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Its Hardly Any Effort for FMS


mark wilson27

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Authors Notes: Game played on FM1O, with only English Leagues loaded from Blue Square North/South. Loaded large database

Hardly Athletic FC:

Founded in 2005 but never got any sort of League recognition till now, When Russian multi Billionaire Richius Basturd took over the club, he made his money in the lucrative Vodka business. With his money he has built a brand new stadium with has been named The Biscuit tin. He has also somehow managed to get the Hardly Athletic team into the League. However the FA have will only let the team join in the Blue Square North. The Chairman has brought in a new manager with Russian manager Iam Yousless taking the job.

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Its now time to meet the players:-

Players Preview: Part One:

Habte Chaha (Makonnen)

Our young Ethiopian Goalie has come from nowhere to get a place in the Hardly Athletic squad. Not is much known about him since he came over from the States. However after alittle research we have found out that he is slightly eccentric and takes after Tim Howard but without the tourrets

George Burgess (Burgess Basso)

Another import from across the pond as we welcome George Burgess from Mexico. His name is pronounced Horje in your best Mexican accent. A well known keeper from where he comes from but will have to prove his worth to the Hardly Athletic fans

Mark Wilson (markwilson27)

He might not be known too well in footballing circuits but is well known by the local police for his drunken antics. However has stated his intentions to make a name for himself for the right reasons. Will be sharing his duties with in the Goalkeeping department

Terry Owens (tenthreeleader)

Has a reputation in America and has picked up the name as Terry “The Impaler” Owen. Is very patriotic to his national team of America. Will never hold back in a tackle and isn’t afraid to put himself were it hurts. Will be play at the centre of defence and can play as a sweeper

Supat Carl Goatsburg (SCIAG)

Comes with dual nationality with his mother being Thai and his father being Swedish. However mention anything about internet brides and he will rip you a new one. Can play across the defence and will be a versatile member of the squad

Mike Kowalski (Celtic_1967)

Another one that can play across the defence and has a typical Scottish attitude of tackle first ask questions later. Will fit into the squad perfectly but will we need a translator for his harsh Scottish accent

Luca Schnitzel (Satio)

A young German defender who can play in any position in the back line. Very efficient at what ever he does but don’t expect any sort of humour from him, after all he is German

Ben Arsenal (BenArsenal)

Another player with dual nationality as his father originates from Singapore and his mother comes from England. Plays on the right of defence but has no left foot at all. He will always give 100%. Never one too shy away from a tackle. Will fit well into the squad

Gavel Spavlachenko (Spav)

Ukrainian player who can play on the left of defence and midfield. However he needs to learn the language quickly, hopefully he wont take lessons off Mike Kowalski

Chris de Bruijn (WLKRAS)

A flying Dutch/Englishman who will be plying his trade down the left wing. Not scared to get forward or track back. Has a reputation though as a man of the night, lets hope this doesn’t affect his football

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Players Preview: Part Two:

Steve Stoehr (stoehrst)

Defensive American midfielder with a vicious streak which could get him trouble, however I have no worries about this as I know he will give everything to the cause. Looking forward to see him play

Stuart Saville (minisav)

Comes down from Scotland and will play in the centre of midfield, has both an attacking and defensive mind. Has a lot of competition in midfield

Ashley Marks (ManxieAsh)

The Welshman can play across the midfield and is good with both feet, has stated that he hopes he could emulate Ryan Giggs but has got along way to get to that sort of status. However he is very ambitious

Marc Samedan (Mametz1536)

The midfielder from Switzerland, new to the shores but has impressed so far in the build up to this season. He however cant kick with his left foot but surely makes up for it with his right foot

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Players Preview: Part Three:

Ishu (Ishu)

Comes over from India to play on the right of midfield. Very attack minded and will cause no end of problems down the wing. Looking forward to see how he adapts to our game

Chester Fantu (Chesterfan2)

Another dual nationality player in the team as he is able to play for both Armenia and America. Will be playing on the right of midfield. Not scared to attack and will hopefully grab us a few goals from the midfield

Gennaro Bear (Gennaro08)

The Italian maestro by reputation but ill have to prove that to the Hardly Athletic fans and media. A very slick player who will play as an attacking midfielder

Panpardus (Panpardus)

Full name Panpardus Ronnie Rivaldo Ronaldo, as you’ve guessed with a name like that he comes from Brazil, but has an Australian father, hopefully he will have picked up the silky skills of the Brazilians. The question is will he be able to cope with the weather of England and not get homesick

Arthur Anymoredohnuts (salkster2102)

An out and out English striker who will hopefully put fear into the hearts of the opposition defence. Would love to be as good as his idol Robbie Fowler. We will see if he can get near that sort of talent

Fling-Flong Tikle-Wok (gavrenwick)

Not a lot is known of our striker as The North Korean government will let any details of his coming out. From what I’ve seen though I can see he will be a great player for us

Danny O’Toole (BobBev)

An Irish striker who will waste no time in finding the local bar when he is old enough. Very ambitious player though but hopefully he will doesn’t get too big for his boots.

James Scottlee of Hesselink (Scottlee)

The Dutch master with a long name. Will be upfront with and will hopefully join the Dutch greats in the game. Will be looking forward to see how he gets on in the team

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  • 2 weeks later...

At Mark's request, I've re-opened the thread and removed all posts from his original squad list downward.

This will undoubtedly depress those who either posted brilliant witticisms to the thread or who are post boosters. :) Or perhaps both!

Carry on.

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Thanks tenthree for reopening this and faffing about deleting all the old posts. Just quickly I will not be doing a full match report for the friendlies as I wanted to get the League action quicker.. All players are now 19 instead of 16 as in the previous save and everyone has there second/third nationality as English, but for those who stated who'd they'd prefer too play for I have set you as declared for that nation

Cheers for all the patience in waiting for me too sort this out

July 13th: We had our first friendly as we faced a game with GH Academy. We were the better team from the start and on the 17th minute we went into the lead as Panpardus fired in from outside the area to give the opposition keeper no chance of saving. We carried on the forward pressure but it took till the first minute of extra time to grab the next goal as C.de Bruijn curled the ball past the Academy keeper. GH Academy were just not up too the task and on the 66th minute we grabbed the next goal as A.Anymoredohnuts headed home from close range to give us a 3-0 victory.

The Man of the Match Award will be going to T.Owens for controlling a lot of the play, other news from the game though sees S.Saville out of action for three weeks after damaging his elbow during the game

GH Academy 3-0w (Panpardus 17, C.de Bruijn 46, A.Anymoredohnuts 66)

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July 15th: We started the game well against Aylesbury and on the 6th minute we went into the lead as A.Anymoredohnuts ran into the area and fired past the keeper. Two minutes later we doubled our lead as D.O’Toole headed home from a corner. We were controlling the game and on the 38th minute we added a further goal as J.Scottlee of Hesselink fired in after a great run. It took till the second half for us too grab the final goal as A.Anymoredohnuts hit home from inside the six yard box to give us another convincing victory.

The Man of the Match Award will be going to J.Scottlee of Hesselink for his double strike and the way he gave 110% to everything.

Aylesbury 4-0w (J.Scottlee of Hesselink 6, 38, D.O’Toole 8, A.Anymoredohnuts 54)

July 18th: Our next friendly sees us facing an away trip to play Bamber Bridge. We started well as on the 4th minute D.O’Toole grabbed a goal from nothing. Ten minutes later he doubled his and our tally with another well hit effort from the edge of the area. On the 18th minute D.O’Toole grabbed his hattrick as he ran into the area and fired past the Bamber Bridge keeper with ease. It was becoming a one man show and on the 45th minute he fired in yet another goal which gave the opposition keeper no chance of saving. The second half was alittle more subdued and as Bamber Bridge managed to actually get the hold of the ball more. Just after the hour the opposition grabbed their only goal with a simple tap in after some poor defending by my whole team. With two minutes in the game remaining we grabbed goal number five as D.O’Toole did the honours from inside the area to cap a brilliant game for himself.

The Man of the Match Award will be going to D.O’Toole plainly because of the five goals he scored.

Bamber Bridge 5-1w (D.O’Toole 4, 14, 18, 45+1, 88)

July 21st: Injury news sees G.Spavlachenko out of action for around a month after damaging his foot in training

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July 13th: We had our first friendly as we faced a game with GH Academy. We were the better team from the start and on the 17th minute we went into the lead as Panpardus fired in from outside the area to give the opposition keeper no chance of saving. We carried on the forward pressure but it took till the first minute of extra time to grab the next goal as C.de Bruijn curled the ball past the Academy keeper. GH Academy were just not up too the task and on the 66th minute we grabbed the next goal as A.Anymoredohnuts headed home from close range to give us a 3-0 victory.

The Man of the Match Award will be going to T.Owens for controlling a lot of the play, other news from the game though sees S.Saville out of action for three weeks after damaging his elbow during the game

GH Academy 3-0w (Panpardus 17, C.de Bruijn 46, A.Anymoredohnuts 66)

July 25th: Our next friendly sees my team facing Aveley. Compared to our previous friendlies we were alittle bit more cautious. It took till the 29th minute for us to grab the opening goal as C.Fantu whipped in a freekick after a foul on A.Marks. The second half was much the same and on the 79th minute we conceded a silly goal as S.Carl Goatsburg pulled down an Aveley player in the area for a penalty which the Aveley attack fired in with ease. However there was one last goal in the game as very deep into injury time we grabbed the winner with Ishu firing in a penalty after D.O’Toole was hauled down in the area.

The Man of the Match Award will be going to C.Fantu after he did brilliantly in midfield

Aveley 2-1w (C.Fantu 29, Ishu 90+7)

July 30th: Injury news sees S.Saville coming back from his injury, he will however not be coming straight back into the team as he needs to get back to match fitness

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Sorry about the quick posts, just want to get to the League reports quickly after the previous game

Satio - aslong as D.O'Toole keeps this form into the League I will be happy manager

July 31st: We now faced our final friendly against Tamworth and on the 20th minute the first goal went in as Tamworth hit us on the counter and fired past the keeper. Straight from kick off we were dispossessed and Tamworth hit there second goal. It wasn’t looking good and just after the half hour they had the chance for a further goal as they were awarded a penalty, luckily for us the penalty was pretty poor and went well wide of the upright. On the 35th minute though we pulled a goal back as D.O’Toole showed some pace to run into the area and fire past the keeper. However five minutes later we conceded again as some poor defending saw Tamworth heading in. On the stroke of half time we pulled goal back as J.Scottlee of Hesselink headed home a Panpardus freekick after T.Owens was fouled on the way to goal. The tackle resulted in T.Owens having to be replaced. The second half was in truth very quiet with nothing of note to report.

The Man of the Match Award will go to D.O’Toole for being a constant menace to the Tamworth defence. The game however has cost us the services of T.Owens for around 3-4 weeks after receiving a gash on his leg

Tamworth 2-3 L (D.O’Toole 35, J.Scottlee of Hesselink 45)

August 3rd: Before the start of the Blue Square North season I have to do one last thing and that is decide who my Captain and Vice Captain are, after some time talking to my coaches I have made my decision as M.Kowalski will be my Captain and my Vice Captain will be A.Marks

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August 8th: Vauxhall v Hardly Athletic FC: Blue Square North (1/42)

We now faced our first game and we started the better. On the 7th minute we had our first chance of the game as A.Marks curled the ball into the area and F.F.Tikle-Wok headed towards goal but his header was easily saved by Vauxhall keeper. On the 16th minute we grabbed the lead as D.O’Toole showed some great composure to run into the area and round the keeper to slot into an empty net. Eight minutes later we had another chance to score as D.O’Toole again came close to scoring but his effort was well saved. We were controlling the game and on the stroke of half time we had our next chance as a long ball over the top by B.Arsenal saw F.F.Tikle-Wok one on one with the keeper but the keeper reacted well and smothered the ball at his feet.

Half Time Score 0-1

The second saw the introduction of S.Saville and Panpardus, in place of C.Fantu and Stoehr. Vauxhall started the half the better as we just seemed to struggle to get going. On the 68th minute Vauxhall grabbed the equaliser as L.Furlong headed past H.Chaha after the defence failed to deal with a cross. Eight minutes later Vauxhall went into the lead as K.Noon beat my defence with a mazy run to fire under the keeper. On the 77th minute we were given the chance to get back on level terms as D.O’Toole was tripped in the area for a penalty, L.Schnitzel stepped up for the kick and hit it towards goal but the Vauxhall keeper guessed right and tipped the ball onto the post. However the chance seemed to boost my players and we began to get back control of the play and deep into injury time we had another chance to score as C.de Bruijn was brought down in the area for another penalty, this time A.Marks stepped up for the kick and fired in past the Vauxhall keeper to give us a share of the points

Vauxhall 2 L.Furlong 68, K.Noon 74

Hardly Athletic FC 2 D.O’Toole 16, A.Marks 90+4 pen

Players: H.Chaha, B.Arsenal, M.Kowalski, S.Carl Goatsburg, L.Schnitzel, C.Fantu (45-S.Saville), C.de Bruijn, S.Stoehr (45-Panpardus), A.Marks, F.F.Tikle-Wok, D.O’Toole

Post Match Review: A very good game as we controlled most of the first half. The second half was fine apart from a couple of goals but I can live with that. The Man of Match Award will be going A.Marks who ran the midfield very well

August 11th: International news sees G.Burgess play 90 minutes for Mexico Under 20’s in there 1-0 victory if the USA Under 20’s.

S.Saville and M.Kowalski both played 45 minutes for Scotland U21’s in there 3-2 victory over Norway, M.Kowalski was handed the Captains armband when he came on

August 14th: Injury news sees G.Spavlachenko returning to full training after his injury

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August 15th: Hardly Athletic FC v AFC Telford: Blue Square North (2/42)

We again started well and on the 17th minute we had our first chance of the game as F.F.Tikle-Wok came close with a rasping effort which had the Telford keeper scrambling along the line to save. Nine minutes later we had another chance with D.O’Toole running past his marker but before they had the chance to shoot the Telford keeper had smothered the ball. On the 37th minute Telford had the first chance of the game with a rasping effort from the edge of the area but H.Chaha managed to tip the effort round the post. Just before the stroke of half time we got the lead as B.Arsenal headed in a powerful header from a A.Marks cross.

Half Time Score 1-0

The second half began with a couple of changes as Ishu and A.Anymoredohnuts came on for C.Fantu and D.O’Toole. However like the previous game we struggled to get going and on the 57th minute Telford grabbed the equaliser as C.Moore ran between M.Kowalski and S.Carl Goatsburg to fire into the net. Two minutes later we conceded again as A.Brown fired past H.Chaha from outside the area. On the 66th minute though we got back onto level terms as A.Anymoredohnuts ran onto a B.Arsenal cross to fire past the Telford keeper. Nine minutes later we had the chance to take the lead as F.F.Tikle-Wok headed towards goal from close range after a great cross by B.Arsenal. With five minutes remaining we were reduced to ten men after L.Schnitzel received his second yellow. The numeral difference counted as on the stroke of full time we conceded the winner as G.Cowan showed his pace to beat the defence.

Hardly Athletic FC 2 B.Arsenal 44, A.Anymoredohnuts 66 L.SCHNITZEL SO 852Y

AFC Telford 3 C.Moore 57, A.Brown 59, G.Cowan 90

Players: H.Chaha, B.Arsenal, M.Kowalski, S.Carl Goatsburg, L.Schnitzel, C.Fantu (45-Ishu), C.de Bruijn, S.Stoehr, A.Marks, F.F.Tikle-Wok, D.O’Toole (45-A.Anymoredohnuts)

Post Match Review: A reasonable game in truth despite the loss. I was happy with the way we never really gave Telford too much of the ball, however they made there chances count. The Man of Match Award will be going to B.Arsenal who defended reasonably well and attacked very well.

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Habte Chaha sat, head bowed, in front of a small shrine he created in his room. A cardboard box on it's end, on top of which were candles, wax dripping down the edges and a set of statuary: a copper Ganesh, a plastic hula dancer, a small plastic doll of Sigmund Freud, a photo of Elvis (early Elvis). He bowed his head in shame, and picked up the long, slightly undercooked, strip of noodles.

"May I be forgiven for my goal-allowing sins."

THWACK! The noodle slapped against his bare back. THWACK!

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Cheers for all the comments guys, but Mak I've got a reallly bad image of you in my head now and I've been put off noddles forever :D

August 18th: Hardly Athletic FC v Northwich: Blue Square North (3/42)

Northwich started the better and on the 7th minute they had there first chance with a great run between my two central defenders but luckily nor them G.Burgess spotted the danger and bravely smothered the ball at the attackers feet. Ten minutes later we gain came under pressure as a long ball over the top saw there attacker clear of the defence but somehow S.Carl Goatsburg got back and slid the ball clear. We weren’t getting much of the ball and on the 32nd minute we again nearly came undone as G.Burgess flapped at a cross but S.Carl Goatsburg cleared off the line. Just before the break Northwich had there final chance of the half with a thunderous effort which had G.Burgess at full stretch to save the effort.

Half Time Score 0-0

Within three minutes of the restart we had grabbed the opening goal but unfortunately for us it was an own goal as G.Spavlachenko diverted a vicious cross past G.Burgess. However my players responded well and we finally had a patch of play were we dominated. On the hour we had our first proper chance of the game as J.Scottlee of Hesselink ran past the Northwich defence to fire towards goal but the keeper managed to save well. On the 64th minute I made the first change as A.Anymoredohnuts was replaced by D.O’Toole. Six minutes later we had our next chance as A.Marks tried his luck from the edge of the area but the Northwich keeper managed to tip the ball around the post. With ten minutes remaining in the game we grabbed another goal and this time it was in the correct net as a S.Carl Goatsburg cross was headed past the keeper by substitute D.O’Toole. On the stroke of fulltime we should of won the game as J.Scottlee of Hesselink missed an clear cut chance to score after the Northwich keeper spilt a D.O’Toole shot.

Hardly Athletic FC 1 D.O’Toole 80

Northwich 1 G.Spavlachenko og 48

Players: G.Burgess, B.Arsenal, G.Spavlachenko, S.Carl Goatsburg, M.Kowalski, C.Fantu, C.de Bruijn, S.Saville, A.Marks, J.Scottlee of Hesselink, A.Anymoredohnuts (64-D.O’Toole)

Post Match Review: A reasonable draw considering how poorly we played in the opening forty five minutes. The midfield need to start getting back more to help the defence. The Man of Match Award will be going to S.Carl Goatsburg who played a blinder in defence and showed the midfielders how to use the ball in an attacking sense

August 20th: Injury news sees T.Owens coming back from his injury, he will be starting full training from today

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Tenthree I finally watched the link you posted earlier, couldnt stop laughing brilliant

August 22nd: Farsley v Hardly Athletic FC: Blue Square North (4/42)

We got off to a great start as on the 14th minute we went into the lead as S.Saville made the most of some woeful Farsley defending to fire in from just inside the area. Three minutes later we were two goals to the good as A.Anymoredohnuts showed some skill to meg the Farsley defender and fire past the keeper. We were looking extremely comfortable on the ball and just after the half hour we had another chance to score as J.Scottlee of Hesselink ran onto an A.Marks throughball but his effort was tipped round the post by the keeper. Just before the we had our final chance of the half as C.Fantu ran down the wing and curled in a brilliant cross which was headed towards goal by A.Anymoredohnuts but the Farsley keeper reacted well and saved.

Half Time Score 0-2

The second half was six minutes old when I was forced into a change as S.Saville picked up a strain and was replaced by Panpardus, I also made another change with D.O’Toole coming on for J.Scottlee of Hesselink. We continued to control the game and on the 64th minute we had another chance to extend our lead as A.Anymoredohnuts headed into the arms of the keeper when he really should of done a lot better. Ten minutes later we had yet another chance to score as A.Marks fired in from long range and the Farsley keeper spilt the ball but D.O’Toole didn’t react quick enough and failed to fire in the rebound. We were piling forward at every opportunity and on the stroke of full time we were given a great chance to score as A.Anymoredohnuts was brought down in the area for a penalty, A.Marks stepped up for the kick and fired it past the Farsley keeper with ease to give us our first victory

Farsley 0

Hardly Athletic FC 3 S.Saville 14, A.Anymoredohnuts 17, A.Marks 90+1 pen

Players: G.Burgess, B.Arsenal, G.Spavlachenko, S.Carl Goatsburg, M.Kowalski, C.Fantu, C.de Bruijn, S.Saville (inj 51-Panpardus), A.Marks, J.Scottlee of Hesselink (51-D.O’Toole)

Post Match Review: Well done guys a brilliant performance and result, we just need to keep this level of performance and I’ll be a happy Gaffer. However the victory came at a cost as S.Saville will be out of action for around 4-5 weeks after straining his groin. The Man of the Match Award will be going to A.Anymoredohnuts for his dominant performance upfront

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August 29th: Hardly Athletic FC v Harrogate: Blue Square North (5/42)

We were the better team from start to finish as we gave Harrogate didly squat of the ball. On the 18th minute we had our first chance as C.de Bruijn crossed in for A.Anymoredohnuts who headed just wide of the post. Six minutes later we had another chance as M.Samedan curled the ball round the keepers arms but the ball wouldn’t curl enough and went just wide of the post. It was becoming more of a training match for my players and on the 38th minute we made the breakthrough as A.Anymoredohnuts fire into the open net after the keeper flapped at a C.de Bruijn cross. Just before the break we had another chance as A.Marks ran onto a G.Bear throughball but he mishit the ball and it went wide of the post.

Half Time Score 1-0

We carried on the domination and on the 58th minute we went two goals up as A.Marks fired in a wicked freekick after J.Scottlee of Hesselink was brought down on the way to goal. Three minutes later we added another goal as C.de Bruijn jinked his way into the area and fired a screamer into the bottom corner of the net. On the 69th minute he was at it again as he ran into the area to volley home from close range after the defence failed to deal with G.Bears cross. Harrogate just hadn’t turned up and on the 87th minute we should of grabbed another goal but the referee ruled out A.Marks effort for an offside, too me he looked onside but we’ve got all three points so I can deal with it

Hardly Athletic FC 4 A.Anymoredohnuts 38, A.Marks 58, C.de Bruijn 61, 69

Harrogate 0

Players: G.Burgess, B.Arsenal, G.Spavlachenko, S.Carl Goatsburg, M.Kowalski, M.Samedan, C.de Bruijn, G.Bear, A.Marks, J.Scottlee of Hesselink, A.Anymoredohnuts

Post Match Review: Excellent again lads, we outplayed Harrogate in every aspect and fully deserve the three points. Keep this up lads. The Man of Match Award will go to C.de Bruijn for his double salvo and for his contribution to the demolition

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Blue Square North: End of August:

| Pos                               | Inf   | Team               |       | Pld   | Won   | Drn   | Lst   | For   | Ag    | G.D.  | Pts   | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 1st                               |       | Corby              |       | 5     | 4     | 0     | 1     | 15    | 7     | +8    | 12    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 2nd                               |       | Workington         |       | 5     | 4     | 0     | 1     | 12    | 6     | +6    | 12    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 3rd                               |       | Gloucester         |       | 5     | 3     | 2     | 0     | 10    | 4     | +6    | 11    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 4th                               |       | Gainsborough       |       | 5     | 3     | 1     | 1     | 10    | 6     | +4    | 10    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 5th                               |       | Hinckley           |       | 5     | 2     | 3     | 0     | 11    | 5     | +6    | 9     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 6th                               |       | AFC Telford        |       | 5     | 3     | 0     | 2     | 9     | 5     | +4    | 9     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
[b]| 7th                               |       | HARDLY ATHLETIC FC |       | 5     | 2     | 2     | 1     | 12    | 6     | +6    | 8     |[/b] 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 8th                               |       | Stalybridge        |       | 5     | 2     | 2     | 1     | 7     | 5     | +2    | 8     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 9th                               |       | Southport          |       | 5     | 1     | 4     | 0     | 9     | 8     | +1    | 7     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 10th                              |       | Blyth              |       | 5     | 2     | 1     | 2     | 6     | 6     | 0     | 7     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 11th                              |       | Hyde               |       | 5     | 2     | 1     | 2     | 6     | 10    | -4    | 7     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 12th                              |       | Eastwood           |       | 5     | 1     | 3     | 1     | 4     | 3     | +1    | 6     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 13th                              |       | Droylsden          |       | 5     | 1     | 3     | 1     | 6     | 6     | 0     | 6     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 14th                              |       | Alfreton           |       | 5     | 1     | 2     | 2     | 5     | 7     | -2    | 5     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 15th                              |       | Vauxhall           |       | 5     | 0     | 4     | 1     | 4     | 6     | -2    | 4     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 16th                              |       | Stafford           |       | 5     | 1     | 1     | 3     | 4     | 8     | -4    | 4     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 17th                              |       | Redditch           |       | 5     | 1     | 1     | 3     | 3     | 8     | -5    | 4     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 18th                              |       | Harrogate          |       | 5     | 1     | 1     | 3     | 3     | 10    | -7    | 4     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 19th                              |       | Fleetwood          |       | 5     | 1     | 0     | 4     | 7     | 14    | -7    | 3     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 20th                              |       | Solihull Moors     |       | 5     | 0     | 2     | 3     | 5     | 11    | -6    | 2     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 21st                              |       | Northwich          |       | 5     | 1     | 3     | 1     | 8     | 9     | -1    | -4    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 22nd                              |       | Farsley            |       | 5     | 0     | 2     | 3     | 2     | 8     | -6    | -8    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 10 points deducted from Northwich |       |                    |       |       |       |       |       |       |       |       |       | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 10 points deducted from Farsley   |       |                    |       |       |       |       |       |       |       |       |       | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 

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Play the Bear and he will score (or at least create goalscoring chances for his teammates) - not the most catchiest of songs I admit!

This is what I imagine he looks like:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/theweekinpictures/6175782/The-week-in-pictures-11-September-2009.html?image=1

I wouldn't want to tackle him, or point out it's in fact handball!

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Thanks for the comments again guys, Gennaro I think we have a certain defender like that, he's called Terry Owens :D

September 1st: A.Marks has been awarded The Blue Square North Young Player of the Month

September 5th: International news sees C.Fantu earning his first full cap for Armenia in the 2-2 draw with Bosnia & Herz in a World Cup Qualifier, he played the full ninety minutes and got a rating of 6.8

September 8th: More International news sees M.Wilson playing for Rep.Ireland U21’s in there 6-1 victory of Cyprus, the match was an U21 European Qualifier, he played only forty five minutes and got a rating of 6.9.

C.Fantu played for Armenia in there World Cup Qualifying 0-1 loss against Belgium were he was rated 6.8

September 12th: Blyth v Hardly Athletic: Blue Square North (6/42)

A cracking start saw us a goal up on the 6th minute as J.Scottlee ran onto an A.Marks through all to fire past the Blyth keeper. Nine minutes later we had another chance as A.Anymoredohnuts headed wide of the post from a G.Bear cross. We were running the show and on the 28th minute we had yet another chance as G.Bear again crossed into the area but T.Owens headed over the crossbar. Six minutes later Blyth had the chance to grab the equaliser as there attack ran into the area but before they had the chance to shoot M.Kowalski slid in and cleared the ball. Just before the break we had another chance as G.Spavlachenko headed into the goal from an A.Marks corner but his goal was ruled out after the referee saw a foul on the keeper

Half Time Score 0-1

The second half started with Ishu and Panpardus coming on for M.Samedan and G.Bear. The second half didn’t get off to the best started as T.Owens lunged in on the Blyth attacker, from the resulting freekick R.Dalepon fired in past M.Wilson who reacted alittle slowly. However the team upped the pace and piled forward a lot more and on the 68th minute we had our next chance with J.Scottlee playing a one two with A.Anymoredohnuts to fire towards goal but his effort was well saved by the keeper. On the 77th minute we grabbed the winning goal as A.Marks ran into the area and fired in under the Blyth keeper.

Blyth 1 R.Dalepon 53

Hardly Athletic 2 J.Scottlee of Hesselink 6, A.Marks 77

Players: M.Wilson, B.Arsenal, G.Spavlachenko, T.Owens, M.Kowalski, M.Samedan (45-Ishu), C.de Bruijn, G.Bear (45-Panpardus), A.Marks, J.Scottlee of Hesselink, A.Anymoredohnuts

Post Match Review: A good performance by you lot, barring one slip I again cant complain. The Man of the Match Award goes to A.Marks for his goal and dominance in the midfield

September 14th: Injury news sees S.Saville resuming full training after his recent injury, other news sees the draw for the FA Cup 2nd Qualifying Round and we have been given a home tie against Chasetown

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September 19th: Hardly Athletic v Hinckley: Blue Square North (7/42)

The first half was in truth pretty dire as we struggled with the basics of the game. On the 38th minute we had lour only chance of the half as M.Samedan crossed in for A.Marks but his header went well wide of the post.

Half Time Score 0-0

I made a couple of changes at the start of the half as S.Stoehr and D.O’Toole came on for C.de Bruijn and A.Anymoredohnuts. However the changes seemed to make little difference. On the 77th minute I changed the formation to a 4-3-3. On the 82nd minute we made the break through as M.Samedan fired in a screamer from outside the area after the Hinckley defence let him free in midfield. Two minutes later we grabbed another goal S.Stoehr tapped in from close range after M.Samedan crossed in a low ball into the area.

Hardly Athletic 2 M.Samedan 82, S.Stoehr 84

Hinckley 0

Hardly Athletic: M.Wilson, B.Arsenal, G.Spavlachenko, T.Owens, M.Kowalski, M.Samedan, C.de Bruijn (45-S.Stoehr), G.Bear, A.Marks, J.Scottlee of Hesselink, A.Anymoredohnuts (45-D.O’Toole)

Post Match Review: Not a good game in truth but we did enough towards the end for us to get all three points. The Man of the Match Award will be going to M.Samedan as he was the best of the bunch

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September 22nd: Hyde v Hardly Athletic: Blue Square North (8/42)

We started well and on the 3rd minute we had our first chance as G.Spavlachenko ran down the wing and crossed in for D.O’Toole who headed wide of the post. Nine minutes later we had another chance as F.F.Tikle-Wok fired straight into the keeper arms . We were controlling the early parts of the game and on the 32nd minute we went into the lead as M.Samedan hit home from the corner of the area after the Hyde defence kept on backing away from him. Two minutes later though we were reduced to ten men after C.de Bruijn was sent off for a stupid two footed lunge on the Hyde midfielder.

Half Time Score 0-1

I made one change at the start of the second half as S.Stoehr came on for D.O’Toole and I changed the formation to a 4-4-1. Despite having less players we still controlled the game and on the 57th minute we doubled our lead as M.Samedan again hit home a spectacular effort from outside the area that gave the Hyde keeper no chance of saving. On the 75th minute we had another chance as S.Stoehr tried his luck from 35 yards out but the ball wouldn’t did enough and the ball clipped the top of the crossbar. With eight minutes remaining in the game as conceded a silly goal as S.Mooney showed M.Kowalski a clean pair of heels to fire past M.Wilson in goal

Hyde 1 S.Mooney 82

Hardly Athletic 2 M.Samedan 32, 57

Players: M.Wilson, B.Arsenal, G.Spavlachenko, T.Owens, M.Kowalski, M.Samedan, C.de Bruijn, G.Bear, A.Marks, F.F.Tikle-Wok, D.O’Toole (45-S.Stoehr)

Post Match Review: A good dominant performance. However I am far from happy with C.de Bruijn as there was no need to make that sort of tackle and you will be getting a fine of two weeks wages. The Man of Match Award does however go to M.Samedan for his double strike on goal

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Oh look. Again I'm a second half sub, and as soon as I come on we dominate midfield, earn and protect a lead despite going a man down, and I hit the crossbar. HINT, MR. WILSON.

There will be vodka in it for you if you start me.

Stoehrst, I think you need to take this more seriously. You're uncaring attitude over whether or not you play makes it difficult for Mark to pick you. :D

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September 26th: Hardly Athletic v Chasetown: FA Cup 2nd Qualifying Round

We now had the chance to progress in the cup as we faced Chasetown. As expected we controlled the game from start to finish and on the 13th minute we had our first chance as S.Stoehr came close with a rasping effort but his effort was tipped round the post by the Chasetown keeper. On the 29th minute we had another chance as F.F.Tikle-Wok megged the Chasetown defence but his final effort went just wide of the post. With four minutes remaining in the half we grabbed the lead as T.Owens bravely ran into the area to head home a S.Stoehr corner after D.O’Toole’s initial effort was diverted wide. On the stroke of half time we grabbed a further goal as A.Marks fired in a powerful freekick after D.O’Toole was hauled down on his way to goal.

Half Time Score 2-0

The second half started with me making a couple of changes as S.Saville and A.Anymoredohnuts came on for Panpardus and F.F.Tikle-Wok. We continued to dominate and on the 57th minute we had our next chance as D.O’Toole again came close with a rasping effort which had the Chasetown keeper scrambling along the line to save. On the 70th minute we grabbed another goal as T.Owens barged his way through the defence to slot past the Chasetown keeper. It was becoming far too easy and on the 83rd minute we grabbed another goal as T.Owens grabbed his hattrick with another header from a S.Saville cross. On the stroke of full time we grabbed yet another goal as substitute A.Anymoredohnuts fired past the poor Chasetown keeper to send us through to the next round of the cup

Hardly Athletic 5 T.Owens 41, 70, 83 A.Marks 45, A.Anymoredohnuts 90

Chasetown 0

Players: M.Wilson, B.Arsenal, G.Spavlachenko, T.Owens, M.Kowalski, M.Samedan, A.Marks, Panpardus (45-S.Saville), S.Stoehr, F.F.Tikle-Wok (45-A.Anymoredohnuts), D.O’Toole

Post Match Review: An very good performance as we outclassed lower league Chasetown. The Man of Match Award has to go to defender T.Owens for his hattrick.

September 28th: The draw for the FA Cup 3rd Qualifying Round sees us facing an way trip to Rocester

September 29th: The FA have informed me that C.de Bruijn will be suspended for a further two games due to his sending off against Hyde

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Blue Square North: End of September

| Pos                               | Inf   | Team               |       | Pld   | Won   | Drn   | Lst   | For   | Ag    | G.D.  | Pts   | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 1st                               |       | Gloucester         |       | 8     | 5     | 3     | 0     | 14    | 5     | +9    | 18    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 2nd                               |       | Workington         |       | 9     | 6     | 0     | 3     | 17    | 11    | +6    | 18    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
[b]| 3rd                               |       | HARDLY ATHLETIC FC |       | 8     | 5     | 2     | 1     | 18    | 8     | +10   | 17    | [/b]
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 4th                               |       | Corby              |       | 9     | 4     | 2     | 3     | 21    | 17    | +4    | 14    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 5th                               |       | Gainsborough       |       | 8     | 4     | 2     | 2     | 13    | 11    | +2    | 14    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 6th                               |       | AFC Telford        |       | 8     | 4     | 1     | 3     | 11    | 7     | +4    | 13    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 7th                               |       | Droylsden          |       | 8     | 3     | 4     | 1     | 11    | 9     | +2    | 13    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 8th                               |       | Fleetwood          |       | 9     | 4     | 1     | 4     | 15    | 18    | -3    | 13    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 9th                               |       | Hinckley           |       | 9     | 3     | 3     | 3     | 14    | 11    | +3    | 12    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 10th                              |       | Stalybridge        |       | 8     | 3     | 3     | 2     | 11    | 8     | +3    | 12    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 11th                              |       | Blyth              |       | 9     | 3     | 3     | 3     | 12    | 12    | 0     | 12    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 12th                              |       | Southport          |       | 8     | 2     | 5     | 1     | 12    | 11    | +1    | 11    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 13th                              |       | Hyde               |       | 9     | 3     | 2     | 4     | 10    | 13    | -3    | 11    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 14th                              |       | Vauxhall           |       | 8     | 2     | 4     | 2     | 9     | 9     | 0     | 10    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 15th                              |       | Alfreton           |       | 8     | 2     | 3     | 3     | 7     | 9     | -2    | 9     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 16th                              |       | Harrogate          |       | 9     | 2     | 3     | 4     | 6     | 15    | -9    | 9     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 17th                              |       | Solihull Moors     |       | 8     | 2     | 2     | 4     | 10    | 13    | -3    | 8     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 18th                              |       | Eastwood           |       | 8     | 1     | 4     | 3     | 5     | 6     | -1    | 7     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 19th                              |       | Stafford           |       | 9     | 1     | 3     | 5     | 7     | 13    | -6    | 6     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 20th                              |       | Redditch           |       | 8     | 1     | 1     | 6     | 5     | 16    | -11   | 4     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 21st                              |       | Northwich          |       | 8     | 2     | 4     | 2     | 14    | 14    | 0     | 0     | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 22nd                              |       | Farsley            |       | 8     | 1     | 3     | 4     | 4     | 10    | -6    | -4    | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 10 points deducted from Northwich |       |                    |       |       |       |       |       |       |       |       |       | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| 10 points deducted from Farsley   |       |                    |       |       |       |       |       |       |       |       |       | 
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

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It was midnight. Habte Chaha slipped by the guards, and headed out to the center circle on the field. He wore a bike messenger's bag, and from it took a small figurine of a hula dancer, which he placed reverently at the exact center of the pitch and flicked lightly so the hips began swaying to and fro in metronomic reglularity. He took out four candles, which he placed around the small circle and lit, and then a metal incense holder, into which he placed a piece of charcoal, lit it, and sprinkled incense on top. As the sweet smelling smoke rose into the early morning air, he assumed the lotus position, and closed his eyes, slowly chanting.

Om Padme Om Sri Baba Om Padme Om Sri Wilson Om Padme Om Sri Baba. Let me start let me start let me start. Om Padme Om Sri Baba Om Padme Om Sri Wilson Om Padme Om Sri Baba.

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That, is truly, truly, beautiful Mak :p

Struggling to get a game, thought I might get more action with Saville out, might have to make a pack with Stoey and start injuring a few!

Snap. But then, I suppose thats what you get when you put the ball in your own net. But at least I'm getting paid to sit on the bench, rest my legs and get priority seating for watching the match! And bonus, we're doing well too.

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