Fools Go Russian In

[BobBev]

The Sunday Mirror

Sunday December 5th, 2004

Canaries Plucked By Chelsea

A goal down inside the first minute after Chelsea captain John Terry headed home a corner from Ronaldinho, Norwich City dug in and put up a brave fight for the next hour or so. But as the luckless Canaries were disrupted by a succession of injuries, the visitors began to get on top. Substitute Meteja Kezman scored with 20 minutes remaining and Frank Lampard struck twice in the last five minutes, his second coming from the penalty spot. The 4-0 scoreline was scant reward for their efforts and Nigel Worthington’s team stay just

[BobBev]

a couple of places above the relegation slots.

Bugger not being able to edit

[BobBev]

The Guardian

Thursday December 8th, 2004

Chelsea Top Champions League Group

Having already qualified for the knockout stages of the Champions League, Chelsea boss Yuri Djerkinov felt comfortable enough to rest some key players for the trip to Sparta Prague so Vieira, Lampard and Ronaldinho were replaced by Makelele, Tiago and Cole respectively. His side were still good enough to gain the win but their 3-0 scoreline was somewhat flattering. Didier Drogba opened the scoring after quarter of an hour after neat approach play from Damien Duff. The Czechs pushed forward looking to square the game but the Chelsea defence looked impressive and limited their scoring opportunities. With time ticking away the visitors broke forward and midfielder Tiago put the game beyond doubt when he scored his first of the season from the edge of the area. In stoppage time substitute Fabrice Fernandes scored a truly stunning individual effort to put a real gloss on the scoreline. With Celtic losing at home to CSKA Moscow, Chelsea finished as group winners and the Scots took second place.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Pos | Inf| Team | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 1st | Q | Chelsea | 6 | 4 | 1 | 1 | 13 | 6 | +7 | 13 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 2nd | Q | Celtic | 6 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 8 | 6 | +2 | 10 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 3rd | | CSKA Moscow | 6 | 2 | 1 | 3 | 7 | 10 | -3 | 7 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 4th | | Sparta Prague | 6 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 6 | 12 | -6 | 3 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

</pre>

[BobBev]

From the Diary of Yuri Djerkinov

Friday December 9th, 2004

A most satisfactory conclusion to our Champions League group – I had expected us to qualify but winning the group was an added bonus as it will mean that we avoid the other group winners in the knockout stage. My terrible Wodka affliction seems to be a trouble to young Misha – if only he knew that my bottle of Stolichnaya contains nothing more potent than mineral water!

The Observer

Sunday December 12th, 2004

Lampard Leads Blues To The Top

Another stunning display by Chelsea midfielder Frank Lampard propelled his team to the top of the Premiership when he scored both goals in their 2-0 defeat of Blackburn. It was a sorry display from Mark Hughes’ relegation threatened team, who failed to create a single scoring chance over the 90 minutes. Keeper Brad Friedel performed miracles in the first half to keep the game goalless at the break but he was powerless to stop Lampard’s opener just after the restart. It was a trademark strike from the England midfielder as he gathered the ball some 25 yards from goal and unleashed an unstoppable shot into the top corner. His second was a much scrappier affair as he latched on to a loose ball after a frantic goalmouth scramble to fire home. The bad news for Chelsea concerned injuries to Wayne Bridge and Arjen Robben. Bridge suffered bruised ribs but should be fit for their next game but Robben is more of a worry as a groin strain will sideline him for a fortnight.

[BobBev]

The Daily Mail

Saturday December 18th, 2004

Ronny Out For A Month

Chelsea playmaker Ronaldinho is reported to have suffered a torn groin muscle during a training session and is set to miss at least a month whilst the injury heals. This is a blow to the Blues as the Brazilian has been in wonderful form since his arrival at the end of August. They have several options in his absence with perhaps the most likely one being the use of Joe Cole as a direct replacement, although Frank Lampard could also operate in that role. They are perhaps fortunate that they don’t face any of the top teams in the Premiership during the hectic Christmas period but it will still be a challenging time for the club as they try to maintain their title challenge.

[BobBev]

The Sunday Times

Saturday December 19th, 2004

Chelsea Pull Off Great Escape

Despite being outplayed by their hosts for periods of the game, a dogged Chelsea side returned from Portsmouth with a 2-1 win courtesy of a late goal from full back Paulo Ferreira. The home side took the lead on 45 minutes when Steve Stone saw his shot deflect off John Terry and past a stranded Petr Cech. But, with three minutes of stoppage time indicated the visitors struck back almost immediately. Didier Drogba made a determined run into the area and despite the presence of defender Hayden Foxe the big striker was powerful enough to hold off the challenge to finish neatly. There was little to choose between the teams in the second half but with less that three minutes left to play the visitors were awarded a somewhat fortuitous penalty when Mirko Hrgovic was adjudged to have pushed Drogba when the two challenged for a cross. Up stepped Ferreira to sidefoot the ball home to give his team a valuable win to keep them at the top of the table.

[BobBev]

The Times

Wednesday December 23rd, 2004

Chelsea Triumph In London Derby

A scintillating attacking display by Chelsea saw them return from their derby match at Tottenham with an excellent 4-1 win in a very enjoyable encounter. The visitors got off to a wonderful start with Lampard and Geremi both scoring inside the first ten minutes. Spurs were right back in it five minutes later when Timothee Atouba headed home a corner from Simon Davies to score his first goal for the club. But as half time approached Joe Cole restored Chelsea’s two-goal lead after some poor marking left him and Duff totally unmarked. The Tottenham players were furious, claiming that the scorer was offside and replays later showed that they certainly has a case. But there was no arguing with the 4th, scored by Didier Drogba shortly after the restart. Wayne Bridge played a perfectly weighted through ball that dissected the Spurs defence, Drogba controlled with one touch and finished low into the bottom corner.

[BobBev]

The Telegraph

Monday December 27th, 2004

Saints No Match For Chelsea Power

From the moment that Frank Lampard fired Chelsea ahead in the first minute at Stamford Bridge, Southampton had no answers to the passing and running of the Londoners. With Damien Duff missing through suspension, Joe Cole was switched to the left wing but this enforced change did little to affect the home side. Neither did an injury to centre back Ricardo Carvalho after 15 minutes that resulted in William Gallas coming off the bench to replace him. They went further ahead on 35 minutes when Southampton defender Andreas Jakobsson got in the way of a Lampard shot to be credited with an own goal. The scoring was wrapped up in first-half stoppage time when John Terry rose highest to a corner to head home. Former Saint Fabrice Fernandes made a cameo appearance from the bench and was given a hard time by the visiting supporters, but nothing could divert Chelsea from the task at hand and the saw out a comfortable win to gain three more points.

[BobBev]

The Independent

Wednesday December 29th, 2004

Martyn Keeps Chelsea Out

Veteran Everton keeper Nigel Martyn was in outstanding form at Stamford Bridge as time and again he denied the Chelsea attack to enable his team to return home with a 0-0 draw and a useful point. The visitors were pinned back in their own half for much of the game and on their rare forays forward never managed to trouble the Chelsea defence. Didier Drogba was foiled on several occasions by the excellence of the visiting keeper, though had Vieira been more accurate with his shooting the Londoners could well have gained the win that their possession and enterprise merited.

[BobBev]

Decoded Despatch from Agent Sokolov

Thursday December 30th, 2004

I have made a breakthrough in my relationship with Miss Brown and we have moved to a more intimate level. As a result I have been able to discover her password for the accounting system and I hope to use this to allow me to perform some detailed investigation of the club’s finances. Things are progressing very successfully on the pitch and comrade Djerkinov seems to have some genuine talent as a coach. He is still drinking heavily and although his English shows no sign of improving, he has clearly developed a good relationship with many of his players. They are responding well and are having much success in their results. The demands on my time show no sign of decreasing but I am confident that I will be able to uncover some revealing financial information now that I can access the computer system.

[BobBev]

The Independent On Sunday

Sunday January 2nd, 2005

Chelsea Stretch Their Lead

A narrow 2-1 win at Aston Villa gave Chelsea another excellent league win and with nearest rivals Man Utd, Liverpool and Arsenal all being held to draws, the Londoners have now established a nine-point lead at the top of the table. One of the trademarks of Chelsea under their new Russian manager is their resilience and this was demonstrated once more as they scored another late winner. The visitors took the lead after quarter of an hour when Tiago finished off a wonderful passing move with an incisive finish. Villa were under some pressure but they dug in and kept the Chelsea attack at bay for the remainder of the half. Indeed, they got back on terms shortly before the interval with a piledriver from Thomas Hitzlsperger that fairly flew past Cech and into the back of the net. The home side continued to soak up the pressure and rarely had much opportunity to get forward themselves. Hitzlsperger did unleash another howitzer shot but this time it was a little too near the Chelsea keeper and Cech was able to repel his effort. As the game entered the last few minutes it looked like the home side would hold out for the draw but a glorious passing move featuring Veira and Tiago was capped by a clinical finish from Didier Drogba to secure a deserved win.

[BobBev]

The Telegraph

Tuesday January 4th, 2005

Robben Back With A Bang

Arjen Robben celebrated his return to the Chelsea team after injury by scoring the only goal of the game at home to managerless Manchester City. Having parted company with Kevin Keegan just a day earlier, caretaker boss Derek Fazackerley saw his team battle bravely and in the second period they came might close to tying the game. The home side started brightly and David James was called into action several times and made several smart stops. Robben scored what proved to be the only goal of the contest on the half hour with a delightful dink over the advancing keeper after being freed by Joe Cole. Chelsea had the better of the play throughout but in the second half City carved out several presentable chances but they failed to convert any. Substitute Joey Barton was particularly culpable, missing three or four great openings, any one of which could have produced an equaliser.

[BobBev]

The Sunday Mirror

Sunday January 9th, 2005

Ouch, That Hurt!

The David and Goliath FA Cup encounter between Premiership leaders Chelsea and League Two hopefuls Macclesfield ended in an 11-goal rout for the home side. The hapless visitors were torn apart by a rampant Chelsea with captain John Terry scoring his first ever hat trick. Didier Drogba also scored three as the home side performed a cold-blooded demolition job. 4-0 ahead at half time, they showed their ruthless side by refusing to let up, scoring four times in the last 5 minutes of the game. To their credit the visitors kept trying to play football but their adventurous approach contributed to their own downfall as Chelsea scored seemingly at will. Cole, Carvalho, Gudjohnsen, Vieira and Lampard all got on the scoresheet as their dispirited opponents caved in under the pressure.

[\"Joe\"]

Nice to see people still attempting this

You're doing a good job with this both challenge-wise and story-wise, KUTGW. Thanks for putting the challenge description in the first post as well, I was looking for it

[BobBev]

Cheers Joe, glad you are enjoying it

The Sunday Telegraph

Sunday January 16th, 2005

Chelsea March On

Another weekend, another win for the unstoppable Chelsea machine – this one a narrow 1-0 victory at London neighbours Charlton. Yuri Djerkinov’s team have shown that when they fire on all cylinders they can be simply irresistible but yesterday wasn’t one of those occasions. Instead it was the type of performance that teams destined for the league title need to produce – gritty and determined, defensively sound and solid in midfield, the champions in waiting ground out the win. The victory came courtesy of a rare goal from Patrick Vieira, just his 3rd of the season. Defeated only once in the league thus far and having conceded 16 goals in 24 games, Chelsea have survived a demanding Christmas schedule minus the inspiration of Ronaldinho, coming through not just unscathed, but actually increasing their lead over the chasing pack. However they still have some tough games ahead of them and the title is far from decided, but on this form who would bet against the Blues right now.

[BobBev]

The Sunday Times

Sunday January 22nd, 2005

Wing Men Win It For Blues

Chelsea overcame spirited resistance in the FA Cup 4th round tie at Everton to come out 3-1 winners thanks to wingers Damien Duff and Arjen Robben who created all three goals between them. The opener came after 25 minutes when the two combined to free Didier Drogba for his 18th goal of the season. On the stroke of half time Duff made a strong run down the left and his cutback was fired home from the edge of the area to give Patrick Vieira a rare goal. The home side pulled a goal back when Mikel Arteta scored with a stunning 30-yard volley but the tie was secured when substitute Ronaldinho showed sublime skill to waltz through the Everton defence and finish neatly.

The Daily Mirror

Monday January 31st, 2005

Blues Brush Baggies Aside

Chelsea kept up their title challenge with a comfortable 2-0 defeat of relegation-threatened West Brom to stretch their lead at the top of the table. With Robben and Lampard rested they were still too strong for the visitors and first-half goals from Duff and Vieira were enough for a routine win and three more points. Man United are now 13 points behind the Londoners with Arsenal a further point behind although they do have two games in hand.

[BobBev]

Decoded Despatch from Agent Sokolov

Tuesday February 1st, 2005

Now that I have access to the club’s computer systems I have been able to investigate their financial situation in more detail. I have uncovered evidence of a number of offshore accounts that are linked indirectly with the club’s main account but I have not yet been able to establish exactly how these are related. Comrade Djerkinov demands that I am with him virtually every waking moment and it makes it very difficult to maintain my cover as I have to sneak back into the club during the night once he has drunk himself into unconsciousness. I hope that I will soon be able to trace transactions between the various accounts that will give a clearer picture of what Abaramovich is up to.

[BobBev]

The Guardian

Thursday February 3rd, 2005

Chelsea Come Back From The Dead

Two goals down inside half an hour at the Riverside, Chelsea showed just how difficult they are to beat when they somehow escaped back to London with a point. Middlesbrough got off to an excellent start when their exciting young winger Stewart Downing met a cutback from Zenden to finish powerfully after quarter of an hour. Fifteen minutes later the home side doubled their advantage when Hasselbaink combined with strike partner Szilard Nemeth for the Slovakian to fire home his 10th of the season. Pushing hard for a UEFA Cup place, Steve McLaren’s team were well worth their lead and the visitors were finding it difficult to get into the game. But they pulled a goal back before half time when Geremi was first to a Ronaldinho corner to force the ball home. It wasn’t the cleanest of headers – in fact it seemed to come off the Cameroon player’s shoulder more than his head but it sent the Blues into the break in a much healthier position. Middlesbrough continued to control much of the play in the second half and spurned some presentable opportunities to put the game out of reach. They were to pay a heavy price when, seep in stoppage time, Geremi scored his second of the game. Again there was a touch of good fortune as his freekick took a clear deflection off the defensive wall to wrong foot Morgan De Sanctis in the Middlesbrough goal. The chasing pack of Man United, Arsenal and Liverpool all recorded wins to erode the gap at the top slightly but Chelsea will nonetheless be pleased to have rescued a point in a very unconvincing performance.

[BobBev]

The Sunday Times

Sunday February 6th, 2005

Bolton Battered At The Bridge

Another sublime attacking display from Chelsea brushed aside the best efforts of a battling Bolton side as the Blues romped to a 3-0 win to keep their title quest well and truly on course. A trademark strike from 20 yards out by Frank Lampard after just 7 minutes of play got the Blues on their way and with Arjen Robben and Damien Duff both in full flow the visitors were in danger of being overrun. But to their credit they dug in well and Chelsea had to wait until the 38th minute to double their advantage. Patrick Vieira timed his run into the box to perfection and was perfectly placed to profit from Drogba’s flicked header to fire home. The home side could afford to relax a little after the break and whilst still looking dangerous in their forays upfield they did allow the pace of the game to drop. Substitute Ronaldinho wrapped up the scoring a few minutes from the end when his intelligent run was matched by the precision of Duff’s pass, breaking the Bolton offside trap and he finished precisely at the near post.

[BobBev]

The People

Sunday February 13th, 2005

Mags Snatch Late Draw

A dramatic stoppage time equaliser by Jermaine Jenas gave Newcastle a deserved point at home to Chelsea yesterday. The visitors took an early lead when Ronaldinho beat Given with a powerful shot from some 25 yards out. With just two minutes on the clock it looked like Graeme Souness and his team would be in for a long afternoon. But Chelsea failed to capitalise on their splendid start and the Magpies were soon able to take control of the game. Time and again they poured forward but found the Chelsea back line to be an impregnable barrier. Keeper Petr Cech made a string of great saves to keep his tem in front but he was finally beaten when Jenas sent in an unstoppable shot from the edge of the area after some neat interplay with Wesley Sneidjer. The young Dutch midfielder has been in lively form since his arrival from Ajax at the end of last month and the £6.23M fee looks like it could be money well spent.

[OMDave]

A very entertaining read, BobBev. Best of luck with the challenge and the story

[BobBev]

Cheers Dave

The Daily Mail

Thursday February 17th, 2005

Blues Out-Shoot Gunners

After Arsene Wenger’s uncharacteristic outburst a couple of days ago where he publicly doubted Chelsea’s title credentials Yuri Dejrkinov’s players responded in the best possible way by coming back from Highbury with a fine win. The visitors outplayed their hosts for much of the game and whilst the 3-1 scoreline may have been slightly flattering, no one could argue that they fully deserved their win. Patrick Vieira, making his first return to Highbury since his move at the start of the season, was given a raucous welcome and the game was played in a typically intimidating atmosphere as the home supporters got fully behind their team. First blood went to Chelsea after quarter of an hour when Robben broke forward and freed Drogba who finished low down at Lehmann’s near post. The keeper may well feel that he should not have been beaten in that manner and it certainly seemed that some of his teammates held the same opinion. But ten minutes later the game was squared in a move started and ended by Thierry Henry. Picking up the ball deep in his own half, the Frenchman instigated a lightning-fast passing move that ended with his dinked finish as Cech came out to meet him in the area. The game was won in a devastating two-minute spell either side of the hour mark when Chelsea scored twice to seal the win. The first came from young centre back Robert Huth, replacing the injured John Terry, and the giant German will not score a finer goal in his career. The Arsenal defence were slow to react when Ronaldinho played a corner low to the near post and received the ball back from Huth. Seemingly expecting a cross, the home side left the centre back unmarked and when Ronny passed the ball back to him he had time and space to spare. Even so, his finish was worthy of a top-class striker as he despatched the sweetest of right-foot shots across Lehmann and into the top corner. Still reeling from this blow, Arsenal were caught on the break by Ronaldinho as the Brazilian picked out the run of Robben with an exquisite pass and the winger finished with aplomb, taking the ball round Lehamnn and sliding it into the empty net. As sweet as this victory undoubtedly was for the visitors it was not gained without cost. Vieira was forced to hobble off after a clash with Mauro Esposito and Paolo Ferreira ended the game in some discomfort. But worst of all was a serious injury to Wayne Bridge after a crunching tackle left the full back spread-eagled on the ground. Esposito was the culprit again and only referee Chris Foy will know why the Italian midfielder remained on the pitch. Bridge has suffered back damage and is expected to miss the rest of the season.

[BobBev]

The Independent On Sunday

Sunday February 20th, 2005

No FA Cup Joy For Chelsea

Having departed the League Cup at the hands of Tottenham in the 4th round, Chelsea also made a relatively early exit from the FA Cup, a second-string side falling to a 3-0 defeat at Blackburn in the 5th round. With sweeping changes made to the starting eleven it seemed obvious that Chelsea boss Yuri Djerkinov was more concerned with his team’s forthcoming Champions League trip to Panathinaikos and their performance reflected this. Gary Flitcroft and Paul Gallagher fired the home side into a 2-0 half time lead and a Tugay penalty on 65 minutes completed a comprehensive win for a beleaguered Blackburn side. Sitting just a point outside the relegation places a cup run may be just the boost that Mark Hughes and his players need to restore their fragile confidence.

[BobBev]

The Times

Thursday February 24th, 2005

Champions League Roundup

Last night’s 1st leg encounters in the Champions League first knockout stage produced some intriguing match-ups and top of the list was the all-English clash between bitter rivals Arsenal and Manchester United at Highbury. The game ended 3-1 in favour of the home side and they will travel to Old Trafford in a fortnight as clear favourites. The game was as intense and competitive as one would expect and United got off to a wonderful start when David Pizarro fired them ahead after quarter of an hour. But Arsenal responded with vigour and scored twice in two minutes just before the break. Thierry Henry was the architect for both goals with Reyes and Gilberto the beneficiaries. A frantic second half saw United come close to equalising several times but with five minutes remaining substitute Robin van Persie gave the Gunners a huge advantage with their 3rd goal, Henry once again setting things up.

Chelsea travelled to Athens to face a tough game against Panathinaikos without the talismanic Frank Lampard, the midfielder suffering a training ground injury earlier in the week. But with Damien Duff a constant tormentor they still carved out a series of chances and may rue the fact that only one was tucked away, Arjen Robben firing home in the midst of a goalmouth scramble following a corner. Celtic came back from a difficult game at Roma with a 2-1 defeat but a late strike by John Hartson gives them hope for the return leg. Lyon are in the driving seat in their tie after an excellent 3-0 win at home to Deportivo, the Spaniards finishing the game with ten men after left back Romero was dismissed. Inter looked very dangerous in their 3-1 win at Barcelona and will be confident of seeing off the Spanish giants in the San Siro. Porto secured a good 2-1 win at Leverkusen, coming back from a goal down to score twice after the interval. Milan and Juventus were locked at 1-1 but Juve will be slight favourites in the return in Turin. Finally FC Bayern had a narrow 1-0 win at Valencia to put them in a strong position for the second leg in Munich.

[BobBev]

The Times

Monday February 28th, 2005

City Lift League Cup

Manchester City stunned favourites Arsenal by recovering from a one-goal deficit to lift the League Cup at the Millennium Stadium yesterday. The Gunners had rested several key players and this was undoubtedly a factor in their defeat. They took the lead just before the half hour though man of the match Francesc Fabregas, the 17-year-old Spaniard becoming one of the youngest players ever to score in a major final. But driven on by the dynamic wing play of Shaun Wright-Philips, City found an equaliser through Steve McManaman on 38 minutes when the speedy youngster picked him out. With the clock ticking down the game looked to be heading to extra time when Antoine Sibierski whipped in a cross and Claudio Reyna headed powerfully home.

[BobBev]

Decoded Despatch from Agent Sokolov

Wednesday March 2nd, 2005

I have continued to investigate the financial situation here at Chelsea and much to my surprise I have so far failed to find any suspicious transactions. All of the money going out of the club seems to be legitimate and is consistent with covering the running costs of the football team. Despite the continuing success on the pitch, the club continues to operate at a loss and by my latest estimate the bank balance has now dropped to below £60M. I will continue with this line of investigation however, as there must be some clue to be found if Abramovich is not above board.

[BobBev]

The Times

Thursday March 10th, 2005

Champions League Roundup

Keeper Jens Lehmann was the hero for Arsenal as he pulled off a string of brilliant saves to keep a rampant Manchester United at bay as they sought to overcome their first-leg deficit. He was finally beaten shortly before the interval when Wayne Rooney opened the scoring but an equaliser by Mathieu Flamini put the Gunners firmly in the driving seat. The 1-1 draw gave Arsenal a 4-2 aggregate win but until they scored their away goal the tie remained very finely balanced. Chelsea recovered from an early fright when they went a goal down at home to Panathinaikos as they responded magnificently to score four unanswered goals in a 20-minute spell before half time. Ronaldinho and Drogba helped themselves to two goals each as some dynamic attacking play ripped the Greek defence to shreds. They could afford to play out a much quieter second half and still finish comfortable 5-1 winners on aggregate. Celtic suffered a devastating 3-0 defeat at home to Roma as the Italians comfortably neutralised their best attacking efforts and repeatedly caught the home side on the break. Despite a 3-1 defeat in Spain, Lyon eliminated Deportivo 4-3 on aggregate and FC Bayern also beat Spanish opposition, a 1-0 win at home to Valencia giving the Germans a 2-0 overall win. A 2-2 draw at Inter was not enough for Barcelona after their first leg defeat and their elimination leaves the Quarter Finals without a Spanish representative. Milan had an excellent 3-1 win at Juventus to progress 4-2 and Porto went through on the away goals rule after a narrow 1-0 defeat at home to Leverkusen.

[BobBev]

The Telegraph

Thursday March 17th, 2005

Djerkinov – “The Title Is Oursâ€

Yuri Djerkinov, the normally lugubrious Chelsea manager, was positively gushing in his post match interview at Stamford Bridge last night, at least by his own standards. Having watched his team triumph 3-0 over great rivals Arsenal, he waxed lyrical for the best part of 30 seconds before beating a retreat – or at least his translator did. Now holding a 15-point lead over his nearest rivals his view was emphatic – his team will be Premiership champions this season. And given their performance he has every right to be optimistic. The hugely impressive Ronaldinho scored twice in the first half to boost his reputation still further. Top scorer Didier Drogba added the 3rd within minutes of the restart and the Chelsea defence did the rest. Centre backs Ricardo Carvalho and John Terry were immovable objects for much of the game and keeper Petr Cech was in unbeatable form on the few occasions that the rearguard was breached. Requiring three more wins from their remaining 8 games it will take a collapse of mammoth proportions to prove the enigmatic Russian wrong and on current form that looks to be highly unlikely.

[BobBev]

The Daily Express

Monday March 21st, 2005

A Game Of Two Halves At The Cottage

Chelsea went into the half time interval in their game against Fulham at Craven Cottage two goals down and looking like a beaten team. Heaven knows what manager Yuri Djerkinov said to his players over their cup of tea but they came back out a changed side and scored two goals of their own to salvage an unlikely point. The home side had most of the play in the opening 45 minutes and took the lead after half an hour through a towering header from Papa Bouba Diop. They doubled their advantage shortly afterwards when Andrew Cole converted from the penalty spot after Ricardo Carvalho was penalised for an illegal challenge. The Chelsea fightback was started on the hour mark when Didier Drogba headed home a superb cross from Arjen Robben. It was completed ten minutes from time when Carvalho atoned for his earlier mistake by getting his head to a Ronaldinho cross. Only a quite brilliant stop by keeper Edwin van der Sar denied Ronaldinho a late winner that would have been harsh on the home side as Chelsea finished with a flurry of attacks.

[BobBev]

Decoded Despatch from Agent Sokolov

Sunday April 2nd, 2005

I believe that I have made a breakthrough at last. Having reported last month that I had seen nothing suspicious in the outgoing financial transactions, it occurred to me that I had perhaps not been looking in the right place and so I started to examine incoming transactions. Most of them looked perfectly reasonable – gate receipts, TV revenue and so on. But I have found several that date back to the summer of last year, before we even arrived at the club, that look very suspicious. In total I can see the best part of £180M coming into the club from overseas accounts with the three main sources being Russian banks – the Bank of Khanty-Mansiysk, Promsvyazbank and Bank Soyuz. I would recommend that we make some discreet enquiries regarding the provenance of those financial institutions.

[BobBev]

The People

Sunday April 3rd, 2005

Palace Take The Drop

A 2-0 defeat for Crystal Palace at Blackburn means that Iain Dowie’s team are the first to be relegated from the Premiership this season. Bottom of the table for virtually the entire season, this has come as no surprise and with just one league win to their name they look set to record the lowest points total in the history of the EPL.

The Guardian

Monday April 4th, 2005

Chelsea Close In On Title

A 1-0 win at home to Liverpool moved Chelsea one step closer to a seemingly inevitable Premiership title. Captain John Terry scored the only goal of the game on 17 minutes when he rose highest to head home a Robben corner. Pinned back in their own half for much of the game the visitors rarely threatened, their cause not helped by injuries to John Arne Riise and Sami Hyypia. With one eye on their forthcoming Champions League Quarter Final against Inter, the Blues were able to rest several players and yet still get a winning result.

[BobBev]

The Times

Thursday April 7th, 2005

Champions League Roundup

The two English clubs still left in the competition were both drawn against Italian opposition as Chelsea faced Inter and Arsenal travelled to Milan. The Gunners were seriously out of sorts and collapsed to a 4-0 defeat, conceding twice in each half, and barring a miracle their Champions League campaign is over for another season. Chelsea had a better evening and will defend a 2-1 lead at the San Siro. Didier Drogba got them off to a fabulous start when he converted a Damien Duff cross after just ten minutes. They enjoyed the better of the play for the remainder of the half and were unfortunate not to add to their tally before the break. Inter are not a team to be written off easily however and they came back to equalise in the 65th minute, Obafemi Martins rounding off a flowing passing move with a neat finish. Having been denied several times by the brilliant Francesco Toldo, Chelsea finally got the goal they deserved, and what a goal it was. Ronaldinho’s stunning solo effort took him half the length of the pitch before he struck an unstoppable shot past the Italian keeper. Porto pulled off a surprise 2-1 win at FC Bayern to put themselves in a strong position for the second leg. Diego scored twice inside 25 minutes before Michael Ballack reduced the deficit just before half time. Roma completed an impressive 3-0 win at home to Lyon with Francesco Totti on target twice and they look like firm favourites to make the Semi Finals.

[BobBev]

The Independent On Sunday

Sunday April 10th, 2005

Chelsea Take The Title

Chelsea made the trip to Birmingham knowing that the Premiership title was in their grasp and that three points would give them their first top-flight league title for almost 50 years. With many key players being rested for the rigours of the Champions League it was an unfamiliar starting eleven but it still took some fine stops from home keeper Maik Taylor to keep the scoresheet blank. As things turned out the 0-0 draw was still enough to guarantee the championship as nearest rivals Man United also drew a blank at home to Tottenham. Despite the anti-climactic nature of their triumph, it has still been a magnificent achievement for the Londoners, especially considering the appointment of an unknown Russian manager back in the summer. The wisdom of that decision was questioned at length in the media but Roman Abramovich and Yuri Djerkinov have proved all of the doubters wrong.

[BobBev]

The Telegraph

Thursday April 14th, 2005

Chelsea Edge It In San Siro Thriller

Chelsea travelled to Milan for the second leg of their Champions League Quarter Final with a one-goal advantage but with Damien Duff, Frank Lampard and Joe Cole all unavailable through injury. With the home side having scored a crucial away goal at Stamford Bridge, the Londoners knew that they would be up against it in Italy. However, no one could have expected a match of such tension and high-drama and it was truly a thrilling encounter that swung one way and then the other before being decided by the slimmest of margins. As the match unfolded, both sides became increasingly adventurous, throwing caution to the winds in a breathless display of attacking football.

10th minute – centre back Marco Materazzi finds the ball at his feet after a corner is only partially cleared. His shot takes a wicked deflection off Paulo Ferreira – 1-0 (Inter lead on away goals)

17th minute – Fabrice Fernandes finishes off a Chelsea breakaway after Vieira sets him free in the area – 1-1 (Chelsea lead 3-2 on aggregate)

25th minute – Vieira turns scorer as he heads home a Ronaldinho corner – 1-2 (Chelsea lead 4-2 on aggregate)

39th minute – Arjen Robben breaks the Inter offside trap and calmly takes the ball around Toldo before stroking it into an empty net – 1-3 (Chelsea lead 5-2 on aggregate)

44th minute – Dejan Stankovic pulls a goal back for Inter with a 30-yard thunderbolt – 2-3 (Chelsea lead 5-3 on aggregate)

55th minute – Stankovic scores his second as the home side carve an opening with some intricate passing – 3-3 (Chelsea lead 5-4 on aggregate)

71st minute – by now the Chelsea goal is under siege and Alvaro Recoba puts Inter in front when he heads home a cross from captain Javier Zanetti – 4-3 (Chelsea lead on away goals)

74th minute – the stadium erupts as Belozoglu Emre scores a fine solo goal to put his team ahead in the tie – 5-3 (Inter lead 6-5 on aggregate)

85th minute – Didier Drogba catches Inter on the break and slides the ball past a despairing Toldo – 5-4 (Chelsea lead on away goals)

94th minute – after a seemingly interminable period of stoppage time the final whistle sounds. Both teams have given their all but somehow Chelsea have managed to recover from conceding four goals and losing what looked like an impregnable advantage to keep their Champions League hopes alive.

And so one of the most extraordinary games in Champions League history ends with an aggregate score of 6-6 and with Chelsea progressing by the slimmest of margins.

[BobBev]

From the Diary of Yuri Djerkinov

Thursday April 14th, 2005

Words cannot express just how proud I am of my players. Having been pegged back from a winning position they showed remarkable resilience and self-belief to recover and score the vital final goal. It is such a privilege for me to be working with such fine players, even though my arrival was clearly engineered for another purpose. I am increasingly concerned for my young friend Misha. His nocturnal activities continue and, apart from the fact that he is not getting enough sleep, I am worried that he is endangering himself in some way. I do not know Comrade Abramovich well but I know enough to feel that he is not a man to be taken lightly and all is not as it seems at Chelsea Football Club.

[BobBev]

Decoded Despatch to Agent Sokolov From Moscow

Friday April 15th, 2005

Agent Solokov, you have unearthed some very valuable information with regard to the incoming financial transactions and we may be close to a breakthrough. Of the banks that you mention, two of them have already been suspended from trading by the Russian Banking Confederation for money laundering and the third is now under investigation. In addition, Vlaidmir Smirnoff is a known associate of several of the former officials of the suspended banks and he has now been put on our “most wanted†list. However, his whereabouts is currently unknown and he has not been apprehended at this time. Please take every precaution in any further investigations.

[axeman]

Brilliant story.

I may not be very sympathetic towards Chelski in general, but this story is very entertaining, especially the bits with the endless conspiracies and womanising

KUTGW

[BobBev]

Thanks axeman

The Daily Mail

Monday April 18th, 2005

Late Penalty Saves Blues

With the league title already assured, Chelsea boss Yuri Djerkinov took the decision to rest his Champions League heroes for the league match at home to Manchester United and fielded a second-choice eleven. Ruud van Nistelrooy gave the visitors an early lead and with the home side struggling to play with any fluency, that looked like being enough to get the win. But several late substitutions re-energised the Blues and with less than a minute of normal time remaining, Carlton Cole was sent tumbling in the area by Wes Brown. Alexei Smertin took responsibility for the kick and he slammed the ball home to square the game.

[BobBev]

The Daily Express

Thursday April 21st, 2005

Canaries Not Singing Anymore

A 3-2 defeat at Portsmouth saw Norwich become the second side to have their relegation from the Premiership confirmed. Pompey raced into a three-goal lead by half time with Gary O’Neil scoring twice either side of a Yakubu penalty. The Canaries mounted a brave fightback after the break with goals from Leon McKenzie and Ian Henderson but they were unable to get the win that they required to keep their slim hopes alive. With two of last season’s promoted teams already doomed, West Brom’s battling 2-1 win at home to Newcastle at the weekend gave them hope of bucking that trend as it moved them to within one point of Man City in 17th place.

[Spav]

BobBev \o/ Champion of the one paragraph updating style.

[BobBev]

Spav - it's the only way I know how to write these days

The People

Sunday April 24th, 2005

Luckless Palace Lose Again

Poor Crystal Palace suffered their 23rd defeat of a miserable season when substitutes Damien Duff and Didier Drogba combined to produce a stoppage-time winner for visiting Chelsea. Eidur Gudjohnsen had given the Blues the lead five minutes before half time but the home side had rallied and Andy Johnston scored a fine equaliser with 20 minutes remaining. Chelsea had once again rested most of their top performers in anticipation of their Champions League Semi Final against Roma but for the second game in succession three late substitutions changed the course of the match.

[BobBev]

The Guardian

Thursday April 28th, 2005

Late Goals Give Chelsea The Edge

Two goals in a three-minute spell near the end of the game transformed the first leg of Chelsea’s Champions League Semi Final against Roma. As the match entered the last ten minutes the teams were tied at 1-1 but when the final whistle sounded the home side had established a 3-1 lead for the return. Restored to the team after a 6-match injury layoff, Frank Lampard got the Blues off to a splendid start with a trademark strike from distance after ten minutes. The home side pressed forward, looking to extend their advantage but were caught out on 25 minutes when Roma found an equaliser through Vincenzo Montella. There was little to separate the teams for the remainder of the game until Ronaldinho freed Drogba to put Chelsea ahead on 77 minutes. Three minutes later the Brazilian playmaker scored the goal of the game, a 30-yard free kick curled around the wall and into the top corner with breathtaking power and precision. In the other Semi Final, Milan won their home leg against Porto 2-0 with Kaka and Shevchenko scoring the goals.

[BobBev]

The Sunday Telegraph

Sunday May 1st, 2005

Record Season In Sight For Chelsea

With just two Premiership matches still to be played Chelsea stand on the brink of history as they seek to complete their league programme with just a single defeat. A 2-1 defeat of relegated Norwich moved them one step closer to that record, even though most of their key players were rested in preparation for their forthcoming Champions League tie in Rome. After a goalless first half Mateja Kezman broke the deadlock on 50 minutes after being selflessly set up by Joe Cole. The visitors fashioned an equaliser less than ten minutes later when Darren Huckerby broke forward to pick out Mattias Jonson and the Swede swept the ball home. Parity lasted for just over five minutes before Chelsea scored the match winner, Craig Fleming credited with an own goal after a Joe Cole shot deflected off the central defender.

[BobBev]

Decoded Despatch from Agent Sokolov

Monday May 2nd, 2005

Another breakthrough! When searching through the email archives in the club’s mail server I found a series of notes from Abramovich to an anonymous recipient and I now understand what his plan is. He has used “dirty money†from the Russian banks to buy his new players at the start of the season. He now intends to sell most of his key players to generate “clean money†which he will then move to a network of offshore accounts and replenish the club account with more dirty money from Russia and start the cycle again. Simple but brilliant. He doesn’t even need to turn a profit on the players – if he just recovers his original investment then he has still laundered tens of millions of pounds. I have encrypted copies of the emails and these will be sent in a flash transmission later today. See if our computer boffins can track down the recipient although he seems to be using an anonymous server so that could be difficult.

[Spav]

Classy work, Bob.

[BobBev]

Cheers Spav

The Independent

Thursday May 5th, 2005

Chelsea Stroll Into Champions League Final

Defending a 3-1 lead from the first leg, Chelsea managed to avoid the drama of their last match in Italy by replicating the same scoreline in Rome to eliminate Roma 6-2 on aggregate. They controlled long periods of play, rarely allowing the home side to mount any serious attacks. Frank Lampard gave then the lead from the penalty spot after 24 minutes following a trip on Drogba by Roma centre back Traianos Dellas. The Greek international was given a torrid time all evening and was withdrawn after 60 minutes to be replaced by the Argentinean Leandro Cufre. Ronaldinho doubled Chelsea’s lead on the half hour and was unlucky to be denied a second a few minutes later because of a tight offside decision. Roma won a penalty of their own before the break, which Simone Perrotta converted, but the home side never looked like overturning Chelsea’s commanding lead. In the other Semi an Andriy Shevchenko goal early in the second half gave Milan a 1-0 victory in Porto and Chelsea will now face Italian opposition for the third successive round in the final at the end of the month.

[BobBev]

The Sunday Times

Sunday May 8th, 2005

Kezman Double Sinks Blackburn

Blackburn faced visiting Chelsea needing at least a point to guarantee their Premiership survival and they battled hard in the first 45 minutes to ensure that the game remained scoreless at the break. Eidur Gudjohnsen failed to reappear at the start of the second half having apparently suffered a minor injury and he was replaced by Mateja Kezman. It proved to be an inspired substitution, even if it was an enforced change, as the Serbian struck twice to give his side a good 2-0 win. His first goal came as the result of some selfless play by Joe Cole who spurned a possible scoring opportunity of his own to present the striker with a tap-in. The second came at the death when the home side were chasing the game. An attack broke down, Chelsea were quick to break forward and this time substitute Tiago was the provider. The win means that the Blues are now within one game of completing their league campaign with just a single defeat, a fantastic achievement for new manager Yuri Djerkinov.

[BobBev]

The Sunday Telegraph

Sunday May 15th, 2005

Pompey No Barrier To Historic Blues

Chelsea signed off a triumphant Premier League campaign with a comfortable 2-1 win at home to an ineffectual Portsmouth side. The visitors failed to mount a single meaningful attack during the 90 minutes and Petr Cech wasn’t called upon to make a save. Frank Lampard underlined his case for player of the season when he opened the scoring midway through the first half. As he has done all season he timed his run into the area to perfection to fire home an unstoppable shot. Ten minutes into the second half Didier Drogba claimed his 28th goal of the season when he headed home a cross from Joe Cole to make the game safe. The home side could easily have doubled their goal tally, having hit the woodwork twice in the first half but the final result was never in doubt. The final relegation place was also decided yesterday with West Brom’s 1-0 win at home to Birmingham rendered irrelevant when Man City triumphed 3-0 at home to relegated Crystal Palace to escape the drop on goal difference.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Pos | Inf | Team | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 1st | C | Chelsea | 38 | 26 | 11 | 1 | 74 | 25 | +49 | 89 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 2nd | | Man Utd | 38 | 19 | 12 | 7 | 65 | 33 | +32 | 69 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 3rd | | Tottenham | 38 | 20 | 9 | 9 | 72 | 52 | +20 | 69 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 4th | | Arsenal | 38 | 19 | 10 | 9 | 77 | 39 | +38 | 67 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 5th | | Liverpool | 38 | 17 | 15 | 6 | 51 | 28 | +23 | 66 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 6th | | Newcastle | 38 | 18 | 9 | 11 | 61 | 35 | +26 | 63 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 7th | | Everton | 38 | 17 | 10 | 11 | 48 | 37 | +11 | 61 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 8th | | Southampton | 38 | 15 | 10 | 13 | 56 | 59 | -3 | 55 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 9th | | Portsmouth | 38 | 13 | 15 | 10 | 40 | 38 | +2 | 54 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 10th| | Fulham | 38 | 13 | 13 | 12 | 52 | 44 | +8 | 52 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 11th| | Aston Villa | 38 | 13 | 12 | 13 | 53 | 55 | -2 | 51 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 12th| | Middlesbrough | 38 | 14 | 9 | 15 | 53 | 61 | -8 | 51 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 13th| | Bolton | 38 | 10 | 16 | 12 | 47 | 53 | -6 | 46 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 14th| | Birmingham | 38 | 10 | 15 | 13 | 42 | 44 | -2 | 45 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 15th| | Blackburn | 38 | 12 | 5 | 21 | 39 | 67 | -28 | 41 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 16th| | Charlton | 38 | 10 | 9 | 19 | 35 | 52 | -17 | 39 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 17th| | Man City | 38 | 9 | 10 | 19 | 42 | 65 | -23 | 37 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 18th| R | West Brom | 38 | 9 | 10 | 19 | 35 | 64 | -29 | 37 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 19th| R | Norwich | 38 | 4 | 11 | 23 | 26 | 60 | -34 | 23 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 20th| R | Crystal Palace | 38 | 1 | 11 | 26 | 27 | 84 | -57 | 14 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

</pre>

[BobBev]

The Guardian

Tuesday May 17th, 2005

End Of Season Awards Announced

The annual end of season awards jamboree took place last night and there were some distinguished winners with Premiership champions Chelsea featuring prominently. There was some surprise when Damien Duff was announced as the Players’ Player of the Year as many had expected teammate Frank Lampard to take that particular award.

Players’ Player of the Year

1st – Damien Duff, Chelsea

2nd – Thierry Henry, Arsenal

3rd – Frank Lampard, Chelsea

Players’ Young Player of the Year

1st – Jose Antonio Reyes, Arsenal

2nd – Cristiano Ronaldo, Manchester United

3rd – Darren Carter, Birmingham City

Premier Division Manager of the Year

1st – Yuri Djerkinov, Chelsea

2nd – Arsene Wenger, Arsenal

3rd – Martin Jol, Tottenham Hotspur

Premier Division Top Goalscorer

1st – Thierry Henry, Arsenal (31)

2nd – Jermain Defoe, Tottenham Hotspur (24)

3rd – Ruud van Nistelrooy, Manchester United (20)

Premier Division Select

Jamie Ashdown, Portsmouth

Stephen Carr, Newcastle

Mikael Silvestre, Manchester United

Andy O’Brien, Newcastle United

Rio Ferdinand, Manchester United

Robert Pires, Arsenal

Damien Duff, Chelsea

Frank Lampard, Chelsea

Ronaldinho, Chelsea

Thierry Henry, Arsenal

Didier Drogba, Chelsea

Dean Kiely, Charlton

Sol Campbell, Arsenal

Patrick Vieira, Chelsea

Tim Cahill, Everton

Mauro Esposito, Arsenal

[BobBev]

The Daily Mail

Thursday May 19th, 2005

Turkish Delight In UEFA Cup

Five years after compatriots Galatasaray became the first Turkish side ever to lift a European trophy, Besiktas repeated that feat with a 2-1 extra-time victory over Feyenoord. It was an open and entertaining game with both sides looking to attack whenever possible. The Turks got off to a great start when Norwegian striker John Carew put them ahead after just eight minutes. But the Dutch side got back into the game quickly when Patrick Paawue scored a brilliant 25-yard free kick after 15 minutes. There was no further scoring in the regulation 90 minutes and so extra time was called for. The stalemate continued and with penalties just seconds away veteran midfielder Havutcu Tayfur sealed the win with an unstoppable 25-yarder that fair flew into the top corner.