do anything else."

"Indeed" said the journalist "you are on an amazing run and unbeaten this season which is some feat. You have already played 8 games in this competition, beating Barrow, local rivals Whitehawk, Hastings, Oxford, Newport, Port Vale, Maccelsfield and fellow minnows Solihull Motors in the 3rd round. What price on beating the biggest club in England today?"

"Well we hope at least to make it tough for them, games at stadiums like this can be alien to players as the crowd can be quite close. It is our Cup Final and when we raise our game we can be a match for anyone."

"Excellent. A quick question for you Michael. I understand Rio Ferdinand hasn't made the trip today and you wanted to ensure both teams showed a support of the Kick it Out campaign. I can see all your players are wearing the t-shirt in training, and I hear you have been speaking to Chris Smalling in his absence as he is Captaining the side. Are we going to see anything before Kick-Off"

Michael stepped forward "As a policeman I take all crime seriously, so I am a strong supporter of this campaign. I am disappointed Rio couldn't be here, but Chris is a smashing lad and agreed that we will all wear the T-Shirts in the line-up and have some photo's taken. I'd like to thank Chris, Rio and Manchester United football club for making this happen. I would also like to thank my manager and Chairman for their full support."

"Good stuff, glad to see clubs taking action and I hope young Lammy realises the support for us normal football fans. Now Connor I have a special guest for you and beckoned a fan over with a pig on a lead. "tell us, why do you have a pig at a football match and what is his name?"

"Hi Mum, look I'm on the telly!!" the fan said excitedly to the wrath of the angry journalist who silenced him quickly.

"Connor the Manager, I'd like to introduce you to Connor the pig, named in your honour. We understand you have a superstition of always eating a bacon sandwich each match day. The canteen staff have even said you have sneaked bacon into the players food. Is this right?"

Connor was embarrassed, very embarrassed. But as on the spot told the whole story enigmatically. "Well yes, on the opening day of the season I had a Bacon Sandwich, and it continued from there. David here is a victim of mine, I once put Bacon extract in his water and he scored a hat-trick, and this happened each time I did it. It stopped working after a while, so I gave up. Some of the fans found out about it, which explains the pigs, and that fan did promise me if we made the 3rd round he'd bring a pig, I'd forgot all about it. That's quite funny as I now have a dog and a pig named after. What's next a statue outside the ground or a stadium? It's just a silly superstition really."

"ha ha yes, sounds it, right David, 6 goals in the FA cup already, 26 for the season. Confident of more today? No Vidic, no Ferdinand? Must be relieved?"

David mumbled a token response "At the end of the day like, you have to get out there and do your job. Sometimes you score like, other times you set up someone else like. At the end of the day it's football."

The journalist wrapped up for the audience and the manager took his players off to join the others for squad announcements, and all three were buoyed by the weakened team, but disappointed not to be up against the first choice. Before they got in the changing room Lee pulled his manager aside.

"Boss, errrmmm, uummmm, any chance of some Bacon-water, I haven't be on form for ages and only scored 2 goals in the last 2 months." Connor happily obliged.

The teams lined up for the anti-racism photoshoot, and minutes before the kick-off Michael took his place on the bench shooting his manager a dirty look for denying him the opportunity to play in the biggest day in his career. Connor went for the following team - McCann, Wilkinson, Murray, Carroll, Lyskov, Hummel, O'Brien, Rubbins, Mooney, Lee and Benjamin.

The whistle blew and to loud cheers from the crowd the game kicked off, with chants starting up immediately and the half and half scarves were being twirled high in the air. Tony and Connor sat in the dug out wearing matching club coats and woolly hats, sharing a smile that said more than words ever could. They were proud, nervous, and strangely optimistic. They would live and breath every moment of the day, savouring the smell of the grass, the sounds of the tackles and of the players on the pitch, and swelled with pride as the crowd sang songs about them. Both of them had exactly the same desire to be on the pitch in this big game, but were proud to even be involved. The official attendance was a maximum and record 2350. The truth was it was double that, with people watching from where they could. The tree's outside the ground were full and the fans looked like Christmas tree decorations as they sat evenly on the branches to steal a view point.

In the 13th minute the unbelievable happened. Wilkinson played the ball to Lee outside the box, he passed back to Rubbins, who lofted an inch perfect ball into the box, Benjamin headed the ball down for Lee to smash it. The place went wild, high-pitched screams were coming out of grown men who just were going crazy and shrieking. Lee ran to the bench and jumped into his manager's arms, his Frazzle-breath evident as he roared with joy to his manager. Everyone else jumped on too and Connor felt like the whole ground was on top of them.

Non-football fans will not understand the complete elation when your team scores, it's simultaneous and the nought to jubilation in a millisecond cannot be replicated. Premiership fans will not understand how it feels when your team are bunch of nobodies score against a massive team, and they certainly can not understand how it feels to take the lead, creating ecstasy and hope of pulling of an improbable victory. Tiny Preston Park Celtic were 1-0 up. Wilkinson was then injured and Connor sent a delighted Michael Reay on in his place, his smile visible from space. Lee's goal was the difference at the interval, and the impossible was suddenly two letters too long.

Connor was about to start his speech when the sound of Fergie's hair-dryer came from the visitors changing room. Not an actual hair-dryer, Ferguson is not vain, it's what is known as a Sir Alex rant. And it was, threats of loan moves to Siberia, never playing for the first team again, and unless he was mistaken the sound of a teacup being smashed. He asked Tony genuinely if they should send him the bill, and the players laughed. It was so surreal, while one set of players were getting fired up the home players were laughing about being 1-0 up against a top team. Well the reserves but it all counts in the History books.

Within 5 minutes Sam Byrne had equalised and Connor feared the worst. But incredibly against the run of play they took the lead for the second time, again Rubbins was involved. Fornasier took down Lee outside the box, and the dead-ball specialist lined up the free-kick. With everyone expecting a shot from that range, even the manger, he chipped it in for Lee to head home. Again the place went wild and Tony shouted something about a great training ground move.

This time the players didn't celebrate as much as they were under the cosh and they knew it. Manchester United had a few more good chances and McCann performed heroics in goal, until Jones headed in an 84th minute corner. Connor prayed they would hold on. He looked at the clock, in less than 10 minutes they could get a famous draw to take the game to a replay at Old Trafford.

Could they keep the score the same and get a replay? No, no they couldn't.

After their goal Fergie made a substitution bringing on Veseli for Anderson. Not long after the restart Lee was brought down near the centre circle and Rubbins faced the whole opposition in their own half, so played it short to Carroll, who played a return ball. Connor was on his feet and tried to signal for them to slow it down, to play for the draw by keeping the ball and pointed for the pass back to Lyskov.

The young left-back caught sight of the direction, and miss-took it for a command to make a run, and so he did with Rubbins playing a great ball for him to run on to but one that looked like bread and butter to a Premiership class right-back. Byrne saw the space cleared by the left-back and greedily exploited it.

Connor stood open mouthed as he waited for the pass to be intercepted and a long ball to win the game. He looked across to Fergie who also saw the opportunity to exploit the space and said cheekily, "we won't be needing Fergie time here sunshine".

In the post-match press conference the winning manager was asked he felt when the last minute goal went in to win the tie, to become only the fifth non-league club to beat top level opposition since 1945.

"Well, as soon as Lyskov beat the right-back to the ball and skinned him, then laid it back to the in-running Rubbins, my heart was in my mouth. When he buried it I was shocked to be honest, and it took a few seconds to acknowledge that it counted. For a club like us to beat a club like Manchester United is a fantastic and unbelievable achievement. I am truly pinching myself, and not even sure how it happened. I expected to lose, even after I heard the line-up, and Rooney and co would have absolutely destroyed us if they were on the pitch. I am speechless really. This is real isn't it? Am I going to wake up and this has all been a crazy dream?"

And it wasn't a dream. He joined his chairman and they agreed to break the no-drink rule to celebrate the greatest result in the club's history. So they got the players and strode in the local pub still full of celebrating fans and put the TV money behind the bar to complete the day they would never forget. Whatever happened in the future nothing would or could top this moment. It was the romance of the cup, the game of two halves, the ultimate giant killing. Connor had many texts messages congratulating him and the team, from Gus Poyet to Kenny Dalglish, the latter delighted to see his foe humbled and embarrassed.

Watching the match coverage the Gateshead manger made all his team eat Bacon sandwiches before their home match against Liverpool. They scored in the 88th minute to secure a 2-2 draw and a replay at Anfield.

28.01.12 - FA Cup 4th Rnd - Man Utd (H) W 3-2 - Lee(2), Rubbins

[mistahc]

Connor awoke with a hangover and had to do a reality check of the Sunday Newspaper, still in total disbelief of the result. On seeing the back page photo of himself and goal-scoring hero David Lee held aloft by the crowd he whooped with delight, instantly regretting it as his headed was pounding. He read the match report. "Preston Park Celtic had luck on their side" it read, and he knew there was far more luck than they would ever know. The Club was founded on luck of a lottery win, and continued with far more than they deserved already this season

Staying in bed he found the coverage of the match he had recorded to watch his moment of fame from a different perspective, as it was such a blur at the time. He would later get it burnt on DVD to re-live again and again. It was surreal, like it was not him giving the interviews or shouting on the touchline, or his team playing. The jubilant reaction as the final whistle gave him goose-bumps and made his hair stand up on the back of his neck, there was a huge cheer of unadulterated ecstasy and a full pitch invasion. If there were any Manchester United fans in the home end, they were now fully converted as not a soul was left in the stands as they swarmed the pitch like ants.

The camera lapped up the scenes, zooming in on Connor the Pig eating the grass on the side of the pitch, then panning to an old man dancing with his young grandson on his shoulders, both filled with complete joy. This was one man witnessing the greatest football triumph in his long footballing life, and the other cementing a love for football purely stemming from this moment with his beloved Grandad. It was irrelevant that neither of them were a fan of the club until now, for they had been won over like many a new fan that day all over the world, the opportunity to see the FA Cup magic boosted by the TV coverage. Those present knew that they had had witnessed a fantastic moment that would be replayed over and over again. This was football at its best, rediscovering the love of the game for a whole generation, and inspiring a new batch.

Many images that day would become iconic, including the fan that fell out the tree celebrating, got up unhurt and hugged the tree in the absence of anyone to celebrate with. In later years Connor would have prints of his favourite photographs depicting the day adorn his study taking pride next to the winner’s medals and other pictures of his managerial career. He had two favourite pictures, the first the celebration after the first goal, with a pile of players and staff on top of Lee and Connor,

The second he would always love. The image was of both Phil Jones (who would later have a brilliant England career) and Antonio Valencia sunk on their knees in despair, with heads on the hands looking to the sky. Between them David Lee and Harry Rubbins were hugging each other emanating pure happiness, and in the background the entire bench and staff were just starting their triumphant run on to the pitch in a near perfect line, faces distorted in joy and surprise. To complete the picture you could see an infuriated Sir Alex Ferguson kicking a water bottle, the photo perfectly capturing the spray of water in an arc.

Fergie would later describe the loss as the most embarrassing of his career. The club had earned the respect of the football world that day, but the adventure had only just begun for them.

The celebrations continued later that day as the squad gathered to watch the 2pm Sunday kick-off and watch the draw, and there must have been something in the water as League 1 Rochdale beat a youthful Arsenal 2-1. Perhaps the Bacon craze had reached further? Once again the camera's wanted to capture the team watching the draw, and caught the moment David Lee walked in like he was ten foot tall. Seconds later he was, as his team-mates hoisted him high in the air and cheered his arrival. The slayer of the Red Devil looked suitably embarrassed, and the quiet Dubliner grinned as he was presented with a commemorative picture of him celebrating in the aftermath with his daughter.

The TV station took the opportunity for more interviews on the feeling after things had sunk in, and Connor replied that he was still a bit sore after being bundled by the entire squad. He was just about to answer seriously when the players let up a massive cheer as they caught sight of Tony the chairman walking in with the new mascot on a lead. He introduced 'Francis Bacon' to the world and told a story of how he agreed with his manager that Connor the Pig would be the official new Mascot, but had to be renamed. Connor had no idea if it was the same pig or not, nor had any recollection of this, but played along regardless.

Only 12 of the 23 teams left in the draw were from the top level. 6 were in the Championship, 3 from League 1, and the two non-leaguers. At this point the players and staff just wanted a big team away, preferably Chelsea, Man City or Liverpool if they won their replays as all draw. The teams were drawn out one by one by a washed up footballer brought in to commentate on the earlier game.

"Charlton/Watford vs Sunderland"

"Bolton vs Stoke"

"Leicester vs Sheff Wed"

"Gateshead/Liverpool, will play......"

hushed silence..... the player rooted his hand around in the bag with a look like a simpleton playing with himself..... out it came....

"is that a 10? is that us? is tha....."

"Number 10, Preston Park Celtic. Great draw for the tiny conquerors of Manchester United there, what a shock that was".

Of course no-one in the room heard that as they were too busy celebrating. Lower league players will dream of playing of at least three stadiums, Wembley, Old Trafford, and Anfield. A team rich in History. After the draw the camera's cut to the replay of the happiness of the squad and again Connor was under the microscope.

"So Connor, before the draw Kenny Dalglish said you were the opponent he didn't want after yesterday's heroics. Liverpool currently sit in 10th place. Confident?"

"well they have to beat Gateshead first" he joked "no seriously I am delighted at that, it will be a day we'll never forget even if we get thumped. I just hope that Kenny shows us the respect we deserve and plays Suarez as he's a wonderful footballer, and it would be a privilege to watch him up close."

Of course every game from now was a distraction. In truth Connor was not expecting to get any further in the FA Cup, but he had been thinking that for about 7 rounds now. He was relishing the chance to play at a top class stadium, as the best ground they had played at belonged to Newport County. Still, there was the league and FA Trophy to go first.

Back to reality with a bump, mostly the same team played in light snow against Godalming in the league and were still under-priced by the bookmakers at 10-1 to win. That looked about right until Lee thumped in an 85th minute winner. Such was the expectation on them that the supporters felt that wasn't as good a result as it actually was.

Wrexham were the visitors in the FA Trophy 3rd Round, and Lee continued his return to goal-scoring form with both in a 2-0 win, and even missed a penalty. 297 watched the Blue Square side over 2000 less than the record attendance set last week. The game saw an ankle injury ruling Michael Reay out for 2 months, which ruled him out a trip to Anfield. He was distraught.

Connor watched the Liverpool vs Gateshead replay on Tony's big TV. He would have preferred to go up there and watch it live, but the chairman wouldn't fund it as getting the train was a rip-off unless you booked months in advance. Liverpool's reserve team won 4-3, with a hat-trick for 17 year old Raheem Sterling and for Gateshead's Jon Shaw. Sterling looked a great prospect, but the rest were pretty average and Gateshead could have snatched the win. That was a beatable team if they closed down Sterling. They would get to play at Anfield in 10 days time, and could not wait, with the game being moved to the Sunday for TV coverage.

Two league games were in the way first, the first choice team beat Crawley Down away 1-0, then the second string beat Bognor 3-1 at home to make it 41 games unbeaten. Next up was the visit to Anfield.

01.02.12 - League - Goldaming (A) W 1-0 - Lee

04.02.12 - FAT 3rd Rnd - Wrexham (H) W 2-0 - Lee(2)

11.02.12 - League - Crawley Down (A) W 1-0 - Rubbins

15.02.12 - League - Bognor Regis (H) W 3-1 - Lammy(2), Doherty

[mistahc]

His face tingled with the coldness of the water covering him. He lifted his hand to his eyes and made sure they were open, and it wasn't his eye-lids creating the darkness. He felt his finger on his eye-ball and he screamed internally, clenching his fists and jaw tight, fearing the water would penetrate his final defences if he even gave it a chance. The darkness still had a firm grip on his legs and he tried once more to get free. He tried to control the panic to make the last grains of sand hold on longer. It seemed like an eternity since he last breathed air and he wondered how much longer this perpetual hell would last

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The team arrived in Liverpool on the Saturday a day early to make the most of the experience. Tony was happy to pay for the hotel as the TV money more than paid for the Travelodge costs, especially as he made them go two to a room. Connor was invited to the press conference and was grinning ear to ear as Dalglish said he was a nice guy, and no doubt due to the recent embarrassment caused to his rival Sir Alex.

Connor had bonded with the Liverpool manager so wangled the team a free Stadium Tour. He would later cringe as they must have looked like amateurs and tourists and not a professional outfit. But of course that was exactly what they were, and this was a once in a life-time opportunity for all of the players. Kenny had let slip that the priority was improving their current 9th place in the league, and their next two games were against Arsenal and Manchester United. They would play the reserves, that was evident, and Connor knew they had a chance if they were focused and disciplined.

The night was quiet, although there were rumours some of the players and staff broke curfew to sample the nightlife. It was a 13:30 kick off so there was only light warms up the pitch before the game and it was evident some of the team were over-awed. As he put the team through their shooting practise he took an opportunity to step up himself and buried it in the top corner to cheers from the crowd. He lapped it up and did some mock celebrating in front of the 100 or so travelling fans. And loved every second. He would claim that as scoring at Anfield.

The players looked a bit nervous and few practise shots troubled the keeper, and as Lee hit a practise shot out of the stadium the announcer started to read the teams out.

"Welcome to Anfield for more FA Cup action. Please stand up for your heroes in red - In Goal, number 32 Doni. 22 Jordan Lussey. 34 Martin Kelly. 28 Jacob Sokolik, 35 Brad Smith, 14 Jordan Henderson, 21 Lucas Leiva, at 17 your captain for this afternoon Seydou Keita, 11 Mark Bresciano, 33 Kristjan Emilsson, 10 Emad Meteb. Now, please give your warm Anfield welcome to the opposition, the humblers of Man United, Preston Celtic".

Connor was unsure if the club name mistake was deliberate but there was no mistaking the loud "WHO!" from the crowd after each name was read out, McCann, Wilkinson, Murray, Carroll, Lyskov, Hummel, O'Brien, Rubbins, Mooney, Lee, Lammy, the latter kept in after his mid-week double at the expensive of Benjamin. And the team moved to the dressing room for final preparation, so their manager could give them some motivating words.

He gathered his troops and reminded them that team in front of them were mortals. There was actually only three players he'd consider first team in Kelly, Lucas and Henderson. This team was no better than Man U put out, and they could win this. He told them to forget it was at Anfield, forget it was the later rounds of the FA Cup, and to get out there and play the game. "You can do this", he finished off, and he actually believed it.

As the players went out both sides touched the 'This is Anfield' sign, and they jogged out onto the pitch. The 38,639 crowd cheering their heroes hit the inexperienced players hard, and Lee was physically sick to a few laughs from the crowd. As Connor went to take his seat the Kop started up a chant to honour him for his team's result against their bitter North-East rivals, bringing a lump to his throat.

When he turned away to compose himself he saw both sets of players clapping and it was only the thought of the TV camera's that drove him to hold the emotion in. It was a special moment for him, and Kenny jokingly bowed-down to him saying "King Connor has a good ring to it". Or it could have been that, it was hard to tell with the Glaswegian accent.

As the players took their positions the unmistakable intro to Gerry and the Pacemakers classic "You'll never walk alone" started up, a tradition since the early 60's when the PA would play the top 10 each week. The full crowd started singing along to support the home team, and you could visibly see some of the amateur's knees buckling, and breathing getting shallower. Connor's own chest tightened and every sense seemed to be tingling, the hairs on the back of his neck standing to attention, he had never felt anything like it as he absorbed the words of song and held his own head up high. It sounded like a million people were singing, and he tried to keep the hope in his heart. The crowd roared at the end of the song and it sounded like a jet taking off.

He breathed deep and looked up to the Directors box and saw Tony waving back standing next to Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher, he nudged the Liverpool legends and pointed, and they both grinned and gave the thumbs up. The sight of his friend calmed him, and he steeled himself for the battle. He relayed the confidence to the team and clapped his hands forcibly.

Lee and Lammy kicked the game off and the roar shook the windows of the houses that surround Anfield, it was passed back and around the defence until Lyskov got the ball. Lammy had his arm up indicating he wanted a pass and it was hoofed route one style. The inexperienced right-back Lussey let it bounce and the striker picked it up by the corner flag, played it back to Lyskov who crossed it in, hitting Rubbins on the back of the head as he cut inside.

The crowd laughed, but Lammy had cut inside and picked the loose ball up on the edge of the area and smashed it over the on-rushing defender and in off the bar. The crowd were stunned into silence, the players blinked in disbelief, Connor just stood there open-mouthed. It sunk it but there were still only mild celebrations as the players pinched themselves, and what sounded like one person in the crowd shouting "who are ya!"

At half-time they sat in the dressing room in silence, still 1-0 up. Then the grins started, and the enigmatic Lammy just burst out laughing which quickly spread. Connor tried to get some focus and told them to keep it up as they had done brilliantly.

In the 54th minute, Emilsson had a cross saved by McCann but reacted quickest to bury the rebound. It was 1-1 and plenty to play for.

In the 71st minute, Mooney dispossessed Regan and buried it past Doni in front of the Kop. This time there was a reaction, the away fans and players celebrating, the home fans clearly disgruntled and the fear of losing created a hostile atmosphere.

The clock hit 80 minutes and the score was still 1-2, and Connor's stomach was in knots as he dreamed of a famous victory. As he weighed up if this was a bigger scalp than United, the skillful Spaniard Suso jinxed his way down the left wing and crossed for Henderson to head home. The crowd volume went up about 4 notches as they willed the team to up their game to avoid a replay.

As he changed the day-dream to a famous draw and a replay at home, young Pelosi picked up the ball in the area and magically danced through the defence to slot home an 87th winner. The crowd celebrated it like a cup final win. The minnows could have won it, and everyone knew it. Connor was actually gutted, as he thought they deserved more.

Being a sore-loser he hadn't experienced this feeling all season until now, but he graciously shook his opposite numbers hand knowing fully he would rather had been destroyed by Liverpool's first team. If Suarez and Gerrard had torn them apart he wouldn't have been irked as they never would have been in the races. Could have been worse though, they could had lost to Andy Carroll's goals, who was still yet to justify his January big money move.

The remarkable and unexpected FA Cup run was over, and so was the unbeaten streak. But that didn't matter really as any one of them would have given their right arm for that kind of season. To call it a season of dreams was an understatement, a dream would have been to avoid relegation and win a few games. This was of miracle proportions, and if you weren't there you would never have believed it.

The team drove back in silence, all knowing they bottled it on the big stage. They may never get that opportunity again, and were distracted by the big occasion and crowd. As they passed Pease Pottage and into the City of Brighton limits, a car of fans drove past and beeped their horn in celebration, fists pumping, and the pride evident. That kicked them out of their slump, and Connor stood up and picked up the coach microphone.

"Every one of you has no reason to feel you have failed. I wouldn't trade anyone of you for anybody else on that pitch today. Take a look at yourselves and the people next to you. A couple of weeks ago it was us scoring the last minute goal against Manchester United. 3 Champions League trophies, 19 top League wins, 11 FA Cups, 4 League Cups, 1 Cup Winners Cup, 1 Super Cup, 1 Intercontinental Cup, 1 World Club Championship, 19 Charity Shields." He had their attention so continued.

"We just almost beat Liverpool on their own turf. Do you know their honours????? Well I'm going to tell you. 18 top League titles, 5 times European Cup Winners, 7 times FA Cup Winners, 7 times League Cup Winners, 3 times UEFA Cup Winners, 3 European Super Cup Wins, 15 Charity Shield Wins. I would combine them together but I've run out of fingers. These are great club sides regardless of who they put in their first eleven. YOU ARE HEROES! I am proud of EVERY single one of YOU. David Lee, stand up. You are a hero, your goals got us this far, everyone lets give David a round of applause."

They all whooped and clapped furiously, then each got their turn in the spotlight and the recognition they deserved, even the coach driver got a turn, although he didn't stand up as he had to drive. Connor then turned his attention to his Chairman and quote Jerry Maguire to the confusion of the younger players.

"Tony, you are my ambassador of kwan man. Thank you for everything you have done to get us here." And they hugged, like only real men could. Tony forced the mike off him and gave Connor his moment. As the coach pulled up at the ground and the players departed, they roared each other off and went off into the night. Tony gave Connor a lift home and with a tear in his eye simply said, "really proud mate, really, really proud".

19.02.12 - FA Cup 5th Rnd - Liverpool (A) L 2-3 - Lammy, Mooney

[mistahc]

Connor floated lifelessly, submerged in the depth of the water. He was being pulled down to the abyss but had no fight left after the struggling which seemed to last a life-time. His lungs were close to bursting and he thought about just opening his mouth to left the salty liquid fill his lungs. It was close to ending, he could feel it now. He closed his eyes, knowing it would soon be over and he welcomed it.

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They say form is temporary, but class is permanent. Connor believed morale and momentum was the key to being a football manager. If they lost, they HAD to quickly get back to winning ways.

The Cup schedule had not been favourable, it was 3 away games in the space of 6 days. Liverpool away on Sunday, Bury Town away in the semi-final of the Alan Boon Cup on Wednesday, Newport County away in the FA Trophy.

The FA Cup was always going to get the strong team, which with semi-pro's meant they could only play one of the following games. So it was either play the unfit first team to ensure a Final appearance, but effectively throw away any chance of progressing in the FA Trophy. Or he could play the second string against Bury who were a league above them.

He went for broke and played the second choice, and Benjamin scored twice in the 3-0 win. Connor breathed a sigh of relief, as he really wanted to get the first trophy this season, the club deserved it, the players merited it, the fans warranted it, and the Chairman craved it. They would play Aveley in the final, who were a place below the team they just beat. They had a real chance of glory.

This gave the first choice team plenty of time to relax and get their fitness ready for the second trip to Newport of the season. Last time round it was the biggest club they had faced to date in competitive football, for a place in the first round of the FA Cup. Now, they made the 3 hour drive having played top level opposition twice. He liked to think they were a better team since the 1-0 win, so was quietly confident despite their continued good performance in the Blue Square Premier.

En route to the match Connor read speculation that the Brighton hierarchy were losing patience with manager Gus Poyet, and needed a good result away against Portsmouth at the weekend. They were 19th in the Championship, so Connor sent a text on support and suggested that he give miss-firing Ashley Barnes and Craig Mackail-Smith a bacon sarnie.

Preston Park cruised to a 3-0 win to face Hyde in the Semi Final.

On the return journey home Gus texted back to say it took two minutes for Barnes to score his first goal in 20 games to set them away for their first victory in 7 games. He didn't confirm the bacon sandwich, but it was implied.

League action saw a 3-1 win versus Dulwich Hamlet on Leap day, despite being 1-0 down and the opponents missing a penalty. 2 goals in the last 10 minutes sealed the win and showed the winning mentality was back.

More speculation from the press haunted the Brighton Supremo, under pressure to beat Peterboro at the same time as Preston Park Celtic travelled to Faversham. Connor felt sorry for Gus, he found him engaging and charming and football management could be cruel. They came back from 1-0 again, winning 3-2. Brighton won again, which was good news as they followed it up with a 3-0 away at Barnsley to get up to 14th place. Their strikers were firing again.

For the third game in a row they went 1-0 down, this time against Hythe. For the third game in a row they came back from behind to win. This game was the confirmation Connor and Tony had been waiting for, they had won the Ryman Isthmian Division One South. The fans and board were ecstatic, the impossible was made possible by Lee's 15 league goals. No-one expected it pre-season and the 7-0 thumping by Brighton seemed a million miles away, where a Sunday League side chased shadows.

They couldn't celebrate too much, a few days later they played Hyde at home in the FA Trophy Semi-Final first leg. They scored first, and won 5-2, David Lee with four. Surely another final was in touching distance.

Around this time of year the English clubs would do youth soccer schools. In Sussex, Brighton were the biggest club in the large catchment area, but London clubs like Chelsea picked the best of the bunch and had mass appeal. Brighton hoovered up the rest of the talent. The Preston Park turnout was of poor quality, with one so bad at long throws he constantly dropped them. Two did stand out, in a slightly better than useless sense. Tony Sweeney, a young striker, and Alex Stamp a DLC. It was a good opportunity to snap up young talent unsigned at other clubs, but as per usual no-one of any quality was interested, the glory hunting little oiks.

Walton and Hersham played out a dull draw on their own turf in the league before the return leg in the FA Trophy. Connor sent a relaxed side out and although Lee scored twice, they lost 3-2. It was an irrelevant loss, they were into the final to play Mansfield. In the FA Cup Liverpool played a strong side away to Aston Villa and lost 1-0, with formal striker Heskey getting the goal.

Two more league games, first-choice team at home vs Corinthian-Casuals (5-0), then second-choice away vs Maidestone (2-1) with Hancock scoring his first goal for 18 hours.

On Wednesday it was Alan Boon Cup Final time, at the Withdean. With home advantage they had a great chance to fill that trophy cabinet.

22.02.12 - Alan Boon Cup SF - Bury Town (A) W 3-0 -Benjamin(2), Palmer

25.02.12 - FAT 4th Rnd - Newport Co (A) W 3-0 - O'Brien, Mooney, O.G

29.02.12 - League - Dulwich Hamlet (H) W 3-1 - Lammy(2), Rubbins

03.03.12 - League - Faversham (A) W 3-2 - Poke, Lee(2)

07.03.12 - League - Hythe (H) W 2-1 - Murray, Wilkinson

10.03.12 - FAT SF 1st Leg - Hyde (H) W 5-2 - Lee(4), Benjamin

14.03.12 - League - Walton & Hersham (A) D 0-0

17.03.12 - FAT SF 2nd leg - Hyde (A) L 2-3 - Lee(2)

21.03.12 - League - Corinthian-Casuals (H) W 5-0 - Lee, O.G, Lammy(2), Mooney

24.03.12 - League - Maidstone (A) W 2-1 - Hancock, Doherty

[tenthreeleader]

You're continuing to do a very nice job here. Reading along, keep it up!

[mistahc]

thanks a lot, struggling to keep it interesting though, is it accepted just to speed over some league results?

I thought the unbelievable results might get thought of as faked, but it's all happened.

Expect second season syndrome and might have to introduce some colourful player characters or some cheer-leaders or something.

[tenthreeleader]

thanks a lot, struggling to keep it interesting though, is it accepted just to speed over some league results?

I thought the unbelievable results might get thought of as faked, but it's all happened.

Expect second season syndrome and might have to introduce some colourful player characters or some cheer-leaders or something.

Couple of thoughts for you:

First, it's your world. If you want to speed write go ahead. It's important to note though that continuity is important to many readers. If you're all over the board, so are they in all likelihood. The results are your results -- play and write as you wish.

Thirdly, characterization is hard. But it's worth it. You've shown what few new writers here do -- a willingness to stick with your work. That's a HUGE plus and I want to encourage you in any way I can to keep that going.

One way is to slow your pace a bit. That gives you time to write characters and, in essence, "keep things interesting" should you choose to go that route. We tell new writers that the Wilson Way or the 10-3 Way are often ways to write. You've done wonderfully here -- now maybe it's the time for you to choose your path.

PM if you have questions or need to bounce ideas.

[mistahc]

Morning, good advice thanks. The problem is I still get the "just one more game", "let me get to that cup game quickly", "I want to play my new signing" which has been my problem for the last 20 years. Because now the characters and club seem more real, I'm now interested to see how it works out for them. In essence, slowing down is hard as I struggle to write about games that have passed and write it up "real-time"

[tenthreeleader]

That's the writer's problem. We deal with in different ways. My big save is from FM 08 and I've still played only three seasons in it becuase of the writing I do. Finding the right balance is hard but if you do it right, you end up with writing that consumes you almost as much as the game play. Perhaps the best way around it is to write in "Chapter" form, which allows you to be a little more free-flowing. Say, one chapter per month and the matches that you want to short, you can write around a bit more easily in that format. Just a suggestion. The chapters are then as long or as short as you like.

[mark wilson27]

With my stories I tend to write down the details for each match and then write up after I've done a season. Out of the four stories I have got on the forums I am only currently playing one game as the rest have finished as a save.

You have a very good story here and trust me when I say you will have alot of people reading

[mistahc]

The unknown entity continued to pull him deeper. Resistance was futile, he was in borrowed time. The whistle was in Death's lips and he was preparing to blow. He thought it was all over....

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Wednesday nights are not normally associated with Cup Finals, still the Alan Boon Cup was no ordinary cup. Previously known as the Ryman League Cup, it started in 1975 and the inaugural trophy was won by Tilbury. This was obviously Preston Park Celtics first appearance in the final, but their opponents Aveley had won in their only appearance in 1990. The game was played at the Withdean Stadium as the final was often played at a finalists home ground.

In true glamorous style, all the players worked their day job and arrived around 6pm at the ground, plenty of time before the 19:45 kick-off. Being at the Withdean, it didn’t feel like a Final. In the pouring rain, Lee scored an early goal and they never looked like losing. It ended 3-1 and 930 people watched a rather rain-soaked winners presentation.

A rather muted reaction greeted the action of Michael Reay lift the trophy aloft with the club’s green and gold ribbons adorning the sides. It said something of how far the club had come that the first Trophy they had ever won was met with an air of expectancy, regardless of being a league below. Man of the Match Lammy summed up the attitude in the post-match interview by stating that while they were delighted to win it, it had heightened the desire for more success and with the league sealed, they know just wanted to get to the FA Trophy Final at Wembley.

Luckily the players took the League more seriously than expected, winning 6 out of 6, including a record 6-0 win and a goalscoring debut for young Sweeney, at just 15 years old and 355 days.

In the FA Cup, Aston Villa completed a Cup double, beating QPR to add to their earlier League Cup win and a cup double.

On the May Day Bank Holiday Monday it was Preston Park Celtic's turn at Wembley. A 19,000 strong crowd was expected with Mansfield, 6th in the Blue Square Premiership touted as likely winners and considered vastly superior. The Super Hoops had a long road to Wembley, beating Potters Bar, Prescot, Evesham, Hampton & Richmond, Lincoln, Luton, Wrexham, Newport Co, and Hyde.

The night before Connor laid wide awake. He knew they were the underdogs as he had a bet on his side to win at 30-1, now through an account in his dog's name.

He pondered the day ahead and his selection options. Lammy was the only injury doubt, but otherwise it was a full squad to choose from. 9 players were obvious in McCann, Wilkinson, Murray, Lyskov, Hummel, O'Brien, Rubbins, Mooney and Lee. The only dilemma was upfront in Lammy's absence, with Benjamin most likely, and in defence with Reay and Zola in contention. He fell asleep dreaming of coming off the bench to head in the winner. Which would have been disallowed as he wasn't registered as a player, but that wasn't the point.

At 6am his mind was wild with thoughts and his stomach queasy. He rushed to the toilet and it came out his bum like pedigree chum. He was far more nervous that he expected to be. It wasn't concious nerves as he was strangely confident in his side, but perhaps it was the fear of failure on the big stage like Anfield. The TV camera's would be on them again, and they had a great chance to redeem themselves. He lifted himself gingerly from the seat and washed up, returning to bed and curled up in the foetal position.

It was about this time last year he played his last Sunday league match, and if someone told him that he was going to walk up the Wembley steps for a medal he would have laughed. And he did laugh at the thought of how incredible it was. His phone buzzed as a text came in from Tony, who was probably a closer friend now than they were before. It just said "you up? can't sleep. Pooping through the eye of a needle here, must have had a dodgy Colin Murray last night."

As it was only a short trip round the M25, the entire squad and youth team went in coaches. This felt like a Cup Final to everyone and they were up for this one. They got to the ground early and had the tour, and Connor gathered the troops into a close-knit huddle.

"Can you feel the history lads? Think about what trophies have been won here"

The players all knew the stadium was re-built five years previously, but appreciated he had a point if you included the old Wembley.

"Can you hear that boys? I think it's an echo from the crowds of years gone by"

The players looked confused until a hushed and croaky carpe diem could be heard. They sniggered and rolled their eyes at the Dead Poets Society rip off.

"Carpe Diem...... seize the day boys, seize the day"

The players were fired up and were eager to get on the pitch so were out warming up as soon as they were allowed by the FA contingent. Connor wanted to repeat his Anfield goal so went on to have a crack. The pitch was watered, the shoes had no grip, and they combined to send his legs high and put grass stains on the rear of his trousers to jeers and laughter from his players. Ten minutes later he was back in a scrubbed suit and football boots. He looked like an idiot but didn't care as he curled it in the top corner, this time getting cheers. It wasn't until later that night that he was aware the camera's caught the slip and the presenters took joy in showing it during half-time.

In the dressing room just the named players were there. Zola started at Right-back, a position he could cover, and Benjamin upfront. The bench-warmers were Cassidy, Reay, Alali, Doherty, and Sweeney. The rest were sent to their seats to keep the disappointment hidden away to avoid distraction. He gave each and everyone of them such a confidence boost that they would have run out to face a firing squad with expectation they could dodge bullets.

The players lined up ready to go onto the pitch, Murray first as captain for the day, holding the hand of his young nephew as a mascot. Behind him, each player was holding the hand of their own child or relation. When given the go ahead they streamed onto the pitch two by two, like animals to the ark, to rapturous applause, released balloons and blaring music.

They lined up in the centre of the pitch, and were introduced to the newly married Duchess of Cambridge, who was representing the Royal family in one of her first public engagements. On his turn Connor commented that the young Prince and his wife were almost named the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, the Brighton-based clubs home county. Tony opted to comment of her sisters lovely derriere which caused some amusement. They looked full of beans as the Harold Webb started the game, and the passing on display belied the non-league status.

19361 was the official attendance, inflated by free tickets for schools. They cheered, albeit high-pitched, and sent round multiple Mexican waves to create a great atmosphere in the quarter-full stadium. Their first goal celebratory squeak came in the 18th minute, when Rubbins hit a corner in for Wilkinson to head home. The players celebrated conservatively, and they took the 1-0 lead into HT.

Connor sent Reay on for Zola to get his moment, and he played a small part in Lee's 47th minute goal. They were cruising. And they continued to cruise and scored a third, again celebrated with passion, but professionalism. They expertly starved the game until Mr Webb called time to spark the now released joy and emotion. All the players ran on the pitch and celebrated together, the Wembley moment belonged to the tiny part-time club from Brighton. And they deserved it. There was no luck in this performance, it was clinical and one a top team would have been proud of.

Once the correct colours were applied to the trophy, and Mansfield had collected their losers medals, the players followed Reay up the stairs. One by one each one was given their winners medal and gleefully eyed up the trophy. Soon it was time for the Captain to hold the trophy aloft, and he asked Connor to hold it with him. The manager was not a fan of being centre of attention, but this was evidently a popular decision amongst the players, so he obliged. The two of them proudly lifted the trophy aloft, and they did a lap of honour in front of the 50 remaining true fans.

Connor would wake the next day sharing a bed with the trophy, having the fright of his life when he opened his eyes and saw a concave reflection of himself staring back. It would have to live in his flat for the time being, with there being a lack of an actual trophy cabinet. At least it had the League trophy and Alan Boon Cup for company.

28.03.12 - Alan Boon Cup Final - Aveley (H) W 3-1 - Lee, Mooney, Lammy

31.03.12 - League - Folkestone (H) W 1-0 - Lee

07.04.12 - League - Whyteleafe (A) W 4-0 - Mooney, Hummel, O.G, O'Brien

09.04.12 - League - Merstham (H) W 3-0 - Benjamin(2), Sweeney

14.04.12 - League - Sittingbourne (A) W 3-0 - Lee, Lammy, O.G

21.04.12 - League - Eastbourne Town (A) W 6-0 - O'Brien, Wilkinson, Lee(2), Sweeney, Rubbins

28.04.12 - League -Walton Casuals (H) W 2-0 - Mooney, O'Brien

07.05.12 - FA Trophy Final - Mansfield (N) W 3-0 - Wilkinson, Lee, Mooney

[mistahc]

The squad were off on their season break, some were going to the Euro's as England fans, some on lads holidays to Europe, others just kept on working in their day jobs.

Connor wasn't sure yet of his plans, but his season wasn't finished. His debut season as a Football Manager had resulted in a Manager of the Year award, and he was invited to a big party and award ceremony. Donning his tuxedo, he arrived with pride at the LMA Manager of the Year awards at The Brewery in Old Street. He was looking forward to rubbing shoulders with the Premier League winner Martin O'Neil, who led Sunderland to mid-table obscurity and early cup exits.

Gus Poyet was travelling in a private car so offered him a lift he readily accepted. They talked football, and on arrival the Uruguyan was instantly recognised and directed to his table. Connor had to ask for assistance, and he was slightly embarrassed to be re-directed to the smaller ceremony in a tiny conference room next door for the NLMA awards. He walked in and the conversation stopped, the nearest to anyone wearing a tux was a T-Shirt version. He face shined like a beacon.

He did get to stand shoulder to shoulder with Ian Bogie, who had achieved great things with his Gateshead side, but still was in jeans and a shirt.

The non-league paper did want an interview though as the club were going to get a section in the 8 page winners pull-out, where they touted him as one of the 'upcoming young Managers in the Non-League English game". He sat in his tux and was grilled.

"So Connor, a successful season for you ending with an award for Manager of the Year, can you describe the secret of your success in three words?"

"Luck. Spine. Momentum" he replied, counting them out on his fingers.

"Oh right, please explain?

"Well the team was founded on luck; the chairman won some money on the lottery to get the club in the league, and we had some lucky breaks during the season, lots actually, with some very favourable draws helping us along the way. The first game was very fortuitous, and that gave us the confidence in ourselves. We managed to attract some great players for nothing, most playing on non-contracts and we were lucky no-one came in and offered a deal, it really does prove there is loyalty in football and they played for the love of the game. These are players who can play at a higher level, and this team could take us up to the Blue Square Premier easily. The spine of the team is very solid, McCann in goal, Murray at the back, Hummel holding the midfield enabling Rubbins and Mooney to pull the strings, and Lee was the top scorer in the division. Once we had the winning momentum we were able to keep it going for the Cup games. Management is based on psychology; winning is a mentality. The morale was superb through the season. You need to make players believe in themselves, and make opponents doubt themselves. It's sounds cliché but we really did not know how to lose. It's a bit like Pavlov's dogs, we conditioned the team to be winners and have a desire to win from when that whistle blows"

"you played out a couple of dull draws though" the interviewer chuckled "But seriously your league form was phenomenal. You played 40, winning 35 and drawing 5. Scoring 89 goals and conceding just 15. No-one else in the leagues were unbeaten and that was more goals scored and wins than Man City, Southampton, Sheffield United, Swindon, and Wrexham who all won their respective divisions. Your cup runs were remarkable, winning both the FA Trophy and Alan Boon Cup, and reaching the 5th round of the FA Cup. You really were cup specialists playing 27 cup games, you beat Manchester United who came third in the Premier League, and were 10 minutes away from beating Liverpool who finished ninth. That is surely the stuff of dreams?"

"Well yes, I was asked to avoid relegation, and to be honest in pre-season I didn't think even that was possible. But bringing in some quality players made the difference. Football is a fickle game though, you are a tactical genius if you win, but inept if you lose."

"So what was your moment of the season?"

"Beating Man United without a doubt. The image that sticks in my mind was when we smashed in our winner. As our left back skipped clear I caught sight of Sir Alex's mouth drop open, with his chewing gum fall out onto his club tie. I found it in the bin afterwards, I have it somewhere."

"How did it feel beating them?"

"You could put me in an orgy with FHM's top 10 sexiest women and it wouldn't top it."

"Ha ha, I'm not sure I believe you. So I have the squad stats here.

McCann in goal, conceding just 32 goals in 59 appearances. He was in great form, with our experts rating him with a 6.77 average.

Reay or Wilkinson at rightback, playing 28 games each, rated at 7.04 and 7.30 respectively. Reay chipped in with 2 goals, both free kicks if I recall, and Wilkinson scored 4 headers.

Murray was obviously the star centre-back, playing 58 and scoring 9 goals, rated at 7.34 for the season, and awarded 8 MOM's.

Lyskov played 36 games at left-back, rated at 7.26

Hummel protected the back-four for 51 games, scoring twice, also at 7.26

Rubbins was a creative force, with 11 goals and 19 assists in his 51 games, and given a 7.17

Doherty scored 14 goals and 13 assists in 35 games and rated 7.19

Mooney scored 13, with 7 assists in 29 games, rated at 7.27

O'Brien scored 7 in his 29 games, rated at 7.06

Lee was the star man up front, scoring an incredible 44 in 52 games, and weighing in with 19 assists. He got 16 man of the matches, and a 7.68 average.

There were some other supporting acts:

Poke - P25 S4 A4 R6.88

Carroll - P24 R6.93

Lammy - P18 S12 R7.56

Benjamin - P16 S8 R7.26

So out of that lot, who was your player of the season?"

"They were all great and all played a part. I think you have to point to Lee for his goals, but he also shares the most assists, he really was unplayable at times. The scary thing is he is only part time, and is often seen jogging his postal round. He's the fastest Postman in the South."

"So what about next year? Do you have you eye on any signings?"

"Well there is going to be cash to spend next season and we obviously always look at ways to strengthen the squad, and I think a few quality players would fit in well. In truth though, I genuinely believe this team can perform at the next level. There are some exciting young talents in the team who can only get better and get better."

"And what about yourself? You now recognised as a top young talent, if a big club comes calling will you test yourself on the bigger stage? There are more rumours about Gus Poyet being sacked by Brighton, and you are in the running to replace him."

"Let's get this straight, Gus is a fantastic manager and one of the nicest guys in football. He's done a great job there and they should be very proud of him. I do want to test myself at a higher level, but with this club. This club is going places and the chairman is a good friend of mine, not only that but this is a fantastic group of players so why would I leave? This club is capable of reaching the premier league."

"Blue Square I take it, anything else to add?"

"Just a quick thanks to everyone at the club, from the canteen staff to the coach driver, they've all done us proud. Here's to next year. I also want to mention our support of the anti-racism campaign and wish our Club Captain Michael Reay all the best in his fight against cancer. He's doing well and the initial signs are very positive, and we are with him every step of the way. Oh and if Messi is watching, Michael said you are welcome to play for us any time."

"Ha ha, I'll be sure to let him know. Last question then, your native Ireland aren't playing in the euro's this summer, and there is talk of Trapattoni leaving. I see that you are not even an outsider for the job but stranger things have happened. If they offered it to you, would you be interested?"

"Maybe one day, but it's a bit early for that right now! I've got a lot to learn first"

And that was that, the whirl-wind season was over.

But there was still work to be done, and an event shook the club and Connor to the core.

It was a fine Spring May day when Captain Michael Reay unexpectedly arrived at his manger's home, and he clearly was troubled. Connor was surprised, but welcomed him in and offered him a drink. He was not in the mood for a beverage and as tears wet his eyes, he got straight to the point.

He had found a lump of one of his testicles while in the shower and was clearly concerned about it. He told his manager that he was too embarrassed to go to the doctor and didn't know what to do. He was scared, the fear widening his eyes and making him sob uncontrollably. He was begging his boss to tell him everything was going to be okay.

With his mangers encouragement (and refusal to have a second opinion feel), he summoned the courage to go to the experts and after tests stage 1 cancer was confirmed.

He was lucky it was caught early and he didn't sit it on any longer, but it meant surgery to remove the testicle, followed by chemotherapy and long-term follow-up. While his early action saved his life like 95% of those affected, it would be the start of a decline as a footballer and the end of his police career.

While former Wales, Arsenal and Celtic striker John Hartson, ex-Millwall striker Neil Harris, and ex-pro Alan Stubbs survived, 29 year old amateur footballer Simon Nelson had passed away in March unaware of having the disease.

This drove home to the club the fragility of life, and they vowed to participate in events to fund-raise for cancer research, and highlight the importance of keeping your eye on the ball, checking your tackle, and practising ball control whenever possible.

It was a real low after the highs of the season, and took the shine of the gleaming Alan Boon, FA Trophy and the Ryman Isthmian League trophies.

[mistahc]

Season 2 - A Substantial Gift (The Broken Promise)

Connor lay in his bed. It was a Monday or Tuesday, he didn't really know but it didn't matter. He was on holiday and had nothing to get up for. The sun was coming through the curtains and he got up towards them, promptly pulling them tighter to hide the guilt of staying in bed. It was paradise, even if he hadn't changed the sheets in a few weeks. He logged onto the Fans Forum "The Flying Pig" and secretly read the fans views, and was not surprised to see David Lee topped their poll for player of the season. He then chuckled about the potential big signing been named by "someone in the know". He opened an account and started a thread about Michael Owen was joining as he had stables in Sussex. The phone rang and the display showed a number he didn't recognise. He answered it just for something to do, half expecting a sales call of some description. Within seconds he wished it was, it was an irate Tony.

"you IDIOT! You knew I hadn't told my wife about the lottery win! She's just seen your interview and went mental and kicked me out. She's fuming, something about wanting a cottage in the Cotswolds, who'd want to go there? Anyway, I'm coming to stay in your spare room, get yourself out of bed and make sure the sheets are clean."

Connor sighed and thought of the state the flat was in. He wasn't in the mood to have a house guest, but agreed he had a part to play in the situation. Ten minutes later the doorbell rung and Tony swanned in with no bag, and went straight into the kitchen and put the kettle on, commenting that the unusual aroma was still lingering around.

Over a cuppa all was was forgiven with talks of Saturday nights watching the football highlights over a takeaway curry and some beers. While waiting for the delivery Tony found the source of the stench from the curtains, and discovered the remains of the prawns left by Connor's ex as a revenge ploy. Within the hour they both agreed they should have a lads holiday somewhere to enjoy their break and escape the smell and give it time to clear. Tony splashed the cash on an apartment and flights to Cyprus, as a bonus to his friend's loyalty over the season.

Lying on the beach they talked about life and love, and Tony moaned about having a wife who was money motivated. Tony admitted he wanted a divorce anyway, and luckily while she could have half his assets, he technically had nothing as it all belonged to the club. She would flip if and when she found out the team made a profit of £1.4 million, 80% of a 1.7 million turnover, with £350K in prize money. They discussed budgets and their expectations in Ryman Isthmian Premier League. They agreed mid-table was a reasonable aim, and a budget of £240K for transfers and £6.25k for weekly wages. Tony then used his renowned negotiating skills.

"I was thinking, you did great last season so I want to offer you a new contract. So, How's a new deal sound?"

"Excellent, I've managed to gamble my way to supplement my zero wages, but I see we are second favourites at 5/2 this year, so I'm unlikely to earn any big money this time round. What's the terms?"

"A zero year contract, wages N/A."

"Ah, well that's generous of you, isn't it about time you paid me a wage? Can I have a part-time deal?"

"yes, but it must expire in the year 1900."

"But that's in the past Tony. I can't confirm that as it's impossible. Have you got sun-stroke?"

"2 year deal, no wages on a non-contract. Final offer. Do you want to ask the audience or phone a friend?"

"But surely if it's a non-contract I can leave at any time, why's it 2 years? That makes no sense? And I'm a sought after manager name, my reputation is national, I deserve at least minimum wage?"

"La la la la la la la la not listening la la la la la la la"

"Tony, come on, this is unfair"

"I'll pay for your Meze tonight and your copious amount of holiday beer if you agree this deal"

"Fine, done."

In reality he wasn't going anywhere, but it would have been nice to cover his living costs with his job. The conversation trailed off as two topless Scandinavian lovelies walked past. Tony commented it would be great to have some lookers like them at the club, as they'd be filled to the rafters.

On their return to the country there were a few surprises. 18 players and staff had left, his assistant, only coach and his other scout. Players who left were Joshua Poke, Martin Smith, Ken Durrant, Bryan Jones, Alun Williams, Pat Dunbar, Antony Farley, Shaun Partridge, Gareth Fletcher, Oktay Bulut, James Dunk, Francis Munday, Hamza Musah, Joe Shonk, Louis Johnson-Schuster. Only Poke played a big part the previous season, but 41 yr old Drysdale was poached by Arlesey, who's experience was a loss.

Connor was forced into action and had a look at available players. Once more he looked to his homeland and signed Antony Bolger – SC 20, Simon Dunne – 22 DC, Daryn Hennessy – 20 AMC, Noel Varley – 21 DR DM/MC, Ronan McEnteggart – 21 MC, Andy Devlin – 20 DRC, Shane Keeley – 21 MC, Craig Walsh – 20 DMC – who he remembered from the Sky reality show to find the next football star a few years back.

There were more signings. His chief scout Jason went to Poland to watch the Euro's and scout for talent. He wasn't asked, he was just an avid England and football fan and was delighted they got as far as the semi's with Turkey beating Portugal in the Final. He did find talent who was interested, but down a local park, and brought back a youngster called Slawomir Gac, a Polish right-winger. Which didn't fit in the used formation but Connor agreed he was pretty good on the ball.

He also wanted a big signing to ensure promotion and after intensive searches found Martin Hysky, at 36 a veteran Centre-back, but the most experienced player by far and had 25 caps at U21 level for the Czechs. He would be great at helping the young lads learn their game.

Connor also improved the backroom staff with a new assistant, a goalkeeping coach, a fitness coach, and a defensive coach to make them a far more professional outfit, if not in status.

In the first friendly Brighton came visiting again and Connor and Gus greeted each other like old friends. The improving Reay was in attendance and asked the club to play in Brighton's pink and white stripes in support of cancer research and collected money for both squads and the 1480 strong crowd. Again Vicente would start, and Connor picked 8 of his countrymen in the starting 11. The team was GK - Cassidy, Def –Varley, Murray, Dunne, Lyskov, Mid – Hummel, Walsh, Rubbins, Hennessy, Str – Lee, Bolger. They lost 2-0, but that was progress made. Charity was the winner with £50K and Reay's spirits being raised. To complete his day Tony offered an ambassador's role for life and a role as head of the community work the club would do, which enabled him to continue his anti-racism and charity fund-raising. His role included managing the new cheerleaders, which gave him a lift and took his mind off the limited playing time.Brighton had released the cheer-leading outfit Gully's girls to replace them with a modern street dancing outfit, and Tony was still inspired by his recent holiday brain-wave to generate crowd interest.

Surprisingly they had competitive football already, playing Harrow in the Isthmian League Charity Shield at Withdean. For the game Tony brought out his new cheer-leaders and grabbed the mike and welcomed them to the club and announced a competition to find a name. The provisionally named "Bacon's Babes" did a snazzy routine in their new club outfits and certainly livened the place up a bit.

Prior to the match Murray was named as the new club captain in the absence of Reay, with the experienced Hysky his deputy. Both started in central defence, joined by McCann, Devlin and Lyskov, Hummel, Rubbins, Keely, McEnteggart, Bolger and Lee.

In the game, David Lee started the season how he finished the last, with a first minute headed goal. Harrow equalised with a header, but Hysky headed in a debut goal to re-take the lead. In the second half he repeated the trick, but substitute Lammy was sent off for a vicious foul. It ended 3-1, all headers, and the clubs forth honour in their history.

To complete the good news week, the club got a new 2 year sponsorship deal with a local company, bringing in a massive £500. Connor thought of the wonderful things he could buy, but apparently it was ear-marked for a new lawn-mower.

Undistracted by the Olympics, the club won their next three friendly matches, while Team GB lost in the final to Spain. The brits did beat Brazil 4-1 in semi’s to get there, and all of the Olympians inspired a generation with their performances.

The final friendly was particularly chosen against French side AS Marck to test the players against different style of play. They went 1-0 down, but pulled it back to 1-1 for HT. They won 3-1, but the game was a disaster, Lee was out for 2 months and Rubbins was also injured for 2-3 weeks.

Connor's hand was forced and he signed Victor Zapata-Caicedo (instantly nicknamed Zap), a 17 year old Colombian/English Striker who was released by Spurs, and Naim El-Harrati, a 18 year old Moroccan midfielder, released by Preston who thought he was re-signing for them until he arrived at the ground in Brighton.

It was a busy team squad photo, with no less than 44 players completing the first and reserve team numbers. With staff it was over 50.

Pre-season was over, now the real action would begin.

18.07.12 - Friendly - Brighton (A) L 0-2

24.07.12 - Isthmian CS - Harrow (H) W 3-1 -Lee, Hysky(2)

29.07.12 - Friendly - Avon Rockleaze (H) W 4-1 - Hennessy, Bolger, Murray(2)

03.08.12 - Friendly - Fleet (H) W 3-1 - Rubbins, O.G, Varley

11.08.12 - Friendly - Ilford (H) W 3-0 - Bolger(2), Lee

09.08.12 - Friendly - AS Marck (H) W 3-1 - Lee, O.G, Mooney

[mistahc]

Connor and Tony were delighted the new cheerleaders agreed to do a calender to raise funds for Cancer research. They just needed a name for the group so ran through the competition entries for the Cheerleader group name looking for a good one

"Hamlet's Harlets?"

"The streakers?"

"Can I see your Ham bush?"

"Kevin Baconettes?"

"Breakfast is served?"

"The Miss Piggy's?"

"Porks Illustrated?"

"Bacon's Babes/Beauties?"

"Francis Foxes?"

"Tony's Trotters?"

"Glooms Girls?"

"You're all male chauvinist pigs?" They were not sure if that was an entry or just feedback.

They decided to leave the competition running a bit longer, but Porks illustrated was a clear front runner and suited the calender idea.

The first league game of the season was away to Concord Rangers. The Rangers vs Celtic game was a dire affair with the new team clearly not gelling. Noel Varley scored a 83rd minute winner in a scrappy..

The second game was just a few days later at home and was a comprehensively result. Zapata-Caicedo and Bolger both got two apiece in the 4-0 win. It was empathic and Connor was delighted. 102 people were present, and he decided that his chairman must have brought in the Cheerleaders just to increase the attendance as they took seats during the game.

The new players were technically far superior, but didn't seem to control the game as well. Regardless, the team laboured to a 1-0 away win against Kingstonian and then beating Drysdales new club Arlesey 2-0 in front of 108 at the Withdean.

It was then FA Cup 1st Qualifying Round action at home to minnows Eccleshill. Even though the first choice team were fit, it was an opportunity to give the other players a run out. Cassidy, Reay (in his come-back game), Dunne, Carroll, Stamp, Onyekachi, El-Harrati, Rubbins, Doherty, Lammy and Benjamin. It all looked like it was going to go according to plan when Lammy won a penalty, but Onyekachi sent it into orbit in true Waddle style. The imaginatively named Jack Jackson then gave the underdogs the lead and it was still the same score as Lammy limped off injured in the 66th minute. Connor was facing an humbling defeat and played his wild card, the rarely used Plan B. He put Mooney on upfront, replaced Benjamin with Gac and sent him on the right wing, and replaced Doherty with McCoy to play left-wing. Coming into the 83rd minute the 220 were restless, until Mooney released McCoy to equalise. 6 Minutes later Dunne headed them in front from a corner. In the 93rd minute young Stamp stopped a replay by clearing off the line, and Mooney wrapped up the 3-1 in the 94th minute, completing a 30 minute MOM performance. It was a lot closer than the score suggested, and they'd have to play better to beat Scarborough Ath away in the next round.

Whenever the team didn't play well Connor went into Redknapp mode. Getting more players in when you don't have to pay them is incredibly easy, getting good ones isn't. It was then fate played a part. Connor went to see his star striker Lee at his home to see how his recovery from injury was going. While there he got chatting to his brother in-law Nick. He was living in Ireland and was knowledgeable in the Irish league. He agreed to scout Ireland for the club free of charge, providing if any of the players or the club made it big he'd be compensated at that point. It was a win/win deal for Connor so he snapped it up.

He paid instant dividends and provided Willie Gahan, a young 19 year old S/AMC who looked pretty good and a set piece expert.

In the monthly staff meeting he was alerted to a young Danish keeper called Martin Madsen who used to play for Brondby, and a new staff member, a Spanish coach called Joseba Barandiaran, who he hoped would teach some tippy-tappy football. Both were snapped up.

Due to an injury sustained by Zapata-Caicedo, Gahan made his debut in the home game against 2nd placed Billericay, and Madsen was given a chance over McCann. Both looked decent in the 4-0 victory, but the show was stolen by someone else. Connor hadn't set any instructions on corners, he wasn't tactically very good like that. Last season Murray often loitered in the 6 yard box to bury a header as the keeper stayed on his line. This season Hysky seemed to be there, scoring two before today. He doubled that tally, and later when McEnteggart was fouled, his smashed in a penalty to claim his first hat-trick in 20 years of playing football. The most he had ever scored in a season was 2, and now it was only September and he was the leading scorer on 5.

It was now time to begin the defence of the FA Trophy, away to Evo-Stick First Division South side New Mills. Again the team was changed and first goals for Gahan, Dunne and Gac saw the team comfortable through with a 3-1 win to face Grantham Town away in the next round.

Connor celebrated a Manager of the Month award on the day he pulled of his second coup. 32 years old central defender and 6ft 7 inches tall Clive Delaney signed on a free from Dulwich Hill. Centre-backs were a plenty, but he couldn't turn down the opportunity to sign players capable of playing in the football league.

Delaney was cup-tied for the next FA Cup 2nd Qualifying round. On seeing the importance of another FA Cup run, Connor sent out his strongest team through the lined up "Porks illustrated", including David Lee in his return to fitness. Dane Madsen now owned the Number 1 Jersey. It took two minutes to take a giant leap, Lee forcing an own goal out of Crouch. He added two of his own to Varley's effort to make it 4-0 at half-time to the jubilation of the 207 strong crowd.. It stayed that way and they would play Chelmsford City of the Blue Square South next.

Now some managers have tough decisions, and Connor was facing a centre-back decision. Clearly his best two were Delaney and Hysky. The Irishman had played at the top level in Ireland with European experience with Derry City, and even warmed the bench for West Ham when they were in the English Premiership. They would make a formidable pairing. The problem was it meant leaving out the brilliant, loyal and Club Captain Colin Murray. They sat down and had a chat, and Colin knew the logical decision and wanted the club to do well. But he had a plan.

"Boss, did I ever tell you I am a compenent left-back? I know you've never known that and my strengths are obviously heading and tackling, but I really want to stay in the team. Lyskov has the attributes needed to play down the left but struggles for fitness sometimes. How about you let me play there in the next game so I can show you what I can do?"

Connor agreed and they kept a clean sheet in the 3-0 away win over Wealdstone. Murray was solid, but did not carry Lyskov's attacking threat, which he demonstrated in the 1-0 win over Lowesoft with an assist and a man of the match performance. It was a tough call.

25.08.12 - League - Concord Rangers (A) W 1-0 - Varley

27.08.12 - League - Waltham Abbey (H) W 4-0 - Zapata-Caicedo(2), Bolger(2)

02.09.12 - League - Kingstonian (A) W 1-0 - Bolger

08.09.12 - League - Arlesey (H) W 2-0 - Murray, McEnteggart

15.09.12 - FA Cup 1st Qual - Eccleshill (H) W 3-1 - McCoy, Dunne, Mooney

18.09.12 - League - East Thurrock (A) W 3-0 - Bolger, McEnteggart(2)

22.09.12 - League - Billericay (H) W 4-0 - Hysky(3), McEnteggart

29.09.12 - FAT 1st Qual - New Mills (A) W 3-1 - Gahan, Dunne, Gac

03.10.12 - FA Cup 2nd Qual - Scarborough Ath (H) W 4-0 - O.G, Varey, Lee(2)

06.10.12 - League - Wealdstone (A) W 3-0 - Lee, Walsh, McEnteggart

09.10.12 - League - Lowesoft (A) W 1-0 - Sweeney

[Jibby123]

I think you're doing really well here. Stick with the character-style mistahc, it's harder work as 10-3 explains but to me (and I am no expert ) without characters it's not a story, just an FM update of a save, so more challenging but more interesting. The world really is your oyster to develop a story and you wangle in humour well with it, or my kind anyway*.

*Disclaimer.

[mistahc]

Merry Christmas everyone, I'm off to Thailand tomorrow for a few weeks so I'll pick up the story on my return.

edit - while away I didn't have a written copy of the story but my mind had the time to mentally write. I have expanded on the first season and added content if anyone is interested.

[mistahc]

Tony was running as fast as his legs could carry him, the branches whipped his face causing welts to appear. He athletically leaped over the fallen tree's that lay in his path, belying his large frame. It was dark, but his instincts were guiding his way through the forest. Suddenly he stopped and took in his surroundings, he heard nothing behind him and he cautiously peaked over his shoulder. The tree's swayed and looked like they were waving back at him. He perceived it as a warning, urging him to continue his escape.

Connor was no longer behind him, his friend was gone. He instinctively went to retrace his steps but stopped himself. He was shattered, his legs ached and he cursed himself for not keeping fit.

He listened intently and closed his eyes to hone his hearing. His heart was pounding and the wind was rustling the trees but nothing else. Something was not right.

He listened to his own breathing, and his cardiac rhythm continued. He suddenly got an eerie feeling he was being watched and he sensed he was not alone.

Then he heard it clearly, a twig snapped. His eyes opened in an instant and he saw movement low in the tree's heading towards him. He spun on his heels and ran again, using his arms to clear a path. He was being hunted.

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Connor and Tony sat in their matching La-Z-boy chairs facing the massive 52 inch wide-screen TV, which had minor damage evident after Tony's failed attempts to get to grips with the newly released FIFA 13. Connor was attached to his recliner and they went way back.

Both were surfing the Internet while sky sports news ran the same story on a loop. It must have been a slow news day as the club got a small mention that the FA Cup 3rd round qualifiers were today, and the tiny giant-killers were in action again. It showed the celebrations at the end of the match against Man Utd, and Connor winced at the goofy expression on his face in the pictures, a mixture of surprise and shock. Even his mum wouldn't frame that.

"We'll have more of the same please Bossman. Chelmsford should be easily dispatched today, and I'd love another big scalp."

"We'll do our best Tone, maybe you could give me some cash to attract players? Chelsea spent £85 million on 7 players in the summer, I'm yet to spend anything as no-one wants to come here as we are semi-pro and have woeful training facilities."

"I've got a date tonight, any chance you can clear out later?" He replied, completely ignoring him. He was so tight his kids were 8 before they found out the gas meter wasn't a piggy bank. Well he didn't have kids but you get the point. He had his own firm and wasn't paying any rent, although he had splashed out on the luxury's with the intention to take them when he left, and now he had the audacity to kick his mate out of his own flat in case he got lucky.

The club made the short trip to Essex to play Chelmsford away in FA Cup, in which bizarrely Delaney was no longer cup-tied for. It was the same day as internationals, and young goalie Madsen was missing as he was playing for Denmark U19 team, which was great experience for the next Peter schmeichel. McCann returned in his absence, with Murray taking the left-back position. It was a case of Chelmsford 1-2 as Bolger and Lee grabbed the goals, replicating the score in Dublin as Ireland lost to Sweden, and in Warsaw where England beat Poland. They would now face Forest Green away in the next round, meaning a nice trip to the Cotswolds for the chairman to see if his ex-wife's fuss about not getting her cottage there was valid.

The next day Connor opened his bedroom door to see a very attractive blond in nothing but one of Tony's huge T-shirts looking in the fridge. She turned round and it was one of 'porks illustrated' cheerleaders who gleefully gave him a hug to his embarrassment. She was complaining of a Champagne hangover. Evidently there was something the chairman was willing to spend his cash on. He watched her make 3 cups of tea and his face dropped when she took them all in to the spare bedroom. He later found two bottles of cheap Spanish Cava in the recycling, and he wondered if he should change his name to Tight Tony, but he admired his knack of looking far more generous than he was.

On the Monday over a take away diner Tony dropped a bombshell.

"I've been thinking about what you said. We can't go Pro yet, it's not on the table, neither is cash for players. You are correct, you have not spent anything on signings but no-one has been sold for profit either. Only three of the first team squad are on non-contracts and Rubbins, Hysky and Delaney are all earning £575 per week now, those are professional salaries and they don't need other jobs. Did you know Harry quit his day job in the supermarket in the summer? But you are right about the awful training facilities. So, plans are in place to upgrade them; construction work will begin at the end of the season and are scheduled to be completed by 10.10.13. No longer we'll be training in the local park, now we'll have a proper complex."

Connor sat there open mouthed, and a bit of chicken madras fell onto his teddy bear onsie his mum bought him for on her last visit. The saffron would never come out, so luckily it was only something his flatmate was subjected to. Tony continued.

"Listen though, this is going to cost the club £1.1 million, so it is only on the condition we get promoted and get to the 3rd round of the FA Cup again. We're on track so I'm okay about it as the club is now valued at £925K so we could take out a loan if required. As for players, you have no cash available but still have £6k a week available for wages. To put it into perspective for you, our salary per annum sits at £216K. Dover are second on £185K and they were relegated last year. The third is Billericay on half that even. We've got £1.2 million in the bank and I've allocated that for the new training camp, but with our finances we have to be promoted or we'll be the next Darlington. Understand?"

And Connor did, and he shut up after that as it was clear that Tony was a superb business man and didn't talk about money to not have conversations like this. Football was still business and it was still Tony's club, and teams with a far longer history than them were folding each season. He had put his faith in his friend to manage the team, but failure would not be tolerated as it could spell the end of the club. This was not a game, that had changed with the performances last season. The club was no longer a play thing for his chairman, who now genuinely was putting everything into getting the club into league football. Connor felt the stress in his shoulders and he digested the information with what was left of his curry, which now tasted a bit like humble pie.

"look on the bright side though" The chairman finished "We both get an office there, and I can build a Trophy cabinet for our cups at last"

In the Alan Boon Cup, goals from Lee and Varley completed a 2-0 away win over Walton Casuals. Significantly this was their 24th competitive win in a row, a new club record. The record alone was enough to curse the team who struggled to overcome Maldon & Tiptree in their next league game despite being heavy favourites, Bolger and McEnteggart scoring very late goals to mask a poor league performance. In a twist of fate, the club would also be the opponents in the third round of the Alan Boon Cup.

Connor also thought they struggled in the 1-0 home victory over Aveley, who they beat in the final of the Alan Boon Cup the previous year. Hysky continuing the tradition of free-kick scoring centre-backs, started by Reay by driving one in from distance. The report called it a vintage display, but only 3 of the 19 shots were on target. Despite the incredible league record of won ten out of ten, scoring 22 and conceding none, Connor felt the team were still not gelling, and they seemed to be suffering from being the clear favourites in each match.

They had a chance to show what they could do in the FA Trophy 2nd Qualifying round against Grantham away, and duly won 2-0.

Next up was Blue Square Premier side Forest Green away, with the winner to play League 2 Bradford at home in the 1st round. On the trip up there, Tony agreed, it was a nice part of the world, but he still would have chosen his current life as a football chairman, dating a cheerleader who exhausted him so much he need two cups of tea in the morning.

The team played at The New Lawn and had been in the Blue Square Premier League since 1999, the longest of all the teams currently in the league. It was an easy 3-0 win, with a Bolger double. Bradford at home awaited in the next round, who were 17th in League Two. It said a lot about the team progress that this was one they expected to win.

13.10.12 - FA Cup 3rd qual - Chelmsford(A) W 2-1 - Bolger, Lee

16.10.12 - Alan Boon Cup 2nd Rnd - Walton Casuals (A) W 2-0 - Lee, Vardey

20.10.12 - League - Maldon & Tiptree (H) W 2-0 - Bolger, McEnteggart

24.10.12 - League - Aveley (H) W 1-0 - Hysky

27.10.12 - FAT 2nd Qual - Grantham (A) W 2-0 - Varley, McEnteggart

31.10.12 - FA Cup 4th Qual - Forest Green (A) W 3-0 - Bolger(2), Rubbins

[Jibby123]

Merry Christmas everyone, I'm off to Thailand tomorrow for a few weeks so I'll pick up the story on my return.

edit - while away I didn't have a written copy of the story but my mind had the time to mentally write. I have expanded on the first season and added content if anyone is interested.

Sometimes the best way to develop the plot??....seems to be. Really promising mistahc. Hoping you stick with this story.

[mistahc]

His legs felt like lead and he willed them to respond to the brain's master commands. His pursuer was gaining on him utilizing the knowledge of the surrounds, stealthily closing in on his prey. Tony's heavy legs and clumsy approach slowed him down his route through the undergrowth. He blindly crashed his way through a bush and suddenly his legs were treading thin air and he was falling.

The water broke his fall but his was surrounded by darkness and the water consumed him. He thrashed his arms about wildly and for a second his mouth found air and he gred

edily sucked it up. Then he was under again., and the black was everywhere. He tasted salt and knew he was in the sea.

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In the Thursday training Michael Reay gathered everyone together.

"Guys, pinch punch it's the first of the month" The entire room laid into each other, the chairman the clear winner, and some of the younger players clear losers and rubbing their arms gingerly forcing back the tears. In the new PC world it could have been considered bullying in the workplace, in the old days it was called horse-play. Not that horses could pinch anyone, they'd have to rub their hooves or something.

"Come on, this is serious" he continued "It's November the first and I want you all to join me to do Movember, as you all know it's to raise awareness for testicular cancer and funds for cancer research. I thought we could all do it and get sponsorship through our day jobs. It's a subject close to my .... errr.... pants, as it almost took my life this year".

Someone started whistling Colonel Bogey, not through disrespect, but some people have a hard time showing emotion to their fellow men, where a playful punch on the arm is the equivalent of a big hug. Reay was highly respected and well liked, and everyone of them would do exactly what he wanted. Growing a mustache would be fun, and such footballing icons like Michael Owen and the Match of the Day presenting team would also follow suit.

The confidence and winning streak grew with the fabulous moustachery efforts in the league wins over Tooting and Dover. Bolger, Lee and McEnteggart were beginning to cement a very strong striking partnership, scoring 10, 8, 8 respectively and a combined 26 goals. 2nd placed Kingstonian however had scored more, with Bobby Traynor on 17 for the season.

A near-reserve team travelled to Stafford for the FA Trophy, where Stan Collymore started his career, with the Colombian/Irish strike force netting in the 2-1 win to set up a fixture against Bury Town. As this was the same day as the FA Cup, the club knew if they beat Bradford they would get a home draw versus Shrewsbury or Hinckley.

To complete the 6th away game in a row, it was a short trip to Kent where Bolger and Lee kept up their goalscoring form in the 3-1 win.

The players had a rarity, a weekend off. Some players took the opportunity to take their partners away to make up for sporting itchy fur ball faces. As it was internationals there was no Brighton game to go to. Connor was upset by that as their big neighbours had not won in 8 games and had slipped to 20th in the Championship, so he would have gone to support his friend Gus Poyet. There were no clubs playing close enough of interest, so Connor and Tony had a Playstation day, followed by watching the international friendlies, and invited the coaching staff round to double it up as the monthly meeting. They plumped for watching England beat Algeria, and Connor wanted to see the Ireland highlights of their win against Egypt. While he tried to find them on the internet, he stumbled across the Mozambique game, in which they lost. Their goal was a beauty though, scored by a 35 year old Dário, and his assistant checked him out.

"He's almost a free agent. I recommend him boss, I think he'll do well for us"

"Really? But Bolger and Lee are on fire together, they have a great understanding. And this guy is 35. As cover we have Zapata-Caicedo, Gahan, Sweeney, McCoy, Mooney, Doherty, Lammy, Benjamin, and Hancock. Do we need another striker? Really?"

"On a free boss. Free! And he'd be great for the youngsters. He's just scored against the Ivory Coast. Lee is probably knocking back multiple pints of Guinness about now."

It was his achilles heel, the lure of the free transfer. He signed so many players he could make Harry Redknapp blush. He looked at his chairman who just shrugged. The worse thing worse he had nothing to lose, it was a win/win situation. So he took the punt, not looking forward to dropping either of his free scoring Irish forwards.

After nearly a full month it was finally a home game, with Maldon & Tiptree visiting for the Alan Boon Cup. Madsen was away with the Danish U21's, so McCann played a rare game. Connor intoruced his new signing in the early training session, who would join them officially on December the 1st. He was a lovely bloke and clearly stood out in training as the best player on the pitch. He was the first current full international to play for the club, with Madsen, Gac and Hysky representing the U21's. Benjamin had two caps for Jamaica, ten years earlier. Dário had scored 15 goals in 65 international appearances, and had over 100 league goals in Portugal. He was mustard. He was gravy. He was the best player to ever play for the club. And he was the flair signing Connor had dreamed of.

Lee was obviously keen to impress and had a rub of the green. In the 3rd minute Devlin crossed and the centre-back beat the ball away, only for Lee to fly in and divert it in off his face. It was the start of a remarkable goal scoring feat as he smashed in 5 in the 6-1 win. He clearly was keen to show he was the Preston Park Celtic scoring legend. He followed that up with another in the 3-1 Victory in the FA Trophy against Bury Town to show he was not giving up his place lightly.

Wednesday night was first round FA Cup action, and the hairy faces of the team ran out like a Liverpool team of the 80's. The cheerleaders did a guard of honour with their fake mo's on, and Tony grabbed the mike to encourage the 1058 crowd to dig deep and set a firm example by donating the gate receipts. He sent out Porks illustrated in low cut tops in the rain with buckets and copies of their 2013 calender to squeeze as much out of anyone who had anything. The sight of the girls shivering with the rain drops glistening got the desired effect, although a few did catch a cold.

Bradford were in trouble, their first choice strike pairing were both absent, and the home team had their first choice strike force, so hot they were steaming in the rain. So it was inevitable that it would be 0-0 at half-time, it always seemed to in the big cup games. Full of desire, David Lee (sporting a handle-bar tash similar to that sported by Dave Lee Travis when he was arrested as part of the Savile enquiry a few weeks prior) scored the only goal of the match. It was a triumph on and off the pitch as Reay raised over £10K.

The club would play Shrewsbury just a few days later, who were 20th in League 1, for a place in the third round.

03.11.12 - League - Tooting & Mitcham (A) W 3-2 - Dunne, Bolger, Lee

07.11.12 - League - Dover (A) W 3-0 - McEnteggart, Bolger, Lee

10.11.12 - FAT 3rd qual - Stafford (A) W 2-1 - Zapata-Caicedo, Grahan

15.11.12 - League - Cray (A) W 3-1 - Devlin, Bolger, Lee

20.11.12 - Alan Boon Cup 3rd Rnd - Maldon & Tiptree (H) W 6-1 Lee(5), McEnteggart

24.11.12 - FAT 1st Rnd - Bury Town (H) W 3-1 - Hysky, Lee, Rubbins

28.11.12 - FA Cup 1st Rnd - Bradford (H) W 1-0 Lee

[mistahc]

When Saturday came, so did David Lee. Dário's signing was official and the Irishman publicly waxed lyrically about his manager's wheeling and dealing. Lee commented that with club purse strings tighter than ever these days, to sign a player of Dário's quality on a free transfer was a great piece of football management.

He might have only said it to suck up to the manager, but he didn't have to. Since the deal with made in the three games since he had scored 7 while Bolger had none. As it was just a few days after the Bradford game, there was a bit of squad rotation. The TV schedulers were not interested in the team this season, with not a single game to date chosen for live coverage, so the game was a traditional 3pm kick off. Tony had joined him in the bacon sandwiches ritual since moving in, and they travelled to the game together as usual.

"Take it you'll play our new boy today Connor?"

"yeah, why not, can't wait to see him play. He looks the business doesn't he. Fantastic all-rounder and has a brilliant first touch. Did you see him control that long ball by Murray? It was incredible. I'd be silly not to play him, Lee is on fire so he'll play up front too, just in case Dário struggles to settle in English football as he can't speak English. It's a big game boss, we need to win remember."

It was a dry and sunny 8 degrees and the cheerleaders did their thing to get the crowd going. Connor had the team in the dressing room and encouraged his players as normal, and it dawned on him that his new journeyman striker would have no idea what he was on about. He went for a smile, big thumbs up and a pat on the back. He knew the guy could play football, and that was the only language needed on the pitch.

The proof was there in just the 14th minute, Lee stormed down the right wing and played a fast cross into the 6 yard box. Players like Dário Monteiro live of balls like that so gleefully snapped it up and ran towards his new strike partner in celebration. Their joy didn't last long, as Lee was violently taken out and left prone on the floor. Bolger replaced him, but it was Dário was again instrumental in the second. He jinxed his way forward and was brought down outside the box, Lyskov floated it in for Hysky to head it in right before the half-time whistle. Connor rushed straight in to check on Lee's injury, and was relieved when it was just a bruised thigh. They were 2-0 up and sitting pretty, and they just had to hold out.

Not long after the re-start the Shrews pulled one back. They then equalised in the 72nd minute. It was 2-2 and Dário took his frustration out on Lee's challenger to earn a booking. In the 90th the game needed magic to avoid a replay. And it appeared in the boots of the new signing. Lyskov took a short throw in and Dário had the ball all alone on the left wing, with everyone expecting him to waste time by the corner flag. But he instead choose to weave through the defence to lay a perfect ball for Craig Walsh to smash a 20 yarder in. All the players ran to the African and bowed at the feet of the player who had a hand in all three goals on his debut.

Tony turned to Connor and stated he thought he was the best player on the park, belied his increasing years with some delightful touches and an impeccably timed goal, the threat the journeyman striker posed with his passing ability constantly unsettled the opposition defence. He said he was worth every penny, which was lucky as he was on £675 a week. Their place in the 3rd Round was assured, but this year they were yesterdays news, and no TV camera's recorded them watching the draw which had 4 Blue Square Premier sides also representing non-league. Regardless, all the players gathered together as it was a big deal to them. Connor half wanted Brighton. They were on a terrible run having not scored for 5 games, and not winning for 11. While he respected and liked the supremo, he also fancied they could get revenge for the 7-0 thrashing. But they didn't. Almost laughably they drew Liverpool away again. This was an interesting prospect, as they had a better team this time, and if they played the reserves again and his side was on form, Connor could smell a Cupset in the air. The players were delighted as it was mostly a different bunch of players, and they missed the chance last year. Tony was delighted about the gate receipts and hoped it was on TV, it was more about the money than the occasion for him due to his large commitment on the training facilities.

The problem with the glamour of the FA Cup against one of the top club sides in the world, was that the Ryman Isthmian Premier League was the exact opposite, and as about as exciting as the stationary Ryman mass-produced. No-one knew the teams or players unless a fan of grass-root football, and it barely registered on the scale in the sports world. Sometimes Connor wished his chairman bought a place in League 2 or at least higher up the football pyramid. Especially as now they clearly had the best players in the division and had effectively bought the title already. On the plus side, he delighted in being able to watch Dário for free. 91 souls paid the £6.40 to watch him get his second for the club in the 2-0 League win against Stevenage. He showed incredible composure to finish while surrounded by 3 opposition players. It was worth at least £6.39 if the entrance fee alone.

He fired a blank in the next league game, but Clive Delaney enjoyed his first goal for the club so much he got a second in the 3-0 win against Canvey Island.

Due to the upcoming FA Trophy game against high-flying Blue Square Premier side Ebbsfleet, a reserve team of the old favourites turned over Chatham in the Alan Boon cup 2-0, and Connor wondered if out of thanks he should play them every ABC game.

Ebbsfleet were a different beast. In 2008 they uniquely offered fans a chance to run the club through the share based owners, MyFootballClub.The members annual subscriptions help support the club financially, and give the opportunity to be on the society or club management board, suggest ideas for running the club, and vote on club management issueslike player transfers, kit manufacturer, kit designs, budgets, advertising campaigns, ticket pricing, as well as Player of the Month and Player of the Year. Connor pondered how his fellow Irishman Liam Daish how lasted the near 8 years as manager, the longest in the club history, with that sort of control. Then he considered the fact that his club were also run by fans in himself and Tony. There were so few real fans that they did speak to them and listen to their thoughts and ideas.

Connor was relieved to see Lee had returned to fitness and was pushing for a starting place. Anthony Bolger was only 20, but had not scored in 7 games and it was concerning both of them considering his form was once red-hot. Lee was started in what was now the first choice team GK Madsen, RB Devlin, LB Murray, CB Hysky and Delaney, DMC Hummel, MC Rubbins and Varley, AMC McEnteggart, SC Lee and Dário. They took just 4 minutes to score, with Northern Irishman Andy Nevlin netting past his own keeper. It was made by Kristján Emilsson who only scored one goal in his life, against Preston Park Celtic. The young swede had been released by Liverpool after playing just the one game, and was snapped up on a free by the Kent club. 15 minutes later Rubbins crossed for Lee to head his 17th of the season, in just 16 games. Rubbins was instrumental in the winner too, being fouled for a penalty. In training tests, a youngster called Matt Davis scored 16 out of 20 penalties, Gac 15, Hancock 14, Sweeney, Benjamin and Dário 13. The Mozambican was the only one on the pitch and sent the keeper the wrong way with an excellent finish. The run continued.

01.12.12 - FA Cup 2nd Rnd - Shrewsbury (H) W 3-2 - Dário, Hysky, Walsh.

05.12.12 - League - Leatherhead (H) W 2-0 - O'G, Dário

08.12.12 - League - Canvey Island (A) W 3-0 - Walsh, Delaney(2)

12.12.12 - Alan Boon Cup 4th Rnd - Chatham (H) W 2-0 Dunne, Lammy

15.12.12 - FAT 2nd Rnd - Ebbsfleet (H) W 2-1 Lee, Dário

[mistahc]

Tony's head broke the surface and he breathed in deeply, the beautiful air filling his lungs. His retina's dilated to adjust to the gloomy light and he took in his surroundings, he was in the ocean treading water, the cold bear-hugged him and he shivered uncontrollably. He hoped his friend had no had a similar fate and his eyes welled at the thought of Connor's lack of swimming ability.

He looked up to the small cliff top where he last felt terra firma, and the moon broke through a small gap in the clouds. Then he saw it and was frozen in fear. The pale moon illuminated the hunter as it effortless slipped into the water.

The 15ft saltwater crocodile locked eyes on the target and headed on a collision course.

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Connor sat at his desk over looking the houses lightly covered with snow. For the first time in ages the team had a run of league games until the Liverpool game, so he worked backwards. It was games on the Saturday and mid-week, and if he played the first choice on the weekends, then they should be at peak fitness for the FA Cup match. So he sent out the second choice team strangely reminiscent of the previous seasons heroes. McCann, Zola, Lyskov, Reay, Dunne, Walsh, O'Brien, Mooney, Gac, Bolger, Gahan. Hornchurch's morale was rock-bottom and they shared last place in the league. On paper it should have been a destruction. Top versus Bottom. Top-scorers against a leaky defence. The make-shift Irish strike duo scored one a piece before half-time in a comfortable 2-0 win.

The first choice were fit and raring to go, which was good news as the Saturday saw a quick 9 mile road trip up to Lewes, who were sitting in 2nd place. The Rooks welcomed their local rivals to the Dripping Pan, and Tony hoped he could absorb some of the fans that defected with Brighton's success and subsequent higher prices. These nomadic fans were exactly what the club needed to increase their attendances and build their fan-base. Connor's directive was clear, win big and win fancy. Play the big guns to show these susceptible fans the delights that could be found by following the new club. The Chairman would use osmosis to fill the ground if he had to. The highest attendance of the day saw a stunning display of free-flowing attacking football and a 5-2 away victory, and a few of the 351 heads were turned. It was the perfect Christmas present for Tony, and the first team who could have the festive week off.

The monthly meeting brought a multitude of free signings to Connor's attention, who with 65 players already at his disposal of 15 different nationals, finally decided enough was enough. Only stand out quality players would be brought in from now on as most of the squad were effective as 30 broken lawn-mower engines from Alfie Flowers. He was determined to do a mass clear-out during the summer break as there was growing disenchanted among those not getting game time.

Christmas Day was a strange one for Connor. He awoke to an empty flat as Tony had taken his young girlfriend to the Caribbean, and he relished the opportunity for some peace and quiet. He found a card on the table and opened it. It was from his flat-mate and Chairman, and was a faux message from the Queen with a picture of Tony dressed as her majesty. The message read:

"One is pleased to know that you are celebrating your 100th game in charge of the fabulous Preston Park Celtic. I send my congratulations and best wishes to you on such a special occasion, and look forward to you making it a thousand. On this Centenary Eve, I hope that 2013 is not an annus horribilis for you, but just in case perhaps you should lay off the Colin Murrays. Please find enclosed your well earned present"

Connor whistled as he saw the HMV gift voucher for £10. Mates or not, a gift voucher from a firm about to go under was incredible frugal for someone currently sunning himself abroad. He was so tight his bum squeaked when he walked.

Boxing Day saw his side welcome Hendon to the Withdean. Not even a ton of people turned up to see the second string battle to a dull 1-0 win, a record low of 81 braved the cold. Connor almost fell asleep at one point, deeply hidden in layers to protect himself from the elements, waking up to muted cheers to celebrate O'Brien poking it in. A win was a win however, and he had lost count of how many that was in a row now. They were unstoppable.

Tony arrived back from his holiday full of joy, and his young girlfriend was full of Gloom. She was pregnant. Connor took advantage of his friends great mood and suggested that perhaps it was a sign to invest in youth. Improvement in youth facilities would enable the young talent to reach their potential. Tony disagreed, feeling the facilities were good enough. Connor took a tact he knew the Chairman would respond to. Money. He argued the financial benefits would help the club grow. Good youth players could be sold for a profit. The Chairman considered it, and decided to grant the request. The decision he later regretted when the quote came in, £1.3 million. This work too would begin at the end of the season and be ready by 10.10.13. The club were developing and Tony greedily dreamed of replicating Wigan's and Wimbledon's meteoric rise up the leagues.

Connor was delighted so decided to have his fix. He went back to the minutes from the monthly meeting and signed two of the recommendations on non-contracts. 20 year old French left-back Jérémy Hélen, and 18 year old Italian D/DMC Giancarlo Gallifuoco. It was two more nationalities to the League of Nations and he was addicted and he knew it, he just loved signing players on free-transfers that he didn't have to pay.

A week later the doctor confirmed it was indigestion rather than pregnancy, and apparently was just the reaction to spicy Jerk chicken. Connor was slightly relieved as his friend still showed no signs of moving out.

As a Celt he enjoyed playing and beating Rangers. Essex club Concord Rangers were the last 'warm up' game before the trip to Merseyside. A solid and professional performance saw Lee's 19th and 20th of the season in the 3-0 win.

Wednesdays game for the FA Cup opponents could not be more polar opposite. Preston Park Celtic sent the reserves up to Waltham, relaxed and on the back of a mammoth winning streak stretching back to the previous season. Liverpool played the first team against their local rivals Everton in a must win game, on the back of 9 games without a win. At the end of the last season, following a finish of 11th, Dalglish was sacked, to be replaced by Arsene Wenger, who was sacked the same day for finishing 12th with Arsenal. Manchester United had kept faith with Sir Alex Ferguson, and were rewarded with 16 wins out of 18, and top spot. Liverpool were rewarded with languishing in 12th, Wenger's job was very insecure, and the Anfield faithful were not happy. The only thing keeping Arsene employed was the fact they inflicted the only league loss to their bitter North-West rivals before their form dipped.

The two new signings were given a run out against the Abbotts, and Connor was determined not to lose to a side who spelt their nickname incorrectly, reserves or not. They scraped a 1-0 win, while Wenger chewed his nails off in a 2-2 draw as Andy Carroll pulled them back from 2-0 down. The tabloids were rife with speculation, with rumours that the Liverpool hierarchy were finally losing patience and a bad result against the non-league club could seal his fate. Liverpool were 1-33 on, and Preston Park were 50-1. Connor was so confident he bet heavily on his side, safe in the knowledge that if the form book was to be believed, his mortgage would be covered for the year.

19.12.12 - League - AFC Hornchurch (A) W 2-0 Gahan, Bolger

22.12.12 - League - Lewes (A) W 5-2 Delaney, Dário, Lee, Hummel, Varley

26.12.12 - League - Hendon (H) W 1-0 - O'Brien

29.12.12 - League - Concord Rangers (H) W 3-0 Lee(2), Varley

01.01.13 - League - Waltham Abbey (A) W 1-0 Walsh

[mistahc]

On the Friday afternoon there was a press conference at the Withdean. Connor and Tony sat side by side, the latter relieved that the game was moved to TV as he had a £2.6 million outlay to cover. The gathered journalists fired questions at Connor.

"Frank from the Pitchero Non-League paper here. You suffered defeat the last time you met Liverpool. How will that affect the team mentally ahead of this game?"

"The team are itching to set the record straight"

"Tim from the Non-League paper. Some people are suggesting that your team could cause a big upset against Liverpool. Do you think you stand a chance in this game?"

"I am always positive and I know we have the quality to upset the odds."

"Tim again. Your Preston Park Celtic team have defied the odds to reach this stage of the FA Cup. Ahead of your clash with Liverpool, how much further do you think you can go?"

"We are going to take it one game at a time and whatever happens happens"

The game was to be a 17:30 Kick-Off, live on ESPN. The coverage was set to record long before the coach set off. It was a 4 hour plus drive so they planned a 9am departure time to keep it relaxed. This year was not a sight-seeing trip or a once in a life-time opportunity to play at a famous ground, the manager had a steely determination to win. He got the mike and on the outskirts of Liverpool as they neared their destination, waking them from naps and pausing various PSP or card games.

"Here we are lads. The city of Liverpool, the birthplace of the Beatles and Steven Gerrard. We are going to a crumbling Fortress. They were once a big team, but we are the young pretenders with fire in our belly's. If they are Goliath, then we have our own David at the ready. Gypsy Lee, slayer of the Red Devils has scored as many this season than Suarez, Asamoah, Carroll, Kuty and Henderson combined. This is not a team to be feared, to be worshipped, or to cause awe. Arsene Wenger right, he's not won sweet FA since 2005. Over 7 years ago. I'm not being funny but he's spent £42 million and not even bought any Frenchmen. He's losing the plot! They played their best players mid-week, we can do this! Right, here we are, off we all get"

The players departed the coach confused. They were in a car park in Stanley Park, the 110 acre Municipal green land between the two Mersey Giants stadiums. They were led over the grass trading each other bewildered looks as normal tradition dictated they sit and watch the early game on ITV, which was Bolton at home to Wolves. Connor had decided to boycott the all-premiership tie on the principle that there were lots of lower league clubs who deserved time in the spot light and a share of the TV revenue. So he decided to get the players to do some light warm ups to the bemusement of the local kids, prompting one to start a conversation in a thick Scouse accent.

"Milk eurghh"

"It's what Ian Rush drinks, and he says if I don't drink enough milk I'll only be good enough to play for Preston Park Celtic"

"Preston Park Celtic, who are they?"

"Exactly!"

Connor had to laugh. He got a few jackets off the coach and made some goalposts, and took turns with Tony to pick 9 each from the starting 11 and subs. Connor had Madsen, Devlin, Delaney, Lyskov, Hummel, Varley, Mooney, Zapata, Lee. Tony took McCann, Hysky, Murray, Dunne, Rubbins, McEnteggart, Walsh, Bolger and Dário. They had a relaxed and very enjoyable 13-11 game, laughing as they ran rings round the ever growing Chairman. Dário turned his manager inside out so many times he fell to the floor in a tangle of his own legs. The African polished the gaffer's bald spot to show that you didn't need language skills to join in friendly banter. The laughter continued until they returned to the coach and found the wheels had been nicked. Tony opened the coach doors to see the driver had slept through the whole thing so they all pretended nothing happened and got on the coach and requested he take them to the ground. Riotous laughter greeted the sight of the disheveled and confused chauffeur stepping off to see why the coach wasn't moving. It was uncontrollable when he spent 5 minutes looking under the hood, missing the pile of bricks replacing his Goodyears..

In the stadium they had a good half hour to get changed and took to the pitch to warm up. Lee, Murray, Hummel, Rubbins and Lee were mentally stronger than the last time and look assured in the warm up. Connor stood with the players and looked at the Kop's banners. The disatisfaction was evident in the displays and he surmised if things didn't go the home sides way, the mood would get ugly. Wenger was never a popular choice with the fans, and this was affecting the players performance. Connor knew his starting 11. GK Madsen, RB Devlin, LB Murray, CB Hysky and Delaney, DMC Hummel, MC Varley and Rubbins, AMC McEnteggart, SC Lee and Dário. It now all depended on the team Liverpool would play.

Connor heard the boo's first, and his heart soared at the source of the home supports intense venom. Both Gerrard and Suarez were seen in club suits, so they weren't playing. If they were rested, then it might be a reserve team, a gamble regardless of the obscure reputation of the visitors. The Liverpool team came out to do their warm-ups and Connor ticked off the big names. Jamie Carragher was instantly recognisable, the Liverpool legend had 38 England caps and had just shy of 500 league games under his belt. A great reader of the game but just a few weeks older than Connor at nearly 35, and about as fast. He didn't need it though, as he had the 6ft 5 inch Coates alongside him, not the only South American international as he was joined by Doni in goal and Maxi Rodriguez on right wing. Talented youth completed the team in Kelly, Robinson, Shelvey, Henderson, McLaughlin, Sterling and Pacheco up front. This was a skillful unit, trained in the Liverpool passing game.

The teams lined up waiting to go on the pitch. Carragher stood shoulder to shoulder with Colin Murray. The light came on to signal the players needed to head to the pitch, and they streamed on prompting roars of encouragement from the 38617 crowd. In the arena the athletes continued warming up with stretches and jumps. Connor took his seat and glanced over to his French counterpart and mentally repeated the mantra he fed to his gladiators in the dressing room to fire them up "no retreat, no surrender". He was going for the jugular, he wanted to win. There was no respect this time round; he saw a wounded animal and he was going in for the kill.

Gerry started up his opening line, "When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high". The crowd sang along, lacking the passion of the infamous European nights, perhaps they had lost the heart to sing? Was the Mersey heart-beat fading? Was this giant up for the slaying? Gerry continued "Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain" It was apt, it was windy and the rain poured down.

Connor just felt it in his bones something special would happen. He was certain the form would continue and this would be his crowning glory and a major scalp. He pumped his fists, and his eyes and veins bulged with adrenaline as he roared his battle cry to spur his players on.

The whistle blew to start the game, the crowd shook the rafters with their childish demand for glory. Someone in the crowd unfurled a big banner the Liverpool Supremo famously later said he didn't see. It simply read "Au revoir Arsene".

Then the incredible happened, a rarely seen event in the world of football, and something people would talk about for years to come and say "I was there". In the following days those reading the reports would double-take on reading the news, convinced a typo was made or it was April the first. It was a such a long shot the odds were 50-1 due to the low chance of it happening.....

[tenthreeleader]

Good post, you build drama well. You asked for constructive criticism so I do have a few items:

1) One idea, one paragraph. Large blocks of copy can be intimidating for the casual reader.

2) You do well with characterization. Especially for a first effort, this is nice work.

3) You write dialogue well too, but remember point one. It's easier to read that way.

4) Watch punctuation. It distracts when it's wrong and adds when it's right.

Keep it up!

[mistahc]

Good post, you build drama well. You asked for constructive criticism so I do have a few items:

1) One idea, one paragraph. Large blocks of copy can be intimidating for the casual reader.

2) You do well with characterization. Especially for a first effort, this is nice work.

3) You write dialogue well too, but remember point one. It's easier to read that way.

4) Watch punctuation. It distracts when it's wrong and adds when it's right.

Keep it up!

Thanks for the kind words 3-10, I started as a little hobby but recently made a mistake in reading some other stories, and as they are so good I felt quite inferior. That, combined with the fact I was bored of my team winning all the time, caused a little mental block. On the plus side, I originally was going to write the story with the manager struggling with alcoholism but thought it not kid-friendly. On reading some of the darker efforts I might go back to the original idea. In hindsight I wish I just did it all on notepad to avoid re-writing posted stuff, but the football content will always be the same I guess, the rest is just the story.

[mistahc]

Jamie Carragher’s face was one of shock as the ball flew into the top corner. He then turned and ran towards the Kop, his body uncoordinated in his wild celebrations, and limbs flailing. The problem with scoring on average once every four seasons, is that when it finally happens you don't know how to react other than instinctive celebrations. The Liverpool Legend was as shocked as the crowd that he had given his club the lead, and had not even pre-determined any sort of routine. As he slid on his knees in front of the jubilant supporters, the crowd started up a chant of “we all dream of a team of Carraghers” (to the tune of Yellow Submarine), and the entire team, subs and (from the stands) a suited Steve Gerrard leap on top of him in a mass bundle. Connor even had the urge to join in, the Liverpool stalwart was a shining example of rarely seen loyalty in football, playing for just the one club in his career, making his debut 16 years prior, and playing over 700 games for the club.

He had help in getting his rare glory, greedily exploiting the lack of organisation in the Celtic defence who had no set defensive routine. Arsene Wenger had done his homework and knew the part-timers used zonal marking, so directed his captain to exploit the lack of aerial threat in the area Harry Rubbins covered. While 5ft 11, the youngster had little spring in his jump and was a poor header of the ball, and the part-timers tactical naviety was exposed as all eyes would be on the giant Coates in trying to defend their lines. At 2 inches taller the Liverpool man jumped well above him to plant Shelvey's far post corner on the square of his fore-head, directing it past the stranded keeper.

The part-timers had started well and Delaney had missed a clear chance as early as the 4th minute as he headed a free-kick over. The reds then took over and made young Madsen work hard in goal, saving from Pacheco, Sterling, Rodriguez, and Kelly, the latest effort forcing a corner in the 34th minute. Shelvey dropped it into the near post for Carragher to head over under pressure from Delaney. The Liverpool pressure continued until McEnteggart headed a free kick behind for another corner. Carragher changed his tact and went to the other post to reap the rewards to get his rare goal.

The game continued in favour of the favourites, who were brimming with confidence now. Further chances for Sterling, Rodriquez and Robinson in the remaining minutes meant the half time whistle was as welcome as the ringing of a bell in a one-sided boxing match. This was not going to plan, and as expected. Connor was panicking, the team were not playing well and he didn't know why. He was unsure what to do, and following his assistant's lead encouraged them team and told them the pressure was all on the Premier League side. He wasn't sure but he couldn't see the belief in the eyes of his team any more, and Dário actually looked angry at the words and body language of encouragement.

He blew the air out of his cheeks as he took his seat. Arsene was joking with his assistant Steve Clarke and now was relaxed. He obviously didn't expect a come-back from the minnows, and Connor was determined to prove him wrong.

The game was slow and controlled, and at last in the 59th minute there was a chance when Devlin forced his way down the wing until Robinson cleaning disposed him and the ball trickled out for a corner. A chance. Connor motioned for Hysky and Delaney to go forward. Rubbins hit a great cross in and a mass of bodies rose to meet it as breathes were held.

Bang, Carragher's head met it with power and it was cleared. Chance gone.

Connor bit his nails and paced his technical area. He watched between his fingers as Henderson broke away and put a good chance wide, and turned his back when a free-kick was sent over for Carragher to head over. Another corner for the home side saw Murray get there first, and the clock was ticking. All they needed was a good break opportunity as Lee and Dário hung around the centre circle like a school disco just waiting for a chance while the defence had all the play. Another corner, Hysky got up to clear, and the ball dropped to Rubbins who played it forward to Dário who was alone up front, with just the young full-backs in the vicinity for a break, the chance was on.

Connor couldn't work out why the crowd were cheering and looked back down the pitch, he held his head in disbelief as the ref was holding his hands behind his back as Murray, Hysky and Delaney all remonstrated with him. Lee and Pacheco were having an argument beyond them, and Carragher was intervening to calm things down. Then it was clear, the ref was pointing at the spot, and Lee seemed to be indicating to Pacheco that he felt he went down to win the penalty.

"What was that for Arsene? I didn't see it" Connor genuinely asked, clearly confused as the clearing header looked clean. The usually mild-mannered Frenchman responded angrily at what he perceived as a slur and was in his counterparts face screaming so much, spit sprayed majestically.

"Your players seem to want to kick mine and stop us playing our game. It's a disgrace. I'd rather play Stoke"

Connor subtly wiped a bit of saliva from his cheek to not embarrass the IFA's World Coach of Decade, the usual reaction of when someone accidentally gobs on you. He held his palms up to try and defuse the situation and walked backwards. Wenger was led away in the opposite direction.

It was all going horribly wrong for the non-leaguers and for the manager who had confidently bet big on his team to win, but perhaps they still had a chance. It appeared that Captain Carragher was holding the ball, indicating that he was going to take it. The ref finally managed to gain control and play could resume.

Carragher placed the ball in silence, and walked backwards 5 steps. Madsen tried to stare him out, but no eye contact was made as the Bootle man looked at the Anfield turf. The Dane quickly guessed he was going for power over precision, and the run up was under way. He dived at full length to his left, palms out-stretched ready to finger tip the ball away.

Unfortunately the ball went directly down the middle where the keeper's aura still remained. Jamie Carragher had scored again, 2-0, and with only 10 minutes to play. It was game over, but to their credit the amateurs kept going.

There was still time to Hysky to make an impact, on Carroll's leg and getting a yellow. Delaney wasted another chance from a set-piece, and later Rubbins smashed a long drive well over. Time was ticking away, and in hindsight Connor wished the whistle just went then.

The game was not over in the 92nd minute as the losing team continued to battle away. Dário kept running, his legs and engine defying his 35 year old age. He turned Carragher inside out to fire over, and then released Lee for a last gasp chance. Coates slid in for a perfect challenge and Robinson hoofed it to safety. Connor looked at his watch, time was done, and so were his players who looked knackered. His top goal-scorer was so tired he was still on the floor as the ball bounced into his keepers arms and he knew the whistle would go any minute. Madsen kicked the ball out to let Lee have some treatment, but Atkinson had enough as called time on the game. Two goal hero Jamie Carragher was the happiest man in the ground, fully deserving his man of the match award.

Connor was lugubrious as he sat in the press conference awaiting questions. He was gutted that his team didn't show any desire to win, and to top it off Lee had limped off with a twisted ankle and was out for 6 weeks. He wasn't in the mood for talking, let alone in front of the World's media. The questions started from BBC's 5 Live reporter.

"Defeat for your side today sends you out of the competition - Just how disappointed are you?"

Connor wanted to say he was really disappointed, as he expected to win despite their lowly stature and that he felt let down by his players who didn't seem to give it a real go, but he knew he had to be diplomatic. "I am not too upset, as success in this competition was never on the cards"

They followed it up - "Preston Park Celtic's dream run is over, ending in defeat to Liverpool today. What are your immediate thoughts post-match?"

Connor quietly scoffed at the question, what exactly did they expect him to say? He continued with the faux positive attitude to mask his dark mood and bitterness "Everyone associated with the team can be proud of how we played today and throughout this run." He meant the last part.

Sky Sports News cut in "Jamie Carragher had a great game today for Liverpool, picking up the man of the match award. What did you make of his performance?"

That was an easy question to answer "Jamie was really impressive today, it had to be said" he answered truthfully, "I've also been a big fan of his as he's pretty much the same age as me, and I was a bit of a Liverpool fan back in Ireland. I also played as right-back and central defender too, so it was easy to model my game on him. He's a true professional and even as a born and bred Evertonian, his loyalty to Liverpool has been superb and he's been a tremendous servant. You don't get many one club players, so kudos to him and Steven Gerrard for showing it's not always about the money".

The Liverpool Echo then asked a few questions about Dário, and Goal.com questioned the unsettled players in the reserves and about Lee's mental state after conceding the penalty. Connor was tiring of the inquisition and was on the verge of storming out when at last the questions ended and Wenger instead got the grilling over Luis Suarez's imminent move to Barcelona. Connor was able to get away and slunk out the side door.

As he headed to the coach, a stall was closing up. He had to be impressed that someone had managed to make t-shirts saying "I was there when Carra scored twice" in time sell them as the crowds dispersed.

He slipped onto the waiting bus, now with brand new wheels. The mood was sombre and as it was quiet he able to make his way to the back seat, ignoring his chairman's attempt to get his attention. He lay with his eyes closed on the long journey back. He couldn't sleep, but he didn't want to be disturbed so he faked it to avoid conversation. He gently caressed his cheeks and stroked the hairs against the grain, his stomach yearned for a drink and his swallowed hard. The demons were back and he needed to be alone with them.

05.01.13 - FA Cup 3rd Rnd - Liverpool (A) L 0-2

[mistahc]

Connor was alone in the darkness again, still trapped in the watery tomb. His throat burned with trapped air and his ears were pounding. His heart was beating against his chest like a drum beat and it complimented the hiss and gurgle of the water around him. He felt like his lungs were about to burst and could not hold on any longer, he opened his mouth to scream and the water rushed in eagerly, filling the back of his throat and his body relaxed.

He was released and floated freely in a death-like state and his final thoughts drifted to the image of a beautiful woman on a picnic blanket, the sunshine obscuring her appearance.

This thought of love and life spurred what was left of his concious to make a last attempt at survival. He made a crucial choice and used the last of his energy to propelled himself into the direction of a shape he saw in the darkness. He had to rely on momentum to do the rest, and he hoped he was floating to safety.

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Connor woke at 4am in a panic, tangled up in cold sweat-soaked sheets. His eye's adjusted to the light and he remembered where he was, and his heart-beat slowed it's frantic pace as he relaxed. He reached for a half finished Jack Daniels and Coke and drained it, feeling comfort once again despite it's warm and sticky composition. He got up and changed the sheets and covers on the bed, the actions stirring his body and brain into life.

He lay in bed wide awake, shamed by his actions on the coach and afterwards. His players needed encouraging but he chose to hide instead. He was worried about the club, Tony had committed to spending £2.6 million on facilities at his request, and promotion and a cup win was essential to provide long-term stability for the club. Failure to do so would ruin the lives of everyone, and they all had more faith in him than he did in himself. He played with the huge figure in his head, trying not to think of the amount of food it could provide for the starving masses of the world, or the hospitals it could fund. He wondered who thought that football was more deserving than those dying on the planet.

He tried to clear his mind of all negative thoughts, and in failing to do so, got up to search for a distraction. He stumbled through the dark to find where he had left the bottle of JD, and it was sitting near empty by his chair. Unconvinced by the volume remaining he looked through the cupboards. Gin, no thanks, he had his poison and he stuck to it. He searched further and found a duty free bag that felt square and he breathed a sigh of relief. It had the weight and feel of a litre of bourbon, and he hugged it close. "My precious".

He took it to bed with him and it joined him in the solitude, a companion in the darkness. He gradually dozed off in a bourbon induced coma, with the demons lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce.

[mistahc]

His legs were free and kicking for freedom, but he didn't seem to be moving. The darkness continued to surround him and the claustrophobia and the panic reappeared with a vegance.

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The following days were a haze to Connor and he couldn't recall the training session before the next game. The Met Police were visiting in the league, and as they were struggling in 18th place, they weren't expected to get a sniff.

Connor found himself at the ground and his assistant passed him a coffee to warm him in the cold. It was a good job Alan didn't work in a café as it was far too strong, but it's warmth flowed through his body nicely. He stood in front of an expectant squad and they stared at him until Hysky broke the silence.

"Bossman? You okay? You don't look too good?"

Connor's pale face blanched and he opened his mouth to speak but his assistant Alan cut in.

"He's just a bit under the weather. I'll take over boss, you just take a seat. Right, Walsh, Hélan, Bolger? You are in for Murray, Hummel and Lee. Let's go and show these boys what we can do."

Connor mumbled something inaudible about winning mentality and that the team must win, but mentally disappeared. The players ran onto the pitch into the reality of their existence. A few days earlier, 8 of the team started at Premier League stadium Anfield in front of 38'627 fans. They were now back at their converted athletics stadium jogging out in the pouring rain with just 86 people watching.

The team played average but still created 16 chances. Therefore it was daylight robbery that the opposition scored on their only opportunity and won 1-0 to inflict the clubs first league loss in their adventures. It was such a smash and grab raid that if there wasn't 11 coppers on the field the police surely would have been called.

Connor was numb, not surprising in the cold, and Tony took him home. They sat and talked through the night, and spent a bit of time on the fans internet board who reported that Noel Varney had been offered a contract by League 2 Cheltenham. He had played 26 games from 37 already this season, scoring 6 goals. He loss would be massive, but that was the danager of non-contracts.

Tony read the reviews of the match to his flat-mate who despite his glazed expression took the words in. Experts said that despite their resilience, there was the general feeling that the bubble may burst after this recent defeat.

Connor mumbled something about Pavarotti's dogs, whistled for a bit, then sipped his drink. Tony could only guess where his mind and gaze were, but it sure wasn't in the room. He covered his friend in a warm blanket and left him to his thoughts, collecting the vast amount of recycling before retiring to bed.

09.01.13 - League - Met Police (H) L 0-1

[mistahc]

"Lungs bursting, must breath, must find surface. I'm drowning, I'm drowning. Save me. Please save me, I beg you"

The shape heard the plea and opened it's reach in anticipation.

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Connor woke with a start and looked around. The clock radio displayed a 00:00 and there must have been a power cut. He searched for his phone and it was no-where to be found, the only clue of the time was that it was the day light out streamed through a gap in the curtains. His head was throbbing and his mouth was dry. He saw a pint of water and gulped it thirstily, it tasted like it had reverse Oxygenated, and he wondered how long it had been there for.

He stumbled to the kitchen and open the fridge door and pulled out the milk. He sniffed it and it was off, and he cursed Tony for having his coffee black. It was disposed off at a cost, the smell making him retch and the washing up bowl was filled with the contents of his stomach. He examined what he had been living on recently, and guessed nothing healthy. Looking at the rubbish and the recycling it was evidently takeaways and alcohol. He counted the empty bottles and laughed at the vague recollection of drinking with Tony, they had certainly got through a lot together.

He went into the living room and put the TV on. Homes under the hammer was on, and he correctly surmised it was around 10am. Tony would be at work, and he praised his friend on his ability to function after the amount of alcohol they had obviously consumed. He went back to the fridge, his head now a bit clearer and thinking with his stomach and he examined the contents. There were five bags of the salad that comes with a curry, some cheese that was inedible and hard, and a bottle of ketchup. The thought of going to the shops gave him a mild panic attack. It took him 20 minutes to get the courage to go, and he wore a hoodie tight round his head to give some invisible protection. He breathed deep and went for it, the need for bread, bacon, tea-bags, milk, alcohol and snack food prevalent.

Sitting comfortably with a pizza cooking in the oven, he eyed the unopened bottle of Jack and decided to wait until after 12pm before he started drinking again. His definition of an alcoholic was one that drank alone, and he knew he wasn't an alkie as he often drunk with his flat-mate. He had a couple before that on special occasions, and he was still a bit down so considered it acceptable. The beep of the oven timer had him on his feet and he rubbed his hands together at the thought of pizza and Trisha and looked at the time. It was only 11:50 but who would know if he slightly cheated on the 12pm rule?

After lunch he checked his emails and finally found his phone under a cushion. Noel Varney had called 8 times so he called him back.

"Boss, thank God. I've been trying to call you for ages, Tony said you were suffering from Man Flu, how you feeling?"

"I'm good Noel, feel fine, not sure what he's on about."

"Oh okay, anyway I've been trying to call you, look Cheltenham have made me an offer. It's good, and I was thinking I'd take it. I felt I owed you by telling you directly. It's a good move for me, and the cash will be handy. I just wanted to thank you for the opportunity as I've loved every minute here. It's a great club, with a great bunch of lads, and you've been brilliant. And I can't tell you how much I loved playing at Anfield, although they were a great team and tough to play against. That Carragher is a legend isn't he, thank God we don't have to play him every week."

They continued the call and had a great chat about what they had achieved in the season, and by the end of it, a slightly intoxicated Connor managed to persuade him to sign a new contract and reject Cheltenham's paid offer. Buoyed with confidence that only the right amount of alcohol can give, he managed to secure the other players worth keeping on contracts to hold the squad together, easily done due to the respect and friendship they had for him. He was adamant, if anyone was going to leave, it would be on his say so only.

Annoyingly Tony had invited his parents around on the Friday, which meant he had to be on his best behaviour as they abhorred alcohol. Over dinner they discussed the game the next day with Hayes & Yeading. It was away in the FA Trophy, and the opponents were in the Blue Square Premier League. Connor had forgot all about it but he said the team he planned on playing, making a few corrections based on information from his chairman that someone obviously forgot to pass on to him this week about fitness and suspensions.

After they left he was confused to find he didn't have any alcohol in the house, which surprised him greatly as he was positive he had some. Annoyed it was too late to buy any locally he went to bed and slept soundly, awaking refreshed and eager to get the short trip to Surrey over with so they could play some football.

Tony made the bacon sarnies and they devoured them over Soccer A.M, which they agreed wasn't as good as it used to be. Although they both admitted that Helen Chamberlain would still get it.

It was raining, so they got the coach driver to pick them up first before heading to the ground where they collected the awaiting players, and they headed off for the cup game. Connor's assistant Alan told him it was nice to have him back, which confused him as he hadn't been away anywhere. He decided that he must have had too many shandy's the night before.

He sent the strongest team out as possible and encouraged them to play to their best. Erik Hummel scored as often as Jamie Carragher, but managed to smash one in to complete the scoring. The team were back to winning ways, and morale was back up. There was some bad news though, as club captain Murray strained his groin and would be out for a month.

12.01.13 - FA Trophy - Hayes & Yeading (A) W 1-0

[mistahc]

Tony had lost sight of his assailant. It was heading towards him but dived when it was in combat range. He frantically looked around for signs of an attack, thrashing the water in his desperation. He felt something brush his leg and screamed as he imagined the giant jaws stretching open the huge reach, ready to clamp down on his limbs and take him under the water.

He looked to the Heavens above and prayed the killer would find another prey and let him live.

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Connor was absent-mindedly looking at BBC football, through routine more than desire. It was Monday and Tony was at his day job. He was bored and considered this his work, to the scurge of any office working football fan who would love his work routine and life-style.

Rochdale of League 1 had snapped up Lauri Dalla Valle on a free. He was once highly-rated when playing for Liverpool, championed as the next Jari Litmanen, his fellow compatriot. Kevin Phillips had signed for Crawley, a coup for the league 2 side despite being 39.

He reviewed available players on a free, and raised eye-brows when he saw Julian Joachim, a player he always used to sign on a version of Championship Manager long ago. He had a good look for old times sake. Jason Pullan had already checked him out and thought he was no-where near David Lee's standard and only the 5th best striker at the club. His over-all recommendation was that at 38, despite his advancing year he would still be a useful signing. Connor didn't agree, he had so many players he could start at least another two clubs.

Training was good-natured and the squad were on good form. Connor was positive about the up-coming League game against Cambridge City, even without top scorer Lee he expected them to turn-over the side in 16th place.

Wednesday night came quickly and Connor played the same team, and noted that Dário was looking sharp. He enforced that as early as the 14th minute, taking a Hélan throw in from the left and crossing in a dangerous ball that Slater could only turn into his own goal. His first was pure magic. Again picking up Hélan's throw on the left, he stuck the ball to his foot to dribble all the way to the 6 yard back on the far right hand side, and buried it deep in the onion bag. He completed a well taken hat-trick to round off a 4-0 win, stating afterwards via an interpreter that it was his managers word after the Liverpool game in the media that had given him the confidence in his abilities.

Morale was peaking once again, and the poor performance at Liverpool was a distant memory. Unfortunately though fatigue was the big issue, so Connor decided to rest his big names and play the following team at home to East Thurrock - Madsen, Wilkinson, Lsykov, Delaney, Dunne, Gallifuoco, O'Brien, Walsh, Mooney, Dário and Gahan.

The team took just 24 seconds to continue the improved form, Mooney burying the first of his two in his Man of the Match performance in a 4-0 win. The first goal was the fastest in Ryman Premier history, but not a club record as David Lee held that honour with 20 seconds.

Lyskov played well to attract attention as he was transfer-listed at his own request at the lack of a new contract offer. Connor was unaware of this and tried to offer a new one but he wasn't interested. As the ex-Chelsea and Reading youngster was now worth £5K, his manager was accepting his departure for the right offer.

The Alan Boon Cup was a money making opportunity the club could not afford to miss. If they won the final, at worst they could melt the cup down and sell it for metal value, while claiming it was stolen in a robbery. So a strong team was played against Merstham in the Quarter-Finals. The club were one of the few to take points of the league winners last year, but were hammered by a Rubbins inspired Celtic's team in a 4-1 home win. Bolger scored his first goal for over a month to hopefully re-start his stalling season.

Bolger's season was confirmed as back on track as he got a goal in the first minute against Billericay in the FA Trophy game. Delaney doubled the lead and sealed the comfortable 2-1 win, with Craig Walsh scoring a last minute own goal. The team were firmly back on track to steam-roll the rest of the season. Connor felt he could take a holiday and come back to see the finish end positively. It was a far cry from his mental state after the FA Cup game when he was convinced he had financially killed the club and everyone associated with it, partly driven by his own losses from his over-confidence betting on his own side.

Everything was going swimmingly for Connor and the club. Or so he thought. His arrogance had stopped him empathising with everyone's position, so he was surprised by yet another discussion about lack of playing time outside of the first team. First season stalwart Stewart D'oh Doherty told him that he saw his future away from the club. The truth was in the AMC position McEnteggart, Mooney, Gahan, and Rubbins were all ahead of him. Connor looked at the players personal file. He was 29, and was a Sunday League footballer before he made the step up with the club. Despite 14 goals in 34 appearances the season before, the coaching staff and the manager didn't think he was good enough for the squad. He would have been cut in the summer, so his transfer request was reluctantly accepted.

Dário scored again in 3-2 win against Arlesey, and again Wenger's position was called into question again. After beating the non-leaguers, they went to Stoke and won 2-1, drew with Cardiff at home then lost to Swansea in a 4-3 thriller away. The press now suspected a poor result against Swansea in the FA Cup was a deciding factor for the managers position.

At the end of the month Tony thanked Connor for his leadership qualities and mentioned that the club made a profit of £567k in the month of January, taking the total coffers to £1.8 million, but 600K short of the money ear-marketed for facilities upgrades. Connor did the maths based on the average turnout of 100 people at home games. £7 a ticket for the 75% that were not season ticket holders. The £500 each home game was nowhere near enough. Prize money and a wembley appearance was their only hope. If not, player sales were an option but no cash bids had been made all season.

A summer clear-out was needed, and Connor decided on an optimum squad size of 33 in the first team and reserves, three for each position. That would surely be enough for the worst injury crisis.

Preston Park Celtic beat Wealdstone 3-1, Lammy scoring on a rare starting opportunity. Wenger lived to fight another day with a 2-1 win in the FA Cup.

Kingstonian, Lowesoft and Bury were also easily dispatched with ease, and they were 34 points clear. Promotion was a formality, increasing the clubs financial security. Cup glory would also be gratefully received, so the FA Trophy Semi-Final was a must-win game.

16.01.13 - League - Cambridge C (H) W 4-0 - O.G, Dário(3)

19.01.13 - League - East Thurrock (H) W 4-0 - Mooney(2), Dário, Walsh

22.01.13 - ABC QF - Merstham (H) W 4-1 - Rubbins(2), Varley, Bolger

26.01.13 - FAT 4th Rnd - Billericay (A) W 2-1 - Bolger, Delaney

30.01.13 - League - Arlesey (A) W 3-2 Dário, O.G, Varley

02.02.13 - League - Wealdstone (H) W 3-1 - Gahan, Hysky, Lammy

06.02.13 - League - Kingstonian (H) W 4-0 - Bolger(2), Dário, Hysky

09.02.13 - League - Lowesoft (A) W 3-0 - Dário, Delaney, Hysky

13.02.13 - League - Bury Town (H) W 2-0 Dunne, Gahan

[mistahc]

Tony was treading water, the killer Croc had been gone for at least 30 seconds but he felt his presence close. He was terrified and contemplated swimming for safety. He considered his options, and thought that perhaps his lack of movement was hiding him in the motion of the waves. If he made a break for it he might draw attention to himself. His teeth chattered in the cold water, and he wept uncontrollably through fear, waiting for the animal to grab him and pull him under.

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Tony woke with a start. He sat up in bed, and looked at the clock, it was 4:15am They were being burgled, and he could hear the flat was being noisily ransacked. He picked up the nearest weapon he could find, edging closer to the hall holding his girlfriends hair-straighteners, unaware that the sight of him naked would have made most people run. He slowly opened the door and heard Connor talking to himself. He released a deep breath that he was unaware he was holding. Connor was on the hunt for alcohol again, so it was best to leave him to it.

Tony first met Connor about 5 years ago now, he saw him in the pub near where he used to play football. He was at the bar chatting up the barmaid when he caught sight of a tall, slim dark haired bloke in the corner. There was something about him that made him feel uneasy, I mean who drinks in a pub alone anyway? They accidentally made eye-contact and both quickly looked away, Tony taking refuge in the staff's ample cleavage. He was lost in lust until he heard a crash to his left.

On a trip to the bar, the loner had taken it literally and fallen over. Ever the gentleman, Tony pulled him to his feet and found himself face to face with the man, who was a good 5 inches shorter and about 15 inches thinner. From his vantage point he was certain of some receding in the close cropped hair.

"You alright fella? Watch out for that dodgy floorboard eh"

He was sure the mumbled response had a bit of an accent, but he couldn't quite place it. The bloke had obviously hurt his knee so he moved his chair across for him to sit on, and that was the touch-paper for a short conversation.

He found that he really liked him, and they had a good chat about football, life, work and women. By the end he knew him like an old friend, an expert about his love of football, the job he hated, problems he was having with his girlfriend, and his alcoholic father back in Ireland that he swore to never be like.

He was delighted when he saw him a few nights later and got very offended when he ignored him like he didn't know him.

He wrote him off as pretentious and didn't think nothing of it until he turned up to football training a few weeks later, when he was ignored again. He resisted the temptation to give him a slap for being rude, but his blood was boiling. He had a short-fuse when it came to rudeness.

To compound matters he had to play alongside him, and to his disgust found they were a near-perfect combination, almost like they had a telepathic link. The guy was a great defensive player with an unusual ability to tackle within a tackle, within a tackle. An interception if you wish.

After training, Tony was doing warm-downs when his new defensive partner came up awkwardly and offered his hand.

"Hi, uummm, my name is Connor. I was ....ummmmm..... going to do for a drink and ........ errrrrrmmm........ wondered if you........... sorry, nothing, forget it" He tried to walk off but Tony held a firm grip, seconds away from spreading his nose across his face.

"You WHAT?" He said aggressively, pulling himself up and putting his nose inches from his opponent, his eyes flickered as he got a whiff of stale Bourbon. "What the....?"

"I said, do you fancy coming for a drink?" Connor completed, oblivious of the aggressive nature of his new found friend.

It dawned on Tony that this bloke had clearly not remembered any of the last meeting, so went for a drink and held his smile through the same stories and the carbon copy opening up. The friendship was born.

Over the years they became closer on the pitch and off it, bonding over a love of football and barmaids with big boobs. It only took him a few minutes to realise he liked a drink, it wasn't until he lived with him that he realised he was a full blown alcoholic.