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Update 247

Years: 20, Months: 247, Days: 7513

Our managers are already one month into the new year, so let’s examine their performances in January 2029.

Tom Smith’s Arsenal have had a superb month, which has seen them open up a twelve-point lead at the top of the Premier League. They opened with a 2-1 victory over Raúl’s Manchester United, before drawing 2-2 with Newcastle. Next came three wins on the bounce, 2-1 at Chelsea Stadium against Bryan McGuinness’s Blues, 3-1 at Pride Park, and 3-0 at home to relegation-threatened Liverpool. Sadly, Arsenal’s Carling Cup run was cut short, after they could only win 2-1 at home to Leicester, allowing the Foxes to win 1-0 at the Walkers Stadium, and advance on away goals. But their FA Cup campaign remains alive and well, after a 4-2 victory over James Ridley’s Newcastle in the Fourth Round. Craig Robson scored in stoppage time to make the result look that little bit more convincing, and the 34-year-old will be glad to have his name back on the scoresheet.

The Craig Robson-o-meter

Goals this Month: 1

Total Goals: 111

Cost per Goal: £432,432.43

Arsenal face a tough Fifth Round tie in the form of a trip to Old Trafford, while Chelsea travel to Hull, and Swindon host MK Dons in the only all-Championship encounter. Holders Aston Villa host the second division’s third-placed team, Sheffield United. In next month’s Carling Cup Final, Leicester’s opponents will be Everton, who knocked out Chelsea 2-0 on aggregate, including a goalless draw away.

January is, of course, transfer month, and both of our managers did a little bit of trading. Arsenal offloaded two players, selling Ghanaian goalkeeper Joe Asare to Leeds for £575k, and young attacking midfielder Jake Haverson to Leicester for £1.9M. Over in Italy, Lord Weeman’s Napoli sold Tunisian ‘keeper Lassaâd Hosni to Sampdoria for £45k, Brazilian wingback/midfielder Silva to Deportivo for £200k, and Spanish defender Raúl Leiro to Barcelona for a whopping £12M. A further £200k was raised by the half-sale of young centreback Gennaro Gaspari to Catania. Weeman splashed a little bit of his cash on a co-ownership deal for Palermo’s 16-year-old striker Francesco Gabrieli, which cost Napoli £1.3M.

So how did the 60-year-old do this month (that’s Weeman, not Gabrieli)? Very well, it turns out, and he has assuaged the fears of the board with a four-place rise to fourth in the league. Lord Weeman’s side won four from five this month, beating Mantova, Fiorentina, Reggina, and even Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan, 2-1 at the San Siro. The loss came to the league’s second-placed team Juventus, who thrashed Napoli 5-1 at Delle Alpi. However, Weeman won where it counts, beating the Turin side 2-0 in the Coppa Italia Quarter Final. This gives them a Semi-Final tie with Tyler Burrows’s Udinese, while Cool Manager’s Inter face Roma. Napoli, although now four places higher, are no closer to the top spot, with Inter eleven points ahead. They and Juventus are fighting it out for first, while any number of teams currently ranked third through eleventh could get the other two Champions League spots. Nevertheless, Weeman’s board are backing him, for now.

Other than the Carling Cup Final, there is plenty to get excited about next month, not least the resumption of European football. Tom Smith and Ben Cee fight it out, while Napoli face struggling Spanish side Barcelona. Onwards we go!

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7513
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        7513

All Star Top Six – Highest Goal Difference at Current Club

[b] Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club GlDif[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      +1500 *
2nd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       +1040 *
3rd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        + 893
4th [color=#006400]+1[/color] ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      + 673
5th [color=#006400]+1[/color] Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis        + 467
6th [color=#ff0000]-2[/color] MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Real Madrid  + 148

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Update 248

Years: 20, Months: 248, Days: 7541

February has been a good month for our two managers; let’s see how they got on.

For Lord Weeman’s Napoli, ten points from a possible twelve in the league will be considered a nice return for the month. The Italian team beat Vicenza 2-0, Palermo 3-0, and Lazio 4-0, but were held in an away game at Ascoli, which ended 1-1. They also competed in the Coppa Italia, drawing 0-0 away to Tyler Burrows’s Udinese in the first leg of their Semi-Final. Hence they’ll be optimistic of a Final place. Weeman’s side are currently third in Serie A after climbing one place this month, although they are level on forty-eight points with Roma and Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan, who sit below them. Inter lead the league on 57 points, followed by Juventus, with 55.

Tom Smith’s Arsenal are doing even better, and currently command a fourteen-point lead at the top of the Premier League. In February, they got two 1-0 away victories, over Sunderland and Southampton, and a 3-0 home win over Nottingham Forest. All in all, it was a pretty easy month in the league, but the nine points weren’t necessarily guaranteed. Arsenal also made their way into the FA Cup Sixth Round in style, winning 3-1 at Old Trafford in Round Five. It’s another away trip for the Quarter Final, as they face cup holders Aston Villa at Villa Park. In the other cup this month, Frank Lampard’s Everton played Leicester in the Carling Cup Final at Wembley. Everton’s 1-0 half time lead was nullified shortly after the break, only for them to retake the advantage five minutes later. Leicester equalised again, but the Toffees got the win with a winner eight minutes from time.

European football resumed this month, and both our teams had away matches in the Champions League. They both lost, but can be confident of overturning the deficits in the second leg. Arsenal travelled to play Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan, where their 85th minute equaliser through Craig Robson was cancelled out by a 90+3rd minute Milan winner. Lord Weeman’s Napoli played at the Nou Camp, and 97,000 fans saw braces for Barcelona’s Alessio Buratti and for Napoli’s Juan Pablo Valdés. In the end, Barça won 3-2, but two away goals will prove invaluable for Napoli. Elsewhere, Mikael Schøler’s Real Madrid drew 2-2 at his former club Juventus, Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea won 2-1 at dafuge’s Ajax, Cool Manager’s Inter beat James Ridley’s Newcastle 2-0, and Robert Boyle’s Valencia drew goalless away to Zenit Saint Petersburg.

In the Europa League, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese needed away goals to get past Porto, after a 3-3 aggregate draw. Lars Tommersen’s Betis thrashed Norwegian side Lillestrøm, winning 11-0 on aggregate including a 7-0 home victory. Super Lampard’s Celtic were also dominant, beating A.S. Nancy Lorraine 8-3 with a 6-0 win at Celtic Park, where tenacious Spanish defensive midfielder Axier Franco got himself a hattrick. In the Last 16, Betis play Benfica, Udinese play AS Monaco, and Celtic play Atlético Madrid. Holders Roma face Aston Villa.

This time next month, Arsenal might have the title secured. But at the same time, this time next month, both our teams could be out of the Champions League. March is a foreign land; they do things differently there.

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7541
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        7541

All Star Top Eight – Lowest Goal Difference at Current Club

[b] Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club GlDif[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Portsmouth   -   4
2nd NE super_lampard   Super Lampard     Lecce         Celtic       +   5
3rd NE dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Ajax         +   8
4th NE Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Leeds        +  10
5th NE BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter         A.C. Milan   +  35
6th [color=#006400]+2[/color] Ridleys         James Ridley      Siena         Newcastle    +  38
7th [color=#ff0000]-5[/color] PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      +  47
8th [color=#ff0000]-3[/color] Robert_296      Robert Boyle      Blackburn     Valencia     +  74

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Update 249

Years: 20, Months: 249, Days: 7572

The end of the season approaches, and in just a few months’ time our managers can retire to their villas for the summer. In the meantime, however, there is work to be done, so let’s review March performances so that the managers can get on with their April duties.

For Tom Smith’s Arsenal, the truth be told, March was a poor month. Yes, they continued their cruise to the Premier League title, beating Tottenham and Everton and drawing with Fulham, but the league win seems inevitable now, and the Gunners would rather have won in other competitions, letting a few points slide in the domestic sphere. Instead, they got the victories there, but fell short in cups. In the FA Cup, a trip to Villa Park ended in 1-2 defeat to the incumbent holders, with Craig Robson’s 88th minute goal coming too late to effect a comeback. In the Champions League, for all their dominance, Arsenal could do no better than a goalless draw at home to Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan, and so the Italian side advance to the Quarter Finals 2-1 on aggregate. Arsenal are thirteen points clear of second-placed Chelsea in the league, with seven games yet to play, including a game in hand on the Blues.

Down at the bottom of the Premier League, Nottingham Forest have an eight-point estrangement from safety, and so are likely to be in the Championship come next season. Middlesbrough and Fulham sit slightly better off, on 26 points and three from 17th-placed Southampton, but things aren’t looking great for them either. After a strong month this month, with three wins from four, Steve Tilson’s Liverpool climbed to the relative safety of 14th place. In the Championship, Crystal Palace lead the way, with Swindon occupying the other automatic promotion place. Both, however, have yet to secure even playoff places. MK Dons were relegated at the start of this month, as, with 41 games played, they have garnered just four points. Stoke are also down for sure, with West Ham occupying the other relegation spot, and West Brom just above that. The days of Fréderico Canvey, Whoopy Dee and Brucie Bonus seem like glory days in comparison. As for the FA Cup Semi-Finals, Aston Villa will test their wits against Tottenham, while Hull play Q.P.R..

Over in Italy, it’s been a decent month for Lord Weeman’s Napoli, but that hasn’t stopped his side dropping one place to fourth. In the league, they beat Chievo and Cool Manager’s Inter, both 3-0, and Rimini 1-0. They drew with Tyler Burrows’s Udinese, 2-2, and lost to Sampdoria. In the Champions League, however, things didn’t go to plan. Napoli welcomed Luis Enrique’s Barcelona to San Paolo, but, like Arsenal, could only draw despite their dominance, and Weeman’s side left the competition 3-4 on aggregate. At least the league is now a bit closer, with only six points separating Napoli from leaders Juventus. At the same time, however, only seven points separate them from sixth-placed Udinese. Chievo, with ten points, sit bottom of the league and fourteen points from safety. Modena also sit deep in trouble, with eighteen points, but Palermo, on 23, might have a chance of avoiding the drop at Reggina’s expense. Cagliari lead Serie B, with an eleven-point lead over second-placed AlbinoLeffe.

Neilio’s national side played one game this month, a friendly, and they drew 2-2 in Sydney. Last month, the Italians had a better time of it, beating Serbia 7-0 with a hattrick from Valencia’s Juri Rigamonti. Fréderico Canvey’s Spain won their friendly this month, 4-0 over Egypt, which marks an improvement on their loss to Israel last month. They also played a World Cup qualifying game, beating Bulgaria 5-0 on a wet Mallorca. It all kicks off for the Spanish in June, with two qualifying games, and the Confederations Cup in Australia. Tim Aubel’s United States will also be there, in Spain’s group no less; they played two World Cup qualifying games this month, winning 3-1 in Costa Rica and 2-0 at home to Honduras. Last month, the Americans pulled off their best win of the group, achieving a 1-0 victory in Mexico City. Star striker Yoshitaka Kamiya scored four goals this month.

Brettney Joven’s England, naturally, also played international football this month. Competitively, they bolstered their qualification campaign with a 5-0 win over the Montenegrin visitors to Wembley. Derby striker Stephen Hayward scored a brace in his first appearance for his country. England also won 1-0 in Tunisia this month, after their 3-0 friendly victory over Croatia in February. As for the rest of the Dream Team, Robert Boyle and his under 21s lost 1-2 to Montenegro but beat Tunisia 3-1, dafuge’s under 20s won 1-0 in Tunisia, like the seniors, and Maz Armley’s under 19s beat the Montenegrins 3-0 before a six-goal thriller of a draw in Tunis. Samuel Abdallah, an 18-year-old Fulham striker dubbed the next Michael Owen, score three goals for Armley’s team over the two matches.

So we’ve established that our sides have been knocked out of European competition, but how did the other matches go this month? James Ridley’s Newcastle, like Arsenal, were eliminated by Milanese competition, going out 1-2 on aggregate to Cool Manager’s Inter, with both sides keeping clean sheets in their home matches. Juventus were another Italian side to win, defeating the Real Madrid side of their former manager Mikael Schøler 3-2 on aggregate, with a 1-0 win away to the La Liga leaders. Robert Boyle’s Valencia won 2-0 at home to knock out Zenit Saint Petersburg by that scoreline, while Tottenham beat Feyenoord, and Bayern Munich beat Dynamo Kiev. Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea won 4-0 at Chelsea Stadium to dump out dafuge’s Ajax 6-1 on aggregate. In the next round, the Blues face Bayern Munich, while Tottenham meet Inter. The other two matches see Spanish sides against Italian ones, with Juventus meeting Barcelona, and A.C. Milan meeting Valencia. In the Europa League, our three representatives became two, with Super Lampard’s Celtic going out 2-5 to Atlético Madrid. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese face Atlético next, having beaten AS Monaco 3-1 on aggregate. Lars Tommersen’s Betis knocked out Benfica 2-1 with a goalless draw in Portugal, and face Frosinone next.

So Arsenal will be wrapping up the Premier League in the month to come, but that’s all they can hope for. Napoli are in the running for Serie A and the Coppa Italia, but the latter is all they can realistically target. Next month marks 250 months since the managers took over, and we’ll reflect on the fifty-eight bosses that we’ve lost along the way. Until then, goodbye!

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7572
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        7572

All Star Top Five – Oldest Managers (All of these will be top fives from now on)

[b] Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Age[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham                   67
2nd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter         A.C. Milan    66
3rd [color=#0000cd] 0[/color] PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese       65
4th  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis         64
  -  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Portsmouth    64

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Update 250

Years: 20, Months: 250, Days: 7602

250 months is a long time. 250 months before today (18 April 2011), the Soviet Union had beaten Cameroon 4-0 in Italia 1990, a tournament that would later be won by West Germany, a state that would later cease to exist. Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, where Swindon Town had just imploded financially, and where France, Italy and West Germany had just lifted bans on British beef imposed during the BSE outbreak. George H.W. Bush was the American President, and had just signed the Chemical Weapons Accord with Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev.

250 months before the in-game date, sixty managers were embarking upon new and exciting adventures in the job of their dreams, at one of Europe’s top-flight clubs. Since then, 58 of those managers have moved on at least once, and 37 of them have called it quits all together. We’re going to check on the remaining 23, in the order that they finished in 60 to One.

English manager Phill Ewles has enjoyed a relatively successful first season at Leeds, finishing in an unremarkable mid-table position. With two games left to play in the league, the Whites can finish anywhere from seventh to thirteenth. This month was a tricky one, as they played three of the traditional Big Four, drawing with Liverpool and Arsenal, and losing to Chelsea. They also lost to FA Cup finalists Hull. Ewles, who has been at the club for 140 days, is currently understandably Stable.

Following his team’s elimination from the Champions League earlier this year, dafuge has been playing all his games in secret, that is, the Dutch league is invisible to me. The former Everton boss is currently Ajax manager, and the Amsterdam side suffered an undignified European exit to Chelsea. dafuge, 61, is also England under 20s manager; in July they start their U20 World Cup campaign, in a group with Guinea, South Korea and Egypt. Two years ago, the English got to the Second Round, where Italy put them out.

dafuge has a close relationship with his superior, England boss Brettney Joven. She was the first woman to be appointed as manager of a national football team, and said team are currently in the midst of their World Cup qualifying campaign. They sit second in their group, behind Ireland, after losing to their insular opponents at Wembley. Still, England have three home games on the trot next, including a match against bottom-of-the-group Poland. The last two managers, Liam Ferguson and Stuart Pearce, lasted rougly six years in charge, and many are expecting Joven to either quit or be sacked following the World Cup, if England make it to Australia.

We’ll continue the theme of international managers with three more. Robert Boyle is the third member of the Dream Team, in charge of the England under 21s team, who play the European U21 Championship in June. The 59-year-old is also Valencia boss; his side sit 3rd in La Liga and will finish somewhere in the Champions League places. They left the Champions League this month, at the hands of A.C. Milan, but with the financial clout of chairman Mats Ståhl and the dynamism of captain Juri Rigamonti, the future doesn’t look bad. Neilio, who lasted a day longer than Boyle at his original club, is Rigamonti’s manager, and the attacking midfielder/forward has been in fine form for the Italian national team. Said team sit top of their World Cup qualifying group, but Neilio has two tricky away games around the corner. Fréderico Canvey, Spain boss, has no such worries, with three consecutive home games to come, against Scotland, Azerbaijan, and Latvia. Those should put the Spanish a lot closer to qualification, but before those are up, they will have played the Confederations Cup in Australia. It was the country’s poor performance there last time that led to Canvey’s appointment as manager.

Staying in Spain, we’ll look to the top of the domestic league, La Liga. There sits Real Madrid, under the charge of Danish boss Mikael Schøler. Although the side’s European campaign was ended at the hands of Schøler’s former club Juventus, they are set to win the title, sitting thirteen points clear of second-placed Zaragoza with five games left. Since Schøler’s arrival, Real have finished as Champions League runners-up, but this will be the first silverware secured under the Dane.

Schøler started in a similar position to our next manager, James Ridley, at a low-level Italian club, although Ridley lasted 230 days longer. Now, he manages Newcastle, and he does it well. The Magpies are currently fourth in the Premier League, and just a couple of points will secure next season’s Champions League football. They ended March with a 4-0 win over Nottingham Forest, who were later relegated, and they ended this month with a 3-2 victory at Craven Cottage, which sends down Fulham. Next month finishes with a match against Aston Villa, Newcastle’s rivals for fourth place.

Back over to Spain, where we meet Lars Tommersen. The 64-year-old Betis boss is calling it quits at the end of this season, so he wants to go out on a high. That high came four years ago, with a third-placed finish in the league, but he can leave Betis in pretty good shape. They currently sit sixth, and regularly qualify for European competition. Unfortunately, if Tommersen wanted to go out with a Europa League title in tow, that dream was shattered this month; the team were eliminated in the Quarter Finals by Italian side Frosinone, who won 2-0 at home and so continued despite Betis’ own 1-0 victory at Manuel Ruiz de Lopera. Still, the Dane has had a solid and enjoyable 3202 days at the club, and will leave them in good stead for the future. We wish him a happy retirement.

Tommersen will be out of management in a few months’ time, but the next two managers are out of it at the moment, and are eager to get back in. Martin Bojangles has been unemployed for six months now, but counts Tottenham Hotspur, Manchester United, Aston Villa and Hull among his employers, and the Club World Championship, UEFA Super Cup, Champions League, Carling Cup, Community Shield and FA Cup among his honours. With such a glowing CV, he’ll hope for a job offer once the wave of managers leave for retirement this summer. Lawrence Lazewski is similarly experienced, having been in charge of Valencia, Chelsea and Man City, and boasting the same honours as Bojangles, with the Premier League title, Europa League and some Spanish honours to boot. But the 61-year-old has been out of work for five years, and can’t be too optimistic of finally getting back in the managerial hotseat.

Cool Manager, on the other hand, has been at the same club for fourteen years, having lifted fifteen trophies in that time. His Inter Milan side are on the cusp of a seventh league title under his management, and a 27th in their history. They sit four points clear of second-placed Roma with four games to go, and two of their opponents sit 16th and 17th. Manager currently pockets £350,000 a week, and is very happy with it. Our next manager lasted 25 days longer at his original club, but can’t boast of such success; Maz Armley currently coaches the England under 19s, but hasn’t had a club job for over two years. His England squad, boasting the next Michael Owen Samuel Abdallah, play in European U19 Championships qualifying next month, against Turkey, Austria, and Bosnia & Herzegovina. Armley, 63, is approaching the end of his career, and might wish to win this tournament for a fourth time before he retires.

Next we go to Theo Stigarakis, a real journeyman who currently finds himself out of work. After his dismissal from Catania after 1405 days in charge, he moved on to Empoli, before returning to Spain for spells in charge of Athletic and Mallorca, where at the former he got Basque citizenship. He then travelled back to Italy to fail in returning Fiorentina to Serie A, before heading for England and the bright lights of Portsmouth. Sacked, he returned to Spain, and Racing, lifting the second division title, before jumping ship to Leicester and lasting ten months. He then managed Rangers for two-and-a-half years, before Liverpool came calling. A year later, with the Reds miles away from the glory of twenty years earlier, he was sacked, and has been unemployed for the past six months.

Bryan McGuinness, like Cool Manager, is happy and established in charge of his club. He has been Chelsea manager for the past nine years, winning twenty items of silverware in that time. His chairman Roman Abramovich is one year his senior, and is paying him £89,000 each week. A contract renewal and hence a payrise is probably right around the corner, with Chelsea having finished second in the Premier League this season. Okay, that’s terrible in comparison to the past four seasons, when they won the title each year, but it’s not bad, and the Blues are in the Champions League Semi-Final. There, they face Tottenham, but suffered a rather embarrassing 0-3 defeat at White Hart Lane, and hope for a massive victory in the return leg at Chelsea Stadium, which would take them through to the Final to play A.C. Milan or Juventus.

Back to the international scene now, where we go to former Fulham, Portsmouth, Villarreal and Racing manager Tim Aubel. The 63-year-old currently managed the United States national team, and has them in a good position to qualify for the World Cup in Australia next year. One would expect that the American will retire after that, and so he’ll hope for a golden finale. He has lifted three items of silverware in his twenty-year career; two North American Gold Cups, and the Carling Cup with Pompey. Next, it’s over to Scotland, where Super Lampard has been in charge of Celtic for six months. In that time, he has won in the Europa League Last 32 and lost in the Europa League Last 16. Whether the 61-year-old will see out the rest of his career with the club remains to be seen, but given his opportunism in the past; Celtic is his eighth club, it looks unlikely.

Next is a manager who has returned to the city he started in, but at a different club. There was shock when Ben Cee left Inter for Valencia, and indeed, he has struggled to find the security he had at the San Siro, leaving the Spanish Giants after a few turbulent years, and enduring a difficult but short spell at Manchester City. Now, he has A.C. Milan in the Semi-Finals of the Champions League, but must win away to Juventus, or at least draw with three goals or more, to get through. The 2-2 draw at Giuseppe Meazza was a bit of a disappointment, and it does look more likely that the Turin side Juventus will get through instead. Cee also has to concentrate on getting into next year’s Champions League, but as Milan’s final four fixtures consist of two against Napoli and Udinese, fifth and sixth respectively and the club’s challengers for fourth, and Modena and Chievo, 19th and 20th respectively, it is entirely within Cee’s hands.

James Salter is unemployed, and has been for a year and a half now. Following his sacking from Reggina after 2710 happy days of management, he went on to Torino, and then Sporting, Stoke, Athletic, Murcia and Portsmouth, heading back and forth between Spain and England. The 61-year-old, who, like Theo Stigarakis, now has Basque as a second nationality, couldn’t stay at any of those clubs for as long as he stayed at Reggina. His replacement at Portsmouth was Ben Taylor, who has been there for those past eighteen months. He has them in a solid 12th place in the Premier League, but hasn’t mirrored the two consecutive Carling Cup Finals the club reached under Salter’s management. It looks likely that the 64-year-old, who speaks English, Italian and Turkish, will make next season his last at Fratton Park, a ground long in need of replacement.

Another manager in his twilight years is Leo Dodge, but he hasn’t been spending them happily. The 67-year-old has been out of work for four-and-a-half years, having managed Tottenham, Man United and Roma. When he’ll finally call it quits, I don’t know. Next is another former Roma manager, Tyler Burrows, who is also just a year or two away from retirement. He is back at his original club, Udinese, and this month saw the club eliminated from two competitions. Atlético Madrid dumped them out of the Europa League, winning 2-0 in Italy and 3-0 at Vicente Calderón, while Napoli put them out of the Coppa Italia on penalties after both legs of the Semi-Final ended 0-0. Champions League football is almost out of the question for Udinese next season, given that the club are six points behind with twelve available, and face Roma, A.C. Milan and Mantova, 2nd, 4th and 7th respectively, in three of their final four games.

The other Italian club vying for that Champions League spot is Napoli, managed by Lord Weeman. Hopes started to slip away this month, with consecutive losses coming against Parma and Roma. Things recovered, with that penalty victory in the cup, and with a 4-0 thrashing of Modena, but A.C. Milan definitely have the better run-in. The match against Ben Cee’s side is Napoli’s only remaining home fixture, and they face away trips to Mantova, Frosinone and Genoa, 7th, 9th and 11th respectively. Weeman is currently Stable, and should be okay for another season given that Europa League football is secured, with second-placed Roma making their Coppa Italia Final opponents.

We’ll conclude with Tom Smith, who hauled his ninth Premier League title this month. The Gunners drew most of their games this month, against Man City, Leeds, and Q.P.R., but those three points, alongside six for a 2-1 victory over Aston Villa and a 6-0 thrashing of Middlesbrough, were sufficient for the league win. It’s a return to form for the Gunners, after an eight-year estrangement from silverware of any kind, and the future is bright for Smith. He has three years left on his contract, at £245,000 a week, and has some marvellous talent in his team. I won’t say he’ll last another 250 months, but 50 more is definitely likely, and if he can do that, he may well be the last manager standing.

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7602
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        7602

All Star Top Five – Youngest Managers

[b] Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Age[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Spain         55
  -  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Real Madrid   55
3rd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] Ridleys         James Ridley      Siena         Newcastle     57
4th  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] Neilio          Neilio            Almería       Italy         58
  -  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Leeds         58

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Update 251

Years: 20, Months: 251, Days: 7633

With the season done and dusted, let’s take a look at how our managers did in May, starting in England, where Tom Smith’s Arsenal were tying up loose ends.

The Gunners played two games this month. First, they beat Ben Taylor’s Portsmouth 4-0 at Smith Arena, before they travelled up north to Humberside, drawing 1-1 with FA Cup finalists Hull. In the end, Arsenal finished ten points clear of second-placed Chelsea. As for Hull, they gave a pretty poor showing in the FA Cup Final. Opponents Tottenham outshot them three-to-one, and outscored them three-to-one. Italian midfielder Fabio Bonaiuti put Spurs ahead within two minutes, but Hull had it back at 1-1 after a further eleven. Dane Jakob Andersen made it 2-1 in the 22nd minute, and a penalty in the 78th minute compounded the victory for Michael Laudrup’s side. Hull got into Europe regardless; Spurs finished one space above them in the league, in sixth.

In fact, Tottenham’s FA Cup victory was part of a cup double. They played Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan in the Champions League Final at Chelsea Stadium, and thrashed their illustrious Italian opponents 4-0. The first goal went in just before twenty minutes had passed, and the rout was complete with an own goal with fifteen minutes remaining on the clock. A second Champions League in three years for Tottenham, leaving A.C. Milan with nothing since their 2007 victory. Another English side won the Europa League, as Jürgen Klinsmann’s Man City took penalties to win over Mantova after a 1-1 draw. Tottenham’s victory gave them qualification to next year’s competition, at the expense of Newcastle, who finish fourth but only get the Europa League. Fifth-placed Aston Villa join them and Hull. Down at the bottom, Southampton join Nottingham Forest and Fulham in relegation. They’ll be replaced by Crystal Palace, Swindon, and playoff winners Sheffield Wednesday, who beat Swansea 2-1 with a 120th minute winner at Wembley.

Over in Italy, there were still things in the balance for Lord Weeman’s Napoli. The slim chances of Champions League qualification got slimmer by the game; Napoli started the month with defeat at Frosinone, of all teams. They did beat Genoa, Mantova, and even A.C. Milan, but it wasn’t enough, and they finished three points behind Ben Cee’s side. Cool Manager’s Inter lifted the Scudetto, and they were followed by Roma and Juventus. Lazio and Tyler Burrows’s Udinese joined Napoli in Europa League qualification, while Palermo and Modena went down, along with Chievo, whose relegation was secured last month. Cagliari and AlbinoLeffe have booked their places in next season’s Serie A, with another team to join them. Napoli still had the Coppa Italia Final to look forward to.

Road to the Final – Coppa Italia

Napoli’s cup adventure started in the First Round with a tie against Genoa. They despatched their opponents 2-1, giving them a Quarter Final with Juventus. Somehow, Lord Weeman’s side managed to win the difficult match 2-0, putting them into the Semi-Finals where they would face Udinese. Roma, meanwhile, won their First Round match 1-0 over Ascoli, and their Quarter Final 3-1 at Europa League finalists Mantova. They played Inter in the Semi-Final, winning 2-0 at home, and only losing 0-1 away. Napoli drew both legs of their Semi-Final nil-nil, and it took penalties for them to reach the Final.

81,184 fans watched the teams walk out onto the Olimpico turf, and 81,184 fans watched Roma take the lead after just five minutes. Enthusiastic Russian striker Vyacheslav Ushakov fired in a cross from winger Marco Bertacchini, while standing just within the penalty area. Napoli, however, weren’t behind for too long. Although a fifteenth minute corner taken by Hélder Trindade was cleared by a Roma head, the Portuguese Napoli captain crossed the ball back in. This time, the head on the ball was that of Mexican striker Juan Pablo Valdés, who levelled the scores. The match stayed deadlocked for the rest of the first half, and for the first half and hour of the second. Then, however, Roma took the lead once more, with Argentina winger José Luis Moreno capitalising on the space granted to him by the Napoli defence, to loft the ball in from just outside the penalty area. This time, there was no Pablo Valdés to bag another equaliser (well, there was, but he didn’t). Roma ran out 2-1 winners, lengthening Napoli’s estrangement from the Coppa Italia title to three years.

Over in Spain, Mikael Schøler’s Real Madrid sealed their La Liga victory with a 2-1 win at the Nou Camp, and ended up finishing twelve points clear of second-placed Zaragoza. Robert Boyle’s Valencia and Barcelona also qualified for the Champions League. Lars Tommersen’s Betis finished sixth, and so joined Atlético Madrid and Mallorca in qualifying for the Europa League. Racing, Albacete and Valladolid were relegated.

So what will summer bring? For our managers, a chance to relax, some just for the month or two, others for good, as another of our managers hangs up his boots for good. International football beckons; England, Spain, Italy, and the United States all play World Cup Qualfiying, and Spain and the Americans also meet in the Confederations Cup. There’s international football on the junior level too, so all the Dream Team will be in action in some way or another. Of course, the transfer market is set to open, so next season is guaranteed not to be the same as this one. And thank heavens, too, because another season like this one might not be the best thing for Lord Weeman and his rapidly-receding hairline.

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7633
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Insecure      7633

English Premier League

Italian Serie A

All Star Top Five – Highest Fee Spent

[b] Pos +- Username     Manager          Original Club Current Club Player               Fee[/b]
1st [color=#0000cd] 0[/color] tomsmith1989 Tom Smith        Arsenal       Arsenal      Craig Robson#     £48  M *
2nd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] el sid       Cool Manager     At. Madrid    Inter        Carmine Bernini#  £40  M
3rd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] BenArsenal   Ben Cee          Inter         A.C. Milan   Cristiano Ronaldo £30.5M
4th [color=#006400]+1[/color] weeeman27bob Lord Weeman      Napoli        Napoli       Matt Taylor#      £28  M *
5th [color=#ff0000]-1[/color] ~Ian~        Bryan McGuinness Everton       Chelsea      Carlos Vela       £27  M

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Update 252

Years: 21, Months: 252, Days: 7663

Our managers have now been at their clubs for twenty-one years. If they had newborn children at the start of their tenure, those children would now be graduating from university. In fact, Mikael Schøler’s son Jakob, who was four at the start of Schøler’s Bologna tenure, is now 25 and plays for Brøndby. For some reason, Schøler was living in Turin five years before he started at Bologna.

June has been all about international football. I figure we should start with the most prestigious competition, the Confederations Cup. Representing Europe was Fréderico Canvey’s Spain, and Tim Aubel’s United States were there for North America.

First, however, the other group. Group A saw two South American sides and two Oceanic sides, and although you might think the winners would be clear, it wasn’t necessarily so. New Zealand finished bottom pretty easily, losing 2-3 to Australia, 0-2 to Brazil, and 1-4 to Argentina. But among the others, things were more even. Argentina beat Australia 3-1 but lost 2-3 to Brazil, and Australia beat the Brazilians 3-2. Ultimately, Argentina topped the group, with Brazil second, and Australia frozen out on goal difference.

Fréderico Canvey’s Spain started their tournament badly. A goal from Naoya Sato and another from AZ Alkmaar midfielder Ryo Noguchi gave Japan a 2-0 win over their Iberian opponents in the opening match. Spain did bounce back, however, with a 4-0 win over Tim Aubel’s United States, but struggled again in a match against Côte d’Ivoire, which finished 1-1. Japan beat the Ivorians 2-1, and ended with a goalless draw against the Americans, thus going through on seven points. The Americans had beaten Côte d’Ivoire 2-1 in their first game, but goal difference was against them, and Spain went through in second place.

The Semi-Final saw the Spanish pitted against World Cup holders Argentina. The win came surprisingly easily, with Barcelona’s José Ángel giving his nation the lead in the seventh minute, and Diego Carrasco making it 2-0 Spain in first half stoppage time. Brazil, meanwhile, took a little more trouble to win. Sato gave them the lead with an own goal in the 18th minute, but Noguchi levelled things in minute 66. Noguchi then missed a penalty in extra time, allowing Brazil’s Ronald to score the winner with just four minutes on the extra time clock. Japan did get some consolation in the Third Place Playoff, beating Argentina on penalties after a 1-1 draw. Naoya Sato gave Japan the lead in the second minute, but Real Madrid’s Emanuel Páez made it 1-1 five minutes later. Little else happened, but Japan slotted home four of their penalties, as opposed to Argentina’s three. The Final takes place next month.

Next then, we’ll move down to World Cup Qualifying, and go continent-by-continent. Africa is still early on in the final stage of its qualification, but at this moment in time, the groups are led by Côte d’Ivoire, Ghana, Algeria, South Africa, and Tunisia. Asia, on the other hand, is a lot further forward. The final group stages have been completed, and with Australia out of the way as tournament hosts, things were a little easier. Japan and China finished on nineteen points in their group, both qualifying with eight points more than third-placed United Arab Emirates. In the other group, South Korea cruised to qualify as winners, with Iran finishing second. Saudi Arabia entered the playoff. They and the UAE will face off for the right to play New Zealand, who once again won the Oceanic qualifying section.

In North American qualifying, Tim Aubel’s United States played a further two games this month. They hosted Guatemala in Oklahoma, and won 5-1 even though the halftime score was 1-1. Then they welcomed Trinidad & Tobago to Missouri, and won 4-2, with the halftime score this time being 2-1 to the visitors. The Americans currently lead the final group, with fifteen points from fifteen. The final group is halfway completed, so within a few games, the United States could have their qualification secured. Mexico followed them on twelve points, then Costa Rica on nine. Further back are Honduras on four points, followed by this month’s two visitors, who are adrift at the bottom. Meanwhile, in South America, Brazil became the first side to qualify this month. Second-placed Argentina have booked themselves at least a playoff place, while Colombia and Uruguay also occupy the qualification spots. Paraguay sit fifth, with Chile, Peru and Bolivia potential rivals. Ecuador are almost completely eliminated, and Venezuela are already out.

In Europe, things are far from settled. Brettney Joven’s England played two games this month, winning them both. Austria arrived at Wembley ready for a fight, and they got a fight. Two early goals put them 2-0 up, but a three minute double salvo saw England right back in it, and they were in the lead 37 minutes in. The second half was quite an anti-climax. Poland arrived at Wembley without such spirit, and they paid for it. A hattrick from Manchester United striker Moses Abdulazeez helped England to a 5-0 victory. Ireland also won both games this month, and so continue to lead Group 8. Only they, England or Austria can qualify automatically, with Montenegro, Poland and the Faroes quite a bit further back.

Neilio’s Italy also played two games this month, and got two narrow victories. They travelled to Hungary and won 2-1, before travelling to Slovenia and winning 1-0. They lead their group by five points, with three games to play. Only they, Romania or Slovenia can qualify automatically; Hungary and Estonia have three points between them.

Fréderico Canvey is the last of our European national team managers, and he coaches Spain. Just like England, Spain struggled through their first match to win 3-2, before romping to victory in their second. In match one, they hosted Scotland in Gíjon. It took a 77th-minute goal from Diego Carrasco to break a deadlock set in since the 22nd minute. Then Azerbaijan came to play. Two goals for Carrasco, and four for 25-year-old Barcelona striker Diego Gutiérrez, helped Spain to an impressive 6-0 victory. For Gutiérrez, it took his goal tally to four goals in just two games for his country. Spain lead their group, but Scotland are only three points behind, with Bulgaria just five points behind that. Iceland, Latvia and Azerbaijan won’t be posing any threat, however. The other European groups are led by the Netherlands, Portugal, Croatia, Greece, France, and Germany.

The next tournament down would be the European U21 Championship. Robert Boyle’s England entered into Group B, but got off to a poor start, losing 1-2 to Spain. Things picked up, however, with a 1-0 win over Croatia and a 2-0 one over the Netherlands, with Liverpool striker Matt Rolls scoring all three goals. England advanced to the Semi-Finals, where they played Italy. Rolls scored again, but only after the Italians had taken a 3-0 lead. Matt Taylor, Lord Weeman’s most expensive signing, made it 2-3 in the 88th minute, but no comeback could be mustered. The Czech Republic beat Spain 2-1 in the other Semi-Final, but Italy triumphed in the Final at New Anfield, 2-1 after extra time. Rimini striker Francesco Luca Di Mauro scored both goals for his homeland.

Maz Armley’s England under 19s didn’t have a tournament to play in, but they played qualifying for the European U19 Championship. They beat both Turkey and Bosnia & Herzegovina 3-1, and drew 2-2 in Austria. This qualified them for next month’s tournament. They also played two U19 Internationals, against Austria and Poland, and both were won 3-0. Q.P.R.’s 19-year-old striker Robert Vernon scored five goals in the first two games, but was injured early into the third, against the Bosnians. dafuge's under 20s are also playing a competition next month.

The domestic scene has been quiet, so it has been good to concentrate on international football. However, there were a few retirements of club managers this month. Kevin Ball, Aston Villa manager, was among them, and he was replaced by former Liverpool boss Theo Stigarakis. The 61-year-old is now therefore at his 11th club, and has a good platform to work from, with the side in the Europa League for the third consecutive season. Other managers to retire this month were Leo Dodge and Lawrence Lazewski, who have put the world of football behind them for good.

Next month sees friendlies and transfers, as the footballing world prepares itself for another season, our managers’ 22nd. Before that can happen, however, Fréderico Canvey has the small matter of a Confederations Cup Final to play.

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7663
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Insecure      7663

All Star Top Five – Highest Fee Received

[b] Pos +- Username     Manager          Original Club Current Club     Player             Fee[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] Martin_      Martin Bojangles Hull                           Keith Smith#    £52  M
2nd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] brettney1980 Brettney Joven   Wigan         England          Chris Heslop#   £32.5M
3rd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] Robert_296   Robert Boyle     Blackburn     Valencia/ENG u21 Redouane Bacha# £30  M
4th  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] Waghlon      Lars Tommersen   Villarreal    Betis            Giuseppe Rossi  £29.5M
5th NE weeeman27bob Lord Weeman      Napoli        Napoli           Davide Donadel# £28  M *

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Update 253

Years: 21, Months: 253, Days: 7694

Head to the English coast this month and you’ll see no sand. Like an ice cream covered with bees, the British beaches are being swarmed upon by a host of holidaymakers. It’s one of the hottest summers on record, and Bryan McGuinness will be glad he retired to his Swiss villa for the month, although the weather will surely continue into August, when he’ll be back at Chelsea Stadium. McGuinness will soon be able to enjoy a lot more time in his Swiss villa; this month he announced his impending retirement, and he’ll step down next June. Other managers leaving football behind after this season are Ben Cee and Tyler Burrows. United States manager Tim Aubel also has retirement on the radar.

Let’s start this report with Lord Weeman. The 61-year-old Napoli manager was very busy on the transfer front this month, and has also had a successful pre-season campaign so far. Napoli signed two players, both 28-year-old goalkeepers; Daniele Bertoli arrived from A.C. Milan for £625k, and Michele Falcone from Genoa for £10.75M. But these costs were more than reimbursed by Napoli’s sales this month; centreback Gennaro Gasparai joined Catania for £400k, young goalkeeper Fabio D’Avino signed for Genoa for £1.1M, experienced Brazilian midfielder Gomes joined Inter for £11.5M, and ambitious 28-year-old midfielder Salvatore Addona signed for Chelsea for £15.25M, totalling £28.5M of sales. In addition, fourteen players left on frees, and six on loan. Included in the former was 35-year-old goalkeeper Luca Nardi, who cost Napoli £11M ten years ago. As for friendlies, Weeman’s side travelled to Japan for their annual fixture against Kumamoto AC, whom they beat 3-0. They then won 4-0 in the Netherlands against FC Den Bosch, and beat local side Cavese 4-1. Captain Mattia Silvestri, and 19-year-old reserve striker Andrea Lombardi got three goals each.

Elsewhere in Italy, the two Milanese clubs made some of the most expensive transfers in football history. At Inter, Cool Manager signed Mantova’s 27-year-old right winger/striker Federico Mengoni for a personal high of £41M (£34M with conditions). Manager seemed to raid Mantova for expensive players; talented forward Marco Spadaro signed for £32M and unsporting Brazilian rightback Evando signed for £16M. In all, Inter spent £110M, £89M of which went to the Mantovani club. The signings look to be good ones, however; in a friendly against Spaniards Sestao this month, both Mengoni and Spadoro scored braces. Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan splashed even more cash, however, bringing in Rimini’s 22-year-old striker Francesco Luca Di Mauro for a whopping £48M, as part of a £123M gross spend. Di Mauro has scored one friendly goal so far, so trails his teammates Johan Hue, Júlio, Nicky Hutchinson, and Pétur Már Jóhannesson. Either way, Cee’s club have a strike force to be reckoned with. Hue, a 24-year-old French attacking midfielder, also arrived at the club this month, joining from Marseille for £21M, the league’s fourth-most-expensive transfer of July.

Last month focused on international football, which continued this month. Fréderico Canvey’s Spain faced Brazil in the Confederations Cup Final, and we’ll come back to that. We’ll start with junior competitions. Maz Armley’s England under 19s travelled to Italy for the European U19 Championship. They started their campaign poorly, with a narrow 0-1 loss to Sweden, but bounced back in their next game against Poland, winning 3-1, with two goals in five minutes just after half time from Q.P.R. striker Robert Vernon. They ended with a 1-1 draw against France, which was sufficient to send Armley’s side through in second place. In the Semi-Final, they faced Germany. The Germans took the lead with an 11th-minute penalty, but Vernon equalised seven minutes later, and, after a further four minutes, Barnsley striker Steve Shaw, who had scored against France, made it 2-1, which was the final score. Portugal were England’s opponents in the Final at Giuseppe Meazza, and they took the lead in the first minute. Two minutes later, however, Vernon levelled the scores. In the end it was not to be, as a 72nd-minute goal gave Portugal the win.

dafuge's under 20s were in Egypt for the U20 World Cup. They were in a group with the hosts, but first had to play another African team, Guinea. Although the Guineans took the lead, a solid second-half effort saw England run out 4-1 winners. They drew the next two games, goalless against South Korea and 1-1 against the Pharoahs, and advanced in second place. In the Second Round, another African team made dafuge’s opponents, and Burkina Faso were seen off 5-0 in Cairo. 20-year-old Tottenham striker Gareth Liversidge, who had scored against Guinea, netted twice. The Quarter Final would be trickier, as Brazil awaited. Towards the end of the first half, Liversidge scored again, only to have the lead nullified a minute later. England once again took the lead in the second half, but were once again pegged back. In the end, five penalties from five saw Brazil advance from the spot. They beat Argentina in the Semi-Finals while Italy beat hosts Egypt, and the Italians went on to lift the trophy with a 2-1 victory. Egypt finished third.

In senior competitions, North American teams played in the Gold Cup this month. Tim Aubel’s United States had no problems with settling in; they thrashed St Vincent & the Grenadines 6-0 in their opening match. Next came a 2-0 win over Trinidad & Tobago and a 3-0 drubbing of Canada. In particularly good form were Yoshitaka Kamiya, who scored five times, and A.C. Milan winger Tony Heaney, who scored thrice. Honduras awaited in the Quarter Final, and two more goals from Heaney, as well as two from Trabzonspor’s Mike Warren, helped the Americans to a 5-0 victory. The competition continues next month, with the States’ toughest match so far, against Mexico. In the other Semi-Final, Guatemala meet Panama, meaning there will be a Finalist other than the U.S., Mexico or Costa Rica for the first time in 24 years. Oh, and as for that Confederations Cup Final, Fréderico Canvey’s Spain lost 1-2 after extra time. The match was dull until late on, when an own goal gave Brazil the lead, only for Spain to wrestle back equality four minutes later from the spot. Gomes, that fella that Inter have just signed from Napoli, scored the winner in the 101st minute.

Over in England, Tom Smith had a quieter time of things than Lord Weeman. Only one player joined the club, Hamilton’s 23-year-old goalkeeper Dave Cameron for £95k. The Scotsman shares his name with 62-year-old former Prime Minister David Cameron. Youngster Keith Martin, who has only been in the game for a year, joined Celtic for £1.2M. The attacking midfielder is not to be confused with Keith Smith, the defender who holds the record for the highest ever transfer. He continues to ply his trade for Real Madrid after his £52M move there six years ago. A number of players left Smith Arena on frees, most notably Dinko Leovac, who was snapped up by PSV, Redouane Bacha, who was given a chance by Albacete, and our beloved Craig Robson, who remains unattached but with a lot of interest in him. That calls for one final Craig Robson-o-meter.

The Craig Robson-o-meter

Goals this month: 0

Total Goals: 114

Cost per Goal: £421,052.63

The Gunners played six pre-season games this month, winning them all. Germinal Beerschot were beaten 2-1, Nagoya Stolz, St. Johnstone, and Vicenza were beaten 2-0, Getafe were beaten 3-1, and St. Mirren were beaten 4-1. Portuguese striker José César scored seven goals in the half dozen matches. Next month, Arsenal start in the Community Shield against Tottenham Hotspur. They open their title defence at home to Steve Tilson’s Liverpool.

We’ll conclude in Spain, where Betis manager Lars Tommersen called it quits this month. The Seville side turned to Las Palmas manager David Rincón as Tommersen’s replacement, leaving the seat at Estadio de Gran Canaria vacant. It was filled by former Murcia, Athletic, and Sporting manager James Salter, who will hope to achieve at least the predicted position of 15th in La Liga. New Betis manager Rincón made a big sale this month, with world class Peruvian winger Alberto Sanchís leaving for Barcelona for £33.5M. That was the biggest transfer in La Liga this month, although Mikael Schøler’s Real Madrid came second with their £22.5M purchase of Everton’s flamboyant Danish midfielder Henrik Persson.

Next month, season twenty-two kicks off. Until then, enjoy the sun!

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7694
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        7694

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You've still got one season to go - there's life in the old dog yet!

All Star Top Five – Longest Time at Current Club/Nation

[b] Pos +- Username     Manager          Original Club Current Club Days[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] weeeman27bob Lord Weeman      Napoli        Napoli       7694 *
  - [color=#0000cd] 0[/color] tomsmith1989 Tom Smith        Arsenal       Arsenal      7694 *
3rd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] el sid       Cool Manager     At. Madrid    Inter        5189
4th  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] Robert_296   Robert Boyle     Blackburn     England u21s 4029
5th [color=#0000cd] 0 [/color]~Ian~        Bryan McGuinness Everton       Chelsea      3308

Lifespan – 10 to 20 Years

 3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid 6573
4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     6370
5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   6224
6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham   3800

Lifespan – 5 to 10 Years

[b] Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days[/b]
7th TaylorB              Ben Taylor          Fiorentina 3442
8th fergysafc            Liam Ferguson       Man City   2783
9th JSalter              James Salter        Reggina    2710
10th mikeytwigge          Mikey Twigge        Palermo    2507
11th BenArsenal           Ben Cee             Inter      2502
12th super_lampard        Super Lampard       Lecce      2119
13th Cardiovascular       Cardio Vascular     Genoa      2010
14th Lower Leagues Rule   Jonte Rhodes        Lazio      1968

Lifespan – 2 to 5 Years

[b] Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days[/b]
15th hasdgfas             Tim Aubel           Fulham     1705
16th ~Ian~                Bryan McGuinness    Everton    1701
17th rancer890            Ricky Nakano        Middlesbro 1614
18th ssestig              Theo Stigarakis     Catania    1405
19th bermybhoy            bermybhoy           Atalanta   1320
  - IlikeJellybeans      Jellybean Man       Numancia   1320
21st m1234566778          Maz Armley          Racing     1288
22nd el sid               Cool Manager        At. Madrid 1263
23rd spartans5            Lawrence Lazewski   Valencia   1259
24th Greasy Chip Butty    Andy Morton         Sporting   1244
25th Martin_              Martin Bojangles    Hull       1241
26th clrkaitken           Clark Aitken        Roma       1237
27th Waghlon              Lars Tommersen      Villarreal 1230
28th Walcott’s Wonderkids Brucie Bonus        West Brom  1210
29th Almondo              Arnold J. Rimmer    Bolton     1208
30th Neji                 Neji Hyuuga         Deportivo   999
31st Jack Rudd            Lisa Jeffries       Juventus    925
32nd pnefc22              Wobill Luman        Betis       889
33rd AtilasMiserly        Will de Mote        A.C. Milan  882
34th JoeLatics            Joe Gleeson         Espanyol    873
  - Blanco               Cristobal Blanco    Recreativo  873
36th ian_1982             Maurice Jobson      Man United  852
37th Ridleys              James Ridley        Siena       843

Lifespan – 1 to 2 Years

[b] Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days[/b]
38th conners              Sirus Lannock       Málaga     628
39th MikaelS              Mikael Schøler      Bologna    613
40th Swafe                Saul Goode          Osasuna    551
41st hamilton162          Tom Hamilton        Mallorca   509
42nd kashmirshazad        Shazad Ali          Newcastle  508
43rd DiscoStu94           Da Hoover Man       Sampdoria  501
  - ScottT!              Scott Tysoe         Sunderland 501
45th canvey!!             Fréderico Canvey    Stoke      476

Lifespan – Less than 1 Year

[b] Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days[/b]
46th corinthiano          Mathias Brunckhorst Chievo     327
  - Neilio               Neilio              Almería    327
48th Robert_296           Robert Boyle        Blackburn  326
49th brettney1980         Brettney Joven      Wigan      320
50th TigerJoe             Joe Seddon          Getafe     271
51st jack.browne          Jack Browne         Sevilla    250
52nd NepentheZ            Neppo Monster       Cagliari   236
  - dafuge               dafuge              Torino     236
54th KiddingChoc          Zach Machios        Portsmouth 235
  - Whoopy D             Whoopy D            West Ham   235
56th d-machine            David Machine       Athletic   229
57th PaulHartman71        Jeremy English      Liverpool  204
58th Chimpos              Phill Ewles         Valladolid
  - tadr                 Andre da Conceiçao  Chelsea
  - markcator3006        Mark Cator          Aston Villa

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Update 254

Years: 21, Months: 254, Days: 7725

The season has begun in earnest, but before we turn our attention to the league games of the English Premier League, let’s wrap up the summer’s events.

When we left them, Tim Aubel’s United States were in the Semi-Final of the North American Gold Cup. First, we’ll look at the other Semi-Final, where Guatemala eased their way through with a 2-0 victory over Panama. They took the lead just before the hour mark and doubled it in stoppage time. This is Guatemala’s first Gold Cup Final, although they finished third in both 2025 and 2021. But for Tim Aubel, the competition ended here. Although New England Revolution striker Chris King put the Americans into the lead towards the end of the first half, by the end of full time Mexico had made it level pegging, and José Manuel de la Torre’s side got the winner in the 107th minute, through Bordeaux midfielder Erick Saavedra. Mexico beat Guatemala 1-0 in the Final, at Honolulu’s Aloha Stadium. Aubel’s United States salvaged dignity in the Third Place Playoff. Prolific striker Yoshitaka Kamiya netted thrice before Mike Warren made it 4-0.

The transfer window extended into this month. Arsenal made two big transfers, selling 27-year-old Portuguese centreback Marco Baptista to Zaragoza for £11.75M, and cultured Irish midfielder Paul Greaves to Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan for £22M. The money will be useful, but Gunners boss Tom Smith hasn’t yet invested it in players, and that could cost him this season, or at least until January. Lord Weeman, on the other hand, was investing heavily, spending the money he had earned last month. Three players signed for the Italian club in August; young rightback Marco Carbone from Roma and Vicenza for £4.8M, slightly older rightback Stefano Zanon from Le Mans for £5.5M, and cultured Belgian attacking midfielder Steve Meunier from Palermo for £14.25M. Napoli completed their pre-season campaign with three more wins; 3-0 over both Benevento and Vitesse, and 2-1 over Real Sociedad. Bleached blond midfielder Gianni De Santis scored three goals in the three matches.

And now we’ll move onto this season’s first competitive fixtures. In Italy, Cool Manager’s Inter ended their five-year estrangement from the Italian Super Cup with a 2-0 victory over Roma. The Milanese side had featured in the last two Finals, but had lost out both times, to Napoli and their rivals A.C. Milan. The Spanish equivalent was won by Mikael Schøler’s Real Madrid, who beat Zaragoza on away goals after a 2-2 aggregate draw. The UEFA Super Cup was hauled by Jürgen Klinsmann’s Manchester City, who beat Tottenham Hotspur 1-0 with a 48th minute goal from Spanish striker Diego Carrasco. Tottenham had had another chance, however, in the Community Shield, where they faced their North London rivals Tom Smith’s Arsenal. Unfortunately for Spurs, they were unsuccessful, losing out 6-7 on penalties after a dull goalless draw at Wembley.

We’ll stay in England now to see how Arsenal started their season. They, like all their top-flight fellows, have played two league games so far. Interestingly, they had no trouble in seeing off Liverpool, whom they beat 3-0 after going 2-0 up within ten minutes, but struggled at newly-promoted Sheffield Wednesday, who held them to a 1-1 draw. Four clubs have won both of their games; Chelsea beat Leeds and Sunderland, Hull beat Newcastle and Crystal Palace, Man City beat Middlesbrough and Derby, and Everton beat Sheffield Wednesday and Tottenham. At least two of those winning streaks are about to end; in the next game, the Toffees host Man City, and Hull travel to Chelsea Stadium. Middlesbrough, Leicester, Sunderland, and Derby are the four clubs yet to pick up a point.

Football fans are preparing themselves for another season in Europe. Eighty teams are in competition for two pieces of silverware. One of those teams is Tom Smith’s Arsenal, whose Champions League group draw was released this month. They’ll have three alpine away ties, facing Basel, Rapid Wien, and Juventus in their group. Elsewhere, Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan will meet Super Lampard’s Celtic, and Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea will play Robert Boyle’s Valencia. Real Madrid and Inter are other clubs of ours in the group stages. In the Europa League, Lord Weeman's Napoli had to get through qualifying this month. They played Czech side Mlada Boleslav in the Fourth Qualifying Round, winning 4-1 away and 2-0 at San Paolo to cruise into the groups. dafuge's Ajax won, beating Inverness CT 5-2, while James Ridley’s Newcastle thrashed Ukrainians Chornomets 6-0. Theo Stigarakis’s Aston Villa annihilated CSKA Sofia 11-1, and Tyler Burrows’s Udinese went two better with a 13-1 victory over Macedonia’s Rabotnicki. They all await next month’s group stage draw.

It looks to be a good season. Next month, the first European nations will secure their World Cup qualification, while club teams get their teeth into their first cup and European fixtures, as well as more league games.

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7725
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        7725

All Star Top Five – Shortest Time at Current Club/Nation

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Current Club Days[/b]
1st [color=#006400]+4[/color] JSalter       James Salter     Reggina       Las Palmas     44
2nd[color=#006400] +8[/color] ssestig       Theo Stigarakis  Catania       Aston Villa    65
3rd [color=#ff0000]-1[/color] super_lampard Super Lampard    Lecce         Celtic        261
4th NE Chimpos       Phill Ewles      Valladolid    Leeds         263
5th [color=#ff0000]-2[/color] Ridleys       James Ridley     Siena         Newcastle     411

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Update 255

Years: 21, Months: 255, Days: 7755

The stifling heat of summer has cooled into a balmy early autumn. Let’s see how our two managers fared in September 2029, while looking once more towards the international stage.

We’ll start with Lord Weeman, the sexagenarian in charge of Italian club Napoli. His team played six league games this month, and have certainly had better starts to seasons. They won matches against Siena, Cagliari, and Reggina, but could only draw goalless against newly-promoted AlbinoLeffe, and lost to both Ascoli and Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan, the latter on international television. Napoli are currently ninth, and are already six points behind the league leaders, who are Cool Manager’s Inter, in pursuit of a second consecutive title. Vicenza and Rimini are also in the top three, while Mantova, who were stripped of their players by cash-waving clubs this summer, are sixteenth.

Clubs started their European group stages this month, and for Napoli, the start was welcome. They feature in a Europa League group alongside Zenit Saint Petersburg, FC Zürich, and Romania’s FC Brasov. They played the Swiss side this month, smashing them 7-1 at San Paolo, with braces for Gianni De Santis and Hélder Trindade. Zürich had actually taken the lead. Elsewhere in the Europa League, Newcastle and Aston Villa got off to winning starts, while Ajax drew and Udinese lost. In the Champions League, Tom Smith’s Arsenal won their first match, also against Swiss opposition, as they beat Basel 4-0 at Smith Arena. Their groupmates Juventus also got a 4-0 home win, against Rapid Wien. Chelsea, A.C. Milan, Real Madrid, and Inter all won, while Celtic and Valencia drew.

We’ll stay in Europe with more intracontinental competition. This time, it is the qualifying for the 2030 FIFA World Cup, to be held in Australia. Fréderico Canvey’s Spain played two games this month, and won them both with ease. First, they beat Latvia 4-0 in Barcelona, before travelling to Sofia for a 3-1 victory over Bulgaria. Spain are three points clear at the top of their group, and will enter the playoffs even if they don’t qualify automatically. Brettney Joven’s England did the same as Spain, winning 4-0 at home and 3-1 away. They beat the Faroe Islands in the first match, and Montenegro in the second. Manchester United striker Moses Abdulazeez was in fine form, netting four times in the two matches. He has scored twelve England goals in his eight appearances. Ireland lost to Austria and drew with Poland this month, allowing England to sneak into first place. They are currently two points clear, and their two rivals for qualification, Ireland and Austria, make their next two opponents, both away trips.

Neilio’s Italy became the first European team to qualify for next year’s tournament, after they, like England and Spain, won 4-0 at home and 3-1 away this month. Romania visited Reggio Calabria, and were seen off thanks in part to a brace from Napoli’s Gianni De Santis, and then Estonia were beaten in Tallinn. Tim Aubel’s United States will be joining them, but their campaign actually took massive blows in this month and the last. In August, after having finished third in the Gold Cup, Aubel’s side hosted Costa Rica in San Jose, but were surprise 2-3 losers. They then lost their next home match, this month, 2-4 to Mexico in Tulsa. They did, however, secure qualification with a 2-1 win in Guatemala. Mexico and Costa Rica sit ahead of them in the final group, but all three are on their way down under. Trinidad & Tobago are most likely to secure the playoff place, but it could go to either of the other two.

Over in England, Tom Smith’s Arsenal were trying to bolster their indifferent early start to the season, in order to defend their title. They could have done better this month, but did put in a good enough performance. Victories came at Old Trafford against Manchester United, and at Smith Arena against Portsmouth, before the Gunners lost 0-1 at Theo Stigarakis’s Aston Villa. They did, however, complete the month by beating Champions League side Newcastle, managed by James Ridley, with relative ease, 3-0. Swiss striker Karsten Lange plays an increasingly integral role to Arsenal’s fortunes, having scored twice in that game against the Magpies. The 28-year-old also scored in Arsenal’s Carling Cup Third Round match, giving them the lead against Leeds. The Whites did equalise, but Arsenal won two goals to one, with the second coming through Portuguese striker José César. The next round draw brings two exciting and fiery derbies: Arsenal are hosted by Tottenham and Man City host Man United.

As promised, the season is interesting. There is more to come next month, so stay tuned!

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7755
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        7755

All Star Top Five – Highest ‘Longest Time at a Club’

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Longest at  Days[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] PluckaDuck    Tyler Burrows    Udinese       Udinese     6370
2nd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] MikaelS       Mikael Schøler   Bologna       Juventus    4262
3rd [color=#006400]+1[/color] TaylorB       Ben Taylor       Fiorentina    Fiorentina  3442
4th [color=#006400]+2[/color] JSalter       James Salter     Reggina       Reggina     2710
5th [color=#006400]+2 [/color]Martin_       Martin Bojangles Hull          Aston Villa 2591

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Update 256

Years: 21, Months: 256, Days: 7786

It’s November, and we have already had our first sackings of the season. In October, with ten games played, Lecce sacked Marco Materazzi, while Coventry, with fourteen games played, sacked Adam Huckerby. The Sky Blues sit fourteenth in the Championship, a league which is led by Fulham. Adrian Boothroyd’s side took the lead after three games and haven’t relinquished it since.

The equivalent position in the Premier League is occupied by Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea. The Blues went unbeaten this month, winning three and drawing two of their five games. They also won both of their Champions League matches, including a 2-1 victory away to Robert Boyle’s Valencia. They are one point ahead of Theo Stigarakis’s Aston Villa, who lead Man City by two points, who lead Tom Smith’s Arsenal by a further two points. The Gunners had a distinctly average October, beating Crystal Palace and Derby, but drawing against Chelsea and Middlesbrough, and losing to Everton. The Gunners seemed to self-implode at Goodison Park at the end of the month, going down 0-4 to Frank Lampard’s mid-table team. 29-year-old striker Abu Walters nabbed three goals for the Toffees. In the Champions League, Arsenal won 3-1 away to Rapid Wien, before finding that their thirty shots against Juventus at Smith Arena resulted in no goals, as they shared the points with the Italian side.

The month was better for Lord Weeman, although his Napoli team only sit sixth in Serie A. They scored ten goals in three games in October, beating Lazio 2-1 and Fiorentina 5-0, while drawing 3-3 with Parma. A variety of players got themselves on the scoresheet, demonstrating the depth of the Napoli front line. They played two Europa League games, travelling to Romania to beat FC Brasov 4-0, before welcoming Zenit Saint Petersburg to San Paolo, before dismissing the Russian side with a 3-0 victory. Cool Manager's Inter lead Serie A, eight points ahead of Napoli and three ahead of their nearest challengers Roma.

World Cup qualifying was more or less completed this month, with only twelve playoff matches left to determine the last six qualifiers. In Africa, Côte d’Ivoire and Ghana had little difficulty in topping their groups, while Nigeria and Cameroon fought to finish first ahead of Algeria and South Africa respectively. In the final group, Tunisia managed to squeeze past apparent likely winners Morocco to steal the qualifying place. In Asia this month, Saudi Arabia won 2-1 in Abu Dhabi before losing 0-1 to U.A.E. in Riyadh, and so advanced to the intercontinental playoff on away goals. There, of course, they’ll face New Zealand.

Argentina booked their place in Australia last month, so at the start of October, two more places were available for South American teams. Uruguay took the first, albeit with a pretty indifferent month this month, and Colombia pulled away to finish fourth and take the second. Chile and Bolivia both finished on twenty-five points, but unfortunately for neutrals, the Chileans were the ones who entered the playoffs. In North America, Tim Aubel’s United States won both their games this month, 2-1 in Honduras and 3-1 in Trinidad. But Trinidad & Tobago lost their other game of the month, 0-3 to Guatemala, while Honduras got a surprise win over Mexico, and so Honduras will be Chile’s playoff opponents.

And finally, Europe. Neilio’s Italy concluded their campaign with a goalless draw at home to Hungary, while Romania enter the playoff from their group. Fréderico Canvey’s Spain were dominant in their two matches, and so pulled away to qualify with ease. They were 3-0 victors in Iceland, before bouncing their qualification rivals Scotland 5-1 at Hampden Park. The Scots, however, enter the playoffs. Brettney Joven’s England showed tenacity to book their place in next year’s tournament; first they won 2-1 in Dublin with goals from two farmhands, Paul Sheppard and Dan Shepherd, before matching that scoreline in Vienna. In the end, they finished five points clear of Ireland, who enter the playoff.

In the other groups, Serbia won 1-0 in the Netherlands and 3-0 in Armenia to book their World Cup place from a tough group. The Czech Republic ousted the Dutch 3-2 in their final game and so sneaked into the playoff ahead of them on results between teams. Portugal beat Georgia but needed a draw in Turkey in their final game to win the group. A draw they got, but the Turks qualified for the playoff ahead of Belgium. Croatia won both games this month and so completed a fairly comprehensive sweep of Group 3, and second-placed Sweden were so far behind that they didn’t get a playoff place.

Ukraine won both matches this month, while dropped points for Greece in Liechtenstein mean that the Greeks lose their group lead and finish behind the eastern Europeans. Denmark miss out; just one point against Ukraine would have seen them through. France scored fourteen goals in their two matches this month, smashing San Marino and Finland. Israel won one and lost one, but Switzerland’s being held to a draw in San Marino saw the Israeli side into the playoff. Sunderland forward Olivier Lefrancois scored a tremendous eight goals for his national team this month, while second place Johan Hue, of A.C. Milan, only got three. Finally, both Germany and Russia won their last two matches, and so the status quo in Group 6 was maintained, with the Germans qualifying automatically and the Russians entering the playoff. They’ll play Ireland there, while Romania and Israel face each other in an eastern encounter, and Greece meet the Czech Republic. Scotland have a tricky tie against Turkey. Those ties take place next month.

Six places remain in Australia 2030. Who will take them? Find out, next month!

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7786
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        7786

All Star Top Five – Lowest ‘Longest Time at a Club’

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Longest at  Days[/b]
1st [color=#006400]+1[/color] el sid        Cool Manager     At. Madrid    At. Madrid  1263
2nd [color=#006400]+1[/color] ssestig       Theo Stigarakis  Catania       Catania     1405
3rd [color=#006400]+1[/color] Ridleys       James Ridley     Siena         Sampdoria   1594
4th [color=#006400]+1[/color] ~Ian~         Bryan McGuinness Everton       Everton     1701
5th [color=#006400]+1[/color] hasdgfas      Tim Aubel        Fulham        Fulham      1705

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Update 257

Years: 21, Months: 257, Days: 7816

The season is well and truly under way, and managers are deeply entwined in fixtures in varying competitions. The big news in November was the World Cup playoffs, but in addition to that, a whole host of managers left their jobs as chairmen got itchy trigger fingers.

We’ll start with Lord Weeman, Napoli manager. Napoli faced a difficult month this month, with games against Inter and Juventus, last year’s top two. In addition, they faced Genoa, whom they beat 3-0. Yet that scoreline was reversed in favour of Cool Manager’s side in Napoli’s trip to Giuseppe Meazza, although Weeman’s team did pick up three points with a 2-1 victory over their Turin visitors. In the Europa League, Napoli travelled to Switzerland, where they triumphed 2-0 over FC Zürich, with English forward Dan Shepherd getting both goals. Manager’s Inter currently lead Serie A, on thirty-four points, seven more than their nearest competitors Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan. Manager’s team are the only one not to have lost in this month’s competition.

Over in England, it has, quite frankly, been a terrible month for Tom Smith’s Arsenal. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that bad, but Smith has certainly been left wanting at the end of it. The Gunners started with a 4-2 victory in the North London derby at home to Tottenham Hotspur. They then travelled to Delle Alpi, where Juventus were seen off 1-0 in the Champions League. Back in the league, the Gunners were in Manchester to face Man City, whom they held to a goalless draw. Unfortunately, catastrophe followed in the Carling Cup Fourth Round, where Arsenal faced Spurs for the second time in four games. This match, at White Hart Lane, ended 4-0 in Spurs’ favour, with Scottish winger John Williams putting his team 2-0 up with two first half penalties, before Arsenal went a man down in first half stoppage time with the dismissal of attacking midfielder Andy Withe. Englishman Gary Whittaker doubled the lead with a second half brace. Arsenal’s poor form continued, with a home league match against Leeds. Phill Ewles’s side triumphed 3-0, with the Gunners giving away another two first half penalties. Striker Adam Defoe completed the rout in the 90+1st minute. Finally, Arsenal secured their Champions League Last 16 place with a 3-0 win in Basel.

A surprise team lead the Premier League, with a slender one point lead over Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea. This team’s manager counts one league win in his repertoire, having lifted the LIGA adelante title with Racing. The club is, of course, Aston Villa, under the charge of Anglo-Greco-Basque manager Theo Stigarakis. They lost a match to 15th-placed Derby this month, so could be even better off had it not been for that. Nevertheless, I don’t imagine they’ll stay top much longer. Third-placed Manchester City are the only team keeping an unbeaten record, but they have drawn half of their games, and have totalled just 28 points. The big news this month came from five miles down the road, at Old Trafford. With his side 15th in the league, and following a 2-3 home defeat in the Manchester derby, which itself came a 0-2 away defeat in the Carling Cup Manchester derby, Raúl was sacked by Manchester City, a sudden but deserved end to his two-year tenure. Avram Glazer turned once more to Spain for Raúl’s successor, appointing Atlético Madrid manager Josep Guardiola for £1M. This left that job open, and one of our managers decided to try out a new country, as dafuge ended his eighteen-month Ajax tenure to take the post at Vicente Calderón. Spain is dafuge’s fifth country of management, after spells in Italy, Turkey, England, and the Netherlands.

And now, what you’ve all been waiting for, the World Cup playoffs. Unsurprisingly, New Zealand were once again unsuccessful in their qualification bid. Despite winning 3-2 in Riyadh, the Australasian side came undone in Auckland, allowing Saudi Arabia to win 3-0, and qualify 5-3 on aggregate. Chile won the Americas playoff, a result most people anticipated, but the nature of their victory was a little surprising. They thrashed Honduras 4-0 in Tegucigalpa, before completing the rout with a 5-0 home win. Marseille’s Esteban Tapia and Atlético Mineiro youngster Alejandro Salazer each got four goals over the two legs. In Europe, the Greek and Israeli ties were settled on away goals; Greece won 1-0 in the Czech Republic but had already lost 0-1 at home, and Israel overcame a 1-3 away defeat with a 2-0 victory in Ramat-Gan. The other ties were more clear-cut. Ireland were crushed by Russia, who won 4-0 in Moscow and 2-0 at Lansdowne Road. Roma striker Vyacheslav Ushakov grabbed four of the six goals. And Scotland took full advantage of their first leg’s being at home to notch up a 3-0 lead over Turkey, so they weren’t flustered by a 0-1 defeat in Istanbul.

The World Cup draw takes place next month, and the intensity of media speculation will increase and increase right up until the spectacle in June.

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7816
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        7816

All Star Top Five – Highest ‘Shortest Time at a Club’

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Shortest at Days[/b]
1st [color=#006400]+1[/color] el sid        Cool Manager     At. Madrid    Liverpool   1242
2nd [color=#006400]+2[/color] Martin_       Martin Bojangles Hull          Man United   942
3rd [color=#ff0000]-2[/color] PluckaDuck    Tyler Burrows    Udinese       Roma         712
4th [color=#006400]+2[/color] MikaelS       Mikael Schøler   Bologna       Bologna      613
5th[color=#006400] +2[/color] Chimpos       Phill Ewles      Valladolid    Roma         376

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Not been in CSE forum for a while, just went through the last 6 updates and Cool Manager and Inter Milan have been doing very well :thup: A Scudetto and finally a Italian Super Cup :D

Longest at current club for anyone who has been in atleast 2 :cool:

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@dafuge: That's your third club this page!

Update 258

Years: 21, Months: 258, Days: 7847

Sacking season continues, and a grand total of four managers lost their jobs in our three leagues this month. None of those was ours, but for one of our managers, if the season continues as it has been, a P45 might be in the post come May.

But it’s all smiles and ice cream for our other manager, Lord Weeman. After a solid month, his Napoli side have ascended to second in Serie A, although they do find themselves yet nine points behind Cool Manager’s rampant Inter side. In December, Napoli beat Vicenza 1-0, both Frosinone and Udinese 2-0 away, and Rimini 3-0. One of those teams, Udinese, has a manager of ours at the helm, 65-year-old Tyler Burrows. Burrows will be leaving football this June, but in the meantime, is Insecure, with his team 11th in the league. Udinese did win their Coppa Italia match this month, however, beating Brescia 3-0, but they face Juventus in the Quarter Final. Napoli also won, less convincingly, with a 1-0 victory over mid-table Ascoli. Weeman meets Ben Cee, a manager with whom he will have become familiar after years of clashing when Cee was Inter manager, and his club A.C. Milan in the Quarter Final. Genoa face Inter and a Roman derby sees Roma take on Lazio.

European group stages concluded this month, so let’s take a look at which teams made their way into the next round, starting with the Champions League. Tom Smith’s Arsenal beat Rapid Wien 2-0 in their final game, but they had already qualified. Juventus join them in the next round. Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan, like Arsenal, had no difficulty in qualifying, which they did with sixteen points. Super Lampard’s Celtic follow them through, despite a loss to Dinamo Kiev this month. Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea were another team to easily secure passage, dropping their first points of the campaign this month with a goalless draw at Lyon. The French team follow them through, which means that Robert Boyle’s Valencia enter the Europa League; the Spanish club drew both games against Lyon, but lost both Chelsea matches, and one won lost one against Spartak Moscow. Mikael Schøler’s Real Madrid continue into the Last 16 after a goalless draw at Bayern Munich this month. The Germans also progress. Cool Manager’s Inter sailed through, and, like Chelsea, they hadn’t dropped points until this month, albeit it held their toughest game, away to Sporting CP. The Portuguese club were actually squeezed out by a dogged Rangers side, who grabbed the other qualification spot, resulting in the first time in in-game history that two Scottish clubs feature in the Last 16. Elsewhere, Man City and Barcelona had no trouble in cruising away from Slavia Prague and Red Star Belgrade; Zaragoza and Werder Bremen advanced ahead of Porto and PSV Eindhoven, and defending champions Tottenham suffered a shock elimination behind Roma and AZ Alkmaar.

In the Europa League, Lord Weeman’s Napoli finished their group in style, completing a 100% winning record with a 5-0 victory over FC Brasov and a 1-0 one away to Zenit Saint Petersburg. The Russians also advance. James Ridley’s Newcastle also won every single game, concluding with a 3-1 win at Braga and a 4-1 one at home to Hertha Berlin this month. The Portuguese club finished second in the Magpies’ group. Theo Stigarakis’s Aston Villa didn’t quite win all their games, but they went unbeaten, and cruise into the next round with CSKA Moscow following them. dafuge played his first European games at Atlético Madrid manager this month, beating Maccabi Haifa 5-1 but losing 1-3 at Partizan Belgrade. Nonetheless, Josep Guardiola had done enough to see Atlético finish the group top, with their Serbian groupmates second. dafuge's former club Ajax also advanced, topping their group with Panathinaikos second. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese also came second-best, following a dominant Hull in progression. The Hull side, backed by their Greek tycoon Antonis Theodoridis, won all their group stage games. The next rounds have been drawn, but you’ll have to wait until next month before I reveal them to you.

Those title hopes of Arsenal manager Tom Smith might have to be recycled pretty shortly. The Gunners have had another poor month, and have now lost five games in the league, two more than they lost during last season’s entire duration. In fact, it is now impossible for Arsenal to rival last season’s 91-point tally. They sit sixth, a worrying ten points behind first-placed Chelsea. In December, Smith’s side won 2-1 at Sunderland before imploding in a trip to Loftus Road, where Q.P.R. felled them 4-1. Another defeat followed, away to Leicester, before the team got back to winning ways with a 4-0 victory over bottom-placed Swindon. Finally, the month ended with a 1-1 draw at Anfield. The month has not been particularly kind to Theo Stigarakis, either. His Aston Villa side, who led the table thirty-one days ago, have fallen to third after dropping points in December against Tottenham, Hull, Sunderland, and Leicester, all draws, and against Leeds, a 1-3 loss. They also exited the Carling Cup on penalties after a goalless draw at home to Mackem side Sunderland, and they were the only team to lose their Quarter Final match at home; Man City smashed Tottenham 3-0 while Chelsea had similar dominance in a 4-1 victory over James Ridley’s Newcastle, and Liverpool ousted Q.P.R. 3-2. Liverpool take on City in the next round, while the Black Cats meet Chelsea.

The transfer window is about to open, and Tom Smith might be dredging for reinforcements to help his Arsenal team rebuild a title challenge. Lord Weeman will be looking for that star or two to help close the gap on Serie A leaders Inter, while Tyler Burrows will just want a decent player or two to lift his job away from the brink. For the latter, this is to be the last transfer window, so we might see Udinese’s wallet opened. If not, we’ll probably see Burrows’s flower-pressing book open as he seeks something to fill his long and jobless days.

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7847
  - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   7847

All Star Top Five – Lowest ‘Shortest Time at a Club’

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Shortest at Days[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0 [/color]ssestig       Theo Stigarakis  Catania       Portsmouth    90
2nd [color=#0000cd] 0[/color] m1234566778   Maz Armley       Racing        Blackburn    142
3rd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] dafuge        dafuge           Torino        Everton      145
4th  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] JSalter       James Salter     Reggina       Sporting     153
5th [color=#0000cd] 0[/color] hasdgfas      Tim Aubel        Fulham        Racing       166

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Update 259

Years: 21, Months: 259, Days: 7878

This month has been a reversal of the last; whereas in December the luck flowed Napoli’s way while Arsenal were struggling, in January, Arsenal have been fortuitous while their Italian counterparts have gone astray. I think Smith Arena is where we shall start.

Unlike last month, Tom Smith’s Gunners went unbeaten in January. They started very well, with four consecutive victories, against Sheffield Wednesday, Millwall in the FA Cup, Hull, and Manchester United. These were no small wins, either; the first two teams were seen off 3-0, Hull 4-1, and the Red Devils, strugglers of late, 4-0. Swedish striker Johan Andersson got himself on the scoresheet five times in the four matches. After that, however, things did slow down, but no team could outscore Smith’s London side. League draws came against Aston Villa and Portsmouth, before a trip to the City of Manchester Stadium for the FA Cup Fourth Round saw the teams deadlocked at 1-1. Andersson got himself another two goals in those final three games.

Q.P.R., Leeds, holders Tottenham, Sheffield Wednesday, and Sunderland were the Premier League sides eliminated in the FA Cup Third Round, the latter at home to a Championship side, Sheffield United. Newcastle and Portsmouth couldn’t get any further than Round Four, with Arsenal or City as well as Middlesbrough or Liverpool on the way out too. Round Five would see Arsenal host either Wolves or Hull, while Sheffield United host Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea, and Theo Stigarakis’s Aston Villa have an easy match against either Championship Brighton or League 1 Tranmere. As for Arsenal, all they did in the January transfer window was sell two players; reserve centreback James Dudley left for Everton for £4.9M, and Epping-born centreback Louis Daws headed to Anderlecht for £375k. Summer signing Dave Cameron went on loan back to his native Scotland, to Motherwell. I feel like this transfer window has been a missed opportunity for Smith.

Lord Weeman, whose Napoli side were in a promising second place last month, have since slipped to fourth. In January, they beat Sampdoria and Siena, drew with Mantova and A.C. Milan, and lost, heavily, to Roma. They also saw their cup dreams shattered with a 1-2 home defeat to Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan, who have leapfrogged them in the league. Cool Manager’s Inter are still runaway leaders, fourteen points clear of second-placed Juventus and yet to have lost a game. As for the Coppa Italia, Manager’s side play Tyler Burrows’s Udinese in the Semi-Final, while their neighbours A.C. meet Roma. Napoli made waves with some big signings this month, and Weeman is obviously keen to get them back into the Champions League. Frosinone’s 28-year-old defender Fabio Potacqui arrived for £4.9M, and Schalke’s German midfielder Francis Radtke signed for £9.5M. But the bigger news was the signings of Derby’s young and versatile Scottish attacker Jay Gregory, who cost Napoli £20M, and Barcelona’s Spanish striker Diego Gutiérrez, who set them back £32.5M. It is Weeman’s second-biggest-ever spend on one player, but doesn’t match the £37M he paid for Marek Hamsik in 2009. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese weren’t as active as I’d expected them to be; their only complete signing was the £6.75M one of forward Daniele Santini from Burrows’s former club Roma.

Well that’s January’s football out of the way, so we can focus on football to come, with the revelation of three draws of impending competitions.

Six of our managers feature in the Europa League Last 32, and two of them meet each other. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese will play Betis in their two-legged tie, while James Ridley’s Newcastle play Dinamo Kiev, who beat Celtic in the Champions League last month. dafuge’s Atlético Madrid play Feyenoord, while his former club Ajax meet Lille. Theo Stigarakis’s Aston Villa will face Dortmund, while the match between two of our managers sees Robert Boyle’s Valencia pitted against Lord Weeman’s Napoli. The winner of that will face CSKA Moscow or Hull. Partizan Belgrade, Panathinaikos, Slavia Prague, Dinamo Kiev, and Rapid Wien are the last flag-carriers for Serbia, Greece, the Czech Republic, Ukraine, and Austria respectively. England is the most represented nation, with five teams, although Portugal have four competitors.

In the Champions League Last 16, we also have six managers, but none of those faces each other. The two ties without any of our representatives see AZ Alkmaar play Man City, and Barcelona meet Roma. Mikael Schøler takes Real Madrid to his former club Juventus for the second time, after last year’s encounter, while their compatriots Zaragoza meet Super Lampard’s Celtic. Celtic’s countrymen Rangers play Tom Smith’s Arsenal, and Arsenal’s rivals Chelsea play Werder Bremen. Bremen’s fellow Germans Bayern Munich meet Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan, and A.C. Milan’s stadium-sharers Cool Manager’s Inter will encounter Lyon.

And finally, the draw you’ve all been waiting for, the one for the centenary World Cup. Brettney Joven’s England have a decent group, facing three countries beginning with C, Chile, Costa Rica, and Croatia. Their neighbours Scotland have a tougher group, with Brazil among their opponents. Also in Scotland’s group are Saudi Arabia and Tim Aubel’s United States. Neilio’s Italy should have no difficulty in advancing past China, the Czech Republic and Côte d’Ivoire, but Fréderico Canvey’s Spain have a trickier time of it, meeting Portugal and South Korea, as well as Ghana. Holders Argentina should be fine against Israel, Japan, and Nigeria, but hosts Australia are likely to struggle against Colombia, Germany, and Mexico. France play Serbia, Tunisia, and Uruguay, and the easiest group looks to be Group G, where Cameroon, Iran, Russia, and Ukraine clash.

Get out your vuvuzelas and your kangaroos, the World Cup is about to hit Australia! The countdown starts here, with 134 days until Argentina open the tournament against Japan.

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7878
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        7878

All Star Top Five – Players Bought (Number)

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Current Club  Number[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] ssestig       Theo Stigarakis  Catania       Aston Villa      135
2nd[color=#006400] +1[/color] weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman      Napoli        Napoli           120 *
3rd [color=#006400]+1[/color] el sid        Cool Manager     At. Madrid    Inter            116
4th [color=#ff0000]-2[/color] Neilio        Neilio           Almería       Italy            110
5th NE Robert_296    Robert Boyle     Blackburn     Valencia/ENG u21 108
  - [color=#006400]+1[/color] PluckaDuck    Tyler Burrows    Udinese       Udinese          108

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Update 260

Years: 21, Months: 260, Days: 7906

‘February made me shiver, with every paper I’d deliver,’ is a line from Dom McLean’s “American Pie”, but, unfortunately, the tragedy of the Day the Music Died is 71 years ago, and February 2030 didn’t make either of our managers shiver, as it was a good month. One former manager might be out in the cold, however, after his dismissal from his latest club this month.

We’ll start in Italy. Lord Weeman’s Napoli played four league games this month, going unbeaten. They started well, with a 4-1 victory against an AlbinoLeffe side who had frustrated them in September. Although they then drew 1-1 at Cagliari, two more victories came, at Reggina and against Ascoli. Napoli moved up one place to third after those fixtures, but Juventus and Roma are both one point behind. Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan sit three points ahead, with Cool Manager’s Inter a further fifteen points beyond that, still unbeaten. They won four games from four this month, scoring twelve goals in the process. Michele Vincenzi, their 29-year-old forward bought from Lazio for £10.75M last season, netted in each match.

The English Premier League also has a runaway leader, although Jürgen Klinsmann’s Man City aren’t as far ahead as Inter are. In February, the Citizens picked up twelve points from twelve, and they sit seven points ahead of second-placed Chelsea. Next month, they have a Carling Cup Final, having beaten Liverpool 5-2 on aggregate in the Semi-Final. Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea are also their opponents there. But Klinsmann’s side won’t have any more FA Cup football to look forward to, following their elimination by Tom Smith’s Arsenal in the Fourth Round replay this month. Swede Johan Andersson scored twice to send his Gunners side into the next round. There, Arsenal beat Hull, 2-0. They host Liverpool in the Last Eight, while the other Merseyside club, Everton, travel to Derby, and Derby’s neighbours Leicester host Man United. Theo Stigarakis’s Aston Villa will travel to either Sheffield United or Chelsea. I know which Stigarakis would prefer. But for Arsenal, the month has been a good one. As well as two cup victories, they won in the league against Crystal Palace, Middlesbrough, and even Chelsea at Chelsea Stadium. Andersson was the hero once again as his 70th-minute striker gave Arsenal the honours in SW1. Arsenal also got a respectable 2-2 draw away to James Ridley’s Newcastle, a team of Champions League calibre.

At the bottom of the Premier League, time is running out for Middlesbrough. In December, they replaced Jim Magilton with another J.M., Javier Manjarín. But Manjarín hasn’t been able to win since then, and even drew at home to 19th-placed Swindon. Boro are fourteen points beyond safety, with games against Newcastle, Aston Villa, and Chelsea, among their final ten fixtures. But events this month conspired to rid the next three teams up of their managers. Placed 17th, and after a 0-2 home loss to 18th-placed Crystal Palace, Portsmouth sacked their manager Ben Taylor, who had been with the club for a little over two years. They felt the best replacement would be the mastermind of that 2-0 result, and so appointed Crystal Palace’s Sol Campbell, who returns to the club with which he won the FA Cup in 2008. Crystal Palace continued the pattern of hiring the manager of the club below them, appointing Swindon’s Callum Pitcher. I wouldn’t be surprised if Swindon chose Jim Magilton as Pitcher’s replacement, although the AFC Wimbledon, Birmingham, and Wolves bosses are currently the favourites.

European football resumed this month, but the return of the Champions League was low-key. In the eight Last 16 matches, just nine goals were scored. Super Lampard’s Celtic bored their crowds with a goalless draw at home to Zaragoza, while their compatriots Rangers lost 0-1 at home to Tom Smith’s Arsenal, who will be confident of progression. Barcelona will be disappointed with their result, losing 0-1 at home to Roma, while another Italian side to beat a Spanish one was Juventus, who got the same score, at home to Mikael Schøler’s Real Madrid. 1-0 wins also came for Inter and Chelsea, who played at Lyon and Werder Bremen respectively. Only two games saw more than one goal, with Man City drawing 1-1 at AZ Alkmaar, and Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan doing the same at Bayern Munich.

The Europa League was more exciting; 97 goals were scored over the 32 First Knockout Round matches. Of all those, none was scored by either Sporting CP or Zenit Saint Petersburg, who stifled each other before the Portuguese side got through on penalties (ironically, all but one spot kick were scored). Only one other side failed to score any goal. Tyler Burrows was the first of our managers to go out, as his Udinese side fell 1-3 to Betis, even losing 0-1 at home. dafuge’s Atlético Madrid beat Feyenoord in exactly the same manner, while the victories of James Ridley and Theo Stigarakis were a bit more exciting. Ridley’s Newcastle won 4-1 away to Dinamo Kiev, with four goals from towering Scottish striker Martin Wright. Expected to run ragged at St James’ Park, the Magpies actually lost at home, but advanced 6-4 on aggregate. Stigarakis’s Aston Villa won 3-2 away to Dortmund with a late winner, and advanced 5-3 on aggregate with a 2-1 home win. Young Greco-German striker Grigoris Seretis scored all three of Dortmund’s goals. The biggest match from our point of view, however, was Lord Weeman’s Napoli versus Robert Boyle’s Valencia. Things went swimmingly for Napoli at Nuevo Mestalla; midfielder Alessandro Rigamonti put them 1-0 up after 12 minutes, and they had a three-goal lead by 26 minutes, thanks to a brace from captain Mattia Silvestri. They went on to win 3-1. Valencia took the lead at San Paolo, but two second-half goals from Hélder Trindade secured the victory for Napoli, who advance 5-2. In the next round, they face Hull, who, despite finishing seventh in last season’s Premier League, are just five points away from the drop zone. Aston Villa play FC Twente, and Atlético Madrid meet Everton, while Newcastle play Champions League holders Tottenham.

The season is approaching its climax, and if our managers don’t pull their fingers out, they won’t have a chance of stopping those runaway league leaders. Or perhaps they’d rather focus on cups. Napoli have the Europa League and Arsenal have both the FA Cup and the Champions League to concentrate on. We’ll see how they do, as the time ticks away to Australia 2030, which is now just 106 days away.

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7906
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        7906

All Star Top Five – Players Bought (Value)

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Current Club Value[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] el sid        Cool Manager     At. Madrid    Inter       £1.14B
2nd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] BenArsenal    Ben Cee          Inter         A.C. Milan  £1.08B
3rd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman      Napoli        Napoli      £ 926M *
4th [color=#008000]+1[/color] tomsmith1989  Tom Smith        Arsenal       Arsenal     £ 650M *
5th [color=#008000]+1[/color] ~Ian~         Bryan McGuinness Everton       Chelsea     £ 635M

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@BenArsenal: And there's supposed to be a global recession on!

Update 261

Years: 21, Months: 261, Days: 7937

Let’s get right down to things, shall we, with Tom Smith’s Arsenal. They suffered a rude start to March, losing abruptly 1-3 at Pride Park. Swiss striker Karsten Lange got himself on the scoresheet, but could do little else to prevent a win for Derby County. Arsenal did recover, however, to record victories over Everton and Tottenham, before ending the month with a 1-1 draw at home to league leaders Manchester City. City are currently seven points ahead of Bryan McGuinness’s second-placed Chelsea, with just seven games left for the Blues. Arsenal are a further three points back, but with only six to play. The Gunners also celebrated an FA Cup victory this month, going 3-0 up against Liverpool within half an hour of their Sixth Round match at Smith Arena, and winning by that scoreline. Derby, Chelsea and Manchester United also won their Quarter Finals, over Everton, Aston Villa, and Leicester respectively, and Arsenal will play the Red Devils in their Semi-Final. The other cup this month was the Carling Cup, where Man City met Chelsea at Wembley. The match was close and rather uninspiring, but City came up tops with a 2-0 win.

At the bottom of the Premier League, Middlesbrough are all but relegated. With eighteen points up for grabs, they are sixteen behind 17th-placed Crystal Palace. Swindon remain 19th, while Hull replace Palace as the 17th-placed club, despite being, at the start of the month at least, in the Europa League. In ascending order, Everton, Portsmouth, Sheffield Wednesday, Derby, and Sunderland all have yet to reach that magical forty points. The Coca-Cola Championship is still led by Fulham, who are eight points clear and this month secured a playoff place. Second-placed Southampton lead third-placed Nottingham Forest by five points, with six games to play, so should achieve automatic promotion if they can keep up their form. Otherwise, Forest, Wolves, Sheffield United, Bolton, and Swansea are all eager to take that promotion place.

Over in Italy, the closeness of the teams ranked third to fifth has put Lord Weeman’s Napoli out of the Champions League places again. Weeman’s team got three victories this month, beating Parma 1-0, Lazio 2-0, and Genoa 3-0. However, they drew with Fiorentina and lost at home to Cool Manager’s Inter, 0-2, despite dominating their Milanese opponents. Manager’s side are still unbeaten at the top, and are just two points from lifting the title once again. They are looking for a double or even a treble, having won 2-0 at Tyler Burrows’s Udinese in the first leg of their Coppa Italia Semi-Final. At the bottom of Serie A, things are close, with bottom-placed Reggina only two points from safety. Above them are Siena, Fiorentina, Parma, and Cagliari, with Mantova seven points away from the drop zone and looking likely to survive. Serie B is led by Pescara, but Pisa, Bologna, Empoli, and Modena are all within four points.

Sixteen became eight this month in the Europa League, but all four of our managers made it through. Panathinaikos lost to Sporting CP, Benfica lost to Betis, Lazio lost to Anderlecht, and Lille lost to compatriots Paris Saint-Germain. Another intranational match saw James Ridley’s Newcastle destroy Tottenham Hotspur, who are in the midst of a disastrous season. The match at White Hart Lane ended 2-2, but Spurs were smashed 4-1 in their visit to St James’ Park. dafuge's Atlético Madrid played similarly, drawing away and winning at home. Their match at Goodison Park ended 1-1, but Atlético won the return leg 3-0. Theo Stigarakis’s Aston Villa travelled to play FC Twente, but lost 0-1, yet they took just 17 minute to level the score in the return leg at Villa Park. Things were set for extra time, before 31-year-old eggheaded striker Liam Sullivan scored for Villa in the 90+3rd minute. As for Lord Weeman, his Napoli team got their tie off to a good start with a 3-1 first leg victory over Hull. The return match on the east coast was dull, and a goalless draw put Napoli through. They have the kindest draw possible for the Quarter Final, meeting Paris Saint-Germain, while Newcastle play Sporting CP. Stigarakis and dafuge lock horns as Aston Villa meet Atlético Madrid.

In the Champions League, goals did appear in the second legs of the Last 16 ties. One match in particular is notable for equalling the record for the biggest win in the knockout stages, as Manchester City annihilated AZ Alkmaar 8-0 at the City of Manchester Stadium. It could have been 9-0, too if not for a missed penalty. They advance 9-1 on aggregate. Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea, on the other hand, could only draw 1-1 in their home match, against Werder Bremen, but still advanced 2-1 overall. Bayern Munich were the other German side put out, losing 0-1 to Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan at the San Siro, and 1-2 on aggregate. Milan’s neighbours Inter progressed with a 2-0 win over Lyon, completing a 3-0 aggregate victory. Roma managed to draw goalless at home to Barcelona, allowing their one goal at the Nou Camp to carry them through, while Mikael Schøler’s Real Madrid beat his former club Juventus 2-1 on aggregate, overturning a 0-1 deficit with a 90+3rd minute goal from experienced striker Ángel Martínez Moreno. Both Scottish sides lost; Super Lampard’s Celtic went down valiantly 2-3 at Zaragoza, had they scored at home they would be through, and Ståle Solbakken’s Rangers fell to a 2-4 loss at Smith Arena, allowing Tom Smith’s Arsenal through 5-2 on aggregate. The Gunners have a tough tie in the next round, against Man City. The tie of the round, undoubtedly, sees Cool Manager’s Inter play Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan, while the other Italian club remaining, Roma, play Real Madrid. Chelsea face Zaragoza.

Only 75 days remain until the launch of action in Australia. How exciting!

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7937
  - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   7937

All Star Top Five – Players Sold (Number)

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Current Club No[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0 [/color]el sid        Cool Manager     At. Madrid    Inter       122
2nd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] PluckaDuck    Tyler Burrows    Udinese       Udinese     113
3rd [color=#006400]+2[/color] ssestig       Theo Stigarakis  Catania       Aston Villa 109
  -  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] BenArsenal    Ben Cee          Inter         A.C. Milan  109
5th [color=#ff0000]-2[/color] weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman      Napoli        Napoli      105 *

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Update 262

Years: 21, Months: 262, Days: 7967

Easter Sunday in 2030 falls on April 21. That’s just three days before the day I write this, although I am 19 years further back in 2011. Let’s see if our managers had a happy Easter, starting in Italy.

One manager who will have enjoyed the celebration is Cool Manager. His Inter side beat Roma 2-1 on Easter Saturday to lift the title for the eighth time under Manager’s reign. Things got better for Manager in the next game, as Inter thrashed Tyler Burrows’s Udinese 4-0 in their Coppa Italia Semi-Final second leg, sending them through to the Final 6-0 on aggregate. As things stand, Inter are on for the Treble. Ben Cee’s second-placed A.C. Milan will be Inter’s cup final opponents.

Lord Weeman’s Napoli, on the other hand, didn’t have quite such a good month, but they did enough to take them up to third place. Their only victory of the month came away to Rimini, while they drew with Frosinone, Juventus, and Vicenza. Napoli still need to work hard next month to secure a Champions League spot. In their final four games, they play Roma and Udinese at home, 5th and 11th respectively, and Sampdoria and Mantova away, 6th and 14th respectively. Juventus do face A.C. Milan, but also face bottom-half teams AlbinoLeffe, Cagliari, and Ascoli. Roma face European challengers Vicenza and Rimini, as well as Mantova, and, of course Napoli. It’s difficult to call, although one is tempted to say Napoli will end fifth. Only time will tell.

Over in England, Easter month has been poor for Tom Smith’s Arsenal. They won half of their league games, beating both Sunderland and Leicester 3-0, but by this point, they had already lost the other half, 2-3 away to Hull and 3-5 away to Leeds. In the FA Cup Semi-Final, the Gunners fell to a surprising defeat at Wembley, 0-2 to Josep Guardiola’s Manchester United. The Red Devils took a 1-0 lead in the 74th minute and doubled it in stoppage time, but thoroughly deserved their victory, outplaying Arsenal from first to last. The other Semi-Final had fans on the edges of seats, when Chelsea met Derby. The Blues went 1-0 up after 27 minutes, but a goal from English forward Ben White brought Derby level with five minutes of the first half remaining. Two minutes later, however, Chelsea took the lead once again, and after a further three minutes, the Pensioners had a 3-1 lead. As the match approached the hour mark, Derby pulled another goal back, but after just another two minutes, Serbian Stefan Pejic regained Chelsea’s two-goal advantage. And after another two minutes, Derby forward White grabbed yet another goal. Both Derby and Chelsea pushed for that last and most important goal, but the status quo was maintained for the last half hour, and Chelsea won 4-3.

Remarkably, the Blues are still in the running for the Premier League, as Manchester City still haven’t been able to guarantee themselves the title. In April, Jürgen Klinsmann’s side won three and only lost one, away to 3rd-placed Newcastle, but that still sees them vulnerable to a late Chelsea run. Bryan McGuinness’s Blues have an away tie to Tottenham, which would be tough but not impossible, and they then host 20th-placed Middlesbrough, before welcoming City themselves to Chelsea Stadium. They have seven points to catch up. Man City, as well as their away match with Chelsea, have a home game against Crystal Palace. They need to win that one to be sure of finishing first. Tom Smith’s Arsenal are four points ahead of Theo Stigarakis’s Aston Villa with six on the table. Arsenal travel to 19th-placed Swindon before hosting 6th-placed Q.P.R.. Aston Villa should get all six, travelling to fifteenth-placed Sunderland before welcome relegation battlers Hull. Down at that end of the table, Middlesbrough and Swindon will be Championship teams next season, and there is one more place available. Hull currently occupy it, despite their rich chairman, and Portsmouth and Crystal Palace are also in danger, as are three other teams. Hull host Pompey next, so should be able to leapfrog the south coast team, while Palace are likely to lose to City. That means whoever does worst in their final game, Portsmouth at home to Leicester, Palace at home to Leeds, and Hull away to Villa, will get relegated.

Easter was good for Aidy Boothroyd’s Fulham, who lifted the Championship title on Easter Monday. They sit on 97 points, and so could score a century with their final match against Swansea. Southampton finished second and are going up too, while three of the four playoff teams have been confirmed. Nottingham Forest, Wolves, and Sheffield United have sealed their places, while Ipswich must fight off threats from Swansea and Bolton if they are to get in. Both Ipswich and Cardiff travel to mid-table teams, Cardiff and Reading respectively, and of course the Swans have their match at Craven Cottage. At the bottom, Northampton and Oldham will be in next season’s League 1. Coventry could join them, unless they can win away to Plymouth and Watford draw or lose away to Charlton.

Two of our international managers met this month, as Italy hosted England in Modena. Brettney Joven’s England won the match 2-0, with goals from Napoli’s Dan Shepherd and Man City’s Joe Ward. To be honest, Neilio’s chances took a hit when Juri Rigamonti was sent off after 17 minutes. Robert Boyle’s, dafuge’s, and Maz Armley’s junior sides also won their respective matches in Italy. Meanwhile, Fréderico Canvey’s Spain got off to a great start at home to Switzerland, going 2-0 within 24 minutes, and winning 4-0. Tim Aubel’s United States travelled to Martinique, where they won 3-2 with goals from Yoshitaka Kamiya, Tony Heaney, and Mike Warren.

Clubs were also active on the international stage this month. In the Europa League, Betis knocked out Belgium’s last representative Anderlecht with a 1-1 draw away and a 2-0 home win. James Ridley’s Newcastle cruised in their away match to Sporting CP, which they won 3-1. They made the aggregate score 5-1 within half an hour at St James’ Park, and although their Portuguese opponents pulled back two goals, the Magpies strolled into the next round. dafuge's Atlético Madrid met Theo Stigarakis’s Aston Villa. The match at Villa Park ended goalless, and a sixth minute penalty at Vicente Calderon was sufficient to send dafuge’s side into the Final Four. Lord Weeman’s Napoli got off to a good start with a 4-0 win in their first leg against Paris Saint-Germain, with two goals from captain Mattia Silvestri. Two goals early in the second half put Napoli 0-2 down in France, but they weathered the storm for a 4-2 aggregate win. Next, they play Newcastle, while Atlético play compatriots Betis.

There is also a Spanish club in the Champions League Semi-Finals. Mikael Schøler’s Real Madrid were set to leave Roma with a 2-2 draw, before a 90+2nd minute goal for the home side. Nevertheless, Real won 3-1 at the Bernabéu to advance 5-4 overall. Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea knocked out the only other Spanish side in the draw, drawing 1-1 at Zaragoza and winning 2-1 at home. The Milan derby was a tight affair, with one goal from Inter’s £41M Federico Mengoni being enough to settle it. Tom Smith’s Arsenal hosted Manchester City, and went 0-2 down at Smith Arena within half an hour. Arsenal did bring it back to 1-2, but they’ll be relieved that Jürgen Klinsmann’s side didn’t convert a 73rd-minute penalty. A goal from José César towards the end of the first half at Eastlands levelled the aggregate for Arsenal, but City came back with a double salvo within two minutes in the second half, and advanced 4-2 on aggregate. One of the Semi-Final matches has already been played. Cool Manager’s Inter got off to a good start at home to Real Madrid, taking the lead within four minutes. They won 2-1, but Mikael Schøler will be optimistic of overturning the deficit given that his Real side have an away goal. Chelsea will play Man City in the other tie, as if they haven’t played each other enough this season.

We’ll finish in Spain, where Robert Boyle’s Valencia lead the league. They sit on seventy points, just like second-placed Zaragoza. Unfortunately, Valencia count Atlético Madrid and Barcelona among their five final matches, but then Zaragoza do play Real Madrid. Mikael Schøler’s side have a pretty easy run, other than the Zaragoza match. At the bottom, Alicante have been relegated already, and Recreativo and Mallorca currently occupy the other two relegation places, but any side from 10th-placed Hércules and below could face the drop.

Next month sees the end of the season. Napoli might have a Europa League final to contend with, but both of our clubs will be focusing on booking next year’s Champions League place. Even without Arsenal in the picture, the Champions League will be fascinating. I expect a gritty match between Inter and Man City, but Real Madrid and Chelsea are both good teams that will be looking to upset that prediction. After that, the 2030 World Cup kicks off in just 45 days!

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   7967
  - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   7967

All Star Top Five – Players Sold (Value)

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Current Club Value[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] BenArsenal    Ben Cee          Inter         A.C. Milan   £660M
2nd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] el sid        Cool Manager     At. Madrid    Inter        £493M
3rd [color=#006400]+1[/color] weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman      Napoli        Napoli       £455M *
4th [color=#006400]+1[/color] PluckaDuck    Tyler Burrows    Udinese       Udinese      £415M
5th [color=#006400]+1[/color] ~Ian~         Bryan McGuinness Everton       Chelsea      £374M

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Update 263

Years: 21, Months: 263, Days: 7998

The centenary edition of the FIFA World Cup is just 14 days away, and our managers’ 8000th day at their clubs is just two away. Let’s take a look at the end of the season in England, Spain, Italy, and Europe, and look to the future.

We’ll start in Italy, because that is where we have had the first retirement of the summer. We’ll come on to that (if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know who it is, or at least might be), but first, let’s take a look at how the Serie A season ended. Shockingly, Cool Manager’s Inter lost their first game of the season this month, at home to tenth-placed Ascoli. Inter did manage to cruise to 101 points, a league record, but they’ll be so frustrated about not having completed Serie A’s first ever unbeaten season. Ben Cee’s A.C. Milan finished second on 89 points; they finished the season, and Cee’s career, in style, with four league wins from four in May, beating Juventus, Rimini, Udinese, and Vicenza. Unfortunately, a chance to truly go out on a high was dashed by rivals Inter in the Coppa Italia, as Cool Manager’s side won the Final 1-0 with an 86th-minute goal from star signing Federico Mengoni. Cee stepped down from the club, and from football, this month, after an illustrious career in charge of Inter, Valencia, Man City, and, finally, A.C. Milan. He ends his career atop the Singaporean managers’ Hall of Fame, by quite some distance.

Roma ended the season in third place, and they were followed by our very own Lord Weeman’s Napoli. The Neapolitan side had a 50% month in May, beating Mantova and Udinese, but losing to Roma and Sampdoria. But still they managed to edge Juventus out of Champions League qualification, after the Old Lady could only pick up four points from sixteen this month. Quite a choke by the Turin club, whose manager Pierluigi Casiraghi is rightfully Very Insecure. Sampdoria and Frosinone also finished in the Europa League spots, while Tyler Burrows’s Udinese ended their manager’s final season in a rather disappointing 12th place, their lowest position since 2001, and, therefore, their lowest ever under Burrows’s management. Burrows is stepping down just before the start of the World Cup, although he will be doing punditry for French television channel TF1, who provide most of the coverage for his home nation of Andorra. AlbinoLeffe, Reggina, and Siena were relegated from Serie A, to be replaced by Pescara and one other team.

In England, Tom Smith’s Arsenal didn’t manage to win either of their final two games of the season. They travelled to recently-relegated Swindon, against whom they could only draw 0-0, before hosting Q.P.R. in a 1-1 deadlock. Fortunately for the Gunners, Theo Stigarakis’s Aston Villa drew and then lost, so Arsenal have Champions League football next season, finishing fourth. At the top, Jürgen Klinsmann’s Man City won both of their final two games, while Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea only won one from three. That does, of course, mean that the Citizens scoop the Premier League title after a gap of ten years. Chelsea did make up for some of their woes with a 1-0 victory over Manchester United in the FA Cup Final. It’s not the way McGuinness wanted to end his career, given some of the spectacular seasons he’s had with the Blues in the past, but the farewell wave he gave Chelsea fans upon leaving the Wembley turf will remain a valuable memento for the 63-year-old in his golden years. Chelsea’s golden years may be around the corner; Roman Abramovich is in talks with Taiwanese tycoon Shohei Yang, who wishes to buy the club. The takeover is currently on the rocks, as Yang’s interest has cooled following a disagreement over the club’s value. We’ll see how things go at Chelsea Stadium.

The final Champions League spot from English football was filled by James Ridley’s Newcastle, while Q.P.R., Aston Villa, and Liverpool will all feature in next season’s Europa League. At the bottom, Sol Campbell’s Portsmouth join Swindon and Middlesbrough in next season’s Championship. In this season’s one, Ipswich made it into the playoffs in the end, and played Nottingham Forest in their Semi-Final. They drew 1-1 at home, but were thrashed 0-4 at the City Ground, while Wolves ousted Sheffield United 2-1 in two gritty encounters. In the Final at Wembley, the Birmingham side prevailed against their East Midlands opponents, taking an early lead which was only nullified in the 73rd minute, and regaining that lead eight minutes after the Forest goal. Wolves made it 3-1 in the 90+3rd minute, and so Jonathan Woodgate’s side will be in next season’s top flight.

Over to Spain now, where the season isn’t yet over. One game remains to be played, and the title race is still on. Mikael Schøler’s Real Madrid, in third place, are out of it, but that doesn’t mean they can’t influence the destination of the trophy. For Zaragoza lead the way on 80 points, and are followed by Robert Boyle’s Valencia on 77. Zaragoza end the season at home to Schøler’s Galacticos, while Valencia travel to 13th-placed Alavés. Valencia have won both encounters between the two table-toppers this season, so the league is theirs if they can just win while Zaragoza lose. Further back, Barcelona are fourth and have already sealed next season’s Champions League spot, while dafuge’s Atlético Madrid are sixth and face a fight for their Europa League future. James Salter’s Las Palmas are 14th, and will finish there or thereabouts. Alicante are already down, and will be joined by two others from a possible five. Deportivo, Recreativo, and Villarreal look the most vulnerable; they all finished 11th or higher in 2008/09. This month, the Copa del Rey went to Zaragoza Stadium, after its tenants beat Elche 3-1 in the Final at the Nou Camp.

The Champions League promised to be exciting, and, as I expected, it was Inter and Man City facing off in the Final. Both clubs were fairly dominant in sweeping to their league titles, although one more than the other. Both clubs squeezed through high-scoring Semi-Finals; Inter beat Real Madrid 2-1 at home and held out away for a 2-2 draw, with a 90+4th minute winner, and Man City saw both their matches against Chelsea end 2-2, and continued on penalties. The Final took place at Hampden Park, and was unsurprisingly very close. If you had to pick a team, you’d pick Inter, and it was Cool Manager’s side that prevailed, with the only goal of the match coming from Inter’s realist forward Michele Vincenzi in the 57th minute. The Champions League is the jewel in the crown that has evaded Manager for all his career, despite this year seeing Manager’s tenth Quarter Final with the Milanese club. He completes the Quadruple, and certainly deserves a bottle of champagne or four.

One of his fellow Englishmen managing in Italy had a European Final of his own, however. Lord Weeman’s Napoli were to play in the Europa League Final at Lyon’s OL Land, but how did they get there?

Road to the Final – Europa League

Napoli’s road to Lyon began in the small Czech city of Mlada Boleslav. There, they secured a decisive victory in the first leg of their Fourth Qualifying Round match, winning 4-1. A 6-1 aggregate win put them into the group stage. There, they met FC Zürich, FC Brasov, and Zenit Saint Petersburg, and cruised through to victory with twenty goals scored and just one conceded. Visitors to San Paolo were treated to a 3-0 win over Zenit, a 5-0 one over Brasov, and a 7-1 one over Zürich. Napoli, however, were given a tough Last 32 match against Robert Boyle’s Valencia.

Betis also had to navigate through a Fourth Qualifying Round, with Estonia being their eastern European country of choice, as they beat TVMK 7-0 on aggregate. This gave them a nice group stage draw alongside NK Dinamo, Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk, and Dortmund. They were more reserved in their victories than Napoli, but Betis still finished top with ease, beating Dnipro and Dinamo in both matches, and securing four points from matches against their German groupmates. They faced Boyle’s former club in the Last 32, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese, and beat Napoli’s rivals confidently enough, winning 1-0 at Friuli and 2-1 at home.

Napoli were even more confident in their victory. They travelled to Nuevo Mestalla and came away with a decisive 3-1 win, putting one leg into the Last 16. A 2-1 home win made it 5-2 on aggregate. In the next round, they played tycoon-backed Hull, struggling in their domestic league. Another 3-1 win was the order of the day, this time at home, and Napoli managed to draw 0-0 in England to advance. Betis, meanwhile, met real resistance against Benfica, and their 2-0 first leg win at home was undermined by a reversal in Lisbon. Betis advanced on penalties, and faced Anderlecht in the next round. They drew 1-1 in Belgium, and sealed their place in the Final Four with a 2-0 home win.

Napoli’s own place was sealed with a more exciting tie, as they beat their opponents Paris Saint-Germain thoroughly at home, going 2-0 up within eight minutes and having doubled that scoreline by the end of the match. But danger came when the French side scored a quick double early into the second half of the second leg, but Napoli weathered the storm to set up a tie against Newcastle. They eked out a 3-2 victory at St James’ Park in an ill-disciplined match that saw the Magpies down to nine men by the end of the match, and a 1-2 loss at San Paolo, with yet another Geordie shown red, couldn’t dash Napoli hopes, as they advanced 4-4 on away goals. Betis faced a Battle of Spain, and came away from their away trip to dafuge’s Atlético Madrid only 0-1 down. At home, they tore their opponents apart, scoring two goals for every Atlético shot, and winning 4-1 overall.

60,000 were in attendance, and, as always seems to be the case these days, an English referee officiated. The match was tight, and both teams had chances, but it wasn’t until the 58th minute that any chances were taken. It was Napoli’s 28-year-old English forward Dan Shepherd who got the goal, his 15th of the season. From then, the play swung towards Napoli, but Betis did a good job of weathering the storm and fashioning their own chances. However, all but the slightest hopes of a comeback dissipated in the 80th minute, when Betis defender Bryan Thomson was shown a second yellow card. Although by that point the result was beyond doubt, Portuguese midfielder Hélder Trindade felt it best to make sure, doubling the Napoli lead in the 90+1st minute. It isn’t quite the Champions League that he has lifted on two occasions, but Lord Weeman will revel in his team’s haul of the Europa League. Betis manager David Rincón can only console himself with the fact that Betis are definitely in next season’s competition, by virtue of their league position.

So that’s it then. A cup for Lord Weeman, a treasure trove for Cool Manager, and a career in punditry for Tyler Burrows. Now, we head over to Australia. See you down under!

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   7998
2nd tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Secure        7998

English Premier League

Italian Serie A

All Star Hall of Fame

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager           Original Club Current Club Nty Nat Cont Wrld Info[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] Haowan        Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     [i]retired     [/i] 1st 1st  2nd  2nd (Spanish, Spain, Europe)
2nd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] Romanista1994 Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   [i]retired      [/i]2nd 2nd  4th  4th (Italian, Spain, Europe)
3rd [color=#006400]+5[/color] el sid        Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        1st 3rd  8th  8th (English, Italy, Europe)
4th  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] ~Ian~         Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      3rd 3rd 15th 19th (English, England, Europe)
5th [color=#ff0000]-2[/color] hasdgfas      Tim Aubel         Fulham        U.S.A.       6th 5th 13th      (American, U.S.A., N. America)
6th [color=#ff0000]-1[/color] tomsmith1989  Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      1st 4th 17th      (Portuguese, England, Europe)
7th [color=#ff0000]-1[/color] spartans5     Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      [i]retired     [/i] 1st 6th           (American, England)
8th [color=#ff0000]-1[/color] weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       4th 6th           (English, Italy)
9th [color=#0000cd] 0[/color] ian_1982      Maurice Jobson    Man United    [i]retired     [/i] 1st               (Rwandan)
  -  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] BenArsenal    Ben Cee           Inter         [i]retired      [/i]1st               (Singaporean)
11th NE MikaelS       Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Real Madrid  2nd               (Danish)
  - NE clrkaitken    Clark Aitken      Roma          [i]retired      [/i]2nd               (Canadian)
13th NE Jack Rudd     Lisa Jeffries     Juventus      [i]retired      [/i]3rd               (Canadian)

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Quadruple :cool: ****ing Brilliant, and finally the Champions League! 8th Serie A, domestic treble, just so much good going for my manager :D

Shame we missed out on the first unbeaten season, but with 101 points, I really shouldn't be complaining :D

Oh and bought players for £1.14b :applause:

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If anyone reading is interested in helping with this year's CSE Awards, get yourselves over here.

World Cup Preview

In just fourteen days’ time, the event the world has been waiting for will commence. For its centenary edition, the FIFA World Cup disembarks in Australia, where 32 teams will battle it out for football’s most desirable trophy, the Jules Rimet. Four of the managers in with a shot at that iconic statuette are our very own; all started at humble clubs in England, Italy or Spain, and we wish them the best of luck in their World Cup campaign.

Of course, there are twenty-six teams out there looking to stop one of our managers getting his or her paws on that trophy, so let’s take a look at the groups with which our four will have to contend, and we’ll look at the other four groups too.

Group A would be a logical place to start, so that’s where we’ll begin. It plays host, as it always does, to the defending champions, who this year are Argentina. They will surely have no trouble in waltzing out of that group, but who will join them? Israel, Japan, and Nigeria are their groupmates, and I’m not going to be pushing the boat out with my punditry here; Japan will finish second to Argentina’s first, but I do expect Nigeria to pip Israel to third.

In Group B, also, we have an easy pick for group winners. France have reached the Third Place Playoff in three of the last four tournaments, and have cleared the group stage every time. In addition, they have featured in at least the Semi-Finals of the European Championship for the last twelve years. Serbia, Tunisia, and Uruguay will fight it out in the battle for a second place which is by no means a given. I fear Tunisia will suffer a similar fate to most African nations and finish bottom, while Serbia should have enough about them to edge out a spirited Uruguay side.

We encounter the first of our managers in Group C. Brettney Joven has had a solid six-year career with England, in which they have won the Confederations Cup. In the last World Cup, Joven couldn’t get the Three Lions beyond the Quarter Final, the place of their defeat four years prior, too, but they cleared the group stage in second place to eventual runners-up Denmark. This year, they’ll be sure to advance from the First Round again, given that their opponents are Chile, Costa Rica, and Croatia. I’m always impressed by Croatia, who I’d tip to follow England into the Last 16, but don’t be surprised if Chile pull an upset. Costa Rica, however, shouldn’t pose much of a threat and are likely to finish bottom, but I can certainly see them getting at least a point on the board.

The second of our managers sits in Group D. After being brutally sacked by Stoke City, who have since been relegated to the Football League 1, Fréderico Canvey has gone from strength to strength and now manages his country’s national team. Spain face their neighbours Portugal in this group, and will also encounter stern opposition from South Korea. But I expect the Confederations Cup Finalists to prevail, with Portugal following them. South Korea will be squeezed out into third, with the fourth group constituent, Ghana, finishing last. Let’s see if Spain can put in the performance they are capable of in order to scoop that predicted top spot.

In quick succession, we encounter our third manager in Group E. Italy have managed to reach the Final once since their tournament win in 2008, in 2022, where they lost to Spain. Now, they are under the management of Neilio, who is competing in his second World Cup after losing in the Quarter Finals last time around. They face a group that isn’t easy, but is definitely winnable. I tip Italy to win it, but I’d be surprised if they end with a 100% record. Looking to poach points from them are China, the Czech Republic, and Côte d’Ivoire, and while China will probably finish last despite their impressive qualification campaign, things are more difficult to call between the Czechs and the Ivorians. I’m afraid my cynicism tips this one in the balance of the Czech Republic, while the Côte d’Ivoire will finish third, suffering from the typical African curse, which has seen just seven representatives of the continent in the Second Round over the last twenty years, and only one any further than that.

In Group F we meet our fourth and final manager, Tim Aubel. He’ll be hoping to steer his United States team to glory in his last tournament with them, but I’m not optimistic. Not only do they face Confederations Cup winners Brazil in this group, but Scotland also have a good record in tournaments. Brazil will win the group, although not without a fight (I’d expect the Scots to draw with them), while the world’s fifteenth-ranked team Scotland will come second. Aubel will have the consolation of finishing third with a victory over whipping boys Saudi Arabia.

Next, we come to what might be the most open group of the tournament, and one that harbours the best hope, other than Group A, of getting two non-European teams into the next round. Russia have been good recently, and sit 8th in the World Rankings, but Ukraine aren’t too inspiring, and one can definitely see Cameroon’s sneaking past them. Iran are a gritty team who manage to pick up the results in tournaments, so should be viewed with caution. Okay, Russia should top the group, and Iran will come close but finish last, with the second place spot up for grabs. I’d tip Cameroon to get it, leaving Ukraine at the mercy of an Iran side who might sneak third, if they’re on form.

And finally, Group H, where hosts Australia will have a tough time trying to reach the Last 16. Home advantage might help them, but I think they’ll finish behind Germany and Mexico, who are my tips for first and second respectively, and, in fact, I think Australia will suffer such a loss of face that they’ll end up last, behind the final South American representative, Colombia.

So those are my picks, let’s see them again in full;

Group A: Argentina, Japan, Nigeria, Israel

Group B: France, Serbia, Uruguay, Tunisia

Group C: England, Croatia, Chile, Costa Rica

Group D: Spain, Portugal, South Korea, Ghana

Group E: Italy, Czech Republic, Côte d’Ivoire, China

Group F: Brazil, Scotland, United States, Saudi Arabia

Group G: Russia, Cameroon, Ukraine, Iran

Group H: Germany, Mexico, Colombia, Australia

With those completed, I’m going to give you a stats burst. Even with the players of 2008 having retired, either moving on in to management or in to other areas of the game or of life, there are still some phenomenal players out there. We’re going to take a look at this World Cup’s top fifteen players by value, including where they currently ply their trade.

[b]Rank Player            Club        NAT  Value[/b]
1st Nicky Hutchinson  A.C. Milan  AUS £36.5M
2nd Raúl Gonzalez     Betis       ARG £27  M
  - Emanuel Páez      Real Madrid ARG £27  M
4th Mattia Silvestri  Napoli      ITA £25  M
5th Herbert Huth      Real Madrid GER £23.5M
6th Hélder Trindade   Napoli      POR £23  M
7th Pablo Dávila      Juventus    ARG £21.5M
  - Noah Gaillard     Barcelona   FRA £21.5M
  - José Cláudio      Inter       BRA £21.5M
10th Filippo Valentini Inter       ITA £21  M
11th Fausto Piazza     Man City    ITA £20  M
  - Jay Gregory       Napoli      SCO £20  M
13th Luca Mattioli     Inter       ITA £19.5M
14th José César        Arsenal     POR £18.5M
15th Adam Humphries    At. Madrid  ENG £18  M

Looking at those, we see just how strong our three leagues are. Napoli and Inter lead the way, with three each of those top fifteen, while Real Madrid have two, and A.C. Milan, Betis, Juventus, Barcelona, Man City, Arsenal, and Atlético Madrid have one each. Four of the players hail from Italy, three from Argentina, two from Portugal, and one each from Australia, Germany, France, Brazil, Scotland, and England. So that’s ten Europeans, four South Americans and one Australian, of which eight play in Italy, five play in Spain, and two play in England.

Will we see Italy meeting Argentina in the Final? Find out next month.

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Update 264 and World Cup Report

Years: 22, Months: 264, Days: 8028

You would have thought that 8,000 days at one club would be a major anniversary, but the focus this month was deflected away from our managers’ longevity, and to Australia, where the centenary FIFA World Cup is taking place. Our managers have now spent 22 years at their clubs, and, at the time I write this, Manchester United stalwart Sir Alex Ferguson has been at Manchester United for not much longer, 24½ years.

In Australia, World Cup defending champions Argentina got the action started. They were playing Japan in Sydney, and while it wasn’t a good advertisement for World Cup goals, given that it didn’t contain any, the South American side did have the better of the game, just about, but they failed to capitalise. Later that day, Israel got a good win over Nigeria, 2-1, with Inter goalkeeper Ibrahim Agoye gifting Israel the winner by coming out to collect a free kick in the 40th minute, before seeing the ball bounce off his head and into his undefended net. Israel, however, couldn’t win again, and fell to a 1-3 defeat against Japan and a 0-2 one against Argentina. Nigeria went on to lose 0-1 to Argentina, but they did recover somewhat by reversing that scoreline against Japan. That meant that the Japanese couldn’t take first ahead of Argentina, but they do settle for second.

canvey!!’s Prediction: Argentina, Japan, Nigeria, Israel

Actual Result: Argentina (7), Japan (4), Nigeria (3), Israel (3)

Accuracy: 100%

On day two of the tournament, Group B got under way. France, after going 0-1 down in the 45+1st minute, recovered a 1-1 draw from a match against Uruguay, but the South American side wouldn’t have much to complain about had France won. In fact, the French drew all three of their games; another 1-1 came against Tunisia, and the match against Serbia ended 2-2. Uruguay proceeded to beat Tunisia 4-1, which means they were definitely in the next round, and lose 1-2 to Serbia, which means they too were definitely in the next round. Serbia ended group winners, having beaten Tunisia 3-1 in their opening game, but only having squandered their clean sheet in the last minute.

canvey!!’s Prediction: France, Serbia, Uruguay, Tunisia

Actual Result: Serbia (7), Uruguay (4), France (3), Tunisia (1)

Accuracy: 60%

And now we’ll turn to the first of our managers, who did very well. Brettney Joven’s England flew from their group, beating Croatia 1-0, Chile 2-0, and Costa Rica 6-0. Manchester United right winger Moses Abdulazeez got four of the nine goals. Croatia were similarly dominant in their other two games; they beat Costa Rica 3-0 and Chile 5-1. Costa Rica upset my prediction, as two goals from Juventus striker Bernal Durán gave them a 2-0 win over Chile, which saw them finish third.

canvey!!’s Prediction: England, Croatia, Chile, Costa Rica

Actual Result: England (9), Croatia (6), Costa Rica (3), Chile (0)

Accuracy: 80%

Group D was home to our fierce Iberian battle. Fréderico Canvey’s Spain certainly had the better start of the two teams, beating South Korea 1-0 while Portugal were held to a 2-2 draw by Ghana. However, Spain themselves met with the same fate against the African side, although against Spain the Ghanaians had just two shots on target. And besides, Portugal drew their second game 1-1 with the Koreans. Finally, Spain ended Portuguese hope when a sole goal from Barcelona’s Javier gave them a 1-0 win over their neighbours. Ghana took second place with an impressive 3-0 win over South Korea that took their tally for the group to seven goals.

canvey!!’s Prediction: Spain, Portugal, South Korea, Ghana

Actual Result: Spain (7), Ghana (5), Portugal (2), South Korea (1)

Accuracy: 60%

Of course June saw some of our favourite managers retire. Ben Cee left A.C. Milan and football last month, and this month, his successor was revealed to be former Spain, Celtic, Fulham, Valencia and Manchester United manager Raúl. Michael Laudrup, while not one of our managers, also ended his career this month, leaving a vacancy at Tottenham to be filled by Bruno Labbadia. Tyler Burrows has also put football behind, once he finishes his spell at TF1 this World Cup, that is. The vacancy at Udinese was filled by another of our managers, whose last spell in Italy saw him complete two seasons at Sampdoria, Super Lampard. With their £350k compensation, Lampard’s former employers Celtic hired unattached manager Ben Taylor, who manages in his fourth country. Bryan McGuinness also retired this month, ending his ten-year tenure at Chelsea. Twenty days after his farewell, the Blues were bought out by Taiwanese tycoon Shohei Yang. Yang is taking his time assessing the managerial options available to him, although the gossip column has the club’s assistant manager Adrian Viveash as taking the top job. Yang would be wise to wait until some national managers leave their country’s after the World Cup.

Oh, yes, I almost forgot about that! We’ll head back to Australia, looking at Group E. The group was a low-scoring one, and the lowest scorers of all were the Czech Republic, who didn’t get on the scoresheet at all. Having said that, though, they only conceded once, drawing goalless with the Côte d’Ivoire and Italy, and losing to China. The Chinese, however, were thoroughly seen off in their other two games, and lost them both 0-2. Neilio’s Italy got a second 2-0 win, over the Ivorians, and so topped the group while the African nation came second.

canvey!!’s Prediction: Italy, Czech Republic, Côte d’Ivoire, China

Actual Result: Italy (7), Côte d’Ivoire (4), China (3), Czech Republic (2)

Accuracy: 60%

Group F was closely fought, despite the presence of Brazil, and supposed minnows Saudi Arabia. The Brazilians did win the group, but they lost one of their games. They beat Tim Aubel’s United States 4-0 in their opening game, before winning 3-1 over Saudi Arabia in Perth. But they were undone by Craig Gordon’s Scotland, who beat them 1-0 in Sydney with an 85th-minute goal. Scotland had beaten the Saudis 3-0, but they too lost, to the Americans, who won 1-0 in Brisbane with Yoshitaka Kamiya scoring his only goal of the tournament. That left Saudi Arabia out, but that didn’t stop them; they put out Aubel’s nation with a 2-1 victory in the final group game. The United States finished bottom on goals scored.

canvey!!’s Prediction: Brazil, Scotland, United States, Saudi Arabia

Actual Result: Brazil (6), Scotland (6), Saudi Arabia (3), United States (3)

Accuracy: 80%

We’ll skip to Group H, where we find hosts Australia. They did phenomenally in their opening game, thrashing Colombia 6-0 in Perth, with a 5-0 half time lead. Surprisingly, their most valuable player, Nicky Hutchinson, the highest-rated player at the tournament, didn’t score any of those goals, but he did add the sixth, and get one assist. Meanwhile, Mexico beat Germany 2-1 in a fierce match. The Mexicans went on to win all their games, 2-1 over Australia and 1-0 over Colombia. Germany recovered to beat Colombia 3-0, and their final match against Australia would determine who went through. Germany dominated their Oceanic opponents, but couldn’t score, and a 0-0 draw put Australia through on goal difference.

canvey!!’s Prediction: Germany, Mexico, Colombia, Australia

Actual Result: Mexico (9), Australia (4), Germany (4), Colombia (0)

Accuracy: 40%

We’ll conclude with the most open group, and it was, in fact, so open, that my tip for group winner failed to proceed. Russia started poorly with a 0-1 loss to their neighbours Ukraine, and, although they took the lead in the first minute, followed that up with a 1-2 defeat to Cameroon. They did win their final match against Iran, but that was not enough. Ukraine proceeded to win all three games, beating Iran 2-0 and Cameroon 5-2. But Cameroon finished in second place, having started brilliantly with a 3-0 victory over Iran. In Cameroon’s matches, striker Joseph Pierre and midfielder François Billong got three goals each.

canvey!!’s Prediction: Russia, Cameroon, Ukraine, Iran

Actual Result: Ukraine (9), Cameroon (6), Russia (3), Iran (0)

Accuracy: 60%

So the Second Round came next, with some enthralling ties. Argentina would play their neighbours Uruguay, while all three African teams would face tough opposition; Ghana played England, Côte d’Ivoire played Brazil, and Cameroon played Mexico.

Four of the Second Round matches have already taken place, and the South American nations got things started. 16 minutes in, Argentina took the lead, with Hércules defender Luis Miranda heading in a corner from Ariel Sandoval. After a further ten minutes, however, Uruguay had things level again from a corner of their own, when Atlético Madrid’s Heber Valenzuela, who has one of the coolest surnames ever, bent his corner kick into the goal. The sides entered the break level, but Argentina took the lead again with fourteen minutes to go. This time, Aston Villa striker Mauro Gómez was the one with his head on the ball from the corner. The last few minutes were nervy, but the defending champions held out to win 2-1.

That same day, another Second Round match also ended 2-1. Japan were playing Serbia, and, just after half an hour, it was the Japanese that took the lead, with 24-year-old forward Yu Usui scoring a goal despite the onrush of Serbian defenders. But it took Serbia just three minutes to get back into the game, with Lazio’s blond striker Marko Milivojevic scoring. Japan had the better of the game, outshooting their opponents two-to-one, but in the end it was Serbia who took the victory. Chelsea’s £16M-rated striker Stefan Pejic scored the winner, taking advantage of Japanese defensive weaknesses to head home a corner.

Brettney Joven’s England were in action next, and were looking to continue their fine form, form that might take them to the Jules Rimet trophy. They played Ghana, and had no trouble notching up a two-goal lead in a three-minute period between the 23rd and 26th minutes. Napoli’s Dan Shepherd got the first, and Man City’s Joe Ward got the second. Keith Smith made it 3-0 with a goal four minute from the end of the first half, eventually poking the ball home after Ghana failed to deal with a corner kick from Ward. England couldn’t extend their lead in the second half, but they kept Ghana at bay for most of it, only being breeched four minutes from time, when Ajax striker Isaac Edusei ran free of his defender and powered away to score from the quick counter-attack. But England won 3-1, although Moses Abdulazeez left the field late on with a bruised head that may keep him out of the Quarter Finals.

Finally, Fréderico Canvey’s Spain took on Croatia in Sydney. Unfortunately for Spain, they found themselves 0-2 down very quickly. AEK Athens striker Boris Vukovic got Croatia’s first goal after seventeen minutes, concluding a brilliant move by his team with a sublime finish into the bottom corner. Three minutes later, 29-year-old midfielder Ivan Bubic got the second, with his long-range shot deflecting off the head of centreback Enrique. However, Canvey’s Spain did the right thing, scoring a goal of their own fairly quickly, in minute 28. After receiving a corner to his feet at the near post, Felipe Medina spun and fired the ball into the Croatia net. They pushed, but their opponents held firm, and Spain were unable to add another goal to their tally either in the first half or the second. Croatia advance to the next round, while the Spanish suffer a second consecutive Last 16 exit.

The other matches take place next month, when Neilio’s Italy will be in action, but we’ll finish by looking to the future. Two of our managers finished their careers this month, and some more retirements are planned for this time next year. Tim Aubel, of course, will be leaving his United States job and his sport in December, while next summer, three managers are on their way out. Maz Armley has timetabled his retirement for next June, for some reason just two weeks before his under 19s team would start their European Championship. His colleague Brettney Joven will retire that July, although it isn’t yet known whether she’ll stay with England until then. Finally, long-serving Napoli boss Lord Weeman will hang up his boots on June 25th. That means that in the next twelve months, Tom Smith must leave or get fired in order for Weeman to win 60 to One. With Portugal failing at the World Cup, that is a possibility. We shall see…

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   8028
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        8028

All Star Top Five – League Titles Won

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Current Club L[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] tomsmith1989  Tom Smith        Arsenal       Arsenal      9 *
2nd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] el sid        Cool Manager     At. Madrid    Inter        8
3rd[color=#006400] +2[/color] MikaelS       Mikael Schøler   Bologna       Real Madrid  4
4th[color=#006400] +2[/color] weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman      Napoli        Napoli       2 *
5th[color=#006400] +2[/color] brettney1980  Brettney Joven   Wigan         England      1
  - [color=#006400]+2[/color] Ridleys       James Ridley     Siena         Newcastle    1
  - [color=#006400]+2[/color] ssestig       Theo Stigarakis  Catania       Aston Villa  1
  - [color=#006400]+2[/color] super_lampard Super Lampard    Lecce         Udinese      1
  - [color=#006400]+2[/color] canvey!!      Fréderico Canvey Stoke         Spain        1

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Update 265

Years: 22, Months: 265, Days: 8059

It is June 6th, and I am listening to New Wave music (specifically, Japanese Boy by Aneka). In the world of 60 to One in July 2030, there has been a different new wave; a new wave of international managers, after a post-World Cup exodus. We’ll come on to that; but first, let’s pick up where we left off, halfway through the Last 16.

Brazil were given a fairly easy route to the Quarter Final, as they hosted Côte d’Ivoire in Adelaide. Interestingly, the deadlock wasn’t broken at half time, although the 45th-minute red card given to 22-year-old Ivorian striker Dider Koné would make things much tougher for his country in the second half. They did last 12 minutes after the restart, but went 0-1 down soon enough. The Brazil lead was doubled after a further six minutes, with Bayern Munich’s Maycon scoring in the 63rd minute. Finally, Brazil completed their victory in the 87th minute, through A.C. Milan striker Sandro.

The rest of the Second Round matches all ended 1-0. Mexico were involved in a pretty close battle with Cameroon, but after the Mexicans scored in the 3rd minute, the Cameroonians could muster no reprise. Host Australia had their participation in the tournament ended at the hands of Ukraine, who won with a goal from Metalurg Donetsk striker Andrey Kuznetsov in the 37th minute. Ukraine went a man down in the 55th minute, and two men down in the 89th, but Australia couldn’t score, despite on the whole having the better of the game. Finally, an unfortunate goal from Derby centreback Bill Barton in the second minute gave Neilio’s Italy victory, and eventually led to the sacking of Scotland boss Craig Gordon. To be fair, Italy bossed the game from start to finish, even though they didn’t score again.

Italy trebled their margin of victory in the Quarter Finals. They faced Mexico, and once again, took the lead early on. This time, it was through one of their own player’s, as Napoli’s Gianni De Santis put the ball away in the fourth minute. Eight minutes later, it was game on as De Santis scored a second goal. The 3-0 victory was rounded off for Neilio’s side when Inter midfielder Luca Mattioli capitalised on Mexican defensive confusion to ping the ball onto the post and in. Elsewhere, Croatia took a ninth-minute lead against Argentina, only to have it cancelled out three minutes later. Argentina controlled the game, but couldn’t finish their chances. Half time came and went, full time came and went, and things worsened as captain Emanuel Páez was sent off in the 96th minute. Finally, it took penalties, but a miss from Roma’s José Luis Moreno meant that Croatia were the Semi-Finalists.

After their fortuitous win over Australia in the Second Round, Ukraine really upped their game against Brazil. This enabled them to take the lead through Valencia striker Artem Kozyr in the 41st minute, after the 27-year-old curled in a neat free kick. They were cruising into the Final Four, even with their slim lead, as full time approached. Brazil had had unsporting fullback Sérgio João sent off in the fiftieth minute. However, the South American nation had managed to keep a foothold in the match, and grabbed an equalising goal six minutes from time. Ukrainian heads dropped, but were lifted by a full-time team talk from manager Yuriy Kalitvintsev. Just as half time in extra time approached, young Ukrainian leftback Yuriy Zadoya placed a sweet free kick in the top-right corner, scoring a goal that would turn out to be the winner.

The Serbia-England match was also won with a goal just before half time in extra time. Brettney Joven’s England had taken the lead in the 55th minute through Man City attacking midfielder Joe Ward. But, after centreback Clark Guy fouled Serbia’s Miodrag Popovic in the area in the 68th minute, Popovic himself took a spot kick that levelled the score for his side. In the end, extra time had to be used to settle things, and, despite England’s having the better of the match on the whole, the winner went Serbia’s way, as experienced centreback Dusan Sarac rifled in an inspirational shot from outside the area in the 103rd minute.

We’ll take a break from the World Cup to see what our two managers were up to this month. In England, Tom Smith’s Arsenal had a smaller pre-season period, and so only played two friendlies. They travelled to Hamilton Academicals, where they won 3-1 with goals from Andy Withe, José César, and Johan Andersson, before playing their annual game against Nagoya Stolz, which ended 1-1, the first time in ten years that Arsenal hadn’t won. Smith made one signing this month, bringing in Chelsea’s 27-year-old Australian goalkeeper Curtis Phillips for £1.7M, although the Gunners are expected to make a further £6.5M transfer next month.

Over in Italy, Lord Weeman also played just two friendlies, although as the Italian season starts later, they have more planned for next month. They travelled to Benevento and won 3-1, before a flight over the pond to beat Seattle Sounders 5-0. Captain Mattia Silvestri, and Mexican striker Juan Pablo Valdés each got three goals over the two matches. Napoli were busy in the transfer window this month. They bought versatile Paraguayan defender Diego Trinidad from his two owners A.C. Milan and Sampdoria for a total of £13M, and another versatile defender Emanuele Giorgi from Dortmund for £10.75M. Weeman also bought two half-players, investing in co-ownership deals in Modena’s defender Carlo Serra for £1.3M, and Genoa’s promising goalkeeper Raffaele Bedin for £4k. Plenty of players left San Paolo; goalkeeper Daniele Bertoli signed for Chelsea for £1.3M, centreback Carles Domínguez signed for Roma for £5.5M, talented left winger Carmine Fusco also moved to Olimpico, for £16.5M, and versatile Australian defender Christopher Newsham signed for Inter for £12.75M after 10 years with Napoli.

Speaking of Australians, we’ll join some of them now, as they watch the first of the World Cup Semi-Finals in a sports bar in Sydney. The tournament is being held in their country for the first time, and these Australians were watching the national team that put their own out; Ukraine. Unfortunately for them, the match wasn’t that interesting, although it did end in a nervy penalty shootout. Not a goal was scored in normal time or extra time, so things were settled from the spot. Both sides scored all five of their first five penalty kicks, meaning things went to sudden death. Ukraine scored, as did Croatia. Ukraine then scored again, as did Croatia. Ukraine’s Mykyta Yatsenko scored, and Croatia’s Matej Rodic stepped up to do the same. Only he didn’t; his spot kick was saved by Ukraine ‘keeper Ravil Fedorov, and so Ukraine were in the World Cup Final!

Croatia’s neighbours Serbia had a chance to get there instead of Croatia, and they were playing Neilio’s Italy. The match was close and fiercely-contested, but neither side could score before half time. A further twenty minutes of the match then ticked away before the ball went in the net. The kicker: Inter’s £18.25M midfielder Luca Mattioli, who completed a fine Italy move by sticking his leg out and letting the ball, which had just come from Mattioli’s teammate (both club and country) Filippo Valentini’s own poor shot, enter the Serbia goal. That proved to be the only goal of the match, the one that put our humble former Almería manager into the World Cup Final.

First, however, was the Third Place Playoff. Zaragoza striker Miodrag Popovic gave Serbia a 1-0 lead over Croatia fourteen minutes in when he sneaked the ball into the bottom corner of the goal. Yet it didn’t take the Croatians long to get back into the match; midfielder Zvonimir Zuvela scored in the 16th minute, rifling in a long-range shot after Serbia failed to close down the Croatia players. But it was clear which way the tide was turning, as, despite being outshot by their opponents, Serbia recaptured their lead just before the half hour mark, and doubled in in the 35th minute. They went into half time 3-1 up, and, despite losing left winger Filip Danilovic, who had scored the second goal, to a red card in the 54th minute, they didn’t suffer any comeback from their opponents, and achieved their best World Cup finish to date.

80,000 fans packed the rafters of Stadium Australia in Sydney as Ukraine met Italy in the World Cup Final. They were joined by just under a billion people watching worldwide on television and on the internet. Just 23 people were on the pitch, under the observance of spectators 40 million times their number. At three o’ clock, Brazilian referee Jair Soares Santos blew his whistle for kick off. Ukraine actually got the first chances, but the game very quickly swung in Italy’s favour in the 14th minute, when Inter midfielder Luca Mattioli curled in a shot from long range. The game actually had very little in it after that until the next goal, which also went Italy’s way, in the 37th minute. 31-year-old rightback Giovanni Maria Amico took a corner, which soared over the head of striker Filippo Valentini to the feet of Eros Brunetti, who tapped the ball in. Ukraine had their best chance of the match shortly before half time, when Bayern Munich midfielder Leonid Zvyagin tried to do a Mattioli, bending the ball towards goal from long range. Half the ground thought it was in, but the ball hit the side netting.

Ukraine continued to create chances in the second half, although they lacked the edge that Neilio’s Italy seemed to have. Just before the hour mark, Eros Brunetti tried to get his own long-range curler, but his fiery shot stung the hands of Ukrainian goalkeeper Ravil Fedorov. 70 minutes in, a Ukrainian corner from Zygavin was met by the head of forward Victor Nikitin, but the ball went rather wide of goal. Time didn’t seem to be on Ukraine’s side; before they knew it, ninety minutes had passed and they only had stoppage time to grab two goals. An unlikely feat, but one that Yuriy Kalitintsev’s team would attempt. Victor Nikitin had a chance from a one-on-one, but was blocked by Italian ‘keeper Alessandro Carlucci. That turned out to be the last shot of the match, and Neilio joined the likes of Franz Beckenbauer, Alf Ramsay, and Vicente del Bosque. That’s a fifth win for Italy, and a place in history for our humble former Almería manager.

As usual, a spate of sackings and managerial departures followed the World Cup. His second round loss to Croatia saw Fréderico Canvey out of the door at Spain, while Frédéric Remola left France after they whimpered out at the group stage without a win. Scotland and Craig Gordon parted company, as did Germany and Jürgen Klopp. Tunisia were the only African competitors to keep their coach, as Cameroon, Côte d’Ivoire, Ghana, and Nigeria sacked their managers. The top three nations all surprisingly opted for changes, with Serbia replacing Dragisa Gavrilovic with young manager Vladimir Dragutinovic, Ukraine replacing Yuriy Kalitintsev with Oleg Luzhnyi, and Italy replacing Neilio with novice Matteo Mazza. Josep Guardiola left his job at Old Trafford to take the Spain job, and Manchester United consequently appointed Rangers’ Ståle Solbakken. Craig Gordon moved on to Ibrox, while Neilio graced La Liga champions Zaragoza with his presence, replacing their recently-retired manager Marcelino. Mexico were announced as hosts of the 2038 tournament, after it travels to Greece in four years’ time.

In other news, Napoli boss Lord Weeman has said that he will spend just one more year at the club he has managed for 22 years, before hanging up his boots. That does, of course, mean that Tom Smith just has to avoid leaving or being sacked in the next 11 months to win 60 to One. Given that Portugal manager Paulo Ferreira kept his job despite their disappointing World Cup group stage exit, it does look like Smith will be lifting the crown come next summer.

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   8059
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        8059

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All Star Top Five – Cups Won

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Current Club C[/b]
1st [color=#006400]+2[/color] el sid        Cool Manager     At. Madrid    Inter       17
2nd [color=#006400]+2[/color] weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman      Napoli        Napoli      14 *
3rd [color=#006400]+2[/color] tomsmith1989  Tom Smith        Arsenal       Arsenal     13 *
4th[color=#006400] +4[/color] MikaelS       Mikael Schøler   Bologna       Real Madrid  7
  - [color=#006400]+2[/color] Martin_       Martin Bojangles Hull                       7

Lifespan – 10 to 20 Years

[b] Pos Username             Manager             Club        Days[/b]
3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid 6573
4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     6370
5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   6224
6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham   3800

Lifespan – 5 to 10 Years

[b] Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days[/b]
7th TaylorB              Ben Taylor          Fiorentina 3442
8th fergysafc            Liam Ferguson       Man City   2783
9th JSalter              James Salter        Reggina    2710
10th mikeytwigge          Mikey Twigge        Palermo    2507
11th BenArsenal           Ben Cee             Inter      2502
12th super_lampard        Super Lampard       Lecce      2119
13th Cardiovascular       Cardio Vascular     Genoa      2010
14th Lower Leagues Rule   Jonte Rhodes        Lazio      1968

Lifespan – 2 to 5 Years

[b] Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days[/b]
15th hasdgfas             Tim Aubel           Fulham     1705
16th ~Ian~                Bryan McGuinness    Everton    1701
17th rancer890            Ricky Nakano        Middlesbro 1614
18th ssestig              Theo Stigarakis     Catania    1405
19th bermybhoy            bermybhoy           Atalanta   1320
  - IlikeJellybeans      Jellybean Man       Numancia   1320
21st m1234566778          Maz Armley          Racing     1288
22nd el sid               Cool Manager        At. Madrid 1263
23rd spartans5            Lawrence Lazewski   Valencia   1259
24th Greasy Chip Butty    Andy Morton         Sporting   1244
25th Martin_              Martin Bojangles    Hull       1241
26th clrkaitken           Clark Aitken        Roma       1237
27th Waghlon              Lars Tommersen      Villarreal 1230
28th Walcott’s Wonderkids Brucie Bonus        West Brom  1210
29th Almondo              Arnold J. Rimmer    Bolton     1208
30th Neji                 Neji Hyuuga         Deportivo   999
31st Jack Rudd            Lisa Jeffries       Juventus    925
32nd pnefc22              Wobill Luman        Betis       889
33rd AtilasMiserly        Will de Mote        A.C. Milan  882
34th JoeLatics            Joe Gleeson         Espanyol    873
  - Blanco               Cristobal Blanco    Recreativo  873
36th ian_1982             Maurice Jobson      Man United  852
37th Ridleys              James Ridley        Siena       843

Lifespan – 1 to 2 Years

[b] Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days[/b]
38th conners              Sirus Lannock       Málaga     628
39th MikaelS              Mikael Schøler      Bologna    613
40th Swafe                Saul Goode          Osasuna    551
41st hamilton162          Tom Hamilton        Mallorca   509
42nd kashmirshazad        Shazad Ali          Newcastle  508
43rd DiscoStu94           Da Hoover Man       Sampdoria  501
  - ScottT!              Scott Tysoe         Sunderland 501
45th canvey!!             Fréderico Canvey    Stoke      476

Lifespan – Less than 1 Year

[b] Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days[/b]
46th corinthiano          Mathias Brunckhorst Chievo     327
  - Neilio               Neilio              Almería    327
48th Robert_296           Robert Boyle        Blackburn  326
49th brettney1980         Brettney Joven      Wigan      320
50th TigerJoe             Joe Seddon          Getafe     271
51st jack.browne          Jack Browne         Sevilla    250
52nd NepentheZ            Neppo Monster       Cagliari   236
  - dafuge               dafuge              Torino     236
54th KiddingChoc          Zach Machios        Portsmouth 235
  - Whoopy D             Whoopy D            West Ham   235
56th d-machine            David Machine       Athletic   229
57th PaulHartman71        Jeremy English      Liverpool  204
58th Chimpos              Phill Ewles         Valladolid
  - tadr                 Andre da Conceiçao  Chelsea
  - markcator3006        Mark Cator          Aston Villa

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Update 266

Years: 22, Months: 266, Days: 8090

22 years after the start of 60 to One, only 30% of the original sixty managers are still in the game. We’ll go through those eighteen managers in order of their sackings from their original clubs, and see how they did in August 2030.

Phill Ewles has had a very good start to the season at Leeds. His club are predicted to finish ninth in this season’s Premier League, but after three games, they lead the way. They started their season with a 3-1 victory over Leicester City, with Iranian striker Holger Leschinski bagging a hattrick. They then won 1-0 at Crystal Palace, with a 90+3rd winner from Leschinski, before a 2-1 home win over Southampton. Leeds are the only side to have taken nine points from their three first games, but Hull and Everton aren’t too far behind, both on seven points. Ewles’ Leeds also won their Carling Cup Second Round match this month, beating Southend 4-1, with another late goal from Leshchinski. Leshchinski will be integral to Leeds’ season, and their attempt to secure European football for the first time since Maz Armley’s tenure.

Former Torino manager dafuge has had a good start to his season at Atlético Madrid. After their Semi-Final exit in last year’s tournament, Atlético entered the Europa League at the Third Qualifying Round, where they beat Cyprus’ Apollon Limassol 5-0 away and 1-0 at home. This gave dafuge’s side a Fourth Qualifying Round match against ZTE of Hungary, who were beaten 3-0 in Madrid and 10-0 in Hungary for a dominant 13-0 victory. Atlético are tipped for a second consecutive seventh-place finish this year, but dafuge has invested in £35.5M of new players this summer, including Moldovan striker Spartak Udalchikov from Elche for £20.5M.

Brettney Joven remains in charge of England despite a Quarter Final exit at this year’s World Cup in Australia. Next July, Joven will leave football, but she has seven England matches to play in the meantime, including five qualifying games for Euro 2032 in Germany. England find themselves in a qualifying group with Liechtenstein, Austria, Iceland, and their World Cup conquerors Serbia. Joven’s under 21 manager is Robert Boyle, who shares his time between that job and his club role as Valencia manager. Valencia open their season away to James Salter’s Las Palmas, but after a good pre-season, Boyle will be confident that they can live up to their third-place expectation. Boyle splashed the cash this summer, spending £86M, with the biggest signing being the £17.25M one of American left winger Tony Heaney from A.C. Milan. But Valencia did bring in £61M from sales, including that of World Cup finalist Juri Rigamonti, who joined Juventus for £22.5M.

Robert Boyle’s Valencia will find themselves pitted against Zaragoza this season. Zaragoza, who won La Liga last year, now have World Cup winning manager Neilio at the helm, and are hopeful of winning the title again despite their second-place prediction. In little over a month at Zaragoza Stadium, Neilio has already won his first silverware, as he took his team to victory in the Spanish Super Cup with a 5-3 aggregate win over Elche, including a 3-1 home victory. Incidentally, they start their season against the Alicante side. Meanwhile, Neilio’s fellow former international boss, and fellow former Alavés manager, Fréderico Canvey, is without work following his brutal sacking from the Spanish national team post last month.

Mikael Schøler has already got his league season started at Real Madrid, and they won their first match, 3-1 over Mallorca. Schøler has had a relatively quiet summer, spending just £15.75M on incoming players and raising only £18M through sales. Spanish defender and midfielder Miguel González was the biggest player to move, as he left for Cool Manager’s Inter for £15M. Over in England, Newcastle manager James Ridley has made a pretty poor start to the season. They drew 1-1 at home to arch-rivals Sunderland, a result that didn’t exactly please the fans, before losing 1-2 at Leicester. They were then held to a goalless draw by a Crystal Palace team that they outshot nineteen to one, another disappointing result. They sit sixteenth, twelve places lower than their pre-season prediction. Ridley, of course, used to manager Manchester United. Another former manager of theirs, Martin Bojangles, who spent two-and-a-half years at the club between 2023 and 2026, has been out of work for two years. The 62-year-old will be hoping for a club to approach him so that he can go out on a high.

At Inter, former Atlético Madrid boss Cool Manager has had an okay start to the season. They did win the Italian Super Cup with a 3-0 victory over arch-rivals A.C. Milan at Giuseppe Meazza, but they lost the UEFA Super Cup in Monaco, to Lord Weeman’s Napoli. Despite owning six of the twenty-eight players to play in the World Cup Final, Manager strengthened his squad with £125M of new purchases. Notably, Miguel González arrived from Real Madrid for £15M as already discussed, Liverpool’s Swiss defender Thorben Schmidt arrived for £25M, Juventus’ attacking midfielder Reuben Hayward signed for £32M, and solid centreback Vincenzo Calzavara arrived from A.C. Milan for £34.5M. If that’s not a signal of Cool Manager’s intention to make it three Scudettos in a row, I don’t know what is. He’ll also be keen to lift the Champions League, a competition he won for the first time last year. Next up, Maz Armley continues his six-year service at England under 19s. However, he has declared his intention to retire next June.

Over at Villa Park, journeyman manager Theo Stigarakis has made a decent start to the season. They opened with a 2-1 home victory over Crystal Palace, before suffering a reversal of that scoreline away to Southampton. They also advanced to the Europa League group stages after two 3-0 victories over Iceland’s Knattspyrnufélag Reykjavíkur in the Fourth Qualifying Round. Villa are tipped to finish sixth in this season’s Premier League, and European football will definitely be Stigarakis’s target. Meanwhile, the next manager to retire will be Tim Aubel. His United States team left the World Cup in the group stages, and Aubel will be calling it a day come November. His farewell match will be a friendly against New Zealand in Auckland.

In Italy, Super Lampard has a 100% winning record in charge of his new club Udinese. They won their first and only match of the season, a Coppa Italia Third Qualifying Round match, 2-0 against Chievo. Lampard secured the services of 34-year-old former Man City midfielder Michael Hansen. Still, that alone won’t get them the eighth-place finish tipped for them, and I predict a long, hard season ahead for them. Over in Spain, James Salter is gearing up for his second season as Las Palmas manager. He ended last season 14th, and is tipped to finish one place higher this year. Salter’s marquee signing this summer was cultured Spanish attacking midfielder Guillermo Aguilar, who joined from Mantova for £4.7M. In Scotland, Ben Taylor has played his first matches as Celtic boss. They had a dull Champions League qualifying campaign, edging past Braga 1-0 on aggregate thanks to a goal from Spanish midfielder Axier Franco at Celtic Park. They won their home game in their Third Qualifying Round 1-0 as well, against Shakhtar, with Franco scoring again, but they had already lost 0-2 in Ukraine, and so enter the Europa League rather than the Champions League. Taylor is 65 but has no plans to retire just yet.

That leads us to our two remaining managers. In England, Tom Smith has made an interesting start to the season, drawing all three games. They started away to Jürgen Klinsmann’s Manchester City, who had just lifted the Community Shield 4-1 on penalties after a 2-2 draw with Chelsea at Wembley, drawing 3-3 thanks to an 85th minute goal from Portuguese striker José César. They then hosted Adrian Viveash’s Chelsea, with whom they drew 1-1 thanks to another César goal. They then travelled to Goodison Park, drawing 1-1 with Everton. Smith’s side did manage to successfully navigate through a Champions League qualifying round, winning 5-2 in Athens against AEK, and beating the Greek side 3-1 at Smith Arena for an 8-3 aggregate victory. Their group is far from easy; Marseille, Anderlecht, and Mikael Schøler’s Real Madrid make up their opponents. In next month’s Carling Cup Third Round, the Gunners travel to Old Trafford to face Ståle Solbakken’s Manchester United, who currently sit fourth in the Premier League. Arsenal are tenth. Tom Smith does not usually make a lot of transfers, and he continued that custom this summer. His only signing was that £1.7M purchase of Chelsea’s Australian goalkeeper Curtis Phillips that was mentioned in the last update.

Lord Weeman’s Napoli haven’t started their league season yet, but have been playing cup games. As mentioned earlier, they hauled the UEFA Super Cup with a victory over Inter. Enthusiastic English winger Matt Taylor, signed for £28M two years ago, scored the only goal of the game in the 81st minute. This gives Weeman a hattrick of UEFA Super Cup victories. Napoli also cruised through their Champions League qualifying round, beating the Netherlands’ Vitesse 8-0 at San Paolo and 5-1 in Arnhem. Hélder Trindade scored three goals over the two legs, Mattia Silvestri scored four, and Diego Gutiérrez scored five. Napoli’s group is also not easy; they play Shakhtar Donetsk, Bordeaux, and Valencia in the group stages. Napoli have done a fair amount of strengthening this summer, but I’d say their outgoing transfers were more notable. Weeman bought versatile Paraguayan defender Diego Trinidad from A.C. Milan and Sampdoria for a total of £13M, and another young defender, Emanuele Giorgi, from Dortmund for £10.75M. But the bigger news is that decisive Australian fullback Christopher Newsham, who has served Napoli for eleven years, was sold to Cool Manager’s Inter for £12.75M, and that left winger Carmine Fusco signed for Roma for £16.5M. In all, Napoli spent £25M on purchases and raised £36M from sales. Weeman, as we know, will retire next June, and so he has just 298 days left in football. He already has his first piece of silverware for the season, but how many can he accumulate in his final year in football?

Well, that question will be answered in the ten updates to come. Season twenty-three of twenty-three is under way!

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   8090
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        8090

All Star Top Five – Awards

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Current Club A[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] tomsmith1989  Tom Smith        Arsenal       Arsenal     45 *
2nd [color=#006400]+2[/color] el sid        Cool Manager     At. Madrid    Inter       17
3rd [color=#006400]+5[/color] Ridleys       James Ridley     Siena         Newcastle   13
  - [color=#006400]+2[/color] weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman      Napoli        Napoli      13 *
5th [color=#006400]+1[/color] Martin_       Martin Bojangles Hull                      11

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Update 267

Years: 22, Months: 267, Days: 8120

Lord Weeman’s last season has begun in earnest, and both of our managers have had very good months in September. We’ll come back to Weeman, who plies his trade at Italian club Napoli, and instead start in England.

Here, after a less than impressive start to the season last month, Tom Smith’s Arsenal have put in a brilliant performance in September. The Gunners won all their games in all competitions, and their three league victories see them climb from tenth to fourth. Domestically, they won 2-1 at home to Theo Stigarakis’s Aston Villa, 2-1 away to Phill Ewles’s Leeds, and 1-0 at home to James Ridley’s Newcastle. They also got a surprising victory in the Carling Cup Third Round, when they won 1-0 at Old Trafford thanks to a 27th minute goal from young striker José César. They also won by that scoreline in their other cup match, squeezing out Mikael Schøler’s Real Madrid in their Champions League group stage match at Smith Arena. In November’s Carling Cup Fourth Round, Arsenal have a big match against arch-rivals Tottenham.

So over to Lord Weeman then. His Napoli team also won all their games, and they sit top of Serie A at this early stage. They beat Mantova and Modena 2-0, and Genoa 1-0, but their more impressive victories were the 2-1 win at home to A.C. Milan, and the 5-0 drubbing of Jason Bowman’s Roma, who have made a terrible start to the season and sit 17th. Cool Manager’s Inter are Napoli’s closest competitors at this stage, sitting two points behind in second. They won four of their matches, but were held to a draw at Rimini. Udinese, Juventus, and Ascoli have all also reached double figures. In the Champions League, Napoli travelled to Ukrainian side Shakhtar Donetsk, where they won 2-1 thanks to goals from Italian Fabio Potacqui and Englishman Matt Taylor. The biggest victories of this month’s Champions League football fell to Bayern Munich and Roma, both in Group A, who beat Dinamo Kiev and Mlada Boleslav 5-0 respectively. Elsewhere, there were crushing 0-3 away defeats for Chelsea, at Rangers, and for Neilio’s Zaragoza, at Man City.

Neilio’s side are struggling to find form in La Liga, although it is still early days. With five games played, they have won twice, drawn twice, and lost twice, and sit sixth on eight points. dafuge's Atlético Madrid lead the league, having won thrice, and drawn and lost once. Racing are level with Atlético on ten points. Real Madrid find themselves eleventh, while Barcelona have started even worse, and sit sixteenth. Las Palmas are seventh, and Valencia are twelfth.

The season has kicked off, and both managers are doing well. How long can things last? The only way to find out is to read the next update!

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   8120
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        8120

All Star Top Five – Games Played at Current Club

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Current Club Pld[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] tomsmith1989  Tom Smith        Arsenal       Arsenal     1311 *
2nd [color=#0000cd] 0[/color] weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman      Napoli        Napoli      1127 *
3rd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] el sid        Cool Manager     At. Madrid    Inter        811
4th NE MikaelS       Mikael Schøler   Bologna       Real Madrid  197
5th NE Robert_296    Robert Boyle     Blackburn     Valencia     144

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Update 268

Years: 22, Months: 268, Days: 8151

The first sackings of the season took place this month, and I anticipate plenty more to come in the months ahead. Both of our managers remain in employment, however, so let’s see how they did in October 2030.

For Lord Weeman, it has been another good month. After winning three games and drawing one, his Napoli side are still top of Serie A. They beat Cagliari, as well as Juventus and Ascoli, two sides that had made good starts to the season, but drew with 19th-place Pescara in a goalless encounter at Adriatico. Napoli are one of two Italian sides unbeaten, the other being Cool Manager’s Inter, who are two points behind Napoli in second. Udinese sit third, and make Napoli’s next opponents. Down at the bottom, eight sides have yet to reach double figures after nine games played, and bottom-placed Vicenza have picked up just one point. Genoa and Fiorentina are among those eight teams, although Roma don’t make up that number, as they are beginning to recover from their poor start, and sit twelfth on eleven points.

In England, things haven’t gone so well for Arsenal manager Tom Smith. His side played four matches this month, but could only pick up that many points, and almost didn’t muster that many. They started tentatively but dramatically, edging out Sheffield Wednesday in a high-scoring game at Hillsborough, where braces for José César and young native striker Dale Thompson led to a 4-3 victory. The Gunners then welcomed Hull to Smith Arena, and were outshot by the Tigers, but escaped with a goalless draw. Two 0-1 losses followed, at Manchester United and at Queens Park Rangers. Arsenal are seventh in the Premier League, three points adrift of Adrian Viveash’s leaders Chelsea. They open next month at home to rivals Tottenham. At the bottom of the league, five teams are level on eight points; Southampton, Derby, Crystal Palace, Fulham, and Wolves. Things are pretty close throughout the division, then. Nottingham Forest lead the Championship, sitting five points ahead of Portsmouth after fourteen games. Birmingham sit bottom, yet to win.

This month saw the continuation of European football. Tom Smith’s Arsenal found it tough to play at the 60,000-capacity Stade Vélodrome, but managed to draw with home side Marseille. They then travelled to Anderlecht, where they won 4-1 thanks to a José César hattrick. Arsenal top their Champions League group on seven points, followed by Real Madrid on six. Lord Weeman’s Napoli won both their matches this month, and in fine form too. They beat Robert Boyle’s Valencia 3-1, before trouncing French visitors Bordeaux 4-1. Napoli have nine points to Valencia’s six and Bordeaux’s three. Bayern Munich, Feyenoord, Barcelona, and James Ridley’s Newcastle are the other sides with 100% winning records in their groups. The biggest news so far is of Chelsea’s dismal campaign. Despite topping the Premier League, the London side are struggling in their group. Last month’s loss to Rangers was joined this month by one at Feyenoord. The Pensioners did beat group whipping boys Wisla Krakow 4-0 at Chelsea Stadium, however.

Euro 2034 qualifying kicked off last month, but our manager wasn’t playing until this month. But Brettney Joven’s England made a phenomenal start to their qualifying campaign, thrashing Austria 4-1 at Ernst-Happel-Stadion, and annihilating Iceland 6-0 at Wembley. Joven gave Chelsea striker Ricky Lescott his first two caps, and the 26-year-old scored five goals over the two games. Napoli’s Matt Taylor also got a goal in each. Naturally, England top the group. Serbia are second, on four points. England’s 6-0 victory was the biggest of the month, but it was matched by Spain’s win over Belarus, Poland’s victory over Andorra, Estonia’s and Ireland’s thrashings of Luxembourg. Luxembourg already have a goal difference of -14 after three games, and are looking unlikely to qualify for the tournament in their neighbouring country of Germany. In other international news, Robert Boyle’s England under 21s qualified for the European U21 Championships with a 2-0 aggregate win over the Netherlands. England won the first leg 2-0, and held out for a goalless draw in Eindhoven. Next month, the Dream Team play the Czech Republic, while Tim Aubel plays his farewell friendly in New Zealand, and ends his career after spells with Fulham, Portsmouth, Villarreal, Racing, and the United States. His notable accolades are a Carling Cup win and Final with Portsmouth, and two Gold Cup victories and one runners-up performance with his national team.

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   8151
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        8151

All Star Top Five – Games Won at Current Club

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Current Club Won Percent Chnge[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] tomsmith1989  Tom Smith        Arsenal       Arsenal      851 (64.6%) [color=#ff0000]-0.3%[/color] *
2nd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman      Napoli        Napoli       676 (59.7%) [color=#006400]+0.6%[/color] *
3rd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] el sid        Cool Manager     At. Madrid    Inter        550 (67.3%) [color=#006400]+1.3%[/color]
4th NE MikaelS       Mikael Schøler   Bologna       Real Madrid  120 (59.1%)  n/a
5th NE Robert_296    Robert Boyle     Blackburn     Valencia      87 (58.0%)  n/a

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Update 269

Years: 22, Months: 269, Days: 8181

We’re well and truly into sacking season, and plenty of managers have left their jobs this month. The dismissals are getting closer to home too, as one of our former managers was relieved of his duties. We’ll come on to that, but we’re going to start with the Champions League.

Lord Weeman’s Napoli won both of their Champions League matches this month, and so fly into the next round. Firstly, they beat Bordeaux 2-0 at Stade Chaban-Delmas, before welcome Shakhtar Donetsk to San Paolo, and winning 1-0. Robert Boyle’s Valencia are second in the group, and host Napoli next, but Bordeaux are just one point behind them. Meanwhile, Tom Smith’s Arsenal booked their place in the next round despite losing this month. They beat Anderlecht 2-0 at Smith Arena, but, despite their dominance, lost 0-1 at the Bernabéu to an Emanuel Páez goal. Mikael Schøler’s Real Madrid top the group, two points ahead of the Gunners, but both sides are through. Elsewhere, Chelsea won both their matches this month, by a 7-1 total scoreline, to get their campaign back on track, leaving qualification secured if they can win at Wisla Krakow. Bayern Munich, Roma, Barcelona, A.C. Milan, Cool Manager’s Inter, Man City, and Newcastle have all booked their places in the next round, while Neilio’s Zaragoza join Valencia in still having to do so.

In Italy, Lord Weeman’s Napoli continue to fly ahead at the top of Serie A. This month, they got impressive victories over Udinese and Parma, both 3-0, Sampdoria, 3-1, and Lazio, 4-1. Once again, however, they dropped points with a goalless draw, this time at Rimini, seventeenth in the league. Cool Manager’s Inter are second, and join Napoli in yet losing a game. The two sides meet next month, but even if there is a loser, there is a good ten points between Inter and third-placed Udinese. The Coppa Italia First Round also takes place next month, and Udinese are Napoli’s opponents.

Over in England, Tom Smith’s Arsenal have had a good month, continuing their season of alternating poor and good months. Victories were small, but were victories nonetheless, as the Gunners beat Tottenham and Leicester 2-1, and Sunderland 1-0. Had they scored in goalless draws at home to Fulham and away to Liverpool, they would be top of the league. Instead, that honour goes to Frank Lampard’s Everton, after they won all their games this month, including a 4-0 victory over Europa League team Q.P.R.. Chelsea are second, three points behind the Toffees, and Arsenal are level with the Pensioners on 27 points. In the Carling Cup Fourth Round this month, Smith’s side hosted rivals Tottenham, and beat them 2-1 thanks to goals from José César and Romanian attacking midfielder Ioan Dumitrescu. Arsenal travel to Southampton in the Quarter Finals, while Fulham host Sunderland, and Leicester host Man City. Nottingham Forest and Portsmouth meet in an all-Championship encounter.

Staying in England, one of our former managers found his board less than happy with him this month. After a 0-1 loss at Derby County, and with his side 14th in the league, ten places below expectations, James Ridley was sacked by Newcastle, bringing his two-and-a-half year tenure to an end. During his time at the club, Ridley had guided Newcastle to a fourth- and third-place finish. Magpies chairman Scott Page turned to former Stoke, Everton and Spain manager Fréderico Canvey. The 57-year-old is on a five-year contract at £24,500 per week, and has already guided the team to a 7-0 victory over Northern Irish side Cliftonville in the Champions League. Elsewhere in England, Brettney Joven’s national team fell to a surprise friendly defeat, 0-3 against the Czech Republic at Wembley. Chelsea forward David Slavik scored twice for the Czechs in what was a poor game for the home side. Robert Boyle’s under 21s won 2-1 with two goals from Celtic’s Joe White, and dafuge’s under 20s won 5-0 with two goals from Q.P.R.’s Robert Vernon, and three from Oldham’s Steve Shaw. Maz Armley’s under 19s held the Czechs to a goalless draw at the Walkers Stadium. In Oceania, Tim Aubel ended his reign as United States manager, and his career in football, with a 2-0 victory over New Zealand. Feyenoord’s Guillame Nakajima-Farran and Standard Liège’s Yoshitaka Kamiya grabbed a goal each.

And then there were seventeen!

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   8181
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        8181

All Star Top Five – Games Drawn at Current Club

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Current Club Drn Percent Chnge[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] tomsmith1989  Tom Smith        Arsenal       Arsenal      254 (19.2%) [color=#006400]+0.4%[/color] *
2nd [color=#0000cd] 0[/color] weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman      Napoli        Napoli       238 (20.9%) [color=#ff0000]-0.2%[/color] *
3rd  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] el sid        Cool Manager     At. Madrid    Inter        157 (19.1%) [color=#ff0000]-0.5%[/color]
4th NE MikaelS       Mikael Schøler   Bologna       Real Madrid   44 (20.9%)  n/a
5th NE Robert_296    Robert Boyle     Blackburn     Valencia      31 (19.7%)  n/a

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Update 270

Years: 22, Months: 270, Days: 8212

It’s 2031! Race to Mars, a Canadian miniseries aired in 2007, predicted that humans would first set foot on Mars in 2031. Of course, we all know that humans first set foot in Mars in 2029, but there is still significance in the symbolism. Maybe a third and final Scudetto isn’t quite Mars, but there is still a race towards it for Lord Weeman’s Napoli. We’ll come back to how his team fared in December 2030, but will instead start in England.

There, Tom Smith’s Arsenal have had a decent month, but not one they’d like to have too many of. They started with a 4-0 victory over relegation battlers Crystal Palace, before drawing 2-2 with Derby County at Pride Park. They then won 1-0 at Southampton and 3-1 at home to Wolves, but ended the month with a frustrating 0-1 defeat at home to Jürgen Klinsmann’s Manchester City. This leaves them fourth in the league, although they are joint on 37 points with third-placed Chelsea. Frank Lampard’s Everton continue to lead the way on 42 points. In the Carling Cup this month, Arsenal travelled to Southampton, where they won 3-2 thanks to a brace from José César. This gives them a two-legged Semi-Final against Sunderland, who are seventh in the Premier League. Meanwhile, Man City will host Championship table-toppers Nottingham Forest. Arsenal’s FA Cup Third Round match is at Reading, while Tottenham travel to non-league minnows Barrow. In Birmingham this month, the Aston Villa board lost patience with manager Theo Stigarakis, after defeat at home to Sunderland left them twelfth in the league, six places below expectations. Leeds manager Phill Ewles made the two hour journey down the M1 to take the vacant job at Villa Park, and Leeds appointed Lazio boss Roberto Di Matteo as the successor to the 60-year-old Ewles.

Another sacking this month took place in Spain, and took me by surprise. Valencia boss Robert Boyle had been pretty established at Nuevo Mestalla, having been in charge of the club for two years. However, a heavy defeat in the Champions League group stages, although it didn’t affect Valencia’s qualification for the next round, saw Boyle shown the door. At that point, the club had been eighth in La Liga, five places below expectations. Boyle can now concentrate solely on his job as England under 21s manager, and maybe after Brettney Joven’s retirement this summer, he can take control of the senior team. Betis boss David Rincón took over Boyle’s position.

In European football this month, Tom Smith’s Arsenal won their final group game, 3-2 at home to Marseille, with 28-year-old Northern Irish midfielder Kyle Davis bagging a brace. However, their groupmates, Mikael Schøler’s Real Madrid, won at Anderlecht, and so Arsenal finish second. Lord Weeman’s Napoli played Valencia, and their 3-0 victory, helped by a brace from Portuguese midfielder Hélder Trindade, prompted Robert Boyle’s sacking. Napoli topped the group after their 100% winning record, but Valencia did finish second, after Bordeaux’s failure to win at Shakhtar. Chelsea won 1-0 at Wisla Krakow while Rangers beat Feyenoord, so both British teams are through, while Feyenoord miss out on results between teams. In the Last 16, Arsenal have a delicious tie, as they play Cool Manager’s Inter, the defending champions of the tournament. Napoli play Craig Gordon’s Rangers. Neilio’s Zaragoza meet Chelsea, while Real Madrid play Benfica, and Fréderico Canvey’s Newcastle meet Roma. Austrian side Rapid Wien, who reached the knockout stages for the first time in their history, will clash with Spanish giants Barcelona. In the Europa League, Phill Ewles meets his former club as Aston Villa play Olympiakos, while dafuge’s Atlético Madrid play Saint-Etienne. Ben Taylor’s Celtic meet Werder Bremen.

And now we’ll move on to Lord Weeman and his race for the Scudetto. There’s been a hitch this month, as Napoli suffered their first loss of the season away to Cool Manager’s Inter, but Weeman’s side are still on track and lead Serie A. Despite their 1-2 defeat at Giuseppe Meazza, Napoli picked up six points this month, beating Bologna 3-1 and Frosinone 3-0, with captain Mattia Silvestri getting a hattrick in the latter match. They also cruised into the Coppa Italia Quarter Finals with a 3-0 win over Super Lampard’s Udinese in the First Round. Next, they’ll play Juventus at Delle Alpi. Inter are now just one point behind Napoli in the league, and dropped points at Ascoli mean they aren’t one ahead. Despite that, however, Manager’s side remain unbeaten, and this month they lifted the Club World Championship in Ghana, with a penalty win after a 2-2 draw with Argentine side River Plate. This is the first time that Manager has lifted the intercontinental competition, given that last year’s was his first Champions League victory.

The transfer window is about to open, so what changes will be made at Napoli to give them that edge over Inter? What will happen at Arsenal to spur them on to a title challenge? Will there be more sackings? Only time will tell.

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   8212
2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        8212

All Star Top Five – Games Lost at Current Club

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Current Club Lst Percent Chnge[/b]
1st  [color=#0000cd]0[/color] weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman      Napoli        Napoli       221 (19.3%) [color=#006400]-0.5%[/color] *
2nd  [color=#0000cd]0 [/color]tomsmith1989  Tom Smith        Arsenal       Arsenal      216 (16.2%) [color=#006400]-0.1%[/color] *
3rd [color=#006400]+1[/color] el sid        Cool Manager     At. Madrid    Inter        111 (13.4%) [color=#006400]-1.0%[/color]
4th NE MikaelS       Mikael Schøler   Bologna       Real Madrid   41 (19.1%)  n/a
5th NE JSalter       James Salter     Reggina       Las Palmas    23 (39.7%)  n/a

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Update 271

Years: 22, Months: 271, Days: 8243

271 updates ago, sixty managers embarked on this process. As of the start of this update, two of those remain, with a further fifteen managing at other clubs in England, Italy, Spain, and Scotland, or in charge of some part of the England team. Back when the first update was published, there were three sign-up runners, Gordon Brown was Prime Minister, swine flu was on the loose in Mexico, Michael Jackson, Bobby Robson and Henry Allingham were still alive, and the English Defence League was yet to be founded.

That’s enough nostalgia! Let’s get update two-hundred-and-seventy-one under way. We’ll start in Italy, where Lord Weeman’s Napoli have had a relatively poor month. They doubled their total number of losses this month, when they lost 0-2 away to third-placed Mantova. They did beat Modena 3-0 and Fiorentina 4-0, as well as a 1-0 win at Vicenza, but that loss to Mantova allows Cool Manager’s still-unbeaten Inter to take top spot in Serie A. Napoli’s Spanish striker Diego Gutiérrez was clinical in the three games where Napoli scored, netting five times, including a hattrick against the Florentines. Unfortunately for Napoli, their cup demise also came this month, at the hands of Juventus, who thrashed Weeman’s side 4-0 at Delle Alpi despite its being a close match. Juventus go on to face Sampdoria, while Roma play Inter. Napoli and Inter both have 53 points, but Inter’s goal difference is seven better than Napoli’s, and they have yet to lose a game.

Lord Weeman was quieter than usual in the transfer window this month. Only one player joined Napoli, with a further co-ownership being invested in. Inter’s Matteo Boscolo was the one to make the move, as the 31-year-old goalkeeper arrived for £2.2M. Napoli now own half of Pescara’s midfielder Fabrizio Silvestrini, which cost them £300k. They also bought out their co-ownership of Rimini’s centreback Gennaro Pini, which cost them £3.9M, and sold the 22-year-old on to Vicenza for £1.4M.

We’ll check in on Spain now, where José Ángel Ziganda’s Elche lead La Liga. They have been tipped for greatness ever since their takeover by Irish tycoon Andy Mooney back in 2026. Close behind them, however, are the two Madrilenian teams. dafuge's Atlético are just above their cross-town rivals, although both have 40 points to Elche’s 43. Behind them are Barcelona, and then Neilio’s Zaragoza. Given that Zaragoza won La Liga and Neilio won the World Cup last season, they could be expected to be strolling to success. That hasn’t happening, as they sit fifth, and so Neilio has taken the steps to rectify that this month, with an astronomical £40.5M transfer, as Lyon’s talented striker Patrick Berthet made the move to Zaragoza Stadium. Meanwhile, James Salter’s Las Palmas sit 13th.

Now we’ll check out how Portuguese manager Tom Smith’s month went. His Arsenal team started the month at Chelsea, where a goal from defender Chris Miller helped them to a 1-0 victory invaluable in the title race. Then came a trip to Reading for the FA Cup Third Round, but this ended goalless. Arsenal continued their low-scoring month in their Carling Cup Semi-Final first leg at home to Sunderland, where they won 1-0 thanks to a goal from Romanian Ioan Dumitrescu. Two goals from versatile blond midfielder Joe Jenkins gave them the biggest win of the month, at home to Everton, on January 11th. The icing on the cake for Smith after this victory was the news that, after their 0-1 loss at Craven Cottage and with the team 12th in the league, Arsenal’s rivals Tottenham sacked manager Bruno Labbadia, who had been at the club for just seven months. Unattached manager Theo Stigarakis was linked with the job, but Spurs decided to pay the compensation in order to get the right fit for the club. Mikael Schøler moved from warm Madrid to rainy London, as he took on the mantle at White Hart Lane for £33,000p/w. Real Madrid got £1M in compensation. But which manager would they spend it on? We’ll come back to that. First, it’s back to Arsenal’s month…

So of course, after that cup draw, Tom Smith and his Gunners would welcome Reading to Smith Arena. They weren’t the only ones being welcomed to Smith Arena; Smith did his standard one purchase per transfer window with a £2.2M spend on Juventus’ experienced midfielder Davide Gabrielli. One player left the club; Scottish goalkeeper Dave Cameron got his dream move to Lille, and gets to enjoy the Normandy weather. As for the game against Reading, Arsenal won 3-0, with Gabrielli getting his first goal for the club. Smith waved goodbye to the fans as he and the team left the field, for the next morning, he was announced as the new manager at the Bernabéu. After 21 titles, 865 victories, 1337 games, 2788 goals, and 8227 days at Arsenal, Smith left his favourite club for a chance at glory in Spain. He finishes second in 60 to One, which means Lord Weeman is the winner. James Ridley got the Arsenal job, sending them out of both the Carling Cup and the FA Cup, while Smith started with three wins from three.

That’s it, then, we’re done. 60 began, now just one remains!

Job Securities

[b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
1st weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   8243
2nd tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal                   8227

All Star Top Five – Goals Scored at Current Club

[b] Pos +- Username      Manager          Original Club Current Club Goals (Pr/G) Chnge[/b]
1st [color=#006400]+1[/color] weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman      Napoli        Napoli        2132 (1.85) [color=#006400]+0.02[/color] *
2nd [color=#006400]+1[/color] el sid        Cool Manager     At. Madrid    Inter         1674 (2.00) [color=#006400]+0.02[/color]
3rd NE dafuge        dafuge           Torino        At. Madrid     164 (2.08)  n/a
4th NE JSalter       James Salter     Reggina       Las Palmas      91 (1.47)  n/a
5th NE Neilio        Neilio           Almería       Zaragoza        61 (1.79)  n/a

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