Greasy Chip Butty

SPORTS.tv presents: Top2Bottom (FM11)

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Just one signing for CAC so far, let's hope Akinfeev doesn't get injured as there is no GK backup.

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Sorry, a third restart needed. Forgot the rule about teams needing to be 3 years old to be in the FA Cup AND the importance of the last division and position in assigning the League Cup seedings.

I'm sorry!

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No worries GCB! Hopefully Mr. Redknapp can make some transfers this time... :D

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Right, I am sure that I've got it right now. Ran a longer test and everybody was in the right competitions at the right times!

And before anyone asks ... No. I won't tell you who was winning the league in February when I stopped the test.

I will tell you that on one test I did though when none of you got entered in the FA Cup, it was Peterborough United that managed to win it. Hmm.

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nPOWER CHAMPIONSHIP PREVIEW SHOW

On the eve of the new nPower Championship season, SPORTS.tv takes a look at the eight Top2Bottom sides hoping to earn the biggest prize in football – promotion to the Premier League. 46 games awaits them as they look to finish either in the top two or – as a second option – in the top six followed by a celebration at Wembley Stadium at the end of May. However, eight T2B sides into the top six places doesn’t work and it is clear that five of these sides must miss out on the Premier League. Which five will it be?

SPORTS.tv's team of experts have been discussing this all week and here is your nPower Championship preview which includes our predictions.

Will we be right?

Find out here as SPORTS.tv brings you all the action for the coming season from the nPower Championship which begins this weekend with the first games of the season:

Bristol City vs. Horden All Stars

Derby County vs. A1 FC

Hull City vs. Lowen United

Leicester City vs. Dustbin Rovers

Preston North End vs. Fareham Fallguys

Saku FC vs. Ruff FC

Sheffield United vs. Darlington Rangers

AND MORE!

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PRE SEASON REPORT: A1 FC (fyrros)

MANAGER: Neil Warnock

CHAIRMAN: Thoughtbread Donut

DIVISION: nPower Championship

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Ajax 2-1 A1 FC

Argentinos 1-1 A1 FC

Montpellier 3-0 A1 FC

Chivas 2-2 A1 FC

Crusaders 1-2 A1 FC

TRANSFERS

Matthew Upson (Free)

Stiliyan Petrov (Free)

Nenad Milijas (Free)

Wilson Palacios (Free)

In manager Neil Warnock, there is no doubt that A1 FC have the manager who knows most about getting promoted out of the Championship having completed the job with three different clubs – Notts County, Sheffield United and QPR – already. The Aces have had a difficult pre-season as they failed to win until their final game against Crusaders but that reflected the quality of the opposition in fairness with the 3-0 defeat to Montpellier the biggest disappointment. Warnock has made several clever signings to boost the depth in the squad and A1 should be capable of mounting a promotion challenge this season. With Welsh youngsters Aaron Ramsey and Gareth Bale in their ranks as well as French creative midfielder Yoann Gourcuff, there should be no lack of chances for the likes of Nicolas Anelka, Hugo Rodallega and Johan Elmander to feed off. If they can convert these chances, A1 could well be celebrating a place in the Premier League come May next year.

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predicts ...

3RD – PLAY OFF WINNERS!

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PRE SEASON REPORT: DARLINGTON RANGERS (kevv2204)

MANAGER: Roberto Mancini

CHAIRMAN: Kane Velbrim

DIVISION: nPower Championship

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Galatasaray 3-2 Darlington Rangers

Fenerbahce 1-2 Darlington Rangers

Swindon Town 3-0 Darlington Rangers

Valenciennes 0-2 Darlington Rangers

Penarol 1-2 Darlington Rangers

TRANSFERS

None

Roberto Mancini seems confident that he has the personnel needed to mount a promotion challenge this season with no new signings made. The pre-season results – Swindon apart – were encouraging and suggest that he could be right. However, the lack of signings could leave Rangers susceptible to injuries and suspensions as the season wears on and a lack of strength in depth could well be needed with the creaking bones of Michel Salgado and Graham Alexander – part of the new coaching set up but carrying on as a player – making the defence a particular concern. Rangers’ forward line is as exciting as you are likely to see in the Championship and there should be no shortage of goals with the likes of Edinson Cavani, Jose Antonio Reyes and Sergio Aguero in the black and white shirts as well as Keirrison and Peter Crouch providing alternative options. If they stay injury and suspension free, Darlington Rangers will challenge for promotion to the Premier League. Unfortunately, that is a big if.

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6TH

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PRE SEASON REPORT: DUSTBIN ROVERS (Adamw)

MANAGER: David Moyes

CHAIRMAN: Adam Wilkinson

DIVISION: nPower Championship

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Brechin 0-2 Dustbin Rovers

Benfica 4-0 Dustbin Rovers

Sporting CP 2-3 Dustbin Rovers

Vitoria Guimaraes 2-0 Dustbin Rovers

Racing Santander 3-3 Dustbin Rovers

TRANSFERS

Pascal Zuberbuhler (Free)

Kevin Davies (Free)

If their pre-season friendlies are anything to go by, Dustbin Rovers’ Wastelands stadium will be one of the best places to visit for entertainment this season. However, David Moyes, the manager, is likely to be desperate to stamp out the infuriating inconsistency that his side have shown during their visit to Portugal and Spain as one moment they were superb, the next they were, no pun intended, rubbish. The signing of Kevin Davies indicates that Moyes realises that he has a lack of options up front although David Villa is always a handy man to have around! The midfield looks strong with Hatem Ben Arfa and Jimmy Bullard set to be the men who provide the chances for the front men. However, there could be a real issue at the back if any of the first choice back four take injuries, as evidenced by the number of goals scored against the team in pre-season once substitutions were made. There is no doubt that Dustbin Rovers possess quality in their ranks and in David Villa they have one of the world’s best strikers. However, they may need some major improvements from elsewhere in the squad if they are to realise their promotion dream this season.

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predicts ...

7TH

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PRE SEASON REPORT: FAREHAM FALLGUYS (MattieCoopz)

MANAGER: Roberto Di Matteo

CHAIRMAN: Marcus Mann

DIVISION: nPower Championship

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Galatasaray 1-1 Fareham Fallguys

Eskisehirspor 0-1 Fareham Fallguys

Manisaspor 1-4 Fareham Fallguys

Macclesfield Town 0-2 Fareham Fallguys

Genoa 0-1 Fareham Fallguys

TRANSFERS

None

Italian manager Roberto Di Matteo knows all about promotion from the nPower Championship having guided West Bromwich Albion there previously and the pre-season friendly results suggest that the Fallguys are ready to launch a promotion assault this season as well. A successful tour of Turkey and a good win over Italian Serie A side Genoa show the potential of the side despite Di Matteo failing to make any signings over the summer, clearly satisfied with what he has. A strong defence will make Fareham difficult to breach whilst the attacking instincts of midfielders Tim Cahill and Yaya Toure should lead to goals for the Creekside Arena faithful to see. The always dangerous Samuel Eto’o provides yet another big name striker in the Championship and he should score for fun although the backups of Danny Welbeck, Franco Di Santo and Shane Long need to prove themselves and chip in as well. If they do, don’t expect Fareham Fallguys to be far away come May next year.

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predicts ...

CHAMPIONS!

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PRE SEASON REPORT: HORDEN ALL STARS (fergysafc)

MANAGER: Gerard Houllier

CHAIRMAN: Liam Ferguson

DIVISION: nPower Championship

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Port Vale 2-1 Horden All Stars

Olympique Marseille 0-2 Horden All Stars

FC Lorient 2-2 Horden All Stars

FC Istres 4-1 Horden All Stars

Huddersfield Town 3-0 Horden All Stars

TRANSFERS

None

Manager Gerard Houllier is another one yet to make any moves in the transfer market since he took over the Horden All Stars – judging by the All Stars’ pre-season, he may wish to revise that decision soon. Humiliating defeats to Port Vale, Huddersfield and FC Istres show that the defence may not be up to the mark although, bizarrely, the most high profile opponent in pre-season were defeated with ease in the end and failed to breach Horden’s defence. Will the real Horden All Stars please stand up? Maybe the defence is simply too attack minded with the likes of Maicon, Marcelo and Jose Bosingwa all likely to feature this season but Houllier must sort it quickly if Horden All Stars are to challenge this season. The strikeforce of Obafemi Martins, Nicklas Bendtner and Diego Milito should guarantee goals for the club and with Lionel Messi providing the assists along with Steven Gerrard and Antonio Valencia, it is hard to see Horden All Stars not being amongst the top teams come the end of the season. If Houllier gels the side quickly and stiffens up the defence, the All Stars could be top of the pile in May.

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predicts ...

2ND - PROMOTED!

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PRE SEASON REPORT: LOWEN UNITED (jimbowmanuk)

MANAGER: Alex McLeish

CHAIRMAN: Ernst Scaramanga

DIVISION: nPower Championship

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Maritimo 3-1 Lowen United

Fenerahce 3-1 Lowen United

Kayserispor 1-1 Lowen United

Hartlepool United 5-0 Lowen United

Boca Juniors 1-2 Lowen United

TRANSFERS

Christian Eriksen (Season Loan, Ajax)

Alex McLeish is not a manager you would wish to face after a 5-0 defeat at Hartlepool United at any time in your career. For the players of Lowen United, that has already become a reality after a humiliating pre-season took a turn for the worse with a hammering from Pool. However, it may well turn out to be for the best for the team who responded with an excellent 2-1 win over Boca Juniors in the final pre-season friendly, McLeish’s first win as boss. McLeish will hope to continue this winning feeling in the early weeks of the season with none of the rest of the ‘T2B 8’ to face until October. However, their squad has injury issues already that may make things difficult with just the loan signing of Christian Eriksen to add depth to the squad. Philipp Lahm, Filipe and Lee Cattermole are all ruled out of the opening games of the season and lesser injuries to Cambiasso and Bebe leave Lowen United with just 14 fit players ahead of the season opener at Hull. Much will depend on the goalkeeping genius of Petr Cech which should, especially with Martin Caceres and Thiago Motta joining Lahm and Filipe in the back four, ensure a good defensive record once things gel. Equally important will be Loic Remy, Moussa Dembele and Marouane Chamakh who are all good strikers but at least one needs to step up and prove himself by hitting 25 goals that would go a long way to ensuring Lowen United challenge for promotion this season.

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predicts ...

5TH

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PRE SEASON REPORT: RUFF FC (SamRuff04)

MANAGER: Avram Grant

CHAIRMAN: Clive Ruff

DIVISION: nPower Championship

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Ruff FC 2-1 Werder Bremen

Ankaragucu 2-3 Ruff FC

Fenerbahce 1-1 Ruff FC

Villarreal 2-2 Ruff FC

MK Dons 2-0 Ruff FC

TRANSFERS

None

A promising pre-season against some of the top sides in Europe was spoiled by Avram Grant’s Ruff FC as they crashed to a 2-0 defeat in Milton Keynes in their final friendly raising questions about their ability to achieve promotion to the Premier League this season. No new signings from the Israeli suggest he is happy with his squad – which might lack some depth – and the win over Werder Bremen shows that, on their day, Ruff FC can compete with the best. Ruff FC look set to be a team that has no stand out star man – Diego Forlan being the most well known – but they do have a solid side that should gel quickly into an effective team. The spine of the team has potential with Alex and Carles Puyol at the back, the tireless Scott Parker and the goals of Charlie Adam in the centre of the midfield and the dangerous Forlan up front with Giampaolo Pazzini. If they can add some quality to the side on the flanks, Ruff FC could well be the side to be celebrating come May.

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predicts ...

4TH

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PRE SEASON REPORT: SAKU FC (o1000100)

MANAGER: Carlo Ancelotti

CHAIRMAN: Oskar Henno

DIVISION: nPower Championship

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Fenerbahce 1-1 Saku FC

Porto 4-2 Saku FC

Benfica 2-0 Saku FC

Santa Clara 0-1 Saku FC

Osasuna 3-1 Saku FC

TRANSFERS

None

With just fourteen professional players to his name, it is surprising that Carlo Ancelotti has not opted to make a move in the transfer window so far and it would be hard to argue against the idea that he must if Saku FC are to challenge for promotion this season. Against difficult pre-season opponents, Saku FC performed well at times but their confidence won’t have been helped by three defeats in five games and it will be interesting to see how long they take to hit top gear this season. They certainly have the personnel to challenge for promotion – any first eleven in the division would struggle against the quality of Martin Skrtel, Michael Essien, Seydou Keita, Franck Ribery, Ashley Young and Luis Suarez but there are glaring gaps in their side that could be their undoing in the quest for promotion. No out and out goalscoring striker is a worry for the Saku FC fans and they are urging Ancelotti to make a move in the transfer window before it closes at the end of August. A lack of depth also needs addressing if they are to challenge. If they can add numbers to the squad, they could challenge. Without further additions, a promotion challenge seems unlikely.

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predicts ...

8TH

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Loving the fact that we are predicted to become champions, hopefully the team will live up to those expectations.

Another nice unbeaten pre-season, showing other strong European teams how it's done is also very important but we could've done with another signing or two defensively. But Roberto does as he feels, and I hope we won't get caught out by an injury crisis which he'll regret not making any cover signings.

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2 terrible defeats and winning vs OM...Makes no sense :D Predicted 2nd i will be happy if that happens, GH really needs to sign someone

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GCB - Great work fella, well worth the wait!

A1 FC have certainly managed to recruit some good free transfers. Best of luck one and all!

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Can't wait to see the Premiership projections GCB, expect comment from management at New Bloc and it's head man once Sid Smash decided to chop us down again.

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Lowen United predicted to finish in the playoffs? that wont happen unless McLeish signs some more players to cover the injuries

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My team seems to be filled with Cm's....

Well hoping that my manager can actually make the promotion prediction come true :p

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Great writing GCB, can't wait to read the premiership ones. Will be a great sign-up!!

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Can't believe my manager hasn't signed anyone yet... Maybe he will in august?

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Finally I can catch up with the sign up :) 75 messages already and no mention of Freljord yet :( Let's hope McClaren planned some nice moves and we'll be able to hear them out in the next update.

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Finally I can catch up with the sign up :) 75 messages already and no mention of Freljord yet :( Let's hope McClaren planned some nice moves and we'll be able to hear them out in the next update.

Should update later, been busy last couple of days. I am writing the Premier League preview show before I write the opening Championship review and the League Cup games.

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BARCLAYS PREMIER LEAGUE PREVIEW SHOW

The ‘Greatest League in the World’ returns soon as the remaining 20 T2B teams begin their season looking for victory on Day 1. The importance of a good start is essential and with nobody really knowing which teams are going to be towards the top of the division and which teams will be scrapping at the bottom, a positive start may well be the boost needed for a good campaign. SPORTS.tv is ready to preview the 20 Premier League teams, their pre-season results, their signings and their chances as well as making our own predictions based on the opinions of the SPORTS.tv experts.

Will we be right?

Only SPORTS.tv will have the answer for you with all the action from the Barclays Premier League once it begins in a week’s time. Remember that the nPower Championship kicks off one week earlier than the Premier League!

PREMIER LEAGUE

Capite Ad Calcem vs. AFC Slough

Darlington All Stars vs. Wootton Wanderers

Discworld vs. Dockland South

Emurica vs. Solent Galaxy

Essendon vs. Calvary

FC Freljord vs. Stratford Rangers

New Bloc vs. Shakhtar Senseless

Real Clifton vs. Chelsea Australia

Shire FC vs. Kuda Laut Gemilang

Southsea Athletic vs. Rushden Phoenix

PLUS ALL THE EUROPEAN AND DOMESTIC CUP ACTION AS WELL!

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PRE SEASON REPORT: AFC SLOUGH (letissierandhenryaregreat)

MANAGER: Arsene Wenger

CHAIRMAN: Walter Charles-Baskerville

DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Millwall 0-2 AFC Slough

Darlington 0-1 AFC Slough

Derby County 2-2 AFC Slough

OGC Nice 0-2 AFC Slough

Barcelona 0-1 AFC Slough

Salamanca 2-1 AFC Slough

EUROPA LEAGUE QUALIFIER

Spartak ZV 5-0 AFC Slough

AFC Slough 1-1 Spartak ZV

Spartak ZV win 6-1 on aggregate

TRANSFERS

Mathias Jorgensen (Season Loan, FC Copenhagen)

Experienced manager Arsene Wenger will not be pleased with AFC Slough’s impressive pre-season campaign due to the three results that followed including the demise at the hands of Serbian side Spartak ZV that leaves AFC Slough’s Europa League dream over after just two games. With just central defender Mathias Jorgensen arriving at the club, there is a decent amount of depth in the squad that should ensure that Slough can survive the inevitable injuries and suspensions that will come this season. Iker Casillas’ talents in goal will be vital if AFC Slough are to challenge at the top of the league as will the enigmatic Mario Balotelli – if AFC Slough and Arsene Wenger can screw his head on right, they have a real talent. If not, they have a real problem.

LIKELY 11: Casillas, Jara, Cole, Agger, Jorgensen, Maduro, Bentley, Anderson, Bilyaletdinov, Balotelli, Rossi

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predicts ...

6th

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PRE SEASON REPORT: CALVARY FC (glennuk)

MANAGER: Martin O’Neill

CHAIRMAN: Vic Oliver

DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Brentford 2-1 Calvary

Tranmere Rovers 1-1 Calvary

Schalke 1-1 Calvary

Hamburg SV 3-2 Calvary

Calvary 0-3 Juventus

Deportivo La Coruna 2-1 Calvary

Ipswich Town 3-1 Calvary

TRANSFERS

Mike Pollitt (Free)

Marko Maletic (£1m, FC Utrecht)

Manager Martin O’Neill has described Calvary FC’s pre season as concerning whilst fans of the club are showing signs of worry – seven games and seven failures to win with just draws with Tranmere Rovers and Schalke to show. Whilst pre-season friendlies should always be treat with some indifference, the lack of a win won’t help the side as they prepare for the Premier League and Champions League this season. The likes of Hugo Lloris, John Heitinga and Jerome Boateng will be desperate to improve the defensive performances once the season begins for real whilst Calvary have an exciting range of talent up front with England internationals Wayne Rooney, Darren Bent and Daniel Sturridge joined by Dutch master Robin Van Persie. They won’t struggle for goals but can they defend better once the season begins?

LIKELY 11: Lloris, Boateng, Salcido, Evans, Naldo, Lucas, Park Ji Sung, Wilshere, Downing, Rooney, Van Persie

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predicts ...

11th

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PRE SEASON REPORT: CAPITE AD CALCEM (Kenco)

MANAGER: Kenny Dalglish

CHAIRMAN: Non Compos Mentos

DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Ajax 1-3 Capite Ad Calcem

Eskisehirspor 2-0 Capite Ad Calcem

Sporting CP 0-1 Capite Ad Calcem

Benfica 1-0 Capite Ad Calcem

Olhanense 0-1 Capite Ad Calcem

Derby County 2-0 Capite Ad Calcem

TRANSFERS

Luke Hyam (£800K, Ipswich Town)

Maik Taylor (Free)

An inconsistent pre-season for the Romans who showed their qualities in beating Ajax and Sporting but also their weaknesses in defeats at Derby and Eskisehirspor. Manager Kenny Dalglish will be hoping that his side can get on the winning track in the Premier League when it kicks off and stay on that track to ensure a good season. The defensive aspect of the team looks solid with the likes of Igor Akinfeev, Jamie Carragher, Kolo Toure and Javier Mascherano set to protect the Romans’ goal. However, going forward could be the key to their success. If Denilson and Jordan Henderson can provide the chances for Demba Ba, Dirk Kuyt and Roque Santa Cruz, the goals will come. However, the worry is that goals will be a problem for the Romans and it will prevent them from challenging at the top and could see them involved at the foot of the table instead.

LIKELY 11: Akinfeev, Carragher, Zhirkov, Toure, Cahill, Mascherano, Henderson, Denilson, Jarvis, Kuyt, Santa Cruz

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predicts ...

16th

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PRE SEASON REPORT: CHELSEA AUSTRALIA (William Hall)

MANAGER: Ian Holloway

CHAIRMAN: William Hall

DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Dinamo 2-3 Chelsea Australia

Velez 0-2 Chelsea Australia

Leyton Orient 2-0 Chelsea Australia

Southampton 0-0 Chelsea Australia

Cesena 1-0 Chelsea Australia

Lazio 2-2 Chelsea Australia

TRANSFERS

Blair Turgott (Free)

Matthew Booth (£95K, Sundowns)

A well rounded squad shows that Chelsea Australia have cover in all areas of the pitch which could help them once the injuries and suspensions bite. However, the amount of quality in the squad is questionable once you look past goalkeeper Julio Cesar, defender Sergio Ramos and midfielders Cesc Fabregas and Angel Di Maria. Whilst these four will help Chelsea Australia to points on their own, the lack of quality in the rest of the team – particularly up front where it seems to be a Championship strike force – could lead to a struggle this season for the Aussies. Pre-season did little to suggest that the quality is there to mount a challenge in the Premier League and Holloway might be better suited to trying to ensure his side stay in the Premier League.

LIKELY 11: Julio Cesar, Sergio Ramos, Maxwell, Kompany, Mancienne, Lansbury, Milner, Fabregas, Di Maria, Bothroyd, Fletcher

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predicts ...

17th

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PRE SEASON REPORT: DARLINGTON ALL STARS (toonbalmy87)

MANAGER: Eddie Howe

CHAIRMAN: Arron Balmer

DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Peterborough United 0-0 Darlington All Stars

Chivas 0-4 Darlington All Stars

America (MEX) 0-3 Darlington All Stars

Leon 2-1 Darlington All Stars

Werder Bremen 1-1 Darlington All Stars

Tenerife 0-1 Darlington All Stars

Cliftonville 0-3 Darlington All Stars

TRANSFERS

None

An impressive pre season for the All Stars and they should be able to use the confidence gained to launch their season with a good start. Much will depend on young manager Eddie Howe who will need to work hard to command respect from a very talented dressing room full of big names such as Victor Valdes, Cristiano Ronaldo, Florent Malouda, Frank Lampard and Mirko Vucinic. With a promising but young defence, Howe will need to work hard with the defence to keep the goals out but if they can, they will have no trouble scoring goals at the other end. SPORTS.tv think that they will and this should lead to a challenge near the top of the table and potential silverware come May.

LIKELY 11: Victor Valdes, Naughton, Cissokho, Raul Albiol, Smalling, Fellaini, Ronaldo, Lampard, Malouda, Vucinic, Defoe

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predicts ...

2nd

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PRE SEASON REPORT: DISCWORLD (magvest)

MANAGER: Harry Redknapp

CHAIRMAN: Terry Pratchett

DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Rapid Bucharest 1-3 Discworld

Ankaragucu 3-0 Discworld

Fiorentina 1-1 Discworld

Boca Juniors 1-1 Discworld

Sevilla vs. Discworld

Espanyol vs. Discworld

Oviedo vs. Discworld

TRANSFERS

None

Bizarrely, Discworld chairman Terry Pratchett and manager Harry Redknapp have decided that the week before the start of the season is the right time to squeeze in three pre-season friendlies with the final one on the Thursday before the Premier League season starts. Whether or not Redknapp’s decisions will be as strange once the season starts can be speculated on but Discworld have a squad that should allow them to challenge at the right end of the division with a place in Europe the likely outcome. The reliable form of Sebastien Frey in goal and the likes of Bakary Sagna and Ledley King in front should be strong enough whilst the midfield and attacking areas ooze quality with Daniele De Rossi, Nani, Jesus Navas and Tomas Rosicky amongst those firing the bullets for Carlos Tevez and Didier Drogba to finish off.

LIKELY 11: Frey, Sagna, Cech, King, Bruno Alves, De Rossi, Jesus Navas, Rosicky, Nani, Tevez, Drogba

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predicts ...

7th

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PRE SEASON REPORT: DOCKLAND SOUTH (ejldude)

MANAGER: Tony Pulis

CHAIRMAN: Sir Francis Bacon

DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Brechin 0-0 Dockland South

Frankfurt 1-3 Dockland South

Werder Bremen 1-0 Dockland South

Bochum 0-1 Dockland South

Burghausen 0-0 Dockland South

St Mirren 1-1 Dockland South

Juventus 2-1 Dockland South

TRANSFERS

None

Tony Pulis’ no nonsense style of football might not win many admirers at times but it should ensure that Dockland South aren’t involved in the relegation scrap this season. There is a strong spine of quality in the side from Branislav Ivanovic, Guy Demel and Ryan Shawcross – who worked with Pulis at Stoke – at the back, Garth Barry and Sergio Busquets in the midfield and Gonzalo Higuain and Karim Benzema up front. Whilst the experts would suggest that Dockland South won’t set the goalscoring charts on fire, they are unlikely to be easily broken down and that should see them finish in the middle of the table.

LIKELY 11: Carson, Ivanovic, Gibbs, Demel, Shawcross, Barry, Busquets, Cazorla, Hunt, Higuain, Benzema

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predicts ...

9th

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PRE SEASON REPORT: EMURICA FC (NicKC13573)

MANAGER: Paul Jewell

CHAIRMAN: Nicholas Clements

DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Darlington 1-1 Emurica

Portsmouth 3-3 Emurica

Walsall 2-1 Emurica

Tenerife 1-3 Emurica

Valencia 2-3 Emurica

Valladolid 2-0 Emurica

Leganes 0-2 Emurica

TRANSFERS

Lee Bowyer (Free)

Luke Young (Free)

Mariano (£7.25m, Fluminese)

Eyong Enoh (£4.1m, Ajax)

Paul Jewell has been busy in the transfer market this summer with four signings and it is easy to see why. A lack of quality in the squad – aside from the obvious Zlatan Ibrahimovic – was only pointing to one outcome: relegation. However, Jewell has made clever signings in Enoh and Mariano as well as the experienced heads of Bowyer and Young. If they can get off to a good start, there is no reason why Emurica cannot comfortably head into the realms of mid table but you fear for them if (a) they get off to a bad start or (b) Ibrahimovic is injured for any length of time. A strong defence should keep the goals down but Ibrahimovic will be needed to force a few 1-0 results.

LIKELY 11: Harper, Mariano, Aurelio, Jagielka, Pique, Enoh, Kalou, Bowyer, Pedersen, Keane, Ibrahimovic

SPORTStvLogo-1.jpg

predicts ...

20th

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EssendonFC.png

PRE SEASON REPORT: ESSENDON FC (Marky Mark!)

MANAGER: Billy Davies

CHAIRMAN: James Hird

DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Estudiantes Tecos 3-0 Essendon

Valenciennes 2-1 Essedon

Schalke 1-2 Essendon

Hamburg 4-2 Essendon

Mainz 3-0 Essendon

Peterborough United 1-0 Essendon

AC Milan 2-4 Essendon

TRANSFERS

None

How on earth can a team lose five pre season games but win the two most difficult? That will be the question perplexing Billy Davies as he prepares his Essendon side for the opening day of the Premier League season. They showed that they have the quality and the ability to beat the best in Milan and Schalke but also showed a soft underbelly that could be their undoing once the season begins. No new signings means Davies is content with what he has and as with many teams in the Premier League, goalscoring won’t be an issue but keeping them out might. Wes Brown and Joleon Lescott are strong enough but the likes of injury prone Craig Gordon in goal and Herita Ilunga and Craig Cathcart at the back could lead to Essendon being ripped to shreds at times. They will need the goals if they are to survive!

LIKELY 11: Gordon, Eboue, Ilunga, Lescott, Brown, Song, Wright-Phillips, Kaka, Afellay, Gilardino, Walcott

SPORTStvLogo-1.jpg

predicts ...

14th

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FCFreljord.png

PRE SEASON REPORT: FC FRELJORD (5ergio)

MANAGER: Steve McClaren

CHAIRMAN: Kaldera Tryn

DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Southampton 3-0 FC Freljord

Lens 3-2 FC Freljord

Hull City 1-2 FC Freljord

Morecambe 0-2 FC Freljord

Real Madrid 0-0 FC Freljord

TRANSFERS

Tomas Kalas (Loaned to Bury)

FC Freljord have a strong starting eleven that – with maybe an addition or two – could well be a contender to win the Premier League. There are a lot of question marks hanging over Steve McClaren’s side though. First of all, he needs to find a way to coax the goals that Edin Dzeko is capable of scoring out of him as well as pairing him up with the inexperienced but incredibly talented Javier ‘Chicharito’ Hernandez. If these two can form a partnership, don’t be surprised to see FC Freljord challenge with the likes of Arjen Robben and Lucho Gonzalez available to create the chances. The defence is solid and will protect arguably the best Premier League goalkeeper of the past few seasons in former Liverpool man Jose Reina. Could FC Freljord be celebrating come May?

LIKELY 11: Reina, Cuellar, Michel Bastos, Vidic, Coloccini, Collison, Robben, Lucho Gonzalez, Adriano, Dzeko, Hernandez

SPORTStvLogo-1.jpg

predicts ...

5th

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At least Kenny has seen the sense to get a back-up keeper, but shame he hasn't bought more firepower up front. I think a prediction of 16th is pretty fair, and I hope we make it.

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MAIN GAMES:

AUGUST:

7: NPC: Saku FC vs. Ruff FC

8: C-S: Calvary FC vs. Stratford Rangers

10: CC1: Lowen United vs. Wycombe Wanderers

14: BPL: New Bloc vs. Shakhtar Senseless

21: BPL: Wootton Wanderers vs. FC Freljord

25: CC2: TBA

28: BPL: Real Clifton vs. Rushden Phoenix

31: NPC: Sheffield United vs. Fareham Fallguys

SEPTEMBER:

11: BPL: Kuda Laut Gemilang vs. Emurica FC

14: NPC: Horden All Stars vs. Lowen United

18: BPL: AFC Slough vs. Dockland South

22: CC3: TBA

25: BPL: Kuda Laut Gemilang vs. Discworld

28: NPC: Watford vs. Darlington Rangers

OCTOBER:

2: BPL: Shire FC vs. Southsea Athletic

16: BPL: Dockland South vs. Solent Galaxy

19: NPC: A1 FC vs. Dustbin Rovers

23: BPL: AFC Slough vs. Solent Galaxy

27: CC4: TBA

30: BPL: Darlington All Stars vs. Discworld

NOVEMBER:

6: BPL: Capite Ad Calcem vs. Shire FC

9: BPL: Darlington All Stars vs. Capite Ad Calcem

13: BPL: Chelsea Australia vs. Essendon FC

20: BPL: Southsea Athletic vs. Real Clifton

27: BPL: Rushden Phoenix vs. Essendon FC

DECEMBER:

1: CCQ: TBA

4: BPL: Chelsea Australia vs. Emurica FC

11: BPL: Kuda Laut Gemilang vs. Wootton Wanderers

18: BPL: Real Clifton vs. New Bloc

26: BPL: Shakhtar Senseless vs. Calvary FC

28: BPL: Stratford Rangers vs. FC Freljord

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Great updates as always GCB - love the club reviews.

I wonder where Stratford will be predicted to finish!

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this is making great reading, hurry up with mine! joking!

cant wait till the season starts, i hope im not predicted #1, i find its always a curse

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Predicted 5th is good. Kalas being loaned is expected as well but no transfers as of yet and I assume McClaren won't be signing anyone later on. Here's hoping he can manage to form a team spirit and understanding to achieve that prediction.

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i knew that's where my squad needed sorting out in defense and a another Striker would of thought how would of splurged out on a couple of players like

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