Greasy Chip Butty

SPORTS.tv presents: Top2Bottom (FM11)

271 posts in this topic

Kuda Laut Gemilang Chairman Interview

Q: Mr. Jayatsena, how do you think about the fist game?

A: Every first thing will be the tough one, expect nothing but better performance from our team in the next match.

Q: Your side has the upper hand today...

A: Yes, that's football. It's different from math.

Q: Are you satisfied with the performance of your current squad?

A: There is still room for improvement especially up front. I'll talk to Mr. Hodgson to make sure he use all the money invested here.

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New season statement from Mitsubishi Stadium

Chairman, Ashley Teagle

"I am absolutly delighted to be announcing a brand new team in this years revised footballing world called...Shakhtar Senseless! With the great help of Mitsubishi for building and putting us up in this magnificent stadium, and to Nurofen for providing sponsors and financial backing, this is going to be a fantastic year for the area and the club."

"We appologize for the delay to our pressconference. Some of our members of staff were unfortunatly caught up in the rioting in North London so we were unable to hold this meeting, but were back and ready to go."

"I am very pleased with what we, and the other 27 clubs have achieved so far. The organisation made by GCB is second to none! Only the second weekend in and its looking to be a crackerjack of a season, i feel it will go down to the wire at both ends of the table! i am now going to pass you over to Sir Alex Ferguson for details on the team, Sir Alex."

Head Coach, Sir Alex Ferguson

"So another season to keep you lot waiting to get a shot of me! You thought this was the year didnt you?! Well, to frank, im more motivated than ever. SS is going to be a great challenge for me and with the squad ive got, I think were in with a shout, even if our prediction is only 13th. We are better than this."

"This is shown by a solid Pre-Season. Away draws at Estudientes, Gillingham and Bristol Rovers are what i would call solid results. Its important to get some early moral within the team and i couldnt have asked for anything more from the lads with the away wins at Fiorentina and Deportivo, showing Europe is something we want to be a part of. A narrow loss at the San Siro was the only dampner but these results show that we are better than 13th."

"Any Questions?"

Reporter

"Hi Sir Alex, and congrats on a fine job so far. Do you have a FirstXI sorted yet? If so are you happy with it?"

Sir Alex

"Well the likly 11 is going to be - Gomes, Carr, Jose Enrique, Mertesacker, Ricardo Carvalho, Rodwell, Lennon, Xavi, Lisandro Lopez, Pato, Robinho. Everyone is performing well at training."

Reporter

"How important was it to be selected for the Premier League and not the Championship?"

Sir Alex Ferguson

"It was highly important to get into the Premier League I feel. Some managers would say that Championship level football is good for them to build on. There is no time to build! If your not in the big leagues pushing for Europe places, you are missing out on a lot of money, TV time and exposure for our brand. Because that is what this is these days, football is a branded culture and Premier League action is important for the club and fans alike."

Reporter

"Carling Cup is comming soon, how do think the cup runs will go this year?"

Sir Alex

"Unlike some managers the Carling cup is important for us as we want to enter European competition next season and this is a great way to it. it gives a club like ours the chance to do so as shown by Blackburn, Leicster and Middlesborough in recent times, its highly important and I think we will be ok against the Blades."

Reporter

"Finally, new Bloc is just around the block...im sorry i couldnt help myself! What are the prospects?"

Sir Alex

"I can smell sucess in the air, we are in a good place at the moment. New Bloc are a good team and are predicted 8th so this is an early test away to gauge how this season is going to go. A good start is cruicial and im hopeing for at least 9 out of 12 points to start the campaign. Arshavin and Miller being out should help Lennon to use his pace down the flanks to get some killer balls in box. However I cant keep this a secret for much longer but we have 3 first 11 out and 4 injuries in total: Carr, Pienaar, Lopez and Pato are all out. Hopefully we wont pick up any more because already the bench is weaknd and some youngsters are going to have to step up and be counted."

Reporter

"Concerned much?"

Sir Alex

"Not in the slightest! As I said earlier, training is going well and everyone is vying for places in the squad, competition is rife. Even though those 4 players are out today, they are not getting an easy ride back into the squad...well maybe with the exception of Pato, gotta love that wonderkid!"

Everyone

"HAHAHAHA!"

Chairman, Ashley Teagle

"That concludes the Conference, tea and buiscuits are on your right and cucumber sandwhiches on your left. Thank you very much for attending, see you all next week!"

Shakhtar Senseless is sponsored by Nurofen, because once you've Shakhtar Senseless, she's gonna need some!

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A very short Essendon FC update update via iPhone as some low life has stolen my laptop - very disappointed with the 0-3 loss, but given the injuries and paper thin squad it is to be expected. Once these players get back from injury, expect a much better performance! (and expect a more thorough update when I get another laptop)

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Sunday August 15th, 2010

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NEW BLOC KNOCKED SENSELESS!

SIR ALEX STARTS THE SEASON WITH ANOTHER WIN!

Sir Alex Ferguson kicked off his 25th season in the top flight of English football with a victory with his new club Shakhtar Senseless as they won 2-1 at the Verizon International Stadium, the home of New Bloc, one of the teams fancied to challenge near the top of the Premier League this season. For Sir Alex, after nearly 24 years at Manchester United, goals from Magaye Gueye and Robinho were enough to secure three points and start him out on the road towards what would be a record twelfth Premier League title. However, for New Bloc and their manager Chris Hughton, the result will come as an enormous disappointment as they themselves seek a good start to the season.

The Verizon International Stadium was jam-packed with 45,000 fans with most of the excitement surrounding the confrontation between the two former Barcelona midfielders, Xavi and Andres Iniesta, who would be on opposite sides for the first time in their careers. Chris Hughton sprung a surprise as he chose Bobby Zamora as the lone striker for New Bloc whilst leaving Andy Carroll on the bench and he named Croatian Darijo Srna as captain of the side. Ferguson partnered Robinho and former Aston Villa youngster Nathan Delfouneso up front as well as playing experienced German defender Per Meretesacker at right back whilst Ricardo Carvalho and Jonathan Woodgate paired up in the centre of the defence. It was Shakhtar Senseless who started the brighter with a number of early corners but it was New Bloc who forced the first real chance of the game as Zamora slid in Criscito but his effort was blocked well by Gomes.

Robinho and Xavi were beginning to link up well for Senseless though and they created a chance for youngster Delfouneso soon afterwards, Robinho laying the ball back to him 22 yards out and his fizzing shot beat Jaaskelainen but flew inches over the bar. The game was even though and Sidwell’s fierce drive for New Bloc was heading for the top corner before Gomes caught it well before the best chance of the game so far fell to Senseless. Xavi’s pinpoint free kick to the far post found Magaye Gueye unmarked and his header missed the target when it should have hit the net and put Ferguson’s side in front.

Senseless were starting to get on top and Gueye had the perfect opportunity to make up for his earlier header on 35 minutes. New Bloc defender Diego Godin was off the field receiving treatment when Aaron Lennon motored away down the right, his cross was perfect and GUEYE smashed home from 8 yards. The marking was poor but New Bloc would probably attribute that to their defender being off the field at the time. Senseless were not worried though and they had their lead heading towards half time. Bloc responded well though as Iniesta’s corner found Godin whose volley from 10 yards was well saved by Gomes to take the visitors in at half time with their lead in tact.

Andy Carroll was brought on at half time by Chris Hughton and it almost paid off within seconds of the restart. Sidwell dispossessed Xavi and found Zamora, he flicked the ball into the path of Carroll and the big striker took a touch before hitting a bulldozer of a shot that Gomes did superbly well to tip over the bar. New Bloc could count themselves unfortunate not to be level but then they allowed Shakhtar Senseless to control the next ten minutes and they finally paid dear for it. Nathan Delfouneso almost took advantage of slack defending from a Xavi free kick as he forced Jaaskelainen into a save on 50 minutes and he then saw a curling 25 yard effort fly just wide 6 minutes later. With almost an hour on the clock, New Bloc were 2-0 down though as their luck ran out. Xavi picked the ball up deep and found Rodwell, the young England future star slid the ball to ROBINHO who turned Godin with ease before placing the ball low and hard past Jaaskelainen and into the corner to make it 2-0. There was an increase in frustration amongst the home fans now but they were almost cheering 5 minutes later, Jonas firing Iniesta’s pull back at goal and forcing Gomes to tip over well.

Chris Hughton was continuing to urge his team on and he brought on Spanish winger Juanlu and new signing Pavel Ninkov as New Bloc sought an opening and a way back into the game. However, it was Senseless who were having the better chances as Lennon’s low cross was poked straight at Jaaskelainen by Delfouneso and then Robinho’s dipping volley after a Xavi corner was just over with the keeper beaten. With desperation setting in, New Bloc had a great chance 5 minutes from time as Zamora and Carroll linked well, Zamora’s shot deflected into the path of Ninkov and his low drive was tipped wide of the post by Gomes to deny Bloc once again. In injury time, New Bloc finally broke Gomes’ resistance. Carroll ran at the Senseless defence, slid in ZAMORA who took a touch past Mertesacker and then cleverly flicked the ball over Gomes into the corner of the net to give the home fans hope. They responded with a wall of noise as New Bloc went in search of the equaliser and they almost got it in the fifth minute of stoppage time. Sidwell’s ball over the top was perfect, Juanlu controlled it well and composed himself before shooting at goal. However, that man Gomes was in the perfect place to block the shot and then dive on the ball to secure the points for Shakhtar Senseless.

New Bloc 1-2 Shakhtar Senseless

Zamora 90 | Gueye 35, Robinho 58

New Bloc: Jaaskelainen, Srna ©, Godin, Ferdinand, Yurevich, Jonas, Sidwell, Wilson, Criscito, Iniesta, Zamora

(SUBS: Butland, Brightwell, Ninkov, Juanlu, Carroll, Lambert, Beill)

Shakhtar Senseless: Gomes, Mertesacker ©, Carvalho, Woodgate, Jose Enrique, Lennon, Rodwell, Xavi, Gueye, Robinho, Delfouneso

(SUBS: Smithies, Rooney, Winn, Cahill, Allen, Wright, Hickling)

[video=youtube;0pZqEeap6hs]

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AidanofLFC and SamRuff04 have yet to post in the thread, let alone post anything of note. Wootton Wanderers and Ruff FC can be replaced, guys. You need to post something please.

Nothing of note from AFC Slough (letissierandhenryaregreat), Discworld (magvest), A1 FC (fyrros), Dustbin Rovers (AdamW) and Horden All Stars (fergysafc) yet though you have posted in the thread at some point. I appreciate some people may be on holiday but if nothing comes, I will not post updates on your teams and you may be replaced. I have at least four people who have PM'd me about wanting to be in this sign up and I reckon I could use FMRTE to replace your teams if I needed to.

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Saturday August 21st, 2010

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T2B CLUBS FINAL PLAYER DRAFT!

56 PLAYERS AVAILABLE TO STRENGTHEN SQUAD!

With the 28 T2B sides recent formation, many squads need a little extra strength. However, the managers have been reluctant to sign free agents recently so 56 players have been named for the final T2B draft.

The 56 players listed below are available. Please draft one player at a time, whoever drafts him first gets him. At different points over the coming days, I will post the remaining players and allows teams to draft one more player until the final General Draft. I will then use FMRTE to assign these players to their new clubs. You DO NOT have to draft players if you don’t wish to ... There are enough for each team to select two players at least but if people don’t draft then there could be more. If your squad is low on numbers, this is your chance to expand it a little ...

Make sure you don’t draft a player that has already been drafted or else you waste your turn. DO NOT EDIT A POST! If a post is edited, I will ignore it.

THE 56 PLAYERS:

GK: Carlo Nash, Andy Marshall, Jason Brown, Boaz Myhillm Carl Ikeme

RB: Graeme Murty, Steve Finnan, Andy Griffin, Steven Reid, Bradley Orr, Greg Halford

LB: Ben Thatcher, Lee Naylor, Paul Konchesky

CB: Jody Craddock, Danny Higginbotham, Danny Gabbidon, Andy O’Brien, Clint Hill, Clarke Carlisle, Fitz Hall, Chris Riggott, Steven Caldwell, Gary Caldwell, Mark Hudson, Calum Davenport, Matt Kilgallon, Mike Williamson, Anthony Gerrard

CM: Paul Scholes, Gavin McCann, Sean Davis, Leon Britton, Gary O’Neil, Brian Howard, Michael Johnson

RW: Wayne Routledge, Michael Kightly

LW: Jason Koumas, Lee Cook

ST: Kevin Phillips, Robbie Blake, Brett Ormerod, Carl Cort, Marcus Bent, Tommy Smith, Marlon Harewood, Rob Hulse, Andrew Johnson, Rob Earnshaw, Nathan Tyson, Marcus Tudgay, Michael Chopra, Luke Moore, David McGoldrick, Zavon Hines

To draft a player, post in the thread like this:

Sheffield United draft: Stephen Quinn

Start drafting now!

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damn. beaten to the punch. in that case...

Dockland South draft Kevin Phillips

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Why?!!! GCB

I can't see myself updating and saying yeah, I'm want to do this and it was a great win etc etc.

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Southsea Athletic draft: Andrew Johnson

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Confusion greater than disappointment at Southsea Athletic

After their surprise opening 2-0 home defeat at the hands of hugely unfancied Rushden Phoenix, Athletic owner Dave Farrow has spoken of his bewilderment.

'I'm disappointed of course, but to be honest the overriding emotion at the club right now is confusion. We had a far better team; in fact probably the best in the league, and we completely outplayed the other team throughout the match. The ref wasn't great; there were more than a few dodgy decisions, and I think we just didn't have the luck of our opponents. I'm impressed with Mark Hughes, he's been brilliant during training, he's got a great grasp of tactics, and he lets me look at his wife. Ahem..

'I'm off on holiday for a couple of weeks tonight, so I'm not going to be around, which I'm sure Sparky will be pleased about. I've told him that if he's dropped any points before I come back he's getting the sack!'

I genuinely am going away for two weeks tonight, so will be unable to post in this thread until then. I offer my apologies, so please don't boot me! :p

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I can't see myself updating and saying yeah, I'm want to do this and it was a great win etc etc.

Why did you sign up in the first place then?

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Danny Higginbotham has not gone, Fareham Fallguys chose two for some reason.

Sorry about that GCB, jumped the gun there. My bad. :(

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Discworld Post match press conference:

Hi everyone. Welcome to our first press conference here at Ankh-Morpork. Chairman Terr Pratchett, manager Harry Redknapp and Carlos Tevez will be answering your questions tonight. Let's start:

Press: Mr Pratchett, you've invested a lot of money into building this new team. What are your goals and expectations with Discworld FC?

Pratchett: Well, I've always enjoyed the sport and when the opportunity came to start a team in the premiership, I felt that I had to do this. As for expectations, I hope that the team will do well, at least a european spot. But I also expect the team to play some lovely football, that can entertain the supporters just as well as my book does.

Press: How comy you signed Harry Redknapp as manager of the team?

Pratchett: I've always liked Harry, done a great job in most clubs he's been at, and I like what he did with Tottenham. Hopefully he can do even better results with this team.

Press: Mr Redknapp, what do you think of the club?

Redknapp: Really enjoyed it so far. Mr Pratchett has been very nice and have let me handle all team decisions. The squad looks really good and hopefully we have a good season in front of us.

Press: 1-0 against Dockland South, what are your thoughts of the game mr Redknapp?

Redknapp: A pretty good effort. The first game of the season is always hard. You never really know how strong your team really are. The team did what had to be done and managed to secure a 1-0 win.

Press: How will the team handle that two central midfielders injured?

Redknapp: Well we have a strong squad, so I'm sure we'll manage. But it is of course very tugh to lose such quality players as Hamsik and Rosicky.

Press: Carlos Tevez, only goal scorer of the match, can you describe the game please?

Tevez: Well, a solid team effort. Sagna did a wonderful pass to me and I could finish with my usual flair. The team then defended well and could get 3 pts.

That's all for now. We'll be back from Ankh-Morpork after next game here..

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Sorry for the late press conference GCB, have been crazy at work lately and will be for a while longer. I'll try to post more often though.... :)

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J: We are hearing rumors of FC Freljord activity for the latest draft announcement. Let's hear out Leslie from the club building:

L: Hello Jake. We have learned that there is an announcement to be made by the club this afternoon and we are eagerly waiting for it. Ohh, here's the chairman. Let's hear what he has to say:

KT: Hi everyone. I, Kaldera Tryn, as the chairman of FC Freljord announce today that we have drafted Danny Higginbotham in the draft window that has just been opened. The other draft option will be used when the second window is opened only if our manager feels the need. Thank you!

L: We all heard that Jake. The expected movement in the draft window has been done for now and FC Freljord has drafted Danny Higginbotham to bolster the defense line. I will try to approach Mr. Tryn to get an appointment for an interview. I am hoping we will provide our watchers with more information on the club in the near future. That's all for now from the club building of Freljord. Jake.

J: Thank you Leslie. Kaldera Tryn announced the draft of Danny Higginbotham by FC Freljord just moments ago. We will be on with the interview when Leslie manages to convice Mr. Tryn. That's all for now. Always have your Sports.eye on!

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Why did you sign up in the first place then?

Because I wanted say stuff but I just can't be bothered now.

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Because I wanted say stuff but I just can't be bothered now.

You shouldn't have signed up then. It was clear in the opening post. Jeez ...

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Second stage of draft open!

REMAINING PLAYERS:

GK: Carlo Nash, Andy Marshall, Jason Brown, Boaz Myhillm Carl Ikeme

RB: Graeme Murty, Steve Finnan, Andy Griffin, Steven Reid, Bradley Orr, Greg Halford

LB: Ben Thatcher, Lee Naylor, Paul Konchesky

CB: Jody Craddock, Andy O’Brien, Clint Hill, Clarke Carlisle, Fitz Hall, Chris Riggott, Steven Caldwell, Mark Hudson, Calum Davenport, Matt Kilgallon, Mike Williamson, Anthony Gerrard

CM: Gavin McCann, Sean Davis, Leon Britton, Gary O’Neil, Brian Howard

RW: Wayne Routledge, Michael Kightly

LW: Jason Koumas, Lee Cook

ST: Robbie Blake, Brett Ormerod, Carl Cort, Tommy Smith, Rob Hulse, Rob Earnshaw, Nathan Tyson, Michael Chopra, David McGoldrick

SO FAR:

Fareham Fallguys - Paul Scholes

Dockland South - Kevin Phillips

Lowen United - Marcus Bent

New Bloc - Luke Moore

Calvary FC - Gary Caldwell

Southsea Athletic - Andrew Johnson

Shire FC - Marcus Tudgay

Darlington All Stars - Zavon Hines

Saku FC - Marlon Harewood

AFC Slough - Danny Gabbidon

Kuda Laut Gemilang - Michael Johnson

FC Freljord - Danny Higginbotham

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Capite Ad Calcem drafts:

draft 1: Leon Britton

draft 2: Nathan Tyson

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Shakhtar Senseless

Draft 1: Fitz Hall

Draft 2: Michael Chopra

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FC Freljord drafts Gary O'Neil for their second round draft.

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Update on remaining players ...

REMAINING PLAYERS:

GK: Carlo Nash, Andy Marshall, Jason Brown, Boaz Myhill

RB: Graeme Murty, Steve Finnan, Andy Griffin, Bradley Orr, Greg Halford

LB: Ben Thatcher, Lee Naylor

CB: Jody Craddock, Andy O’Brien, Clint Hill, Clarke Carlisle, Chris Riggott, Steven Caldwell, Mark Hudson, Calum Davenport, Matt Kilgallon, Anthony Gerrard

CM: Gavin McCann, Sean Davis, Brian Howard

RW: Wayne Routledge

LW: Jason Koumas, Lee Cook

ST: Robbie Blake, Brett Ormerod, Carl Cort, Tommy Smith, Rob Hulse, Rob Earnshaw, David McGoldrick

SO FAR:

Fareham Fallguys - Paul Scholes

Dockland South - Kevin Phillips, Michael Kightly

Lowen United - Marcus Bent

New Bloc - Luke Moore, Carl Ikeme

Calvary FC - Gary Caldwell, Paul Konchesky

Southsea Athletic - Andrew Johnson

Shire FC - Marcus Tudgay, Steven Reid

Darlington All Stars - Zavon Hines

Saku FC - Marlon Harewood

AFC Slough - Danny Gabbidon, Mike Williamson

Kuda Laut Gemilang - Michael Johnson

FC Freljord - Danny Higginbotham, Gary O'Neil

Capite Ad Calcem - Leon Britton, Nathan Tyson

Shakhtar Senseless - Fitz Hall, Michael Chopra

Remaining players at 9pm tonight (GMT) will be available to anybody (max of 3)

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Max of 3 more at 9pm tonight, or max of 3 altogether from this draft?

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CALVARY F.C.

(glennuk)

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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Press Statement - One trophy, more to come

A press statement has been released by Calvary Fc. It comes from chief PR officer Miles Clark.

Miles: After discussions with the Chairman and Management team at Calvary we would like to announce that until Sports Tv improves their skills Calvary will not be sending the Chairman or Management to any extra press conferences. The decision was made after the ludicrous prediction of 11th in the League for a team that clearly has the strongest squad in the league, followed by an absurd claim after our Victory that we were one of the favourites. If the powers that be in Sports.tv actually understood how much this could offend a club like Calvary then they would issue a public apology, this however is yet to happen.

We are happy to continue in the league and we as a club are looking forward to showing what we are really made of.

The recent aquistions of Caldwell and Konchesky will sure up a defence which were short on cover and will also bring some experience to our side. This again will help improve our status as the strongest club the league has to offer.

Now we have that out of the way, we would like to thank the fans for their support in the Community Shield and the fact that we gave them something to cheer about, shows how we reward our fans.

We want you all to know, that this is the first of many trophies that will be presented in our Trophy Cabinet.

Be sure this is just the first of MANY successes for this club!

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Okay let's get it right this time!

Fareham Fallguys draft: Jody Craddock

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FC Freljord drafts Boaz Myhill for the last spot.

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Essendon FC Draft:

Jason Brown

Lee Naylor

Brian Howard

Whilst I'm disapointed to only find out about this draft towards the end, I'm glad I've managed to get some kind of back up players seeing as my manager refuses to sign anyone despite the fairly decent transfer budget I left him with!

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