[FM22] Climbing Jacob's Ladder Part III: The Final Chapter

[DNZY]

Almost five years to the day I began the ambitious journey known as ‘Climbing Jacob’s Ladder (Part Deux) in attempts to work my way through the lowest and most obscure Europe nations all the way to the greatest of great powers. Over half a century of thrills & spills, glories & relegations, cinderella stories and ravenous rivalries til the very end. While it has been one of my most successive and engaging stories I’ve produced for Sortitoutsi, there were times where the story became exhaustive and content grew stale – we would have never envisaged the world as it is now in 2021. As time progresses, we long for something newer, fresher and more inticing.

The third chapter is set to be written.

You can read through my previous Climbing Jacob’s Ladder (Part Deux) here: https://sortitoutsi.net/content/30294/climbing-jacobs-ladder-part-deux

Just as the British Empire conquered the four corners of the world, I attempt to conquer the English pyramid with my depleted skillset, rising through the ranks from grassroots to moneyballing across ten tiers, fifty-two divisions, fourty-eight ceremonial counties. 

What’s on offer?

TIER 1:

Premier League

TIER 2:

EFL Championship

TIER 3:

EFL League One

TIER 4:

EFL League Two

TIER 5 (Non-league Step 1):

Vanarama National League

TIER 6 (Non-league Step 2):

Vanarama National League North
Vanarama National League South

TIER 7 (Non-league Step 3):

Northern Premier League Premier Division
Southern League Central Division
Southern League South Division
Isthmian League Premier Division

TIER 8 (Non-league Step 4):

Northern Premier League Division One East
Northern Premier League Division One Midlands
Northern Premier League Division One West
Southern League Division One Central
Southern League Division One South
Isthmian League Division One South Central
Isthmian League Division One North
Isthmian League Division One South East

TIER 9 (Non-league Step 5):

Combined Counties League Premier Division North
Combined Counties League Premier Division South
Eastern Counties League Premier Division
Essex Senior League
Hellenic League Premier Division
Midland League Premier Division
North West Counties League Premier Division
Northern Counties East League Premier Division
Northern League Division One
Southern Combination League Premier Division
Southern Counties East League Premier Division
Spartan South Midlands League Premier Division
United Counties League Premier Division North
United Counties League Premier Division South
Wessex League Premier Division
Western League Premier Division

TIER 10: (Non-league Step 6):

Combined Counties League Division One
Eastern Counties League Division One North
Eastern Counties League Division One South
Hellenic League Division One
Midland League Division One
North West Counties League Division One North
North West Counties League Division One South
Northern Counties East League Division One
Northern League Division Two
South West Peninsula League Premier Division East
South West Peninsula League Premier Division West
Southern Combination League Division One
Southern Counties East League Division One
Spartan South Midlands League Division One
United Counties League Division One
Wessex League Division One
Western League Division One

DOMESTIC CUPS (National):

FA Cup
EFL Cup
Community Shield
FA Trophy
FA Vase

DOMESTIC CUPS (Regional):

Isthmian League Cup
Northern Premier League Challenge Cup
Southern League Cup
Combined Counties League Cup
Eastern Counties League Cup
Essex Senior League Cup
Hellenic League Cup
Midland League Cup
North West Counties League Cup
Northern Counties East League Cup
Northern League Cup
Southern Combination League Cup
Southern Counties East League Cup
Spartan South Midlands League Cup
United Counties League Cup
Wessex League Cup
Western League Cup
South West Peninsula League Cup

Ceremonial Counties List:

Bedfordshire
Berkshire
Bristol
Buckinghamshire
Cambridgeshire
Cheshire
City of London
Cornwall
Cumbria
Derbyshire
Devon
Dorset
County Durham
East Riding of Yorkshire
East Sussex
Essex
Gloucestershire
Greater London
Greater Manchester
Hampshire
Herefordshire
Hertfordshire
Isle of Wight
Kent
Lancashire
Leicestershire
Lincolnshire
Merseyside
Norfolk
North Yorkshire
Northamptonshire
Northumberland
Nottinghamshire
Oxfordshire
Rutland
Shropshire
Somerset
South Yorkshire
Staffordshire
Suffolk
Surrey
Tyne and Wear
Warwickshire
West Midlands
West Sussex
West Yorkshire
Wiltshire
Worcestershire
Isle of Man *
Channel Islands (Guernsey, Jersey) *

* - not official ceremonial counties but have clubs within the English domestic football league pyramid.

 

Rules for this challenge:

- Must start at a club in the tenth tier of English pyramid.

- You cannot manage in the next tier until a minimum of half the leagues (or subsequent county cups available) have been won (e.g. you must win 10 out of 20 leagues in tier 10 before proceeding to tier 9).

- Must win an honour with at least one club located in each ceremonial county (including Isle of Man, Channel Islands).

- All national domestic cups must be won at least once in the career (FA Cup, EFL Cup, Community Shield, EFL Trophy, FA Trophy, FA Vase).

- Regional domestic cups are optional but qualify as an honour to move up to next tier.

- Can only move to a club located in the same county as current club or in a county that shares a border (exceptions to this are Isle of Man, Channel Islands).

- Cannot manage a team listed as preseason favourites.

This will be an insanely difficult challenge to complete, but is one I’m willing to pursue for years to come. There’ll no doubt be major obstacles to overcome.

Credits must go to ‘lionel messi’ from the SI forums who put in an amazing amount of effort into providing this Level 10 database for said challenge. 

Make sure you support him here where you’ll also find the download of the database: https://community.sigames.com/forums/topic/559279-fm22-england-down-to-level-10-now-available-for-download/

So, let’s start at the beginning shall we?

A team full of either semi-pros who had trials at West Ham (supposedly), or in most cases amateurs rounded up from the local five-a-side astroturfs. Training under the floodflights on cold Tuesday nights.

The píss soaked, delapatated away dressing rooms full of broken tiles and no hot water for the showers.
 
The deluged, mudbathed or rock-hard frozen pitches during the winter periods. 

The season ticket holders and the local characters, knowing each on a first name basis; travelling to each outing with their soft caps full of pinned crests, a can of Carlsberg in one hand, a lukewarm steak & kidney pie in the other shouting “you’re f***** s***” when the opposition lump a ball into the car park.

The unbelievable sitters squandered, the outrageous screamers, the crunching slide tackles, the two footers, the half time Jaffa cakes.

We wouldn’t have it any other way. Never forget where you came from.

This is the final chapter of Climbing Jacob’s Ladder.

Edited February 27, 2022 by DNZY

[DNZY]

The First Job:

County: Cornwall
Division: South West Peninsula League Premier Division West (10th Tier)
Stadium: Trefew Park (Capacity: 1000)
Media Prediction (Odds): 3rd/18 (25-1)
Expectations: Challenge for top three

County: Cornwall
Division: South West Peninsula League Premier Division West (10th Tier)
Stadium: Pennygillam (Capacity: 1000)
Media Prediction (Odds): 6th/18 (33-1)
Expectations: Top three finish

County: Cornwall
Division: South West Peninsula League Premier Division West (10th Tier)
Stadium: Penlee Park (Capacity: 5000)
Media Prediction (Odds): 5th/18 (33-1)
Expectations: Midtable finish

County: Cornwall
Division: South West Peninsula League Premier Division West (10th Tier)
Stadium: Gala Parc (Capacity: 1500)
Media Prediction (Odds): 15th/18 (50-1)
Expectations: Midtable finish

County: Cornwall
Division: South West Peninsula League Premier Division West (10th Tier)
Stadium: Poltair Park (Capacity: 6000)
Media Prediction (Odds): 17th/18 (50-1)
Expectations: Midtable finish

County: Cornwall
Division: South West Peninsula League Premier Division West (10th Tier)
Stadium: Bodieve Park (Capacity: 1500)
Media Prediction (Odds): 13th/18 (33-1)
Expectations: Midtable finish

Offers:

 

Two offers on the table to consider, one's expectations greater than the other yet tendered with the same odds by the bookies. Both at amateur level with squads lacking senior numbers, although that is to be regular at this level. A lot to ponder heading into the first season.

[DNZY]

Nickname(s): The Magpies
Founded: 1888
Club colours: Black & white stripes
Stadium: Penlee Park (capacity: 1,100 – 550 seated)

 

Ahoy there! The first stop of many scattered around the length and breadth of England takes us to the town famous for pirates and uh..*checks notes*..more pirates. Tucked away secretively along the most south-western arm of the nation, Penzance AFC are one of the older clubs at a lower league standard. Established in 1888, the same year of the formation of the Football League, this Cornwall based amateur team helped pave the way for recognition of a footballing association in the county and a founding member of the South Western League. 

The Magpies flew highest between 1955 and 1957, securing back to back SWL titles and again in 1975 pipping Saltash United by a single point. Recent success came in the form of winning the newly formed South West Peninsula Division One West division, gaining promotion to the 9th tier for the first time in 2009...only to be relegated four years later, securing 2 points and conceding an eye-watering 166 goals in the process. 

Penlee Park is Penzance’s fortress and one of the more ‘picturesque’ stadiums down at this level. Info may have been exaggerated in the previous post about their capacity - which is now believed to be 1100 with one stand seating 550. Opened in 1952 by the former referee Sir Stanley Rous it welcomed an exhibition game between them and Luton Town. Stadium also accomodated its biggest attendance of 7,000 as West Ham took on Swansea - not to mention special outings with both Liverpool and Celtic in 1988 to celebrate 100 years of Penzance AFC’s existence, both ending in 6-0 defeats. 

Fun fact about Penlee Park; Penzance were one of several teams refused into any FA competitions in 2012 due to the lack of toilet facilities in home/away dressing rooms and the referee room. Thankfully this was addressed with haste.

Penlee Park also featured in an article titled 20 Glorious Non-League Grounds posted by 'The Itinerant Football Watcher' aka Peter Miles which you can find here: https://peterrmiles.wordpress.com/2013/01/11/20-glorious-non-league-grounds/

SEASON EXPECTATIONS:

Understandably the chairperson doesn't consider me a miracle worker given my skillsets, or lack thereof. Going in blind on basing off the bookiematics, mid to top half finish is well within our sights. Would it be fair to say we have no chance in challenging Bodmin Town, one of only a handful of sides who can offer wage packages to former forgotten football leaguers? FA Vase I'm hoping can rake in a bit of dough, if all else fails the South West Peninsula League Cup might be the only way to go.

SQUAD:

With the lack of an assistant manager, I've to go purely on instinctive evaluations of what level this squad is like compared to others. Spoilers, they're not the most gifted bunch I've inherited. With help of the key player widget on the club overview, I can narrow it down to our goalkeeper.

KEY PLAYER: Glenn Davies (GK)

Tall presence to win the aerial battles from corners, relatively agile and solid on the reflexes, there are certainly a lot worse players I could pick from. Let's just say I wouldn't favour him in a sprint race - would rather him staying well inside the six yard box.

SCHEDULE:

First few fixtures on paper seem like winnable games however tactics will be tested, tweaked, establishing our best XI - we can consider them throwaways. End of October into November will likely be our rough patch with away trips to Bodmin & Falmouth either side of a home fixture to Launceston (the team I turned down). Not sure what to expect if this experiment will be a success or a complete dud.

Edited March 7, 2022 by DNZY