EPL Challenge (The Ultimate Premier League Experience) FM2005 [*Established Clan*]

[BelfastNiall]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by keedo666:

cheers Niall-itleast i know for next time Is there ne chance of getting the game up some tie so ican do my report thoroughly and maybe a smidgeon of T&T HAHA </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yep post these requests in the clan forum and I should be able to open this evening around 7pm. Go to the Mirc room as per usual if anyone wants a T&T.

[Inter]

Blackburn Rovers appoint former City boss as Manager

Leo Hardy has been announced as the new manager of Blackburn Rovers after being out of the game for over 3 long years.

Rovers currently sit in a decent position in 9th, and many think that Hardy will have have his work cut out.

Hardy had this to say in the press conference with Sky after being asked about his ambitions and return to football...

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I'm absolutely delighted to be given the oppotunity to manage in the worlds top league again. I thought my management days were over when I had to leave the Man City post due to personal reasons.(these had nothing to do with channel 992 Goat) I feel I have the experience to lead this team the right way and keep the Rovers fans happy. I feel the experience at City has stood me in good stead to succeed at this club.

My ambitions at the club will be to bring back the glory days at Ewood. I hope to win trophies and the sooner the better.

The FA Cup will be my first priority now and we'll try to ensure that we beat Middlesborough to get to the next round. Second on my very short list of priorities will be to battle for 6th spot.

Finally with the £20mil or so transfer funds I have to spend, I'll try to bring in a goalkeeper and two good defenders....the defence will be the biggest concern for me for the remainder of this season. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

So...Leo has clearly turned his attention straight to the Boro game in the FA Cup replay to try to make that the first cup winning in his managerial career.

[Deano]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by keedo666:

There is no god, once again the club badge resists my overtures </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Fixed

[BelfastNiall]

Cheers Deano

[BelfastNiall]

Blue View

[b]An Exciting week ahead for Everton fans[/b]

Well I know many of you will look at that headline and will think, "An exciting week ahead? What are you talking about we've got Fulham next?!!" but lets think it through. Yes it is true, there aren't any more boring teams in the Premiership than Fulham but Niall Murphy and Mo Ilyas' rivalry goes back through the ages and there is not much that gives our intrepid boss more satisfaction than putting one over his rivals. The fans may be asleep but Murphy and Ilyas won't be. So what can we expect from the big game?

We know that Ilyas will approach the match in his predictable style. He'll put his five hatchet men across the back ready to execute summary boots to the nads and elbows into the heads of our strikers. Witness the assault on Gilardino for the penalty that won the game at Goodison and the sending off of Fulham full back Traore at Wembley in the Community Shield. In a Charity Match for God's sake!! Does his team have no shame? He'll have his three men in the middle trying to compress the game and firing crosses into his giant lumbering striker, Peter Crouch, and he'll be relying on Xisco coming up trumps in attack if our lads take lose their concentration for a split second.

So what's in it for us but the potential to pick up injuries ahead of this weeks massive home return against Barcelona a game Everton have to win? Well we do need the points to get back into the Champions League next season given that there are no guarantees we'll get past the excellent Catalans. The three points could be vital for the financial security of the club next season. Rumours are also abound that Ilyas is under pressure from his board despite their FA Cup win next season. The shock UEFA Cup exit to Anderlect has not helped Ilyas in that regard and the Fulham fans are jumpy!! Could the huge carrot for Murphy be that he would like to be remembered at Craven Cottage as the man to hammer the final nail in Mo's coffin, Fulham's most successful manager of recent times? Somehow I doubt it. Murphy likes to wind up his fellow coaches. It motivates him - but at the end of the day he has the utmost respect for their talents even if it would provoke a wry grin and a glass of whisky for the Top Toffee. Everton need the points and so do Fulham but I'm predicting Murphy to be professional in his approach and exciting contest here with both coaches feeling the strain in a close game that Everton will edge by the solitary goal!!

[AsherDSSc]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> Hi, i'm Elisha Cuthbert. You may know me from films such as 'House Of Wax', 'The Girl Next Door' or the multi award-winning drama, '24.' Some of you may be wondering what i'm doing on your local Spurs t.v show, well, to tell you the truth i don't know. But no, its not for the money. Your manager Rick Boult is so dreamy, we make sweet sweet love every night. I've dedicated the rest of my life to him by offering my hand in marriage. I Love Him </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sorry lads, fell asleep there

[EmmYouEffSee]

Cuthbert Goes Crackers!

BBC News can reveal that Elisha Cuthbert has been admitted into hospital. The psychiatric nurses will be trying their best to get Cuthbert's mental state back to where it was just days ago, before she went 'radio rental' and commented about *laughs*, Rick Boult.

On behalf of everybody here at BBC News, we wish Elisha on a speedy recovery.

Sam Bouchard decided he'd comment on Elisha and the situation on Boult.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">The chick's clearly lost it. She's preposing to Rick...Boult?! Bloody comical! He's in dream land whilst she's in the nut house. Just where she should be with comments like that...i mean what's the world coming to! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Inter]

Rovers have been knocked out of the FA Cup in Hardy's first game of his return...

Fa Cup Replay 5th Round

Blackburn 2-2 Middlesbrough (Boro win 4-3 on pens)

Blackburn have been dumped out of the FA Cup in a thrilling penalty shoot-out won by the Boro.

It was a very even game throughout and if it was a league game I think both teams managers would have accepted the result.

Blackburn went behind twice only to peg Boro back almost instantly both times. It was a firy match which saw both teams end with 10 men.

Hardy had this to say after the match:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I feel I can take alot of positives out of the game today, so overall I'm in an upbeat mood. I promise to prove my managerial qualities next season.

I'd also like to congradulate Mr. Jackson who made some very good tactical changes. I wish him the best of luck throughout the rest of the competition. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Premier League

Manchester United 2-2 Blackburn

Well another 2-2 draw for Blackburn.

It was a thrilling match at old Trafford and a result that has put a big smile on Hardy's face.

Man of the Match, Ronaldinho was absolutely unstopable and its hard to beleive that he only managed to score one. Rooney was another big United performer as he managed to get his name on the scoresheet.

A great result for Hardy again but he did say after the match just how much he was looking forward to next season when he has a new defence to put out.

Goalscorers- Man UTD- Ronaldinho 50, Rooney 69.

Blackburn- Eliakwu 6, Stead 88.

Blackburn 1-0 Middlesbrough

Blackburn register their first win under new boss after substitute Ivana came on to bag the chance that was set up beautifully by Bechan.

Borowski did a fantastic job man marking beattie who was so lethal in the FA Cup game Hardy stated.

Good win for Rovers then but still alot of work to do and Leo knows it.

Well its the league champions to be next, Portsmouth. Hard game at Fratton park but we'll certainly try our best and try to claim 7th spot this season.

Just a quick transfer update to add......

Transfers in:

to be completed at the end of the season

Goran Gavrancic from WBA for £5.25m

Boy-Boy Mosia from Nantes for £3.7m-could possibly cancel this one.

Matthew Kilgallon from Sunderland for £220k

Philippe Senderos from Bolton for£475k

Transfers out: to be completed at the end of the season

Kiran Brechan to Southampton £0

Renato to Everton for £0

Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink to Lecce for £0

Labinot Harbuzi to Middlesbrough for £2.8m

[BelfastNiall]

Everton surge into the Champions League Quarter Finals

Last night Everton put in one of their best performances of the season to hammer Barcelona by three goals to nil at Goodison Park to win the tie 3-1 on aggregate. In a night of high tension at the home of the Premiership Champions, the Merseyside club were clinical in front of goal, sweeping their average league form to one side, leaving the Catalan outfit on the way to claiming the La Liga title devastated.

Everton got off to a fantastic start when Robert Vittek ripped the Barcelona defence apart after only five minutes and finished with a tremendous shot into the corner to level the tie. The opening half an hour saw a pretty even game and Barcelona looked as if they had the ability to score on the night, but when Gilardino notched his 29th goal of a tremendous campaign to put Everton 2-0 ahead the Toffees began to believe this could be their night. With Barcelona still only requiring a goal to take the lead on away goals rule, the Spaniards began to exert the pressure, with Joaquin ever dangerous on the Barcelona right, giving De Jong a testing evening. However, Isaksson and the Everton defence featuring the recalled Boumsong are clearly revelling in this competition and were forcing Barcelona into mainly hitting from range. Finally with 10 minutes remaining, a Kim Kallstrom rocket from 20 yards flew into the top corner. 3-0 and the game and the tie was over.

Visiting coach Andy Nilsen was clearly distraught as the Toffees go a stage further than Portsmouth managed last season when they were deservedly dumped out the competition by AC Milan.

Afterwards Murphy stated,

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">This is a tremendous evening for Everton and ranks as one of my best nights as a football manager. There is no doubting that Barcelona are a fantastic team with quality all over the pitch and to beat them gives me great satisfaction. I got to play tribute to the players, who in Spain followed my instructions to the letter and frustrated the Spaniards on their own pitch. Yes they had chances in Spain but no one goes to the Nou Camp and doesn't concede territory and possession. Keeping it to 1-0 was always going to give us the chance to get through if we scored first and Vittek was the man to put us on the way. We're in the last eight now and who knows what might happen, but at the start of the season I said I wanted to get further than Nilsen has ever done and we have done that. Now lets go and try and win it.

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

However, that will be tough for the Toffees after the draw was made in Switzerland two days later, when Everton pulled the mighty Real Madrid out of the hat and now face their third Spanish outfit this season. After the draw Murphy stated:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Well it doesn't get much harder than this, but we can take confidence from the fact we have already beaten the Spanish league leaders and lets do our best to get past Madrid and reach the last four which would be a tremendous achievement. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Unfortunately, Everton's league form has been average this season as a result of the European Cup. The lads have found it hard to motivate themselves for the daily grind and we have lost a lot of points by failing to take our European form back into the Premiership. After beating Barca convincingly in the end, we failed to find a way past QPR and ended with a 0-0 draw. Also, credit to Mo Ilyas who I tried to wind up yesterday and put a grin on his face with my fanzine effort. Fulham won the game 1-0 and to be fair they dominated most of the match and deserved their win, with Everton really only showing their hand in the last 20 minutes when it was too late. The game was won when Mo's impressive attacking midfielder Steven Pienaar (where was Crouch you blagger?) beat his man marker Pedretti to a header in the box to score from close range. Afterwards Murphy stated,

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Well done to Mo Ilyas and Fulham. I tried to wind him up before the game and put immense pressure on him to perform - and on the day his side did and he fully deserves to be taking the points home tonight. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

[keedo666]

After a promising start as detailed previously the rails seem to have come off my season with a dramatic slump in form.

Firstly i was knocked out of europe by Sporting, only to return 3 days later to play against bolton and be on the end of a 5-1 hammering...to be perfectly honest ive never been so comprehensively beaten im my entire management career.. however even more depressing is the fact that Bolton currently hover in 17th in the premiership attempting to avoid relegation. However i leave the gravest fact to last, the fact that Keegan the man who has done so much damage to the clubs reputation and financial wellbeing in recent times is at the helm of Bolton. He did however not chose to laud it over me as he probably knew i would have sent the heavies around(a retired duncan ferguson).

The league however is not my priority this campaign as i lie in 11th, 3 points behind liverpool, and many behind the all important 9th placed Man utd. Thus the chance of a berth in the intertoto cup is unlikely.

Because of this i decided to set my sights on a cup competition either the FA Cup in which i am in the semi-finals, but must face Man Utd, and the UEFA cup which is beyond reach due to my elimination....The FA Cup it is then!

Match reports

Newcastle 2-0 Southampton

Goals Absalonen,Buffel

A satisfying win over his scouseness which was doubly sweet as it earnt Williams the sack and ultimately his retirement with his tail tucked firmly between his legs. HOwever he was reincarnated as II and no doubt we will meet again on the battlefield, hopely with the same result! One special mention must be made to Tomas Buffel who has been playing exceptionally well recently at 1.9 goals a game from a AMC

Newcastle 0-0 Sporting(away)

Unfortunately i was on holiday for this match due to a "hell mouse" -not of the electronic variety, but indeed of the cheese stuffing kind, that had to be chased and clubbed violently to death with a baseball bat

As it happened my assistant opted for a cautious 4-5-1 formation but despite completely dominating the game we came away with a dour 0-0 draw, and all importantly without the crucial away goal.

Newcastle 2-2 sporting(Home)

Goals-Buffel,Guy,Lledson,Fernandes

So the battle lines were drawn in Newcastle both managers priming their troops for "the big push", the one that would determine their european fate for another season. However despite D'Ardenne' insistence that his team must start well and NOT concede an early goal the unfit Prutton allowed Lledson to ghost past him and clinically finish the cross of Niculae. As the away goal rule was now brought into play a tactical cjange led to D'Ardenne pushing his midfield quartet forward, which yielded dividends as Buffel' rich run of form continued as he rounded FIVE players before smashing the ball home from the edge of the box- the geordie crowd going into raptures at this stunning strike! However Newcastle' periods of dominance could yield no goal and shortly after half time Sporting scored again after poor goalkeeping from Gallacher-this is to be expected as he is scottish! This led to D'Ardenne deploying the mythological 2-1-3-4 formation formerly made famous by past Azerbaijanian greats

With ten minutes to go and extended pressure in favour of Newcastle a goal was scored by the transfer listed Guy as he rose majestically at the far post to nod in from a cross by Absalonen. Once again the home crowd roared their approval and 52000 people willed on Newcastle to get the decisive final goal. At this point injury time began and all were wondering whether these tired men could drag themselves forward for one final assault on the sporting goal which at this point was defended by everything including the kitchen sink! Newcastle had a corner and the cross came in only for Ricardo to fist the ball away-suddenly Zaccardo was left opposed 3 attackers versus one solitary defender. They cheekily chipped it over his head taking him out of the game- 3 now versus the goalkeeper(at this point i once again remind the reader he is Scottish and therefore terrible). My heart sank as i saw their players swarming towards the goal but to my surprise Lledson selfishly went for the 1-0n-1. Heroically Gallacher stood firm and deflected the ball away incapacitating Lledson in the progress, again he saved another 1-on-1 only to be stranded outside his own box with the ball at the attackers feet. With typical portugese flair he chipped at goal-yhe keeper seemingly stranded! Gallacher already having heroically denied the opposing strikeforce twice in the previous 10 seconds flew back and somehow managed to turn the ball over the bar! My euphoria tempered by the knowledge that my european challenge was to be ended in a matter of seconds. So the corner came in and taylor hooked it up the field only for Ricardo to miskick it out for a corner for Newcastle.

At this point i started to wonder how i would feel if i somehow managed to qualify- i had no time for these thoughts as the cross came in- a goalmouth scramble ensued after which the ball shot up to the solitary figure of Sonck at the far post-the keeper seemingly stranded at the far side of the goal, i rose from my seat, chair knocked over backward, beer glass rising with me as the stella splashed all over the carpet(yes next to the mouse blood), i screamed in exultation at the impending goal........ but he missed- over the bar the ball went, and with it my european dreams, thus i sat "in the dugout" covered in beer weeping.

After the game the manager had this to say to the press

"The players gave their all and i feel nothing but pride in the way in which the majority of the squad applied themselves today- Particularly Buffel with his tireless work in midfield and the skipper Taylor at the heart of the defence, a real rock-if we can take this form into next season and play anything like we did today then there is no reason why we cannot claim a place in europe and take this great club back to where we belong"

After this game we faced Bolton in 3 days and the game came far too early for the team, after their physical and mental european exertions and we were well and truly hammerered, with little positives other than a well taken goal by the ever improving Corvia who should be a big player for us next season

Newcastle 1-5 Bolton(Away)

Goals Corvia,Janssen(3) and can't for life of me remember the others names; however congratulations to Mr. Morris for a shrewd signing in young Janssen- you've got a real talent there.

So with little left to play for this season except the FA cup(Man Utd) and pride thoughts turn to next season and the changes in the squad that will be implemented to turn this club around- expect to see a bit of wheeler dealing in the future as due to club debt, finances should be limited. Expect quality rahter than quantity, and with a bit of luck an improvemnt in this great club' fortunes.

[AsherDSSc]

Mr Morris doesn't own Janssen Birmingham do he's just on loan at Bolton.

However, when that loan ends he will make his way down to London at White Hart Lane isn't that right Danny

[BelfastNiall]

What a brilliant report Mark, brought tears of laughter to my eyes.

[STFC will rule again]

6th December 2009

Liverpool 4

Middlesboro 3

13th December 2009

Middlesboro 1

Tottenham 0

17th December 2009

Middlesboro 2

Wolves 0

20th December 2009

Newcastle 0

Middlesboro 2

26th December 2009

Middlesboro 1

Southampton 1

3rd January 2009

Middlesboro 3

Rochdale 0

10th January 2009

Middlesboro 3

Coventry 0

14th January 2009

Leicester 0

Middlesboro 2

FA Cup 4th Round

17th January 2009

Norwich 0

Middlesboro 2

24th January 2009

Middlesboro 0

Chelsea 1

28th January 2009

Aston Villa 2

Middlesboro 1

31st January 2009

Middlesboro 0

Everton 0

7th February 2009

Arsenal 3

Middlesboro 2

FA Cup 5th Round

14th February 2009

Middlesboro 1

Blackburn 1

18th February 2009

Bolton 0

Middlesboro 2

FA Cup 5th Round Replay

25th February 2009

Blackburn 2

Middlesboro 2

28th February 2009

Middlesboro 3

West Brom 1

FA Cup 6th Round

7th March 2009

Middlesboro 0

Man Utd 2

14th May 2009

Blackburn 1

Middlesboro 0

RECORD

Played - 19

Won - 9

Drew - 4

Lost - 6

Goals For - 30

Goals Against - 18

A much improved few months with the defence starting to tighten up and the attack starting to put away the chances that the side have been creating. We've hit the 37pts mark with 8 games to go, which was the same total of points for the whole of last season put together and also made the quarter finals in the FA cup.

I'm looking to finish as high as possible and with the potential summer signings, the outlook at Middlesboro is starting to look very good indeed.

[Dunga99]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by AsherDSSc:

Mr Morris doesn't own Janssen Birmingham do he's just on loan at Bolton.

However, when that loan ends he will make his way down to London at White Hart Lane isn't that right Danny </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Just remember who gave him his first break in the premiership and when you get sacked from the Spurs Job he will work under that manager again

Top report by the way Mark

[kndusr19]

Season 5 Update - Et tu Brutus

As season 5 commenced, Mo offered the supporters player of the year ‘Roy Carroll’ to the elite of Europe and Everton. Arsenal made a bid of 8million for the 32 year old keeper which was too good to turn down. Unfortunately the reserve keeper at Fulham had left on a free transfer as he was not getting a look in with Roy Carroll on form. At this point Mo realised that he did not have a keeper in place for the big kick for the new season and made numerous bids for keepers high and low on the cheap and even a 10million bid for Ivan Pelizzoli! Unfortunately nobody came to London to see Fulham, but rumours where that some clubs were tempted to accept my generous offer, but the evil Evertonion eye of Mordor scared clubs away.

Season 5 game highlights

This season, Fulham will be using the new Dunga format of stating if we won, lost or drew the game, as some supporters were confused a number of times when Fulham supporters started to cheer each time Fulham conceded a goal! Apparently this was not caused by confusion with Fulham supporters allegiance, it was a case of that the Fulham supporters were listening on their radio’s to teams playing against Everton. As Everton conceded time in the EPL, a raptious cheer went up in the Fulham stands!

Fulham 0-1 Everton Community Shield

With no first choice keeper, a set-piece frailty undid Fulham. Everton players were diving all over the place and a free kick just outside the box proved the decisive goal. The Fulham left-back traore was also red carded in a very harsh decision. The Fulham players were told to go out and enjoy the day and make Everton life hard. The left back tough the instructions a bit too literally and has been duly reprimanded and transfer listed immediately after this match. [We didn’t score, they dived – So 1-0 loss]

Liverpool 3-3 Fulham EPL

Still without a first choice keeper, and down 3-0 at one point. Fulham’s greatest ever comeback to level the game at 3-3. [3 a piece – a draw]

Fulham 1-4 Tottenham EPL

Still without a first choice keeper, long range shots from Rick’s team crushed Fulham at home and possibly was the turning point in the eyes of Fulham supporters about Mo’s managerial ability. [Anyone who had a shot scored and we got a consolation 4-1 loss]

Fulham 2-1 Aston Villa EPL

Sam’s Villa. Mo does not remember the game, as Mo would have taken the pi** out of Sam after this win. [2-1 and Fulham won this time!]

West Brom 0-0 Fulham EPL

Never underestimate Chris, Chris is hard to beat on a very good day, and shows signs of the 'force'. So glad to get a point at West Brom [No goals – you work it out!]

Fulham 0-1 Portsmouth EPL

Andy is a goat, but he acted like a sheep this time by ramming Fulham. Showed enough class to make his claim to the EPL trophy. [A 1-0 deserved win for goat……that was hard to say!]

Bolton 1-1 Fulham League Cup Quarter Final

After a 1-1 draw against Bolton in Fulham. Pagi’s former took Fulham to penalties and duly dispatched Fulham out of the league cup. Since robbing Bolton two season’s ago which allowed Pagi to be crowned as Pagi the second, Bolton have never lost to Fulham since. [Lost on Penalties, Mo does not recall what the final penalty count was, a big loss]

Fulham 2-1 Birmingham EPL

Danny is always hard to beat and usually beats me 3 goals to 1. On this occasion he had an off day and could not believe that the Birmingham talisman Alessio Ammendolea had only scored one against Fulham. Always mark Alessio Ammendolea with 2 defenders, 1 midfielder, 1 winger, just get the whole team to mark this man! [Another win because we scored two and they scored one!]

Tottenham 1-1 Fulham EPL

Always hard to get a point against Rick, could have had all three if Spurs had not scored! [A draw]

Everton 0-1 Fulham EPL

The ref was intimidated in this game the Everton minders and duly gave a penalty to ease Evertons league position. The stats will show that Everton have had more penalties at their ground than any other EPL team, Mo thinks this is very sinister!OK, we lost this by a penalty that should not have been given!

Aston Villa 1-2 Fulham FA Cup 3rd Rnd

The ghosts of the FA cup final are laid to rest in this match. This was a replay of last seasons FA cup final in which Sam disappeared after being escorted off my Niall’s minders. Sam was allowed to attend this match by Niall and duly saw his side lose out 2-1. [Hurrah, a 2-1 win]

Newcastle 2-1 Fulham EPL

Mo was hoping that Mark would not take the helm of Newcastle before this match. Luckily Mark was playing Tom and Jerry in his house and Mo’s wish was granted. Unfortunately even without Mark’s guidance, Newcastle recorded a well deserved victory. [2-1 loss]

Fulham 1-2 Southampton EPL

While Dave was on gardening leave, Southampton recorded a damaging victory for Fulham’s manager. [A bad 2-1 Home defeat against fellow strugglers]

Derby 1-0 Fulham FA Cup 4th Rnd

Grrrrr, ** *:@ {:}{“$% [1-0 loss and good bye FA cup]

Fulham 1-3 Chelsea EPL

Danny resumes normal service with Mo and beats Mo at home with the usual 3-1 margin. [They scored one, then another and then another and then we might have scored sometime in the 90 minutes, 3-1 loss]

Anderlecht 1-0 Fulham EURO Cup 1st Knockout Round

After the first leg at home draw of 0-0 at which Mo could not attend, Anderlecht who had entered the EURO Cup via an exit from the champion’s league group secured a one goal lead early in the second to which Fulham had no answer. [1-0 aggregate loss, the only positive thing being that with Danny at Chelsea and Mark at Newcastle both in the EURO Cup. It would have been an impossible task to win the cup with two other top managers still in the cup competition]

Aston Villa 0-1 Fulham EPL

Villa are Fulham supporters best liked team. Villa exited the FA cup at Fulhams hands and even let Fulham do the double over them this season. Sam made Villa into such a generous team for Fulham.[We scored one and they didn’t!]

Fulham 1-0 Everton EPL

ToffeeWeb – The independent Everton website…….how can you be so blue and independent…..maybe the site was set-up by an individual Everton supporter! Anyhow the website predicted that Everton will win by a solitary goal, the site unfortunately forgot to mention that Niall is past his sell by date and the new godfather ‘goat’ has taken over his patch. Fulham again took the game to Everton and what did the EPL champions do? Sit behind the ball against a Fulham side whose manager was under pressure to win some games…..de javu? Everton tried to counterattack Fulham, Everton sat too deep in their own half and is possibly why they lost this match. Fulham deserved this win and in all honesty Isaakson in the Evertonion goal was outstanding in denying Fulham 2 other clear cut chances. Everton did pressed late on down the wings, but the five man Fulham defence held firm for once.WIN 1-0

With games left against West Brom, Blackburn, Middlesbrough, Portsmouth, Man Utd, QPR and Birmingham in the EPL. Mo has been under pressure from the early start of the season. It is a matter of time that the Fulham supporters persuade the chairman to kick Mo out as they already have been lobbying the Harrods store by refusing to pay £50 for a tie.

Mo personally thinks that Fulham should be grateful for having such an ambitious manager as Mo. Mo led Fulham to the FA cup last season and even managed to clinch the signing of Arsenals Kolo Touré on a free transfer in the January transfer window for next season, beating the likes of Everton for his signature. Mo is keeping his promises of:

a) Hampering Niall – Taking 3 points off the Everton manager was very satisfying.

b) Good run in the cups – Lets skip this one!

c) Improved the squad – Signed Huth from Chelsea - 6million , Robbie Keane from Liverpool – 9.5 million

d) Fulham sitting in 12th in the EPL currently, above last years position of 13th. The supporters expect a midtable finish.

e) Fulham are within their wage budget and in a satisfactory financial state.

One thing is evitable soon, Mo is aware of his destiny at Fulham……maybe that’s why he has turned to the dark side!

[kndusr19]

Season 5 Update - Et tu Brutus

As season 5 commenced, Mo offered the supporters player of the year ‘Roy Carroll’ to the elite of Europe and Everton. Arsenal made a bid of 8million for the 32 year old keeper which was too good to turn down. Unfortunately the reserve keeper at Fulham had left on a free transfer as he was not getting a look in with Roy Carroll on form. At this point Mo realised that he did not have a keeper in place for the big kick for the new season and made numerous bids for keepers high and low on the cheap and even a 10million bid for Ivan Pelizzoli! Unfortunately nobody came to London to see Fulham, but rumours where that some clubs were tempted to accept my generous offer, but the evil Evertonion eye of Mordor scared clubs away.

Season 5 game highlights

This season, Fulham will be using the new Dunga format of stating if we won, lost or drew the game, as some supporters were confused a number of times when Fulham supporters started to cheer each time Fulham conceded a goal! Apparently this was not caused by confusion with Fulham supporters allegiance, it was a case of that the Fulham supporters were listening on their radio’s to teams playing against Everton. As Everton conceded time in the EPL, a raptious cheer went up in the Fulham stands!

Fulham 0-1 Everton Community Shield

With no first choice keeper, a set-piece frailty undid Fulham. Everton players were diving all over the place and a free kick just outside the box proved the decisive goal. The Fulham left-back traore was also red carded in a very harsh decision. The Fulham players were told to go out and enjoy the day and make Everton life hard. The left back tough the instructions a bit too literally and has been duly reprimanded and transfer listed immediately after this match. [We didn’t score, they dived – So 1-0 loss]

Liverpool 3-3 Fulham EPL

Still without a first choice keeper, and down 3-0 at one point. Fulham’s greatest ever comeback to level the game at 3-3. [3 a piece – a draw]

Fulham 1-4 Tottenham EPL

Still without a first choice keeper, long range shots from Rick’s team crushed Fulham at home and possibly was the turning point in the eyes of Fulham supporters about Mo’s managerial ability. [Anyone who had a shot scored and we got a consolation 4-1 loss]

Fulham 2-1 Aston Villa EPL

Sam’s Villa. Mo does not remember the game, as Mo would have taken the pi** out of Sam after this win. [2-1 and Fulham won this time!]

West Brom 0-0 Fulham EPL

Never underestimate Chris, Chris is hard to beat on a very good day, and shows signs of the 'force'. So glad to get a point at West Brom [No goals – you work it out!]

Fulham 0-1 Portsmouth EPL

Andy is a goat, but he acted like a sheep this time by ramming Fulham. Showed enough class to make his claim to the EPL trophy. [A 1-0 deserved win for goat……that was hard to say!]

Bolton 1-1 Fulham League Cup Quarter Final

After a 1-1 draw against Bolton in Fulham. Pagi’s former took Fulham to penalties and duly dispatched Fulham out of the league cup. Since robbing Bolton two season’s ago which allowed Pagi to be crowned as Pagi the second, Bolton have never lost to Fulham since. [Lost on Penalties, Mo does not recall what the final penalty count was, a big loss]

Fulham 2-1 Birmingham EPL

Danny is always hard to beat and usually beats me 3 goals to 1. On this occasion he had an off day and could not believe that the Birmingham talisman Alessio Ammendolea had only scored one against Fulham. Always mark Alessio Ammendolea with 2 defenders, 1 midfielder, 1 winger, just get the whole team to mark this man! [Another win because we scored two and they scored one!]

Tottenham 1-1 Fulham EPL

Always hard to get a point against Rick, could have had all three if Spurs had not scored! [A draw]

Everton 0-1 Fulham EPL

The ref was intimidated in this game the Everton minders and duly gave a penalty to ease Evertons league position. The stats will show that Everton have had more penalties at their ground than any other EPL team, Mo thinks this is very sinister!OK, we lost this by a penalty that should not have been given!

Aston Villa 1-2 Fulham FA Cup 3rd Rnd

The ghosts of the FA cup final are laid to rest in this match. This was a replay of last seasons FA cup final in which Sam disappeared after being escorted off my Niall’s minders. Sam was allowed to attend this match by Niall and duly saw his side lose out 2-1. [Hurrah, a 2-1 win]

Newcastle 2-1 Fulham EPL

Mo was hoping that Mark would not take the helm of Newcastle before this match. Luckily Mark was playing Tom and Jerry in his house and Mo’s wish was granted. Unfortunately even without Mark’s guidance, Newcastle recorded a well deserved victory. [2-1 loss]

Fulham 1-2 Southampton EPL

While Dave was on gardening leave, Southampton recorded a damaging victory for Fulham’s manager. [A bad 2-1 Home defeat against fellow strugglers]

Derby 1-0 Fulham FA Cup 4th Rnd

Grrrrr, ** *:@ {:}{“$% [1-0 loss and good bye FA cup]

Fulham 1-3 Chelsea EPL

Danny resumes normal service with Mo and beats Mo at home with the usual 3-1 margin. [They scored one, then another and then another and then we might have scored sometime in the 90 minutes, 3-1 loss]

Anderlecht 1-0 Fulham EURO Cup 1st Knockout Round

After the first leg at home draw of 0-0 at which Mo could not attend, Anderlecht who had entered the EURO Cup via an exit from the champion’s league group secured a one goal lead early in the second to which Fulham had no answer. [1-0 aggregate loss, the only positive thing being that with Danny at Chelsea and Mark at Newcastle both in the EURO Cup. It would have been an impossible task to win the cup with two other top managers still in the cup competition]

Aston Villa 0-1 Fulham EPL

Villa are Fulham supporters best liked team. Villa exited the FA cup at Fulhams hands and even let Fulham do the double over them this season. Sam made Villa into such a generous team for Fulham.[We scored one and they didn’t!]

Fulham 1-0 Everton EPL

ToffeeWeb – The independent Everton website…….how can you be so blue and independent…..maybe the site was set-up by an individual Everton supporter! Anyhow the website predicted that Everton will win by a solitary goal, the site unfortunately forgot to mention that Niall is past his sell by date and the new godfather ‘goat’ has taken over his patch. Fulham again took the game to Everton and what did the EPL champions do? Sit behind the ball against a Fulham side whose manager was under pressure to win some games…..de javu? Everton tried to counterattack Fulham, Everton sat too deep in their own half and is possibly why they lost this match. Fulham deserved this win and in all honesty Isaakson in the Evertonion goal was outstanding in denying Fulham 2 other clear cut chances. Everton did pressed late on down the wings, but the five man Fulham defence held firm for once.WIN 1-0

With games left against West Brom, Blackburn, Middlesbrough, Portsmouth, Man Utd, QPR and Birmingham in the EPL. Mo has been under pressure from the early start of the season. It is a matter of time that the Fulham supporters persuade the chairman to kick Mo out as they already have been lobbying the Harrods store by refusing to pay £50 for a tie.

Mo personally thinks that Fulham should be grateful for having such an ambitious manager as Mo. Mo led Fulham to the FA cup last season and even managed to clinch the signing of Arsenals Kolo Touré on a free transfer in the January transfer window for next season, beating the likes of Everton for his signature. Mo is keeping his promises of:

a) Hampering Niall – Taking 3 points off the Everton manager was very satisfying.

b) Good run in the cups – Lets skip this one!

c) Improved the squad – Signed Huth from Chelsea - 6million , Robbie Keane from Liverpool – 9.5 million

d) Fulham sitting in 12th in the EPL currently, above last years position of 13th. The supporters expect a midtable finish.

e) Fulham are within their wage budget and in a satisfactory financial state.

One thing is evitable soon, Mo is aware of his destiny at Fulham……maybe that’s why he has turned to the dark side!

[AsherDSSc]

Alot has been said over the past few weeks regarding the rivalry between the 2 World Class managers of EPL, Rick Boult and Danny King. Both men believe there side are capable of catching the suprising leaders of the league at the moment Portsmouth and both think they have what it takes to win the F.A Cup. Fate, as it would have it, see's the 2 playing head to head twice within a week :- the stakes couldn't be highers.

It is well known King's main priority is the F.A Cup as it would represent a major peice of silverware in his first season at Chelski whereas Boult's main aspirations still lie in the final League position his Spurs side land.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> 'The board and fans all season long have been great. It's been my first full season at White Hart Lane and the pressure has been off somewhat. A respectable midtable finish is all that has been asked of the squad, but myself being the top draw manager that i am knew the team had more potential than that. Yes, i'll concede the title of Champions has already surpassed us, but 2nd place is still very attainable and i'll be doing everything in my power to make sure we get there.' </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Both manager will believe they have what it takes to win both games but as the probable line-ups show, Spurs look the stronger over 2 legs.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

| Tottenham Hotspur | Chelski |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Goalkeeper | Paul Robinson | Goalkeeper | Some Rent Boy |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Right Back | Mark Wilson | Right Back | Some Rent Boy |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Left Back | Anthony Gardner | Left Back | Some Rent Boy |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Centre Half | Ledley King | Centre Half | Some Rent Boy |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Centre Half | Vincent Kompany | Centre half | Some Rent Boy |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Right Wing | Salvatore Gambino | Right Wing | Some Rent Boy |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Left Wing | Stewart Downing | Left Wing | Some Rent Boy |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Central Mid | Daryl Smylie | Central Mid | Some Rent Boy |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Central Mid | Freddy Guarin | Central Mid | Some Rent Boy |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Striker | Jermain Defoe | Striker | Some Rent Boy |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Striker | James Mcfadden | Striker | Some Rent Boy |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

</pre>

With the 2 sides shown above, Boult has to be the more confident...

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> 'It would be nice to get my first win over Danny King. Although i respect him as a fellow manager, comments he has recently made in the media regarding my relegation with Blackburn are disrespectful to myself. Hopefully me kicking his ass twice in a week will show him i'm a changed man, and i don't mean just the colour of my hair' </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

[BelfastNiall]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by kndusr19:

Aston Villa 1-2 Fulham

FA Cup 3rd Rnd

The ghosts of the FA cup final are laid to rest in this match. This was a replay of last seasons FA cup final in which Sam disappeared after being escorted off my Niall’s minders. Sam was allowed to attend this match by Niall and duly saw his side lose out 2-1. [Hurrah, a 2-1 win] </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Just for the record, Niall has never prevented anyone from attending a game but Sam's dodgy commentary file caused his premature exit after 8 minutes.

In my opinion, the gentlemanly thing to do would have been to re-start the FA Cup final as only 8 mins were played, but no such offer was forthcoming from the Fulham manager who was 1-0 up at the time.

[kndusr19]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by BelfastNiall:

In my opinion, the gentlemanly thing to do would have been to re-start the FA Cup final as only 8 mins were played, but no such offer was forthcoming from the Fulham manager who was 1-0 up at the time. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

The darkside don't have gentlemen . It wouldn't have happened if you didn't send one of your heavies round to update his system

Anyhow as your opinion doesn't count anyway .......but if it did, try to put forth your opinion nearer the event.....becuase at Fulham we look ahead and not at the past like Everton

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by BelfastNiall:

Just for the record, Niall has never prevented anyone from attending a game...

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

For the record, Niall gets his heavies to do it, he never gets his hands dirty

[BelfastNiall]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by kndusr19:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by BelfastNiall:

In my opinion, the gentlemanly thing to do would have been to re-start the FA Cup final as only 8 mins were played, but no such offer was forthcoming from the Fulham manager who was 1-0 up at the time. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

The darkside don't have gentlemen . It wouldn't have happened if you didn't send one of your heavies round to update his system

Anyhow as your opinion doesn't count anyway .......but if it did, try to put forth your opinion nearer the event.....becuase at Fulham we look ahead and not at the past like Everton

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by BelfastNiall:

Just for the record, Niall has never prevented anyone from attending a game...

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

For the record, Niall gets his heavies to do it, he never gets his hands dirty </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Whatever.

There is a known cure for madness I believe Mr Mo, but you appear to be beyond help.

[AsherDSSc]

Nobody like my update

Took me 25 minutes to do it and i even put code in

[kndusr19]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by AsherDSSc:

Nobody like my update

Took me 25 minutes to do it and i even put code in </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I liked it rent boy Rick <STRIKE>Keeps Rick happy for a while, I like 'the pianist' aswell! </STRIKE>

I took around 3 hours to do my update [slow thinker!] and then you get the satisfaction that I managed to wind up Mr Niall Murphy....... it was worth it?....... PRICELESS

[BelfastNiall]

When Everton get a staggering 22 seperate mentions Mo, it's comes as no surprise we are seen as the top team in the land.

[AsherDSSc]

I never said i liked the Pianist that was tart Murphy

[kndusr19]

This is what I like about Mr Niall Murphy.....he is currently got his agent and supercomputers in trying to work out the hidden messages in my report.............Does this man have no purpose in life but to count how many times Everton get mentioned? Mel, it's not too late....get out while you can!

[BelfastNiall]

Everybody run, Goat's on the forum.

[keedo666]

Once again i find myself sitting at my computer trying to put down onto paper what has befallen my newcastle team since my last report- indeed the "Jekyll and Hyde" nature of my team has not only left me an emotional wreck, but i find myself constantly thinking about my Newcastle team wherever i am, be it who im going to sell to bring in some much needed cash to the toon army coffers, whilst im down the pub with the lads, or far more worryingly,while enjoying a sexual liaison with my moderately attractive on/off girlfriend, how im going to get one other his scouseness, the veritable git Mr.Williams-in all serious does he have a first name? I've never heard it!...I'll give an update when i find out but its odds on that hes either a romanian illegal immigrant of no fixed abode, or a norwegian cod fisherman called Olaf-you read it here first! (i have no idea what this emoticon means..RAZZ??-so i thought id throw it in)

Anyway back to the football matters at hand, once again my team have spluttered from match to match struggling to find that bit of consistency that makes the difference between a decent team and a team who can "sow their seed" in europe.

My results have been as follows

Fa cup 6th round

Newcastle 2-0 Charlton(home)

Goals- Buffel,Corvia

Facing a relegated charlton team at a precursory glance one would assume that they could be rolled over with relative ease, due to the gap in quality between the two divisions, however with Van Persie and Gronkjaer the jokers in the deck- the hand i'd been dealt was not looking so fantastic-don't get me wrong i wasn't going to slit my own wrists but it could have been an easier draw. Anyway i could not have asked for a better start as Buffel rounded 3 players before dealing a quick 1-2 to the livewire Corvia who chipped the ball up for Buffel to smash home from some 35yds, sixteen seconds gone and 1-0 on the board, maybe i could bag 5/6...maybe not, from then on they played the rafa benitez liverpool champions league tactics and sat behind the ball hoping to bore the opposition to deaf... so this went on until 85 mins with minimal action to report when i decided enough was enough and told Corvia to drop deep, which yielded imediate results when he took the ball from Buffel and smashed it in from the edge of the box- at this point i stop to appreciate the moment- I know how it feels to be jesus, albeit instead of feeding the 5000- cracking open the brazil nut that is charltons defence with my butt cheeks.

2-0 and game over booking me a berth in the semi-final and a trip to new wembley against Man Utd. This doesn't phase me as to be honest at the moment in untouchable- walking on water...in summary i am jesus- albeit with more charisma and less beard.

My next match was in the league against Coventry at St.James' Park

newcastle 0-0 coventry

Rock bottom Coventry were welcomed to St. James' needing victory to give themselves a chance of survival but more feasibly a chance to avoid the drop until the next match day. Thus with this nugget of information in mind i approached the match in high spirits believing that it would be a goal fest, a chance for my strikers to "fill their boots" so to speak. Unforunately someone had forgotten to tell the Coventry manager that a win was a necessity to stay up as i found myself once again facing a team with the man behind the ball philosophy . Despite completely dominating the match they held out for a draw and were relegated, a lesson to be learned here surely

After the game a less than jovial D'Ardenne had this to say

"Bunch of tossers"

Newcastle 2-0 leicester(away-league-please.. like leicester would be in a cup at this stage of the season)

Goals- Corvia,Buffel

I was once again on my travels to the walkers stadium, home of crisps and the big eared buffoon gary lineker. A relatively easy victory ensued as expected with two clinically taken goals by the usual suspects, with many players bing rested before the big game against United.

So once again it all came down to a solitary game that could decide whether my season was a success or a failure, and being that my side had "fluffed their lines" against sporting in the UEFA cup i decided to give them the day off prior to the match and instead took them to germany home of the humble sausage and hairy women to ride motorized toilets down Bonns' snowy peaks- surprisingly and much to the annoyance of pre race favourite Ludovic Butelle, who claimed to have experience in the art of toilet racing, Andy"big turd" O'Brien was victorious on the day notching up a respectable time of 2 minutes and 19 seconds. Wooden spoon went to wesley Sonck for refusing to take part and then getting frostbite in his nether-regions.

The squad relaxed and focused, the day of the game arrived and the excitement in the air was tangible as the ever-faithful geordie masses made wembley theirs for the day despite the long journey down, where as the majority of the Man Utd supporters travelled as far afield from kensington, and across the london underground.

Newcastle 0-0 Man Utd(Wembley, FA cup Semi-0-0 AET pens =Newcastle 2-1 Man utd)

As the above scoreline suggests this match was rather eventless goal wise but Man u had Newcastle on the rack for most of the game, newcastle only keeping their noses above water courtesy of excellent defesive work by the maturing Steven Taylor© and fantastic goalkeeping by the ever improving Butelle.

After extra time in which Dede was sent off for a second bookable offence the match went to the dreaded penalty shootout, particularly so as the average penalty taking number for the 11 newcastle players on the pitch was 6.5 with a plethora of 2's among that. As i sat nervously on my seat as rooney began his run up i suddenly felt my stomach turn, could it be that i knew i was going to lose, or could it be the pizza i just ate, found under my bed from some days/weeks previously. Either way it was a decidedly unpleasant feeling and i could not help but think that it was a premonition of my exit from the cup and my last chance of silverware. After Rooney stylishly smashed the ball home in to the roof of the net Kluivert by now a veteran of 32 steped up and cool as ice slotted it into the corner of the net sending the young Rensing the wrong way and making him look a right pillock. Man Utd missed their next pen and i woped with delight at the prospect of going 2-1 up as Murphy would surely score-after all he had made it a habit of constantly scoring from the spot against Man Utd while at liverpool. i sat back a warm glow enveloping me.... but he missed.. i was speechless the absolute git, instantly i guessed foul play and sure enough the titters of his scouseness williams could be heard resounding throughout mIRC- obviously Murphy was under instruction to miss from Williams. At this point i cussed Murphy for missing only for Murphy(Niall) to repsond that i should not demean his family name- i would like to appologise for any offence caused and can assure Murhy(Niall) that no offence was intended after all is it not the case that all irish are related and indeed called Murphy as they are all related(hence the deformity caused by years of inbreeding!)

Back to the football and taylor and faty both went on to miss their pens but fortunately Man Utd were finding goals just as hard to come by with Rensing the GK being told to take the 4th pen which he duly missed. so 4 pens taken and the score a paltry 1-1! O'Shea stepped up for united and blazed it over-suddenly i had a chance-if Lescott could score then a berth in the final could be mine!(knowing that in my excitement previously i had spilt beer all over the floor i placed my glass of merlot to one side) Up stepped Lescott and...........GOALLLLLLLL he powered it into the net, i went wild jumping around ecstatically in my chair and unfortunately in my excitement knocking over my glass of wine all over the floor(yes next to both the beer and mouse blood stains) indeed thats how i've started to chart my progress on FM-the more stains the better my team perform!

Newcastle 0-2 Villa(away, league)

Goals- Suazo, Lampard

As the bolton game previously this game came too soon and my weary team could barely get a look in as they were dominated by Sams well drilled villa outfit- to be honest the score could and perhaps should have been far greater, and this impressive performance by the villains(despite my teams tiredness) belies the fact that they languish in 12th in the league- i expect better from them next year, as well as looking forward to playing them again hopefully with a different result!

So as my report draws to a close once again i take a minute of time to detail what lies in store for Newcastle both in the near and distant future. FA cup success is obviously the priority as it could also get us into europe as well as the chance of some silverware to fill the empty chasm that is the Newcastle trophy cabinet, i don't know who im playing but no matter who it is im sure my biys won't let this side down and will be up for the big occasion, as for meim settled in the job and won't look to be leaving unless the Monaco job comes up!

Looking to the future sessions it remains to be seen whether Mo or Williams(no first name) will get the shove first(just kidding) but its gonna be fun finding out, as the season draws to a close the rebuilding process will begin in earnest in the summer and i promise the supporters that i will do everything in my power to take the club forward, oh and by the way good luck to Niall as he "lives the dream" in eurpe with the toffees-best of luck mate

[Dunga99]

Premiership Game 25

Chelsea 2

Drogba 13 Cassano 63

QPR 0

Man of the Match: Bridge 8/10 Chelsea

Attendance-42418

Refereed by Alan Wiley

An easy victory for my boys in a workman like fashion with good goals from Both Drogba and Cassano and those two are looking a good partnership for next season.

2-0 Win

Uefa Cup 1st Round Knockout 1st Leg

Chelsea 5

J.Cole 1, 13 Cani 19 C.Cole 50 D’Alessandro 89

Sparta Prague 0

Man of the Match: J.Cole 10/10 Chelsea

Attendance-36594

Refereed by Carlos Megia Davila

A awesome all-round effort from my team and we could have even scored even more but at half time being 3-0 up I took off some of my best players for a much needed break and looked to sit on the lead. Second half got 2 more which means I can put out a 2nd team in the return leg. 5-0 Win

Premiership Game 26

Chelsea 3

Cassano 14, 17 Ballack 43

Portsmouth 0

Man of the Match: Cassano 9/10 Chelsea

Attendance-42444

Refereed by Chris Foy

Andy teams took a beating in this match but he will point out that his goal keeper kicked the ball to my players twice in the centre circle in the lead up to the first two goals. When I first arrived at Chelsea I saw Ballack was a 32 years old and drawing 80k per week from my wage budget so I put him straight on the transfer list. Lucky enough there was no interest for him. Due to the amount of games Chelsea is playing he got his chance and took it with both hands and has been an amazing player for me so far. Back to the game and Portsmouth were never in the game and was out classed from start to finish .

3-0 Win

Uefa Cup 1st Round Knockout 2nd Leg

Sparta Prague 0

Chelsea 0

Man of the Match: Hunt 9/10 Chelsea

Attendance-20430

Refereed by Carlos Megia Davila

With the Carling cup final only 3 days away and us already being 5-0 up from the 1st leg I put out a mostly second team for this game. There were little highlights from the game other than the performance of Hunt who played in a DMC role but whose natural role is a defender. 0-0 Draw

Carling Cup Final

Liverpool 1

Holm 84

Chelsea 1

Cani 21

Man of the Match: Nesta 9/10 Chelsea

Attendance-89982

Refereed by Rob Styles

The big one next and I was looking to win my first trophy as Chelsea as manger in fact my first trophy in EPL. Major players missing for Chelsea was Rosicky and John Terry so in stepped Nesta and Cani. First half each team tested each other with a few long range efforts but nothing really troubling the keeper until Cani picked up the ball in the centre circle and had a one two with D’Alessandro before hitting an unstoppable shot in the bottom left corner. After the Goal Cani was behind every thing good for Chelsea with some fine passing until Rob Styles gave him a yellow card for a tackle. At half time knowing Rob Styles loves to give out red a card I replace Cani with J Cole and that’s when the game turned and Liverpool came back into the game and started to play well. Then with 15 minutes left Holm comes onto the pitch and this guy always scores against me and he didn’t fail again and pulled Liverpool level in the game in the 84 minute. Extra time came and went with little highlights expect a few long range efforts again. Then to a penalty shot out and as I have never won one on Football manager I didn’t hold out much hope. Surprise, Surprise I lost. Lost 4-3 pens

1. Caragher Scored

2. Holm Scored

3. Olic Missed

4. Gerrard Scored

5. Gorlite Scored

1. D’Alessandro Scored

2. Mutu Missed

3. Ballack Scored

4. Nesta Scored

5. Drogba Missed

After the game King said

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Losing to penalty’s is always hard to take and I do feel we had done enough in the 120 minutes to win the game out right but these things happen in football and we have to pick ourselves up and continue for the rest of the season as we still have the FA Cup and UEFA to play for. To be honest I don’t know what’s worse losing to penalty’s or losing the final with the last kick off the game like I did against Everton a couple of season back when I was manager of Birmingham City. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

FA Cup 4th Rd

Yeovil 2

Pead 6 Mirza 71

Chelsea 4

Wihelmsson 4, 90 Ballack 22 Mwafulirea 50

Man of the Match: Wihelmsson 10/10 Chelsea

Attendance-9583

Refereed by Matthew Reed

At least after the morale killing game like the final I had a low league team who shouldn’t pose any problem. I put out a largely 2nd team for this game and was looking for any easy win. First Half Wihelmsson gave us the lead with a fine effort on goal and then 2 minutes later Yeovil scored from a free kick after a cruel deflection. Business as usual as Ballack and Mwafulirea give us a 2 goal lead until Mirrza scores a Marco Van Basten type goal to give Yeovil hope. Wihelmsson then kills of any hope for a replay with a goal in the dieing second’s. 4-2 Win

Premiership Game 27

Birmingham City 2

Ammendolea 12 Adu 89

Chelsea 1

Cassano 54

Sent off: Gallas 49 minute Chelsea

Man of the Match: Esposito 8/10 Birmingham City

Attendance-39918

Refereed by Uriah Rennie

My first game back at St Andrews and my old team is on fine form currently sitting 4th in the league. Right from the kick off the fans are letting me know what they think of me for walking away from the Brum Job. I think the pressure gets to the players with all the media build up in the run up to the game. Ellegard who has been on great form and keeping De Sanatics out the team make a mistake and gifts Ammendolea a goal to give Birmingham the lead. Send half and the crowd are in full voice and it seemed to give Gallas a rush of blood to his head and he get a red card after a needless foul. Being down to 10 men Cassano then pops up with a trade mark goal and levels the game. With the game heading for a draw Adu then kills off Chelsea brave fight back with a last minute goal. 2-1 Defeat

Uefa Cup 2nd Round Knockout 1st Leg

Chelsea 5

Drogba 25 Ballack pen 32 pen 45 Mwafulirwa 43 C.Cole 90

Fenerbahce 0

Man of the Match: Wihelmesson 10/10 Chelsea

Attendance-37933

Refereed by Carlos Megia Davila

Another 5 Star performance in Europe and again another result that well allow me to rest players for the 2nd leg. Chelsea was a joy to watch in this game and could have easily had 10 goals to there name by the end of the match. 5-0 Win

Uefa Cup 2nd Round Knockout 2nd Leg

Fenerbahce 1

Semith 74

Chelsea 0

Man of the Match: Cavit 9/10 Fenerbahce

Attendance-51970

Refereed by Lubos Michel

Second team out again and we played some good stuff again but couldn’t find our way pass the Fenerbahce goal keeper who was worthy of his man of the match award. Have HSV in the next round that will prove a test for my team. 1-0 Defeat

Premiership Game 28

Chelsea 4

Drogba 22 Cassano 70, 79 Rosicky 77

Liverpool 1

Medjane 47

Man of the Match: Cassano 9/10 Chelsea

Attendance-42404

Refereed by Matt Messias

A chance to get some payback against the Liverpool team that beat me in the Carling Cup final. The big new’s before the game was that Rosicky would be making his first start for the club in 4 weeks and he is a big welcome back to our team with the vital run of games we have coming up. Liverpool start the better of both teams with a few early chances but against the run of play Drogba scores an outstanding goal and that the way it stayed in the first half. Liverpool then get a goal back in the second half and the feeling here we go again runs in my mind but then Gerrard gets a red card and Chelsea goes on the attack. The Best Italian Striker in the premiership then hits a double either side of Rosicky fine solo goal to give us the win 4-1 Win

More to follow soon

[keedo666]

didn't know you'd signed Pazzini mate....oh wait you havn't

[AsherDSSc]

Back with my bird lads, life is good

Oh yeah and im ****ed

[keedo666]

hey Danny are you still in the FA Cup or not-just trying to work out who im playing in the final

[wi11iams]

[Dunga99]

Results…

Premiership Game 29

Chelsea 2

Drogba 45 D’Alessandro 90

Tottenham 1

Torres 73

Man of the Match: Ellegarrd 9/10 Chelsea

Attendance-42417

Refereed by Barry Knight

With the big game build up before the game from Rick Boult calling Chelsea a bunch of rent boys my lads was well up for this game. This was an even game with both teams canceling each other out playing the same formation. Drogba had given Chelsea the lead one the stroke of half time. Then Torres a sub made by Boult pulled Tottenham level in the game, only for my sub D’Alessandro to give us the win with the last kick of the game.

2-1 Win

FA Cup 5th Rd

Tottenham 0

Chelsea 3

Cassano 12 Ballack pen 17 C Cole 90

Man of the Match: J Cole 10/10 Chelsea

Attendance-47986

Refereed by Graham Poll

My second game against Tottenham is 4 days but this time there manager had taken himself down the pub for a much needed pint after getting knocked out the FA cup.

Without Rick at the helm Tottenham just didn’t play that well and we found ourselves 2 up inside 17 minutes. Both teams could have scored a couple of goals but for the fine goal keeping from both sides. C Cole sealed the win for us in the 90th minute for a good win in the league against a high flying Spurs team. 3-0 Win

Uefa Cup Qtr Final1st Leg

HSV 1

Maayen 25

Chelsea 3

Terry pen 50 J Cole 53 Drogba 56

Sent off: Kruppke 48 min

Man of the Match: Drogba 9/10 Chelsea

Attendance-55417

Refereed by Wilie Young

Early part of this game HSV was all over me playing some good football and got the lead with a well worked goal from the midfield. They could have scored more but the Chelsea defence was working well unlike the rest of the team. The game changed in the second half with the red card to HSV and then a penalty which Terry put away to level the game. Then a quick double from J Cole and Drogba gave us the advantage in the second leg of this tie. 3-1 Win

Premiership Game 30

Chelsea 2

D’Alessandro 49 Ballack pen 65

Birmingham 0

Man of the Match: D’Alessandro 8/10 Chelsea

Attendance-42431

Refereed by Alan Wiley

With Chelsea and Birmingham both firing on all cylinders this was always going to be a close game and this time Chelsea managed to keep all 11 men on the pitch for this encounter. That man D’Alessandro scored again for the blues and Ballack sealed the game with another penalty kick. 2-0 Win

Uefa Cup Qtr Final 2nd Leg

Chelsea 3

Drogba 25, 55, 71

HSV 2

Hleb 15 Jarolim 54

Man of the Match: Drobga 10/10 Chelsea

Attendance-37950

Refereed by Carlos Megia Davila

A magical hat trick from Drogba gave us the win against a very good HSV team. To win a cup you have to have a slice of luck in games in game and no doubt over the two legs in this tie with had our fair share. 3-2 Win

Premiership Game 31

Wolves 0

Chelsea 4

Cassano 17 Nesta 31 Carrick 36 Gudjohnsen 87

Man of the Match: Carrick 9/10 Chelsea

Attendance-40145

Refereed by Alan Wiley

A one sided match with Chelsea showing there class for the whole 90 minutes in the game. Cassano is really turning out to be a great buy which you would expect costing 31 million pounds but this lad has really settled in the team. 4-0 Win

Premiership Game 32

Chelsea 1

Nesta pen 79

Southampton 0

Man of the Match: Cassano 10/10 Chelsea

Attendance-42419

Refereed by Graham Poll

My first game against fellow FM Fanatics manager Dave Williams and these games are always a tight affair with me usual only putting 4 or 5 past his keeper . Today was very different with the brick wall in front of goal in the shape of Nemi. We could have played for about 10 hours and never fund away past him but lucky enough we got awarded a penalty which Nesta slotted home. Right at the end Southampton score a goal which was ruled out for being offside. 1-0 Win

Uefa Cup Semi Final 1st Leg

Chelsea 5

Drogba 19 Cani 69 Gallas 72 Mutu 83 Ballack 89

Roma 1

Toni 79

Man of the Match: Ellagaard 9/10 Chelsea

Attendance-42425

Refereed by Markus Mark

A big game against a team that but no longer could boast the talents of Totti or Cassano. This has to go down as one of the best displays from my time at Chelsea with some awesome football played by my team. In the end we could have scored more than the five but then again Roma could have had a couple more away goals but for some point blank saves from Ellagaard. 5-1 Win

Premiership Game 33

Bolton 2

Janssen 15, 37

Chelsea 3

Bonera 33 Nesta pen 41 Cassano 71

Man of the Match: Carrick 9/10 Chelsea

Attendance-27405

Refereed by Alan Wiley

Its hard to believe that Bolton are at the wrong end of the table with this kind of display and at the heart of all this was Janssen the man I brought to Birmingham and loaned out to Bolton at the start of the season when Pagi was there manager. Even with Bolton bossing most of the game this Chelsea team is high on morale and on an unbeaten run so was able to pull off a result. 3-2 Win

More to follow soon

[STFC will rule again]

4th April 2009

Middlesbrough 3

Beattie 14, 41, 74

Portsmouth 1

Carvalho 81

With Goat storming away with the title, I didn't hold out much hope in this match but the prospect of playing

the prospective league champions obviously lifted my whole team. With Beattie smacking in a glorious hat-trick

and Carvalho scoring a consolation for Pompey, we pulled off a comprehensive victory but Goat will probably blame the result on his injuries and not the fact that his team was crap . Don't think i'll be repeating

this victory anytime soon though if Goat has anything to do with it .

8th April 2009

Man Utd 2

Ambrosini 21 Ronaldinho 24

Middlesbrough 0

With goals from Ambrosini and Ronaldinho, Man Utd completely dominated this match which makes you wonder how they're doing so badly in the league with the players they have at the disposal so back to the drawing board me thinks as my team continue to have be far too much jekyll and hyde for my liking .

14th April 2009

Fulham 1

Biscan 88

Middlesbrough 1

Tudor 60

This match was definitely worth the ticket price with a sending-off and 2 missed penalties and that's only talking about Mo's team . With plenty of back and forth action, both goals came from centre-backs with Igor Tudor looking to have secured all 3 points for us after putting away a Hermansson cross but with 2 minutes to go, a corner was swung, which Forlan knocked down for Biscan leaving him with an easy finish to rescue a point for Fulham . A fair result overall and am looking forward to the next exciting installment of our exciting match-up unless of course Mo's already lost his job . Bet's have already been taking place so it's only a matter of time .

18th April 2009

Middlesbrough 1

Hanke 34

QPR 0

A well played game by my team for once, over a QPR team that's low on all-round quality. Mike Hanke scored the winning goal with a cool finish past the QPR keeper and he looks to slowly be justifying his transfer fee, I'm hoping he'll show the form that I know he's capable of next season.

25th April 2009

Birmingham 2

Ammendolea 10 Berbatov 83

Middlesbrough 0

With a front three of Adu, Ammendolea and Berbatov, Danny's old team completely outplayed my team and how they

only scored 2 goals is anyone's guess. Looks like I still have plenty of work left in turning my team from

a mid-table team into a team challenging for Europe.

2nd May 2009

Middlesbrough 0

Liverpool 2

Cisse 12 Gerrard 28

I'm struggling to work out why my team can perform brilliantly one week and completely rubbish the next . Liverpool deservedly took home the three points after Cisse and Gerrard scored from well-worked moves so yet again it's back to the drawing board, this is starting to really get on my nerves .

9th May 2009

Tottenham 4

Smylie 2 Nistelrooy 15, 29 Defoe 86

Middlesbrough 0

After getting my keeper Lewis sent off, it was downhill from there and I think it's time to totally revamp the squad as i've had enough of totally inept performances devil:devil:devil:devil: (That's only a fraction of how angry I actually am at this particular moment, lol).

[EmmYouEffSee]

Phhhhaaaaakkkin Ell

What a bloody awful season! An absolutly dismal season results in a distinct lack of reports, quite the contrary of other years. An apology is in order for both fellow EPL members and Aston Villa fans alike after a rather dissapointing year on and off the pitch unvailed.

With that in the past, there are still 3 games left in the league, and a UEFA Cup Semi Final to be played, still offering a chance for silverwear, however it seems that the league is where the fans wish to succeed and a mid table position simply isn't good enough.

Since seeing sense in the transfer market making a couple of big signings, the club has been looking forward, with crucial wins against Liverpool at Anfield, a home win against Newcastle and the european conquest away from home with 3 away goals against a somewhat tame 'Young Boys'.

Funnily enough roumers this week have been going around and it seems as if Andy Nilsen has put his players on television, on his own private channel once again. Many have stated that this has diminished morale and tired out the players, however the Goat has stuck with the same team week in week out in the league, suffering defeats that may have harmed his title challenge. He insists it hasn't been a problem with the players doing 'double duty' and working all hours of the day and night for him, things still remain on the positive side. The Goat insists he didn't inquire about putting the Young Boys team on the payrole for a special film involving both teams, 'Young Boys vs Young Girls'. Nilsen has also released titles from his Portsmouth based film industry, titled 'Casawanker', 'A Midsummer Nights Cream' and 'Weapons Of Ass Destruction'.

Looking forward to next season are all the EPL managers, especially Leo Hardy, who hopes to take his role as Blackburn Rovers boss that step further, proving everybody from that area are inbreads, hoping to work with Pompey's Nilsen on a feature film. Rick Boult also has been heard wanting to get in on the act, hoping for a cameo role in the eagally anticipated 'Shindlers Fist', describing the chance to work in that industry as something that he could only dream about.

Rock on 2008/2009

[BelfastNiall]

Disappointment for Everton

Well a rather lacklustre Premiership season from the Toffees this year as the Merseysiders finish in seventh position in the table and miss out on the Champions League Final by the narrowest of margins - the away goals rule. The Premiership campaign floundered in too many draws as Everton struggled to bring their impressive Champions League form back home to the Premiership. However, Murphy is confident that his side has the talent and the more importantly, re-newed ambition, to once again fight to become the top team in England in 2009/10.

We were very unlucky not to take home the Champions League when we stuffed Real Madrid 5-0 in the Quarter Final at Goodison after earning a 1-1 draw in the Bernabau. The semi finals saw us take on Valencia and despite losing to the Spaniards in the Mestalla by 2-0, the boys put in a tremendous fight to come back from 3-0 in the tie, to beat Valencia 3-1 at Goodison, with Everton having 13 efforts on goal and the Spanish side scoring with their only shot on target the entire match. So at 3-3 it was the Spaniards who progressed and not us.

Speaking about the season Murphy commented,

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Defensively we lost the solidity we had last season which was an important factor in us becoming Champions and a few of my more reliable players didn't live up too expectations. In the Champions League we did extremely well to reach the semi finals beating Barcelona and Real Madrid along the way, but we just didn't get the breaks against Valencia. However the season has not been a complete wash out. We still take hom the top goalscorer in Gilardino, we have the Premiership and European Player of the Year in Martin Petrov so we have much to look forward to next season. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

[wi11iams]

PREMIERSHIP DREAM STILL ALIVE

Yes you heard it here first, wonder manager David Williams has pulled off the impossible and kept his job by keeping Southampton FC in the Premier League. This tremendous feat has not gone unrecognised with Williams being handed the keys to the city and the Marshall Law of the Land. "Firstly Craig David's gonna be castrated then I'm going to concentrate on bringing the Saints back from the depths that is bottom of table obscurity, with 7 new players primed and ready to grace St Mary's the 2009-2010 season is going to prove to be their finest hour yet." The Board are yet to finalise the budget for next season but Williams hopes it will be a substancial amount to help with his reconstruction of the Club. Once again Williams will be amongst the Predetors that are..... The EPL Challenge Clan Managers.

[wi11iams]

oh ye Je m'appelle

[keedo666]

http://www.premierleague.com/en/images/club_normallogos_180x160/newcastle.gif

Enclosed in the following article is an official Newcastle United football club legal press release in relation to the scandalous publications released by one Olaf Williams in collaboratin with the left wing rag the Sun, so often favoured by impoverished, ill-educated and generally dim-witted, scouse types.

" Newcastle United not only refute all allegations that their current manager has any psychiatric health problems, but are outraged at Mr. Williams underhand tactics of trying to distract attention from his abysmal season with Southampton. Indeed the present manager as well as being a pillar of mental fortitude, has exceeded our expectations in his first 5 months in the job, guiding newcastle to a comfortable position in the premiership as well as comparative success in the cup competitions. He has the full backing of both the board and the chairman and both parties wish for the association to continue for many years. Legal action has commenced against Mr.Williams and The Sun, with Mr.Williams being ordered to attend the crown court to explain his actions and defend himself against the charges of defammation of character against Mr.D'Ardenne."

[wi11iams]

me thinks though protesteth too much

[goat261]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">

4th April 2009

Middlesbrough 3

Beattie 14, 41, 74

Portsmouth 1

Carvalho 81

With Goat storming away with the title, I didn't hold out much hope in this match but the prospect of playing

the prospective league champions obviously lifted my whole team. With Beattie smacking in a glorious hat-trick

and Carvalho scoring a consolation for Pompey, we pulled off a comprehensive victory but Goat will probably blame the result on his injuries and not the fact that his team was crap . Don't think i'll be repeating

this victory anytime soon though if Goat has anything to do with it .

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

well atleast there was some truth with the fact he will never beat me again . for some reason ben forgot to mention 9 first team players were injured and the ones who took there plac were only on 75% fitness

[keedo666]

is there any way to put a picture up that does not have a url but is from my computer?

[Dunga99]

Results…

Uefa Cup Semi Final 2nd Leg

Roma 4

De Rosi 20, 25 Pizarro 50 Penna 89

Chelsea 1

D’Alessandro 9

Man of the Match: Santana 9/10 Roma

Attendance-82189

Refereed by Helmut Fleischer

Sent out a weaken team to Roma after my big win at home as I didn’t foresee any trouble. How wrong could I have been with Chelsea falling apart in front of the Italian fans. With Chelsea off to a dream start it all went pete tong with De Rosi controlling the game in the middle of the park scoring two goals in the process. Other goals from Pizarro and Penna made it a nervous last couple of minutes to the final whistle. This has to be the worst I’ve seen Chelsea play since I took over but lucky enough we had done enough in the fist leg to make the final. 4-1 Defeat

Premiership Game 35

Chelsea 1

C Cole

Coventry 0

Man of the Match: Benaglio 9/10 Coventry

Attendance-41044

Refereed by David Lynch

I wish I took over at Chelsea a few days earlier because by the time I arrived Cole had already signed a pre contact with Wolves football to join them at the end of the season.

Coventry keeper was on fine form and it took a piece of class from Cole to give us the win with a typical striker’s goal in the bottom hand corner. 1-0 Win

FA Cup Semi Final

Chelsea 3

Drogba 6 Cassano 26 Lobont og 117

Birmingham 2

Fernandez 81, 87

Man of the Match: Cassano 10/10 Chelsea

Attendance-86364

Refereed by Chris Foy

Another game against Birmingham this must be about the 3rd time in 4 weeks that I have played them. Chelsea started the better of the two teams with Drogba giving us the lead after 6 minutes and then Cassano scores a good solo effort 20 minutes later. Second half and we are still having all the chances but can’t get that third goal that would kill off the tie. Then in the 81st minute Fernandez loses his marker and runs clear on goal and hits the ball in the bottom left hand corner. Then again he pulls the game level with another good strike on goal. Extra time is not what my team needed with all the games I have been playing so I feared the worst but the game was made easier with Basturk getting sent off and with that Chelsea went on the attack and put pressure on the Birmingham city goal. That’s when Lobont made his first mistake of the game when a shot from Cassano hit him and went into the goal. 3-2 Win

Premiership Game 36

Newcastle 0

Chelsea 1

Mutu 39

Man of the Match: Mutu 9/10 Chelsea

Attendance-52075

Refereed by Uriah Rennie

My first game against Mark and my lads didn’t have much time to recover after playing the semi final game only the day before. This was mostly a second team on the field and we did get lucky scoring against the run of play in only our one real attack on goal. Newcastle didn’t create that much either so a draw would have been a fair result.

1-0 Win

Premiership Game 36

Leicester 2

Youla 8, 17

Chelsea 0/B]

Man of the Match: Gryera 8/10 Leicester

Attendance-32485

Refereed by Simon Francis

Again only having a 2 day break since the last game and with the UEFA Cup final only 4 days again I put out a low fitness reserve team. It was only matter of team before a team would beat my team and Leicester took there chances well but I have do doubt if this was a fully fit team out on the field we wouldn’t have lost this game. 2-0 Defeat

Uefa Cup Final

Chelsea 2

Mutu 44 Drogba 46

Feyenoord 0

Bosschaart 13

Man of the Match: D’Alessandro 9/10 Chelsea

Attendance-98733

Refereed by Carlos Megia Davila

My first European final and again a chance to win my first trophy. Feyenoord are a good

team as they proved by knocking out Aston Villa in the semi and a host of other top teams on the way to the final. Due to resting players in the league my first choice 11 was fully fit and ready for this final. Almost with the first highlight in the game Feyenoord took the lead thanks to Bosschaart and I was fearing the worst after my other 2 defeats in previous final. A goal either side of half time from Mutu and Drogba sealed the game to give Chelsea the Uefa cup and there manager his first cup. 2-1 Win

Winners

Premiership Game 38

Chelsea 0

Arsenal 1

Henry 8

Man of the Match: Carroll 9/10 Arsenal

Attendance-42419

Refereed by Chris Foy

This was nothing game for Chelsea and with us already being 2nd and a win or defeat wouldn’t effort us in the league. So to help speed up the game due to my being the only game playing I went on holiday and let my assistant take control of team affairs. According to the match stats we had the best of the game but Roy Carroll was on form for Arsenal to keep us from scoring. 1-0 Defeat

FA Cup Final

Chelsea 3

Cani 17 Cassano 29, 90

Newcastle

Man of the Match: Cassano 10/10 Chelsea

Attendance-89989

Refereed by Rob Styles

Before the game I had Cassano banging on my door begging to start the game after the Newcastle manager stated in the press that he didn’t think Cassano wasn’t the best Italian Forward in the premiership and in fact is was Pazzini. Seeing the fire in Cassano eyes I knew he would do the job for me out on the pitch and ram those words down Mark throat. The final itself found Chelsea firing on all cylinders and Newcastle just didn’t get going but the 3-0 score line was a bit harsh on Newcastle as they had a great chance to score a goal when the game was at 2-0 and if they did who knows they could have gone on to win the FA Cup but in the end I feel the right team won but then again I’m bias.

I also think after Cassano double he has gone some way to prove his point. 3-0

Winners

More to follow soon

[BelfastNiall]

Been a few seasons since I did a general round up of the state of the game so with the 2009/10 season approaching and with Chris Morris' season predictions to follow here's the current state of play according to my biased eyes:

Sam Bouchard II: Aston Villa

After getting the boot from Spurs, Sam resurfaced in the midlands at Aston Villa without having to take the dreaded II after his name as somehow he had managed to secure a world class reputation at Totteringham. The Villians job was not as easy as taking on Spurs at the outset of the game and with Sam missing a few sessions it wasn't long before Deadly Doug got fed up with mid table mediocrity and young Sam was handed his P45 for the second time. Re-incarnating himself as Bouchard II, Sam has returned to the Villa hotseat and looks to have made a few good signings for the season ahead. On his CV is another FA Cup Final appearance (where Mo unsportingly ensured he could only attend for 8 minutes before being escorted off the premises) and a UEFA Cup semi final but Bouchard knows he needs to step it up in the Premiership or Deadly will be calling him in for a "chat" again pretty soon.

Leo Hardy II: Blackburn Rovers

Leo returned to EPL Challenge towards the back end of last season and immediately set out his stall in that he was back and would capture the FA Cup for Blackburn. 120 minutes of football later and Hardy was eating his words as they tumbled out of the cup quarter finals on penalty kicks. Leo was previously the Man City manager and they have just been re-promoted to the Premiership after a few wilderness years in the Championship, which Hardy points out had nothing to do with him but we don't believe him (Kevin Campbell *cough, cough, splutter, splutter*). Having had £20m to spend on joining Rovers we await to see if Leo can push for Europe next season - or if he will be be booking a package deal to Majorca once again. I hear they show Channel 992 there.

Danny King II : Chelsea

Danny finally realised that having taken Birmingham to the Carling Cup Final and lost to the better team, Everton of course, and also having taken Brum to the Champions League that he had taken Brum as far as he could. At least that is my interpretation and I'm sure Mr Nilsen would second it. Therefore when Abramovich's money came calling, Danny got pounds signs flashing before his eyes and looked for the quickest exit from St Andrews. Inheriting an oldish team - on the pitch he also handily found Chelsea still in the UEFA Cup and the two domestic cup competitions and went on to take advantage winning the FA Cup and the UEFA Cup and losing the Carling Cup Final on penalties to Liverpool. A successful season for Mr King then. With Chelsea one of the three really top squads managed by humans at the minute, they will be one of the sides we all have to beat to gain silverware next season as Danny implements his 4-1-2-1-2 formation down at Stamford.

Niall Murphy: Everton

Having won the Premiership in convincing style in 2007/08 Murphy is the first to hold his hands up and admit he didn't put up a great defence of the trophy last season finishing 7th in the table. However, some convincing performances in Europe against Barcelona, Madrid and Valencia seem to have placated the board and the fans who were not too happy with the league campaign and re-established the "fear factor" in the EPL. Murphy is back with a new formation this season (another 4-4-2 variation) and has a formidable looking squad at his disposal for the forthcoming campaign. The second of the three great human teams in the Premiership at the moment (never one to blow my own trumpet), I am hoping that not having Champions League football this season will result in the title returning to Goodison Park. It's only on loan Andy.

Mo Ilyas: Fulham

With daily votes of confidence from Al Fayed, the Fulham board hold more elections on their manager than democracy was ever intended for. Mo has been walking a thin line for quite some time down at Fulham and many are awaiting him finally losing his balance and topping over. Not I, of course.

Having delivered the FA Cup to the unfashionable outfit in 2007/08 many expected Fulham to be up around the European spots last season but this didn't quite materialise. In fact, they didn't really get close. With Mo continuing to employ a very defensive five at the back formation, one wonders how long he can continue with this approach before the P45 is popped into the post and Mrs Ilyas has the nan bread ready for a consoling sandwich and cup of tea for her under pressure hubby. However one must not dwell with delight for too long on Mo's problems as he has signed Vonlanthen, Sonck and Toure in the summer and I feel this will be the year Fulham may start to deliver in the Premiership. Either that or Mo will be out of a job by Christmas.

Ben Jackson: Middlesbrough

Ben has yet to make his mark on the Premiership as he enters his second full season at the Riverside. A 14th placed finish last season and Ben consistently bemoaning inconsistency as the reason for his troubles. Yawn..stretch...zzzzz.....However, in fairness he would appear to be correct as Middlesbrough have impressed in the domestic cup competitions and Terry Wogan's number one fan can count himself unlucky not to have made it to Wembley just yet. Looks to have made a few new signings for the new campaign so Boro fans will be hopeful they will soon be experiencing some of the joys of a short-lived Liggins era at the Riverside.

Mark D'Ardenne: Newcastle United

EPL Challenge's "fancy dan foreigner" is Mark D'Ardenne, the Monaco fan who has taken over the reigns at Newcastle United. With footballing opinions such as "Tony Adams was sh*t" and "Evra is better than Zidane", many were openly sceptical about D'Ardenne's football knowledge and rightly so. In his short spell so far on Tyneside he has taken Newcastle to the FA Cup Final and was unfortunate to come up against a strong Chelsea side. With an overhaul of the Newcastle squad underway it remains to be seen how the Geordies will do next season. Has got involved in several public spats with Williams of Southampton which is an interesting side show and a cause of much amusement. A renouned "Mouse Murderer" the Frenchie will be hoping to fry the opposition next season. Boy that was a poor joke...

Andy Nilsen: Portsmouth

After taking Pompey from the Champions League to mid table mediocrity in the space of 12 months, Andy bounced back in style by winning the Premiership last season and not many would argue he deserved the title (I would though and maybe Danny as well ) with his side playing some very attractive attacking football. However, undoubtedly the fact that all of his rivals were playing European football was a huge factor in this success which was proven by the end of season run in. Then again Nilsen is renouned for his fortune. Whereas Pompey started the season on fire - when they finally got a few injuries the result was that they stumbled over the line in the end with the title surprisingly going to the last week. However, on a serious note (so Goat doesn't know for sure that I'm bitter and twisted at his succees last year) - first 11 wise Pompey are the third of the three great Premiership sides that look to be favourites for the title battle next season. With Nilsen probably going to buy another striker we'll have to see where the new campaign leads.

David WIlliams II : Southampton

Williams arrived on the South Coast as Andy Nilsen's new rival and immediately made a name for himself by defeating Portsmouth 3-0 in the FA Cup at Fratton Park - which caused much delight following Andy's previous pronouncement that "the treble" was on the way to Fratton. However that was the high water mark of a disappointing campaign that also saw Rupert Lowe (also known as "******") hand out the P45 and Williams reincarnating himself down at the Saints. With financial restrictions in place, hard to see how Williams will improve things down at St Mary's at the moment but he'll be giving it a good try unless he gets deflected by his ongoing verbal battle with D'Ardenne which one hopes to see continue. The fact that Williams supports Liverpool can in no way be seen as a reason for his poor performance.

Rick Bout II: Tottenham

Well with Rick making like George Best this season - no, not the ball juggling genius ways but the womanising/drinking ways (and yeah I'm jealous) Spurs suffered in his oft absence and haven't delivered on their team potential yet. However I can't comment too much cos they finished above me in 6th place.

Danny King's early favourite for the title last season (so the lesson is to treat Danny's reports with a pinch of salt ) we await to see if Spurs can recover from the loss of Paul Robinson to Chelsea and raise the bar instead of drinking it next season.

Chris Morris II: WBA

With Chris winning the FA Cup back in 2005/06 I waited and waited on the WBA breakthrough into the top half and eventually it arrived in 2008/09 with a 4th placed finish giving WBA a route into the Champions League next season. A few poor buys such as Dagoberto appear to have held WBA back in the past and Morris has been busy snapping up talented youth which he will hope pays dividends in the foreseeable future. A poor cup run and no European football will have helped last season and if Chris qualifies for the Champions League I think he'll do well - but may find the league form slips.

Roll on 2009/10

[keedo666]

Breaking story from the tabloids in France as "Aujourd'hui" sensationally reveals the no holds barred three-somes enjoyed by Liverpool misfit Igor Biscan, Saint' supremo Olaf Williams,and a "mother of many" teenage prostitute from Nigeria.

The more suspicious among you might be tempted to believe that D'Ardenne is responsible for the publication of Mr.Williams sordid private life, but we can confirm that this is in no way true... Mr.D'Ardenne expressing the following opinion

"To be honest it comes as no surprise to me, to see that Olaf is involved in this scandalous affair, to those who know little of him he portrays the image of a quiet, reserved family man, but in reality he is a nymphomaniac, often hyped up on drugs, who has a consuming desire to perform fellatio on as many of the liverpool squad, past and present, as possible...the last time i saw him he was in deep conversation with Graeme Souness"

The paper has worked voraciously to unearth pictures of some of his many lovechildren, who he keeps in poverty in Zambia, only allowed food sparingly during his and life partner Igor Biscan' visits to their infants.

As this sickening revelation unravels Williams stint at saints seems to be doomed as even Rupert Lowe cannot seemingly allow his club to be associated with such scandal... as previous southampton managers have found out.

[keedo666]

problems with pics- to see them see folowing links

http://tinypic.com/view.html?pic=5bya1f

and

http://tinypic.com/view.html?pic=5byae8

[Dunga99]

End of season report..

Chelsea win the Double

To finish the season in 2nd place in the premiership was a great achievement as Chelsea were in 8th place and 20 odd points behind the leaders when I was installed as manager of team affairs. In the end Chelsea had too many games in other competition (for sample playing 3/5/09, 6/5/09, 7/5/09, 9/5/09 and 13/5/09) and far too many points behind Andy Nilsen Portsmouth to have any real chance at winning the league. All congratulations must go Andy and his Portsmouth team for winning the league and doing a top job down at Fratton Park. Winning the FA Cup and UEFA Cup in one season was a big step forward for me and I’m hoping to improve on that next season as will a team like Chelsea if you’re not in the top 3 the supporters and board will be on your back. This is a high pressure job there is no mistaking that, but I’m confident that I will be able to bring the Premiership title back to Stamford Bridge within 2 seasons

Premiership place: 2nd

League Cup: Runners up

FA Cup: Winners

UEFA Cup: Winners

highest fee spend: Cassano 31 million

highest fee received: Tiago 18 million

Manager of the month: 1

Number of players brought: 5

Number of players sold: 5

Total value of players brought: 46 million

Total value of players sold: 65 million

King II overall games

Games played: 114

Games won: 73

Games lost: 27

Games drawn: 14

Goals scored: 234

Goals conceded: 107

Players stats..

Goals

1st. Drogba 28

2nd=. Ballack 12

2nd= Cassano 12

2nd= Gudjohnsen 12

5th. D’Alessandro 11

Average Rating..

1st. Cassano 8.69

2nd. D’Alessandro 7.88

3rd. J Cole 7.64

4th. Carrick 7.62

5th. Cani 7.59

Most App..

1st. Ellegaard 61

2nd. Bridge 42 (4)

3rd. D’Alessandro 40 (1)

4th. Gudjohnsen 39 (5)

5th. Bonera 39 (1)

Most Asts.

1st. D’Alessandro 18

2nd. Cani 13

3rd. Gudjohnsen 11

4th. Drogba 8

5th. Rosicky 7

Man of the match..

1st. D’Alessandro 9

2nd. Cani 6

3rd= Ellegaard 4

3rd= Cassano 4

5th. J Cole 3

Chelsea Team

GK Ellegaard

RB Bonera

LB Bridge

CB Terry ©

CB Gallas

DMC Cigarini

MC Rosicky

MC Cani

AMC D'Alessandro

FC Drogba

FC Cassano

SB1 De Sanctics

SB2 Nesta

SB3 J Cole

SB4 Ballack

SB5 Mutu

Now we are going to take a look and see how my January buys have done since I took over at the club

Luca Cigarini from Birmingham for 2.8 million

I could have done with this guy in the Uefa Cup as I had no other DMC who plays in the team. Played 21 games with an average of 7.29 and he’s still improving so I been pleased with the way my old Birmingham city player settled into the team.Hit

Alessandro Nesta from Milan for 3.6 million

My favorite defender for all time rolled back the years with some fine display for us playing in 13 (2) games with an average of 7.47 and even picking up the man of the match award in the Carling cup final. Hit

Michael Carrick from Newcastle for 3.3 million

Carrick was brought as a backup player due to the amount of games Chelsea was playing and when he got the chance he never let the team down playing in 11 (2) games with an average of 7.62. Hit

Morgan De Sanctics from Newcastle for 5.5 million

He was never really given a chance in the first team due to the form of Ellegaard. Played 5 games with the overall lowest rating in the squad of 6.60 Miss

Antonio Cassano from Manchester United for 31 million

Cassano is a world class forward who shone in the Chelsea team scoring goals from all over the pitch. Again wish he could play in Europe but had been cup tied playing for Manchester Untied. Scored 12 goals in 12 games with an average rating of 8.69 this man is truly a cut above the rest of the team. Major Hit

Again I came second in the manager of the year awards behind the rightful winner Andy so hopefully next year I will be able to finally win it

P.S Top general round up there Niall

[BelfastNiall]

The Everton squad ahead of the new campaign in 2009/10:

GK: Andreas Isaksson

Didn't live up to his previously very high standards after his debut season but retains the Number One position for the season ahead. Still one of the top keepers in the Premiership.

GK: Jan Lastuvka

I've spent £5.75m pounds to secure a top backup goalkeeper this season and have released Kasper Schmeichel to Leo Hardy's Blackburn for £3m. A former Pompey player, Lastuvka has Premiership experience but Murphy is aware the problem will be to keep a player of such repute happy on the bench.

RB: Kasper Bogelund RB: Alan Hutton

Bogelund remains in high demand on the continent and will be the Everton first choice right back once more. With Heitinga possibly available from Madrid, Murphy may rival Nilsen for his signature if the price is right.

Very good cover provided by the Scottish international and despite him not being happy without regular first team football, he should be ok for another season.

LB: Nigel De Jong LB: Gael Clichy

De Jong had an average season last year but Murphy is hoping that the Dutch international's form will be much better this coming season.

Excellent cover here including the left wing position but Clichy has not progressed as much as I would have liked but remians a very good option.

CB: Matel Radoi CB: Joseph Yobo CB: Jean-Alain Boumsong CB: Alex CB: Werner Wolf

Radoi is ready for a full season now after a £10m move. With Yobo, Boumsong and Alex also available to the manager and up and coming German U21 star Wolf having settled in well, I think we're looking nice and solid here on paper.

CM: Kim Kallstom CM: Tomas Sivok CM: Benoit Pedretti CM: Renato CM:Mattieu Flamini

With 5 top midfielders Everton have plenty of depth and skill in the middle of the park for the next season. Ledesma released for £6m.

LM: Martin Petrov [LM: Christian Willhelmsen[/b]

With Petrov being the outstanding player in Europe and the Premiership last season I'm expecting him to continue this form despite the fact he has turned 30. Wilhelmsen was bought from Chelsea for £5.5m to provide back up as Tobias Hysen was released to Middlesbrough for £6m.

RM: Luis Gonzalez Igor Burzanovic

With Burzanovic missing most of last season's campaign and Gonzalez taking time to replace the brilliant Valdo, we suffered here last season often relying on Bogelund or Hutton playing here. Looks good if both remain fit and with Renato and Wilhelmsen also available to this side we have options.

CF: Alberto Gilardino CF: Robert Vittek CF: Berut Semler CF: Emmanuele Calaio

With four strikers we should have enough to rotate around even if we clinch UEFA Cup football in the following weeks. Despite the nonsense you read from other managers, Gilardino IS the best striker in the Premiership, scoring 31 goals last season and having already notched 8 in the Inter Toto this season, including 5 in a 7-0 romp vs Marseilles. Vittek is a man for the big occasion and embarks upon his 3rd season at Goodison. With the Vonlathen deal not working out for both club and player who failed to settle, he was reluctantly offloaded to Fulham for £8.75m. In his place comes Slovakian Semler who cost £14.25m from Bayern Munich, a striker I have been keeping tabs on since I saw him destroy Middlesbrough in the UEFA Cup final two years ago. Calaio, along with Yobo and Sivok are sole survivors from Murphy's first season at Goodison in 2004/05.

So far we have romped through the Inter Toto, which as we were European Cup Semi Finalists only 2 months previously you would expect. Marseille's 7 goal defeat has made me very optimistic about the forthcoming opening Premiership match at Manchester City. Before this we face a two legged tie vs Real Sociedad to ensure entry to the UEFA Cup. Once this is out of the way we can concentrate on getting off to a great start in the Premiership which is something we didn't manage to do last season.

[keedo666]

As the season ended i look back at it as a season that hinged on the result of the FA Cup final, or more exactly getting there as Danny's good league form(cheers ) allowed me to qualify as a losing finalist.. this should bring in some much needed funds for the cofffers, as well as allowing me to have another tilt at the competition. However succes would be an achievement due to the quality of clubs in the tournament..particularly Niall' Everton and Rick' Spurs(of course much dependant on his presence)

Looking back at results- i suffered due to a very difficult run in only taking points from Arsenal, andlosing all three against everton,WBA and chelsea. This was mostly down to the weakness of my squad and the fact i was afraid to rotate too much as the second string team available at the time would have taken several major beatings!

The "Big Match" came around and due to tiredness i had only one striker i was confident could start the final, being Corvia who was still tired from previous games. This led to me to experiment with a new formation with 1 striker and two AMC.. a failure in this instance but not something i shall give up on as i see potential in it, particualarly with the addition of Aimar to my team.

Newcastle 0-3 Chelsea(Wembley)

In short i was under pressure for the entirity of this game, particularly for the first half, and struggled to keep the number of goals conceded down. It soon became a matter of damage limitation as the quality and freshness of chelsea expensively assembled squad of superstars told as one goal became 2- and then 3. When facing a team as skilled as chelsea'(and everton for that matter) it became apparent to me that my Newcastle team was not up to scratch- which led me to decide to completely change my squad for the start of the next season-some 50% turnover, which in itself is quite incredible. Little more to say about the chelsea game except that i spent most of it hiding under the table! .

Thus to that end many players have come and gone and here i hope is a comprehnsive list of the transfers

IN

Enzo Scorza(young uruguyan forward)amazingly made his debut for Danubio at the age of 13..one for the future but could still play a major part in my season

Pablo Aimar(Quality AMC)Welcomed into the fold on a free from Valencia after years in the wilderness, should make an immediate impact, and to be honest bloody better do, as hes on 100k a week!

Dejan Stankovic(Quality AM RLC) Another older player that should inject some immediate quality into my team, welcomed on a free from inter.

Mirko Vucinic(Powerful FC)Welcomed on a free from Lecce, and should have a part to play this season- particularly devestating in the air.

Jeremie Alliadiere(Arsenal reject SC) Good rotation player- i expect him to be a clinical striker and could force his way into first team reckoning.

Jose De La Cuesta(Colombian DLC)Good string rotation player who will provide good competition for my DC's

Billy Jones(DC from Valladolid)Young english lad who will serve as a back up player, useful as he is highly versatile.

Two youngsters from Nantes whose names i can't remember-definately for the future.

Players out

Thomas Buffel-VFB Stuttgart-3.5m(demanded 65k a week)

Joleon Lescott-Southampton-500k

Andy O'Brien-Southampton-500k

Patrick Kluivert-QPR-free

Wesley Sonck-Fulham-100k

Martin Brittain-Charlton-500k

Paul Gallacher-Nottingham Forest-250k

David Prutton-VFB Stuttgart-4m

Stephen Carr-Man City-750k

Daniel Braaten-QPR-500k

Lewis Guy-QPR-500k

Jonathan Greening-Man City-free

Mathew Taylor-Fulham-free

and a few others(insignificant i imagine)

In the coming season ill be looking to have a crack at the cups as well as maybe qualifying for europe courtesy of league position(7th -is the target). I think the first ten games will determine where my season goes as due to the quality of rival human managers,as well as good teams that will be pushing for honours such as Man Utd and Arsenal. To break into this group will take monumental effort from my players as well as tactical ingenuity...but it is possible, just very difficult as illustratred by Niall who with a very strong team finished 7th(so a big ask to break in to the top 7). Oh yes and i look forward to playing Southampton home and away...hopefully to put them to the sword both times

[AsherDSSc]

Top updates lads mine shall be up later if i get a T&T