WESTERLANDS – A STORY OF HOPE

[phnompenhandy]

Westerlands AFC are an amateur University of Glasgow Alumni Club founded in 1967 and bumble about in the lower reaches of the Caledonian Amateur League Division 2, the 13^th tier of Scottish football pyramid.

In 2023 a revolutionary new board changed their name to Westerlands Asylum-Seekers FC. I should explain the background to this: the incoming UK Labour government is establishing a well-funded community for successfully-processed asylum-seekers in Maryhill, Glasgow. With Germany deemed most enlightened nation re. settling asylum-seekers, the UN, UK government and SFA together with the former board picked a team of Germans to run the club. Working closely with the UNHCR, scouts have been dispatched to refugee camps around the world to seek out suitable youths. Any youth players our network brings to the club will get visas for their families and be granted second nationality as Scottish. Only one youth and family per country-of-origin is permitted to be in the squad at one time.

Being an amateur club, we can’t hang on to any players who wish to leave for another club, and we can’t improve them at our club. However, the board has agreed to affiliate with Queen’s Park, and are in negotiations with the government and SFA to gain special access to a new national training complex when it’s completed in some six years or so. An aspect of the new Labour government’s intention to persuade Scottish voters that Labour is looking out for them, it has announced plans to develop a top-class SFA training complex at Hampden. Work is scheduled to start in 2026.

In readiness for the start of the 2023-24 season, a squad of 22 young refugees, most of whom speak little English, have arrived along with a raw new manager, Andy McNessie.

Edited November 6, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Fourth-wall breaker second post:

My last save was proving unchallenging – I could see annual promotions for many seasons. I’m restarting with a far trickier save – in my holiday test we got one promotion in 4 seasons. The secret is staying strictly amateur for a good length of time and thereby losing any promising players. Let’s see if I can make this one a proper struggle this time.

first draft of playing squad in FM23 pre-game editor

five of these didn't load up in my first test run, so the final version has a few different names - but same CAs.

And here are my manager attributes

Here's a map of part of Glasgow, showing the route to Hampden - might become relevant if we survive into the 2030s!

And finally, this is the actual pitch

I now need to faff about with facepacks and get the real logo done before I start the real save. The posts this time will focus more on the players and their attributes.

 

 

Edited November 5, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

The football club is an exciting new venture, already attracting a cult following on social media, but the hope embedded in the club's vision doesn't extend to the manager, who was brought in owing to his commitment to the vision rather than for his talents. So hopeless does the board regard me, that I'm only permitted to pick the team and tactics. Further responsibilities will be gradually accorded, based on qualifications and success. Davina, the Director of Football communicated the board's standards as follows:

When I get my first badge, SFA Adult Coaching Certificate, I’m assured I can take general team training (i.e. use the General schedules and Match Prep only). After the second badge (Adult Coaching Award), I’ll be let loose on team training however I like, assuming our coaching staff have the appropriate skills. With the third badge (Adult Coaching Licence), I’m in charge of the youth/reserves general team training. With the fourth badge (UEFA B Licence), I can set individual training. Once I've been at a club at least a full year AND have 3+ badges AND a promotion, I get a say in staff appointments, including junior coaching and youth recruitment. We'll almost certainly still be an amateur club, unable to offer contracts to players or improve facilities at the club.

Mind you, the board might be wary of trusting me, but they're utterly inexperienced too - they're mostly UN administrators with scant knowledge of the game. We're all learning on the hoof, or making it up as we go along, depending on your perspective. A salient example is that whereas the local media and social media have us favourites to finish bottom of the league, the board expects us to win promotion from it. It would be funny if it wasn't my job and reputation on the line. Talking of the local media, I'm assuming they know what they're writing about; we on the other hand have an entire staff and squad with zero experience of the league, and no local scouts to give me any information about any opponent. The board really hasn't thought this through.

Edited November 5, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Here are the staff - unlike the kids, they are all decent English-speakers.

And here is the full squad (before I've had a chance to introduce myself):

We'll get to know them better later. For now, the Indian is Kashmiri and the Iranian a Kurd.

Edited November 5, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[parsdaft1982]

I will be keeping up to date wi this one mate.

 

I actually have the kids 1.1 and 1.2, may reflect that with my FM profile lol

[phnompenhandy]

21 minutes ago, parsdaft1982 said:

I will be keeping up to date wi this one mate.

 

I actually have the kids 1.1 and 1.2, may reflect that with my FM profile lol

Cheers   I scoured the FM23 pregame editor, reduced CA for them (so they're not really the same players) and used the wonderful  UltraRealistic NewGan Face CutOuts by RnR & FM.Z_ facepack to give the ones sortitoutsi don't have, faces.

[phnompenhandy]

I won't post the profiles of all 22 players, but I'll share three examples so you can get an idea of what Level 13 amateur players look like.

A common pattern I picked up in the first training session is that a lot of the Africans are very short and frail-looking, but fast.

Gaylor, from DR Congo,  can play either wing or as a striker. He can barely last 60 minutes though, which is a problem as half the squad are the same and I won't be able to substitute them all when preseason is over.

Abdallah from Sudan can fly up the wing but will stumble into touch if a gust blows the wrong way. Generally at this level, technical skills are hard to come by - opponents will lack them too, but they will have more brawn.

 

And Chan was a schoolboy democracy activist in Hong Kong. Here he is presenting himself as a 5'7" centre back.

Edited November 5, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

What the bookies, hacks, social media commentators and everyone who knows anything thinks:

What the board, supporters and the squad of kids who've just arrived in a strange town and greeted me with the complaint that I wasn't showing enough ambition by targeting promotion think:

The first preseason friendlies are imminent, but after a couple of training sessions, I've sat down and used my considerable learning from YouTube, The Athletic, Inverting the Pyramid, Football Manager and anything else you care to name and planned out a formation with roles and duties that looks damn good on paper. The thing about coaching young kids at this level is that they're open to anything, and with no skills of note to work around, you have pretty much a blank sheet of paper to work on. Tactics, not skills will give us the edge here; brains (mine) not brawn will win the day. Having said that, a couple of bad results could leave confidence shot to pieces, and I don't have the soft skills to deal with that. Mind you, that's where a bevy of attractive German staff might come up trumps. We'll see.

First tactical plan - defender in numbers, counter, hit the flanks

We've arranged nine friendlies, all on our turf. There are no teams below us to get easy morale-boosting wins over, and half are rivals in our league that I hope to learn something from before we meet them competitively.  I don't see the benefit in Davina organising matches against sides from higher tiers, but i don't have the authority to speak up yet.

Edited November 5, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[parsdaft1982]

No being funny, but it actually looks like a real team and players!! All the best matey, you may even reach the dizzy heights of the SPFL lol

[phnompenhandy]

5 hours ago, parsdaft1982 said:

No being funny, but it actually looks like a real team and players!! All the best matey, you may even reach the dizzy heights of the SPFL lol

This newgen pack is stunning for sure. I've tried many times to create a tough challenge whereby it's possible but really hard to rise up the pyramid, but every time I abandon it because it's too easy. I think the problem was I'd find a way to keep the kids I became attached to, so this time the mission is anyone who wants to better themselves elsewhere is free to leave. That ought to make progress as far as the SPFL impossible - but we'll see. I'm more curious to see where we'll be when the state-of-the-art training complex is ready - how much will that impact the club, which ought to still have crap players at that point. It is about 6-8 years away though, so I'll probably not get that far.

[phnompenhandy]

PRESEASON

My managerial debut – along with all the staff and players came in a friendly against local Division 2 rivals Bearsden. Twenty-two unfit players took a long time to get going, but in time I could see my choice of tactic was paying off. Afghani Fareed Sadat, whose family had a hell of a time evading first the Taliban and then the Pakistani police to reach a UN camp, converted a cross from inverted left winger Ghazi Abu Bakr. Between him on the right and Phone, our Burmese right attacking full-back, we were getting decent crosses in. Palestinian substitute inside right Adawi also got on the scoresheet.  Other than that, the quality was absent, but the fight was there – although not really a positive when it comes to our Kashmiri midfield destroyer Yusuf, who’s timing in the tackle is way off. The 2-2 result was fair if unimportant – the key point was that I saw positives, potential – enough to be optimistic about. On a side note, I’m a bit miffed that they all seem to regard my assistant Katherina, who takes the bi-weekly training, as responsible for the tactics – I’m getting no acknowledgement at all. It’s even her they’re watching as I give the team talks. I mean, I’ve quickly recognised that she’s indispensable, but I am the actual manager, right?

Shadow Striker Sadat

Inside forward Adawi

The face, mouth, presence while I'm ghosted  :-(

Edited November 6, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

The next game was also a 2-2 draw with our goals coming from the same sources – the flanks. We won the third 2-1 with both our goals coming from the shadow striker position. The goals we concede are nearly always due to the lack of height in defence. From then on, we bagged a string of victories. We didn’t manage to keep a clean sheet, but in every game we scored two or three goals. Nearly all the goals come from the attacking midfield trio, with the two poachers contributing next to nothing. The trouble is they have no strength, stamina or passing skills and so are very limited. I tried them on an Attacking Forward role instead. It made no difference.

We completed the preseason undefeated, with the tenth and final game bringing us our first clean sheet. In the training sessions, some of the lads are taking the proverbial out of Katharina – she’s far too soft; I feel my preseason record gives me the clout to have some firm words now.  Ten games were enough to get everyone fully match fit and for us to reassess the squad.  The starting XI here is our decision to take into the league season. As I mentioned earlier, I can’t risk asking any midfielder to be a ‘ball-winner’, my defence is too short, but there’s nothing I can do about that, and the striker position is a complete waste of time – my two forwards don’t even have the gumption to run into spaces and draw out defenders. Nevertheless, the three attacking midfielders, often in conjunction with the fullbacks, create and score plenty. If it ain’t broke … Having said that, what I should have done, but have run out of time now, is trying Sadat as the central forward. Syrian Hani Anjro is our captain.

Hard man (on the inside) and leader, skipper Anjro

In the final days of preseason, we experienced our first poaching. Odd one this – Davina had just appointed an assistant physio on amateur terms and less than a week later, she was off to Beith.

Edited November 6, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

HERE WE GO

Our first competitive match was home to Braehead from Renfrew. We drew 2-2; despite two goals we were quite wasteful, the occasion getting to some of the lads. The goals we conceded were both from headers – more examples of our achilles heel. It was the first of three matches in a week. We nipped down the road to Hamilton to play their Academy’s Former Pupils. That was a much more assured performance as we came back from our first ever away match with a 3-1 victory; goals coming from two crosses and a superb free kick by Martinez. We then hosted Irvine where a hat-trick from Sadat was not enough to secure the points in a belter of a 4-4 draw. We were finally bested 2-3 by Milngavie Wanderers in a match that saw Sadat fracture a rib which will keep him out for six weeks. Without him, we were thoroughly overrun again, at Bearsden where we lost 1-2.

With both strikers now off the mark, it’s become glaringly apparent that neither of our goalkeepers had made a single save of note in 15 matches, except when Traore kept the score down in the game we lost. Another unfixable problem.

After such a promising start, here's where we find ourselves at the end of August and closure of the transfer window:

A scout who did nothing for free for about a month left for another club. 'Don't let the door....'

Edited November 6, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

SEPTEMBER

Morale was restored in the first match of the new month, a resounding 3-0 win over Eaglesham AFC from East Kilbride. It was the first round of the William Turner Challenge Cup, a competition that attracts no gate money (17 fans turned up), has no prize money and risks causing fatigue and injuries in the squad. With one off-target shot all match, I got the distinct impression Eaglesham felt even more strongly about this than I do. Still with the Starting XI gelling so well, and no midweek game, the same team went out to face Tarbolton, sitting 2^nd in the division. Something is clicking – a 3-1 win led by Player of the Match Mushready and a very sound team performance.

the club joker

I had to freshen up the starting line-up for the midweek game at Winterfell. “Winterfell?” I hear you say. Yes, Doune Castle was used as the location for Winterfell (along with a liberal dose of CGI) in Game of Thrones.

The football club was not feeling the romance though; they never gave us an inch and we were lucky to return home with just the 0-1 defeat. We had a chance to put thing right with a trip three days later to Helensburgh where we played Rhu Amateurs, the weakest side in our league and, by extension, Scotland. The lads rose to the occasion and more, coming away with a 6-1 massacre; Chuchu nabbed a goal and an assist, but it was Adawi and Abu Bakr who led the charge. Six of the goals came from assists down the flanks.

The next Saturday we hosted Lochs, who had made the long trip down from the Western Isles to contest the first round of the Amateur Cup. They were a bit (sea)leggy by the time they got to Glasgow and we took advantage, despatching them back home with a 3-0 victory. Palestinian Inside Right Reyad Adawi has risen to the top with his third Player of the Match in his last four starts. We finished off the month with a match against another school, Dalziel High School Former Pupils.  We raced into a 2-0 lead, but fatigue set in and we finished 2-2.

We've climbed four places - that's progress

Edited November 6, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

OCTOBER

October opened with a shocker as we were dumped out of the Amateur Cup 0-4 at Ancrum. Sadat was back for that game but not match fit and as off the pace as everyone else. A week later Irvine dumped us out of the other pot. We drew for a second time, 1-1, but being a cup tie, penalties were taken and we lost out. Personally, I’m happy to be able to focus on the league, but some of the players got it into their heads that the William Turner had our name on it and they’re pretty down.

There were four league matches to negotiate that month. First, we went to Carluke and salvaged a point in a 3-3 draw against Balmore thanks to a Budi Budi (our back-up Congolese winger) brace.

Next, Sadat got back in the swing with a brace as we drew again, 2-2 against Corkerhill. Our trip to Stirling to face table-topping Longlea was not expected to turn our draws into three points. I tweaked a few roles and prepared them to play it cautious, hoping to nick a point. We fought hard, pulling it back from 0-3 down to finish 2-3. Unfortunately, Sadat will be out for another month with a badly twisted ankle.

Our final chance to gain a victory in October was at Tullibody, re-founded this year by Football Manager’s own Mozza. Despite them dominating over 90 minutes, we pulled off a remarkable 5-3 win thanks largely to Adawi again, and Burundian Bienvenue, who has gradually and quietly established himself as a decent striker on his day.

It should be noted that five out of our six matches this month were away; we were undefeated at home. November sees four matches, the first three of which are home games (I’m talking to the board here, and impatient fans, not you – I know you understand).

 A meh month, a good month and a bad month. Time to find some consistency. With cup distractions gone, hopefully I can use the same first team squad and sideline the handful of trouble-makers who don't perform, won't train and react very aggressively when I say anything. First in line is Park, the North Korean - I'm going to see if he can be shifted out in the transfer window. The Somalian defender Abdi came to me to demand more starts - the reason he isn't getting them is that he hasn't put in a single decent performance, same as another defender, Wasif. Our Sri Lankan second striker has similarly failed to put in a single satisfactory performance. Perhaps my biggest disappointment is Anjro, our captain, whose form has fallen off a cliff. I'm happy to be patient with those who mainly need to keep working on their English lessons, but any who undermine my authority and/or fail to put an effort on the training ground will be pointed at the exit door facing a fast-food outlet.

 

The supporters have given me a D. I mean, these boys are perhaps not as grateful for the opportunity they're getting as they should be - and the "supporters" - which ones, exactly? The 28 (average figure for home league matches) who come to see us, or the million on social media, 95% who are outwith Scotland, who lazily click on an online poll?

Edited November 6, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

NOVEMBER

Mustafa Ghazi Abu Bakr, our Iraqi winger broke his arm on the training ground. He’s out for at least nine weeks. Together with Fareed Sadat, that’s two of the three first-choice attacking midfielders who have brought us what little success we’ve had.

For the three home games on the bounce I decided we needed to just attack attack attack and to hell with defence, so I prepared them to take a positive mentality into the matches. That’s exactly what happened against Crosshouse Waverley in our 5-3 victory. Adawi and Bienvenue got a brace each and Budi Budi a hat trick of assists. Taking the pressure off the defence, who didn’t play badly given my instructions, the same side went again against Larkhall Thistle. They were tactically quite astute, saw what we were attempting and closed us down. They beat us 1-4.

The last home game of the month was against Glasgow Harp, preseason favourites but having a disastrous season. For that match I brought back Anjro, tweaking his instructions. He played well – they all played well as we ground out a 2-0 win. The last match, the away tie was at Coatbridge to face Gartcosh United. With Sadat back to his best, we demolished them 3-0. The fans were momentarily pacified, but the pattern is clear to me. We beat the teams below us and lose to the ones above us.  We’re a stereotypical mid-table team. The board demand more.

Well, calm down and be rational - look:

We're up to seventh, which means we should beat most of the teams we face. Now see the upcoming schedule:

Balmore are three points ahead of us, but we're at home. The next five, home or away, are below us. By the time we play Larkhall, we should be above them. We can do this, just have some faith in me. We will require one of the top three to implode - I can't do it all by myself.

Edited November 6, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

DECEMBER

We beat Balmore 2-0. The defence is much improved and kept its third clean sheet in a row, but I need to shout out to David Martinez, our Venezuelan winger who scored for the sixth game in a row! He was inside right understudy to Adawi, but in shuffling things about during the double-injury crisis, Martinez went on the left as an inverted winger and hasn’t looked back. We climb above Balmore to sixth spot, while none of the top three won.

With Abdi just having ceased his grumbling and starting to find some form, he’s gone down with a two-week “flu”. He’s quarantining. The chosen squad went down to face Dalziel Old Boys in Motherwell. We came away with a 4-2 score line, a goal from each of the front four, and goals conceded – all par for the course. As we moved up to fifth, the top three all stumbled again, leaving us only two points off a promotion spot. We play all the top three in March too. We had a setback in Renfrew where we went down 2-3 to Braehead. Our Malian goalkeeper Traore had failed a fitness test, so the out-of-form South Sudanese Mohammad came in. His lack of confidence destabilised the team. Traore will be back for the next fixture. There was one more match in December – on Hogmanay we hosted Hamilton’s Old Boys. Some of the lads had overindulged in what for many was their first Christmas, and Abdi had taken the fortnight break to get over his “cold”. As Clara, our Head (only) Physio prepared to leave us, three players suddenly announced slight “injuries” that would keep them out of the New Year’s match. The unprofessionalism disrupted my preparations severely and we went down at home 1-3. I thought my carefully managed plans were in tatters until I discovered not one of the top eight teams won, so the loss didn’t make much difference really. We’re three points off a promotion spot going into 2023.

Should've been 12 points - lads let us down badly there. Minimum nine points is the target for January.

By no means over though - we're all falling over ourselves to fail.

Edited November 6, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

JANUARY

- the lows and highs of an amateur football manager

2023 opened with us groping our way back with a 1-1 draw at basement-dwelling Crosshouse Waverley. With other sides above us getting back into gear it dropped us to eighth, five points off the pace.  As Park left us for an amateur outfit in Galashiels (with his family, but with no refugee support network in the Borders), a deputation of insolent muppets insisted our situation was all my fault and that I radically overhaul our tactics. I’ll make a few tweaks, but it’s really up to them to show some damn guts. I know who’s behind the revolt even though he didn’t show his face – it’s our useless captain Hani Anjro. He can join Park on the one-way wagon (eventually – he shared DM duties with Park – I can’t lose them both just yet. But, “revenge is a dish best served cold”).  Generally though, I’m clocking that a sense of entitlement seemed to be being inculcated into the minds of a minority of these kids, and I have to somehow find a way to hints to the board that we need to acquire kids with stronger minds. I say ‘board’, with whom I don’t have a relationship because Davina, our Director of Football, has now handed in her notice and will depart at the end of the season, returning to Germany. I suppose it’s Franziska Wildfeur, our Head of Youth Development, I ought to be liaising with, but having received her report of prospects for future youth intake candidates, I was left deeply unimpressed.

I’d targeted a win against Tullibody, and it took a last-gasp scrambled goal by the ever-dependable Martinez to edge the game 3-2. Despite our personal relationship having broken down, I pragmatically restored Anjro to the starting line-up and gave him the armband. After the match, I discovered that the impetuous side of my character, in demanding Davina get rid of him, had led to five bids being quickly received and so he’s going to be gone very soon anyway. I’m going to have to perform patchwork magic in defensive midfield.

The toughest game of the month was always going to be away to Larkhall Thistle. We may be fifth now, but they’re third, in that last promotion spot. I prepared to fight for a draw; a loss would hurt this hard-fought-for morale-based momentum I was struggling to establish.

While we were fully focussed on crises within our club, none of us had picked up any rumours about Larkhall. Something was seriously amiss. We could see it on the faces of the manager and players before kick-off.  Some of their players very obviously did not want to be on the field, particularly down our right flank. Adawi bagged a hattie, all assisted by Admassu as we run riot in a 7-0 slaughter. Sadat and Martinez shared the other goals. What that does, other than gifting us a very healthy goal difference, is move up to third and in a promotion spot for the first time.

I probably ought to take back some of my comments; remarkably, on the day Anjro left us for rivals Tarbolton – another club in this division in the midst of a crisis, the board have delivered me a new youth, eligible to play straight away. He’s a Rohinjya refugee, of Bengali ethnicity but legally unrecognised by Myanmar or Bangladesh. Davina states that they can’t verify for his character, but he’s intended as a defensive midfield replacement for Park.

Seven of our players needing fitness or not in the first team squad played an U18s friendly. I turned up to see new lad Hoque. He had a quiet game but I appreciated enough to park him on the bench in our next match at Milngavie. Wanderers were brushed aside 4-1 – same team, same tactics, with Chuchu playing out of his skin to keep Hoque on the bench for 86 minutes. We climb again – second now as Irvine and Longlea cancelled each other out. We play those two in the next four. I’d set a target of 9 points this month – we got 10.

Hoque - our saviour? The staff overrate him, and it doesn't look like we need saving any more, but he does look very tidy

Our Head of Youth Development - perhaps a lot more qualified and competent than I first assumed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our tactical, role and duty tweaks to take us to the finishing line

With newbie Hoque in place of back-stabbing Anjro - providing Mushready's form dips.

We can see the finishing line

Edited November 7, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

I suspect strong correlation between this:

and this:

I gave her the nod

Nevertheless, I'm impressed. Discussions have clearly been had behind the scenes, and the management have chosen to show me a little respect!

Negotiations are not my department, but I appreciate being kept in the loop.

A fortnight ago, the players were telling me how to do my job with a vague threat of getting me fired; now ...

The last observation is my own. Trust no one in this game. No one.

Edited November 7, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

FEBRUARY

A home tie against hapless Rhu Amateurs was the perfect opportunity to introduce Hoque. He delivered two assists despite stepping on Yusuf’s toes too often – the defensive midfielders are too similar to be paired, at least not without considerable work on the training ground. Sadat’s back to being the constant presence on the score sheet – we chalked up a routine 5-2 win. With Irvine going down to the odd goal in nine at our next opponent Doune Castle, we go top. We chalked up another seven-goal massacre in a 7-2 victory, now cursing the schedulers for giving the league a month’s break which we’d have to fill with friendlies to keep the momentum going.

Is 2023 our year? Despite appearances, it's tight, and we now know how easily the wheels can come off

 

The first team squad - appearances, goals, assists

 

You don't often see this - best player in the division is our right fullback

Our left fullback did his ankle and was out for a month - the Long Wait was a month, so he's back just in time to face Irvine. Unfortunately, in our last training session Admassu "pulled his groin" and is out of the game.

Edited November 7, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

MARCH

The match at Irvine was predictably very tough. Traore did heroics in goal to keep a clean sheet was we stole a 2-0 win. With the teams behind proving rusty after the break, we’ve opened up a four-point cushion from fourth place. We hosted second-placed Longlea next. Sadat’s deadly finishing saw us run out 5-1 victors. The next day we found out that amongst the 27 paying spectators was a scout. There was a sudden flurry of activity at the UNDHR and meetings here regarding the call-up of Fareed Sadat to the Afghan national team. Would it be safe for him to join up? Does he want to represent his country while the regime that forced his family to flee preside over it? In the end, he agreed, with the UN providing heavy security for him and his family for the trip to Mongolia. The game finished 0-0 and Fareed didn’t play a minute, but he said it was a good experience.

Sadat insisted on playing at Corkerhill. His travelling did result in him being off the pace, but the rest of the lads combined to stroll to a 4-1 win. We could be one game away from promotion here.

At the end of the month, Davina arranged an impromptu staff meeting with myself, Franziska and Katerina. They pointed out to me that with a group of new asylum-seekers on their way for trials, the UN has a one squad member per host nation policy, so if I want to sign up any new boys, I’ll have to let some go. I mentioned that there are four or five who haven’t developed and are not getting much gametime, whether that be due to attitude or lack of talent. Davina explained that I’d need to make final decisions before the end of the season as she’ll be leaving and a replacement Director of Football might not arrive for a month or two.

[phnompenhandy]

APRIL

We didn’t fool around on April 1^st as we travelled to Tarbolton. Facing our erstwhile treacherous captain Hani Anjro wasn’t even the biggest draw for us – the club recently acquired a new manager in the person of Scottish legend Barry Ferguson. We did a professional number on them in running up a 4-2 win. What I hadn’t realised was that with 2^nd and 3^rd playing each other, those three points guaranteed us promotion!

By this point I was focused on the bigger prize. Next up we hosted bottom-feeder Bearsden. We only won 2-0, but it was enough to all-but guarantee us the title. No medals were handed out because technically we could lose our 19 goal advantage over the last two games, so I’d needed to wait one more week for the glitters and public recognition.

The intake of asylum-seeking youths are in the country. I've submitted a list of six of our lads that I've decided not to retain, and seven new lads will join us soon.

Due to suspensions, I'm having to put three players I will release in the matchday squad, but here are three I've already said goodbye to:

Semon Alem played 6 games at left back before I realised how good Abdalla Sayed was. In the U18s, Alem stagnated.

I thought Sudara Madusanka was going to be our main striker, but in 6 games he only scored one goal and was otherwise anonymous.  Bienvenue took a little time to get settled, but over the season he scored a goal every two games and contributed a lot too.

And Rabi Mohammad – again, I started in the expectation that he’d be our regular goalkeeper, but after conceding 17 goals in 6 matches, I replaced him with Zane Traore, whose 43 conceded in 30 games justified my decision.

 

Edited November 7, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

With the Caledonian Amateur League suits present with the trophy to hand to us in front of our 20-odd fans, we embarrassed ourselves by losing 1-3 to Gartcosh. The problem was both our defensive midfielders were suspended and my attempts to improvise left us discombobulated. So we take it to the wire, the last gameweek of the season. With the suspended pair back, I’ll give the other three the bad news anyway.

Here are the other three I've released:

Salgado was unfortunate to be in Fareed Sadat's shadow, but with one goal in eight matches and no work put in on the training ground, he did himself no favours.

Wasif got 11 games in central defence with a 6.5 average (very consistently 6.5 actually).

The most controversial is Chan - due to poor quality elsewhere, he played 26 games and scored two goals, but he averaged 6.5 and has a serious weakness - look at his height!

I'm decided to give one more chance to a pair of players who started the season well enough but gave me too much gip, so I banished them to the reserves. The two wingers, Gaylor Budi Budi Mubiey and Mustafa Ghazi Abu Bakr have the summer to sort their attitudes out.

Edited November 7, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Having released two central defenders, I was informed Abdi was suspended for the last fixture at Glasgow Harp, so one of the new kids got an early debut. We didn’t mess around this time, finishing the job with a 7-0 demolition.

 

The board are thrilled with me

Final table

Review of starters and form

Edited November 7, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Before we disappear for the summer and the new lads hit their English intensive classes, let's take a look at them.There are no   under-16 North Korean defectors on the UNDHR‘s books this year, and they haven’t sent us anyone from Pakistan or Syria. We do have another South Sudanese, Colombian, Hong Kong protestor and Sri Lankan Tamil. We also have a Uyghur and our first two climate refugees, from the Maldives and New Caledonia. I’ve been assessing them on the training ground – some might make the first team squad next preseason although most will need to be patient.

 

A dissident Hong Kong student activist is our back-up goalkeeper

In central defence we have a South Sudanese and a Maldives lad who's watched his home get swallowed up by the rising seas

A climate refugee from the Pacific at left back

 

 

Edited November 7, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Our Uyghur goes into defensive midfield

Another Colombian kid has to challenge Sadat for the attacking midfield spot

A decent lone striker could make a name for himself early door. The new candidate is a Sinhalese whose father was accused of collaborating with Tamil Tigers

Edited November 7, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

[end of season 4^th wall breaker – I strongly believe that it’s no coincidence that my sudden change in form and big scores happened immediately after the full game downloaded. Would we have won the league otherwise? I suspect not. In fact, I reckon I’d have been sacked if the full game had downloaded a day later. I take no pleasure in inadvertently getting an advantage from such a circumstance. It’s a shame. I assume a patch will be along to fix these issues soon enough – I’m sure I’ll still be an amateur club and will experience the difficult challenge the story is supposed to be in due course. I hope so.]

[phnompenhandy]

This is my staff's assessment of the whole squad when we met after the start of the holiday break.

It's worth noting that all the youths who've been with us a year have improved their English to at least a level deemed 'good'.

Edited November 8, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

A quick look at the final table for Division 1, where we'll be playing next season, is instructive

The top three are way way above our level - there's no chance we could've finished above them. So they're all promoted, and we needn't fear anyone in this league next season. I'm sorry we won't get a chance to face Rothesay Brandanes - they aren't a club rival, but it's my birthplace and childhood home. The ferry to Arran and 'Doon the Watter' to Dunoon very much appeals, though.

Edited November 8, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[Vakama2619]

Weren't Harmony Row in the professional pyramid for a bit?

[phnompenhandy]

30 minutes ago, Vakama2619 said:

Weren't Harmony Row in the professional pyramid for a bit?

Maybe years ago - they have a semi-illustrious history:

I've known them from the real-life West of Scotland Division 4 - the 10th and lowest real tier of Scottish football. Alas, in June of this year (2023) they went defunct and were swallowed into Giffnock Soccer Centre, newly-entered this season in that same (and my) 10th tier West of Scotland Division 4. Now this team is a real force to be reckoned with; GSC are the biggest youth football club in Scotland now in terms of membership, and their new facility is very good at this level:

We've got no chance of rivalling them before we utilize the new national training centre (which is still in the early planning and requisitioning stages - maybe a decade away from completion).

Harmony Row's final appearance in the league (WoS Div 4):

The West of Scotland 4th Division is championed, incidentally, by this legend, Sam in his YouTube channel

I STARTED MY SEASON in the BOTTOM TIER

 

 

Edited November 8, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[Vakama2619]

30 minutes ago, phnompenhandy said:

Maybe years ago - they have a semi-illustrious history:

I've known them from the real-life West of Scotland Division 4 - the 10th and lowest real tier of Scottish football. Alas, in June of this year (2023) they went defunct and were swallowed into Giffnock Soccer Centre, newly-entered this season in that same (and my) 10th tier West of Scotland Division 4. Now this team is a real force to be reckoned with; GSC are the biggest youth football club in Scotland now in terms of membership, and their new facility is very good at this level:

We've got no chance of rivalling them before we utilize the new national training centre (which is still in the early planning and requisitioning stages - maybe a decade away from completion).

Harmony Row's final appearance in the league (WoS Div 4):

The West of Scotland 4th Division is championed, incidentally, by this legend, Sam in his YouTube channel

I STARTED MY SEASON in the BOTTOM TIER

 

 

I meant by pro pyramid is the main 10 tier system, love the Footy Adventures channel, been subbed for over a year pretty much. Seen a few of the WOSD4 videos, I remember a BSC Glasgow appearance on that channel after the Broomhill split

[phnompenhandy]

10 minutes ago, Vakama2619 said:

I meant by pro pyramid is the main 10 tier system, love the Footy Adventures channel, been subbed for over a year pretty much. Seen a few of the WOSD4 videos, I remember a BSC Glasgow appearance on that channel after the Broomhill split

Oh yes, technically the 10th tier is semi-pro. I left Scotland and the UK over 20 years ago when amateur clubs were the norm. I'm not party to the change in status from amateur to semi-pro for clubs of this stature; surely the players get no more than petrol expenses, which were permitted to amateur players anyway.

In my pyramid, tier 10 is semi-pro as in real life. We're getting promoted into the Amateur First Division, which is all-amateur, but the 11th tier between that and WoS Div 4 is the Caledonian Amateur Premier League, where a number of clubs turn semi-pro. I guess there's a good chance our board will take that decision, although whether contracts will shift from amateur to non-contract or one-year binding contracts remains to be seen. Unfortunately, there will still be no opportunity to get out of the red and fund any upgrades to facilities.

 

EDIT: I just checked; promoted Harmony Row are still amateur going into June. I'll check again when the season starts to see if there's any change.

Edited November 8, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Ms. Gibson moved quickly to replace Davina. She wisely, in my opinion, has gone for local knowledge over German efficiency here. I hope we'll get along

 

Elsewhere, Celtic won the SPL. Inverness Caley Thistle join the SPL and replaces Highland neighbours Ross County, as our partner Queen’s Park suffered relegation to League One. They’ll be replaced by ex-nonleague Cove Rangers. Spartans and Brechin do the league/nonleague shuffle. Halkirk United become the first North Caledonian side in history to win promotion to the Highland League as Lossiemouth suffer demotion. Shetland remarkably won the Highland Premier League and will join Orkney in the NCL next season [update: my bad - it seems Shetland were not eligible for the higher league].

In the Lowlands, Jeanfield Swifts replace Edinburgh University. They beat Darvel in the play-offs, winners of tier 6 of our part of the pyramid.

 

In England, the three promoted teams from last season were relegated from the Premier League and the three previously relegated returned.

 

 

Edited November 9, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[Punch]

Looks like a fun save, keep up the good work.

 

Which skin are you using?

[phnompenhandy]

4 minutes ago, Punch said:

Looks like a fun save, keep up the good work.

 

Which skin are you using?

 Thanks, it's FLUT.

[phnompenhandy]

Well I never. June – that nasty month when anybody could leave you at a moment’s notice. To be fair, Linda Friedrich, our coach, had given us notice, and she went with our blessing to Highland League (tier 5) Aberdonian outfit Banks O’ Dee. Our incoming Director of Football was appraised of the situation and had Linda's replacement in her office an hour after Linda signed off. It's only her elder sister! Karen has experience as a Chairman, Director, Recruitment consultant while helping out as a fitness coach at Annan. The way it's been explained to me is Kirsten will be pretty busy with her outside education consultant business interest, and Karen has come in post-retirement to oversee everything is running smoothly. I don't know; I just hope I'm left to do my job.

Edited November 8, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

* update for @Vakama2619 - Harmony Row have indeed gone semi-pro. The squad are all kids on youth contracts, and the manager, like me, works on a voluntary basis, so I don't see where there are any expenses.

Now I'm in charge of General Training, I thought I'd share where we're at:

Keep it Simple - drilling three basic programmes, and focusing on the physicals.

 

Edited November 8, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Hopefully I can pursue my goals with less pressure this season; the bookies, board, fans and even players all expect us to struggle

If the teams in Division 2 were all nearby, this time we are more spread out. There are teams based in the suburbs in all four directions, as well as far-flung places. Dunoon and Arran are obvious, but league favourites and the first opponents we'll do battle with, Milton, hail from Bannockburn.

I don't see why, really. The vast majority of amateur clubs at the level of tier 12-13 are much of a muchness, and providing the squad keeps together, we've done the hard part. The lads (apart for a few of the new ones) understand English well enough, they know my tactics and each other - we ought to be able to hit the ground running, unlike the horrible start we made last season. I could be wrong, but I'm happy to let initial expectations be so low.

Edited November 9, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Every day was brought news of interest in our players. We have a policy of promoting their welfare and footballing futures, and won’t stand in anyone’s way if they take the chance to move onwards and upwards. Just before the squad reassembled for preseason, when I planned to gauge the expressions and reactions of those we’d informed had received offers, I got a call from goalkeeper to let me know he was very happy at the club and had rejected four approaches.

Providing the squad stays mostly intact, I won’t be messing with my deadly attacking midfield trio or either fullback; it will take injuries to them for their understudies to get a first team look-in. I’m open to trying out newcomers in the goalkeeping, central defence and striker positions, as well as defensive midfield, although we only got one new addition there. Both new central defenders are under 6’ tall; it’s a trade-off between speed and height again. The board are showing their footballing naïveté in requiring ‘defensive solidity’ along with an attacking and direct playing style. Grumblers gotta grumble, and they will.

I’m starting preseason with a reversion to no-nonsense central defenders, and trying out a segundo volante role for Islamkhan.

I was going to wait until the end of preseason to file a report, but suddenly things got serious.

If one player is nigh-on irreplaceable, it's Fareed here, our key goal-scorers and maker of things happening.

The following week:

Not nearly so bad (I say that, but the other keeper picked up a hand injury in the next match), but I'm beginning to worry a pattern might be being set. And before you shout at me, yes my staff have already pointed out my preseason fitness regime is on the brutal side for these tender lambs. Alright, it's on me.

Apart from the dread of news of further injuries, I was also waiting on tenterhooks for news of youths leaving us, although no one had two weeks into preseason, and after cycling tired attackers into the central attacking role, The Aunties dug out another young climate refugee kicking his heels around in Edinburgh – a kid from Vanuatu. They couldn’t vouch for his qualities but insisted he’d do as a last resort.

One (the first?) player who left us for better things (if not the weather) was our Burundi striker Saidi Bienvenue (15 goals, 9 assists in 30 games). Lochs from the Western Isles playing in tier 7 enticed him away, leaving us with one striker, although others can fill in if necessary. Franziska and Silvia Schmitt, one of our directors will seek a replacement.

Edited November 8, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

JULY

On the field, apart from the injuries, we got into shape by cruising through nine friendlies in the month. I saw enough to conclude the ‘segundo volante’ role is too fancy-dan at this level so we’ll go forward with a basic “ball-winning” destroyer role. The number of goals conceded is wayyy down onlast season - so we might please the board and fickle fans with their defensive demands yet.

The Germans, working with the UN duly delivered a young striker to us – a Yazidi originally from the Nineveh Plain in Iraq where ISIS slaughtered his family. He’s arrived too late to get him match fit for the start of the season, but I can see the potential.

Say "hello" to Cardo

Finally, I have my third badge. I'm now studying for my UEFA; four certificates will let me loose on organising individual training schedules. Will i learn to find the sweet spot between pushing them to the max and risking major injuries?

Edited November 8, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

AUGUST

 

Before the season kicked into gear we played a money-spinning friendly in front of a record 388 paying fans against English league side Morecambe. We let in six, but the experience was positive.

 

Maybe not positive for everyone ...

What confuses me, Izzie, is that it isn't me who gives team-talks in friendlies - did you not notice it was a woman speaking? 

 

While I was dealing with this nonsense, another player responded to a call and left for Dailly, divisional rivals this season

 

He only played 6 games last season, but the son of a Burmese dissident was a more-than decent back-up at right back. Another replacement to be sought before the window closes.

Edited November 9, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

As the season for real kicked off, I was satisfied with the level of tactical familiarity the squad had – I had changed very little since the end of the previous season, but we still had a number of rookies due to make regular first team appearances. Team cohesion was also higher than I’d expected, although the clues were there given the number of players who’d turned down opportunities to leave.

We won our three Division One matches in August comfortably – all was well? Nope.

The one exception to the squad cohering well is Ghazi Abu Bakr – I had decided to give him more time as I could see his potential, but he’s taken that as a cue to take the proverbial and put zero effort into his training. It’s clear he’s only here for the social life. Sadat should be back before January, where I’ll take the opportunity to have Mustafa removed from the club.

 

 

 

 

But I need to be more proactive. I received another teenage delegation

I couldn’t let the youth take control of recruitment, but these were our best players, and Yusuf had just joined Sadat on the long-term injury list. I told them our squad could cope, but privately I knew they had a point and went off to discuss the matter with the higher-ups. We were only a week away from the transfer window closing so I knew at best we’d get some numbers but not quality. It would have to do.

Edited November 9, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

SEPTEMBER

As September rolled around, The Aunties informed me that a bevy of kids were due to arrive, but that the UNDHR didn’t have time to find youths of sufficient quality. I spoke to Franziska who was due to meet them at Prestwick Airport and told her to welcome them but explain the focus was to spend the next few months learning English and training with us only.

When they arrived at the club and I’d put them through a couple of my training sessions, I could see that one lad stood out. Welcome Mohammed, our new Yemeni first-team right-back.

I’ll introduce the rest when or if they make the first-team squad. There are four of them, a refugee from the civil war in The Central African Republic, one each from the wars in Syria and Lebanon, and an asylum-seeker from a family hunted by the Pakistani Taliban. With five impressionable incomers, I was able to persuade the board that it was for the best to send trouble-maker Abu Bakr packing.

 

Here is the full squad, assessed by some UN-sponsored experimental AI algorithms we've been asked to trial

Edited November 9, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

On the field of football, we were cruising. Phone regretted calling home as we dispatched his new team 5-0. We were found out by Balmore, who know us and my tactics from Division 2 last season; they beat us 1-2 but it was largely down to Chuchu getting a first half red. We also lost 4-5 at table-topping Cambria where had the game in the bag until our keeper had to go off with a broken wrist in the 82^nd minute, and they took advantage to put three goals past us in the last 10. Square pegs in round holes and half-fit lads still saw off lesser lights in Dunoon and Drumchapel.

With last year's star player Admassu breaking his collar bone in training, and both our keepers sustaining bad injuries (thankfully not at the same time), it was becoming evident just how vital the extra depth was – keep it to yourselves, but those lads were 100% right. The rookies are integrating with the squad well socially, in training and even in competitive games.

 

A good start, all things considered

Edited November 9, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

OCTOBER

 

Sadat was called up again, to play two matches against Mongolia. I told myself, if he plays, he’ll return match fit; if he’s left out again, it will be a real pain to get him first-team ready. Fortunately, his back-up the Polynesian new boy Tenene, has been a revelation. On that, it’s notable that as some of the new kids surprise me with their commitment and quality, so a few of last season’s top players are a bit sluggish at the start of this, risking losing their starting spots – the likes of Adawi, Sayed, Martinez. The central defenders and midfielders are perennially less than impressive – we’re just fortunate opponents can’t finesse the barrier of bodies (when we have a goalkeeper behind it).

We got through the first two rounds of the William Turner pot – I’m minded to give this one a right good go this season – it’s only a maximum of six matches, including the final.

I never got any news from the Afghan federation, but when Fareed Sadat returned, he said he’d trained hard but only came on as a late sub in both matches. He declared himself fit, and with our physio unavailable, I put him in the starting line-up at Campsie. He scored then did his knee ligaments and is likely out for another month. Damn.

As Admassu neared a much-needed return, Chuchu nobbled his hip and is out for three months. At least with all these injuries, the new kids are all getting gametime – and doing okay. But we-re living on a knife-edge with injuries - I had to put FOUR central defenders on the bench for one match.

The football's fine though; the top 2 slipped up, but we're in a three-horse race

Edited November 9, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

NOVEMBER

Admassu lasted 28 minutes into his comeback before his achilles went. Our goalkeeper Yapp Hung Fai played two matches after his broken wrist before he broke bones in his hand. THIS time my other keeper, Traore, was on the bench. We’ll be without backup for another couple of months – I guess a third keeper will be on the January shopping list.

No matter how desperately we need players back, I’m going to need to reintroduce them gently. Having said that, I argued the case with Aunty Kirsten that we need a proper physio who has a paid position and can spend some time with injured players. She agreed and now we have a Head Physiotherapist.

 

On the pitch, we dropped just the two points. Our lead felt healthy until you noticed our rivals, both 6 points behind us, had two games in hand.

 

On the side of the pitch, I note our average attendance has skyrocketed sixfold! It was 22 last season, so far this it's up to 128.

 

I’m UEFA qualified! People are saying I’ve improved immensely these last 12 months.

Now I get full control over all aspects of training. I’ll still leave the fitness, set piece and goalkeeping stuff to the coaching team – they’re not my thing. I'll put some programmes into operation as soon as we get a break from these bi-weekly matches and we get some time to train.

 

DECEMBER

We won every game by a single-goal margin; we’re grinding out results rather than the massacres of yesteryear. At the same time, our rivals are stumbling, leaving the table at the end of 2023 looking very healthy.

The only thing that can beat us now is not the ongoing plague of injuries, but the dreaded transfer window.

Edited November 9, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

2024

JANUARY

As 2024 rolled around we’d worked through the gears. We stormed the league, but we met our match in the William Turner Challenge when we hosted to top side in the Caledonian Amateur pyramid, Annbank United. After being second best in a 3-3 draw we edged it on penalties.

The transfer window was remarkably stress-free. Only a few offers came in and all the players adamantly insisted they had no intention to leave. I embarrassed myself by pleading with Aunt Karen not to abandon us when she had already summarily rejected an approach. I got my third offer of the season; one from the Highland League and two from the Lowland (both tier 5), after turning down one from the North Caledonian (tier 6) earlier.

An emergency goalkeeper did join us – he’s North Korean and doesn’t speak a word of English. I hope we never have to call on him.

FEBRUARY

We lost the first match of the month at Dunoon. A bad day at the office. But we needed to be up for the next fixture, a cup tie against Helensburgh who were 2^nd behind Annbank in the Caley Premier. And we were. The reward is a trip to a tier 7 side in Dundee, Coldside United. We didn’t play it safe as expected, but it was a scruffy game, lacking any quality. But we got the best of it in a 3-2 victory to cause the biggest cupset of the season in the Amateur Cup. We’ve also progressed to the final of the William Turner.

We’re still taking a battering on the injury front, but I think we have a big enough squad to keep going even if players have to occasionally play out of position.

Time to meet the newish arrivals, as they've played plenty of competitive football by now

Not too skilful but is proving quietly consistent when he plays in defensive midfield

A suitable bench candidate as he can play left and right fullback. Neither that well though, and he is moaning about starting more games even though he doesn't deserve to.

We've got plenty of talent on the wings, so I didn't expect him to play much. But due to injuries he's started 13 games as an inverted left winger and has been superb.

 

[phnompenhandy]

MARCH

 

On March 1^st, we lost our physio, one we gave a contract to in order to ensure she stayed for the season. We got £120 in compensation. At the same time, our new Head Physio told Kirsten that she would leave in the summer. The next day we secured promotion.

 

The Robertson aunties called Franziska and me for an unscheduled meeting. A UNDHR official had visited to update the board with important developments. It seems our project has gained admirers worldwide. There are rumours that clubs in Germany and Scandinavia are in talks with their governments to set up asylum communities with associated affiliate amateur football clubs. Worryingly, two Middle-Eastern oil states with troubling human rights records and no history of taking in asylum-seekers are waking up to the sportswashing opportunities and are poised to attract asylum-seeking families with promising sons. The implications for us are that we have a lot of competition; we won’t be able to get the better prospects if bigger clubs try to attract them.

The immediate effect will concern our looming intake day next month. The club’s network have had sixteen youths lined up for the last six months, but the official heard last week that most of them are being enticed away. We definitely won’t get 16 youths; we may get closer to none.

This news is frankly terrifying. I’ve seen how fickle these young lads are. We’ve had a relatively easy few months where the squad has been happy and players have turned down chances to leave. But it just takes one tiny insignificant event – some getting slightly miffed with a gentle criticism from me or gets the hump over not getting picked often enough, and things can quickly spiral out of control. We could go from seeming harmony to half the squad deciding to leave in a week. We’re in a good moment; we’ll win the title and one or even two cups, but I can never relax and assume next season or even tomorrow will be fine.

The board moved very quickly indeed:

The next day a contract was stuck under my nose – one year, no financial remuneration, nor any bonus for success. Within a week half the squad had signed new contracts with £5 appearance fees included.

Edited November 10, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

After three narrow victories and a draw in the league, we ended March with a cup final – the William Turner Challenge Cup against Glenburn Miner’s Welfare whom we’d earlier beaten 2-0 at home in Division One. It was held at Hamilton Academical and Clyde’s home ground, the charmlessly-named ZLX Stadium.

Seats! A roof!

Three of our key players were out for the rest of the season, there were other injuries and Sadat was away on international duty, but in front of 1,217 fans in the biggest game in the club’s history, the players we put out strolled to a 5-2 victory.

Admit it, Karen. You're "ecstatic" about the £10,000 prize money plus £2,000 gate receipts and match income. Aunties Robertson already hinted to me that it would take us out of the deep red and into the black, just in time to fund the change in status. And remember, we're going for the other cup, too.

Edited November 10, 2023 by phnompenhandy