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Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

[font=Courier New]  [b]Update Winner, Club                [/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
 [/font][font=Courier New]       Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid[/font]

All Star Top Ten – Lowest Goal Difference at Current Club

[font=Courier New]  [b] Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club GlDif[/b]
  [/font][font=Courier New]1st [color=green]+1[/color] Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Besiktas       -26
 [/font][font=Courier New] 2nd [color=green]+1[/color] JSalter         James Salter      Reggina       Murcia         -12
 [/font][font=Courier New] 3rd NE Ridleys         James Ridley      Siena         Lazio          - 4
 [/font][font=Courier New] 4th [color=red]-3[/color] Robert_296      Robert Boyle      Blackburn     Pompey/ENG u21 – 3
 [/font][font=Courier New] 5th NE canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Sampdoria        0
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th NE ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Leicester      + 1
 [/font][font=Courier New] 7th [color=red]-3[/color] dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Genoa/ENG u20  + 2
 [/font][font=Courier New] 8th NE m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Leeds/ENG u19  + 5
 [/font][font=Courier New] 9th NE super_lampard   Super Lampard     Lecce         Newcastle      + 7
 [/font][font=Courier New]10th NE TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Nottm Forest   +11[/font]

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Update 197

Years: 16, Months: 197, Days: 5990

Our managers are on the brink of another milestone, that of 6000 days at the one club, but before they can move forward, we must examine their performances in November 2024, starting in jolly old England.

It was an improved month for Tom Smith’s Arsenal, but it wasn’t without imperfections, and plenty more of these months will be necessary before the Gunners can be considered to be in a desirable position. They currently sit 11th: Smith guided his team to victory over Ipswich, Sheffield United and Ben Cee’s Man City this month, but they drew 2-2 at Pride Park and also came out of the North London derby at White Hart Lane poorly. With just over ten minutes remaining on the clock, Francesc Fabrègas got Arsenal an equalising goal, nullifying the Spurs opener scored 17 minutes in. However, a minute later, Tottenham had regained the lead, and further goals in the 90th and 90+2nd minutes turned the result into a painful 1-4 defeat. Tottenham themselves are in contention for the Champions League places, while Liverpool and Chelsea run away at the top of the league.

It’s been another good month for Lucas Volman, and Real Madrid have a rather impressive seven-point lead at the top of La Liga, after twelve games. In fact, second-placed Valencia have played an extra match. In November, Real got one-goal away victories over Racing and, importantly, rivals Atlético, a 3-2 home win over Sevilla, and a commanding 8-1 home win over Athletic. They also secured passage to the Copa del Rey Fifth Round after beating Talavera 3-0 in their Fourth Round second leg. 6-0 was the overall score. Meanwhile, Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona are struggling, languishing in sixth place after draws with Zaragoza, Hércules and Valencia this month, a loss to Atlético and a sole victory over Málaga. They did, however, knock the stuffing out of Pájara Playas in their cup tie, winning 7-0 at home and advancing 12-0 on aggregate. Lars Tommersen’s Betis await them in the next round, while Real Madrid play Valencia, and, in a clash of the titans, Zaragoza play Atlético Madrid.

Another two games were played in Europe this month, but before we go to those, a different international fixture: Tim Aubel’s United States travelled to Costa Rica for the final game of their World Cup qualifying Second Phase. There, with two Jozy Altidore goals, they won 2-1, and so topped their group. They start the Third Phase at home to Trinidad & Tobago. Anyway, back to Europe, and the Champions League. Two of our teams are through to the next round, two aren’t. This month, Lord Weeman’s Napoli held Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea to a laudable goalless draw at San Paolo, before beating hapless visitors Bayer Leverkusen 6-0, with a hattrick from club favourite Vittorio Mattioli. Napoli are safely into the next round. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona drew two away games 1-1, at Werder Bremen and at Benfica. They are second, but, being the only team in the group with a positive goal difference and hosting FC Zürich next, they are likely to secure qualification with their next game.

Tom Smith ’s Arsenal breezed through the month in the Champions League. Firstly, they beat visitors Feyenoord 3-0, and then they travelled to Porto, and won what would be considered their most difficult match, 2-0. Naturally, they have secured progression, as have their Portuguese groupmates. And finally, Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid have yet to get themselves into that next round. This month, they drew 2-2 at home to Super Lampard’s Newcastle, before a surprising 3-0 win over A.C. Milan, who have already qualified. The Magpies travel to Giuseppe Meazza in their next game, while Real play at Zenit Saint Petersburg, and Volman’s side have a three-point advantage, so are likely to finish second in their group. Juventus, Lyon, Liverpool, Atlético Madrid, Inter and Bayern Munich have all qualified after five games.

In Italy, I’m afraid to say, the wheels have fallen off Napoli’s title wagon. A slump in form has seen Lord Weeman’s side drop to third, two points behind both Inter and A.C. Milan. In November, despite victory over dafuge’s Genoa at the start of the month, they picked up just four points, also drawing goalless at home to Frosinone. They lost an away game at A.C. Milan, and, in meeting Tyler Burrows’s Udinese at Friuli, lost 1-4. Udinese are fourth, and just two points behind the Neapolitans, after beating Catania and Fiorentina this month, as well as Napoli themselves, and drawing goalless away to Mikael Schøler’s Juventus, who are fifth. I also noticed that Schøler, who is coming up to the ten year milestone at Delle Alpi, has a son in Juventus’ reserve squad, a 21-year-old central midfielder called Jakob. Jakob made three senior appearances last year, averaging a rating of 6.83.

All that remains is for me to wish the managers a merry Christmas, and let them get on with the last ten days of their first 6000-day tenure in peace.

Manager of the Update

For the second month running;

Lucas Volman, Real Madrid

scoops this award. Volman won all but one game this month, a draw, guiding his team to twelve points from twelve in the league, and Copa del Rey progression. Tyler Burrows also had a good month, dropping just two points from twelve in Serie A, and that with a draw away to Juventus. Still, some spectacular results came Volman’s way this month, and this is (part of) his reward.

Job Securities

[font=Courier New]  [b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New] 1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5990
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   5990
 [/font][font=Courier New] 3rd tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        5990
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5990
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5990
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800[/font]

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Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

[font=Courier New]  [b]Update Winner, Club                [/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
 [/font][font=Courier New]       Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid[/font]

All Star Top Ten – Oldest Managers

[font=Courier New]  [b] Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Age[/b]
  [/font][font=Courier New]1st  [color=blue]0[/color] Swafe           Saul Goode        Osasuna       Wales         65
 [/font][font=Courier New] 2nd [color=red]-1[/color] Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid   64 *
 [/font][font=Courier New] 3rd [color=green]+1[/color] NepentheZ       Neppo Monster     Cagliari      Fiorentina    63
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - [color=green]+1[/color] Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona     63 *
 [/font][font=Courier New] 5th [color=green]+2[/color] SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Roma          62
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - [color=green]+2[/color] ScottT!         Scott Tysoe       Sunderland    Rangers       62
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - [color=green]+2[/color] BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter         Man City      62
 [/font][font=Courier New] 8th [color=green]+2[/color] Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis         60
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - NE TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Nottm Forest  60
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - [color=green]+2[/color] PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese       60 *[/font]

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A fantastic month from Udinese. More of the same would be great!! :)

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Update 198

Years: 16, Months: 198, Days: 6021

6000 days is a long time. 6000 days ago in real life (from 29/12/2010), John Major was the UK Prime Minister, Bill Clinton was the US President, and “Love Is All Around” by Wet Wet Wet topped the UK Singles Chart, just about to reach two consecutive months at the top. Brazil had just won its fourth World Cup. 6021 days before the current date in the 60 to One savegame, sixty budding managerial talents were embarking upon their first jobs, taking the mantle of some of Europe’s top clubs. Now, just five of them survive in those jobs, and that’s a real credit: only two Prime Ministers have lasted longer than that, no Presidents have, and, of course, no single has enjoyed sixteen solid years at the top of the charts.

Without further ado, let us see how these managerial cherubim did in December 2024, starting in Italy.

It’s a return to the top of the pile for Napoli manager Lord Weeman. His side didn’t have a perfect month, with a home loss to Juventus accompanying victories over Catania, Fiorentina and Modena, but he still moves up to first place, after reclaiming a game in hand over both Inter and A.C. Milan, and with both those sides losing a game. Napoli sailed through their Coppa Italia First Round match against Livorno, winning 6-0. They drew 2-2 at Shakhtar in the Champions League, and so finish second in their group. Meanwhile, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese were on the other end of that humiliation, away to Cool Manager’s Inter, where they lost 1-6. However, bizarrely, Udinese had won at Inter earlier in the month, 1-0 in the cup, and so they advance to the Quarter Finals with a massive scalp under their belt. Udinese put in a respectable performance in each of their other three league games, winning 3-1 at Roma in a game that saw Leo Dodge sacked, beating Fréderico Canvey’s Sampdoria 4-0 and drawing with Palermo.

Regarding the Roma sacking, Dodge’s four-year tenure was cut short with his side 13th in Serie A. At the age of 63, Dodge is unlikely to stay in football much longer, and may simply retire rather than looking for another job. Besiktas manager Phill Ewles was drafted in as Dodge’s replacement, setting off a wicked chain reaction. Nottingham Forest boss Ben Taylor ended his spell at the club to manage in Turkey, after just 184 days, and Forest appointed Norwich’s Russell Slade. Norwich cherry-picked Plymouth’s Danny Mills, who started his career for the Canaries, and so the Pilgrims gave Sunderland player Andrew Driver his big break, and a chance to hang up his boots. Dodge’s dismissal wasn’t the only firing of one of our own in Italy this month: Fiorentina boss Neppo Monster, who had been enjoying his best tenure at a club yet, was sacked, just a month or two short of the 1000-days-in-charge mark. Marco Giampaolo, who had just been sacked from Catania, took over the reins.

“Has there been any movement, doctor?”

“No, Mrs Smith. Arsenal are still 11th in the Premier League.” And that’s not where Tom Smith wants to be (Incidentally, does anyone remember Mrs Smith’s name? If you look back to update 185, you will find that it is Margerita). In December, the Gunners twice had to cope with the bitter, bitter stench of defeat, losing as they did to both Chelsea and Newcastle, the latter a 0-4 drubbing at St James’ Park. They did beat Leeds and Aston Villa, but were held 1-1 away by an Everton team currently rife with problems. The Toffees are 18th, on their fourth manager of the year (2024, including caretakers), and with a not insignificant debt. It clarifies to some extent why Fréderico Canvey jumped ship. Anyway, enough about Everton; Arsenal did seal their Champions League group top spot in style with a 5-0 demolition of FC Nantes at the Emirates. Craig Robson netted twice, which brings me to;

The Craig Robson-o-meter

Goals this Month: 4

Total Goals: 61

Cost per Goal: £786,885.25

Arsenal have been handed a potential banana-skin of an FA Cup Third Round tie, away to Championship leaders Blackburn. Rovers are top of England’s second division by an almost imponderable thirteen points, and they could be unlucky for Smith’s side. There’s no prizes for identifying Chelsea versus Manchester United at Chelsea Stadium as the most delectable tie of the round. In other England news, Anglo-Greco-Basque manager Theo Stigarakis has been handed the sixth sacking of his career after he was forced to vacate his post at Leicester City, after a dull goalless draw at home to relegation fodder Southampton. This left the Foxes 16th in the league, and, while it was only four places below their predicted position, it was too close to relegation for David Morris and his board. Sheffield Wednesday manager Tony Mowbary replaced Stigarakis, with Paul Jewell taking the Hillsborough hotseat just 11 days after his sacking from the Hawthorns.

Lucas Volman ’s Real Madrid suffered their first defeat of the campaign this month, but they still hold a six-point lead over Lars Tommersen’s second-placed Betis at the top of La Liga. Although their match at title holders Zaragoza ended in defeat, Real beat Hércules, Málaga and Villarreal this month. They drew 2-2 at Zenit Saint Petersburg in the Champions League, which was sufficient for progress to the next round. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona played three games and went unbeaten, achieving victory against Alavés and against Las Palmas, but drawing at Villarreal. They topped their Champions League group by giving FC Zürich a 7-0 thrashing at the Nou Camp this month: the Swiss side finish nine points behind third-placed Werder Bremen, having picked up their only point in their home match against Madridstas’s men.

Of course, the natural evolution is the question of the Last 16 draw. It feels to me like two of our sides have got a virtual bye to the Last Eight, while the other two have colossal tasks ahead of them. Napoli face Lyon, while Barcelona meet Celtic. However, Tom Smith’s Arsenal play holders Bayern Munich, and Real Madrid play last year’s runners-up Chelsea. Other ties see two league holders against each other as Inter play Liverpool, while Spain’s champions Zaragoza play A.C. Milan. Benfica face Atlético Madrid in an Iberian encounter, while Mikael Schøler’s Juventus play Porto. European action resumes in February, where, in addition to the Champions League, the Europa League sees Man United, Man City, Newcastle, Rangers and Betis in action.

This update’s already pretty long, but I felt like giving you a stats-burst. If you want, you can say it’s in honour of breaching the 6000-day barrier. I took a look at the linguistic capabilities of our managers, and this is what I found out;

Managers speaking one language

English: Robert Boyle, Brettney Joven, Liam Ferguson, Scott Tysoe, Martin Bojangles

Spanish: Haowan Madridstas

Managers speaking two languages

English and Italian: Leo Dodge, Ben Taylor, Super Lampard, Bryan McGuinness, James Ridley, Neppo Monster, Lord Weeman

English and Spanish: Lawrence Lazewski, Maz Armley, Tim Aubel, Saul Goode

Italian and Spanish: Lucas Volman, Tyler Burrows

English and Portuguese: Tom Smith

Managers speaking three languages

English, Italian and Spanish: Cool Manager, Theo Stigarakis, Fréderico Canvey, Ben Cee, James Salter, Neilio

Danish, Italian and Spanish: Mikael Schøler

English, Italian and Turkish: dafuge

Managers speaking four languages

Danish, English, Italian and Spanish: Lars Tommersen

English, Greek, Spanish and Turkish: Phill Ewles

Therefore, languages by speakers:

English: 24

Italian: 18

Spanish: 16

Danish, Turkish: 2 each

Portuguese, Greek: 1 each

Haowan Madridstas is the manager who would have the most difficulty communicating, as he has a language barrier with 14 of the other 29 managers. Phill Ewles, Lars Tommersen, and any of those speaking just English, Italian and Spanish or just English and Spanish, will be understood by any of our managers. Phill Ewles wins my linguistic award, as not only does he speak four languages already, he moved to Roma this month to make a start on his fifth.

The transfer window opens next month, and with it comes a chance to save Tom Smith’s season. Until then, I hope that all our managers enjoy their Christmas presents. I hear Tyler Burrows got a pogo stick, after his last one was spoiled when his bacon man disintegrated on it.

Manager of the Update

Relucantly, this month’s winner is;

Haowan Madridtas, Barcelona

because I couldn’t find a better performance among our five managers. Barcelona played just four games and didn’t even win them all, but that was still the best performance of the month, especially considering their 7-0 win over FC Zürich.

Job Securities

[font=Courier New]  [b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New] 1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   6021
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6021
 [/font][font=Courier New] 3rd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6021
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        6021
 [/font][font=Courier New] 5th tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        6021
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800[/font]

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Three languages. :thup:

Si! Ciao bella!

(That's all the Spanish and Italian I know IRL. :D)

I'm surprised nobody can speak French. Zout alors!

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I do not speak English :(

I guess you speak no Americano. :D

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Don't make me think of that song again.... :D

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6-1 win over Udinese :thup: But losing in the Cup :(

3 languages :cool:

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Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

[font=Courier New]  [b]Update Winner, Club                [/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
 [/font][font=Courier New]       Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona[/font]

All Star Top Ten – Youngest Managers

  [font=Courier New][b]Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club  Age[/b]
  [/font][font=Courier New]1st [color=blue] 0[/color] canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Sampdoria      51
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - [color=blue] 0[/color] fergysafc       Liam Ferguson     Man City                     51
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - [color=blue] 0[/color] MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus       51
 [/font][font=Courier New] 4th [color=blue] 0[/color] Ridleys         James Ridley      Siena         Lazio          53
 [/font][font=Courier New] 5th [color=blue] 0[/color] Neilio          Neilio            Almería       Italy          54
    [/font][font=Courier New]- [color=blue] 0[/color] Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Roma           54
 [/font][font=Courier New] 7th [color=blue] 0[/color] Robert_296      Robert Boyle      Blackburn     Pompey/ENG u21 55
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - [color=blue] 0[/color] el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter          55
 [/font][font=Courier New] 9th [color=blue] 0[/color] dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Genoa/ENG u20  56
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - [color=blue] 0[/color] spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia                     56
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - [color=blue] 0[/color] Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Man United     56[/font]

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Update 199

Years: 16, Months: 199, Days: 6052

The end of the season is creeping ever closer, and, with it, Haowan Madridstas’s retirement. It has been three seasons since one of our five managers won their respective league title, but is all that about to change?

The situation in Spain would suggest that yes, it is. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid have built up an impressive nine-point lead at the top of La Liga, and, with the season creeping over its halfway point, they look like prime candidates for the title. This month, they dropped their sixth and seventh points of the campaign, but a 2-2 draw at Valencia is far from embarrassing. Real got wins over Alavés, Las Palmas, and, most importantly, over Barcelona. They suffered the excrutiating tension of two penalty shootouts in the Copa del Rey this month. Naturally, the first one they won (else they wouldn’t have had the second), after a 2-0 win at home to Valencia and the reversal away. The second, against Sevilla, however, they lost, after winning 2-1 away but losing by that scoreline at home. Sevilla will meet Atlético Madrid in the Semi-Final. Volman made one incoming transfer this month, signing Roma’s Romanian midfielder Vlad Pop for £8.5M. Andorra midfielder Miguel Oliver made way, signing for Recreativo for £4.7M, while young goalkeeper Daniel Carril joined Lorca for £22k.

Haowan Madridstas ’s Barcelona fell one place to seventh this month, and it doesn’t look like the Spanish manager will be leaving on a high. As well as the loss to Real Madrid, Madridstas’s side fell to defeat at Elche, were held at home by Betis, and mustered just one victory all month, away to 16th-placed Mallorca. Lars Tommersen’s Betis side seemed to be the bane of Barça’s existence this month, knocking the Catalonian side out of the Copa del Rey with their 3-1 home victory leading them through 4-3 on aggregate. After beating Racing, Betis find themselves against Getafe in the Semi-Final, and have a tangible opportunity to win Tommersen the first silverware of his career. Barcelona made a strangely low transfer spend, considering their predicament. 23-year-old Cameroonian goalkeeper William Nguimbat joined from Sevilla for £1.2M, but that was the only transfer made by Madridstas this month.

In Italy, also, there are signs that the title might be going to one of our five managers. There is a surprise team at the top of Serie A, and that team is Tyler Burrows’s Udinese. I told you it was a surprise team. The Andorran manager guided his team to a perfect start to 2025, beating Parma, Vicenza, Mantova and Livorno. Unfortunately, this was marred by a 0-1 extra time loss at home to the Mantovani side in the Coppa Italia. Burrows raised some funds this month, with the sales of cultured midfielders Roberto Benassi and Michele Mason to Palermo for £3.1M and to Man City for £12.75M respectively. No money left Burrows’s purse, unusually.

Lord Weeman ’s Napoli are second, which, although it isn’t first, isn’t undesirable. They are joint with Udinese on 45 points, but did of course lose at Friuli earlier in the season. In January, they beat Roma and Sampdoria and drew with Inter and Palermo. Their Coppa Italia tie went quite a bit better than Udinese’s, being a 4-2 win in Sicily against Palermo, with two goals from Portuguese winger Hélder Trindade. Mikael Schøler’s Juventus await Napoli in the Semi-Final. Weeman signed Inter’s Brazilian leftback Silva for £8.25M this month, while selling Davide Santon to Sunderland for £875k. Elsewhere in Italy, with his side 14th and thus underperforming by six places, dafuge had his contract terminated by Genoa. His 203-day tenure isn’t a record in ephemerality for him, but it just underlines his inability to stay in a job for very long. Excluding his 1847-day tenure at Besiktas, where it was virtually impossible to be fired, he has lasted an average of 342 days at each club. He still has his role at England under 20s, so he shouldn’t get too bored.

England, by the way, is where we shall head next. There has been a marginal improvement in Arsenal’s position this month, up one place to 10th, although just five points separate the Gunners from fourth place. In January, Tom Smith’s side beat Southampton and Sheffield Wednesday at home, and drew away to both Sunderland and Manchester United. A cupset was avoided against Blackburn in the FA Cup Third Round, as the Gunners ran out 3-1 victors at Ewood Park, and the London club proceeded to beat visitors Hull 5-0 in Round Four. They travel to St James’ Park for the Fifth Round, the location of their 0-4 hammering in December. Smith made one signing this month, but it was a big one: ambitious defender Chris Miller arrived from Maz Armley’s Leeds for £19.75M. Mentally and physically, Miller is strong, but he lacks some technical ability. That being said, he has strengths in some key technical defensive areas, such as a ‘Marking’ attribute of 19. 23-year-old right winger David Doyle left for Q.P.R. for £210k.

Ben Cee has been busy this month, readjusting his Man City squad in huge swathes. Seven players, including Julio Samaniego, Bobby Hall and Roman Cerny, left the club for a combined total of £78.7M, and a further £220k was raised with an outgoing loan. Cee made three big signings too; as well as Udinese’s Michele Mason, talented 25-year-old Middlesbrough winger Joe Ward arrived, as did Everton’s towering Spanish striker Diego Carrasco. The three signings cost a combined £42.25M, and bring Cee’s spend for the season to £118M. He leads the list of our managers’ career expenditure by over £100,000,000. With City, expected title challengers, sixth in the league and twenty points adrift of leaders Chelsea, Cee finds himself Very Insecure.

There is less than half a year to go until we go down to four managers, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t happen sooner. What awaits for our managers? The only way to find out is to keep reading!

Manager of the Update

There were two unbeaten managers this month, but neither of them will get this award. Instead;

Tyler Burrows, Udinese

takes it home. He has taken his side to the top of Serie A with four wins from four in the league this month. The Coppa Italia was a blip, although Burrows can use the Mantova winner two minutes from the end of extra time as an excuse. Lord Weeman didn’t do too badly, but fell away from pole position, while Tom Smith’s month might have been welcome at any other time, but now represents four points lost instead of eight points gained.

Job Securities

[font=Courier New]  [b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New] 1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   6052
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6052
 [/font][font=Courier New] 3rd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6052
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        6052
 [/font][font=Courier New] 5th tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        6052
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800[/font]

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Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

[font=Courier New]  [b]Update Winner, Club                [/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
 [/font][font=Courier New]       Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese[/font]

All Star Top Ten – Highest Fee Spent

[font=Courier New]  [b] Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club  Player                Fee[/b]
  [/font][font=Courier New]1st [color=green]+6[/color] Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid   Keith Smith#       £52  M *
 [/font][font=Courier New] 2nd [color=red]-1[/color] tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal       Craig Robson#      £48  M *
 [/font][font=Courier New] 3rd  [color=blue]0[/color] el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter         Carmine Bernini#   £40  M
 [/font][font=Courier New] 4th [color=red]-2[/color] Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona     John Heitinga      £37.5M *
 [/font][font=Courier New] 5th [color=red]-1[/color] BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter         Man City      Cristiano Ronaldo  £30.5M
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th [color=red]-1[/color] ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea       Carlos Vela        £27  M
 [/font][font=Courier New] 7th [color=red]-1[/color] fergysafc       Liam Ferguson     Man City                    Michael Essien     £26.5M
 [/font][font=Courier New] 8th NE Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Roma          Marco Bertacchini# £22.5M
 [/font][font=Courier New]   -  [color=blue]0[/color] weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli        Lauri Dalla Valle  £22.5M *
 [/font][font=Courier New]10th [color=red]-1[/color] SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham                   Mario Gómez        £21.5M[/font]

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Back to what I'm doing best: wheeling and dealing. :D

Can't believe I bought C.Ronaldo though. :p

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Been performing quite well lately. A nine point lead and 4 manager of the month this season. :cool:

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Update 200

Years: 16, Months: 200, Days: 6080

Our managers have done it: they’ve reached that two hundred month milestone at just one club. It’s time to open a bottle of bubbly, I’d say!

Udinese and Napoli continue to top Serie A, and they seemed to be joined at the hip. Both teams picked up ten points this month, with Tyler Burrows’s leaders beating Rimini, Atalanta and Lazio, and drawing with A.C. Milan, and Lord Weeman’s Napoli beating Parma, Vicenza and Rimini, and drawing with Mantova. They both have 55 points, with third-placed A.C. Milan a win away on 52.

Compared to earlier months, February has been one of the worst of Real Madrid’s league campaign. Lucas Volman’s side, however, still top La Liga by eight points. They beat Mallorca and Recreativo, but were held to draws at Betis and at home to Elche. I wouldn’t worry too much if I were Volman, though. Meanwhile, Haowan Madridstas's Barcelona didn’t have a terrible month, but they still sit adrift in sixth place. They beat Deportivo, Athletic and James Salter’s Murcia, but lost at Recreativo thanks to a 90+4th minute winner.

Of course, European football resumed this month, with the first leg of the Champions League Last 16 ties. Tom Smith’s Arsenal are in trouble, after a 1-4 defeat in Bavaria against Bayern Munich. Real Madrid’s 2-1 home victory over Chelsea also might see them eliminated. For Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona, the picture looks brighter: they drew away to Celtic, and are optimistic of victory in the home leg. Lord Weeman’s Napoli fought off the challenge of visitors Lyon to win 2-1. In the Europa League, Scott Tysoe’s Rangers lost 1-4 on aggregate to Mantova, but all of our other managers progressed to the Last 16. Panathanaikos versus Olympiakos is the highlight of the round.

Hey, while we’re using that champagne to toast two hundred months of service, let’s celebrate a brilliant month at Tom Smith’s Arsenal. They shot up from 11th to 5th this month after winning all four games, including a sneaky victory at Anfield, the home of Premier League defending champions Liverpool. The Gunners also won a close battle at St James’ Park, advancing to the FA Cup Sixth Round 1-0. There, they’ll travel to Elland Road, where Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea lost their Fifth Round tie to Maz Armley’s Leeds. Liverpool meet Everton, while League 1 Crewe might see their cup run come to an end at the hand of Tottenham. Chelsea have a ten-point lead over Super Lampard’s Newcastle at the top of the Premier League, while Southampton and Sheffield United look to be getting cut off at the bottom. Aidy Boothroyd’s Blackburn command a massive seventeen-point lead at the top of the Championship, and have yet to lose a league match.

There was an international break this month. In Europe, teams played friendlies, although there was competitive action in North America. Brettney Joven’s England beat Nigeria 2-0 at Wembley, and the rest of the Dream Team also played Nigeria: Maz Armley’s under 19s won 3-0, Robert Boyle’s under 21s 4-0, and dafuge’s under 20s 6-0. 20-year-old Birmingham striker Peter Oakes bagged four goals in the latter match. Neilio’s Italy travelled to Turkey, and it took a goal from Udinese’s Francesco Banti three minutes from time to salvage a 1-1 draw. Saul Goode’s Wales also drew 1-1, at home to Germany, while Tim Aubel’s United States played Trinidad & Tobago in World Cup qualifying, and won 2-1 in North Carolina.

Once again, managers, congratulations on your impressive achievements of longevity. Here’s to another 100 months!

Manager of the Update

There were a few contenders this month.

Lord Weeman, Napoli

gets it for grabbing ten points from twelve in the league and for winning his Champions League match. He matched Tyler Burrows’s Serie A points haul, but had the advantage of European football. Tom Smith’s Arsenal had a very good league month, and did well in the FA Cup, but fell to a 1-4 defeat in the Champions League.

Job Securities

[font=Courier New]  [b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New] 1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   6080
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6080
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Very Secure   6080
 [/font][font=Courier New] 4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6080
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Secure        6080
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800[/font]

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Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

[font=Courier New]  [b]Update Winner, Club                [/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
 [/font][font=Courier New]       Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli[/font]

All Star Top Ten – Highest Fee Received

[font=Courier New]  [b] Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club   Player             Fee[/b]
  [/font][font=Courier New]1st NE Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Man United     Keith Smith#    £52  M
 [/font][font=Courier New] 2nd [color=red]-1[/color] brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         England        Chris Heslop#   £32.5M
 [/font][font=Courier New] 3rd [color=red]-1[/color] Robert_296      Robert Boyle      Blackburn     Pompey/ENG u21 Redouane Bacha# £30  M
 [/font][font=Courier New] 4th [color=red]-1[/color] Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis          Giuseppe Rossi  £29.5M
 [/font][font=Courier New] 5th [color=green]+5[/color] SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham                    Davide Fabbri#  £29  M
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th [color=red]-2[/color] BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter         Man City       Freddy Adu      £27  M
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - [color=red]-2[/color] PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese        Carlos Vela     £27  M *
 [/font][font=Courier New] 8th [color=red]-2[/color] spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia                     Michael Essien  £26.5M
 [/font][font=Courier New] 9th [color=red]-2[/color] ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea        Mikel Arteta    £25.5M
 [/font][font=Courier New]10th [color=red]-2[/color] m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Leeds/END u19  Adriano         £23  M[/font]

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Surely this couldn't be the season when Udinese finally win a trophy????

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Update 201

Years: 16, Months: 201, Days: 6111

It’s April 1st, but don’t worry; I wont be playing any pratical jokes on you. Instead, we’re going to jump right into the March report, with the knowledge that just a handful of games remain in the current season.

In England, just seven, and if Tom Smith’s Arsenal want to qualify for the Champions League, they’ll need to get an average of two points more per game than fourth-placed Newcastle. The Magpies, if they win both their games in hand, will lead Arsenal by 14 points. The Gunners are 7th after a poor month, which started with a humiliating 0-7 defeat at Robert Boyle’s Portsmouth. Arsenal then drew with Derby and Ipswich before winning narrowly over Sheffield United. They left the FA Cup after losing 1-2 at home to Leeds in their Sixth Round replay. Leeds meet Tottenham, while Portsmouth meet Liverpool in the Semi-Finals. In fact, Boyle’s Pompey are doing very well, sitting fifth, ten places above expectations, after picking up ten points from twelve this month. His former club Blackburn are also doing well, having just secured the Championship title, with six games to play.

Ben Cee ’s Manchester City met Martin Bojangles’s Manchester United in the Carling Cup Final this month. After neither team could score, the Red Devils won the match from the penalty spot. This saw Cee sacked after a mere 353 days at Eastlands. Former Italy boss Roberto Mancini was appointed as Cee’s successor. Meanwhile, after their manager Kevin Ball was pinched by Aston Villa, Sunderland hired Neppo Monster, and Valencia sacked their manager to be replaced by Raúl, who vacated his role at Fulham. Scott Tysoe took the Craven Cottage post, leaving Theo Stigarakis to take control of Rangers, his ninth club.

In Spain, Real Madrid’s eight-point lead at the top of La Liga remains intact, but they could have extended it with some better results. Unusually, they won both away games, against Deportivo and James Salter’s Murcia, but drew both home ones, against Getafe and Racing. Getafe, however, will be featuring in the Copa del Rey Final against Atlético Madrid, after they knocked out Lars Tommersen’s Betis in the Semi-Final. Meanwhile, Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona are twelve points adrift of the Champions League spots, and are plodding along in sixth place. This month, they beat Racing and Sevilla but lost to Getafe. Next month looks to be difficult, as Barça face trips to Zaragoza, Valencia and Atlético Madrid.

Champions League Last 16 second legs took place this month, and we managed to get three managers into the Quarter Finals. Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea beat visitors Real Madrid 3-0, and so knocked out Lucas Volman’s side 4-2 on aggregate. Barcelona, with four goals from Japanese forward Naoya Sato, went two better, beating Celtic 5-0 for a 6-1 aggregate win. Sato was has been in scintillating form recently, which brings me to;

The Naoya Sato-o-meter

Goals this Month: 6

Total Goals: 122

Cost per Goal: £161,885.25

Lord Weeman’s Napoli drew 1-1 in Lyon and go through 3-2 overall, while Tom Smith’s Arsenal thumped Bayern Munich 3-0 at the Emirates, and so advance on away goals. A.C. Milan lost to Zaragoza while their rivals Inter fell to Liverpool. Both Portuguese sides lost, Benfica to Atlético Madrid and Porto to Juventus. In the Quarter Finals, Barcelona meet Napoli while Arsenal face Mikael Schøler’s Juventus. Two fiery intranational matches see Liverpool play Chelsea, and Zaragoza play Atlético. In the Europa League, Man United and Fulham lost, leaving Lars Tommersen’s Betis facing Man City and Super Lampard’s Newcastle facing Panathanaikos.

Incredibly, not only do Tyler Burrows’s Udinese still lead Serie A, but they have moved a point ahead of title challengers Napoli. And that was with four away games this month: Udinese drew at Genoa but beat Frosinone, Modena and Fiorentina. Lord Weeman’s Napoli beat Livorno, Atalanta and James Ridley’s Lazio, but lost at Genoa. They did, however, get a good start in their Coppa Italia Semi-Final, drawing goalless at Juventus. Mikael Schøler’s side are third in the league, followed by Inter and then A.C. Milan.

March saw yet another international break. Brettney Joven’s England gave their World Cup qualifying chances a boost with a 3-0 win over Lithuania at Wembley, while two of the other members of the dream team also played the Baltic state: Robert Boyle’s under 21s beat them 2-0, and Maz Armley’s under 19s beat them 5-0 before a 1-1 draw with Portugal. The other squads play Portugal next month. Neilio’s Italy took top spot in their group with a 4-0 victory in Sarajevo, while Saul Goode’s Wales lost 0-1 in Cyprus, thanks to a penalty three minutes from time. The Welsh, however, are second in their group. A Jozy Altidore hattrick gave Tim Aubel’s United States a 3-0 win over visitors Cuba in their World Cup qualifying match, and the Americans lead the group alongside Mexico, with six points from six.

We’ll end this report with a little feature I like to call ‘Nostalgia’. For this, we will look two hundred updates ago to Update 1. Here, I’ll select a couple of paragraphs about our five remaining managers. See if you can spot any faces from the past (you will be able to).

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 1

It is difficult at this stage for any chairman to be able to judge their manager’s performance, although the job is made easier for those who have played competitive football. While every manager’s job is still Stable, the Chairman of Lord Weeman’s Napoli should be happy with a 8-1 aggregate win over Tavria Simferopol of Ukraine, the highlight being the 5-1 win away at Lokomotyv. This without any spend on the books must be the icing on the cake for the ‘Young and Talented Manager’.

~~ ~~

Super Lampard ’s Lecce made a significant loss, spending £2.2M on Ali Karimi as part of two transfers, and bringing in £180k resulting in a loss of £2.32M. Cardiovascular at Genoa spun a small profit of £16,000 with the sale of Mirko Lamantia, while also drawing 1-1 with Barcelona B, the A-Team managed by Haowan Madridstas with their 4-0 win over Deportivo B being the only highlight of July. Jonte Rhodes’s Lazio won one game 3-0 but lost the next 2-3, while Roma, managed by Clark Aitken, won 3-0 over Rio Ave, Portugal, in their only action of the 24 days. Rounding off the report, Tom Smith’s Arsenal played three pre-season games including a 4-0 win over Boreham Wood, while Andy Morton’s Real Sporting beat San Martín 7-0.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update

I don’t think there’s any doubt that;

Tyler Burrows, Udinese

deserves this award. He keeps his team as unlikely table-toppers, with ten points amassed from four away games this month. That’s a terrific achievement, so congratulations go to Burrows.

Job Securities

[font=Courier New]  [b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New] 1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   6111
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6111
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Very Secure   6111
 [/font][font=Courier New] 4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6111
 [/font][font=Courier New] 5th tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        6111
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800[/font]

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Fantastic month or the thunder from down under. I mean Andorra.

This really could be the season.... :D

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Rubbish season for Inter, hopefully we qualify for the CL :(

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Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

[font=Courier New]  [b]Update Winner, Club                [/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
 [/font][font=Courier New]       Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese[/font]

All Star Top Ten – Longest Time at Current Club/Nation

[font=Courier New]  [b] Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Days[/b]
  [/font][font=Courier New]1st  [color=blue]0 [/color]Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  6111 *
 [/font][font=Courier New]   -  [color=blue]0 [/color]weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       6111 *
 [/font][font=Courier New]   -  [color=blue]0 [/color]PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      6111 *
 [/font][font=Courier New]   -  [color=blue]0 [/color]tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      6111 *
 [/font][font=Courier New]   -  [color=blue]0 [/color]Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    6111 *
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th  [color=blue]0 [/color]Swafe           Saul Goode        Osasuna       Wales        4313
 [/font][font=Courier New] 7th  [color=blue]0 [/color]el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        3606
 [/font][font=Courier New] 8th  [color=blue]0 [/color]MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     3558
 [/font][font=Courier New] 9th NE ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      1725
 [/font][font=Courier New]10th NE Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis        1711[/font]

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Update 202

Years: 16, Months: 202, Days: 6141

The end of the season is just around the corner, so let’s see how our managers did in April.

Amazingly, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese continue to lead Serie A, and they need only to hold out for four games to win it. Unfortunately, Mikael Schøler’s Juventus are just one point behind in second place, and have a game in hand. This month, Udinese lost to the Old Lady at home, in a match that might prove crucial as the season comes down to the wire. However, Burrows’s side got victories over Catania, Inter and Roma. They also travelled to Lord Weeman’s Napoli for a Serie A match. Weeman’s side struggled this month, losing to both Frosinone and Juventus, and drawing with Catania. They did, however, reach the Coppa Italia Final with a 1-0 win over Schøler’s side. They’ll meet Phill Ewles’s Roma. But in the match between Napoli and Udinese, who prevailed? No one. Mattia Silvestri put Napoli ahead after a minute, but Udinese levelled with a penalty a minute from the break. Two points from twelve this month saw Napoli slump to fourth, and A.C. Milan are ever so keen to overtake them.

Real Madrid’s position at the top of their table looks a lot more secure. Lucas Volman’s side have a ten-point lead, with only eighteen points available to second-placed Atlético. Real started the month with a draw at Sevilla, but then went on to beat Athletic, Atlético, Hércules, Zaragoza and Málaga, the latter a 6-2 away victory. Meanwhile, it has been twenty-two games since Barcelona moved more than one place away from 6th. That is where they currently sit, despite a number of dropped points this month, that number being eight. All in all, however, they coped pretty well with their fixture list in April, beating Málaga, Villarreal and Alavés, drawing with Valencia and losing to both Zaragoza and Atlético Madrid. Haowan Madridstas has just 84 days before his retirement, and he is probably already securing the purchase of his Caribbean island.

International sides mostly played friendly matches this month, including three England Dream Team matches against Portugal. Brettney Joven’s senior squad won 2-1, Robert Boyle’s under 21s won 5-0, as did dafuge’s under 20s. Saul Goode’s Wales flew to Argentina, where they lost 0-1 to Gabriel Milito’s side, and Neilio’s Italy beat the visiting Tunisia 4-0. Tim Aubel’s United States won 1-0 in Costa Rica, and remain, along with Mexico, at the top end of their World Cup qualifying group.

Tom Smith ’s Arsenal are running out of time to get into the Champions League spots. However, given that the Gunners haven’t been in the top four since the first game of the season, they aren’t likely to do so. This month, they beat Tottenham and Everton at home, but lost to Man City and Chelsea away. They sit 6th, and with games against Newcastle, Leeds and Aston Villa in the next month, teams which sit 3rd, 8th and 12th respectively, they aren’t likely to pick up 100% of the available points. Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea have secured the Premier League title, with a 2-1 at Craven Cottage. It is McGuinness’s 10th title at the club. Sheffield United and Southampton were relegated this month, and Everton, Leicester, Derby or Fulham will join them.

The Champions League is reaching its closing stages, and just four teams remain in it, from the 76 that started off. But how many of those four are managed by our managers? In the Quarter Finals, Tom Smith’s Arsenal were eliminated by Mikael Schøler’s Juventus, after losing 0-1 both at home and away. The Gunners weren’t the only side to suffer a bit of an upset at home: Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona found themselves on the wrong end of a 0-4 defeat to Napoli at the Nou Camp. Lord Weeman’s side eased to victory with braces from both Hélder Trindade and Choco. Strangely, Napoli then lost at home, but Barça’s 2-0 win wasn’t enough to recoup the deficit, so Napoli progressed. In the other matches, Zaragoza beat Atlético Madrid 3-3 on aggregate, and Chelsea squeezed past Liverpool 3-2. In the Semi-Finals, Napoli managed to hold Chelsea to a 1-0 win at Chelsea Stadium, while Juventus drew 1-1 away to Zaragoza. Four teams remain in the Europa League, three of which are English. Holders Tottenham face Super Lampard’s Newcastle for a Final place, while Man City meet surprise package Mantova.

Let’s now take a walk down memory lane;

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 2

European action has also taken place, with Champions League games for Arsenal and Liverpool. Tom Smith’s Arsenal made a solid start to their 2008-09 European campaign, beating Vitória Guimarães 5-1 on aggregate, a 3-0 win at the Emirates slightly marred by conceding a goal at Estádio D. Afonso Henriques. Their manager hasn’t been very active in the transfer window as it ground itself virtually shut yesterday, with only a loan release to Crystal Palace. Jeremy English at Liverpool, raised £200k from the sale of Scottish youngster Gary Mackay-Steven to Blackpool on the transfer window’s final day, and despite lying only 15th in the Premier League with only 2 points, they beat Austria’s Rapid Wien with two 2-0 victories.

~~ ~~

Napoli, managed by Lord Weeman, also won their way to a victory of the same score in the same round of the UEFA Cup, the 2nd Qualifying, their opponents being Vojvodina from Serbia. With a 3-0 victory over bottom-placed Siena, they sit in second placed in Serie A, their only transfer being the loan release of a 17-year-old to Giugliano. Their fierce rivals, of which they have a lot, Roma, were challenging them for those high positions, having won 2-0 under the management of Clark Aitken. Udinese took up the last of the spots among the Spanish top four, with their Andorran manager Tyler Burrows having won 2-0 and spent no further on the £2.8M from last month. They also lost 0-1 to Liverpool in a pre-season friendly.

~~ ~~

Phill Ewles’s Valladolid lay just inside the cusp of the relegation zone in La Liga, having lost their first game 0-2 at home at the hands of Cristobal Blanco’s Recreativo. Tom Hamilton’s Mallorca lie just above Valladolid in 17th, having also lost 0-2, but having spent £650k on two late transfers, including Niko Kovac for £400k, with a further free transfer in of Stephen Appiah. Mallorca’s conquerers, Barcelona, lie 4th, with Haowan Madridstas, making no transfer impact expect the loaning out of two youngsters early in the month. However, an epic 8-0 win at the Nou Camp contributed to a 11-0 win aggregate win over Poles Wisla Krakow in the Champions League third qualifying round. Unbeaten in all competitions, including friendlies, and having conceded only three goals, the Spanishman’s team were looking formidable.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update

As the only unbeaten manager this month;

Lucas Volman, Real Madrid

gets this award. Real picked up sixteen points from the available eighteen, and have an almighty ten-point lead at the top of La Liga, which will probably see them secure the title next month.

Job Securities

[font=Courier New]  [b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New] 1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   6141
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6141
 [/font][font=Courier New] 3rd PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        6141
 [/font][font=Courier New] 4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        6141
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        6141
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800[/font]

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Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

[font=Courier New]  [b]Update Winner, Club                [/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
 [/font][font=Courier New]       Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid[/font]

All Star Top Ten – Shortest Time at Current Club/Nation

[font=Courier New]  [b] Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Days[/b]
  [/font][font=Courier New]1st [color=green]+1[/color] ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Rangers        36
 [/font][font=Courier New] 2nd NE ScottT!         Scott Tysoe       Sunderland    Fulham         38
 [/font][font=Courier New] 3rd [color=green]+1[/color] NepentheZ       Neppo Monster     Cagliari      Sunderland     51
 [/font][font=Courier New] 4th [color=red]-2[/color] TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Besiktas      147
 [/font][font=Courier New] 5th NE Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Roma          149
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th NE m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Leeds         288
 [/font][font=Courier New] 7th NE brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         England       291
 [/font][font=Courier New] 8th NE m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        England u19s  292
 [/font][font=Courier New] 9th NE Neilio          Neilio            Almería       Italy         298
 [/font][font=Courier New]10th [color=red]-5[/color] dafuge          dafuge            Torino        England u20s  299[/font]

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This could finally be the time.... Boys need to jsut hold out and not make any slip-ups and the title, might, just might, be ours!!

Never anticipated an update so much. MON Udinese!!!!!!!!

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Wow, I'm looking forward to my new start in Italy, back in a big league at last, and a cup final to look forward too.

I can't believe my linguistic skills though, but for winning the linguistic award can I just say

Thank You

Gracias

σας ευχαριστώ

teşekkür ederim, sağol

and soon to be grazie

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Update 203

Years: 16, Months: 203, Days: 6172

So, the end of the season has arrived, and with it, the flurry of excitement that accompanies cup finals and league final-day showdowns.

We’ll start in England, where, unsurprisingly, Tom Smith’s Arsenal didn’t reach the Champions League spots, but they did finish fifth, which is the next best thing. In May, they did well to get victories over Aston Villa and Newcastle, before a final-day draw at Elland Road. Chelsea, Liverpool, Newcastle and Tottenham finished in the top four, while Everton joined Sheffield United and Southampton in relegation. Blackburn, as we know, won the Championship, with Crystal Palace and playoff winners Hull joining them. They needed extra time, but Rafa Benítez’s Liverpool won the FA Cup with a 1-0 victory over Maz Armley’s Leeds. Leeds didn’t get into Europe, however. Their manager played three games with England under 19s this month, winning all three, away to Russia and at home to both Belarus and Scotland. This sees them qualify for this summer’s European U19 Championship.

Over in Italy, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese’s title campaign was blown to smithereens at the death. This month, they lost at Sampdoria, drew at Palermo, and beat Parma, and that wasn’t sufficient to stop Juventus and Inter overtaking them, with Mikael Schøler’s side securing the Scudetto. Lord Weeman’s Napoli are fifth, after beating Fiorentina and Roma, drawing with Modena and losing to A.C. Milan this month. They did, of course, play the Coppa Italia Final.

Road to the Final – Coppa Italia

Lord Weeman’s Napoli met Livorno in the First Round, and thrashed their visitors 6-0. This sent them into the Quarter Finals to play Palermo, whom they beat 4-2 away. Phill Ewles’s first game in charge of Roma was their First Round tie against Rimini, which they won 2-1. They then beat Modena 4-0 in the Last Eight, and reached the Final on away goals after a 2-2 aggregate draw with Modena in the Semi-Finals. Napoli drew goalless at title winners Juventus, and won 1-0 at home.
I suppose Roma were technically at home for the Final, but that didn’t seem to award them any special advantage. The match was dull; very few attacking chances occurred, and it took a mistouch from Roma midfielder Luciano Liberti to give Napoli the lead in the 76th minute, his interception going straight past his own ‘keeper. Congratulations to Weeman on his 8th piece of silverware. And was there a chance for another?

Road to the Final – Champions League

Mikael Schøler’s Juventus started their Champions League campaign in Group C, which was far from easy: Zaragoza and Rangers were their groupmates, alongside MSK Zilina. Surprisingly, Juvé started with victory at La Liga champions Zaragoza, and that spurred on a run of victories, with the team only dropping points in their last game at Rangers, when qualification was secured. That was also their first goal concession. They reached the Last 16, where they were handed a favourable tie with Porto. The match in Portugal ended goalless, allowing Schøler’s side to progress with a 2-0 home victory.

Juventus’ compatriots, Lord Weeman’s Napoli, were drawn into Group A, which held its own difficulties: Chelsea were among their opponents. Bayer Leverkusen turned out to be the groups’ whipping boys, and Napoli beat them twice, also picking up four points from Shakhtar Donetsk and one from Chelsea. They qualified second, but still got a favourable tie, against Lyon, which they won 3-2 on aggregate. This put them into the Quarter Finals, where they faced Barcelona. Remarkably, they won 4-0 at the Nou Camp, and progressed despite a 0-2 home loss in the second leg.

Juventus also got a surprising away win in their Quarter Final, winning 1-0 at the Emirates. They followed this up with the same result at home, and so got the opportunity to play Zaragoza again in the Semi-Finals. They drew 1-1 in Spain and won 2-0 at home, sealing their Final place. Napoli faced Chelsea, and were optimistic after holding Bryan McGuinness’s side to a 1-0 victory at Chelsea Stadium. Napoli advanced 2-1 on aggregate.

It was a return to Olimpico for Napoli, who had played the Coppa Italia Final there two games ago, and for Juventus, who had played a Serie A match against Roma there two games ago. Still, it was a convenient journey for fans, and that’s fortunate, as the Final wasn’t exactly a classic. A poor challenge from Juventus’ Northern Irish defender Peter Heron twenty-five minutes in, poor in that it got neither the ball nor the man, allowed Finland captain, and Lord Weeman’s biggest ever purchase, Lauri Dalla Valle to strike the ball into the net from just inside the penalty area. Juventus never threatened too much, and any chance of an equaliser pretty much evaporated when leftback Antonio Annunziata, who has been mentioned four times in 60 to One history, twice for giving away penalties, got a second yellow card. Another 1-0 Final win, and we must congratulate Weeman on his 9th piece of silverware.

Staying in Italy for just a moment, journeyman dafuge got his ninth chance to manage a club to greatness, being appointed by Palermo, who fired their manager in January. Mikey Twigge won Palermo the Europa League, and Neilio used the club as a base for his appointment as Italy’s first foreign coach in 60 years, and, exuse my cynicism, I don’t think dafuge will be doing similar things. I wish him luck nonetheless.

And now returning to Europe: Man City manager Roberto Mancini made himself an instant favourite by lifting the Europa League with a 1-0 victory over erstwhile holders Tottenham in Wrocław. Adam Pepper scored the only goal of the game after fifty minutes.

It’s time to conclude this report, at least the non-nostalgic bit, in Spain. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid ended their seven-year wait for the La Liga title, securing it without any style, by having it won for them by Alavés holding Zaragoza to a draw. Having said that, it isn’t fair to trivialise Volman’s hard work this month and throughout the season: in May, Real thrashed both Valencia and Villarreal, before themselves drawing with Alavés. 25-year-old Argentine striker Emanuel Páez was in particularly fine form, scoring seven goals. That brings me to;

The Emanuel Páez-o-meter

Goals this Month: 7

Total Goals: 86

Cost per Goal: £84,302.33

Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona can finish no higher than 6th, but at the same time, are guaranteed Europa League football. This month, they beat Mallorca, drew with Hércules and Las Palmas, and lost at Lars Tommersen’s third-placed Betis. Barça are 7th with a game to play. Málaga have been relegated from La Liga, with two from Sevilla, Villarreal and Athletic joining them. Atlético Madrid won the Copa del Rey on penalties after a 1-1 draw with Getafe at the Bernabéu.

Time for a big injection of nostalgia, I say.

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 3

In Spain, only one team has failed to win so far, that being Getafe, managed by Englishman Joe Seddon. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona lie below expectations in 5th place, and have also started their Champions League Group Stage abymslly, losing 0-2 to Zenit St. Petersburg. Elsewhere in the Champions League, Clark Aitken’s Roma have brought themselves to two wins, over Cool Manager’s Atlético Madrid and Jeremy English’s Liverpool. The Mersyside team also lie in 15th place in their domestic league, their worst result of the month being a 0-2 loss away to Whoopy Dee’s West Ham. However, they did progress to the League Cup 4th Round after a 2-1 win at St. Andrews.

~~ ~~

A.C. Milan have started their UEFA Cup campaign successfully, beating Standard Liege 3-0 in the First Leg of the First Round, hosted in Italy. Will de Mote’s team have started solidly in Serie A, yet a loss in one game has cost them as they are in 5th place. With a game in hand, however, and a 3-0 win over Theo Stigarakis’s Catania, they are looking to power into touching distance of their defeators Roma. Sampdoria, another Italian side in the European competition, started well with a 2-0 win over Hibernian, Da Hoover Man’s team winning at Easter Road Stadium, yet Lord Weeman’s Napoli lost their first leg 0-1 to FC København.

~~ ~~

Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid, tying in with last month’s Super Cup defeat, had a poor start to their Champions League campaign. While they conquered Shakhtar who visited from Ukraine, a trip to Germany in the form of a tie against Schalke 04 ended in a 1-4 defeat. Andre da Conceiçao’s Chelsea team have started their Champions League campaign in style with a double-whammy win, 1-0 over PSV and 3-0 away to Panathanaikos.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update

There have been some thoroughly satisfying conclusions to seasons. The most satisfying, undoubtedly, will have been for;

Lord Weeman, Napoli

who took his team to Coppa Italia and Champions League glory this month. Those two cup wins seem to overrule pretty much everything else, everything else being Lucas Volman’s coup of the La Liga title, basically. Credit to Volman, but even more to Weeman.

Job Securities

[font=Courier New]  [b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New] 1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   6172
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6172
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Very Secure   6172
 [/font][font=Courier New] 4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        6172
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        6172
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800[/font]

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Tables to come next month

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

[font=Courier New]  [b]Update Winner, Club                [/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
 [/font][font=Courier New]       Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli[/font]

All Star Top Ten – Highest ‘Longest Time at a Club’

[font=Courier New]  [b] Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Longest at   Days[/b]
  [/font][font=Courier New]1st  [color=blue]0[/color] SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Tottenham    3800
 [/font][font=Courier New] 2nd  [color=blue]0[/color] TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Fiorentina   3442
 [/font][font=Courier New] 3rd NE spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Man City     2937
 [/font][font=Courier New] 4th [color=red]-1[/color] fergysafc       Liam Ferguson     Man City      Man City     2783
 [/font][font=Courier New] 5th [color=red]-1[/color] JSalter         James Salter      Reggina       Reggina      2710
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th[color=red] -1[/color] Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Aston Villa  2591
 [/font][font=Courier New] 7th [color=red]-1[/color] Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Olympiakos   2532
 [/font][font=Courier New] 8th [color=red]-1[/color] m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Sevilla      2504
 [/font][font=Courier New] 9th [color=red]-1[/color] BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter         Inter        2502
 [/font][font=Courier New]10th NE brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         Leeds        2446[/font]

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Have faith, I'm sure I'll be taking Palermo to world domination :cool:

Or probably not :(

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Update 204

Years: 17, Months: 204, Days: 6202

You might think that, with the season virtually over in our three countries, this report would be a month off. That isn’t the case, far from it, and the reasons for that will soon become apparent.

Firstly, however, let’s look at how our managers in Spain and Italy concluded their seasons. El Classico ended the La Liga season, and it must have been quite annoying that it didn’t really mean anything. Actually, that isn’t true, and is in fact far from the truth. It was the last match perennial adversaries Haowan Madridstas and Lucas Volman would play against each other, with Madridstas to retire next month. The two managers’ handshake at the end turned into a consolatory hug which brought tears of nostalgia to one’s eyes. Barcelona won the game 3-1, but that wasn’t really too important. Volman announced his own retirement after the match; he intends to stay just one more year at the Bernabéu.

Speaking of retirement, stalwart Wales manager Saul Goode ended his career this month. Why he timed his departure to fall four days before a crucial match against Portugal nobody really knows, but the caretaker manager was able to get a 2-2 draw, while new manager Christian Johnson, who is nearly as old as Goode, guided the team to a 1-0 win in Belgium in his first game. Goode’s 12-year service to his national team won’t be forgotten, and he is of course Wales’ longest-serving manager, and got them into more tournaments than any other.

In Italy, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese finished their season well, with a 3-0 win at Vicenza, which saw them finish third. Lord Weeman’s Napoli lost 0-1 at Fréderico Canvey’s Sampdoria, but they were always going to be in next year’s Champions League anyway. Speaking of next year, Italian fans are already looking forward, and the papers have made their customary tip of A.C. Milan to win the title. Napoli are expected a climb to fourth and Udinese a fall to fifth, while Ascoli and Empoli, both newly-promoted, are tipped relegation. Cagliari, however, are believed to be capable of avoiding it, with Vicenza candidates for the drop instead.

Now it’s time for some international football. There was the Confederations Cup in France, but before we get to that, there was the little matter of World Cup qualifying. In Europe, Brettney Joven’s England won 3-0 in Kazakhstan and 2-1 in Scotland, with captain Craig Robson scoring two goals overall. Neilio’s Italy drew in Norway before a 3-0 away win over Armenia. In North America, Tim Aubel’s United States’ campaign took a turn for the worse, with 1-2 defeats to both Guatemala and Mexico

Okay, then, it’s Confederations Cup time. Brettney Joven’s England featured in Group A, alongside Ghana, New Zealand and France. England started in a controlled manner, with a 1-0 win over Ghana, before beating New Zealand 3-0. With qualification assured, they drew 2-2 with also-qualified France, with Sofiane Feghouli scoring both French goals, his third and fourth of the tournament. England topped the group, presumably by the drawing of lots. Group B saw Tim Aubel’s United States competing against Spain, Australia and Argentina. The Americans started poorly, losing 0-2 to World Champions Spain. Then, however, they beat Australia 3-1, before drawing their final game 2-2 with Argentina. Jozy Altidore got two braces, taking his all-time international goals total to 132. Unfortunately, Aubel’s four-point tally wasn’t good enough, both Argentina and Spain finishing on five. England met Spain in the Semi-Final, while France played the Argentines. England’s last meeting with Spain saw the Three Lions win 4-1, but that was under Liam Ferguson’s management. Under Joven’s, they did even better, thrashing the Spanish 5-0 in one of the most memorable nights ever in English football. Craig Robson got a hattrick as the three-times World Cup winners imploded. Regardless of the result in the other match, England would face a derby of sorts in the Final. It turns out France won it 2-1 with a goal from Bordeaux’s Alexandre Legrand in the 90+5th minute. The Final and Third Place Playoff take place next month.

A very good month for Brettney Joven, but what of the rest of the Dream Team? Maz Armley’s England under 19s played two friendly matches, winning 5-0 in Kazakhstan and drawing goalless in Scotland. 19-year-old Birmingham striker Stephen Hayward was in fine form, scoring four goals against the Kazakhs. dafuge's England under 20s played the first game in their U20 World Cup group stage. For some reason, even though Poland are the hosts, not all games are in Poland. England travelled to Ghana (although let’s pretend they didn’t) and won 3-0. Robert Boyle’s England under 21s played in the under 21 European Championship in Portugal. They started poorly, losing their first group game 0-2 to the Czech Republic, but recovered with wins over Ukraine and Portugal. This put them into the Semi-Final, where they beat Spain 2-0, and then came another match against the Czech Republic. However, Boyle turned the tables on the Czechs, and led England to a reversal of the scoreline earlier in the tournament. Portsmouth centreback Corey Watkins got both goals: talk about favouritism! Still, we must congratulate Boyle on his second U21 European Championship.

Football fans in England are looking forward to the new season. At long last, a team other than Manchester City have been made title favourites, with that honour going to Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea. Tom Smith’s Arsenal are expected to recover Champions League football with a fourth-placed finish, while Crystal Palace, Blackburn and Derby are all favourites for the drop. Newly-promoted Hull, having been taken over by a Greek tycoon last November, are tipped to finish eighth. Rafa Benítez’s Liverpool will finish third, say the papers, and that brings me on to some nostalgia.

You will notice that this is Update 204. That number is significant for one of our managers, Jeremy English. English was Liverpool manager for a short 204 days, but suddenly became England manager (it was so sudden I didn’t notice it for months), and lost his job there not-so-suddenly. His Liverpool tenure was ended in a poor month which saw FA Cup elimination to Bolton and a crucial loss to Manchester United, with Liverpool festering in the bottom half of the Premier League. English roamed about a bit, before becoming top dog with the national side, but his England team finished behind Saul Goode’s Wales in their 2014 World Cup qualifying group, and lost 2-3 to Russia in the playoff. Perhaps English’s endeavours look worse because his successors were good: Rafa Benítez succeeded him at Anfield, leading Liverpool to a Carling Cup win and a Champions League Final in that same season. Stuart Peace was the next England manager, and he won Euro 2016 and finished third in the 2018 World Cup. Still, English was overall a terrible manager, and pretty deserving of the honour of being fired first (Sorry!).

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 4

Unfortunately for Valencia, they have been knocked off the top of La Liga by Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid. Los Merengues won all three league games this month: the closest they came to an upset was a narrow 3-2 victory away over David Machine’s Athletic, who lie 17th and just above the relegation zone. They also had a comfortable result in Europe as Fenerbahçe came to visit in the Champions League, leaving after a 2-0 home win. Volman’s side had three 3-0 wins this month, two at home in the league and a third in the Spanish Cup Fourth Round First Leg, where they began the rout of Segunda División B islanders Fuerteventura.

~~ ~~

In other Champions League news for Spanish teams, Lars Tommersen’s Villarreal narrowly lost out 2-3 at home to Tom Smith’s Arsenal, yet beat Steve McLaren’s FC Twente 2-1 and lie 3rd, and Atlético Madrid lost 0-4 to Jeremy English’s Liverpool and sit bottom of their group. Despite this, things aren’t looking too rosy for English, as he sits in fear on the edge of his seat. A board takeover was completed, bringing in a Preston-born chairman in replacement of the Yanks, yet Dean Eaton may have his own plans for the management of Liverpool, and English’s job position is Very Insecure. He had an unbeaten month this month, sneaking him back into the top half, yet that included only one league win, over Martin Bojangles’s Hull, with two of the league’s most comfortable managers earning great draws against the Reds. Both of these managers are Very Secure, and Fréderico Canvey held Liverpool to a 1-1 draw at the Britannia yet didn’t win this month, yet Shazad Ali’s Newcastle earned a 0-0 at Anfield, winning a further two and losing one this month also.

~~ ~~

Every side has now won in La Liga, yet Getafe, managed by Joe Seddon, still remain bottom of the league with just 3 points. They lost 1-4 to Phill Ewles’s Valladolid yet beat Espanyol 2-1, the latter managed by Joe Gleeson. Gleeson’s side lie in 11th place but the match against Getafe was the only one they failed to win this month, their highlight being a 3-0 conquest of David Machine’s Athletic. Osasuna, managed by Welshman Saul Goode, lie just above Getafe, yet they lost all three league games this month, but came close against Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona, only losing 1-2 at home. Barcelona are 4th in La Liga yet have had an indifferent Champions League. While they defeated Werder Bremen 3-1, a 1-2 loss in Kiev sees them last in their group.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update

Some stellar performances this month, and some tear-jerking moments. It’s difficult to choose a winner, but I must so;

Robert Boyle , Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)

gets the award, for leading England under 21s to the U21 European Championship once again. Especially potent was a Final win against the Czech Republic, apt revenge for the Czechs beating England in their opening group game. Saul Goode was in the running for his epic tenure as Wales boss, while Brettney Joven made a nation ecstatic with an almost imponderable 5-0 win over Spain in the Confederations Cup Semi-Final. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese finished their season well, while Haowan Madridstas triumphed in an emotional El Classico.

Job Securities

[font=Courier New]  [b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New] 1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   6202
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6202
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   6202
 [/font][font=Courier New] 4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        6202
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        6202
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800[/font]

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Somehow ended up 2nd in the league after a dismal season :D

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Sad to see a fantastic campaign have a pretty poor finish, but 3rd is still an absolutely fantastic achievement. MON the Zebra's!!

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English Premier League Table

Italian Serie A Table

Spanish La Liga Table

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

[font=Courier New]  [b]Update Winner, Club                [/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
 [/font][font=Courier New]       Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)[/font]

All Star Top Ten – Lowest ‘Longest Time at a Club’

[font=Courier New]  [b] Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Longest at   Days[/b]
  [/font][font=Courier New]1st [color=green]+1[/color] NepentheZ       Neppo Monster     Cagliari      Fiorentina    959
  [/font][font=Courier New]2nd [color=green]+4[/color] MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Deportivo    1182
  [/font][font=Courier New]3rd [color=green]+4[/color] Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Villarreal   1230
 [/font][font=Courier New] 4th [color=green]+5[/color] el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    At. Madrid   1263
 [/font][font=Courier New] 5th NE ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Catania      1405
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th NE Ridleys         James Ridley      Siena         Sampdoria    1594
 [/font][font=Courier New] 7th NE ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Everton      1701
 [/font][font=Courier New] 8th NE hasdgfas        Tim Aubel         Fulham        Fulham       1705
 [/font][font=Courier New] 9th [color=red]-6[/color] canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Everton      1749
 [/font][font=Courier New]10th NE dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Besiktas     1847[/font]

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Update 205

Years: 17, Months: 205, Days: 6233

This month, former Manchester City and England manager Liam Ferguson declared his retirement from football. As well as winning two titles with Man City, Ferguson guided England to the European Championship during his six years in charge. We wish him well, but his, of course, wasn’t the only retirement this month. I think it’s apt to start this update with a lowdown of Haowan Madridstas’s stats.

 [font=Courier New]Highest Fee Spent      £37.5M (John Heitinga)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Highest Fee Received   £17.25M (Diego)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Players Bought         69 (£713M)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Players Sold           74 (£278M)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Players Released       31
 [/font][font=Courier New]Time at Barcelona      6224 days

 [/font][font=Courier New]Champions League wins  5 (2009, 2010, 2011, 2015, 2016)
 [/font][font=Courier New]La Liga wins           5 (2011, 2012, 2014, 2015, 2016)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Europa League wins     1 (2023)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Copa del Rey wins      4 (2013, 2014, 2019, 2020)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Spanish Super Cup wins 5 (2011, 2013, 2015, 2016, 2020)
 [/font][font=Courier New]UEFA Super Cup wins    2 (2009, 2010)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Club World Chmp wins   5 (2009, 2010, 2011, 2015, 2016)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Total Silverware       27
 [/font][font=Courier New]Awards Won             16

 [/font][font=Courier New]Matches Played         1016
 [/font][font=Courier New]Matches Won            666
 [/font][font=Courier New]Matches Drawn          184
 [/font][font=Courier New]Matches Lost           166
 [/font][font=Courier New]Goals Scored           2457 (2.42p/m)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Goals Conceded         946  (0.93p/m)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Goal Difference        +1511

 [/font][font=Courier New]Manager of the Update  26 times
 [/font][font=Courier New]In Stats Lists         143 times
 [/font][font=Courier New]Tops Stats List        59 times
 [/font][font=Courier New]Months as Most Secure  141
 [/font][font=Courier New]Times Mentioned        1928

 [/font][font=Courier New]Hall of Fame Points    720 (10 Major Trophies, 5 Minor Trophies)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Spanish Hall of Fame   1st by 160 points (2nd Miguel Muñoz, 560)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Spain Hall of Fame     1st by 80 points (2nd Lucas Volman, 640)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Europe Hall of Fame    2nd (1st Alex Ferguson, 817; 3rd Giovanni Trapattoni, 705)
 [/font][font=Courier New]World Hall of Fame     As Europe[/font]

We say goodbye to a true legend, and wish him well in his retirement.

The Nou Camp post was filled by former United States, Bolton, Palermo, Celtic and Lazio manager Bob Bradley, who is actually older than Madridstas. But that wasn’t the only major appointment in Spain this month: after the national team’s 0-2 defeat to Argentina in the Confederations Cup Third Place Playoff, the Spanish FA sacked Quique Flores, exactly a year after his appointment. Former Stoke and Everton manager Fréderico Canvey was hired as his replacement. Former Udinese manager Pasquale Morino took the vacated post at Sampdoria.

So, Argentina finished third in the Confederations Cup, but the more important matter was the Final, where England met France. The match was actually very boring, a definite anti-climax to England’s 5-0 Semi-Final victory over France. It took a good goal for Brettney Joven’s side to take the lead, seven minutes from time, with Inter attacking midfielder Matt Hazell seeming to instinctively strike Craig Robson’s pass into goal from twenty yards out. Theo Walcott almost made it 2-0 a couple of minutes later, but he dawdled on the chance. Still, England held out, and claimed their first Confederations Cup title.

That wasn’t the only international tournament taking place this month. Tim Aubel’s United States took place in the North American Gold Cup, which they also hosted. They romped to victory in their group stage, beating St Vincent & the Grenadines 3-0, Panama 4-2, and Honduras 3-0. Jozy Altidore got four goals. This gave them a Quarter Final match-up with rivals Cuba, and the Americans won 2-1, with a winner two minutes from time from Québécois midfielder Guillame Nakajima-Farran. The Americans then played Mexico in the Semi-Final, and Nakajima-Farran struck again, this time a 72nd-minute equaliser. The Americans won 5-3 on penalties after a 1-1 draw. Aubel’s side play the Final against Costa Rica next month, while Mexico will play Guatemala in the Semi-Final.

Two of the members of the Dream Team were also playing tournaments this month. dafuge’s England under 20s were in Poland for their World Cup. Having beaten Ghana last month, they also got victories over Japan and Zimbabwe, which saw them top Group E. Australia awaited in the Quarter Finals, and although England’s lead was halved by an Australian goal a minute from time, they held out for a 2-1 victory. Next came Turkey, who were beaten 2-0. England met Brazil in the Final, and a goal from 20-year-old Badalona striker Alanderson just short of the hour mark was the only thing to separate the teams, leaving dafuge disappointed with his Runners-Up medal. Maz Armley’s under 19s were in Finland for their European Championship. They started with a 4-1 victory over Spain, but lost 2-3 to Germany in their second group stage match. They finished second in their group, beating Ireland 3-1 in the final game. Croatia were England’s Semi-Final opponents, and despite only leading 1-0 with ten minutes to go, England ended up as 3-0 winners. It was another match against Germany in the Final in Tampere, and the Germans took the lead after a quarter of an hour. Armley’s side, however, got revenge, running out 3-1 victors with three goals in the second half.

The transfer window opened this month. Lord Weeman’s Napoli were fairly busy: Weeman earned an impressive £44M, with the £33M sale of Brazilian fullback Sérgio to Mantova and the £11M departure of Slovakian centreback Eugen Nemec to Valencia. The Sérgio deal was simply Mantova buying half of the player back, but it was a cash cow nonetheless. Weeman bought one-and-a-half players, Valencia’s midfielder Cosimo Simoncini for £9M, and half of Lazio’s Senegalese midfielder Souleymane Sambou for £2.6M. Everton goalkeeper Rico Clark also arrived, on a free. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese made three signings; £3.6M was the pricetag of two centrebacks: Parma’s Sandro Benedetti and Zaragoza’s Luca Raffaelli, and Bolivia captain Diego Suarez arrived for £3.9M from Newcastle.

Tom Smith’s Arsenal made one flagship signing, buying Blackburn’s Irish central midfielder Paul Greaves for £10.75M. Australian defender Don Taylor left the club for Ipswich, netting Smith £1.8M, while both Henri Saivet and Theo Walcott left on free transfers, the latter straight to Neppo Monster’s Sunderland. Lucas Volman oversaw two big departures from Real Madrid: Czech midfielder Karel Vagner joined Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea for £9.75M, and Italian striker Giacomo Di Giuseppe left for Man City for £17M. In a smaller transfer, 21-year-old Spanish goalkeeper Rubén Bernal joined Linares for £140k. One new player arrived at the Bernabéu, Inter’s Paraguayan midfielder Héctor Merlo joining for £4.6M. Morgan Schneiderlin was the most notable player to be released from the club. Volman’s side are title favourites, tipped to beat Zaragoza and rivals Atlético to top spot.

Nostalgia time!

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 5

All of the English Big Four had troubles this month, although it was arguably Manchester United who had the least amount of them. Maurice Jobson guided his Red Devils team to a 3-0 victory over Celtic in the Champions League, a 4-0 victory over Watford in the League Cup and a 5-0 victory over lowly Wigan in the league. However, the Rwandan was unable to successfully leave the Emirates, where Tom Smith’s Arsenal won 2-1 with an Edwin van der Sar dismissal. A saving grace for Jobson may be that in tomorrow’s League Cup Quarter Final, they are at home to the London club. Smith, however, was not without his own problems. He promptly dismissed Steve McClaren’s FC Twente when they visited in the Champions League, but were pegged back 2-2 by a resilient Everton, and a trip to Craven Cottage didn’t go to plan, where they were handed a 0-2 defeat.

~~ ~~

Back to sunny Spain now and Lawrence Lazewski’s Valencia top the form charts without a loss this month. This includes a 4-0 home victory over Murcia in the Spanish Cup and a trip to Austria where a 3-0 win was upsetting for Salzburg. A 4-0 win over Recreativo was another highlight. Real Madrid, managed by Lucas Volman, were also unbeaten, including a 2-0 demolition of their opponents in Donetsk, a 5-0 Cup win over Fuerteventura, resulting in an 8-0 aggregate, and a 3-0 win over Maz Armley’s Racing. Two Spanish teams found themselves unable to win, but Sirus Lannock’s Málaga accumulated four draws whereas Getafe saw themselves to only two.

~~ ~~

Just four remain now. How long until we get down to the final three?

Manager of the Update

There were a number of candidates this month.

Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)

gets the award, for leading England to the Confederations Cup title for the very first time. Joven was challenged for the award by Fréderico Canvey, who got the Spanish national team job, by Tim Aubel, who took the United States to the Gold Cup Final, by Maz Armley, who won the European U21 Championship, and by Lord Weeman, who secured the £33M sale of half of one player.

Job Securities

[font=Courier New]  [b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New] 1st Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6233
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   6233
 [/font][font=Courier New] 3rd PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        6233
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        6233
 [/font][font=Courier New] 5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800[/font]

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to the Gold Cup finals!

Sad to see Madridstas go, though. What a career.

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Amazing career for Haowan, terrible to see him go :(

And then there were four....

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Writer’s Notes: Vanilla, therefore, works out as the worst ice cream flavour.

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

[font=Courier New]  [b]Update Winner, Club                [/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
 [/font][font=Courier New]       Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
 [/font][font=Courier New]Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
 [/font][font=Courier New]May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)
 [/font][font=Courier New]Jul 25 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)[/font]

All Star Top Ten – Highest ‘Shortest Time at a Club’

[font=Courier New]  [b] Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Shortest at  Days[/b]
  [/font][font=Courier New]1st [color=green]+2[/color] Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Valladolid   1292
 [/font][font=Courier New] 2nd [color=green]+2[/color] el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Liverpool    1242
 [/font][font=Courier New] 3rd [color=green]+2[/color] Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Hull         1241
 [/font][font=Courier New] 4th [color=green]+2[/color] spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Chelsea      1059
 [/font][font=Courier New] 5th [color=green]+2[/color] SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Man United    708
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th [color=green]+2[/color] MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Bologna       613
 [/font][font=Courier New] 7th [color=green]+3[/color] ScottT!         Scott Tysoe       Sunderland    Sunderland    501
 [/font][font=Courier New] 8th NE Ridleys         James Ridley      Siena         Fulham        353
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - [color=red]-6[/color] BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter         Man City      353
 [/font][font=Courier New]10th NE ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Man United    341
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - NE super_lampard   Super Lampard     Lecce         Parma         341[/font]

Lifespan – 5 to 10 Years

[font=Courier New]  [b] Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days[/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New] 7th TaylorB              Ben Taylor          Fiorentina 3442
 [/font][font=Courier New] 8th fergysafc            Liam Ferguson       Man City   2783
 [/font][font=Courier New] 9th JSalter              James Salter        Reggina    2710
 [/font][font=Courier New]10th mikeytwigge          Mikey Twigge        Palermo    2507
 [/font][font=Courier New]11th BenArsenal           Ben Cee             Inter      2502
 [/font][font=Courier New]12th super_lampard        Super Lampard       Lecce      2119
 [/font][font=Courier New]13th Cardiovascular       Cardio Vascular     Genoa      2010
 [/font][font=Courier New]14th Lower Leagues Rule   Jonte Rhodes        Lazio      1968[/font]

Lifespan – 2 to 5 Years

[font=Courier New]  [b] Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days[/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New]15th [/font][font=Courier New]hasdgfas             Tim Aubel           Fulham     1705
 [/font][font=Courier New]16th ~Ian~                Bryan McGuinness    Everton    1701
 [/font][font=Courier New]17th rancer890            Ricky Nakano        Middlesbro 1614
 [/font][font=Courier New]18th ssestig              Theo Stigarakis     Catania    1405
 [/font][font=Courier New]19th bermybhoy            bermybhoy           Atalanta   1320
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - IlikeJellybeans      Jellybean Man       Numancia   1320
 [/font][font=Courier New]21st m1234566778          Maz Armley          Racing     1288
 [/font][font=Courier New]22nd el sid               Cool Manager        At. Madrid 1263
 [/font][font=Courier New]23rd spartans5            Lawrence Lazewski   Valencia   1259
 [/font][font=Courier New]24th Greasy Chip Butty    Andy Morton         Sporting   1244
 [/font][font=Courier New]25th Martin_              Martin Bojangles    Hull       1241
 [/font][font=Courier New]26th clrkaitken           Clark Aitken        Roma       1237
 [/font][font=Courier New]27th Waghlon              Lars Tommersen      Villarreal 1230
 [/font][font=Courier New]28th Walcott’s Wonderkids Brucie Bonus        West Brom  1210
 [/font][font=Courier New]29th Almondo              Arnold J. Rimmer    Bolton     1208
 [/font][font=Courier New]30th Neji                 Neji Hyuuga         Deportivo   999
 [/font][font=Courier New]31st Jack Rudd            Lisa Jeffries       Juventus    925
 [/font][font=Courier New]32nd pnefc22              Wobill Luman        Betis       889
 [/font][font=Courier New]33rd AtilasMiserly        Will de Mote        A.C. Milan  882
 [/font][font=Courier New]34th JoeLatics            Joe Gleeson         Espanyol    873
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - Blanco               Cristobal Blanco    Recreativo  873
 [/font][font=Courier New]36th ian_1982             Maurice Jobson      Man United  852
 [/font][font=Courier New]37th Ridleys              James Ridley        Siena       843[/font]

Lifespan – 1 to 2 Years

[font=Courier New]  [b] Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days[/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New]38th conners              Sirus Lannock       Málaga     628
 [/font][font=Courier New]39th MikaelS              Mikael Schøler      Bologna    613
 [/font][font=Courier New]40th Swafe                Saul Goode          Osasuna    551
 [/font][font=Courier New]41st hamilton162          Tom Hamilton        Mallorca   509
 [/font][font=Courier New]42nd kashmirshazad        Shazad Ali          Newcastle  508
 [/font][font=Courier New]43rd DiscoStu94           Da Hoover Man       Sampdoria  501
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - ScottT!              Scott Tysoe         Sunderland 501
 [/font][font=Courier New]45th canvey!!             Fréderico Canvey    Stoke      476[/font]

Lifespan – Less than 1 Year

[font=Courier New]  [b] Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days[/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New]46th corinthiano          Mathias Brunckhorst Chievo     327
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - Neilio               Neilio              Almería    327
 [/font][font=Courier New]48th Robert_296           Robert Boyle        Blackburn  326
 [/font][font=Courier New]49th brettney1980         Brettney Joven      Wigan      320
 [/font][font=Courier New]50th TigerJoe             Joe Seddon          Getafe     271
 [/font][font=Courier New]51st jack.browne          Jack Browne         Sevilla    250
 [/font][font=Courier New]52nd NepentheZ            Neppo Monster       Cagliari   236
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - dafuge               dafuge              Torino     236
 [/font][font=Courier New]54th KiddingChoc          Zach Machios        Portsmouth 235
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - Whoopy D             Whoopy D            West Ham   235
 [/font][font=Courier New]56th d-machine            David Machine       Athletic   229
 [/font][font=Courier New]57th PaulHartman71        Jeremy English      Liverpool  204
 [/font][font=Courier New]58th Chimpos              Phill Ewles         Valladolid
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - tadr                 Andre da Conceiçao  Chelsea
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - markcator3006        Mark Cator          Aston Villa[/font]

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Yay top of the Shortest Time at a Club League now. Only moving on when another country takes my fancy. I might not have had the most glittering mangerial career, but I bet there will be a lot of memories to look back on.

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Writer’s Notes: Vanilla, therefore, works out as the worst ice cream flavour.

I've always hated vanilla. I'm glad that it now has scientific justification. :p

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Vanilla is the best :(

I only chose coffee to be different...

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Update 206

Years: 17, Months: 206, Days: 6264

Writing the first update without Haowan Madridstas makes me feel like there’s a part of me missing. Perhaps the four remaining managers feel they same, as none has made a particularly good start to the 2025-26 season.

Tom Smith’s Arsenal, for instance, are 15th in the Premier League after three games. They beat Leicester this month, but lost to Ipswich and to Fulham. On the plus side, they beat Denmark’s FC Midtjylland 5-0 on aggregate in their Europa League Fourth Qualifying Round tie. Ipswich and Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea lead the Premier League, both on seven points. Chelsea also won the Community Shield with a 1-0 win over Liverpool.

In Spain, Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid sit 12th. They drew their first game of the season goalless at Getafe. They did, however, get a narrow but important 2-1 aggregate victory over rivals Atlético in the Spanish Super Cup, which is Volman’s twenty-sixth item of silverware.

After their first game of the season, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese sit rock bottom of Serie A. They lost their game 0-2 at home to Mikael Schøler’s Juventus. Udinese did, however, thrash their opponents in their Champions League Qualifying Round, winning 1-0 against Dinamo Kiev in Ukraine, and 6-2 at Friuli. Lord Weeman’s Napoli have yet to start their Serie A season, but they lost the Italian Super Cup 0-1 to Juventus, and won the UEFA Super Cup with a 2-0 win over Roberto Mancini’s Manchester City.

August was the last month of the transfer window, but our managers were pretty quiet. Lucas Volman and Tom Smith did some dealings, with 31-year-old left winger Steve Robertson leaving the Bernabéu for the Emirates for £2.5M. Real Madrid made a handful of smaller transfers, getting rid of seven players for a combined total of £2.76M. Lord Weeman sold 17-year-old leftback Giuseppe Bertoli to Bologna for £350k.

Tim Aubel’s United States played the Gold Cup Final at the start of this month. They looked to have the better of the match, but were unable to score, and it seemed that extra time would be necessary. It wasn’t: 23-year-old Costa Rican grey winger Eduardo Marín scored the winning goal for his country in the 90+4th minute, and for the first time since 2000, a nation other than Mexico or Canada won the tournament. The Americans also played a World Cup qualifying game, and they made up for two consecutive defeats with a 3-1 win in Cuba.

I don’t recall any year when we’ve had just three teams in the Champions League. Two of them got pretty unfavourable draws, but defending champions Napoli got an easy group: Porto might threaten, but matches against Slavia Prague and Panathanaikos should be a doddle. Udinese meet Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea, as well as Sporting CP and Spartak Moscow. Real Madrid meet Italian Super Cup winners and Serie A holders Juventus, as well as Newcastle, with Cyprus’ Anorthosi also competing. Inter versus Atlético Madrid is a notable group stage match-up.

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 6

There was good news for two of our managers this month as the English League Cup Quarter Finals were played. In one tie, Championship Reading ousted their fellow second-tier opponents Cardiff, while all of the others had Premier League managers in action for one of the season’s earlier pieces of silverware. However, it was not to be for Liam Ferguson, whose Manchester City team lost on penalties to Wolverhampton Wanderers. Jeremy English, in the middle of a mini-revitalisation at Anfield, knocked out Andre da Conceiçao’s Chelsea, while the other two Big Four teams were in action in the other tie, with Manchester United knocking out Tom Smith’s Arsenal.

~~ ~~

England weren’t the only country hosting a cup this month, and it is over to Italy where the First Round of the Italian Cup took place. Perhaps the best win of the round was that of Atalanta, manged by bermybhoy, who knocked out Ben Taylor’s Fiorentina away. There were convincing wins for Inter Milan, A.C. Milan and Da Hoover Man’s Sampdoria, while Lord Weeman’s Napoli squeaked past Mikel Schøler’s Bologna on penalties. Roma, Juventus and Mikey Twigge’s Palermo join these teams in the Quarter Final.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update

I wasn’t particulary impressed this month. Still;

Lucas Volman, Real Madrid

gets this award, for making a decent if not great start to his last ever season. Volman secured the Spanish Super Cup, and drew his first La Liga game. Meanwhile, Lord Weeman’s Napoli won the UEFA Super Cup, and Tyler Burrows’s Udinese thrashed Dinamo Kiev, but made a poor start to the league season.

Job Securities

[font=Courier New]  [b]Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days[/b]
 [/font][font=Courier New] 1st Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6264
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   6264
 [/font][font=Courier New] 3rd PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        6264
 [/font][font=Courier New]   - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        6264
 [/font][font=Courier New] 5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
 [/font][font=Courier New] 6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800[/font]

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Oops, I almost missed this - yesterday was 60 to One's second birthday.

birthday-cake.jpg

Happy Birthday 60 to One!

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Happy birthday to this wonderful thread. :thup:

Even though I've been sacked (unfairly IMO). :p

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congrats Canvey!! :D

Considering how long some sign-ups last on this forum, it's great to see the amount of commitment you bring to your games :thup:

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Two years is absolutely amazing!! My performance not so :(

Keep up the amazing work Canvey!! This is potential Hall of Fame worthy when finished :thup:

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