So there I was, minding my own bidness, cheerfully mismanaging Killymoon and its untalented band of kids and castoffs into the NI2 dumper when, all of a sudden, one of my boys caught a packet of food poisoning. Against all odds, this got me to thinking: whoa, how very twenty-first century it would be to develop a big database of random personal events to inflict on these derelicts and goose up the immersion a tad as I drove my team resolutely into the toilet. Now I know that I'm scaring the h