Benjoe Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 18 hours ago, kidthekid said: tough one in the Europa, but the progress is there!!! Really hurt as I was only prepared for a defeat in the final! But indeed, we are getting closer now! 5 hours ago, dllu said: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 22nd May, 2021 34th round of 1. Bundesliga, Hardtwaldstadion, Sandhausen SKY Broadcast, hosts Franz Beckenbauer and Lothar Matthäus, guest experts Gerd Müller and Oliver Kahn. Field journalist, Jens Lehmann. Beckenbauer enters the studio as Matthäus is already standing, waiting impatiently at the table. LM: "Aber that was also about time, Franzie!" FB: "Ja, ja ja. I'm here now, we'll get this **** match over soon enough." Gerd Müller and Oliver Kahn are standing a few feet from the table. Müller is talking lividly and laughing. Kahn nods. Meanwhile the tension between 'Franzie' and Lothar is getting more and more tense. ... The final day of the season had come - about time, Kurt Günter thought to himself, standing in the dressing room for the coaches. Meanwhile Hinterqueer was standing in front of the mirror in his tights, making extreme pose after extreme pose. Outside of the dressing room it was anything but peaceful. The stadium at Sandhausen was sold out yet, there was hardly any Sandhausen fans to spot 2 hours prior to kick off. The FIFA paid mercenaries had stormed the Sandhausen faithfuls club house just 2 hours prior to the game and left it in a state of disarray. The mercenaries, bloodied from the storm rushed the gates as well in the end the faithfuls usual stood. They completely wrecked it. Media was filming and watching the show happening before their eyes with fear. Baffled by the redundancy from the polizei standing outside of the stadium. "Just wait, Munich. We're coming for you next week!" Was written on a black and red banner that was hung in the faithful's end. The banner was accompanied by the mercenaries usual logo. House Bolton's flayed man. Soon after the mercenaries disappeared from the stands, but the banner stayed. ... Back in the football studio Kahn and Müller had joined Beckenbauer and Matthäus. FB: "What a shitshow out there huh!" he spat as he swallowed a chuckle. LM: "Ja, das ist sehr slecht! What poseys those Sandhausers are!" Kahn nodded. GM: "Ja, but they will soon enough be relegated. The quicker, ze better!" FB: "What lovely colors on that banner as well. That man looks to be having some fun." Kahn nodded. FB: "I guess we should see what Jens is up to!" The camera feed cuts to Jens running around trying to find a booth selling frankfurters, but all the personnel has left as the Frauds have attacked everybody near. ... As the players came out to warm up, Kurt Günter went to the studio for a quick chat before the game. FB: "Ah, ja, wilkommen!" After shaking Kurt Günter's hand, Beckenbauer grabbed a bottle of hand sanitizer to clean his hands. Kahn nodded, shook Kurt Günter's hand and promptly tried to copy Beckenbauer. He had no hand sanitizer though, so he just spat into his hands and slammed them together. Done. Matthäus was impatient. "What do you think about the claims that you are some dirty frauds? I mean, I shouldn't say claims. It's quite clear. Last week there was leaked footage of some of your paid mercenaries smashing the hip of the Sandhausen defensive main piece, Manuel Gulde, and today we've seen them assault multiple Sandhausers. Do you support this?" Kurt Günter started smiling. "Ja, ja das macht mich sehr geil, ja." LM: "It makes you horny to hear the reports?!" Kurt Günter nodded. Few seconds after Oliver Kahn nodded too. A few more negative comments was asked, along with doubts about Fraudenhal's chances against Bayern Munich the following week in the Pokal final. Before the hosts and experts - and Kahn - could get too many negative comments in, Kurt Günter snapped his fingers. Into the camera feed, very blatantly, Hinterqueer handed bags with "€€€" on it to the 4 Bayern Munich frauds. FB: "Well, that changes everything." LM: "Ja, it sure does. Let's see what Jens is doing now!" The feed transmitted Jens, standing inside one of the booths making, eating and selling frankfurters that he cooked himself. ... The rest of the interview went past quickly as the two hosts, Gerd Müller and Oliver kahn left to get some of Jens' frankfurters. Meanwhile the preview for the game carried on with info about the main guys for both of the two teams. Following the last clips in the preview the game was ready to be started as none of the hosts or experts - or Kahn or Lehmann - were present. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 4th minute of the game. Hinterqueer has barely found his seat yet on the bench as he's been out finding café lattes. Perov receives the ball from Dahl and cuts towards the middle of the pitch in possesion. Buchele takes a brilliant run in behind the defence and Perov spots it. Buchele gets to the ball first and first times it against the near post! Gooooooooal! 1-0!! Fraudzenegger is ice cold on the bench. Mostly because he got a frozen frappuchino from Hinterqueer. What a queer choice. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 14 minutes played. Update from Stuttgart reports that Schalke has a 0-2 lead! This means that with a win, Fraudenhal will pass Stuttgart on 3rd and take a Champions League spot!!! EDIT: I'm a blind idiot. 0-1 to Schalke. The other result is Hertha's.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 Also in the 14th minute. Constant Soro Y1B plays a ball behind the defence to full back Baba Rahman. Baba gets to the goal line and crosses it to the back post. Marcus Mortensen Y1I gets his head on, but he's a horrible header and hit the post.. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 8 minutes ago, Benjoe said: 14 minutes played. Update from Stuttgart reports that Schalke has a 0-2 lead! This means that with a win, Fraudenhal will pass Stuttgart on 3rd and take a Champions League spot!!! EDIT: I'm a blind idiot. 0-1 to Schalke. The other result is Hertha's.... Stuttgart has equalized... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 21st minute of the game Perov wins a header in the middle of the pitch and quickly spots a completely naked Marcus Mortensen Y1I on the right flank and pulls a long pass out of his pocket. Marcus takes it with him on the first touch and gets past all defenders. In front of the goal Buchele has yet again taken a brilliant run and Marcus crosses it to him. GOAAAAL! 0-2 as Buchele puts away the easy chance. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 35th minute Buchele fires a long shot at goal but it grazes the crossbar and ends in the empty east stand, where Fraudenhal banners are the only presence. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 39th minute Buchele, yet again, with a good pass to Marcus. The defenders are quick to close him down, but that opens space for Dahl. Marcus finds him with a pass and it's surely a must-score chance for Dahl! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 Also 39th minute Update from Stuttgart! Stuttgart has scored their 2nd of the game... Fraudenhal's 3rd place hopes lie in the hands of a Schalke team, who has crumbled since hearing of Fraudenhal's succes. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 46th minute Constant Soro Y1B with a brilliant long shot effort, but the post denies him. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 59th minute Goal to Stuttgart again. 3-1 now. Cementing the faith of Fraudenhal and their loss of 3rd... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 Adding ****ing insult to injury. Perov twisted his weak knees like a little schoolgirl, and now he'll miss the game against Bayern......... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 29th of May, 2021 DFB-Pokal Final, Olympiastadion, Berlin Preview: And it's on! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 3 minutes played Fraudenhal has been in possesion most of the first few minutes as they venture into Bayern's half. Marcus Mortensen Y1I tries a dip over the defence to find Jakob Dahl. Dahl receives the ball but is quickly tackled by a forward storming Boateng. The ball ends back at Mortensen feet and this time he fancies the chance himself! How did Neuer not save that! Unbelievable! 0-1 to Fraudenhal! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 6th minute Hysaj finds pockets of space out right and crosses into the middle when he closed down. Müller gets the ball and quickly finds Coutinho behind the defensive line with a through ball. One-on-one with Tobias Sørensen Y1D, but Coutinho wastes his chance as his shot is straight on Sørensen who parries it away. 0-1 still. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 30th minute Fraudenhal has been the team in possesion, but Bayern the team creating and shooting the most. Kimmich finds himself free on the right side after a pass from Müller. He sends a drilled cross into the box and strikes Vestergaard with the ball. The ball bounces from Vestergaard and into the feet of Coutinho who sends a precise shot towards the post! And it beats Sørensen in the goal! ****. 1-1! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 34th minute Constant Soro Y1B finds 17 year old Kristian Juul with a pass as Juul beats his man on his first touch! But he sends the shot wide of the target. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 Half time Fraudenhal changes system as first half ended with a Bayern side taking complete control. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 48th minute Emre Can is carried off pitch. Jakub Jankto sent in to replace. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 61st minute Some nice combinations from Fraudenhal in Bayern's half ends with a long shot from Buchele. Neuer parries it to a corner. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 63rd minute Niklas Stark commits an idiotic penalty on Lewandowski! Following a solid 20 minutes from Fraudenhal this could change the dynamics of the game! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 David Alaba takes the penalty! BUT IT'S SAVED BY SØRENSEN! STILL 1-1! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 76th minute Vujinovic has been on the pitch less than 10 minutes as he wins a header following a goal kick. Dahl reaches the ball and is completely alone on his path to goal. He fires a shot just as he is tackled! He did it! JAAAAAAAAAA! 1-2 to the Fraudes! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 79th minute Same recipe as with the 1-2 goal. Vujinovic wins a header that sends Dahl through, but this time Neuer saves the shot. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 91st minute Constant Soro Y1B is running the show in midfield. After patiently waiting for the opening he finds Dahl taking a brilliant break from the defender! Dahl first times the ball! 1-3!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 Full time! We did it boys! Tonight it won't be Müller and Neuer dancing, but Constant and Dahl! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 Season Review Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dllu Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 Notice Meyer. twit. Mhmmm. The board directors pulling the correct strings to improve our sponsorship deals which in turn could improve the bonus payments they'll be paid. Beautiful stuff. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 Seeing Oliver Helmes getting the Golden shoe made me curious how the rest of the world cup had gone for the u20s. They got to the final, and decided to **** themselves up royally. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fer Fuchs Ake Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 7 hours ago, Benjoe said: Full time! We did it boys! Tonight it won't be Müller and Neuer dancing, but Constant and Dahl! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 Just a few cheap punts. Might've paid a bit too much for Bresgen. Especially seeing as I'm heavily considering a move for Perov to be right winger in future so suddenly we'll have an abundance of right wingers. We'll see. Holla if you want to see any of them. Also, who the **** scheduled and approved of this ****? Walker Testimonial?! I hate that ****ing ****. Hope we beat them big time. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidthekid Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 wow, this save is weird, you are winning things.. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fer Fuchs Ake Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 How did Janssen fraud his way onto the score sheet? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dllu Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 Off-topic: I have never noticed before, but happy Gob and happy Carlton have exactly the same facial expression! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 24, 2018 Author Share Posted August 24, 2018 20 hours ago, kidthekid said: wow, this save is weird, you are winning things.. I'm very sorry for breaking with the threads general direction. 20 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said: How did Janssen fraud his way onto the score sheet? 1 hour ago, dllu said: Off-topic: I have never noticed before, but happy Gob and happy Carlton have exactly the same facial expression! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 24, 2018 Author Share Posted August 24, 2018 Fraud revelation Would a fraud thread really be a fraud thread, if the fraud author didn't do something exquisituuely fraudcaisous like changing the rules of the thread all of a sudden just to accomodate a desperate desire for a certain player? Obvious answer is of course no. And since this is in fact a Very fraudulent fraud thread that is of course what I'll do as the master fraudster of this thread. Let's have a quick reminder, what rules exactly were put into place my the mighty Sepp Bladder Blatter first. On 14/07/2018 at 18:02, Benjoe said: Game Setup, and Rules I've chosen following leagues and Database settings: Rules: I am only ever allowed to sign players of nationalities that match an affiliate club. Ie. should I have no German affiliates I will no longer be allowed to sign German players. I can, however, sign players from Ghana as long as I keep Dwarfs as my affiliate. And that's it. I don't want to be too strict about this tbh. Fraud Passports The way to get around this would be to have some special Fraud Passports. Effectively allowing players of nationalities not matching the affiliate clubs' to sign for the club. Only 3 of these would be active every season in total. Having 4 players would mean that one would have to get expelled from the team. Of course we already had a couple of these from previous when we drafted (Jakub Jankto) and also from a player opting to be Sudanese rather than German (Hany Mukhtar). Jankto has been sold recently and Hany is looking for a new club too as we are packed too much to accommodate for game time to him sadly. New Frauds Here are the guys who will be occupying the new passports. Bert Dierickx Bought for £24M from Anderlecht. Ticks a lot of boxes that I felt we needed in midfield. Technically astute with a solid physique and mentally stable too. Trying to get him to stop knocking the ball past people since he is a talented dribbler. Also, look at his First Touch and Technique. That alone is worth the £24M. He'll be a huge asset in our midfield I believe. The close control ability combined with decent defensive foundation. He's a star. If the remaining PA is anything near true as well he could well reach a couple of 20s! Woo Huyn-Seung Bought for just 2.2M! He's a very nice allround talent for the midfield and has some opportunistic traits. We just need to up his dribbling considering he will be running with the ball. Technique and Acceleration alone should see him beat his markers often though. Depending on his growth on Dribbling we might need him to knock the ball past opponents. The last spot is occupied by Hany Mukhtar atm. but as said before he is looking for a new club. I have a lot of guys in the binoculars for the - then vacated - passport. Wish list Seeing how we're struggling to really muster up any decent defenders in our intakes, I am of course very tempted to use the last passport to sign a foreign defender. That point is having substantial impact on my wish list. Will any of these guys join? Unlikely this season unless we make a major sale as we are all out of money for transfers. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 24, 2018 Author Share Posted August 24, 2018 Breaking Transfer News: Sexual Harassment Case Ends With Transferby Martin Heimlancther Following a dispute on the training grounds at Fraudenhal, Wiesbaden, a player has been sold. The incident happened, when 21-year old Fraudenhal full-back was in physical training as Fraudenhal's assistant, Hansi Hinterqueer approached him. Grabbing his behind he remarked, "Ja, das ist a good booty, much better than Kurt Günter's! Oh ja. Are you a Nartey boy too? Do you get ze joke, ja? Nartey, Naughtey? Ja? Ist fun, ja?" Hours later lawyers were wrapping up paper work, and Nartey had a move to SK Sturm Graz confirmed. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fer Fuchs Ake Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 1 hour ago, Benjoe said: Breaking Transfer News: Sexual Harassment Case Ends With Transferby Martin Heimlancther Following a dispute on the training grounds at Fraudenhal, Wiesbaden, a player has been sold. The incident happened, when 21-year old Fraudenhal full-back was in physical training as Fraudenhal's assistant, Hansi Hinterqueer approached him. Grabbing his behind he remarked, "Ja, das ist a good booty, much better than Kurt Günter's! Oh ja. Are you a Nartey boy too? Do you get ze joke, ja? Nartey, Naughtey? Ja? Ist fun, ja?" Hours later lawyers were wrapping up paper work, and Nartey had a move to SK Sturm Graz confirmed. This thread is just so ****ing mental in a brilliant way. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 26, 2018 Author Share Posted August 26, 2018 The start of this season has been tremendous. Yet, I can't shake the urge to bring the Swazi ween to the Fraud-country. Maybe even a libero ridden ween. This can't end well. I need a doctor... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 26, 2018 Author Share Posted August 26, 2018 Despite this brilliant season beginning: Things are happening. The boat is rocking. And it's not gonna stop. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 26, 2018 Author Share Posted August 26, 2018 And that doctor is.. Spoiler Yes hello, this is Iiiiiii. The dr. Nelson mandela jr. Here as a voluntary - very handsome and handsomely well paid - tactical genius consultant for this fraud to take over the world, one ween at a time. So, let's get realz for a second here. Peasant! Mumbu! Come here! "Yes, yes boss! Im here, here boss!" Good peasant. We have come from the far far away country of Congo. "Should we do the congo line now, boss?" NO! Silence, peasant. We need to rework this. These frauds are using a "Proper" formation. No exploit. No Libero. And... most important of all- "Congo line, boss?" Enough with the ****ing congo line! I mean the ween! Do you see any ween here?! No, that's what I thought. Here is ween mk. 69. B-e-a-weeniful. Spoiler Yes yes. All part of plan. Trust the process you peasants! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 26, 2018 Author Share Posted August 26, 2018 Told you to just trust it. It can't be stopped. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 27, 2018 Author Share Posted August 27, 2018 In an office in Wiesbaden at Fraud Dome Kurt Günter is sitting in his office chair, back curved over the table. Sighing, time after time with 2 or 3 minutes interval. Desperate for communication. "Hansi... I have two things on my mind" Kurt Günter mutters. Hansi reluctantly responds, "Is it ze recent remix of YMCA by Dube Und Ze Dikgang?" "What? No!" "Hmm. Is it.. Aber was kanst it be..." "You don't know! Stop guessing!" Kurt Günter's patience was limited. It always was when it came to Hansi though. "Ah, ja. Das its klar. Now I get it. You're thinking of Laphonk. Ja?" "What the **** is that even?" "Ja, das ist slang in ze gay-community in Germany, ja. We use the laphonk to" *Hansi whispers in Kurt Günter's ear* "NO! THAT WAS NOT WHAT I WAS THINKING OFF. NOOOOOOOOO" "Ah well, simple mistake, ja. With that moustache, I mean..." "No, what I had in mind was the four seasons by Vivaldi and committing seppuku while hearing it one final time. Ending it all during Autumn, and never getting to the final chapter. A metaphor for my own life ending before the final cha-" "Aber comitting to ze sudoku? Ja.. never knew you were into that. Not gute, nein." Hansi was diststressed and a wrinkle broke the otherwise perfect face of his. "What? Are you saying sudoku?" "Ja, Sudoku?" "No, I said SEPP-" "Sepp Blatter?" "QUATSCH! **** of Hansi." "You don't have to be ze mean Kurtie." "Don't-" "Kurtiiiieeee" Hansi playfully said. "**** this ****. I'll find my records.. Do you have a knife, Hansi?" "Ahh, so you do know laphonk!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 28, 2018 Author Share Posted August 28, 2018 I'll be honest here (which feels weird given this is the fraud thread), but I am starting to really miss Africa. I miss Nelson and Mumbu. It's probably telling that I've brought the ween into play even though we were wrecking the league. The ween feels out of place here. I'll revert back to the previous tactic, and try to find back to this thread's identity and try to keep motivation up for this thread, but if not, then Africa and that journey will be back on! (Or France and that fraud thread. Who knows these days) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjoe Posted August 28, 2018 Author Share Posted August 28, 2018 Okay okay okay. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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