“I Done Bought Myself Olympiakos” (FMS Characters)

CopperHorse hefted his feet up onto his desk, leaned back into his chair and looked at his offsider Tenthreeleader with a grin of satisfaction.

“I done bought myself Olympiakos”, said CopperHorse triumphantly.

“What the goddam hell is Olympiakos?” asked Tenthreeleader.

“Why, you poor fool, it’s nothing but the biggest soccer club in all of Greece. I just paid the owner $5M to take over the club lock, stock and barrel”.

“But why’d you go and do that, Copper?”

“Cos I’m gonna be a soccer mogul like that George Gillet and his buddy Tom Hicks at Liverpool and that Randy Lerner fella at Aston Villa”.

“Are you sure this is the way to go and make a big name for yourself? I just hope it doesn’t end up like that chain of ice-cream factories that you bought in the Mojave Desert”.

“Goddamit, Tenthree. I told you that there subject is banned around here!”

“Sorry, Copper”.

“Accepted. Now get yourself on the phone to Olympiakos and sort me out the details. I wanna get myself over to Athens quick smart to introduce myself to the Greek press as the club’s new owner. I’ve got me a media profile to build.”

*** *** ***

Twenty minutes later Tenthreeleader sheepishly stuck his head around the door of CopperHorse’s office.

“Copper, we’ve got us a problem here”.

“Well, spit it out, Tenthree”.

“I done rang that Olympiakos club in Greece and they said they knows nothing about the deal”.

“What you mean nothing?”

“Hold your horses and I’ll tell you. Anyways, I decided to be proactive like you is always telling me and I asked the receptionist to find me the phone number you was speaking to in Greece. I rang the number and the person who answered said it was a soccer club that I was done talking to.”

“So what’s the problem then?”

“The soccer club you was speaking to is Olympiakos Volou, not Olympiakos Piraeus”.

“There’s more than one Olympiakos?”

“Yes, Copper, there is. You’ve done gone and bought the goddam wrong soccer club!”

*** *** ***

Author’s Note:

This is just a piece of fun to keep me amused travelling to and from work and during my lunch break. No FMSers were harmed in the writing of this story and I hope that any readers accept the jokes in the amusing manner that they were intended to convey.

The saved game is being played on CM01/02 (Original Data) with just the Greek leagues selected.

What in tarnation kind of tale you spinning here, Spav?

It was hard to tell through the tears of laughter rolling out of my eyes.

Thanks for the kicks. Loving it already.

But I might be biased....

Keep up the awesome material! I can hardly wait to read the rest. This is pants!

Sounds epic already! You bought the wrong club. xD But I guess that's part of the plot of this story.

Always a good thing to be proactive! Except when it's not, I suppose

Copper, we've "arrived"!

I was a bit bemused when i saw the opening of this, but it had my in fits of laughter at the end.

think Im going to enjoy this one Spav

CopperHorse walked over to double doors of his top floor hotel suite and flung them open to step out onto the balcony that was now beckoning. His offsider Tenthreeleader followed him out into the bright sunshine.

“So tell me where the goddam hell I am again”, demanded the American multi-millionaire.

“You’re in the Hotel Oxyacetylene”, replied his able assistant.

“Tarnation, Tenthree. You know what I mean”.

“Oh, I see, Copper. We’re in the city of Volos, which is 155 miles north of Athens on the eastern coast of Greece. That there water you can see out there is the Aegean Sea.”

“Right – and so this is where my new soccer club Olympiakos Volou have their home stadium”.

“Yes, Copper. The EAK Volou stadium is just over there to the south. You can see the floodlights from here”.

“And tell me again why I don’t have any players at my club”.

“Well, Copper, there are two reasons. The first is cos you upset most of the players and the fans when you announced in the press that you was gonna take the franchise from this here ‘backwater’ and transfer it to the ‘beauty and sophistication’ of Athens”.

“And just what the goddam hell was the problem with that?”

“Here in Greece you can’t just buy a soccer club and move it to another city like you can do back in the States. Soccer club here are tied to their home cities by years of tradition and loyalty”.

“I still can’t get my head around that, but anyways, what the other reason?”

“The second reason was when you announced that Olympiakos Volou was gonna do a pre-season tour of Turkey!”

Spav, this is shaping up to be quite a story. Keep it up ! BTW this is in no way a shameless effort to try and get myself into this story. No it isn't. Not at all.

Great to see a story bout a Greek team, pity though that it's not the Olympiakos team I support! Still though, I wish you good luck!

Turkey, huh? I hope you do realise that you've started bad, real bad!

Did you know that the average time a manager stays in place in Greece is something like nine months or till the first really bad result (whichever comes first)?

Rehhagel would have been sacked after two games in charge of the national team if we had gotten soundly beaten in his second game in charge by England at Old Trafford (remember that Beckham free-kick?) as we were in his first game in charge (5-1 to Norway).

By the way, you've picked to manage a team in one of the most beautiful parts of Greece, which manages to have breathtaking views of both the sea and the mountains and is a favourite place for Greeks to go on a ski holiday in the winter! Hope you enjoy that part of your stay at least, but judging from your start I will not be holding my breath that you'll still be there come Christmas!

------------------------------------------------------

'Before you can score you must first have a goal' - Greek proverb.

Sounds like it's going to be a very intresting story with lots of twists hopefully. Like the humour in it aswell. KUTGW!

This is just great.

CopperHorse sat in the chairman’s office at the EAK Volou stadium and pondered the position that he found himself in. He was the new owner of Olympiakos Volou, but he currently had no employees and no players. The entire staff had walked out on him after he had announced that he intended to shift the club to Athens and begin the club’s campaign with a pre-season tour of Turkey.

“Correction, I do have me one staff member”, he suddenly said out loud.

“Did you say something, Copper?” called his offsider Tenthreeleader from the office next door.

“Yes, Tenthree. I was wondering how the hell my new first team manager was getting on with our player recruitment drive”.

Tenthreeleader got up from his desk, walked around the corner and took a seat facing CopperHorse.

“I’ve had a few responses, Copper. That there idea of mine to sell places on the roster by auctioning them on e-Bay has really caught on. I’ve sold eight already that have reached the automatic reserve price of $1,000”.

“What was them there conditions you set up again?”

“That the successful bidder would win himself a one-year professional soccer contract with Greek B Division club Olympiakos Volou; that no wage would be paid, but that all costs regarding accommodation and food would be met; and that bonuses could be applied during and at the end of the season depending on performances”.

“And we’ve got ourselves eight players already?”

“Yes, I’ve organised flights and they’re on their way to Greece as we speak”.

“Well done, Tenthree. We’ll get this here show up and on the road yet”.

*** *** ***

When Tenthreeleader returned to his desk he set about registering the expected eight arrivals as Olympiakos Volou players with the Greek Football Association. Thankfully they represented a variety of playing positions, so he was starting to put together the makings of a replacement team.

The list he was working from showed the following names:

Flipstyle – GK – 18yo – USA

Faramir – D/DM R – 21yo – USA

Flipsix3 – D/DM L – 29yo – England

JimT – DC – 23yo – England

SCIAG – DC – 31yo – England

Spav – DM C – 28yo – Australia

Mark Wilson27 – AM C – 26yo – England

Chesterfan2 – SC – 31yo – England

Looking at the club’s fixture list Tenthreeleader saw that it was just a week until the team would have to leave Greece for their three-match tour of Turkey. Olympiakos Volou would play the following matches:

27/07 – Darica Genclerbirligi (A)

29/07 – Tokatspor (A)

31/07 – Kucukkoyspor (A)

After that there were three games in Group 4 of the Greek Cup where Olympiakos Volou had been drawn with the A Division side Iraklis and the amateurs Peirikos and Doxa Dramas.

Getting a squad of at least twenty players together was Tenthree’s main priority and he hoped to himself that he’d be able to do it before the official Greek Cup matches started in just under three weeks time.

Not only am I funny, I seem to have a keen eye for talent

It looks good to me I hope you'll continue writing this story.

Humorous stories like this are too few and far between; it's great to see you writing this Spav. Can't wait to see where this goes and hopefully the defense will make my job easy as keeper.

Guys, just to make things clear, all I'm doing here is playing a CM01/02 game in the Greek league where I've decided to nickname the original Olympiakos Volou players with the names of the FMS regulars to make things a bit more interesting.

At this early stage I am listing your nationalities according to what I believe they are based on my reading of your FMS stories, so if you get given the incorrect nationality please let me know and I'll be happy to change it. Unfortunately positions cannot be changed.

New players will appear over the first few weeks of the season, but I hope that I can get most of the FMS regulars into this story.

I can't read this story without going into fits of laughter!

It will be interesting to see which of the players is the best.

This is great

Have I lined up a sponsor yet?

My first choice would be for Sports Interactive to become our sponsors. However, I don't know if 5,000 pounds a year is too much to ask for from their coffers considering the new upgrades to the forum boards this year we are all experiencing.

Just to warn you Spav the last time I was put in a team on this forum ( gennaros, my life in your hands or something like that) my player was quite innjury prone lol

SCAIG – DC – 31yo – England

This is my finest moment

Thanks for the encouragement and comments from everyone - some of them have given me ideas for future storylines (copperhorse21's sponsorship comment, for example).

SCIAG - I fixed the incorrect spelling of your name; I'd hate to disappoint you in your finest moment.

SCIAG - I fixed the incorrect spelling of your name; I'd hate to disappoint you in your finest moment.

I didn't even notice that .

Someone has me down as a lefty - I would object, but as I'll be following in the footsteps of Mighty Mike Zonneveld (from my own tale) I'll take it

Chesterfan2 – SC – 31yo – Wales

Wales ? WALES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chester, the city, not the football ground , is not in Wales. I was born in the city, not the football ground.

You best correct this immediately or I may be forced to a) trash our friendship and b) mention that thing called a 'medal table'.

Blame me, Chester. Spav says I'm the guy who found the players.

looks good Spav, just hope this doesn't take you away from your World Cup story too much!

Good ol' CM01/02, brings back memories of being 18, getting home wasted at 2 in the morning and thinking I am Managing God, 2 hours, $100M gone and 5 matches lost later I'm unconcious!

Wales ? WALES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chester, the city, not the football ground , is not in Wales. I was born in the city, not the football ground.

You best correct this immediately or I may be forced to a) trash our friendship and b) mention that thing called a 'medal table'.

Oops, a geographical faux-pas there. Fixed mate, gotta keep you happy as the one of the team's key strikers.

Oops, a geographical faux-pas there. Fixed mate, gotta keep you happy as the one of the team's key strikers.

Thanks mate, I knew you'd see reason. Besides which the 'medal table' threat isn't going to hold much water with tenthree now is it ?

This is a great opening, I have been away for a few months, and is nice to see the place running along, with all the high-class writers in operatioi. I hope you are all well

Trust me, the people oppisite me in the internet cafe are giving me strange looks because I'm laughing.

Brilliant. Flippin brilliant.

CopperHorse had been out trying to mend fences with the local community in Volos – both figuratively and literally. The new owner of Olympiakos Volou had offered the disgruntled former supporters of his club a season membership ticket each if they would show up at the EAK Volou stadium and help him out on a working bee where he was trying to spruce up the home ground before the start of the season.

Copper had dispensed with his coat and tie and had rolled his sleeves up in the late July summer heat as he worked at repairing a gap in a mesh-wire fence behind the main stand. Several strands of wire had been broken – or more likely been cut – and he was attempting to re-tie them to close up the hole. A small crowd had gathered to watch his efforts.

“Hey, buddy, would you give a fella a hand?” he said to a middle-aged gentleman who stood propped against an electricity pole.

The man looked down his nose at Copper and didn’t reply.

“There’s a season ticket to all of our games in it for you”, he said as he tried to communicate with the man again.

This time the man hawked and spat on the ground a few yards from Copper’s feet.

“Perhaps you’re not too keen with that sinus problem you’ve obviously got”, said Copper as he finished re-tying the wire strands. He clapped his hands together to remove the dust and picked up his coat and tie.

“Have a think about my offer anyway”, said Copper as he turned and walked back up the road toward the office.

When Copper had turned out of sight the middle-aged man pulled a pair of wire cutters out of his pocket, walked over to the fence where Copper had been working and nonchalantly cut all the wires again.

*** *** ***

Upstairs in the office Tenthreeleader was busy finalising the registration of the latest players to successfully win a spot on the Olympiakos Volou playing roster by forking out $1,000 on e-Bay for that right. There were ten further newcomers which gave the team eighteen players to take on their pre-season tour of Turkey which was departing the next day.

The list he was working from showed the following names:

BobBev – GK – 31yo – Scotland

PaulHartman71 – D RC – 29yo – England

Weeeman27bob – DM R – 23yo – England

O\’Hara fan – DM L – 17yo – England

Amaroq – M R – 29yo – USA

Kewell08 – AM RLC – 31yo – Australia

Terk – AM/F R – 38yo – Scotland

Sherm – AM/F R – 25yo – England

Okkas – AM C – 17yo – England

Balthazars – F L – 22yo – Australia

“Eighteen players”, thought Tenthree to himself. “Copper done wanted me to get twenty players signed up before we left, but I am two short. Hell, there’s nothing else for it but to register the only two people that I know are available”.

Tenthree picked up two further registration forms and added the details for the following people:

Copperhorse21 – D RC – 36yo – USA

Tenthreeleader – S C – 29yo – USA

Spav,

Still loving your work, but I'm getting a bit nervous with the accuracy reflected in your work. It's starting to be almost as scary as the guru the LLaMa's go to for advice when searching for a new team.

In real life as a youth player, I played a striker. Then in college, I dropped back to midfield because I didn't have the technical skills to play up front. Then in adult Sunday Leagues I've eventually moved to the outside defenders because my stamina dropped enough to prevent me from the flanking midfielders. You also guessed my age within 2 years. Nice!

Tenthreeleader – S C – 29yo – USA

Now THAT is desperation.

It's all coincidence, Copper. Those are the ages of the players in the saved game and the players assignments were randomly done.

Now THAT is desperation.

I've played a couple of games already and you may well be right, 10-3. :o

Weeman27bob – DM R – 23yo – England

\0/ Thanks very much for putting me in the team Spav!

I'm disappointed at not being put into the team - though admittedly, I've only been lurking for the past few weeks.

Why does everyone think I'm a left back? Though you are quite close to my age, I like it. Quality stuff.

Great story, this. I'm loving the rustic, down-to-earth activities of copperhorse, fixing fences and the like. KUTGW

\0/ Thanks very much for putting me in the team Spav!

No worries. I fixed up that extra 'e' in your username too. I must learn to read things a lot closer.

By the way there's still a few places left on the reserves roster, but I'll decide who gets them as the story progresses.

CopperHorse had to admit that it felt good to get away from the troubles in Volos for a few days. He and Tenthreeleader had basically deserted the EAK Volou stadium and taken off with their eighteen newly-signed players for Olympiakos Volou’s three-match pre-season tour of Turkey. Copper had not had any luck convincing the highly sceptical locals that they should return to supporting their club – indeed, not one season ticket had been sold so far.

However there were more pressing matters at hand at the moment. He and his newly appointed first team manager Tenthreeleader had to mould these eighteen strangers into a soccer team and he basically had no idea how they could do that. Luckily Tenthree’s organisational abilities seemed to be covering most of the issues that cropped up, short of actually being able to coach a soccer team anyway.

After the team’s flight from Athens to Istanbul there was a two-hour coach trip to Darica for the first match against Darica Genclerbirligi. It was the first time that Copper had just had himself, Tenthreeleader and the players alone together (apart from the coach-driver of course). He felt that it was time to welcome the newcomers and give them a pep-talk, so he stood up at the front of the coach and whistled loudly to get everyone’s attention.

“Fellas, I just want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for taking up this here challenge that has beset me and I want to let you all know that I am honoured to be the new owner of Olympiakos Volou and to have you here as my playing staff. It’s gonna be a mighty tough season, but I reckon we can succeed if we all work to help each other out. Now, does anyone have a question?”

A hand shot up from midway down the coach.

“What’s your name, buddy?” said Copper.

“Mark Wilson27”, came the reply.

“And what’s your question?”

“Who are you?”

Copper bought his right hand up to his forehead in exasperation. Maybe this was going to be more difficult than he had thought.

*** *** ***

Luckily Tenthreeleader had stepped up and taken control of the situation before CopperHorse had lost his temper. He quickly introduced Copper and himself to the players and he had each of them stand up briefly and state who they were and where they were from. After that Tenthree decided to announce the starting lineup for the upcoming match.

“I’ve seen some of you training already, but the rest of you all are just newcomers so I haven’t had a chance to evaluate you yet. We have us three games here in Turkey, so everyone will get themselves some playing time and the chance to stake a claim for a starting place in the first official Greek Cup match in two weeks time”.

Tenthree paused for a moment to unfold a piece of paper and read it before going on.

“We’ll start with Flipstyle in goal. The back four will be SCIAG and JimT in the centre with Faramir and Flipsix3 in the full-back positions. The four-man midfield will be Sherm, Mark Wilson27, Spav and Kewell08. Finally up front will be Chesterfan2 and yours truly”.

A hand was raised in the centre of the coach. It was Mark Wilson27 again.

“Yes, Mark, what is your question this time?”

“Gaffer, you got us all to introduce ourselves and I listened real carefully to everyone’s name”.

“Right…”

“So which one of the fellas is ‘yours truly’ then?”

Tenthree let out a soft groan. Now it was his turn to bring his right hand up to his forehead in exasperation.

Note to self: do not drink beer while reading this story. It will come out my nose.

There was a strange atmosphere of uncertainty in the Darica stadium before the match kicked off. The local Turkish fans knew that a Greek club had been scheduled to visit them and they had prepared themselves to hurl abuse (and anything else they could lay their hands on) at their historically hated rivals. However a day or two before the match word had filtered through that although this was a Greek team in name, not one actual Greek was going to be in the visiting party. Still, it mattered little – there was definitely some chest-beating to be done and a Greek flag or two to be burnt to liven up the occasion.

*** *** ***

As the team got changed CopperHorse called Tenthreeleader to one side.

“What’s this here all about naming yourself as a starting player?” asked Copper.

“I played me some soccer in high school and I was mighty handy if I do say so myself”, replied Tenthree.

“I didn’t know that”, said Copper.

“That’s not all you don’t know – take a look at this here”, responded Tenthree as he handed the official team-sheet to Copper.

“Hell, I’m listed as one of the substitutes”.

Tenthree picked up the number seventeen jersey and handed it to Copper.

“If this club is gonna succeed, then you’ve gotta play your part on the pitch as well as off it”.

*** *** ***

27/07 – Darica Genclerbirligi (A) – Friendly

GK – Flipstyle (sub 55 BobBev)

DR – Faramir (sub 55 PaulHartman71)

DC – SCIAG

DC – JimT (sub 64 CopperHorse21)

DL – Flipsix3

MR – Sherm (sub 64 Amaroq)

MC – Spav

MC – Mark Wilson27 (sub 64 Okkas)

ML – Kewell08

SC – Tenthreeleader (sub 64 Terk)

SC – Chesterfan2 (sub 55 Balthazars)

The game started at a casual pace and Chesterfan2 had the first shot at goal for Olympiakos after 6 minutes when he fired wide from Kewell08’s pass. Spav picked up the season’s first yellow card for a foul on Serkan after 9 minutes as he attempted to stamp his authority on the midfield. After 13 minutes Flipsix3 overlapped well and sent a hopeful cross into the middle. Chesterfan2 challenged the keeper Dursun and the keeper’s poor punch saw the ball land at the feet of Sherm who thrashed it into the Darica net to give Olympiakos a 1-0 lead. At the other end goalie Flipstyle was called into the action as saved well from Zekai and Fuat in the 26th and 28th minutes respectively. Olympiakos’s best chance to double their lead came in the 38th minute as a pinpoint cross from Kewell08 found Tenthreeleader, but the player-manager headed the ball wildly over the crossbar.

Copper was stoked at half-time as his cobbled together team lead 1-0 in the first match of his ownership. “Great work there, fellas”, he said in the change-rooms at the break. “If old Tenthree didn’t have himself a head like a biscuit tin we might have even been 2-0 up”.

The second half began with Mark Wilson27 striking a free-kick inches wide of the post after 50 minutes and that was followed by an effort from Sherm who watched his twenty-yard shot tipped over the crossbar by the keeper Dursun. After 55 minutes it was time for some changes as Bobbev replaced the impressive Flipstyle in goal whilst PaulHartman71 came on for Faramir and Balthazars replaced the tiring Chesterfan2. After 64 minutes it was time for some further substitutions as Okkas came on for Mark Wilson27, Terk replaced Tenthreeleader and Amaroq replaced the goalscorer Sherm. JimT put his hand up and said that he needed a break as well, so there was nothing that CopperHorse21 could do but bring himself on as well. Ilker tested BobBev with a free-kick after 70 minutes, but the new man held it well. Up the other end a Kewell08 free-kick in the 77th minute found Amaroq, but his diving header was well palmed away by Dursun. Just as it looked like Olympiakos might take the win Fuat popped up in the 88th minute with a jinking run past SCIAG and PaulHartman71 followed by a shot from twenty yards that crashed in off the crossbar giving BobBev no chance. The game ended as a 1-1 draw a few minutes later.

Darica Genclerbirligi (0)1 Fuat 88

Olympiakos Volou (1)1 Sherm 13

“Goddam, I’m pooped”, said Copper as he flung himself down on a bench after his thirty minute spell on the pitch, “but I’m mighty proud to have been out there with you boys today. Them Darica fellas was a tad lucky with that equaliser or else we’d have won ourselves that match”. Looking around the tired bodies slumped throughout the change-room Copper spied Sherm sitting in the corner. “Hey there, Sherm, you just won yourself a $500 bonus as the team’s first goal scorer of this here season”, he announced. There was a tired cheer from the players. “The drinks are on Sherm”, yelled SCIAG. A louder cheer followed that declaration.

great story mate.

Seems like I had a decent game

This is fantastic stuff, keep it up!

“What’s your name, buddy?” said Copper.

“Mark Wilson27”, came the reply.

“And what’s your question?”

“Who are you?”

Copper bought his right hand up to his forehead in exasperation. Maybe this was going to be more difficult than he had thought.

Good to see I'm making friends with the manager lol

No worries. I fixed up that extra 'e' in your username too. I must learn to read things a lot closer.

It's me who should be typing them better. My username is meant to be weeman27bob with 2 e's but i've only just noticed it had three!

I need to change my location. "Head like a biscuit tin" seems to fit me.

the tiring Chesterfan2.

Sad how art replicates life, eh ?