The Way of the Llama, or FM as an RPG - Sponsored by Trip Advisor

[Junkhead]

Introduction

For some, FM is about winning everything in sight with their favourite teams.  Others like to start at the bottom and bring a local club to the top, or job-hop their way through the hall of fame.  For others, though, there is only one way.  The LLaMa way.

It's not just about starting at the bottom, but about playing the game as realistically as possible.  Offered a job higher up that seems to big a jump?  Reject it.  Need a left winger and have just watched one pull a team apart on the TV?  Got to scout him first.  Come across a tactic somewhere that promises constant success? No way.
The LLaMa premise is simple, and many of us out there play exclusively in this way.  There used to be an area of the forum dedicated to playing this way but, for various reasons, it is no longer around.  The FM Realism Thread (link below) on General Discussion forum revives this in a single thread, and @Brother Ben has created an outstanding website at https://www.the9llamas.com/ for anyone interested in giving it a go.  In a nutshell, the rules listed there are; 
·         Start in the lowest league of a nation
·         Use only your own tactics
·         Use only your own training schedules
·         Use Scouts to find players not the player  search function
·         Only sign staff through the job centre
·         Always use the original game database
·         No exploiting of the game – play realistically
·         No reloads (save scumming)
·         No outside help (Good player guides, tactics advice)
·         Play honestly

Last but not least, ask yourself "is this realistic" and you won't go far wrong.

Personally I stick to each of these rules religiously except the one about the original database.  Once upon a time, all you could really do in the editor is change player attributes and bank balances.  Now a days there are so many additional leagues and brilliant add ons which can enhance the game and increase realism.  Everyone will have their own opinions on this, but at the end of the day we all play to have fun.  Therefore, I love using things like @Daveincid's Increased realism pack, as well as @davie77'sadditional leagues.  I will NEVER include fantasy leagues though, or any of the various files that change player attributes in line with what the creator believes to be "realistic".  For me, additional leagues and things like colours and ticket prices fine, upping player stats not fine.

In this update, I shall be playing FM as if it were a role playing game, gaining skills as I go. I will begin with no specific skills or attributes in a random destination.  Each of the visions outlined in my board will be considered a quest which will help me on my way to my ultimate goal, which is topping the world hall of fame and obtaining as many of the Steam achievements as possible. As well as updating on my save, I will also explore the weird and wonderful places where my character ends up.  I will not be sharing player names (unless the player is a newgen), nor going in depth on tactics as this is not the LLaMa way.

I am a serial start againer, and I am hoping that this update thread keeps me going!
 

 

Edited January 17, 2022 by Junkhead

[Brother Ben]

Looking forward to this.  The Yellow Llama has some great suggestions this year if you're stuck on who to choose  

[Junkhead]

1: Out of The Void

Character creation when playing FM as an RPG is simple - let a Llama do it!  An old, grey Llama to be precise.  Some of you may remember Frank, the Grandfather of all Llamas.  He hasn't been seen since 2009 when, somehow, he was sucked inside people's i-Phones to assist them via an app.  The app was discontinued and I guess, so was Frank.  Here he is look;

If there is one thing that Frank was good at (aside from shouting out the name of random lower league football clubs from around the globe, it was sowing his wild oats and, thankfully, his descendants picked up some of his other skills too.  Following the demise of my last save, I needed a way out of the void, I needed to be transported somewhere new, with fresh challenges, interesting scenery and probably a horrendous back four.  So I asked the oldest and greyest Llama of them all, over at https://www.the9llamas.com/llmpicker/llmpicker22-grey-llama.  He's an interesting fellow, but good at picking teams for aspiring LLaMa's at random.  It took him a while on account of his age and poor diction, but eventually, he beckoned me close.  Too close (halitosis), but it was worth it.  He uttered the words....

Kremin Kremenchuk.

I turned to leave, but he called me back to deliver his final message...

Brilliant.

Edited January 17, 2022 by Junkhead

[Junkhead]

5 minutes ago, Brother Ben said:

Looking forward to this.  The Yellow Llama has some great suggestions this year if you're stuck on who to choose  

Haha, I've heard - Old Grey has sorted me out though, as much as he ever does...

[Junkhead]

2: In the Beginning

And so, as decreed by Old Grey himself, I now find myself in Ukraine.  Kremin Kremenchuk play in the second tier and with the bottom four going down, are favourites to fill the last relegation spot. 

Whoever finishes 12th will end up in a relegation play off, and Girnyk are my big local rivals.  Side Quest # 1 will obviously be to send them down whilst staying up myself.

The man tasked with this job?  Meet Motlokh Kerivnyk (thank you google translate).

As you can see, he's not very good.  But he's a local lad, and a supporter of the club he now manages, and at only 20, he has an entire ocarina's worth of time ahead of him.

And now, the quest begins, as Motlokh sits up, rubs his eyes, and looks at this strange new world that he finds himself in.

This.  Is.  Kremenchuk!

[Junkhead]

3: Pre-Season or Cut your own damn cheese, Dmytro

Pretty pleased with this.  The first game was against my parent club, who are predicted to come 5th in the top tier.  The manner of the defeat wasn't great and we were very lucky to keep it to two.  A rethink was required, so I decided to treat my Coaching team to a meal at the brilliantly named restaurant "Sad".  The £1k per week Kremin are paying me easily covers rent, so why not?

I went for the Steak which strangely came with a bit of banana on it, whilst the Goalkeeping Coach embarassed us all by demanding that the waiter cut his cheese into bite size chunks.  The idiot.  Whilst there, we finalised our tactic for the season which would revolve around the only thing we are good at - running really fast.

        

Better results followed against a host of local lower league sides,  Those results spurred us on to a victory against top division side Olexandriya at home, which was a lovely surprise.  It's difficult to know how things will pan out in the league though, as friendlies are always so different.  Luckily we play at home twice, and I've promised the lads a trip to a local water park if we finish July with at least 4 points.

Edited January 18, 2022 by Junkhead

[karanhsingh]

Good luck with this! Love the ultra realism. 

[Sonic Youth]

Grass Roots is what I know this level as, not crazy aggressive loyal creatures 

Be careful of that banana, as it looks like someone took a bite out of it!

 

[Junkhead]

4: July 2021

My first full month here in Ukraine is complete, and things are looking slightly rosier than I originally worried they might be.  Indeed, it appears as if the Old Grey Llama might have done be a bit of a solid here.

As the month begun, I placed some adverts to try and flesh out my backroom staff.  I had no assistant, so got one, and was sick of hearing my players complain about the standard of Strength and Quickness training (which I was conducting) so I also got a fitness coach in.  I am of little use on the training ground myself at the moment as I don't feel it's realistic to demand a coaching course straight away & when on a 1 year contract.  I believe the board would wait & see how I got on.

And, once the competitive fixtures started, I found that I actually got on very well indeed.  It makes me wonder why a couple of my players chucked their toys out of the pram when I suggested that staying up was possible.  I actually think I will do rather better than that on this showing;

Whilst the first couple of results were flattering (I scored early against Obolon & then defended for my life, and got a very lucky late equalizer against Prykarpattya), the first away game of the season against Polissya certainly wasn't as I took them to pieces in front of 13 away fans.  A thirteen hour round trip worth taking if you ask me.  Polissya play in Zhytomyr, and the overnight stay allowed us a bit of team bonding time at the "60 minutes Quest Room", a local escape room.  Not only did the team building seem to contribute massively towards the result, we were also helped by the fact that three of our players failed to escape and got locked in (below).  Oh well.

Anyway, this put is in a decent position in the league, although it is early days.  I suspect we will have a much better idea about where we are at after a very busy August.

As promised, with the four point target achieved in July, I took the squad to Aquapark Polo City in Kremenchuk, which should have been an enjoyable day out for all of us, however my back up centre half was arrested for trying to kidnap a couple of local children.  He wasn't, he was trying to help them avoid a mostly submerged blue plaster that he had seen floating towards them both, but they kicked up a bit of a commotion.  This meant that the chairman had to spend the afternoon on the phone to the authorities to try and get him out of trouble.  Might not end up being here long as this was apparently "the final straw with this absolute load of clowns we employ" and now he wants to sell the club.  

Brilliant.

 

[Brother Ben]

Doing a better job than the Ukrainian tourist board!  KUTGW!

Edited January 20, 2022 by Brother Ben

[Sonic Youth]

2 hours ago, Brother Ben said:

Doing a better job than the Ukrainian tourist board!  KUTGW!

 

[Sonic Youth]

2 hours ago, Junkhead said:

4: July 2021

My first full month here in Ukraine is complete, and things are looking slightly rosier than I originally worried they might be.  Indeed, it appears as if the Old Grey Llama might have done be a bit of a solid here.

As the month begun, I placed some adverts to try and flesh out my backroom staff.  I had no assistant, so got one, and was sick of hearing my players complain about the standard of Strength and Quickness training (which I was conducting) so I also got a fitness coach in.  I am of little use on the training ground myself at the moment as I don't feel it's realistic to demand a coaching course straight away & when on a 1 year contract.  I believe the board would wait & see how I got on.

And, once the competitive fixtures started, I found that I actually got on very well indeed.  It makes me wonder why a couple of my players chucked their toys out of the pram when I suggested that staying up was possible.  I actually think I will do rather better than that on this showing;

Whilst the first couple of results were flattering (I scored early against Obolon & then defended for my life, and got a very lucky late equalizer against Prykarpattya), the first away game of the season against Polissya certainly wasn't as I took them to pieces in front of 13 away fans.  A thirteen hour round trip worth taking if you ask me.  Polissya play in Zhytomyr, and the overnight stay allowed us a bit of team bonding time at the "60 minutes Quest Room", a local escape room.  Not only did the team building seem to contribute massively towards the result, we were also helped by the fact that three of our players failed to escape and got locked in (below).  Oh well.

Anyway, this put is in a decent position in the league, although it is early days.  I suspect we will have a much better idea about where we are at after a very busy August.

As promised, with the four point target achieved in July, I took the squad to Aquapark Polo City in Kremenchuk, which should have been an enjoyable day out for all of us, however my back up centre half was arrested for trying to kidnap a couple of local children.  He wasn't, he was trying to help them avoid a mostly submerged blue plaster that he had seen floating towards them both, but they kicked up a bit of a commotion.  This meant that the chairman had to spend the afternoon on the phone to the authorities to try and get him out of trouble.  Might not end up being here long as this was apparently "the final straw with this absolute load of clowns we employ" and now he wants to sell the club.  

Brilliant.

 

So much trouble going on around here!

I’m not even going to ask what the chairman was thinking, but will say that those three probably are better left in that room and not in your team (especially the one on the right with the freaky eyes). Other than that, everything seems to be going swimmingly. Well except for that incident in the pool with that “blue plaster” that is 

[Junkhead]

5: August 2021

Came back down to Earth with a bit of a bang in August, although I still have no real worries that we'll be relegated.

The cup game was disappointing, but then I did choose to rest a few players as the games had been coming thick and fast.  The board weren't too disappointed with the cup exit, either because we're doing ok in the league standings still, or because the chairman is still desperate to sell.  I spent a lot of the month sorting my backroom staff out via the job centre, and I now have a reasonable backroom team.  

 

I have an offer in for a decent physio, and once he is signed I will be changing responsibilities so that the DOF sorts out the staff within the B-team and u19's.

The number of away games meant I could see more of the country, but things were ruined a bit before the defeat at Kryvbas.  I was awoken at about 3am to the sound of people trying to be quiet, but not actually being so.  The following morning at breakfast I asked the squad if they had broken curfew and been out the night before, which of course they denied.  I had my suspicions though, mainly because one of them still had sick down his front.  Either way, I gave them benefit of the doubt.  Then, whilst doing my half time toilet, I noticed this review, posted under the name of "Kremin midfielder" on Trip Advisor for the local Esenin Karaoke & Club (Translated from Ukrainian) ;

 

Edited January 27, 2022 by Junkhead

[Platinum]

Didn't know you had made this, keep it up!

[Junkhead]

6: September 2021

The games in Ukraine REALLY come thick & fast.  There are 30 games a season at this level and, already, I've played 14 of them.  This is because there is a mid-season winter break which is actually LONGER than the summer one.  We will play no games in December, January or February, and only one in March.  After an up and down August, September was faultless - and I am seeing a bit of a pattern emerging here!

There were some important developments behind the scenes as well, as the proposed takeover collapsed.  The Club is still for sale, but I took the opportunity to capitalise on my A+ board rating & asked for a new contract, which I was given - on the same terms for an extra year, until June 2023.  This meant that I was comfortable it would be realistic for the board to invest in my future so I asked to be allowed to complete my National C license, which was also authorised by the club.

We look good for at least a play off spot, but with the top two going up automatically, I am quietly hopeful.  I can't recall a career where I've ever gone up first season, so to be playing at the top level in a country like Ukraine just a year in would be a fantastic start.

After the win against Alliance, the lads wanted to grab a bite to eat so I took them for some dinner at "Loft Restaurant" in Sumy.  It was bloody horrendous.  Some of the dishes served are below;

Pizza with fish base instead of bread base

 

Chicken Kiev with merangue & strawberry sauce

And finally, whatever the Hell this is;