Terk Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Good evening and welcome to the 2009 FMS Awards. I’d like to thank our host, President Ahmadinnerjacket, for allowing us to hold our annual party in one of his top secret nuclear facilities, and for providing the transport and blindfolds to ensure that you all arrived both safely and without any knowledge of where you are. I have been informed that, whilst there has been a sham vote to uphold the pretence of democracy, Ayatollah Ali Kahmenei has decreed the victor in each category. Should you wish to protest about this, please feel free to file your complaint with the vigalante mob outside. Ayatollah Kameni is considered a moderate in comparison to our genial host, which means he believes in beheading and stoning, but also recycling. The mullahs at the back of the room are there to ensure that there is no bootleg alcohol brought into the ceremony, though I’m sure some of you have managed to smuggle it in anyway. If you would like to make a donation in place of a cash bar, please make your cheque out to the ‘Iranian Government Energy Fund’. Now please feel free to entertain yourselves in a peaceful, Islamic manner as the presenters of our awards prepare to begin the ceremony. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tenthreeleader Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Firearms strictly prohibited. Alcohol encouraged for those past the age of majority. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
copperhorse21 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 i'm here... Loving it. All of it Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCIAG Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 We kick off at approx. 20:15 (that's "15 minutes time", others) Correction, 10-3- alcohol COMPULSORY for ALL. Even me. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavrenwick Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Muahaha. This is going to be fun. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
copperhorse21 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 apparently we americans are the only ones present? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
weeeman27bob Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Lovely location. I'll just have to have a sheik to drink then. Gedd'it? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
weeeman27bob Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Firearms strictly prohibited. Alcohol encouraged for those past the age of majority. How old's that? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark wilson27 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Mark enters the room holding a parcel full of my new variety of Jaffa Cakes Vodka flavoured Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
copperhorse21 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 good to see the others are now here too and, money is the run of the day....if you have enough, you can buy anything weeman Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardiovascular Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Can I have a Pina Colada please? Or an explosive cocktail? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
copperhorse21 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Can I have a Pina Colada please? Or an explosive cocktail? Where's Tony Stark? Surely, he'll have both? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 25, 2009 Author Share Posted October 25, 2009 Lovely location.I'll just have to have a sheik to drink then. Gedd'it? weeeman is the first to be thrown out for a terrible joke. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark wilson27 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 How about a plutonium vodka, that copuld be fun Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elrithral Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Is there a fridge? White Lightning label says best served chilled. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-Perfect-Fm'er! Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 I've got Coke. There I said it. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCIAG Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Betting bonus: Odds on Terk getting shot for the second year running, 1-1000. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
weeeman27bob Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 I was going to have some Sex on the Beach, but then I realised that it might not be a good idea Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavrenwick Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 39p buys you can of the finest Tesco homebrand lager. Just don't expect to survive the night. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenArsenal Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Hello everybody. Just dropping by in my lovely suit for my first FMS Awards (the first one I've attended anyway) And unfortunately, I have to go now. It has been nice coming here. Good luck everyone! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spav Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Man, it's great to get that blindfold off. My throat's a bit dry as well. [Heads towards bar to see what cheap muck the hosts have made available this year] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tenthreeleader Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 How old's that? Depends on where you live, but you can always get an accurate answer from Mark Wilson Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tenthreeleader Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Mark enters the room holding a parcel full of my new variety of Jaffa CakesVodka flavoured I'll take a dozen please Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
copperhorse21 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Betting bonus:Odds on Terk getting shot for the second year running, 1-1000. Do we place our bets with Wigan's sponsor? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark wilson27 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Age limit, whats one of does... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardiovascular Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 I'll have a bovril. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark wilson27 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 I'll take a dozen please The mullahs at the back will bring them too you Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-Perfect-Fm'er! Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Where the fecks Tehran anyway? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavrenwick Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 I'll have a bovril. I held a Rock Band party once, and made everyone have a shot of bovril vodka. LOL. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCIAG Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Any discussion involving alcohol must be whispered. Bets with bwin, the official sponsor of a major European football team. Mark, fetch me a J2O, and some Jaffa Cakes. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Offspring8 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Yeah, awards are here!....wherever we are! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark wilson27 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 I'll have a bovril. Bovril, bovril how old are you Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCIAG Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Where the fecks Tehran anyway? Capital of Iran. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 25, 2009 Author Share Posted October 25, 2009 Where the fecks Tehran anyway? Iran ......... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spav Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Typical awards evening - Mark Wilson is half-p1ssed already. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tenthreeleader Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 SPECIAL NOTICE Due to the secret nature of this facility, your Esteemed Group of Presenters will be posting as themselves for this year's ceremony. Something about the authorities hating the Capitalist Pig-Dog Oppressors Of The Masses (i.e. Celebrities), noting their undue influence in society. Personally, I couldn't agree more. However, that means you're stuck with us. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted October 25, 2009 Author Share Posted October 25, 2009 Bovril, bovril how old are you We need someone to take over BobBev's stock of Bovril. Doesn't look like his zimmer frame made it this far. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-Perfect-Fm'er! Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Capital of Iran. Lazy bastards couldn't think of an inventive name so just added a T to their name and spelt it a little different! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCIAG Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Good job I speak Arabic, otherwise I wouldn't have known about the killer rubber ducks. Or at least that's what I think he said. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark wilson27 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Not yet Spav, gotta try and flock me Jaffa Cakes first Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCIAG Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Lazy bastards couldn't think of an inventive name so just added a T to their name and spelt it a little different! Brasillia waves. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark wilson27 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 We need someone to take over BobBev's stock of Bovril. Doesn't look like his zimmer frame made it this far. I'll ask my new friends the Mullahs Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobBev Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 We need someone to take over BobBev's stock of Bovril. Doesn't look like his zimmer frame made it this far. It's Horlicks actually you cheeky young scamp. Sorry I'm a bit late - it took me forever to get that bloody camel tied up outside! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
weeeman27bob Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Brasillia waves. As does Mexico City. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCIAG Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Hurry up! . Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spav Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 An excellent turnout so far - it's great to see so many people here already. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCIAG Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 It's Horlicks actually you cheeky young scamp. Sorry I'm a bit late - it took me forever to get that bloody camel tied up outside! Especially blindfolded. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamboJen Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Good luck to all nominated. I'll have another Archers and lemonade... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark wilson27 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Its great too see you here Spav thought you'd gone missing after last years ceremony Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardiovascular Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 It wouldn't be an awards ceremony without Mark being drunk. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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