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100 things I've learnt from Football Manager and the Forums


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45. When you have been mispronouncing a players name on fm and you hear the name irl you keep using your version as you cant break the habbit of the last year.

Couldn't agree with that more

307 - no matter how absolutely useless you are, you will always finish above Derby

308 - regardless of any stats or attributes the opposition keeper will always be amazing

309 - Striker with finishing below 4? he'll be amazing....until you buy him.

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314) A manager who wants to buy a great player can hire a scout who will never be wrong with his judgement, whose name is genie.

315) A player with 1 for long shot can score a crazy beautiful long shot against your team, but not for your team.

316) A player will always kick the ball out of play when he is chasing a ball near the lines, ALWAYS.

317) Kicking the ball to row Z = kicking the ball just past the line...

318) Goalscorers will always start to lift his shirt, looks at ref, and wear it back, but will NEVER take off his shirt and get a yellow card for it.

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319) Even though the commentator says 'he slides on his knees and waves his fists in the air' after a goal, your player will clearly be on two feet just running around with his team mates.

320) It is always possible to unsettle a footballer with a balanced personality by saying he might be a threat in the next game.

321) Games can be postponed when you have two squad players called up for an U19 international but never when you have 6 first teamers away at the Olympics, WCQ play-offs or any other internationals that clash with league games.

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322. Saying "X is a positive influence" will never be a positive influence.

323. Miguel Veloso is not a fat effeminate baby who can't put in the effort to save his life....instead he's a future superstar

324. Mexican clubs have the best youth academies in the world ever, and as such produce Maradonas on a daily basis

325. Goals where a player dribbles past 5 opponents, then hits a screamer into the top corner happen every season at the Conference North level

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326.People moan a lot on the forums

327.Players with 7 for long shots, 2 for creativity and 1 for finishing will invariably score thirty yard volleys against you in the last minute despite you having 27 shots to their two and you are top and they are bottom 2.

328.Vagner Love is a better goalscorer than Wayne Rooney

329.You can't win at Old Trafford or the Emirates, however Derby can easily win 2-0 at Stamford Bridge

330. If you are in financial trouble, offer one of your players for double or triple their price and Man City will buy them.

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333 If you score a goal in Brazil the most excited a commentaor gets is "OOOH what a goal" whereas I always thought that even mundane goals were rewarded with a big "Goooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaallllllll aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa oooooooooooaaaaaaaaaallllllllloloololololololllllllll !

:-)

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333 If you score a goal in Brazil the most excited a commentaor gets is "OOOH what a goal" whereas I always thought that even mundane goals were rewarded with a big "Goooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaallllllll aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa oooooooooooaaaaaaaaaallllllllloloololololololllllllll !

:-)

Off topic: I'd pay to see one of those guys comment golf

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333. If you name your manager persona "Chuck Norris" you will win every game with several goals scored by your 'keeper performing roundhouse kicks to clear the ball straight into the back of the net.

334: Some off these are so funny. I've learnt we've got lots of wannanbe stand ups on the forums

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333. If you name your manager persona "Chuck Norris" you will win every game with several goals scored by your 'keeper performing roundhouse kicks to clear the ball straight into the back of the net.

I think someone is fibbing with that one ;)

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337 - I bet that someone will put Chuck Norris in and start a game - just to check:).........

.............Then they will come on here an complain it doesn't work

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245. When you go abroad on holiday and play football with a Spaniard who takes the **** out of you football-wise, you check FM every year to see if he's there yet.

246. If you have a friend who plays for Queen's Park, you sign him for Rangers.

247. If a player scores a long shot against you, you check his stats to see if he really deserved to.

248. If you see someone do a stepover irl, you quietly resolve to go to the database and add a few points to his flair before starting a new version.

249. You don't need to be nervous watching penalty shoot-outs irl, after all you can reload the save... Damn, wait...

250. You are disappointed when a newspaper gives a player who was only on for 15 minutes 3/10. In your expert opinion, he should start with a 6.

251. You think that if you were in FM, you would probably have a flair of 11, a pace of 14, an acceleration of 16, and a long shots of 8. Being completely realistic and fair. And dribbling of 20.

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348.(where we should be) Leona Lewis makes suprisingly good background music to FM

349.FM stops you from sleeping

350.You deicde to try an join a semi-pro club in the hope of being on the next FM as "the 15 year old wonderkid from feltham"

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357. When praising your striker in media, currently in fantastic form - "oh yes, being the first name of the team sheet", this player will turn goalless and will "not score for 9+ hours of competitive football".

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256. FM10 will need at least 2 patches to be playable for the majority.

257. Someone somewhere will swear they'll wait until the patches have come out before buying FM10, and then end up buying it on the release date anyway and waste 6 months reporting bugs and ultimately regretting they didn't have the patience to wait.

258. That "someone" will probably be me. Again.

;)

Surely you meant:

257. Someone somewhere will swear they'll wait until the patches have come out before buying FM10, and then end up buying it on the release date anyway and waste 6 hours trying to get it authenticated, then 6 months reporting bugs and ultimately regretting they didn't have the patience to wait.

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Surely you meant:

257. Someone somewhere will swear they'll wait until the patches have come out before buying FM10, and then end up buying it on the release date anyway and waste 6 hours trying to get it authenticated, then 6 months reporting bugs and ultimately regretting they didn't have the patience to wait.

Of course! I'd forgotten to switch my brain into FM09 mode. :D

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360. Team talks are dumb.

361. Real life understanding of tactics, playing styles does not translate well to FM understanding of tactics, playing styles (leads to many folks here that reject tactical advice because IRL it makes no sense)

362. Team talks/morale trump tactics. Tactics trump player talent. Talent trumps nothing.

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