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Mario Glorihunter


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The Premiss
I enjoy playing with limitations, the limitation in this career update will be to make every decision follow the logic of the fictional manager Mario Glorihunter. This post will be dedicated solely to his profile and will act as a reference to future choices.



Mario was a international footballer for England and can best be described as a “fox in the box”, much like the Italian Luca Toni. He was strong, could finish with both feet and was always at the right spot to tap it in. Unlike most English footballers, Mario didn’t spend much of his career in England. He was adventures by nature and left England for Italy at the age of 17 after being scouted Parma. Mario became a bit of a journeyman in his career, playing for several Italian clubs, two years in Spain playing for Valencia, and ended his career in Argentina for River Plate. Because of his outspoken and controversial personality, Mario was wanted as a pundit for skysports when he hanged up his boots. Mario wanted to return to England, not as a pundit but as a manager.

Tony Pulis achieved promotion trough playoffs with Middlesbrough in 2018/19.  Owner Steve Gibson appreciated the work Pulis had done and then made the bold move to fire him. Gibson wanted to raise the profile and marketability of the club, something which would not have been possible under Pulis. Mario managed to sell himself to Gibson and the board with his charisma, high ambitions and self-proclaimed tactical knowledge. Mario demanded to be able to have full control of transfers for the senior team and to hire an assistant manager of his choice.

Mario as a manager:

Despite claiming to be an astute tactician, Mario doesn’t have a philosophy or strong tactical knowledge. He believes winning is simply about having the best players, motivating them and giving them the freedom to perform. As far as tactics go, Mario simply copies bits and pieces from other teams and managers. Mario does, however, have a few preferences, like playing with a striker much similar to himself (a strong striker with the intelligence and finishing ability of a poacher), and using lots of technical players as he was accustomed to playing with during his days in Italy, Spain and Argentina. Mario prefers to use his strongest XI whenever possible as they have the highest chance of winning. The XI knows who they are and the rest will have to accept not being among them.

Player recruitment
One thing Mario does not want is anonymous transfers. He values players that can bring headlines when they arrive, players with international experience, with exotic names. Mario could easily be the type of manager to buy an international player based on his performance in the World Cup, totally disregarding club performances. Eastern European players was a thing to avoid in most cases, they just weren’t fashionable in his eyes. While not being particularly interested in young players, Mario can make exceptions if a young player is often mentioned in the media.

Development of players isn’t something Mario gets involved with. He is satisfied with leaving it up to his coaching team, Mario is more of a big picture guy. Mario does have his coaching badges, he just has no interest in improving in this area as his past player experience is more than enough to get jobs.

The only things Mario cares about when it comes to money is how much he gets to spend. He has no concerns about overspending on transfers or wages, it’s simply not his job. He is there to win football matches, and he needs the right players to do so, no matter the cost. If he doesn't get the resources he thinks he needs, he might leak it to the press.

Mario enjoys talking to the press, sending sly remarks to other managers and teams. He is very loyal to his own players in the media, often praising them and disregarding criticism that comes their way. Mario will not tolerate anyone that publicly questions his competence, Mario is never the cause of a problem, he is the solution. To not be blamed, Mario can without hesitation throw someone else under the bus.

The manager sits at the top and if you challenge him you will regret it. This is how Mario wants to rule his squad, players need to be loyal, otherwise, they have the choice to leave. Likewise, a loyal player can expect to be rewarded with more playing time and new contracts, given that they also perform of course.

Mario doesn’t have ambitions for the club as much as he has ambitions for himself. He is only interested in short term results to bolster his own achievements. Clubs can change the manager several times per season, so Mario sees no reason to care about long term goals. His own ambition is to manage is favourite club Real Madrid.

Edited by teoememy
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Summer Transfers 2019:


Mario Glorihunter has clear ambitions of bringing in players that could raise the quality, experience and mentality for Middlesbrough. The team now has a real leader in Hart, a strong poacher in Gomez, a creative Argentinian in Lamela, experienced playmaker in Ki Sung-Yeung who will also raise our profile in Asia,  and added much needed attacking ability to our left back position by bringing in Peruvian Miguel Trauco. Callum Gribbin is a former Man Utd youth player who our DoF brought in.
Players like Stuart Downing, Braithwaite, and Georg Friend among others had to leave to make room for new players.  In addition to our new players, Mario would have to rely on a Ryan Shotton (typical Pulis man with long throws), Ben Davis (a half decent technical defender), and Aden Flint who had the vision of Ray Charles. Paddy Mcnair would team up with Sung-Yeung in central midfield,  Assombalonga and Middlesbrough youth product Tavernier would rotate on the left. Lamela would either be a AML or AMC, leaving room for Gribbin to play (who is actually decent when it comes to technique, just awful mental stats).


Dennis Bergkamp is brought in as assistant manager. Player experience is the key to automatically gain respect among players, which is why Mario also brought in Rivaldo as DoF.
In preseason the players spent time getting used to playing 4231, counter pressing and overlapping wingbacks. Mario takes inspiration from Klopp and Guardiola and will try to implement some of their methods into his team. For this to work Mario will need more financial power as the team still lacks an attacking right back, ball playing defenders with some pace, a box to box player with better passing and dribbling, and a right-footed left winger with high ability. Mario will still insist on playing according to his ambitions if it doesn't work it just proves his point of needing better players.

Results August 2019:
Zero points after four league matches and an early exit from the Carabao Cup. When questioned by the press Mario blamed that the players still aren't used to the tactics, it will take some time when they are used to Pulis hoofball. In the meantime Darren Randolph (first choice GK before Hart arrived) is pissed that Stevert Downing, who was a real leader in the dressing room, was let go. Mario told him to get on with it, which caused more outrage. Georg Saville and Howsen (central midfielders who contributed a lot to Middlesbrough's promotion) are among the influential players to support Randolph, bringing the moral further down. Thankfully, Hart is supportive of Mario and has already established himself as a leader in the squad.

Edited by teoememy
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