The seven deadly sins (Short)

I am not a religious man, I really don’t care about religion one way or though, but I am also not ignorant to what it means for some, so I keep my thoughts to myself just like I wish some others could do on the religious side.

However, everyone has a point of view and it was brought to my attention after a discussion that I had broken the seven deadly sins in my time at Millwall, it was meant as a joke, but in reflection with the way of the world and how things are seen it was no surprise that my time at Millwall ended abruptly, in hindsight of course.

It’s now a few years on since I have left the Lions, but I thought I would share my story.

1.PRIDE

Pride, the first in pretty much every list, why is it the first, because they say that everything leads on from mortal sin called pride, or superbia in Latin or hubris in Greek.

Speaking of Greek an ancient philosopher once said this:

Now the man is thought to be proud who thinks himself worthy of great things, being worthy of them; for he who does so beyond his deserts is a fool, but no virtuous man is foolish or silly. The proud man, then, is the man we have described. For he who is worthy of little and thinks himself worthy of little is temperate, but not proud; for pride implies greatness, as beauty implies a good sized body, and little people may be neat and well-proportioned but cannot be beautiful.

What I took out of this is that my intentions were good, but somewhere they got warped, yes I should have been proud, but when then it went beyond that, that’s when it went from a virtuous pride to the sin we are now talking about.

I was an assistant at Millwall to Kenny Jackett, Kenny had brought me into the club last year and we had an okay season, we battled to 16th spot in the Championship which wasn’t bad considering the talent we had.

Kenny was a good manager, well respected at the club and he was in to his 5th year and there for one of the longest serving here at the Den.

When I was summoned to the chairman’s office for a meeting on the 13th of July 2012 it wasn’t what I had expected.

John (Berylson, the Chairman) was seated alongside Andy (Ambler, Managing Director) and Kenny, the mood was pretty sombre, the reason was made apparent, Kenny was stepping down due to family reasons and needed to take a sabbatical.

They wanted me to become interim manager.

All the different emotions go through you, can I do the job, what if I screw up, whats now expected of me etc, etc, this was probably my first mistake, these thoughts crossing my mind before I had even asked Kenny if he was okay and if there was anything I could do.

Thankfully, I asked that first before answering the question and Kenny thought maybe 3-6 months and he would be fine.

With the bad business out of the way we talked terms and I accepted the role with a sense of pride that they had come to me first.

This was the healthy pride, I am not sure when it turned, but it was soon after my appointment, when I felt the weight of expectations and the disappointment of answers that go to my way of thinking.

When you are a manager it changes everything, it changes how you think, as an assistant I made some decisions, gave my thoughts on others, I helped train, appraised players did the usual thing, the pressure is there but it’s a background sort of thing,

To use an analogy it would be like carrying a backpack of rocks around, not to heavy, just enough to know that it’s there.

As a manager it’s like carrying a bigger back pack of rocks, plus one on each arm as every decision seems to way you down, then when you get advice from people and it seems stupid and you blow them off the weight becomes heavier.

I’m not going to name names, but I felt when I asked questions to certain people at the club, I kept getting back stupid answers, but it was probably not stupid it was just that I did not want to hear it.

So then you think well I am going to have do it on my own, can I do it? The self esteem takes a bit of a hit so you overcompensate, you tell yourself “Of course you can do it, they believed in you, believe in yourself, you can do anything, who cares what blah thinks, he’s a tool, do it yourself because you can”

See it’s easy for that virtuous pride to change.

It did for me, I felt that sense of ownership, I felt that I deserved the position, in a week of doing the job I forgot that I was just an interim manager.

Pride before the fall.

Something different, looks intriguing Panpardus. Will be following.

Enjoying this already Pan, looking forward to more.

2. Greed

So from Pride, I found myself at Greed’s doorstep, I did not wait for the door to be opened either; I kicked it in and walked right through.

A remake of movie makes me think about Greed, Wall Street is the movie and a famous line in the movie was thus:

"Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind."

That’s what I thought more or less, you have to want to succeed, you have to take the bull by the horns, you have to go after your hopes your dreams and get what you deserve.

How do you achieve these goals, well in Football you get the right players, the ones you want, you stamp your name, you define the team.

Right....right?

Wrong.

I was here when we made decisions as a team when Kenny was manager, we went out in the off season and got the players that we thought we needed, sure I didn’t agree with them all, but we got quite a few players in and we agreed that with what we had it should be sufficient to see us achieve our goals

Mark Beevers from Sheffield Wednesday, Martyn Woolford from Bristol City, Danny Shittu from QPR, Karleigh Osborne from Brentford, Scott Malone from Bournemouth and Chris Taylor from Oldham were all new players we signed to the club.

In those we had 3 who could play centre back and 3 who could play left midfield.

We also brought in Jermaine Easter from Crystal Palace, Rob Hulse from QPR and Nathan Tyson from Notts Forest, 3 strikers and another who could play left midfield if needed and they was here for a year on loan as was Richard Chaplow a midfielder from Southampton and Adam Smith a fullback from Tottenham, it was a decent squad and one I didn’t really have to add to.

But I did, my pride had gotten to me, I deserved to put my footprint on the side so I went out and spent, it was greed that had now gotten me, I didn’t need any more in the squad, it was full, everyone knew we had a big squad, even me, but I wanted more.

The reasons as I look back on it now were purely selfish, I listened to agents, got them to trial and signed them, there was no team decision, I didn’t even ask for a scouting report, they trialled, they were decent, I signed them.

What did my greed accomplish? Well it destabilised the squad to such a point where no one could build confidence in getting time on the pitch and so we suffered for it with that lack of team cohesion.

While there is many examples here is a couple, Chris Taylor was given a chance to play in his left wing role, it really should have been his anyway but instead of fighting with one player he had to duke it out with many, this made him try even harder to do something special.

When he received two straight reds in his games because he was trying to follow team orders, be aggressive, press hard, win the back early what did he get from this?

Well two fines, a beat up in the press from me and an extended time in the reserves.

Sure he made a few mistakes but it was me who was the catalyst.

It also had follow on effects where N’Guessan then came back to the left from playing in the advanced midfield role where he was doing well scoring and setting up goals.

That gave me the opportunity to play Shinnie there and while he was good he didn’t have the effect that Dany had, even when Taylor and Ayoze was fit, Dany lost out by sitting on the bench.

You don’t think of these things, but this is the sort of problems that Greed can create.

3. Gluttony

Well the logical step after greed is of course gluttony.

I had gulped down, swallowed, I had over-indulged and over-consumed that which was football players and it didn’t stop there!

We had 26 maybe more players in the squad already, all the positions were covered with at least one spare player and then we had youth players who we could have covered positions if needed.

In goals we had David Forde (#1), Maik Taylor and Steve Mildenhall

Fullbacks we had Adam Smith and Karleigh Osborne who could play right, Scott Malone, Shane Lowry could play left with Jack Smith who could play either.

In the centre of defence we had a multitude of options, Shittu, Beevers, Osborne were all good options in the centre, as was Shane Lowry, Tamika Mkandawire and Paul Robinson. Paul was long term injured though.

Wingers we had in abundance, Liam Feeney(LR), Dany N’Guessan(LR), Martyn Woolford(L), James Henry®, Chris Taylor(LR), Shaun Batt® and Nathan Tyson(L).

We also looked good in the centre of midfield, Liam Trotter and Nadjim Abdou were two very very good players, plus we had Richard Chaplow a very good up and coming midfielder, Josh Wright and Martyn Woolford who could also cover.

Up front we had Jermaine Easter, Rob Hulse, Nathan Tyson, Andrew Keogh, John Marquis, every one of those players would have claims to a start.

When you look at that squad you have to think hey that’s not bad, we should be able to achieve our goals with that squad, were expected to finish 19th, but I thought mid table.

In all honesty, we already had too many players and would have to look to offload a few, so why in hells name did I bring in 3 players who we already had plenty of cover for.

Greed, bloody greed is why, Gluttony is now what we have after giving in to said greed.

Who did we bring in, did it make the team better? Apparently not!

Ayoze was my first signing, why I signed him I don’t know, maybe it was just that I wanted to have someone in the team that was purely my decision.

Ayoze was a 26 year old left winger, yes that’s right a left winger, a position in which we already had 4 other people who could play the position, sure he was better than most, but why I signed him I don’t know.

His agent showed up with his tape, said he was looking to move to this part of England, he looked the goods, got him on a weeks trial and then signed him.

Stupid.

My second signing was no better, Andrew Shinnie joined us from Inverness CT in the SPL for 425K, I already had two very good midfielders and I only was planning on having 2 central midfielders anyway and I had good back up in another two players, so it was greed again that got me with Gluttony the result.

Ben Amos was my other signing, a young keeper from Manchester United who I signed because he was from Manchester United. I didn’t really need him, I signed him as a rotation option to put pressure on Forde, but I already had another two keepers in the squad who could back him up.

650K he cost.

The size of the squad swelled, just like a gluttonous man’s belly from over eating and so I had I committed 3 of the Cardinal Sin even before pre-season was finished.

It didn’t end with the players though as I signed another physio and a coach that we didn’t really need, the waste very excessive.

4. Sloth

He looks about anxiously this way and that, and sighs that none of the brethren come to see him, and often goes in and out of his cell, and frequently gazes up at the sun, as if it was too slow in setting, and so a kind of unreasonable confusion of mind takes possession of him like some foul darkness.

Many think Sloth refers solely to laziness, but Sloth is not pure laziness, Sloth can have many forms and it took one of those other forms for me at Millwall.

I was never physically lazy, I was pro-active, turning up to training, talking to the players, looking at everything, but this wasn’t enough to put distance between myself and the sin, perhaps it was my unwillingness to move on to other tactics that caused me commit the sin of Sloth.

The Philokalia uses the word dejection instead of sloth, for a person who falls into dejection will lose interest in life, I became dejected, emotionally I was spent, the tole of being down the bottom of the tables and not being able to get consistent results did it for me.

Acedia is defined by the Oxford Concise Dictionary of the Christian Church as ‘a state of restlessness and inability either to work or to pray’

Sloth has also been defined as a failure to utilize ones talents or gifts, or to do things that one should, a popular saying is: evil exists when good men fail to act.

So how did I fail to act?

Well it all started so well, which lead to my pride swelling more; I received the accolades of the fans with the fantastic pre-season and how much sharper we looked they also praised my signings, sometimes the sin of greed is shared by a collective it seems.

But alas! It was only the pre-season as we took wins over QPR, Preston, Dartford an AC Ajaccio is convincing fashion, only to be beaten once and that was somewhat unlucky as we lost to Gladbach in a Friendly Cup Final.

The season proper was something different, we beat AFC Wimbledon convincingly in the league cup before conceding a very late goal at home to Watford to draw our first game of the season and from there it got worse.

4 bad losses in a row seen us hit the floor of the Championship with a resounding thud, but still I had faith as I tinkered with a diamond formation to just be slightly less attacking and it proved to the masterstroke as we beat a high flying Brighton 2-0 at home followed by a fantastic 2-1 away win over Birmingham.

The roller coaster started then we won well at home and badly away, it was never me though, it was always the players, my failure to act was indicative of what was happening.

I threw my hands in the air and laid the blame at the feat of the players, my rage spilled out, why couldn’t we put my game plan into fruition on the road, it had me baffled, so I persisted, even though we would take the lead early and get over run, well not over run is too nice a word, we were smashed would be more fitting, I still persisted, I did not change that attacking mentality.

Which brings me to another famous quote:

An insane sinner, what a combination!

The pressure did come externally, in the end the buck always stops with the manager and I had my first taste of it in November as the press, fans and board were all disappointed with my management skills.

There were even whispers in the changing rooms that the players had lost confidence in my abilities.

Still I failed to act, my strength had always been tactical, the ability to get the best out of a team and its players, but for some reason I would just not change, my way was right, it was not my fault.

My inability to change the tactics when needed seen me succumb to the sin of Sloth and as the results became worse my dejection became apparent, which led me on the downward spiral.

Sloth had taken me.

5. Lust

Being a single man, Lust is fairly apparent in my life outside of football and I am sure all the true Christians will praying for me to join hell quickly, especially if those same Christians happen to be Millwall supporters!!

Lust, it’s a hard one to apply in a football sense and even after a few years of being away from the football club I find it hard to put into context, but I would not be able to call this small paper the Seven Deadly sins after all if I did not include it.

So this shall be brief.

My lust was mainly a lust for power, when the vultures were circling there was many rumours that I my position was up for grabs and Kenny was bound to make a return soon and when the rumours run through the training ground that Kenny was back at the club, my lust for power was at its strongest.

I didn’t want to lose this power I had, I wanted to reinforce it, but how to do it?

I pleaded with the players, I lied I told them what I thought they wanted to hear, I boosted their ego’s and hey it worked.

We towelled up the top placed Burnley 3-1 at home in devastating fashion and my lustful thoughts were rewarded two fold.

First the board were very happy with the win and our rise up the league, well we had moved to 17th I think at that stage! Still we were above where we were picked.

Secondly, Kenny Jackett had been to the club, but he was moving to Scotland permanently to look after family and in doing so he was asking to be released so he could take on a job with Hibs.

My lust had been rewarded in the short term, but looking back my lust for complete power had taken over, I would have stopped at nothing to stay in control of the team and in the end it hadn’t worked.

6. Envy

Envy, well I am guilty of that, still am, but more so back then at the Den though especially through another bad trot of form.

We lost to Crystal Palace away after being 3-1 up, Palace scored 3 goals in 6 minutes to take the score from in our favour to me doing my absolute nut on the sidelines.

The trouble was that we had to play 3 away games in a row and we lost them all, Leicester 3-1 and then an absolute spanking at the hands of Nottingham Forest as they thrashed us 4 zip.

My press conference was glowing for their strikers, I only wish I could have talent like that at our club, their manager must be overjoyed to have such good players.

Oh, what an idiot I was, not only did it build them up, but it ripped our players down, Rob Pulse was having a good season despite us playing so badly and he was third in the scoring tables with around 13 goals.

I praised Craig Bellamy in our win over Cardiff at home as we increased our home form to 7th best in the league, the away form continued to fall away though as we lost to Bristol City after being one up for 70 minutes and then we lost Watford 3-0, they had 4 shots on goal in that game, we had 12.

Envious I was, that others could have what I could not, I intensely craved the away form I felt we deserved, I wanted the other teams players instead of our own, even when we did play well and win it was their players I praised not ours.

7. Wrath

The players felt my wrath as I gave better than the famous Fergy hairdryers, my aggressiveness in the changing rooms after the two losses is still talked about, as is many of the talks that I had with the players towards the end of my time at the club.

Even thejourno’s felt my wrath as I stormed out of a press conference citing stupid questions will not be dignified with an answer.

Looking back at my time with Millwall, I was always quick to blame others and administer my own justice with a verbal barrage.

I think in the 6 losses that we had I was either flying off the handle aggressively or assertively telling them that they were shlthouse, which means basically six of one, half dozen of the other.

The full weight of my wrath was reserved on my last day and then a press conference a bit after my time at the club.

Boxing day it was, when I was called to the boardroom to see John.

I hadn’t even realised he was in London, so it was a bit of a shock, but I just put it down to him wishing us a merry Christmas and asking a few questions as he likes to do on occasion.

It quickly sank in though when he sat me down, it was then I knew the words were coming and I can remember them to this day.

“I’m sorry to do this to you, but in the best interests of the club I am going to have to let you go. We need to time to bed down a new coach and we feel this is the best opportunity to give someone the reigns so they can assess the squad and make some changes if necessary.

We appreciate all you have done and again I’m sorry it’s come to this, but I need to protect the club, it was a hard decision, but one that had to be made”

Even though I knew it was coming when he sat me down, I was still surprised to hear the words, the surprise soon went to justification as I explained the situation and that we had played an extra three away games and with even 5 points out of the three home games it would see us up to 17th from 21st.

John just sat there calmy, repeating he was sorry but it was something that the club had to do.

My barrage of insults that came after wards is not something I am proud off and I have since apologised for so I am glad my last words to the club chairman was not “F**K you”

I joined Livorno in Italy after I was dismissed from Millwall and I still managed to have a parting shot at the Lions then when I was asked if I thought I was unfairly dismissed.

My Wrath had not simmered with time it seemed but the warning from Aldo Spinelli about my future conduct was enough for me to pull my head in.

The Seven Deadly Sins

I think now I can look back and laugh and I have grown since then, sure I still lose my cool now and again but I know to look in the mirror first and try and find the answers before I look to blame others.

The rest of the season with Livorno was just as bad as Millwall for results but I am happy with how much more proactive I was and it has made me a better manager.

For the record when I left Millwall we were in 21st position with 7 wins, 3 draws and 14 losses for a total of 24 points.

Above us though was only separated by a few points and a few good results in the home game could have seen us to 17th.

In retrospect though Millwall made the right decision, I was not the right man for the job, the right man for the job was Gus Poyet who immediately led them up the table and finished in 9th place.

Not too bad, but his second season was better, getting Millwall into third before losing to Swansea who went on to beat Wolves to be back in the top flight.

My hat goes off to Gus, he has done a splendid job where I could not.

As for me, I am happy where I am at and maybe later I will write something, but I want the next story to be positive.

My final message is to even though you think you are holding yourself to the highest ideals, take the time to judge yourself as a peer would and then maybe you won’t commit the seven deadly sins.

Regards,

Matt Mitsakis

Millwall Manager (14.7.2012 – 24.12.2012)

Brilliant short story Pan, hopefully this will be the first of many from you

Yes, I liked this story a lot, Pan, good work fella !

Thanks for all the comments.

I might try and do something with the save, I have played a few seasons on and have taken notes here and there so I'll see if I can come up with anything, it's a busy time at work now though, just been stores again to try and fix this one ready for the toy sale we have over here in Aus.

A very good effort based on an excellent theme for a short story, Pan.