Raptor Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 Hello and good evening everybody, a literally very warm welcome from Kaapstad, or Cape Town as it's known to most of youse. The doors and bar are open now for the 7th annual FMS Awards. Please come in in orderly fashion and take your seats, your hosts WLKRAS and Raptor will be with you shortly. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 Hello and good evening everybody, a literally very warm welcome from Kaapstad, or Cape Town as it's known to most of youse. The doors and bar are open now for the 7th annual FMS Awards. Please come in in orderly fashion and take your seats, your hosts WLKRAS and Raptor will be with you shortly. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 *rolls in* *literally* Barkeep, a bottle of your finest Saint-Emilion, please. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 *watches the tumbleweed roll past* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 *walks in wearing shorts, a t-shirt and a bad sunburn* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by WLKRAS: *walks in wearing shorts, a t-shirt and a bad sunburn* </div></BLOCKQUOTE> Does the T-shirt feature your ICQ number Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Raptor: <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by WLKRAS: *walks in wearing shorts, a t-shirt and a bad sunburn* </div></BLOCKQUOTE> Does the T-shirt feature your ICQ number </div></BLOCKQUOTE> Mailed it tbh, 89-171-232 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chonner Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 free drinks? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Chonner: free drinks? </div></BLOCKQUOTE> drinks are indeed on the house Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Chonner: free drinks? </div></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes, you're serving Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 What's the lowest ever attendancy at one of these? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
blanklook Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 *walks in and when no-one recognises him, walks straight to the bar and assumes his traditional position in the misguided hope someone will recognises him* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by blanklook: *walks in and when no-one recognises him, walks straight to the bar and assumes his traditional position in the misguided hope someone will recognises him* </div></BLOCKQUOTE> we don't pay much attention to n00bs But have a drink, and seeing as they're free, I'll get them in Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 <STRIKE>Ladies and</STRIKE> gentlemen Welcome to Cape Town, South Africa for our annual awards show. Unlike previous years, our organising committee (Raptor) has decided to let the awards coincide with the release of the new Football Manager, which explains the mere 10-month gap since the last awards show. Thankfully, we managed to overthrow the raving mad Russians who took over our awards last year and locked them in at Robben Island. You may wonder why South Africa was chosen to host this unique event. First of all, the FMS Awards committee decided that Africa was due to host it. And naturally, South Africa was a logical choice because of it strong historical ties to the Netherlands. It is here where our proud Orange team will claim their first World Title in four years time. But that is for later. Let’s give a big welcome to our honorary guest tonight, a man who had a big part in ending the apartheid regime. Former President, Nelson Mandela. Mr Mandela is one of many non-FMS guests here tonight, as we are legally contracted to fill our venue to the maximum capacity. Unfortunately, with our lovely forums being as dead as they are, we had to get some outside help for this here event. Thankfully, I see a group of regulars have managed to make the long journey and they will be rewarded with food, all the booze you can drink and some of you get to bring home some awards. Except HD. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Terk: we don't pay much attention to n00bs But have a drink, and seeing as they're free, I'll get them in </div></BLOCKQUOTE> At least he's a nominated n00b Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by WLKRAS: What's the lowest ever attendancy at one of these? </div></BLOCKQUOTE> I think we'll actually do better than last year Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Raptor: <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Terk: we don't pay much attention to n00bs But have a drink, and seeing as they're free, I'll get them in </div></BLOCKQUOTE> At least he's a nominated n00b </div></BLOCKQUOTE> Writing awards are for pussies. FMSer of the Year is where it's at Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 Now, while everyone is sober, we'll get handing out this year's pieces of scrap underway. Normally, we'd have invited PM7 to co-host this event, but people might think they're being rigged (they could be, but not at the amount of money the brown envelopes we received this year) with all his nominations. PM probably hit triple figures in terms of career nominations this year. The usual order in which the awards are presented will apply again tonight: first the miscellanious overall ones, then the geographical ones, and finally the main overall awards. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
chesterfan2 Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 *walks in and when no-one recognises him, walks straight to the bar and assumes his traditional position propping up the bar next to a similarly lost looking individual* "You're first one of these too ?"....."Oh and barkeep, the St.Emilion looks like an interesting choice." Here chesterfan2 adopts the standard awards night practice of third bar stool from the end, glass of whatever the big man is having and don't make eye contact with anyone if you can help it. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
chesterfan2 Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 "Yes barman, 1988 is an acceptable choice. It was a good year in Bordeaux in general." <quietly closes 'Handy Wine Guide'> Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 It's probably fitting to begin the evening with the award for Most Missed FMSer. Looking at tonight's attendance, that could be virtually everyone's that's ever written, but as you all saw during the nomination process, they only come out of the woodwork when they're not nominated Our official nominees, however, are: BrianW Donners Soldout Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 *Takes up usual barkeep role* *Pours chesterfan a glass of Saint-Emilion* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 "edited by Terk" May I assume you got the name of the wine wrong, you barbarian? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 And the winner is BrianW Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Raptor: "edited by Terk" May I assume you got the name of the wine wrong, you barbarian? </div></BLOCKQUOTE> Nah, added * either side of my comment. I'm not that much of a moron. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 *signals barkeep for a drink, preferably a Dutch beer* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 And congrats to Brian, where ever he may be. Fully deserved. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 *Hands WLKRAS a Heineken whilst muttering about the Dutch deserving nothing better* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 Now then, we continue with the award for Best Story Idea The nominees in the category are: The Highly Recommended, Improving Influence of Cold Hard Cash. (Attjen) The Exiles Abroad (Educated Hick) Why We Shouldn't Let Deities Decide How To Run Football (HD) To Boldly Go As Faroe As We Can Go... (Peacemaker7) Sacred Victory (-Xenon-) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
chesterfan2 Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 *Thanks Barkeep for the wine, and asks for a Whisky chaser. Bunnahabhain should be acceptable.* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 Now... I must ask you to take your seats for a second. Wouldn't want anyone to collapse in shock at the history that is about to be made... Seven years in the making, and some would say at least five overdue, we have a first FMS Award for HD! It was a close call, too, but Why We Shouldn't Let Deities Decide How To Run Football (HD) has received most votes. Congratulations Iain. You understand we demand a speech now Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 Congrats indeed long overdue Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 *Hands chesterfan his whisky, compiments him on his selection* And well done, HD. The most overdue award in FMS history, and now we'll have to find another source for shitty jokes. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 And while HD prepares his acceptance speech (if his wife-to-be lets him), we'll carry on with the nominees in a new category. Although "new" isn't really the most suitable tag, since it concerns the Spirit of FMS Award, created by merging the Perseverence Award and Most Underrated Writer Award. Our candidates for 2006 are: <UL TYPE=SQUARE> <LI>Educated Hick <LI>Faramir <LI>HD <LI>Terk Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
chesterfan2 Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 congrats to HD. *waves languidly over at the table where HD should be sitting, but it is curiously empty at the moment. What's going on ?????* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 And the winner is, rather surprisingly i might add, Educated Hick Well done Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 *gives up barkeep duties* It's pour your own from now on, lads. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 Congratulations, Mr Hick Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 [intermezzo] As you may know, Cape Town will be one of the cities hosting matches in the 2010 World Cup. Not far from here, on a stretch of land that is still empty at this point, the brand new African Renaissance Stadium will be erected with a capacity of 68,000. If it will actually be completed on time, is anyone’s guess, although rumours that it is being built by the same construction company that is building the new Wembley are unfounded. Let’s hope the stadium isn’t… [/intermezzo] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 Did a post from Craptor just go missing? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 And we continue on with the award for Best Challenge The Nominees: <UL TYPE=SQUARE> <LI>The Challenge Of The Ages (BobBev) <LI>We Were Once Great (JackSouth) <LI>Basque Supremacy (Peacemaker7) <LI>Auld Alliance (Terk) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 Shambles, Dutchy, shambles. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Terk: Did a post from Craptor just go missing? </div></BLOCKQUOTE> Nope, not mine Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Terk: Did a post from Craptor just go missing? </div></BLOCKQUOTE> Any rumours of missing posts is grossly exaggerated Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 And our annual tie (there's always one, isn't there?) is between The Challenge Of The Ages (BobBev) and Auld Alliance (Terk) So another two award winners for the list then. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 That concludes the Miscellanious Overall Awards part. In five minutes, we will move on to the Geographical ones. In the mean time, get those drinks in, because the Scots contingent is well ahead of the rest and we're running out of booze at an alarming rate. Thank Æ’uck the Russians aren't actually here tonight! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 *Gets up on the bar and dances. Badly* I'm honoured to sneak in on Bob's annual award. In future years this should really be named after the old man. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 *gets himself another beer in this short break* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 While my partner in crime has his third shandy of the night (record?), I'll do the long, hard work of announcing all nominees in the Best International Management Story... <UL TYPE=SQUARE> <LI>Belfast Dreams (Educated Hick) <LI>To Boldly Go As Faroe As We Can Go... (Peacemaker7) Doesn't really justify a LIST tag, does it? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLKRAS Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 And the winner is, in a 10-3 landslide victory, To Boldly Go As Faroe As We Can Go... (Peacemaker7) Another one for PM Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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