Moaners v Fanboys...my 10 pence...

[brightonrock]

Ok so I've had the game since launch day and although I like it and I'm cracking on through the seasons with a peculiar blend of pent-up frustration, furious anger, joyful delirium and utter disbelief (both positive and negative), there are some general things that a lot of people are complaining about, and I thought I'd give my ten pence on them. The complaints are in varying degrees of hysteria, and I've experienced some, if not all of the problems, and I'm torn between joining forces with the 'moaners' demanding answers for the problems, or the 'fanboys' denying anything is wrong and SI employees are welcome to a go on their daughter any day. That said, I think the following could be addressed in the second patch, to make a currently very good game (shhhh moaners, it is good) even better (shhhh fanboys, it can be improved):

• Despite the transfer code being re-written (and by and large, it definately is infinitely better than previous versions), the developers got a bit dizzy on helium and blue smarties when it came to coding Man City, injected them with money and then forgot to inform the poor little Manc data accountant not to spend a quarter of a billion pounds a season, exclusively on breathtakingly average attacking midfielders.
• 90% of transfer bids 'become public knowledge'; one can only assume a footballing agent is, contrary to popular belief, not well paid, and most agents moonlight for The Mirror.
• All 22 on-pitch players appear to be trying the SoccerAM crossbar challenge with insatiable enthusiasm by shooting from a quarter of a mile away.
• Speaking of, the frame of the goal seems to have some kind of magnet in it.
• Keepers' agricultural 'through balls' cause Titus Bramble-esque qualities in the defence who stop and cry whilst the oppo striker walks it in.
• 9 times out of 10 full backs are beaten like S&M fetishists by wingers with laughable dribbling stats such as 4.
• Your assistant manager grew up next to a farm with three fields and an electric fence, and was presumably subject to a violent mugging or sexual crime between the fence and the middle field, thus explaining his obsession with playing a holding midfielder.
• Players regularly partake in impromptu mini-games amongst themselves, such as the schoolyard classic 'Arse' wherby they line up and leather it at each other from 5 yards away for no discernible reason.
• As we all know, Arsenal have won every trophy in every major tournament in every sport in the world, for the last 40 years, and this is reflected in their trophy cabinet after 2 years in-game.
• Strikers who don't score a hat-trick get rated as 5.6.
• Strikers in fact are incapable of the proverbial in a brothel, let alone, god forbid, kicking the round thing through the big rectangle.
• England win all penalty shootouts. There's no need for a humourous comment here.
• Serious injuries (ruptured colon, severed head, shattered pelvis etc) happen regularly; in many games all 3 subs are made by the 70-minute mark as your assistant manager makes hurried plans to visit your star striker's next of kin.
• In fact, most pre-season run-ins are more emotionally expensive than the break-up of a long term relationship, as your team suffers greater losses than the Russian Army, circa 1939-45.
• Playing 4411 is so experimental and philosophically world-changing that the fabric of reality is broken and 13 bearded, be-robed players take to the pitch for a feast of hobbit's bread and virgin's tears whilst daubing themselves with goats blood under two glowing red suns.

All in all they're minor improvements I think, fairly easily tweaked. Chin up boys and girls whilst the developers sortitoutsi, and in the meantime we can all sleep soundly in the knowledge that its probably your tactics, but more importantly its definately only a game.

[DJ]

*applause*

Great piece

[digsy11]

You should post more often!

[Sloppy Giuseppe]

Brilliant!

[Ihsaan]

That's about right .

[masteratt]

Great stuff mate, hahaha, enjoyed it.

[brendanbrendanbren]

10 pence? That was more like a pounds worth. Funny and class.

[Bongo-Bongo]

[*]Players regularly partake in impromptu mini-games amongst themselves, such as the schoolyard classic 'Arse' wherby they line up and leather it at each other from 5 yards away for no discernible reason.

Strikers in fact are incapable of the proverbial in a brothel, let alone, god forbid, kicking the round thing through the big rectangle.

My personal favourites

[dazbowski]

seriously funny,but all too true! great work! do you have a book coming out soon?

[grade]

Great review, mate. I liked your clever use of irony.

[Saintjonny]

I really really really hate that word 'fanboy'

[bieritarier]

lmao damn I'm not gonna get rid of a big grin in the face for quite a while now I guess. I really enjoy that kind of sarcasm

[mr_pimpnuts]

Excellent post!

[davestu]

*stands and starts slow hand clap*

[Law_Man]

One of the funnier posts I've read on the forums - had quite a chuckle there. Good to know someone on here knows how to make serious points in a light hearted way. Or how to say intelligent things in stupid way.... or how to saying stupid things in an intelligent way....

Good post.

[small Mac]

Well played brightonrock, excellent read. Unfortunately though i think it's too well written for people to argue against your points!

[Slagdog]

Top post mate, a future in the media maybe. Its a bit of light relief from the two of points of view. I two find myself in a strange position too, desperately wanting to hate it for all its bugs (there seems to be far more than any previous version) however it is also the most addictive version for ages (even though im playing rubbish) just can't working it out, it must be the 3d pitch?

[Niall_The_Miller]

Very funny. The tw which Bongo Bongo quoted made me laugh out loud (which isn't good considering it's half 11 and everyone else in the place is fast asleep!)

Top, top post.

[Orion Dean]

We have a winner!

[Blue Nose Bear]

'fanboys' denying anything is wrong and SI employees are welcome to a go on their daughter any day.

That made me laugh, so true

[steve dewilde]

haha good laugh, nice post

[Les Girondins]

In fact, most pre-season run-ins are more emotionally expensive than the break-up of a long term relationship, as your team suffers greater losses than the Russian Army, circa 1939-45.

fall off me chair!

[dankrzyz]

*stands and starts slow hand clap*

*joins davestu*

[mi6grenada]

hi 5 my boy/girl

[Jay_Awes]

Great post and i agree with every point you make highlighting some truly awful bugs but like you I find myself far more addicted to this than I have any FM since the split.

[Sweet-Zombie-Jesus]

Brilliant post

[Mike7077]

'fanboys' denying anything is wrong and SI employees are welcome to a go on their daughter any day.

That made me laugh, so true

There is no one on this forum (at least who posts regularly) who fits that description. Everyone I know who defends the game also admits that there are things that are wrong.

[patcook]

Keepers' agricultural 'through balls' cause Titus Bramble-esque qualities in the defence who stop and cry whilst the oppo striker walks it in.

This has been very frustrating for me, ive scored them and had them scored against me

[Ro]

Best post I've read in a long long time. Love it

[Some Guy!]

Here here!

[Kawee]

I don't agree with everything you say, but I have to give you TWO THUMBS UP. The best OP I've seen in a loooooong time.

[Pup8]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Nose Bear
'fanboys' denying anything is wrong and SI employees are welcome to a go on their daughter any day.
That made me laugh, so true

There is no one on this forum (at least who posts regularly) who fits that description. Everyone I know who defends the game also admits that there are things that are wrong.

But he doesn't deny they'll "let them have a go ..."

[This field intentionally left blank]

I really really really hate that word 'fanboy'

I would suggest that some people have the same reaction to the phrase "It's your tactics". BTW, its "fanboi".

[tomtuck01]

Has the bumming of brightonrock finished now?

He has not told us anything we didn't already know, and has merely posted in an amusing way. He is not really offering anything in regards to construtive criticism.

I'll go back to reading the few threads in GQ that actually offer an opinion or some insight, and not just something amusingly written.

[ndebergerac]

Keepers' agricultural 'through balls' cause Titus Bramble-esque qualities in the defence who stop and cry whilst the oppo striker walks it in.

9 times out of 10 full backs are beaten like S&M fetishists by wingers with laughable dribbling stats such as 4.

These ones I know best. A striker with acceleration of 6 will out run any defender

Has the bumming of brightonrock finished now?

He has not told us anything we didn't already know, and has merely posted in an amusing way. He is not really offering anything in regards to construtive criticism.

I'll go back to reading the few threads in GQ that actually offer an opinion or some insight, and not just something amusingly written.

Fanboy anyone?

[small Mac]

Has the bumming of brightonrock finished now?

He has not told us anything we didn't already know, and has merely posted in an amusing way. He is not really offering anything in regards to construtive criticism.

I'll go back to reading the few threads in GQ that actually offer an opinion or some insight, and not just something amusingly written.

Erm ok. Sorry brightonrock, looks like this thread will have to be closed for committing the sin of being 'amusing' and not containing 'constructive criticism'.

Please refrain from using humour in any future discussions. Thanks.

[echosofberlin]

Has the bumming of brightonrock finished now?

He has not told us anything we didn't already know, and has merely posted in an amusing way. He is not really offering anything in regards to construtive criticism.

I'll go back to reading the few threads in GQ that actually offer an opinion or some insight, and not just something amusingly written.

its your tactics

[steve dewilde]

nvm sorry :I

[Mike7077]

Fanboy anyone?

Well, no. He doesn't give an opinion on Football Manager or SI one way or the other in the post you're quoting.

Erm ok. Sorry brightonrock, looks like this thread will have to be closed for committing the sin of being 'amusing' and not containing 'constructive criticism'.

Please refrain from using humour in any future discussions. Thanks.

He wasn't criticising the use of humour. He was just pointing out that all this praise for the OP is overblown when you consider there is nothing of substance in his post. I would say that all the humour and the quality of expression can't hide that lack of substance, but from the way most people have reacted, it would seem it does.

[Mooks]

It was a good post and people reacted positively to it and had a laugh.

Why do you feel the need to spoil things, if that's how you feel, just don't post, go and discuss tactics or something.

And people wonder why the term 'fanboy' came about...

[GillsMan]

Ok so I've had the game since launch day and although I like it and I'm cracking on through the seasons with a peculiar blend of pent-up frustration, furious anger, joyful delirium and utter disbelief (both positive and negative), there are some general things that a lot of people are complaining about, and I thought I'd give my ten pence on them. The complaints are in varying degrees of hysteria, and I've experienced some, if not all of the problems, and I'm torn between joining forces with the 'moaners' demanding answers for the problems, or the 'fanboys' denying anything is wrong and SI employees are welcome to a go on their daughter any day. That said, I think the following could be addressed in the second patch, to make a currently very good game (shhhh moaners, it is good) even better (shhhh fanboys, it can be improved):

• Despite the transfer code being re-written (and by and large, it definately is infinitely better than previous versions), the developers got a bit dizzy on helium and blue smarties when it came to coding Man City, injected them with money and then forgot to inform the poor little Manc data accountant not to spend a quarter of a billion pounds a season, exclusively on breathtakingly average attacking midfielders.
• 90% of transfer bids 'become public knowledge'; one can only assume a footballing agent is, contrary to popular belief, not well paid, and most agents moonlight for The Mirror.
• All 22 on-pitch players appear to be trying the SoccerAM crossbar challenge with insatiable enthusiasm by shooting from a quarter of a mile away.
• Speaking of, the frame of the goal seems to have some kind of magnet in it.
• Keepers' agricultural 'through balls' cause Titus Bramble-esque qualities in the defence who stop and cry whilst the oppo striker walks it in.
• 9 times out of 10 full backs are beaten like S&M fetishists by wingers with laughable dribbling stats such as 4.
• Your assistant manager grew up next to a farm with three fields and an electric fence, and was presumably subject to a violent mugging or sexual crime between the fence and the middle field, thus explaining his obsession with playing a holding midfielder.
• Players regularly partake in impromptu mini-games amongst themselves, such as the schoolyard classic 'Arse' wherby they line up and leather it at each other from 5 yards away for no discernible reason.
• As we all know, Arsenal have won every trophy in every major tournament in every sport in the world, for the last 40 years, and this is reflected in their trophy cabinet after 2 years in-game.
• Strikers who don't score a hat-trick get rated as 5.6.
• Strikers in fact are incapable of the proverbial in a brothel, let alone, god forbid, kicking the round thing through the big rectangle.
• England win all penalty shootouts. There's no need for a humourous comment here.
• Serious injuries (ruptured colon, severed head, shattered pelvis etc) happen regularly; in many games all 3 subs are made by the 70-minute mark as your assistant manager makes hurried plans to visit your star striker's next of kin.
• In fact, most pre-season run-ins are more emotionally expensive than the break-up of a long term relationship, as your team suffers greater losses than the Russian Army, circa 1939-45.
• Playing 4411 is so experimental and philosophically world-changing that the fabric of reality is broken and 13 bearded, be-robed players take to the pitch for a feast of hobbit's bread and virgin's tears whilst daubing themselves with goats blood under two glowing red suns.

All in all they're minor improvements I think, fairly easily tweaked. Chin up boys and girls whilst the developers sortitoutsi, and in the meantime we can all sleep soundly in the knowledge that its probably your tactics, but more importantly its definately only a game.

I enjoyed your post. As others have pointed out, these issues have all been raised before, although I think (most of us) can appreciate the humour of your posts. Your comment about England penalty shootouts aside (it's just a matter of luck really, you can't say the England players have never had any of the required attributes to win a shootout), I think it's a decent list of some of the nuances of FM09 which could be improved.

[Mike7077]

It was a good post and people reacted positively to it and had a laugh.

Why do you feel the need to spoil things, if that's how you feel, just don't post, go and discuss tactics or something.

And people wonder why the term 'fanboy' came about...

That is absolute nonsense. So people who disagree with the original post should just go away and not post? Ridiculous. Have you ever had a debate in your life?

I personally thought it was a well put together post, but it didn't say anything we haven't heard before. I'd go along with what GillsMan says above.

I fail to see why disagreeing with the post is 'spoiling things'. It actually makes you sound rather immature to say that.

And as for the term 'fanboy', I reiterate. None of the people I've seen post regularly are fanboys. We all criticise the game. Just because we disagree with the OP doesn't make us 'fanboys'. Please stop using that ludicrous term.

[zulu83]

Well, no. He doesn't give an opinion on Football Manager or SI one way or the other in the post you're quoting.



He wasn't criticising the use of humour. He was just pointing out that all this praise for the OP is overblown when you consider there is nothing of substance in his post. I would say that all the humour and the quality of expression can't hide that lack of substance, but from the way most people have reacted, it would seem it does.

do you let si have a go on your daughter?

[Mike7077]

do you let si have a go on your daughter?

Firstly, you're going to have to show me where I said I never criticise them. I mean, I'm pretty sure I pointed out the opposite.

[Mooks]

That is absolute nonsense. So people who disagree with the original post should just go away and not post? Ridiculous. Have you ever had a debate in your life?

I personally thought it was a well put together post, but it didn't say anything we haven't heard before. I'd go along with what GillsMan says above.

I fail to see why disagreeing with the post is 'spoiling things'. It actually makes you sound rather immature to say that.

And as for the term 'fanboy', I reiterate. None of the people I've seen post regularly are fanboys. We all criticise the game. Just because we disagree with the OP doesn't make us 'fanboys'. Please stop using that ludicrous term.

‘Has the bumming of brightonrock finished now?’

Personally I feel that if this is all you have to say, then don’t bother. It’s hardly constructive is it... And neither is debating with you over what was I think just meant to be a light hearted bit of fun.

[Mike7077]

‘Has the bumming of brightonrock finished now?’

Personally I feel that if this is all you have to say, then don’t bother. It’s hardly constructive is it... And neither is debating with you over what was I think just meant to be a light hearted bit of fun.

It wasn't the best choice of sentence, but it wasn't all he said. It's pretty unfair to just pick that bit out and only quote it. The rest of what he said was a constructive criticism of the opening post.

I shouldn't be surprised by all this. It's pretty much what happens when you disagree with people on this forum.

[zulu83]

Firstly, you're going to have to show me where I said I never criticise them. I mean, I'm pretty sure I pointed out the opposite.

you never answered my question

[Suttface]

OP - The lack of criticism must mean that you've nailed it. Great post sire. Where have you been hiding? The forums should be more like this in my opinion.

[Mike7077]

you never answered my question

Well, I assume you're trying to claim that I must be a 'fanboy'. This is a ludicrous claim as I criticise their game constructively on a regular basis.

As I am not a 'fanboy', if I had a daughter I would not let them do that.

Enjoy your infraction.

[Mike7077]

OP - The lack of criticism must mean that you've nailed it. Great post sire. Where have you been hiding? The forums should be more like this in my opinion.

Are you blind? Look at the response to anyone who perfectly reasonably disagrees with the OP. Typical General Discussion crap, really. Not the opening post, just the way some people react to those who disagree.

[Suttface]

Has the bumming of brightonrock finished now?

He has not told us anything we didn't already know, and has merely posted in an amusing way. He is not really offering anything in regards to construtive criticism.

I'll go back to reading the few threads in GQ that actually offer an opinion or some insight, and not just something amusingly written.

'Head' and 'arse' and 'own' come to mind... Lighten up. The post was informative and it did offer opinion (and humour) regarding some of the issues in the game. I didn't realise people had to pass the 'totally original points' test to be allowed to post on the forums. There is nothing wrong with a light-hearted post that reiterates some points already discussed. View it as a simple summary.

[Mooks]

It wasn't the best choice of sentence, but it wasn't all he said. It's pretty unfair to just pick that bit out and only quote it. The rest of what he said was a constructive criticism of the opening post.

I shouldn't be surprised by all this. It's pretty much what happens when you disagree with people on this forum.

Not to be seen to be unfair:

‘Has the bumming of brightonrock finished now?

He has not told us anything we didn't already know, and has merely posted in an amusing way. He is not really offering anything in regards to construtive criticism.

I'll go back to reading the few threads in GQ that actually offer an opinion or some insight, and not just something amusingly written.’

I’ll give you the middle paragraph.

I suppose the negativity being sent your way is because most people feel it was unnecessary to criticise a post such as this. It was just, like I’ve said before, a bit of light hearted fun supposed to be amusing.

[Mike7077]

Not to be seen to be unfair:

‘Has the bumming of brightonrock finished now?

He has not told us anything we didn't already know, and has merely posted in an amusing way. He is not really offering anything in regards to construtive criticism.

I'll go back to reading the few threads in GQ that actually offer an opinion or some insight, and not just something amusingly written.’

I’ll give you the middle paragraph.

I suppose the negativity being sent your way is because most people feel it was unnecessary to criticise a post such as this. It was just, like I’ve said before, a bit of light hearted fun supposed to be amusing.

It doesn't matter if it's the best post since sliced bread. Anyone should be allowed to disagree with anyone on anything. Nobody should then have to put up with being asked ridiculous things about their daughter or being accused of being a fanboy.

[Nomis07]

do you let si have a go on your daughter?

I don't find that particularly amusing, in much the same way that I didn't find the OP particularly amusing. I agree with some of the points re problems with the game, but funny it is not.

[Suttface]

I don't find that particularly amusing, in much the same way that I didn't find the OP particularly amusing. I agree with some of the points re problems with the game, but funny it is not.

I actually can't believe that you have posted this. People, lighten up. There is a definite air of arrogance coming across here. The OP was light-hearted (funny to some) and not meant to be a dissertation on FM 2009. The forums should not simply be about experienced posters stating whether or not other people's contributions are valid. Admittedly, the usual 'fanboi' comments are tiresome but in this instance, not the fault of the OP. I'm sure it was meant to be a bit of fun, that is all. Fun is still valid on these forums...?

[IanZG]

Brilliant post!

And also a great name, brightonrock

[VonBlade]

Oh I see. I post a list of problems and I'm trolling. Many other people post a list of problems and they get told to post them individually in the bugs forum, if they aren't berated entirely for daring to critique. This guy posts a list of problems whilst ripping off Blackadder similes wholesale and it's lauded as the finest piece of writing since the dawn of time.

Nothing like consistency is there. Must be the rain getting in your brains.

[CaptainPlanet]

It's not really a general question is it, would probably sit better in the OTF Football Manager thread.

[Mike7077]

I actually can't believe that you have posted this. People, lighten up. There is a definite air of arrogance coming across here. The OP was light-hearted (funny to some) and not meant to be a dissertation on FM 2009. The forums should not simply be about experienced posters stating whether or not other people's contributions are valid. Admittedly, the usual 'fanboi' comments are tiresome but in this instance, not the fault of the OP. I'm sure it was meant to be a bit of fun, that is all. Fun is still valid on these forums...?

Of course it is. But if we happen to dsiagree with a post, whether it be for its nature or quality or whatever, we should be allowed to say so without getting abused. Any arrogance descends from those who refuse to let anything be heard other than what they happen to think.

Both myself and Nomis stated things we thought were positive about the post. Doesn't mean we should be barred from pointing out things we don't think are good about it.

[Mooks]

It doesn't matter if it's the best post since sliced bread. Anyone should be allowed to disagree with anyone on anything. Nobody should then have to put up with being asked ridiculous things about their daughter or being accused of being a fanboy.

I agree, the comments about daughters is out of order. As was the comment about bumming.

And I also agree that the forums are for debate.

However, it would have been nice to leave this thread as it was intended, instead of turning it into this, that was my original point of saying why spoil it, which was primarily aimed at the bumming comment, and to a lesser extent your comment about lack of substance to the OP.

[Suttface]

Oh I see. I post a list of problems and I'm trolling. Many other people post a list of problems and they get told to post them individually in the bugs forum, if they aren't berated entirely for daring to critique. This guy posts a list of problems whilst ripping off Blackadder similes wholesale and it's lauded as the finest piece of writing since the dawn of time.

Nothing like consistency is there. Must be the rain getting in your brains.

Are you looking for sympathy? I still love you. I think people just appreciated some of the humour in the OP, that is all. Not to everyone's taste, but just a light-hearted thread all the same. Amazing reactions from some of the 1000+ posters, good to see you all fired-up!

[Mike7077]

Oh I see. I post a list of problems and I'm trolling. Many other people post a list of problems and they get told to post them individually in the bugs forum, if they aren't berated entirely for daring to critique. This guy posts a list of problems whilst ripping off Blackadder similes wholesale and it's lauded as the finest piece of writing since the dawn of time.

Nothing like consistency is there. Must be the rain getting in your brains.

The magic ingredient to getting away with it is attempted humour, apparently.

[Mike7077]

I agree, the comments about daughters is out of order. As was the comment about bumming.

And I also agree that the forums are for debate.

However, it would have been nice to leave this thread as it was intended, instead of turning it into this, that was my original point of saying why spoil it, which was primarily aimed at the bumming comment, and to a lesser extent your comment about lack of substance to the OP.

I, myself, did not turn it into anything. I just posted my thoughts on the OP, and one other post. It didn't have to turn into this just because I did that.

[Mooks]

Dare I say there is a 'lots of posts' having a go at 'not many posts' going in here...

[Nomis07]

I actually can't believe that you have posted this. People, lighten up. There is a definite air of arrogance coming across here. The OP was light-hearted (funny to some) and not meant to be a dissertation on FM 2009. The forums should not simply be about experienced posters stating whether or not other people's contributions are valid. Admittedly, the usual 'fanboi' comments are tiresome but in this instance, not the fault of the OP. I'm sure it was meant to be a bit of fun, that is all. Fun is still valid on these forums...?

Perhaps you could point out where I said the OP wasn't making a valid point. If you read my post, all I said was that I didn't find it funny, but I did agree with some of his points.

It's quite funny actually, that you obviously haven't read my post and have dismissed it as invalid, yet have the nerve to pontificate about arrogance and peoples views being valid whether you disagree or not.

[Mike7077]

Are you looking for sympathy? I still love you. I think people just appreciated some of the humour in the OP, that is all. Not to everyone's taste, but just a light-hearted thread all the same. Amazing reactions from some of the 1000+ posters, good to see you all fired-up!

VonBlade was well within his rights to point out the inconsistency on display here.

[CaptainPlanet]

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

[Nomis07]

Dare I say there is a 'lots of posts' having a go at 'not many posts' going in here...

It looks like that will continue if people such as yourself continue to post utter pap.

[Suttface]

The magic ingredient to getting away with it is attempted humour, apparently.

Mike7077, have you had your coffee this morning Mr. Grumpy-pants? I agree with debate on the threads, but having a pop at the OP because it is not to your own humour tastes is a little harsh. As are the daughter/ bumming/ fanboi etc comments.

God this thread has got serious. C'mon guys, lets sing a song...

[GillsMan]

Right, seeing as this has descended into petty arguing I think I'll close this. I think the main reason I enjoyed this post is it was just a bit different from all the other posts I've been reading recently. The substance was the same, but the presentation was a little different.

[Mike7077]

Dare I say there is a 'lots of posts' having a go at 'not many posts' going in here...

It happens to be 'not many posts' who have launched an attack on myself for daring to go against the grain of the thread. I have had plenty of decent discussion with people with post counts of all different shapes and sizes! I don't consider post count important, personally.