[FM15] Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

I said I'd stay away for a while, but, like Jake Gyllenhall in Brokeback Mountain, I wish I knew how to quit you (FM). I'm back, hopefully for a more successful trip than my recent excursions with FM14.

For this one, I'm paring things back slightly to my usual game, and I intend to undertake a one-club career. More on that later, because for now, we're off to Hamburg.

The Manager

Pretty unremarkable. Max Harvey returns, this time with a new face, but the rest of the details are the same. He remains a proud Glaswegian, born and bred, and a big supporter of Partick Thistle.

Not much in the way of extra information, but I've added St Pauli as a favourite team - wonder if that'll save me if results don't go our way!

Now here we come to the new feature - manager attributes. I've put a bit of thought into these, and tried to mirror what I think my own skills would be. As you may have known by reading my other careers, I love a striker, so my attacking coaching is up. Goalkeepers and defending conversely are down, with technical and tactical given a boost. In terms of personal skills, I've boosted man management and motivating for obvious reasons.

The Reasons

This may be all about Max Harvey, but it's grounded in my own personal experience. This last weekend I've not been able to play the beta, because I was in Hamburg on a stag weekend. We went to catch St Pauli vs Karlsruhe, and to be honest I've fallen in love with the club, the stadium, the fans, everything. They got pumped 4-0, but from start to finish it was a huge party. I'd always heard that German football was good, but a group of us are seriously considering making regular trips over during the season to catch some more games.

So thanks to that, I'm aiming to try and bring this great club up. It may be pretty hipster to say you like the club due to some of their policies and views, but they deserve it. Will the fans be dancing on the Reeperbahn during my time here?

The Club

So, St Pauli. For those that are already familiar with the club, you can probably skip this entire section. I could go on for pages about it, but instead I'll just link to the Wikipedia page for the club. The main takeaways though are the development of the concept of being a "kult" club in the 80s. Thanks to the location of the club near the Reeperbahn (that place is an eye opener...) and the docks, the fanbase ended up comprising of an eclectic mix. This situation hasn't always endeared the club to the rest of the league, on occasion they have been called "das Freudenhaus der Liga" ("Brothel of the League"). However, mostly they seem to be a yo-yo club, flitting between the 2. and 3. Ligas, with a couple of momentous seasons in the top flight. They've had financial problems in the past, but as a side that often welcomes a full capacity of around 29000 to each home game (and the highest percentage of female fans in the country), they're fairly secure financially at the moment.

The Aims

As I said earlier, my main over-riding aim is to have a one-club save, and stay at St Pauli for at least a decade. It could end up being shorter than that, and turn into a journeyman, or it could end up being way longer. It could even end up being shorter and lead to Max Harvey retiring and a new manager being added, so it's not set in stone. Ideally though, I'll be here for a while.

In terms of specific aims, they're pretty vanilla, but I'll set them out in terms of a ten-year plan. The reason for this is that I had a very fun save on FM13 with Hertha Berlin, where I stayed for ten years before calling it a day. I believe that this is a good period of time to plan for, and gives a bit of leeway for over-achieving, or under-achieving more accurately.

Year 1 - Consolidate in 2. Bundesliga, get respectable position

Years 2-3 - Challenge for Promotion to 1. Bundesliga either as Champions, 2nd or play-offs

Years 4-6 - Survive. Survive survive survive.

Years 6-10 - Build in the top tier, try and get into Europe and compete alongside the likes of Dortmund and Bayern

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2014/15 - Part 1 - Pre-season

So I lied - it'll be a twice yearly update thanks to the German winter break! First up, pre-season and expectations

Expectations

My Expectations

2. Bundesliga: Mid-table

DFB Pokal: As far as I can

Hard to argue with these. Respectable position is pretty vague though, but if I manage mid-table, I'll be happy. In the cup, as long as I hit the 2nd round the board will be happy, but I'd like to go as far as possible.

A steady 15000 season tickets, and that's more than the entire capacity of half the sides in the league. I'll expect around 27000 average attendance over the course of the season.

Transfers

I wanted to ease into things, and not make too many waves in the first weeks with the club. As such, our transfers have a wholly youthful look with three youngsters joining

Nils Bruning - This was already organised prior to me joining, but my coaches believe he has the potential to be a very good player. Unfortunately, he both came from and supports our bitter rivals HSV, so can't imagine he'll be too popular with the fans...

Oliver Markoutz - Another one with good potential, and will fill the role of tricky inside forward in future hopefully. If he doesn't work out, then at least he was a free transfer.

Karol Hallmann - A quick young defender with some promising stats for his age. Hopefully he can develop at the club and become a starter in time

Friendlies

A mixed run of results while I tried to wrestle my team into an effective formation. Pandurii were faced by the previous manager, but the 6-0 demolition of the second team was my doing. Unfortunately, it went a bit pear-shaped from there. Two uninspiring draws and one defeat. Still, early days yet.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2014/15 - Part 2 - Autumn/Winter

So let's get right down to it...

We're doing alright, but there are some worrying signs in there. Early in the season we matched the boards expectations by reaching the 2nd round of the cup thanks to a dominant win over lower league opposition. We were then rewarded with a match I thought I'd have to wait longer for - a Hamburger Derby. Unfortunately, the match itself was a write-off. We went in goalless at half time, and I decided to try and up the ante and go a bit more attacking. We went 1-0 down against the run of play, and the game swung. As we chased, they picked us off, and a 3-0 defeat was probably about right in the end. Disappointing, but we'll be back.

If the cup was disappointing, our early league form was downright troubling. We managed to win our first home game at the Millerntor in late August, but we then had to wait until late October for our next three points. A run of four draws, followed by two defeats, saw us staring at the totally wrong end of the table, and left me questioning whether or not I had what it take to lead the club.

It was then that I decided to finally listen to what my coaches were telling me. Earlier in the season they suggested I'd be better playing with 2 DMs. I had been playing a fairly flat 4-4-1-1, but eventually changed to bring both CMs back. From that point, leaving aside the loss to HSV, we played ten, lost one, drew two and won seven. We finished off the first half of the season with a wonderful comeback win from 2-0 down, scoring four without reply to 1860 Munich in front of our own fans.

And breathe.

At the half-way point we sit 5th, just nine points behind top of the table Dusseldorf. Could we be outside shots for promotion? We certainly could be, but I'm not even thinking about that. Or at least not talking about it. If we got into the play-off and lost it, I would still be absolutely delighted. A top-half finish would be more than I hoped for, and set us up nicely for a promotion attempt next time around. Still, fifteen games to go, let's push on.

Key Players

Marc Rzatkowski - Attributes - Stats

Hands down the best player at the club. I singled out Budimir (more in him later) but in the game I watched, Rzatkowski was probably the second most disappointing with his complete inability to take on a man, and general "can't-be-arsed-ness". He was playing out on the right there though, behind the strikers is clearly where he should be played, and he is absolutely thriving. When Budimir doesn't score, Marc does. Crucial player.

Ante Budimir - Attributes - Stats

I put the pressure on him, and he hasn't disappointed. His injury earlier in the season threatened to put the skids on, but eight goals and three assists in sixteen games is a good enough return for the lone striker. He'll be so important in the second half of the season, and I'll be looking for him to hit at least fifteen goals by the end. Hopefully he breaks even that limit.

Lasse Sobiech - Attributes

Misplaced his stats screen, but Lasse has been solid. Another HSV player, but this time loaned to us. I'll be disappointed if he ends up leaving us at the end of the season, but there's no doubting his loyalties right now. I'll definitely be looking to extend the deal.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2014/15 - Part 3 - Spring/Summer

Going into the winter break, I had one objective: keep up the form we'd managed in the Autumn/Winter period and keep in touch with the peloton of top clubs. If we fell away and finished mid-table, we'd have simply satisfied expectations. But if we could push on...well, it could mean top tier football next season. And, you know, loads of money.

To try and help us achieve this, I had been scouting a few players fairly extensively through November and December. When the window re-opened, I was very tempted to bring in a few new faces, but instead settled on one. Danish keeper Frederik Ronnow joins from AC Horsens for 350k, which is completely absorbed by the 550k I received for selling an unhappy John Verhoek. At 22, Ronnow could be our keeper for the next fifteen years conceivably, but I don't think he'll become first choice right away. I want to keep faith with Philipp Tschauner for the rest of the season, barring any calamitous errors. Next season we can start phasing in the new blood and get some competition going.

My first youth intake with the club, and one that is...alright I suppose. Could be better, could be worse. My assistant wanted me to take most of them on, so I did, but there's two in particular I'll be keeping my eye on. Holger Toboll and Kevin Schmoller will hopefully become stars of the future for us.

We kept up our decent form in the friendlies, managing to stay unbeaten, but apart from Rapid Wien, these are teams we really should be beating. The real tests start soon.

And with that, my first season ends. I'll go into the matches in detail, but just want to show you this first, just to give some context.

WE'RE GOING TO THE BIG TIME!

It was tough. It was nervy. But on the final day, we managed to secure our place at the top table. We remained around the top for most of this period, but a terrible early March let teams catch up, and made for big pressure going into the final eight games. It didn't help that around this time the injuries started piling up, with one to Ante Budimir (and then Christopher Nothe right after) causing us to have a bit of a striker crisis. We picked up our form though, and when we beat Union Berlin in our third-to-last game, we secured at least a play-off spot.

So our task ended up being very simple for those last two games - win one, and we'd secure automatic promotion. Win both, and Dusseldorf slip up, the title could be ours. Obviously then, the game with Kaiserslautern was a must-win to send us into final day with a little less pressure. Unfortunately, best laid plans often go awry. We were 2-0 down at half-time, leading me to do the unthinkable and go 2 up top. 35 seconds in to the second half, they had a goal disallowed. One minute after, we gave away a penalty...3-0 to the Kaiser. Ante Budimir got a goal back in the 61st minute, and suddenly we looked the more dangerous side. We pressed and probed, and ten minutes later it was 3-2...surely we couldn't do it, right? If we won this game, I thought, then surely the league was ours? Unfortunately not, as 2 minutes after Rzatkowski's goal, it was 4-2. We pushed again, but despite Nothe making it 4-3, it wasn't enough. We handed Dusseldorf the title, and went into final day just a point ahead of RB Leipzig in 3rd.

If the task was simple before, now it was...more simple, I guess? Win, and we were up. Draw, and we had to hope Leipzig didn't win. Lose...and we had to pray. I mean, we were only up against Aalen, right? What's that? They're fighting for their very survival? Hmmm...

As you can see from the score, it was a battle. We weren't at our best, but imperious loanee Lasse Soblech scored from a corner, and the sound of relief from the stands at the Millerntor was audible. We toddled along from there, keeping Aalen at arms length, and relegating them as things stood. But is there anything more dangerous than that on final day? On the stroke of half-time, they equalised, and suddenly the fear radiated from the stands. We went in at half time still in 2nd - a gear we had yet to reach - but looking over our shoulders. A goal for Leipzig would change everything.

In the 53rd minute, a fierce shot was palmed out to Michael Gorlitz, and he made no mistake in rolling it into an empty net. 2-1 up, and with Leipzig still at 0-0, we were just about home...until eight minutes later when Aalen, once again, equalised. I'm going mad on the touchline, and fans are losing their ****, and once again radios are pressed to ears listening to events at Heidenheim.

But then eight minutes later, a roar rises. Heidenheim are ahead. We can now lose and still keep 2nd. I encourage the players, but it's like electricity has gone through them. Just minutes later, undisputed player of the season Marc Rzatkowski shows exactly why we love him so much by scoring the winner. He disappears into the home fans, and Aalen crumple. Neither desperate side - Aalen or Leipzig - can grab a goal, and the final whistles blow. We were in the Bundesliga.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2014/15 - Part 4 - Roundup

In the words of notorious sexist duo Keys and Gray, we smashed it. The board are delighted, as am I. A very good season, but we can't let ourselves get carried away. The Bundesliga is going to be so tough next year.

The finance graph hasn't updated to show my income for the end of the season, but we're projected to make a near £29 million profit. I can't wait to see what kind of budgets we get for next season.

Key Players

Christopher Nothe - Stats

Bet you thought you'd see Budimir here...as I mentioned earlier, he was injured for a key part of the season, and I have to say that Nothe stepped up fantastically. He managed seven goals in the games he was involved in, often at crucial times. I had promised him more regular football earlier in the season, and have to say I did not keep that promise before Christmas. But thanks in part to Budimir's injury, I gave him a chance and he repaid me. He'll feature next year.

Lasse Soblech - Stats

One of the biggest decisions of the summer is going to be what to do about Lasse. He's on loan currently, but that's only to the end of the season. I broached the subject of a permanent transfer with HSV a few weeks before the end of the season, and they were happy to let him go...for about £3 million. It's a hefty amount to pay, but I believe he's worth it. I'll see what kind of budgets I get given, but I definitely think he'll be a St Pauli player next season.

Marc Rzatkowski - Stats

What else can I say? Comfortably our best player. Our top goalscorer. The leagues 2nd top scorer (14) and 2nd top average rating (7.34) and also 3rd most man of the matches (6). One man army, and I don't know what we'd do without him. His contract expires in two years time, so I'll probably look to give him a new one in the summer.

Next Years Aims

I may end up ruing saying it, but in my end of season team meeting, I told the squad that I would keep the faith with them next year. Are we good enough for the Bundesliga? If we cut out some of the stupid results this season, we could've been Champions, and I definitely think we can best Dusseldorf over the course of the season. We've been in the Bundesliga (in its current form) twice in our history, and both times we've finished dead last. As long as we don't do that again, I think we can be considered a success. But then I'm not going up just to come straight back down. I'll try and add strength, but it's my vow to let these players see what they can do. I'm also mindful of their 2001 stint in the league when they spent their TV money on rubbish, and got relegated anyway.

Of course, I fully reserve my right to change my mind in January and splurge.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2015/16 - Part 1 - Post and Pre-Season

First up, the board let me know how much money I'd be given for our return to the Bundesliga. I wasn't exactly thrilled. I was quoted around £3.5 million to make the loan of Lasse Soblech permanent, so to only give us £1.67 million was a bit of a blow. Our wage budget has increased, but again, not by too much. It will certainly be a struggle to improve enough to really battle it out with the big boys.

I did say that I would keep the faith with the side that got me promotion, which included my happy surprise Christopher Nothe. Unfortunately, he had other ideas.

He's got the hump though, despite getting a decent number of games late in the season. Interesting to see how this one turns out.

The Fans Player of the Year award was unsurprising, but nice to see the addition of the breakdown in votes. Our fans clearly have impeccable taste.

Pre-Season

There was no way I was going to put my neck on the line by promising anything more than a brave fight. Especially given the media's opinion on our chances. 1000-1 and growing. Easy.

But our fans will continue to flock to the Millerntor, with an increase of almost 3000 season tickets sold. If we managed to stay in the division, hopefully that number gets even larger.

In terms of transfers, my lack of funds led to me being very conservative with my signings. I scouted extensively - probably more than I ever have before in an FM game - and ended up coming up with one youth signing (Thorsten Mustroph), one first teamer (Loris Damonte), and one that my scouts thought was brilliant, but the rest of my staff disagreed (Philip Hastrup). Damonte was the one I spent most of my time on. I was looking for wide players to either give us something extra, or at least add a bit of depth. My scouts brought me back a number of players that were far out of our league, but Loris - being able to play on the left and right - fits the bill perfectly.

However, there was one more signing that was confirmed prior to the start of the new season...

An absolutely massive signing for us. They demanded a monthly fee, but at around 24k, it's not bank-breaking, and if he keeps us in the division, it'll be a bargain.

Finally, we rhymed off a large number of friendlies that involved a mini tour of Scotland (and a horror defeat to Raith), a testimonial, and then a series of home friendlies against diddy clubs. We've prepared just about as well as I could have. Now on to the games proper.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2015/16 - Part 2 - August 2015

We started the season off with a routine win in the cup, smashing Schwabmunchen 5-1. A very good performance, and one that sets us up well for the season, but I can't help but wish we'd scored a few more, especially with being 4-0 up at half time. The real games were yet to come though.

And once those real games started, we wondered what the fuss was all about. We couldn't have asked for a better start to the season, facing old foes RB Leipzig in the first match. It wasn't going too well as we headed towards the closing minutes still 1-0 down. With Nothe out injured and Budimir being completely useless, I brought on Lennart Thy to try and grab us a goal. He went one better and got two, handing us an already priceless win. We then enjoyed a decent 1-1 draw against Hannover, and then an amazing win against Koln to leave us chilly at the top, just two points away from Bayern Munich.

Well, who saw that coming?

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2015/16 - Part 3 - September 2015

Just a quick note to show our finances as the transfer window slid quietly shut. We've done good business, so even if we get relegated, we shouldn't have too many problems. But if we stay up, it'll be an absolute masterstroke.

The honeymoon is over as the Bundesliga fights back. We started against Dortmund at home, the sort of matches the fans must dream of. We gave a very good account of ourselves, and probably could've grabbed a draw on several occasions, but we fell to a 1-0 defeat. Unfortunate, but acceptable. We did managed to scrape three points over the next three games though, including one against last year's 2. Bundesliga Champions Dusseldorf. It's not the worst that could have happened, but it's something to be wary of.

We're at the right end of the table, but it's not the easiest thing to read the table at this stage. At Christmas we'll know more, but if we're anywhere near here, I'll be ecstatic.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2015/16 - October 2015

A disappointing month, has to be said. We did manage to pick up six crucial points to grind our way up the league, but then we also had a bitterly disappointing defeat away to Paderborn, and then another one in the cup away at Augsburg. I had hoped to reach the third round this year, but unfortunately Augsburg had other ideas. We did recover to inflict an unlikely defeat on Leverkusen though, scoring in the third minute and then holding on for dear life for the remaining 87.

7th is crazy for us. With just six or seven weeks to go until Christmas and the break, if we're still in the top 10 then...surely we're safe, right?

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2015/16 - November 2015

We took on two of the title favourites in November, along with our greatest rivals. A tough month on paper, and also on the pitch it seems. Losing to Bayern and Schalke was disappointing but not entirely unexpected. It was the draw at home to HSV that really upset me. We played extremely well, Ante Budimir getting us off to the best start just one minute in (he'd already missed one chance), but both times we took the lead, we were pegged back. We dominated, and really should have won it, but we couldn't put away our Hamburg neighbours. With them struggling near the bottom, it would have been most pleasing to inflict a defeat on them. There's always later in the season.

Down to 11th, but we're still performing way above expectations. Only six points between us and that dreaded play-off place though...

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2015/16 - December 2015

A priceless three points against a struggling Hertha Berlin, but then two defeats to top sides gave the month a familiar look.

We now go into the winter break five points from the play-off spot, and know that we have to pick up our form once the league resumes. Our form has definitely dipped, and although we're still above expectations, with just five points in it that can disappear in just two games. We have to be wary.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2015/16 - January 2016

The board asked me if I wanted to change my expectations during the break, but I declined. I don't intend to spend the money we have at the moment, let alone any extra, and the way our form is going there's only one direction we may go...

But then the board seem to absolutely love me. I'm "Untouchable" at the moment, and everything looks rosy.

And it's not just with the board. Struggling Premiership side Huddersfield offered me the chance of a job interview, but it was quickly rejected. It's hardly the kind of job that would make me leave Hamburg.

In other news, Dortmund seem absolutely desperate to sign one of my recent youth intake players. They started out with a paltry bid which was barely even registered, but the money has risen and risen until I received this non-negotiable offer. Around £4.6 million for a player who has barely played an U19 game yet? Madness. I was very tempted to accept, but if Dortmund are willing to shell out that much, then we must have a player on our hands. He'll stay with us, and maybe we can start to involve him next season.

Just two home friendlies during the break, and not really much to write home about. The real matches start on the 23rd - away to Hannover, at home to Koln, and then a trip to the Westfalenstadion to face Dortmund.

A priceless three points against struggling Koln, but - as always it seems - it's sandwiched between two heavy defeats. They were expected defeats, of course, but we need to start doing better.

Our win pushes us a little higher in the table, but there's sides below us with games in hand, so it's not really representative. I get the feeling that this will go right down to the wire.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2015/16 - February 2016

As January drew to a close, I decided to strike while the iron was rich and ask the board for an improvement in facilities.

With a bit of cajoling, the board agreed to improve both youth recruitment and junior coaching. That should help us build our team from the youth ranks in future.

Speaking of which...

Patryk Jastrzebski is the stand-out, and he could range from a pretty good player to a very, very good one. Will be keeping my eye on him.

Unfortunately, back on the pitch, things weren't quite so rosy.

A busy month, and a terrible one from our perspective. We're running down a hill, and we've now reached the point where all that momentum means you can't stop. We're in freefall. A 0-0 draw at the start of the month was alright, but not great given it was against a side we really should be beating. But I would definitely have taken a few more matches like that in hindsight. Three 4-2 defeats, and then a 5-3 for a bit of a change.

Oh. ****ing. Dear.

Check out that graph at the top. We hit 3rd at one point, but since then we've sunk like a stone, only halted by a few wins here and there. We have to turn this around, and soon, otherwise we'll be drawn even further into the relegation mire. Our only saving grace is how bad Paderborn and HSV have been. Hertha haven't been much better, and hopefully those three stay below us at the end of the season.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2015/16 - March 2016

March saw our quest for survival continue, and included what is probably the biggest game of the season so far against Paderborn. Lose that, and we will be in deep trouble, given that we have two very difficult games as well.

Two heavy defeats, but sandwiching what could be an absolutely crucial result against Paderborn. When we went 1-0 down, I feared the worst, but two quick fire goals put us ahead, and we closed out the match to get a priceless three points. Unfortunately, all that good feeling was smashed down as Leverkusen inflicted another heavy defeat.

That win moves us a little further away from trouble, but I'm still worried about our form. We do have matches to come against both Hertha Berlin and HSV though - those are now...well, I don't think there's an adjective to describe their importance.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2015/16 - April 2016

I talked last time about some very crucial games coming up, and the first is this month against HSV. A Hamburger derby is always important, but now that the loser will probably face relegation, it takes on even bigger importance. Once again though, that match is surrounded by matches against top sides - this time Schalke (currently 2nd) and Bayern (currently top). I'm not expecting anything from these matches, but a win from HSV is vital.

We started out with what, on paper, looks like a fantastic result against Schalke. I would be inclined to agree, but when you're 2-0 up against a side who could win the league, you have to be disappointed when you don't close that out. 2-2 is acceptable though, and it's another point on the board.

Unfortunately, we just couldn't find a way past our rivals in the next game. We were behind though, so a point in that context looks good, but we were all over them for the final half hour, and just couldn't turn that pressure into a win. It's not the end of the World, but it's not a good result at all for us.

Continuing the theme of nearly-men, we could have sneaked a result against Bayern. I went to an unprecedented 4-2-2-2-0 formation, with two AMC and no strikers, and with half an hour gone it looked to be paying off as we equalised. Unfortunately, Bayern scored soon after to take the lead, and then managed to close out the game. We fought hard, but a 92nd minute goal ended our hopes and left us staring into the yawning abyss opening up behind us.

It's now probably a five-horse race for relegation going into the final three games. I'll outline what looks like the situation for each side, before I go into each game one by one in the next few posts.

Paderborn - 18th

Poor old Paderborn. With a possible nine points remaining, they're seven away from automatic safety. They are only four from a play-off spot though, which could be possible, but with the fixtures the way they are, they're unlikely to get even three. If they lose their next game, they'll face at least a play-off. If other results go against them, they could be down with a defeat. Win at all costs for them

HSV - 17th

Two points from a play-off, four behind ourselves. Survival is definitely possible, and they probably have the better run-in. They're probably still the 2nd favourites to go down automatically though.

Hertha BSC - 16th

Hertha have perhaps the most interesting run-in. They face us - a fellow basement side - and then Stuttgart on final day. The way things are going, that match could have a massive amount riding on it, as both sides could still be in danger. They are three points away from safety, so a win against us will put them in a fantastic position.

St Pauli - 15th

Our job is simple - beat Hertha and then try to pick up at least a point from our final two games. If we do that, we should be safe.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2015/16 - Matchday 32

Two huge matches in this card at the bottom of the table. HSV don't play until tomorrow, so they'll watch as Paderborn go into their absolutely must-win game. They'll also get to see which side, if any, can pull away from the play-off spot between St Pauli and Hertha BSC.

The other half of Hamburg celebrates as Paderborn confirm their relegation, and their St Pauli rivals **** the bed. We were absolutely smashed in the end, and didn't put out any kind of performance that deserved any points. Hertha pull away, and suddenly it looks like we're the new favourites for the play-off spot at best.

When Sunday came, HSV missed the chance to fully close the gap by drawing 2-2 with Stuttgart. That's a result that probably suits the visitors more, but Hertha's win probably means that Stuttgart are more likely to drop now. It changes day to day.

Koln's defeat to Hoffenheim may have dragged them in to the battle, just two points away from us now. HSV remain four points adrift of the play-off spot, so their next match now becomes so crucial. Just like ours. Lose, and we're probably in the play-off. If we lose and HSV win...well we're in deep trouble.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2015/16 - Matchday 33

A full card today, so every side will be playing with one eye on the rest of the pack. Paderborn have been cut adrift, but HSV, St Pauli, Koln, Hertha and Stuttgart are all sweating over that last automatic relegation spot, and the one play-off spot. Bayern could seal the title, but they're up against Stuttgart, who will obviously be fighting for their lives.

Let's get on with it then....

Bayern missed the chance to seal the title, and Schalke close the gap. Stuttgart will be delighted, moving two points clear of the play-off spot. Koln also had a good day, and are surely safe now thanks to a 5-1 demolition of Salzburg. Hertha have probably done enough too thanks to their win. It may be far too late, but Paderborn turned in a wonderful performance to win 3-1 in front of their own fans.

Now onto the losers of today. HSV couldn't break the stalemate against Wolfsburg. They're not totally down yet, but a win would have really helped. But in the end, it's not the worst result, because we continued our absolutely horrendous form by letting Max Kruse net a 16 minute hat-trick. He breezed through us again and again, and when the third goal hit, there was really no way back. I'm surprised it didn't end up more, so hopefully our morale is boosted slightly ahead of final day.

HSV are now guaranteed to face at least a play-off. Their task is simple - win their game and hope that we don't win ours. A point will relegate our rivals and put us into the play-off. Our task is similar - we need to win our game and hope that Hertha can do us a favour and beat Stuttgart. If they do, and we do, then we're safe. Simple, right? Not even we could screw this up...

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2015/16 - Matchday 3

We could have done with an easier final game. But then so could HSV. Stuttgart and Hertha will know that they can play out a draw and both be safe, but I would hope that that wouldn't happen.

3. HSV take the lead through Rudnevs! Doesn't change much yet, but they're doing their bit!

Hertha BSC 0 - 0 Stuttgart

Hoffenheim 0 - 0 St Pauli

HSV 1 - 0 Mainz

14th. Hertha BSC

15th. Stuttgart

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16th. St Pauli

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17th. HSV

18th. Paderborn

4. Disaster for St Pauli as Hoffenheim take the lead through Kevin Volland!

Hertha BSC 0 - 0 Stuttgart

Hoffenheim 1 - 0 St Pauli

HSV 1 - 0 Mainz

14th. Hertha BSC

15th. Stuttgart

-----------------

16th. HSV

-----------------

17th. St Pauli

18th. Paderborn

25. St Pauli are back in this! A well-struck equaliser from Marc Rzatkowski has squared this game up, and HSV are going down as it stands!

Hertha BSC 0 - 0 Stuttgart

Hoffenheim 1 - 1 St Pauli

HSV 1 - 0 Mainz

14th. Hertha BSC

15th. Stuttgart

-----------------

16th. St Pauli

-----------------

17th. HSV

18th. Paderborn

28. But they can't hold it! St Pauli are behind once again, and they're going down once again! The HSV supporters are dancing in the stands!

Hertha BSC 0 - 0 Stuttgart

Hoffenheim 2 - 1 St Pauli

HSV 1 - 0 Mainz

14th. Hertha BSC

15th. Stuttgart

-----------------

16th. HSV

-----------------

17th. St Pauli

18th. Paderborn

HALF-TIME: At the half-time whistle, both Hertha and Stuttgart are safe. HSV are in the play-off and St Pauli are going down automatically.

46. Lasogga slots it home and HSV are surely heading for the playoff! It's 2-0!

Hertha BSC 0 - 0 Stuttgart

Hoffenheim 2 - 1 St Pauli

HSV 2 - 0 Mainz

14th. Hertha BSC

15th. Stuttgart

-----------------

16th. HSV

-----------------

17th. St Pauli

18th. Paderborn

50. And Mainz have a goal back! Silence in the stands, and now every St Pauli supporter is begging Mainz for an equaliser...

Hertha BSC 0 - 0 Stuttgart

Hoffenheim 2 - 1 St Pauli

HSV 2 - 1 Mainz

14th. Hertha BSC

15th. Stuttgart

-----------------

16th. HSV

-----------------

17th. St Pauli

18th. Paderborn

72. Stuttgart are ahead. That goal doesn't really mean much, as both sides should remain safe. Only a Hertha win can cause problems, as long as St Pauli can win.

Hertha BSC 0 - 1 Stuttgart

Hoffenheim 2 - 1 St Pauli

HSV 2 - 1 Mainz

14th. Stuttgart

15th. Hertha BSC

-----------------

16th. HSV

-----------------

17th. St Pauli

18th. Paderborn

89. UNBELIEVABLE SCENES! Mainz have equalised in the dieing seconds, and that could be the goal that sends HSV down!

Hertha BSC 0 - 1 Stuttgart

Hoffenheim 2 - 1 St Pauli

HSV 2 - 2 Mainz

14th. Stuttgart

15th. Hertha BSC

-----------------

16th. St Pauli

-----------------

17th. HSV

18th. Paderborn

FULL-TIME: HSV are relegated. St Pauli are in the play-off.

That really sums up our season - we had to rely on others to save us. With this form, I can't see us getting through the play-off, which will be against FC Nurnberg.

No matter what happens, the money for this finish will really help. The budgets also look good, but obviously if we get relegated - or even if we don't - we'll really need to be careful not to spend too much.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2015/16 - Relegation Play-off

This is not the news we hoped to hear just before our relegation play-off. Rzatkowski will miss both games, and to be honest, I don't think we have the backup to properly replace him. Sebastien Maier will step in, but that means he won't be sitting at MR where he usually is, meaning we'll be weaker in two positions. With our form like it is, we really didn't need this.

So there we have it. We're relegated.

We really didn't deserve any better. It seemed like all our fight was beaten out of us in the first leg. It was a very good match, end to end stuff, and when Timo Baumgarti scored an epic bullet of an own goal, it looked like we'd go on to win the match. When Nurnberg scored their third away goal though, that seemed to be that. We had to score two in the second leg at least, but didn't even manage one. Nurnberg kept us at arms length for the entire second leg and won fairly easily.

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2015/16 - Post-season

This was thrown at me in the hours following our play-off defeat. I blamed injuries, and the board weren't having it. The end result was that I would have to get a good result in our next match, or face the sack. How strictly are they going to adhere to that? Guess we'll find out next season...

Season 2016/17 - Pre-season

There was nothing else for it pre-season, we had to go for it. I've told the board that we'll achieve a title challenge, which we probably should be able to do at the very least. It's dangerous ground though - three pretty good sides came down this season, and none of the ones we're joining will be particularly interested in just letting us fight it out amongst ourselves. It could be very difficult to bounce straight back up, but luckily we're going to be financially backed. It's going to be so important to get value out of that money.

And confirmation of the board's expectations. I've still to see whether or not they'll follow through on their threat to sack me if we don't win our opening game, but hopefully I remain in ignorance. The fans are happy to back me as is the man I replaced. Unfortunately, they don't hold much sway.

Our friendlies were another mixed bag, but really they were just about getting the players as fit as possible for the big task ahead.

In terms of transfers, the above joined us in what was a very busy summer. For the most part, I let my director of football have free reign, right up until he seemed desperate to bring in a left back we didn't need. Before that though, he picked out some absolute gems. And before that, I managed to put through a few transfers myself.

Marco Soprano was signed on a pre-contract agreement a while back, and finally joins. I just hope I'll have long enough at the club to see him realise some of his potential. On a more short-term basis, Lasse Soblech has joined us permanently after his contract ran out at HSV. He had a bit of a torrid time last season thanks to the jump in quality, but hopefully now that he's joined us for the next few years, in a lower division, he can pick up where he left off.

Christian Strohdlek, Javi Noblejas, Lennart Hein, Robert Berger, Benno Schmitz and Philip Klingmann all join to bolster our defence further. As I took stock at the end of the window, I probably could have done with less of these, but if it tightens us up at the back, it'll be worth it.

Further forward, nippy winger Adrian Nikci will give us a bit of depth on the flanks. However, it's further forward that I'm particularly happy with. Leigh Griffiths, for those that don't know, is one of the ugliest footballers there ever has been. He is also thick as mince, and has said a few questionable and borderline racist things on Twitter. He was also the star of both an official BBC blog, and a less official fan-made blog, which is one of the funniest things out there if you have even a passing knowledge of Scottish football and/or Jocky Scott. However, none of this matters in FM - what really matters is that the boy definitely knows where the goal is. I'm really happy to have him on board, and he should form a good partnership with Ante Budimir.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

Season 2016/17 - July/August

I didn't find out whether the board would have sacked me thanks to a wonderful 2-0 win away at Heidenheim on opening day. Leigh Griffiths got both, and the superlatives were flowing for him. I started to believe that maybe this season wouldn't be too bad after all.

A week later, in our first match at the Millerntor, we threw the lead away twice to draw with Kaiserslautern. The reaction was...predictable.

The board called me in again, and once again I was forced to justify my continued presence. I said the games were pretty tough - which they were - and I was told to shut it. I asked them what it would take to keep me in the job, and they told me. Ten points from the next five games. It's definitely the sort of form a title-chasing side should be managing, but could we do it?

Then came the curious case of Max Harvey's contract. I went to the board, looking for the option to ask for more time. I didn't think it would work, but thought it was worth a try. The option was gone, so instead I asked for a new contract - can't hurt, right? Of course, they rejected it out of hand, and I ran off before they could sack me right there. Fast forward a week or so...

Ok, not really sure what went on there! Despite being just five results from the sack, I was given an extension to my contract, and up went my job status to stable. Was I out of the woods? I guess I'll need to play those five games and find out...

So back to our results. I managed the expected comfortable win in the cup, moving into the second round fairly comfortably. Ante Budimir got a hat-trick, which he followed up in the next game with another. Unfortunately, even scoring 4 goals wasn't enough to hold Furth at bay. We held the lead three times, and once again we blew it three times. We then rounded off the month with a 2-1 defeat to Augsburg in front of our own fans.

If the board are still keeping score, then that's one point out of a possible six. That means we need three wins in three games.

Non-Established Since 1910: FC St. Pauli

Max Harvey's "Wurst" Journey

"So what made you apply for a job managing this fine club?" Director of Football Peter Knabel asked, leaning back in his chair. He was part of a three man panel, tasked with finding a new manager for the struggling Hamburger SV side. They had interviewed some good candidates, some excellent candidates, but also some terrible candidates. Peter couldn't help but feel that this interview would yield one of the latter.

"I believe they are a great club in an artificial position," answered Max Harvey quietly. Peter nodded and wrote one less than complimentary word down on his notebook so that his two colleagues could see. Max Harvey had spent the interview so far alternating between balls-out bluster and crushing insecurity. He had paired an ill-fitting black suit with a lemon yellow shirt/red tie combo, which didn't help his cause, especially when every so often he gave off a nervous tick. He was in a bad way.

"Well I apologise for bringing it up

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"MAX HARVEY DISAPPEARANCE"

The curious case of Max Harvey has reached an interesting conclusion as the manager has been spotted on a remote Scottish Island. He was last seen in public during his final match in charge of Hamburg side St Pauli against Paderborn. A week later he attended an interview with city neighbours Hamburger SV.

Director of Football Peter Knabel had this to say about the highly unusual interview. "It didn't exactly start well. He had paired an ill-fitting black suit with a lemon yellow shirt/red tie combo, which didn't help his cause, especially when every so often he gave off a nervous tick. He was in a bad way."

"We asked him the usual questions, but we didn't feel he adequately explained what went wrong at St Pauli, and to be honest we were worried about his mental stability. We continue to be."

In the months that followed the fateful interview, Max Harvey completely disappeared, only communicating with family in the interim. Just yesterday though, he was tracked down to a remote Scottish island with a Grizzly Adams style beard. He refused all offers of an interview, and even threatened members of the media who approached. It seems that a return to management is well out of the question.

"A BROTHER'S VENGEANCE?"

The brother of enigmatic ex-manager Max Harvey has taken the first steps into the World of football management. However, where his brother had his career in professional football to fall back on, older brother Andrew hasn't played at a level any higher than Sunday League. He shot to prominence in the past week by applying to a number of available jobs in Scotland, and then being laughed out of every single one of them. Although most would have expected that, Andrew has vowed to be a success to make up for the hardships his brother had to go through. Only time will tell whether or not he will become successful.