Season League Pos Cups Europe Achievements
2012/13 Sc Div 3 1st No comment n/a Manager of the Year
2013/14 Sc Div 2 1st Challenge Cup Finalists n/a Manager of the Year
2014/15 Sc Div 1 3rd CC Winners & SC Final qual None
2015/16 Sc Div 1 2nd CC & SC Winners, LC R/U EC 3Q Manager of the Year
2016/17 Sc Div 1 1st Challenge Cup Winners EC 4Q Manager of the Year
2017/18 Sc Prem 5th LC Final qual None
2018/19 Sc Prem 7th LC Winners EC R2 Manager of the Year
2019/20 Sc Prem 1st SC Winners, LC R/U n/a Manager of the Year
2020/21 Sc Prem 1st SC & LC Winners EC Winners Manager of the Year
We signed Kristian Rowberry
on a free transfer. He'd scored quite few goals for Hearts. I wonder what happened this season when he played for the best team in Scotland and then also signed Claudio Bargas
for a huge fee midway through the season, just to choke those last few gasps of hope from the domestic competition.
We won everything.
Not the Champions League, but finishing third in our group steered us towards the Euro Cup.
– We won with 9 games to go; including a 20 game winning streak which only came to an end when we had a league tie 2 days before a Euro Cup fixture, so I sent out the players who weren’t in our European selection; youngsters, veterans, vetenarians – anybody I could find wandering near the training ground who wasn’t too fat to squeeze themselves into a team jersey. It didn’t matter. By that point my first team (who were constantly in danger of being jaded because of fixture overload) mostly just turned up for the Cups. We were miles ahead at New Year when I splashed out £7.5 mill on a world class goalie. Of course he has spent most of his games with us leaning against his goalposts doing crosswords, but on those rare occasions when, for instance, one of those Glasgow upstart sides had the temerity to actually try a shot on goal, he was usually up to the job.
– I mostly play my reserves in this, but this was the first time they had actually won it. (The previous time we’d won it I’d used my first team).
– We were seeded fourth, so were inevitably in quite a strong group; AC Milan, Lyon and Stuttgart. We were unlucky in our first 3 games, and picked up a single point. We won our next 2 games (this time with a bit of luck on our side) but that meant that we needed to win our final game away to Lyon. With 8 minutes to go it was 1-1, so I decided to send on an extra striker (for a defender). We scored before he could even get on the pitch, but there was no way of cancelling the substitution. I immediately tried to send on an extra defender, but they equalised before I could do that, and then of course I couldn’t cancel that substitution either. Anyway, I wasn’t too disappointed as we stood no chance of winning the Champions league; whereas the Euro Cup? Stranger things have happened!
– We had quite a tough couple of matches in the first knock out round against Shakhtar, but after that Liverpool, Saint-Etienne and Aston Villa didn’t pose us a lot of problems. Villa were the only one we didn’t beat in both matches, (a 2-2 away draw at their gaff).
In the Final against Feyenoord was a bit tougher, chiefly because 6 of our top 7 strikers either were injured or hadn’t been chosen for the European squad. The one remaining striker scored the only goal of the match, after which we shut up shop. Job done! Quite nice, because I really doubt we’ll ever have another Euro Cup fixture.
- The final match of the season. I collected the first team from the pub where they had been celebrating the Euro Cup win for the last few days to deal with the formality of beating Dundee Utd ion the final. In the first half it looked as though I should have taken a more disciplined approach and we went in at half time 1-0 down. I sent on my start striker, Kristin Rowberry, who had the day before started training after a fairly long-term injury, and he scored straight away. Good job too because by the time he’d finished celebrating his goal he was the most knackered player on the pitch. The rest of the lads finished Utd off though 2-1.
So look guys – we win a lot of cups. 14 cup finals in the last 7 seasons. I promise you, I don’t cheat or reload. The thing is that I save the really inspirational team talks for the big matches – like cups. I don’t know if that’s manipulating the game code. I think that’s what a real manager would do. The fact is that my teams in this save have just been really good at cups, and if I see in a scouting report that a player doesn’t like big matches I might shy away. Also I like my players to have very high determination. After all, I have to buy them when all they have is potential which I need them to realise.
Things seem to have moved on quickly in just a couple of seasons. 2 years ago we managed to end up in 7th
. Next season I will be surprised if any Scottish team beats us in any competition. We’d only lost 1 domestic game all season before I started rotating the squad in the final couple of games.
The question is, how will we do in the Champions League next season? Are we good enough already, or will we get our butts kicked. In reality our Champions League group was comparatively easy this year. It just wasn’t easy enough for us.
Anyway, we’re having a new stadium built. It’s not going to be named after me. The key question is where will it be; Stenhousemuir or Falkirk? It doesn’t matter. Either way those gullible South Americans will believe me when I show them pictures of sun-drenched beaches packed with beautiful women, and tell them that’s where we’re from.