One of those matches you know you'll inevitably get destroyed after 5 minutes.

Playing Arsenal. They had 8 shots inside 3 minutes, which is how long it took me to realise I had no hope in hell of getting anything from this match. It was like... Spain. But better. Every pass was perfect. They were incredibly fast. They were getting to every ball.

However we scored a lucky own goal to take the lead. Which I knew wouldn't last.

Before I could complete the changes I wanted to make after the goal, they kick-off, pass back to their DMC, who passes it to the ST who then runs 40 yards and smashes it into the opposite top corner in 20 seconds.

Then a bizarre red card to us. My AML had the ball just outside the box, he takes a touch, then for some reason decides not to cross or hold it, then scythes down their right back with a two footed scissor lunge. Straight red. Why. Just why. This could be a massacre. We were barely 25 minutes in.

5 minutes later Wilkshire (32 years old, still worth £6.75m with ridiculous attributres) creams ont into the top corner from 25 yards. Game over. At that point I decided that pulling everyone back was the only hope to avoid a record drubbling. I was playing 4-4-1-0-0

It didn't help that much, so at half time I decided I might as well take off the AMC and just play 5-4-0-0-0. My defensive tactic is well setup to block shots and prevent CCC's, so I was hoping to limit the damage to maybe 5 goals.

Instead my team heroically played with their backs to the wall and didn't concede for all of regular time.

You might think there is a twist in the tale, a david vs goliath last minute winner for the plucky lads from Hastings in their first year in the top flight. But no. We had one decent chance and it fell to my defensive midfielder who tamely shot it at the keeper.

Arsenal finally put the game to bed with the 3rd goal in the 90th minute. I was shocked they didn't hit a half-ton of shots really.

Anyone else been destroyed like this recently?

Newly promoted Southampton vs Man City..

25 shots, 15 on target v 0 shots for me (yep, for the entire 90 minutes)

They ended up winning 4-0 with goals from Aguero, Tevez and Milner.

I ended up drawing 1-1 with Utd in the PL and defeated Chelsea 2-1 in the FA Cup, so it's not all bad

Every time I play Man United and see Rooney and Hernandez up front and Nani on the wing it's game over, those boys tear me a new one every time.

Every time I play Man United and see Rooney and Hernandez up front and Nani on the wing it's game over, those boys tear me a new one every time.

On his day Rooney can beat me single handedly. My tactic tends to be to try and counter attack when a team is that dominant. It sometimes ends very badly but I've squeezed a few good results!

Always seems to be a crap team that decides to 'break the mould' for me. I can sometimes stem the tide until half time and rant at the players and that'll switch things around but... eh.

And Manchester City are woefully inconsistent. I usually have an idea if we'll win or lose based on the opening 20 minutes. They'll either pepper the net with shots or they'll succumb to constant counter attacks. If its the latter then once we go 1-0 up that's it, we're bound to get two or three more goals cos they just collapse.

Arsenal, 16 long shots? Pff, unrealistic!

Loving the 99% passing accuracy in the final third, though, that's just silly.

I just had a friendly game where my CB (in a 3 defender back line, LB-CB-RB) got send off after some 30 seconds. I just wanted to lose my mind on the b******, but it was just a friendly.

.... but it was just a friendly.

Did your CB know that?

It's more of a bogey team kind of issue, but Fulham always wipe the floor with me...usually 3-0, 4-1, but with us barely managing a shot. So much it seems to even be regardless of form or personnel.

(It's obviously something to do with the preferences of Martin Jol exploiting the weaknesses of my tactics)

i'm quite surprised your team only had an average rating of 6.31. looking at the stats for arsesmell, your guys should have been much higher i would have thought. and keeping the CCCs to 5 is really quite good. but just remember a few years ago, CSKA and arsesmell in the CL, arsesmell had like 20+ shots and it finished 0-0 so your result is pretty standard for them.

I've had games like this where I could see I was getting outplayed in the first twenty-five minutes, and that unless they were really unlucky with their finishing, it was going to end up a loss. They're usually away games. I keep thinking to myself that a tactical tweak might turn it around, but I've never quite worked out what's needed.

arsesmell

Seriously? Grow up.

Revenge is sweet

We absolutely destroyed them, my front 4 got in their faces all game, and we were devastating on the counter, two goals came directly from counters on defensive corners, and another was a regular counter.

Was the FA Cup 4th round. City, Chelsea and City all got knocked out in the same round, so that blows the competition wide open.

I find my team plays pretty good when they are the heavy underdogs. I mean ****. Ive beaten the likes of Benefica, Real Madrid, Drew AC Milan, Beat Bayern all games being at home mind you. my highest paid player at 12k, highest value player at 4mil... These are all champions league matches. My guys suprise me a lot.

Papua New Guinea (me) vs the giants of Oceania; New Zealand. The gulf in class is incredible and from the start they score within 30ish seconds and were 4-0 up within half an hour, it ended 7-0.

Played a game where in the first minute, my team had girlfriends and chocolate sauce on their minds other than the game at hand, at half time only one player rated about 6.0, four players rated below 5.0,with one CD having a rating in the 3's. We were 3-0 down, no formation changes made any kind of difference.

Got angry with them at half time, replaced the poorly CD with my up and coming youth with average stats other than quickness.

game finished 4-5 in our favour, no one rated below 6.8 and my striker sub ended with an 8.0!

Though I have had it the other way around to, first half we're in the lead, second half the players are thinking of tea and biscuits, nothing I do will get their minds on the game, so inevitably we get done.

Never know how a game will end up in the first half, but a few minutes in the second, I have a pretty good idea.