[FM 17] If You’re Not First, You’re Last Redux – Redemption For The “Nearly Men” Of Europe

[ManUtd1]

Cristiano is on the pitch, crying.  It's over.  His personal camera crew, capturing every moment.

I'll say this, his plastic surgeon is getting some great advertisement tonight.  He doesn't look a day over 19!

[ManUtd1]

With tonight's triumph, Greece will celebrate wildly...before turning their eyes towards the World Cup in South Africa, in 2 years' time.  There's no doubt that Telleus is already plotting...for the qualifying campaign, to follow the Nations League.

 

[kidthekid]

The great Hakan has done it again

[ManUtd1]

4 minutes ago, kidthekid said:

The great Hakan has done it again

Thanks, man -- it was a beautiful trip, that easily could have ended at any moment!  

[ManUtd1]

[ManUtd1]

THIS IS SPARTA!!!

 

[Benjoe]

That was beautiful!

Hakan the Greek God

 

 

[Benjoe]

7 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

I live near Seattle, so it's just barely past dinner time here 

9 hours in time difference.

Seattle sounds nice. Know a few people who've been there on holiday who said it was nice, but that you've got insane amounts of cafés. Can you confirm that?  

 

 

[Rikulec]

[Keano16]

 Let's just delete the Leverkusen bit, it never happened, just a bad dream.

[BoxToBox]

He's back!

 

[ManUtd1]

6 hours ago, Benjoe said:

That was beautiful!

Hakan the Greek God

Statutes have been commissioned in his honor.

5 hours ago, Benjoe said:

9 hours in time difference.

Seattle sounds nice. Know a few people who've been there on holiday who said it was nice, but that you've got insane amounts of cafés. Can you confirm that?  

On advice of counsel I can neither confirm nor deny that I consume enough coffee to incapacitate a small horse, on any given day.

Great city, for sure. I used to live in the city proper, but only work there now.

2 hours ago, Rikulec said:

Thanks, man!

2 hours ago, Keano16 said:

 Let's just delete the Leverkusen bit, it never happened, just a bad dream.

Leverkusen bit? Not sure what you're referring to, man.

1 hour ago, BoxToBox said:

He's back!

[BoxToBox]

5 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

Sonic Death Penguins warming up?

[ManUtd1]

45 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Sonic Death Penguins warming up?

A reunion tour may be in the works, after they play the championship parade in Athens.

Edited April 14, 2017 by ManUtd1

[deltablue]

Yessssss!

[Guimy]

On 8-4-2017 at 23:22, ManUtd1 said:

He also cites you, if I recall correctly 

We're all one big happy family. Most of the time anyway.

[ManUtd1]

21 minutes ago, deltablue said:

Yessssss!

#SpiritOfShia

22 minutes ago, Guimy said:

We're all one big happy family. Most of the time anyway.

We kids hate it when mommy and daddy fight...

[BathCity]

Unbelievable work, yet again... 

[ManUtd1]

4 minutes ago, BathCity said:

Unbelievable work, yet again... 

Thanks, man 

[HaroldHammond]

Hey man, this is a fantastic thread. I will absolutely love it if you would do a tactical write up either on here or the tactics forum. With the 'hipster' roles you have, the tactical forum would welcome this system with open arms.  Also i'd love to see how you make it work, the ins and outs .

 

Keep it up mate, great work

[ManUtd1]

1 hour ago, HaroldHammond said:

Hey man, this is a fantastic thread. I will absolutely love it if you would do a tactical write up either on here or the tactics forum. With the 'hipster' roles you have, the tactical forum would welcome this system with open arms.  Also i'd love to see how you make it work, the ins and outs .

Keep it up mate, great work

Thanks, man!  I appreciate it!  To be fair, my strikerless/libero tactics are all based on the good work of @Guimy and @LPQR, with the PM Libre formation based on their libero discussions:

https://strikerless.com/2016/12/31/project-libero-the-tactic/ 

https://fmasymmetric.wordpress.com/2016/12/03/the-libero-part-i-a-total-defending-approach/

The In Catene and Scatenato formations work from those principles, and but adjust to be more defensive/aggro -- it ends up being a mix of the base formation, with elements of these tactics thrown in (both from @Guimy):

https://strikerless.com/2017/01/02/facing-off-against-superior-opposition-parking-the-bus-101/

https://strikerless.com/2017/01/22/debunking-the-formation-myth-the-medusa/

Now, in terms of the actual setup, here is how I've described it before when at Saint-Etienne:

On 2/6/2017 at 07:51, ManUtd1 said:

 I cannot emphasize enough that these are not plug-and-play tactics.  I'm not an FM tactical genius by any means, and it took me 2 seasons in-game (and a lot of reading his stuff) to really nail down the style of play so that I could tweak things with confidence.

I've got three tactics that I switch between.  The first two are PM Libre 2.0 and PM Scatenato; both use the following formation:

PM Libre is the "base" tactic, with the following default team instructions:

Scatenato uses the same team instructions, but with a control mentality.  This is used in matches where I should dominate.  

With both tactics, I will tinker in-match.  The most common change is to the defensive line, dropping deeper to either: (1) counter an opposition threat (such as speed, or a 3-striker formation); or (2) create space against a side that is trying to park the bus. 

---

The third tactic is PM In Catene 2.0.  This tactic is for matches where I expect the opposition to attack us relentlessly, are far superior, and/or when we're working to hold a lead:

Again, I'll play with the defensive line during the match -- dropping deeper to counter specific attacking threats (speed, or a 3-striker formation).  Typically, if I'm in this formation, I'm not worried about dropping deeper to create space because our opponent is in already playing with an attacking mentality/formation.

---

In terms of PPMs, I like: (1) the IWBs to play 1-2s as they get forward; and (2) the 2 central midfielders and enganche should "try killer balls."  I like having my shadow strikers move into channels, with a specific PPM for dealing with 1v1s -- so, either lobbing or going around keepers.  I've also found that "likes to beat offside trap" and "knocks ball past opponent" can work really well for the shadow strikers (the latter only if they're fast enough).

I also use OIs, directing that my team close down on all 3 striker slots and show strikers and wide players to their weaker foot.

[BathCity]

So you play IWB without any wingers? I tend to struggle wothout enough wifth (spelling) so I find it mindblowing seeing your progress with this tactic. 

[ManUtd1]

6 minutes ago, BathCity said:

So you play IWB without any wingers? I tend to struggle wothout enough wifth (spelling) so I find it mindblowing seeing your progress with this tactic. 

That's right -- IWB without wingers.  When you look at the stats on where our attacks come from, it is through the middle of the pitch.  While one might think that would lead to congestion, we're very direct/incisive with tons of off-the-ball movement, and are set up to attack space.  It really works incredibly well, with the right squad.  When you're not good enough, the results are dire (see, e.g., my initial period at Leeds, and the Czechs).

[ManUtd1]

Apples is going to kill me.  At least Emma understands - it isn't about the money.

 

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

1 hour ago, ManUtd1 said:

Apples is going to kill me.  At least Emma understands - it isn't about the money.

 

She just doesn't understand redeeming Nearly Men of Europe...

[ManUtd1]

1 hour ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

She just doesn't understand redeeming Nearly Men of Europe...

But Emma does. 

[ManUtd1]

I'm fit and I'm angry, and I'm obviously crazy. Anything could happen.

          

Eintracht Frankfurt / Greece

September 2044 Mini-Update

How are we already at this point?  The last 2 months are a blur of absinthe, beautiful women, and pulsing indie neo-soul music.  Take the hottest nightclub in Ibiza?  The Battered Ram, that's the one.  Ludwig and I have basically had the traveling version since that night in Kiev.

It made our transfer dealings a little more...truncated, this year, shall we say.  Some Greek and German youth -- basically duplicating our "scouting " efforts at Europe's finest bars and nightclubs -- and the job is done, yeah?

Lots of work to do this year.  We need a stronger showing at in the Bundesliga, and a good run in Europe.

Fortunately, we've hit the ground running at Frankfurt.  A big win in the DPB-Pokal and our first Bundesliga match, with the Europa League Group Stage on the horizon.  We were a 2nd seed (incredibly, and got a decent enough draw.  Malmo have slipped all the way to a third seed, for the Europa League groups, if you can believe it.

With the Greeks, the national hangover was showing a wee bit, as we labored to a 1-0 win away over Romania and then came up against a resilient Scottish side in Athens, finishing 0-0.  Both sides were solid, but we can do better, lads.

 

(Legia took the final spot)

Edited April 15, 2017 by ManUtd1

[ManUtd1]

A glorious return to the Olympiyskyi and Kiev.

[kidthekid]

what is a 50 something year old manager doing in Ibiza nightclubs. Very creepy

[Adonalsium]

The young'uns look on in pity as the 50-year old tries a few dance moves. Or when he's flirting, only to the pretty ones. But they can see the long chain of madness tugging at the Swede's neck. They want none of it.

Hell, Emma's gotta be like 40 years old too. Tell Hakan to tell Emma to go with him to an Ibiza night club one day, he really needs a wingwoman. Ludwig's good, but... he's old too.

[LPQR]

honestly, can't believe you've shot up 50 pages on this thread during my wee sabbatical. monumental career mate

[ManUtd1]

10 hours ago, kidthekid said:

what is a 50 something year old manager doing in Ibiza nightclubs. Very creepy

 Age is just a number, baby! Yeah!

6 hours ago, Adonalsium said:

The young'uns look on in pity as the 50-year old tries a few dance moves. Or when he's flirting, only to the pretty ones. But they can see the long chain of madness tugging at the Swede's neck. They want none of it.

Hell, Emma's gotta be like 40 years old too. Tell Hakan to tell Emma to go with him to an Ibiza night club one day, he really needs a wingwoman. Ludwig's good, but... he's old too.

2 hours ago, LPQR said:

honestly, can't believe you've shot up 50 pages on this thread during my wee sabbatical. monumental career mate

Haha thanks, man. It's been my longest career in FM, for quite some time 

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

16 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

I'm fit and I'm angry, and I'm obviously crazy. Anything could happen.

          

Eintracht Frankfurt / Greece

September 2044 Mini-Update

How are we already at this point?  The last 2 months are a blur of absinthe, beautiful women, and pulsing indie neo-soul music.  Take the hottest nightclub in Ibiza?  The Battered Ram, that's the one.  Ludwig and I have basically had the traveling version since that night in Kiev.

It made our transfer dealings a little more...truncated, this year, shall we say.  Some Greek and German youth -- basically duplicating our "scouting " efforts at Europe's finest bars and nightclubs -- and the job is done, yeah?

Lots of work to do this year.  We need a stronger showing at in the Bundesliga, and a good run in Europe.

Fortunately, we've hit the ground running at Frankfurt.  A big win in the DPB-Pokal and our first Bundesliga match, with the Europa League Group Stage on the horizon.  We were a 2nd seed (incredibly, and got a decent enough draw.  Malmo have slipped all the way to a third seed, for the Europa League groups, if you can believe it.

With the Greeks, the national hangover was showing a wee bit, as we labored to a 1-0 win away over Romania and then came up against a resilient Scottish side in Athens, finishing 0-0.  Both sides were solid, but we can do better, lads.

 

(Legia took the final spot)

Juventus have really fallen far. Not too bad a group though.

[ManUtd1]

5 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

Juventus have really fallen far. Not too bad a group though.

Yep, Fiorentina's reign of terror hit them pretty hard.  Solid group, and we host Juventus shortly 

[ManUtd1]

I'm fit and I'm angry, and I'm obviously crazy. Anything could happen.

          

Eintracht Frankfurt / Greece

October 2044 Mini-Update

If anything was going to bring us back to Earth, it was three straight losses in the Bundesliga -- annihilated by Dortmund, with two painful losses to Gladerrachbrt and Bayern.  Not the start I had in mind, even if we've righted the ship with wins over Hoffenheim and Stuttgart.  Bottom line, if we want Champions League football we have to do better.

We're in good shape in the Europa League, with 2 wins from 2 -- including my 2nd XI  securing all 3 points at home against Thun.

With the national side, we were minutes away from a solid friendly win over Belgium...but fell to pieces in the dying minutes.  An honest, tough away win over Scotland all but guarantees that we've won our Nations League B group, whicshould've been easier than we've made it.  We finish the Nations League at home to Romania, followed by a friendly against Australia...then it's on to World Cup Qualifying.

Apples is glad to see a little humility return.  I suspect Ludwig and I can get a bit insufferable...

 

[Benjoe]

One of these day I'll have to catch up story wise in your thread! I like it, but don't catch a lot of the references. 

Also, not scoring two matches straight and then having 2 players getting hat-tricks in the same game..

 

Edited April 16, 2017 by Benjoe

[ManUtd1]

21 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

One of these day I'll have to catch up story wise in your thread! I like it, but don't catch a lot of the references. 

Also, not scoring two matches straight and then having 2 players getting hat-tricks in the same game..

We're a little inconsistent at the moment...

I think that, at some point (or for next year's version of the thread), I need to have a cast of characters laid out in the 2nd (reserved) post...who's who, etc.  Might help!

[ManUtd1]

This kid is going to be unreal.  Well worth every penny.

 

  

July 2046 seems a long ways off, but it'll allow for him to be in the squad when we mount a CL challenge.

Edited April 16, 2017 by ManUtd1
Fixing image link

[BoxToBox]

That boy will break teams.

[ManUtd1]

13 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

That boy will break teams.

This is why I love looking around South America...a player like this is going to be amazing.  Shame he's only 16!

[BoxToBox]

3 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

This is why I love looking around South America...a player like this is going to be amazing.  Shame he's only 16!

Aye, and if he was that good at 18 or 19 you'd be chuffed, never mind 16.

 

[ManUtd1]

18 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Aye, and if he was that good at 18 or 19 you'd be chuffed, never mind 16.

 

Exactly.  These are the 2 other South Americans I'm bringing in:

   

Both very promising.  525k for Arce, 725k for Endara.

Edited April 16, 2017 by ManUtd1
Fixing image link

[ManUtd1]

After 29 matches, Malmo looked set to win the 2044 Allsvenskan, their first league title since 2037.  1 point clear of Elfsborg, with six-time defending champions Djurgardens in 3rd.  

As has become typical, Malmo blew it spectacularly -- losing 3-nil away to Goteborg, with Elfsborg taking the title.

 

Brutal.

[ManUtd1]

A lion doesn't concern itself with the opinion of sheep.

          

Eintracht Frankfurt / Greece

November 2044 Mini-Update

So much for humility, Ludwig.  Break out your dancing shoes.

It wasn't pretty, but we won our Nations League group, only giving up 1 goal in the process.  Like I said, a modern day Theodosian Wall.  The shame is, we only scored 3 goals...needs improvement.  Especially when we drop a friendly at home against Australia.

We've found a serious vein of form at Frankfurt, and have now rattled off six straight wins to see us rise to 2nd in the table.  That, coupled with 2 big wins over Juventus, and we're flying high.

I love seeing the looks on the faces of the journos and hipster bloggers who were calling for my head earlier this season, talking about how this was another Leverkusen and that, in my 5 seasons in Germany, I've only finished higher than 6th once.  Of all the journos out there, only Hampus stayed loyal, knowing that we would come good.  He's seen it happen too many times to count us out.

Yes, this run of wins is a giant "**** you" to those ****s.  Emma has even started to bring the twins to matches, now and again.  Apples stays away, bitter and jealous that Emma has taken an interest.  As if Apples ever truly cared about our fortunes on the pitch, it was always about the glamour, the lifestyle.

But, at this age, it is too late to second-guess myself and my life choices, yeah?  I'm 58, share a flat with my assistant manager, and have twin sons with my ex-wife who impregnated the woman she left me for without my consent, with my swimmers.

I should've talked with Ronaldo's agent years ago.  This would've made a mother****** of a reality show.

 

[aderow]

I just read this thing. This whole ****ing thing. @ManUtd1 you sir a ****ing legend. You keep playing and I'll keep reading and certainly keep laughing.

One last thing.

On 2/24/2017 at 10:31, ManUtd1 said:

Never forget.

[Adonalsium]

The story of this save reminds me of a trippy nightmare, honestly. Ronaldo's reality TV shows and all, this is exactly like something I'd dream about after a particularly colorful day. But I guess that's why I stuck around in the first place.

Edited April 16, 2017 by Adonalsium

[ManUtd1]

I just laughed out loud, @aderow!  Bobby Mankini!!!  Thank you for reading and commenting, man -- the fact that someone might enjoy this even the tiniest bit, puts a smile on my face   

@Adonalsium I still have to get to that episode of CR7's reality show that I promised...it is coming!  I'm hoping that work will quiet down a bit over the next few weeks, and not be taking up my evenings/weekends as much.

Happy Easter, everyone 

[aderow]

2 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

I just laughed out loud, @aderow!  Bobby Mankini!!!  Thank you for reading and commenting, man -- the fact that someone might enjoy this even the tiniest bit, puts a smile on my face   

Most fun I've had on here in very long time

[ManUtd1]

Sorry Not Sorry...You Done Been Played!  

Rush Transcript; Season 17, Episode 34.

FADE IN

Feeder's "Feeling A Moment" plays over a video montage -- Cristiano Ronaldo scoring for Manchester United, Real Madrid and Portugal, his trademark celebratory jump/spin/flex, sliding on his knees across the turf at the Bernabeu, gesticulating wildly on the sidelines at the Euro 2016 Final.  Frolicking with an endless parade of supermodels.  Tender moments with his son.  Smiling, laughing and clowning about with his mates, as the ravages of time begin to catch up.  Less hair, more body oil.  

Clips from past episodes now play as the chorus kicks in -- the time when Cristiano replaced Joe Hart's hair gel with ketchup, the time when he filled Pepe's Ferrari with custard...or, the classic episode where they slipped Mario Balotelli acid and sent him to a Furry convention on behalf of PETA.

The images and music fade, with the cameras now focusing on a familiar face emerging from behind a curtain in a television studio.  The camera pans across the audience, standing to applaud, whoop and cheer with reckless abandon as Cristiano smiles, waves and shakes hands with those lucky enough to be in the front row.  Cristiano's son emerges from behind the curtain, but all attention is focused on his famous father.  Cristiano Jr. joins in the raucous applause for his father.

CRISTIANO: Hello, hello, hello!  Thank you and good evening!  Welcome to another episode of Sorry Not Sorry...

CROWD (shouting in unison at the top of their lungs): YOU DONE BEEN PLAYED! 

CRISTIANO: Yes, yes, yes!  This is my show, yeah?  Where we do the most outrageous, craziest pranks you've ever seen!  The only show on TV where you'd ever see John Terry openly advertising himself as a rent boy , offering to "service" Millwall fans outside of the Den, yeah?  You don't see that on Sky!!!  Well, maybe on the pay-per-view, yeah?

Cristiano winks knowingly.  The crowd claps and cheers, desperate to hear what hilarity Cristiano has in store for them tonight.  

CRISTIANO (gesturing for quiet):  Tonight, tonight...we have a special show.  Years in the making, yes?  Years!  Ok, ok...who's the greatest footballer in history?!

CROWD (shouting in unison): CRISTIANO!  RONALDO!  CRISTIANO! RONALDO!

CRISTIANO (smiling and noddinb emphatically):  Hahahahaha, yes!!!  The best ever!  But, now hold on...

The crowd starts to whistle and stamp their feet.

CRISTIANO (wagging his finger, with a twinkle in his eye): No, no.  Hold on.  There some who would say that another can lay claim to that particular crown...

The crowd continues to whistle and stamp their feet enthusiastically.

CRISTIANO JUNIOR: I think...I think what my dad is trying to say, is that some people aren't very smart, you know? They're poor little brains just cannot handle the sight of His glorious, oiled abs.

The crowd begins to shout agreement.

CRISTIANO (gesturing to his abdomen): What?  You want to see my abs?  To see them dance?!

The house band begins to play a soothing samba rhythm, as Cristiano gyrates on stage.  As scantily-clad woman approaches with a bottle of olive oil, Cristiano tears off his designer-black button-down shirt.  The woman begins to apply apply copious amounts of oil to Cristiano's torso, which puddles at their feet.  They begin to dance seductively.  The crowd is screaming with glee.  Men and women alike are swooning.  

CRISTIANO (cackling, as more models appear on stage to dance): Well, then!  Enjoy tonight's episode, with a good friend and old rival of mine...and get ready to not be the sorry, yeah!?!

The music continues as Cristiano dances with the models, to the delight of the crowd.  Cristiano Junior joins in.  More items of clothing are removed.  The camera fades to black.

The camera fades back in, with a long shot of a beautiful, gated Catalan villa.  The samba rhythm fades, replaced by a classical guitar playing The Girl From Ipanema.  The leaves of the trees flutter in the morning breeze, as various camera shots set the stage.  Birds chirp.

Cristiano's voice explains.

CRISTIANO (voice-over): For years, my greatest rival on the pitch was none other than Leonardo Messi.  Or, as I liked to call him, that little sack of ****.  Hahahahaha.  

Highlights from Messi's career play as Cristiano continues.

CRISTIANO (voice-over, slightly angry): The media often considered Messi to be the greatest, even when even the most stupidest peasant could see my brilliance outshining him at every turn.  Some say that revenge is a dish best served cold.  I say that's how you serve gazpacho.  For revenge, you need something...sweeter.  

Video taken from Messi's security cameras begins to play, as shots of Messi puttering about his home, confused and wearing a bathrobe and bright yellow Crocs, fill the screen.

CRISTIANO (voice-over, clearly quite pleased with himself): We've bribed Messi's staff, including his personal valet, Jorge, to help us with this DELICIOUS prank.  Let's see what happens, shall we?

Security camera footage continues to follow Leo as he walks through the house, confused, calling for Jorge and his wife, Antonella.  No one answers.

LEO: Jorge?!  Where are you?  I need more mantequilla de mani?  The peanut butter, yes?  Jorge?!  Donde la puta se fue...

Hearing no answer, Leo begins to mutter to himself angrily.  The security cameras continue to follow him as he searches through the kitchen and pantry, looking for peanut butter.

LEO (muttering to himself): Lord above, He knows I can't do this.  I need me some peanut butter to start my day.  A growing boy needs protein!   That's what Papa Pep told me.

The camera cuts away to a shot of Cristiano and his son, watching the camera feeds from a utility truck parked down the street.  They laugh as Messi looks through the pantry for the fourth time.  To no avail.

LEO (getting angry, now searching for Jorge): JORGE!  Where is that deaf ****, anyways.  This is exactly what happened the day we lost to Chile in the Copa finals...I didn't have my peanut butter, and a nation cried.  I've told him...he's been warned.  JORGE!?!

The cameras follow as Leo wanders outside, confused that Jorge, his loyal employee and friend all these years, has seemingly abandoned him to a peanut-butter-less fate.  In the van, Cristiano and Cristiano Junior are rolling on the floor laughing.  The rest of the crew appears bored, checking their smartphones.  Jorge is stricken with grief, on the verge of tears, slowly shaking his head.

As Leo wanders into the backyard, he stops.  Stunned.  The camera pulls back to show that Leo's hillside infinity pool, with a view overlooking the city of Barcelona and the Mediterranean beyond, is full of peanut butter.  To the brim.  Messi rubs his eyes.  Confused.  A pack of feral dogs sit on and around the diving board, full of peanut butter and determined to defend their cache.  They growl as Messi approaches, bewildered and oblivious to their increasingly insistent warnings that he back away from their peanut butter.

LEO (confused, softly): Jorge?  What...?  Nella?  Where...how?  Breakfast...the...

Cristiano and Cristiano Junior are beside themselves with laughter in the van.  Jorge has broken down in tears, muttering to himself; he cannot watch.  He didn't know about the dogs.  The crew remain focused on their smartphones, only occasionally glancing up to see the scenes unfolding.

Leo continues to amble slowly towards the pool, shaking his head to try and clear the last foggy moments of sleep from his brain.  Taking this as a sign of aggression, the feral pack of dogs leap to defend their prize.  Leo finally notices and recoils in horror as they charge towards him en masse.  He screams in sheer terror, with nowhere to run.  His only avenue of escape, is a leap into the pool of peanut butter.  Indecision reigns supreme in Leo's eyes, as the pack closes in.  

The camera cuts away to Cristiano and his son in the studio, as the audience roars with laughter.

A cleaning crew is attempting to mop up the ocean of olive oil on the floor, with little success.  Cristiano, sensing the mood of the crowd, flexes and roars triumphantly.  Neither he nor anyone else on stage are wearing any clothes.  Only generous blurring in post-production saves the innocent eyes of the millions watching from home.

With a twinkle in his eye, Cristiano turns to the camera, still flexing, to utter his now-famous catch-phrase.

CRISTIANO (laughing, shrugging his shoulders innocently): Tune in next week, for the exciting conclusion of tonight's episode...will Leo's love for peanut butter be his end, or his savior?  One way or another...you know how it is...  Sorry, not sorry, Leo!!!

CROWD (shouting with glee): YOU DONE BEEN PLAYED!

Much to the chagrin of the cleaning crew, more oil is found and brought on stage, as the samba rhythm begins with renewed vigor.

FADE OUT

Edited April 16, 2017 by ManUtd1

[ManUtd1]

2 hours ago, aderow said:

Most fun I've had on here in very long time

Thanks, man -- pressure is on to keep it up, now!