You wonderful, wonderful idiot

Hi guys,

I come here today to share my experience with one special player in the Argentine Primera División. His name is Santiago Nagüel, IRL a promising Argentinos youngster but I picked him up on a free after the second year on FM14. He's great for the level, can play across the midfield and as AM on both sides, pacey, creative with a blistering long shot.

But young Santiago does have one achilles heel. His decisions rating is 6, which makes him possibly the most infuriating, unpredictable player I have ever managed. When he gets the ball anything could happen, he can dribble past six players and score a beauty, split the defence open with a killer pass or, most often give the ball away and leave my team horribly exposed to the counter. But it is that unknown factor which makes him so much fun to coach.

Can anyone else out there relate to such a player, who only does the right thing 25% of the time but when he does it's a joy to watch? He consistently averages a seven rating with around 10 goals and 10 assists a year, but I know that if he wasn't such a dummy he could be the best in the world and not slogging away with me in the Primera División's lower midtable

The new Robinho perhaps?

An update, playing a cup game against bitter rivals (one division below) away, 1-0 down with 20 minutes left and knocking hard on the door for equaliser. Wonderful idiot Nagüel dives in the box, gets sent off for 2nd yellow and now hates me for fining him in a fit of anger (game finished 2-0). Great character, I feel like killing him but it's that kind of unique touch which I love about this game!!

What happened to Robinho? :/ Pato? Not sure what people saw in Pato but I did hear during the world cup that he was supposed to become a superstar. Sorry, I've wondered for a while now. From Real Madrid to I have no clue where he plays, and certainly not for the Brazilian national team.

Pato has just gone on loan to Sao Paulo from neighbours Corinthians. His time at the latter was a complete washout, he'll need to show Sao Paulo more if he wants to get his career back on track. Robinho's still kicking around Milan, seen him come off the bench a couple of times for decent run-outs, but nothing particularly sustained.

How do you go from where they were to where they are now? Ronaldinho was the biggest shame. He may have been a truly unique player.

How do you go from where they were to where they are now? Ronaldinho was the biggest shame. He may have been a truly unique player.

Yer, because that Ballon d'Or he won didn't say otherwise, right?

Pato has just gone on loan to Sao Paulo from neighbours Corinthians. His time at the latter was a complete washout, he'll need to show Sao Paulo more if he wants to get his career back on track. Robinho's still kicking around Milan, seen him come off the bench a couple of times for decent run-outs, but nothing particularly sustained.

Robinho's possibly off to the USA.

Milan desperately tried offloading Robinho to Brazil last winter. When they were unable to get him off their wage bill, they decided to extend his contract instead. You'd report it as a bug if it happened in FM.

Fredy Guarin come close to the OPs intention for me.

I tend to play him as an MR, but he tucks inside. When he is in the mood some of his overlapping play is out of this world and he can usually be relied to score a couple of amazing goals each season.

However.

He is the most infuriating player I have ever managed. He will literally shoot from anywhere.

Beaten the fullback with an unmarked forward near the penalty spot? SHOOT!

Received a pass back from the forward who has his back to goal and the defence is deep and packed? SHOOT!

Received the ball on the edge of the box at a very acute angle to the goal? SHOOT!

Generally be in possession of the ball within 30 yards of the goal? SHOOT!

His Shots on Target percentage for the season just finished was 29% and I'm actually shocked it was that high.

Tino Asprilla at Newcastle in the mid-90s is the first name that springs to mind. Utterly unpredictable - must have been equally joyous and frustrating for Toon supporters to watch him at times. His record was 9 goals in 48 league matches, but also 9 goals in 11 European games including a fantastic hat-trick against Barca!

Georgio Kinkladze. formerly of Man City, is an obvious one that springs to mind.

Guarín and Asprilla are great examples of this kind of player. Also think Ángel Di María three years ago, all the talent but 9 times out of 10 the final product would be an awful shot, awful cross or theatrical dive

Milan desperately tried offloading Robinho to Brazil last winter. When they were unable to get him off their wage bill, they decided to extend his contract instead. You'd report it as a bug if it happened in FM.

haha I've tried to do the same thing in FM before too! When taking over a club and there's some chump on enormous wages, sometimes I'll try to offer a contract extension at lower wages to give my wage bill a bit more room. It seldom works

Guarín and Asprilla are great examples of this kind of player. Also think Ángel Di María three years ago, all the talent but 9 times out of 10 the final product would be an awful shot, awful cross or theatrical dive

How about Gervinho?

I have a dude called Mark Quentin in my real-time save. He's a teeny tiny AMC with outlandish dribbling skills. The trouble is, I only play two types of player behind the striker - advanced playmakers or attacking midfielders with big, booming shots. Mark is an outstanding dribbler who contributes nothing in the defensive phase, but give him the ball and a few yards of space and he can scythe through defences with ease. It's exhilarating to watch. The only problem is, once he gets one-on-one with the 'keeper, his finishing is utterly pathetic. He has decent passing stats, but a Plays No Through Balls PPM makes him as useful as a moral compass in a tabloid newsroom. It may be time to part ways with the brilliant, infuriating little ****.

If anyone's ever signed or played Lewis Putman in the regional Skrill leagues, you'll be familiar with what the OP is referring to.

A striker with finishing of 18, but the majority of his other stats are awful. So when the team's playing well and creating chances, he'll bang them in for fun, but in games where you need to grind out results, he's nowhere to be seen. The thing is, because his finishing attribute is so high, you're loathed to drop him for a more all-rounded striker. Very infuriating. Had him in my Bath team, and now I've taken over at Oxford City, I've signed him again! Two goals on his debut, and has been awful in the next two games. Arrrgh.

I had this! Quade Taylor at Exeter. He's a solid Centre-Back for the most part, but he has moments of complete brainfreeze where, if you saw it happen on Fifa 14, you would blame lag. He has an infuriating habit of standing still when lobbed through balls are played by the opposition. And not the good kind of through ball. I mean the "I'm going to launch this hoping the defenders falls over or something" through ball, that even I could head away with ease. This would be great if i was playing the offside trap. But I'm not. So what i get is 3 defenders tracking back but with some pacy striker stood in absolutely acres of space right in the centre with a clear path to goal. I've got all of his player instructions set in a desperate attempt for him to actually try and head away these passes but he simply won't do it. An absolute nightmare to manage but it keeps the game fun i guess!

I had Bebe up front for Tenerife in my first season in the game. Scored a hatful, missed two hatfuls