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teoememy

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About teoememy

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  1. Introduction In a galaxy far far away....(In the year 2015) The fastest man on the planet, Usain Bolt, sits outside on his porch while browsing online newspapers. Daily Mail, The Sun and The Guardian are the first that comes to mind. It's a sunny day outside Kingston, symbolic of Bolts optimistic nature and current mood. His smile quickly fades as he scrolls down. Bolt had been on a trial with Manchester United the past week and he was more than pleased by his own performance. He might not have scored any goals, or given any assists, or dribbled past anyone with the ball, but his pace up and down the wing without the ball was unmatched! All the newspapers claimed that Bolts trial for Manchester United had been a blatant PR stunt and that they had no real intention of signing him. Bolt gave a call to his agent, asking if it was all true, did they not take him seriously as a footballer? His agent tried to get his mind on other tasks, reminding him that he had to defend his tittle as the worlds fastest man. Bolt didn't care for it, football was his true passion and if he couldn't play, he would have to manage. The Jamaican football team was having a mediocre start to the WC qualification. Bolt, having a lot of power in Jamaica, saw his opportunity and got in touch with Horace Burrell (President of the Jamaican Football Federation). He shared his idea of becoming the new manager of Jamaica in the most nonchalant way anyone could imagine. Burrell quickly dismissed the idea as ludicrous, Bolt couldn't just expect to gain that job simply because of his accomplishments as a sprinter. Rather than continuing to make a case for himself, Bolt reminded him of the CONCAF scandal Burrell had been involved in back in 2011. What about it, said Burrell. Well, I just happen to have received some new information that will make Sepp Blatter look like a saint compared to you, Bolt said confidently. Burrell went silent, what Bolt said could easily be true, which was something he could not afford. Burrell kept his head calm and figured out how to solve this. He said; "Okay, listen. I can't make you the manager of Jamaica, but hear me out! If you can find a merited national manager to work alongside you, I can hire the both of you. What do you say?" In a country far far away (from Jamaica), retired Norwegian football manager Egil "Drillo" Olsen is watching his daughter perform in the Cheerleading WC qualification. He receives a call from a number that is unknown to him, he is instantly annoyed and assumes that it is a national newspaper hoping for a comment on anything football related that he couldn't give a **** about. He picks up his phone and answers it with a single, angry grunt. From there on, the conversation went a little bit like this: Bolt: "What did you say? the reception must be bad up there in the north. This is Usain Bolt, the sprinter, I'm crossing my fingers that the name rings a bell" Drillo: "I know who you are, but how do you know me?" Bolt: "I might not know you, but I know your daughter from when I visited Norway to take part in the Bislett Games. She said that you were quite successful with the Norwegian national team back in the day? Drillo:" Yes, that is true. Now what is this about you and my dau....." Bolt: "Sorry to interrupt, this is urgent. I would like to invite you to Jamaica, we have a meeting with the Jamaican Football Federation. My assistant have your details and will arrange everything on your behalf" Drillo: "You sure move fast" Bolt: "BA DUM TSS!"
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