A CELTIC JOURNEY

[phnompenhandy]

A lower league journeyman career around the lowest reaches of Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. Starting as an utterly unqualified coach in the amateur depths of either Irish nation or Wales, the rules are as follows:

In the close season after getting promoted, you have to resign and seek a new job in another country. You can only rise one tier per season - although you're welcome to move sideways if you wish. If you get sacked, you restart at the bottom (i.e. lowest tier in whichever nation is next - a different one to the one you just got fired in). You can't resign without getting promoted.

Points are earned for every promotion and trophy you win, the points being the reputation of the league or trophy in the pregame editor (trophies not listed in the editor might bring you money and glory, but no points in this challenge).

You must do AT LEAST two stints in each nation.

Here are the databases I'm using:

TheFMEditor Northern Irish Database - 7 tiers, with three/four of them amateur (fourth tier is a mix). The reputations of the lowest levels and teams is super-low. A good place to start.

League of Ireland 9 Tier System (by 'Hesht') - 9 tiers, but the reputations of the lowest leagues and teams are a little higher, and only the lowest two tiers are amateur. It's okay to start here at level 9.

Evo's Builds - Welsh League down to Level 7 (by 'the shrew'). 7 tiers, with half of them amateur. The reputations of the lowest levels and teams is the lowest among the four nations. A good place to start if tier 9 is too much to contemplate.

Mozza's 'The (Real Life) Full Scottish Pyramid' (I've been using it in my Loch Ness FC save, narrated as "Nessie Awakes!" in the Careers Update forum). Mozza has a 10th tier, but it only has 2 amateur sides. The lowest reputations of clubs is higher than the other leagues, so you can't start here.

You can pick a club from one of the lowest leagues, or you might like to start unemployed and apply for jobs in lowest leagues to start your career - it's optional.

In terms of 'utterly unqualified' that means an ex-Sunday league plodder and no badges. I go for 1's in every category except Adaptability (since it's the least useful).

If you reach a tier one league, after you've won the league title once and each cup once, the next step will be to win reputation points from European trophies.

nb. You might prefer the fictitious Scotland Restructured (by Daryl Motion, released today on Steam Workshop), or Riddler's Welsh, N. Irish and Rep. Irish leagues - we don't have to be overly strict. It's fine to add various editor data add-ons too.

 

[I'll level with you - my choice of databases is largely driven by the limitations of my decade-old PC. It can't handle adding an English 8 or 10-tier database - it's either/or. Most of you could probably manage a Great Britain & Ireland journey easily]

Edited December 27, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

The next 4 posts involve long lists - they're for reference. The reputation points for all leagues and cups. Also a guide to show you how low to aim at the beginning!

 

SCOTLAND

 

 

 

 

Edited December 27, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

WALES (how low can you go?)

 

[phnompenhandy]

NORTHERN IRELAND (a well-made, straightforward league system)

 

[phnompenhandy]

REPUBLIC OF IRELAND (the 9th tier still has a considerably higher reputation than the lowest tiers in N. Ireland and Wales)

 

[phnompenhandy]

My set-up

 

[phnompenhandy]

Quote

“And I have felt
A presence that disturbs me with the joy
Of elevated thoughts; a sense sublime
Of something far more deeply interfused,
Whose dwelling is the light of setting suns,
And the round ocean and the living air,
And the blue sky, and in the mind of man”

 

[phnompenhandy]

TINTERN ABBEY

 

Edited December 25, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

 

Smitten.  "Wye?", you ask. I'm a romantic at heart.

WALES LEVEL 7 GWENT Division 3

 

Starting with a typical blank slate at this level

 

Promotion will put 2 points in the bag, and winning that cup 4 points - which suggests teams from higher levels take part, making it an unlikely prospect. How long will it take us to open our account?

Edited December 23, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

The media expect 4th. The bookies (who know a darn sight more) have us 15th

The board require we make the play-offs. The good news is eighth-place qualifies for that.

Right, off to meet the .... hang on, there are NO staff! The players are due to waft in over the course of today, and the place is completely deserted! It's going to be chaotic.

Edited December 22, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

The chairman wants to introduce you to the club - go on, it'll be the best two minutes you spend all day!

"Go on the Abbey!" | CPD Tintern Abbey

 

We also have anew kits for this season - very canary. Here's the squad:

 

Edited December 25, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

First priority before players arrived was to get myself an assistant, one who knew something about the local scene. The chairman put me onto Aled Rowlands, a Cefn Druids veteran ending his playing career in the amateur Ardal tier and was looking to hang up his boots to try coaching. He was happy to join us as a playing assistant manager (albeit a 50-year-old player!).

 

My key right-hand man

 

 

Aled was only a couple of hours down the road – he came straight by and after a rushed introduction, I left him to greet the players and I got straight on the phone to see how I could strengthen the squad. The chairman had told me we have literally a handful of players good enough for a promotion push – if I wanted to aim that high, I’d need to find better quality. Aled had assured me he had the knowledge and contacts. He said he’d find me a coach who could put the arriving players through their paces outside so Aled would sit down with me. Living down the road was Leigh De-Vulgt, an ex-Afon Lido player who’d been out of the game for four years and was keen to be involved. The deal was I wasn’t to ask what he’d been doing with himself in that time. We had ourselves a right back/coach.

 

We found a handful of players who had not yet received confirmation from our league rivals about staying on for this season, so with the necessary assurances (and in a few cases promises re. improving training facilities – you can do that when you intend to move on after a year), we both strengthened our starting squad and weakened our rivals.

We found enough guys to assemble a pretty decent first team, but with little in reserve. The schedule has us playing every Wednesday and with one or two Saturdays every month until December. If we can avoid injuries, it looks manageable.

The squad looked pretty disinterested when I introduced myself to them. I wasn’t hurt – my intention is the next time I talk to many of them, one-to-one, it will be to inform them their services are no longer required.

The fans look like they're going to be trouble

 

This lot - trouble written all over them

Edited December 23, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

A local young paramedic, Molly Wilson approached us to offer her services as a physio. ‘Head Physio – welcome aboard!’ I declared. That completed our backroom staff; it’s me, Aled, Leigh and Molly.

After a week or so, we’d brought in eleven new players (never mind about the hundred or so we didn’t get). By this point we had more players than supporters, so I focused my attention on who to release. We didn’t have fixtures for reserves or youth, and telling me about ‘potential’ fell on deaf ears given my short-term plans. Two players for each position would suffice – I just needed to observe a few training sessions and preseason matches to work out who they’d be.

The real scoop was getting Casey Thomas. He’d played league football for Swansea and Colchester before emigrating to Australia, mainly as a defender. Now here in semi-retirement, I brought him in to be our striker. First minute in his first game he scored; five minutes later Molly was called on to help with a nasty foot injury. He’s out for six weeks.

Talking of defenders, we haven’t been able to recruit any. The boys are taking very well to my instructions, but it is intensive on defenders. I did actually have to bring on my 50 year old assistant and 41 year old coach to see out the friendlies. That’s not sustainable!

Edited December 23, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

I've customised stuff - here's my club home screen

 

[phnompenhandy]

Pre-season is over. It was far too short for the squad to gain much in terms of cohesion or tactical familiarity; nevertheless, lessons were learned.

The Second XI started the game we lost, demonstrating that they are truly hopeless. The games we drew were against Level 6 opposition, and we beat the teams at our level (in parallel divisions). The first team only conceded one goal, and that was with players I've since released; otherwise, we can say the defence is very sound. It's very clear we're going to struggle to score or even get shots on target without Casey Thomas - we need him back asap. I'm having to get used to the fact that we do actually need our 51-year-old assistant to come on and see out games every match, as the defenders a third of his age don't have the energy.

I've released all players unlikely to get significant game-time. They don’t get paid, so if they’re not playing, they’ll grumble and cause dissent in the squad. I need a squad that’s tight-knit and positive. Also, I need a squad that doesn't confuse me:

Two of each lads, no more. Thank you.

Edited December 23, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

This is the full squad, and the tactics we're going forward with:

 

 

 

I made some tweaks to the defence despite our record; I want to keep possession and play out from the back so converted defenders from no-nonsense to plain nonsense and explained to captain Ben how I want him to sweep. I made adjustments to roles in midfield and am going to see if 15 year-old Kirk 'Rambo' Ramsey is better as a midfield starter than William Lewis. That way, when I shout "Lewis!" it won't cause consternation. Jones pt II is a temporary stand-in for Thomas the Tank.

Edited December 24, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

I should warn you now, before you read any further - I'm attribute-sceptic.

I do know how you guys like to slaver over the numbers, but I do like to make things hard for myself. After all, I have no qualifications, no analyst and no scout. Where would I get my knowledge from?

Edited December 23, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

I kicked off my managerial debut and the new season at Newbridge, playing the tautological Fields Park. It was the start of a three-match-in-a-week sequence when we were nowhere near fit.

It turned out we were nowhere ready for the first game. Chris Jones, playing at the club we’d just poached him from, was a disaster up front and it affected the players behind him, tying themselves in knots looking to put a chance on a plate for him and giving up opportunities. We lost 0-1.

In my first home game, against Argoed, I started James Davies up top – big lad, no skills whatsoever, but he was instructed to make a nuisance of himself an create space for the attacking midfielders behind him. That basically worked well enough. However, it was the wingbacks who combined to produce the games’ only goal in a 1-0 win to us, pleasing the fans despite the low quality of football on display. The last game in the sequence was away at Croesyceilog, which sounds more like a dinosaur than a village. They’d lost their first two quite heavily, so we felt confident, especially with Thomas being fit enough for half a game. Oh boy, he did only play the first half but chalked up four goals! We also conceded four (i.e. conceded 3 to nil without Thomas) as we flagged very badly in the second half and scraped home 5-4.  Our main culprit was Ben Griffiths, who'd tried and failed to engineer a move away from the club the morning of the game. His attitude was appalling and I immediately stripped him of the captaincy. We'll see how things turn out going forward. It was a narrow escape, but with six points on the board, our star player back and a week to do our first training sessions during the new season, we’re feeling positive.

 

Two back-to-back news items. Clearly, we don't do 'middle of the road'.

Edited December 25, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

For the next game we welcomed River Usk FC from Chepstow to our ground. For the benefit of any away fans or fans from further afield who’d like to take in a game, if you’re coming from England, cross the proper (M48) Severn Bridge and turn right (before you set off, check the Severn Bridge Twitter feed. Seriously - it'll let you know if high winds are closing the bridges). Park in the Anchor Inn car park and enjoy a pre-match ploughman’s and a pint. You can watch the match from the pub’s picnic benches, lovingly installed as an homage to Football Manager 2023’s lower league stadia.

directions to our ground

The plan was, following Molly’s advice, for Casey to put us in a good place by half time and come off. He was feeling fine at half time – or at least no worse for wear than the rest of the unfit mob. A second half goal by Evans gave me the breathing space to make a triple substitution and switch to an energy-saving possession-conceding strategy which killed the game, although substitute striker Davies got a last-minute tap-in to placate the supporters. A comfortable, well-managed 3-0 win took us up to third.

Edited December 26, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Will Allen’s been giving me lip in training. He’s a silly boy – as a backup central defender, he’s seeing the other central defenders putting in a commendable shift on the training ground, and veterans Rowlands and Lloyd playing very well when called up as substitutes. He’s talking himself out of getting any game time at all.

For all that we’re dependent on one player for our goals, at Pontypool, Thomas wasn’t in the game first half – he wasn’t fit and was not getting in positions. At 0-0, I replaced him with Davies. The boy did his best, but without Thomas we have no potency up top at all. As is becoming customary, the opposition hardly got a sniff – it ended 0-0.

With a tight turn-around – only 3 days until the next match, most of the Starting XI needed a break, but Thomas was now fit to lead nine hopeless cases against Fleur-de-Lys from Caerphilly (I would make an aromatic pun here, but that would be too cheesy). Thomas twanged his thigh early doors, so we had no one fit or competent outfield at all. Completely outplayed, we lost 0-2. We ended the match with 10 men after Ramsey picked up an injury that will keep him out for six weeks.

We get 40-odd supporters to our games. It's par for the course in an area where rugby, cricket and the gee-gees take priority.

Our first team minus Ramsey travelled down to Newport to face the Eagles. Ramey’s replacement, William Lewis fancied himself as a tigerish ball-winner protecting the defence. Said his hero was Vinny Jones. “Hmm, well don’t get yourself sent off” was my cagey response. He did alright, but Thomas was off his game again, and my plan to take him off to save hm for the next game was scuppered when we went behind. Thomas had to stay on for the full 90, and he did grab a late equaliser to justify the decision short-term. 1-1 with the first team was a worry, though. We’re midtable, outside the top 8, and Karl Perry, the chairman wasn’t happy. "I'll see you tomorrow" he snarled and left me to my thoughts.

[phnompenhandy]

Karl (er, Mr. Perry) called me into his office (a quiet corner of the Anchor Inn saloon) ”Look,” he said, I’ve played it your way but you must agree there are issues with the size and quality of the squad”. I had to agree; he went on. “We’re less than a week until the close of the transfer window and I’m going to act and act fast. I’ve made a dossier of players released in the last few weeks by bigger clubs – yes, they’re mostly veterans but I know some of them have kept themselves fit and can do a job at this level. Now, they will be in demand with our rivals, so I have to move fast – I’m giving you until tonight to draw up a short list – make it a long shortlist because I’m probably going to have to call all of them in order to get enough to fill the gaps in the squad. If we get ones in the right positions, you can them release the backups that are clearly not good enough. My assumption is many will insist on playing for the first team but hopefully some will be content to be squad fillers.

I did as the chairman asked and left him to get busy over the next week. Next, we hosted Mill Street, also from Newport. Rather than give in before we’d started, I decided to rest the first team and hope they’d have the energy to compete twice in a week. Owen Collins accused me of flogging them to death so he got his wish and was rested for the fixture – possibly permanently depending on who rocks up in the next week.

Casey Thomas managed to run around for 90 minutes, demonstrating increasing match fitness and possibly awareness that his spot might be under threat. Unfortunately, after missing a third minute penalty, he was an utterly liability for the whole match. This time, however, we turned out to be more than a one-man band, and Owain Lewis popped up with the solitary goal in a 1-0 victory.

Three days later and we were off to prison. HMP Prescoed in Cwmbran. An open prison – quite nice, actually. They were top of the table. It was an away tie – all their games are played at their place for …. reasons. Whether it’s home advantage, the knowledge that in 2020 the league tried and failed to expel the team after 20 years in this league, or the knowledge that their players include a number of violent offenders in their ranks, the jailbirds rarely lose a game.

 

I'm not joking either - read the news:

HMP Prescoed's prison football team allowed to play Sunday league again after Gwent League Central u-turn

We came close though – after I had a strong word with Thomas he came up with a brace as the whole team played with an extra spring in their step - and we drew the game 4-4.

[phnompenhandy]

As September rolled around and the window closed, Xxxx the chairman informed me that he’d recruited ten players, mostly ‘senior’ and all demanding we get promoted this season as they’re ambitious but don’t have time on their side. That adds pressure on me. He told me he persuaded half the guys he was after – the others signed for Ardel (level 4) and other higher-ranking amateur clubs.

With a week to the next game, we had time on the training pitch to see how the new guys integrated with the old. It was a particularly inopportune moment for Owain Collins to have a meltdown when I remarked on his lack of application in front of these professionally-minded old guys. He’s now gone from the club and will have to content himself with throwing shade from the Anchor Inn tables. There was consternation on social media for a day – probably instigated by him.

 

Don't cross me son - that's your career gone

 

[phnompenhandy]

In a hastily-arranged friendly, four of the new guys looked good enough to start the next match, with five more on the bench as they built up their fitness. Going in with a slightly tweaked 5-2-1-2 C Lloyd formation against Brynmaw, With one shot on target in the whole match, it was a dour encounter, but I saw some quality amidst the fatigue. I think with more familiarity with the tactics and each other, we’ll turn these 0-0 draws into wins soon enough.

I changed the entire starting XI for the trip to struggling Greenmeadow (is there any other colour) in Cwmbran. The match played out similarly to the previous one, with us in a ‘getting-to-know-you’ phase, but we scrambled a goal and won 1-0.

We made big changes for the game with Ashdale from Ashvale (me neither). I was starting to see clear evidence that Callum Roberts was likely to keep the gloves from Ben Griffiths, and that with Casey Thomas proving to be seriously inconsistent, Jonathan Turner’s killer touch (he got a brace) would be something we could depend on. The 3-1 win took us up to fourth.

we're starting to get it together

 

[phnompenhandy]

With no match at the weekend, we got a decent training session in on Saturday. Our assman Aled Rowlands runs the sessions. I’d noticed that he wasn’t putting much effort in himself – again. It’s been three or four times now and I had to say something. It does feel odd disciplining the coach in charge of training for not training, butt hat’s life at the grassroots level. He took it well, thankfully.

For the next game we returned to Croesyceiliog to play Court Farm, starting a run of 5 matches in 14 days. Hopefully we’d be able to rotate successfully this time. In that match, with Thomas getting himself sent off before half time, Turner was able to establish himself as our go-to man for goals as he scored both is a 2-1 win. He’ll get a lengthy ban – well done the chairman for being a step ahead of me.

Home to Caerleon Town, I gave 40-year-old Neil Thomas his debut. The line-up was particularly geriatric and it cost us. After Marko Jenkins scored his first and second goals for us, I thought we were home and dry, only for us to concede two goals in the last two minutes and finish 2-2. I’d taken off two creaking defenders; it was my fault the third was too exhausted to move as a pass slipped by him in stoppage time. For the next home game versus Twyn Y Ffald I changed all 11 starters. The outcome was almost identical – a two-goal lead, a 90^th minute concession, but this time Ben Griffiths was in goal and saved a last-second strike to gain us a 2-1 victory.

 

undefeated in september and up to 2nd

 

 

The chairman ought to take a lot of credit. He's a bit schizo though ...

 

Edited December 26, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

October commenced with a visit to Caldicot to play the bizarrely named ‘Severn Tunnel Non Political’, presumably because the tunnel would emerge under the football pitch if the tunnel existed, which it doesn’t (hope that’s not too political). On the coach Owain Lewis complained to me that I hadn’t fined Casey Thomas (he wasn’t on the coach due to a three-match ban). I confessed I’d forgotten, but I would appreciate being held in a little more respect. I saved face by announcing that I’d planned to make him club captain. Our 2-0 victory was undermined by yet another red card – to Graves. I accept that our style of play is somewhat aggressive – it works and we have the squad to deal with the inevitable suspensions.

Casey Thomas marked his return from suspension with a hat trick in another game we threw away in the 95^th minute by conceding a stupid penalty to draw 3-3 with Aberbargoed. We were still second and in an automatic promotion spot. Back to Pontypool, we met mid-table Pontnewynydd – and got utterly smashed, 0-5. It was entirely our doing – we didn’t even have the excuse of a red card or exceptional opponent. We got off to a complacent start and just couldn’t up our game. We’ll need to go away and reflect on this.

Strong words and fines were doled out. Thomas and Taylor objected and were dropped. A much-changed team took on Fairfield United and struggled to a 3-3 draw. Our defence is falling apart, conceding 11 in the last three games. Being winless in October we’d dropped down to 4^th at this halfway point in the season, and had to host the league leaders Fields Park, who had beaten us in our opening game. I know we were at home and fans had paid to see a top-of-the-table battle, but my priority was to get something out of the game. And we did, in the most appalling 0-0 you can imagine. No regrets. I am, however, starting to regret signing Casey Thomas. He got sent off again, contributing to a 0-3 drubbing at midtable Argoed.

Edited December 26, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

We’d dropped to fifth, but ahead of our game with basement-dwellers Croesyceiliog I rallied the troops with a strong speech to get their morale up, and we went on to beat them, unconvincingly, 3-2. It was enough to take us back second, and above our next opponents, the much-improved River Usk. We played better than we had in along while and were good value for the narrow 2-1 win.

Casey decided to have a good day when Pontypool came to our place and grabbed two in a 3-1 win. That gave us a bit of breathing space in second as we prepared to face Fleur-de-Lys Welfare in Caerphilly. They’d inflicted our first home defeat, and we had pride to restore. After three wins on the bounce, belief was flooding back, and we crushed them 2-0. We went on to beat Newport Eagles 1-0 and Mill Street Social Club Dynamos 3-1. That left us with a 100% record in November – it helped that all six opponents were in dire form, but it wiped out the misery of October and left our tails high heading into a sequence of tougher games. From now on however, the games would come once a week only.

Now an eight point cushion with improving goal difference

 

Edited December 26, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

The chairman has found eight more unattached veterans who are willing to join our books on emergency backup status. He pointed out that as we have a cushion in the league, he wants us to have a right good go at the cup competition – the Gwent FA Intermediate Cup which commences in the new year. We play Pontyfelin Institute in the Gwent first division. They’re heading for relegation and might be in our league next season if we go up. They’re beatable.

Nicky Palmer, 41 DM, Kristian James, 40 WB?, Gareth Sudlow, 39 DC played for many years in Cymru Premier.  I'll introduce you if they make the cut.

The last time we played the prisoners, they were top of the league. Now HMP Prescoed were two spots behind us as we travelled to the jail for our ‘home’ game. In an extraordinary game we were well beaten 3-7, our winning streak ended. After we drew 1-1 at Brynmaw United on Saturday 10^th December, we were on a winter break. There was four weeks before the cup tie, then another fortnight before one league game and another fortnight before regular weekends. That meant arranging friendlies to keep everyone fit and assessing the new old guys.

Edited December 27, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Three new vets are in their 40s and the other 5 in their late 30s. There’s no sense teaching an old dog new tricks (on that note, with training sessions being full of geriatrics, I’ve ceased saying anything if they’re not putting in a shift – they’re mature enough to know what they’re about) – the 5 defenders are all no-nonsense cloggers – as long as they’re good in that role, I’ll go with it. They all have the experience to pick up a manager’s thoughts and tactics quickly, so there was no problem with team cohesion either. They did pick up a lot of knocks as well as winter snivels during the training sessions though, and most missed some of the five friendlies I’d arranged. By the end of that phase we were fit, and by playing all the games away on a mini-tour, our bank balance was in the black, which delighted the chairman. Then the transfer window opened on January 1st and the chairman informed me more free agents, wanting to keep themselves fit for the last four months of the season were coming along too.

The first season of my managerial career has become a zero sum game now. Making the playoffs and failing to get promoted will result in the vast majority of my current squad leaving, given I’d have failed in my promises to them. I’ve released nearly all the local lads, who won’t return while I’m here. If I get the club promoted, many of the players will retire or go into a physical decline that will ruin next season. It’s about achieving the goal and getting the hell out of Wales! Finishing second will do, but the title is within our grasp and I want it. The cup is a mere sideshow for the club, but for me it would treble my points total to launch my career, and so long as it doesn’t interfere with the league challenge – which it might well do if I get past the first two rounds – I’m going all out for that too.

 

makes this irrelevant to me too (not that I believe it)

Edited December 27, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Back in the big time, we kicked off 2023 with that cup match at P.I.L.C.S. We were 4-0 up in half an hour then relaxed a bit and that’s how the game ended. Peter Evans, clearly enjoying the superior quality around him, bagged a brace. We’re in business, baby!

I like that this cup competition doesn’t start until January. 2022 was all about trial-and-error to find the right players and the right system. As 2023 comes around, the right players and the right system are in place, and we are poised to really smash the rest of the season. The draw pits us in the next round with Brecon Town – in the same relegation zone as the team we just vanquished – and we’ll be at home.

In the two months of the winter break, one league game was scheduled, sandwiched between the first two rounds of the cup. Lowly Greenmeadow came to Tintern. Their goalkeeper played a blinder to make the game seem close, but the 2-1 scoreline was deceptive. The following Saturday we saw off Brecon Town 2-0 in the Gwent Cup. We’ve actually seen off the two highest-ranking teams in the competition – the survivors are all tier 6 and 7 sides.

You can see from the attendance what the fans think of this competition. The winners stand to get £150. You’re the only people who know about my motivation to win it!

[phnompenhandy]

February brought regular Saturday matches – eight more to go in the league with an eight-point safety blanket. The next round of the cup is scheduled for a free Saturday too. The first one was at 19^th placed Ashdale. As happens too often, we controlled the game, were 3-0 up, then went to sleep late on and drew 3-3. So annoying! Fields Park above us also were held to an unexpected draw, so we’re still two points behind them. The next week we let ourselves down again, drawing 1-1 with Court Farm. Our best defender was out with a two-week ‘flu bug (covid?) and his debutant stand-in wasn’t up to the task. Sigh – we’ll go again. Fields Park have imploded – somehow we’re a mere point off the top.

We were away at third-placed Caerleon Town next, on paper the toughest game of the rest of the season. It was a must-not lose game as we needed to keep them a safe distance from our automatic promotion spot. The old heads thrived under the pressure, seemingly taking the game more seriously than a routine league game. 4-1 was a very comfortable result.

The cup – round three. We travelled to Ebbw Vale to face a team from Garnlydan, midtable in Gwent Division 2. We didn’t make it easy for ourselves, but 1-0 was enough. Our reward is a quarter-final home tie with Brynmaw who are currently occupying the last (8^th) playoff spot. Coincidentally, we have just guaranteed the play-offs ourselves, and with us having surpassed the board’s and fans’ expectations in the cup, we have already achieved all their objectives – if not mine.

Back in the league, having seen off the then third-placed challenger Caerleon earlier in the month, we were now away to current third-placed side Twn Y Ffald Blues.   Injury and illness issues made me realise I’d failed to prepare adequately by organising midweek friendlies to keep the backup boys fit, so I had to call up a couple of unfit guys for that game (the oversight also put us back into the red as we crossed into March). We raised our game enough to win 2-0 while Fields Park lost at home to Brynmaw. For the first time ever, we were top of the league. Our destiny was 100% in our hands!

Edited December 27, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

It occurred to me that if we were to win the game against the moles of the Severn Tunnel, we’d be guaranteed promotion and my initial target for the season would be met. I could start surreptitiously checking for job vacancies in Ireland. We were solid at the back but the strikers bottled it and the match ended a disappointing 0-0. The next day Fields Park had a chance to knock us off top spot and blew it by losing again.

In a get-fit friendly Mike Saunders did his ankle and is out for the season. It’s a position we have no cover for other than Peter Evans who’ll have to keep playing every match in attacking midfield. We also lost a key defender – he’d asked for a contract and had accepted a promise that it would be sorted at the end of the season. The morning of a title-decider he decided to demand a contract that very morning. Ah, the beauty of having fit players ready to step in. He’s out of the club – no medal for him.

 

33 years old, never won anything in his whole career. As a key defender, poised to win his first league title and cup. Throws a hissy fit because he won't wait a month for a meaningless wageless amateur contract. What an absolute muppet.

Edited December 27, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Quarter final day – Brynmaw weren’t doing well in the league, but they’d raised their game to beat the sides in 2^nd and 3^rd in recent weeks, so we knew we’d be in a game. And we were. A titanic battle with a team we’ve never beaten this season went into extra time but we finally prevailed in a 2-1 victory. In the semi final we’ll be at home to Cwmcarn Athletic from Newbridge; they’re the league leaders of the tier above us, Gwent County League Division 2.

That title decider - if we won at Aberbargoed and Fields Park lost, we'd be six points ahead with two to play. And an inferior goal difference. Okay, not the title, but nearly! In the end it didn't matter as we conceded another one of those infuriating 90th minute goals to draw 1-1. I should have heeded my assistant's advice and given a calming team talk. Oh well, there'll be another day. Fields Park also drew. Progress in the cup has resulted in a league game being squeezed into a midweek, but I think we have the depth to cope, attacking midfield - and wingbacks - aside.

two to play - surely we can't ...

I’ve kept this quiet, but I’ve been popping down to Cardiff once a week to study for my badges. I’ll be leaving Wales with a National B licence on my CV.

Edited December 27, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Aled introduced me to the youth intake the morning before the big game. I gamely geed them along but he’d already quietly taken me aside and admitted they’re all out of shape, out of condition and would never be footballers. I’d have to release them all before I departed. Nasty.

Our final home league game was against Pontnewynydd. If we won, we were champions. If we didn’t win our fate would be in the hands of the second-string in a final league match away to Fairfield on a Wednesday evening. The seconds had just lost their last friendly (a cash-raising gift as a gesture to the chairman when I’d be handing in my resignation). Our opponents were fighting for a play-off spot so they’d be motivated to keep going until the end – knowing how soft we are in the closing stages. This time I DID hold a team meeting to take the pressure off.

[phnompenhandy]

NO

[phnompenhandy]

NO

[phnompenhandy]

NOOOOOOO

[phnompenhandy]

 

THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS!!!!!!!    

Edited December 27, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

I couldn’t trust the back ups as a whole – those first teamers who failed to secure the title on Saturday would have to try again on the Wednesday, AND get themselves up for the cup final the following Saturday and make damn sure they wouldn’t need extra time. It would have been so much easier to keep concentration for two flippin’ minutes!

Another draw! 4-4 Fourth draw in a row – is that some kind of record? But a point was enough – we’d done it. I admit to having fits on the touchline in the last five minutes – we lost our lead in the 89^th minute, but Fairfield failed to find a fifth.

 

No. I can't celebrate this. I'd already got my points for promotion, but such a ridiculous effort to finally secure the title might cost me the 4 points that I want from the Cup. We can't train ahead of the semi-final - tired limbs need an outside chance of recovering. It should never have been so difficult. Right, see you again in three days.

bah! tosh and tinsel

 

Edited December 27, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

We're staggering towards the finishing line. A win in extra time. I was genuinely concerned one of the old guys was going to have a heart attack. We have three weeks to recuperate before the final.

"Bumper crowd" you say? We had 27 at the semi.

More of a whimper than a bang

 

Edited December 27, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Here's the final league table. Champs by a slim point

 

[phnompenhandy]

The final was at the neutral ground, Parc Afon Twrch, home of Cwm Wanderers in Ystradgynlais, somewhere near Swansea. The Afon Twrch is a river in an area of outstanding natural beauty - my expectations were high. Until we arrived at the 'parc'. I must admit, for a cup final I was a little underwhelmed.

Our opponents were Rockfield Rovers from Monmouth, who finished in the play-offs in the Gwent Second Division. They had a match on the Tuesday before the final, while we were resting. They won that match, their second in their play-offs, which necessitated a third play-off, a semi-final on the day of the cup final, so our game was moved back to the Wednesday. More rest for us, more make-or-break games for them. They lost their semi-final after extra time on penalties – three days before our cup final. Mentally and physically wrecked, I felt sorry for them.  

Not enough to take advantage though. We prepared a match strategy of extra pressing and harder tackling. There were three first half goals, two by Peter Evans. They were shot in the second half, and we knew this time there would be no late sucker punch. We just held the ball and saw out the time to win the game 2-1 to claim the club's second ever trophy after the one I won them last month.

 

the double!

 

Edited December 27, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

MY haul is as follows:

 

[phnompenhandy]

6  points on the table

[phnompenhandy]

[phnompenhandy]

Here is what is immediately available at level 6 in Scotland N. Ireland and Rep. Ireland

The Republic of Ireland season is well underway. I could apply for these jobs now, or wait until something I really fancy comes up.

The league at Level 6 in Northern Ireland is only 7 reputation points, but there is only one amateur division with 14 teams in this file, so the games should be spaced out and the season quite short.

Level 6 in Scotland is a devil to get promoted from. If you win your league, you have two sets of play-offs to negotiate. It's very frustrating to win your league year after year and never go up. In this challenge, there are no points for that!

 

As it happens, I left a Scottish level 6 career with Loch Ness FC to do this example, so if I integrate the two, I can return to that one. Anyone is welcome to try their own Celtic Journeyman challenge is this appeals in any way.

Edited December 27, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[oche balboa]

Will consider this