SPORTS.tv presents: Top2Bottom (FM11)

[MacLovin]

Suspense is killing me.

[Greasy Chip Butty]

PRE SEASON REPORT: KUDA LAUT GEMILANG (jayatsena)

MANAGER: Roy Hodgson
CHAIRMAN: Be Jayatsena
DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Porto 2-0 Kuda Laut Gemilang
Benfica 1-1 Kuda Laut Gemilang
Leiria 3-2 Kuda Laut Gemilang
Inverness Caledonian Thistle 2-0 Kuda Laut Gemilang
MK Dons 2-1 Kuda Laut Gemilang
AC Milan 0-2 Kuda Laut Gemilang
Catania 1-1 Kuda Laut Gemilang

TRANSFERS

None

An uninspiring pre season campaign for Kuda Laut Gemilang and their manager Roy Hodgson with just one win from seven games although that bizarrely came against AC Milan. Kuda Laut Gemilang have made no signings yet this summer and their fans will be hoping for a couple of additions before the end of the transfer window with a goalkeeper and striker looking like the priority. Whilst the defence should be solid with Phil Neville and David Luiz protected further by Nigel De Jong, the creative aspects of Samir Nasri, Thomas Muller and Antonio Cassano’s games could be enhanced with an out and out goalscorer – unfortunately, Danny Graham, Nikola Kalinic and Kris Boyd are unlikely to be that man! Kuda Laut look set for a season of mid table mediocrity unless the manager splashes some cash over the coming weeks.

LIKELY 11: Schwarzer, Neville, Balzaretti, David Luiz, Dunne, De Jong, Jeffren, Muller, Nasri, Cassano, Boyd


predicts ...

10th

[Greasy Chip Butty]

PRE SEASON REPORT: NEW BLOC (bergtaur)

MANAGER: Chris Hughton
CHAIRMAN: Hryhorii Zahorchak
DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Morecambe 2-0 New Bloc
Brentford 2-2 New Bloc
Hearts 3-1 New Bloc
Osasuna 2-1 New Bloc

TRANSFERS

Juanlu (Season Loan, Levante)
Aliaksandr Yurevich (£400K, BATE)
Arsenio Valpoort (£1.9m, Heerenveen)
David Barral (Season Loan, Sporting Gijon)
Ouasim Bouy (£1.3m, Ajax)
Pavle Ninkov (£2m, Red Star)

A worrying pre season for New Bloc fans as Chris Hughton – hailed as a football management genius by some since his spell at Newcastle – offers little evidence that New Bloc can compete for the title this season. The Bloc have made six new signings and have by far the largest squad in the Premier League which means they should have the depth needed to be secure this season but they maybe need an extra bit of quality if they are going to challenge for anything but top half. The likes of Rio Ferdinand, Darijo Srna, Andrey Arshavin and Andres Iniesta will certainly be hoping for a top rate striker to join the club to partner Andy Carroll and guarantee the goals needed.

LIKELY 11: Jaaskelainen, Srna, Criscito, Godin, Ferdinand, Sidwell, Jonas, Iniesta, Arshavin, Carroll, Zamora


predicts ...

8th

[Greasy Chip Butty]

PRE SEASON REPORT: FC REAL CLIFTON (Nottingham Forest)

MANAGER: Roberto Martinez
CHAIRMAN: David Matthews
DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Burton Albion 2-2 Real Clifton
Auxerre 0-2 Real Clifton
Olympique Lyonnais 0-0 Real Clifton
Watford 0-2 Real Clifton
Northampton Town 0-0 Real Clifton
Inverness Caledonian Thistle 1-1 Real Clifton
Real Betis 1-3 Real Clifton

TRANSFERS

Jadson (£6.5m, Shakhtar Donetsk)
Sylvain Distin (Free)
Joseph Yobo (Free)

Some clever signings from manager Roberto Martinez to bolster the Real Clifton side through pre season as he brings in solid and dependable Premier League defenders for free as well as highly rated attacking Brazilian midfielder at a snip at £6.5m. An unbeaten pre-season can only help to excite the fans further with a strong defence evident as they conceded just 4 goals in 7 games. With Yobo and Distin joining the likes of John Terry, Eric Abidal and Patrice Evra, you can see why their defensive record is good. Xabi Alonso and Rafael Van Der Vaart, as well as Jadson, will pull the strings in midfield but if there is a question mark over Real Clifton, it is up front. Can Roman Pavlyuchenko, Federico Macheda and Andre-Pierre Gignac score the goals they need to deliver silverware?

LIKELY 11: Neuer, Johnson, Evra, Terry, Yobo, Xabi Alonso, Hernandez, Jadson, Van Der Vaart, Pavlyuchenko, Gignac


predicts ...

3rd

[Greasy Chip Butty]

PRE SEASON REPORT: RUSHDEN PHOENIX (Sheriff 1993)

MANAGER: Owen Coyle
CHAIRMAN: T. H. E. Sheriff
DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Besiktas 2-2 Rushden Phoenix
Genclerbigini 1-3 Rushden Phoenix
Bucaspor 1-1 Rushden Phoenix
Huddersfield Town 1-0 Rushden Phoenix
Tranmere Rovers 0-1 Rushden Phoenix
Fiorentina 2-0 Rushden Phoenix
Crusaders 0-3 Rushden Phoenix

TRANSFERS

Leon Osman (Free)
Imanol Agirretxe (Season Loan, Real Sociedad)

A decent pre season for Owen Coyle’s men as they prepare for life in the Premier League with three wins and two draws. The signing of Leon Osman is a good, sensible signing to bolster the midfield with young striker Imanol Agirretxe also looking to make an impact this season. Kasper Schmeichel and Joe Hart resume their battle for the Number 1 shirt – from their Manchester City days – but the defence in front of the chosen one looks poor with Roger Johnson and Laurent Koscielny likely to start in the centre. Strengthening in the defence should ensure survival for Phoenix who have the forwards to get the goals needed in Vagner Love and Emmanuel Adebayor. However, the goals they are likely to concede could see them sucked into a scrap at the bottom.

LIKELY 11: Hart, Ferreira, Tremoulinas, Johnson, Koscielny, Schweinsteiger, Pedro, Mikel, Arteta, Adebayor, Vagner Love


predicts ...

15th

[Greasy Chip Butty]

PRE SEASON REPORT: SHAKHTAR SENSELESS (arkitekt)

MANAGER: Sir Alex Ferguson
CHAIRMAN: Ashley Teagle
DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Estidiantes Tecos 1-1 Shakhtar Senseless
Bristol Rovers 0-0 Shakhtar Senseless
Gillingham 1-1 Shakhtar Senseless
Deportivo 0-3 Shakhtar Senseless
Fiorentina 2-3 Shakhtar Senseless
Inter Milan 3-1 Shakhtar Senseless
Frosinone vs. Shakhtar Senseless

TRANSFERS

No signings as yet from Sir Alex as he seems content with his squad who had a decent pre season and remained unbeaten until their latest game with Inter Milan. Senseless showed that they can compete with some of the big European names in pre season and will be hoping to get off to a good start to their season. The squad is small but well balanced although the argument would be for an out and out goalscorer to complement the undoubted talents of the gifted but versatile Pato, Robinho and Lisandro Lopez. If a goalscorer can be added, Senseless should have no trouble steering clear of the scrap at the bottom and could be a darkhorse to challenge higher with luck.

LIKELY 11: Gomes, Carr, Jose Enrique, Mertesacker, Ricardo Carvalho, Rodwell, Lennon, Xavi, Lisandro Lopez, Pato, Robinho


predicts ...

13th

[Greasy Chip Butty]

PRE SEASON REPORT: SHIRE FC (Almondo)

MANAGER: Roy Keane
CHAIRMAN: Frodo Baggins
DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Beskitas 3-0 Shire FC
Ajax 0-2 Shire FC
Crawley 1-4 Shire FC
Chievo 3-2 Shire FC
Tenerife 0-2 Shire FC

TRANSFERS

Rigobert Song (£40K, Pantheres FC)
Matias Almeyda (£210K, River Plate)
Mathieu Debuchy (£5.5m, Lille)
Ognjen Vukojevic (£12.25m, Dynamo Kiev)

Roy Keane’s Hobbits managed to come out of pre season with a set of good results – barring the first one – and can be confident of building on that with the arrival of French right back Mathieu Debuchy and Croatian midfielder Ognjen Vukojevic over the summer. A squad with depth, Shire FC could be a team to watch this season with potential to go either way depending on how the new signings settle and how the early momentum goes. Lee Camp will start in goal and he has Premier League experience ahead of him in Wayne Bridge, Chris Samba and former Liverpool defender Rigobert Song as well as Walter Samuel and Gabriel Milito, the Argentinian pair, joining the club as well. If the midfield can step up and create chances, there is every chance that the likes of Goran Pandev, Gabby Agbonlahor, Bojan and Louis Saha could score the goals. However, this will only happen if they are created the chances in the first place!

LIKELY 11: Camp, Debuchy, Bridge, Samuel, Milito, Vukojevic, Malbranque, Thiago Motta, Stanislas, Pandev, Saha


predicts ...

12th

[Greasy Chip Butty]

PRE SEASON REPORT: SOLENT GALAXY (MacLovin)

MANAGER: Mick McCarthy
CHAIRMAN: Doctor Jenson Button
DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Southend United 3-0 Solent Galaxy
America (MEX) 2-0 Solent Galaxy
Barcelona 2-1 Solent Galaxy
Dundee United 1-1 Solent Galaxy
Villarreal 0-1 Solent Galaxy
Racing Santander 1-1 Solent Galaxy

TRANSFERS

Atila Turan (£3.2m, GF 38)
Arturo Vidal (£15.5m, Leverkusen)
Marcus Hahnemann (Free)

A dreadful start to pre season improved in the end but the lack of goals will be a worry to Galaxy manager Mick McCarthy ahead of the new Premier League season. The signing of Chilean midfielder Arturo Vidal for a massive £15.5m may help Galaxy to cure this problem in the long run but he will need time to settle in. The rest of the squad holds flashes of quality but there are several problems: Gianluigi Buffon is a fine keeper but he is regularly injured; Jeremy Toulalan is a quality midfielder but is likely to compete with Vidal for a place at times; Ryan Giggs’ legs have almost gone; Dimitar Berbatov and Nikola Zigic are – on their day – capable of causing massive problems for defenders but they both have too many off days. Much will depend on the management of Mick McCarthy if Solent Galaxy are to avoid a scrap at the foot of the table.

LIKELY 11: Buffon, Rangel, Turan, Lucio, Olsson, Toulalan, Hoilett, Vidal, Duff, Berbatov, Zigic


predicts ...

18th

[Greasy Chip Butty]

PRE SEASON REPORT: SOUTHSEA ATHLETIC (Dave.)

MANAGER: Mark Hughes
CHAIRMAN: Dave Farrow
DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Chesterfield 0-2 Southsea Athletic
FC Groningen 3-0 Southsea Athletic
Nancy-Lorraine 3-3 Southsea Athletic
Banfield 3-2 Southsea Athletic
Brentford 2-0 Southsea Athletic
Atletico Madrid 3-1 Southsea Athletic
Inverness Caledonian Thistle 0-1 Southsea Athletic

TRANSFERS

Angelo Palombo (£18.5m, Sampdoria)
Bryan Ruiz (£16.75m, FC Twente)
Erik Pieters (£4.2m, PSV)
Delvin Ndinga (£4.9m, Auxerre)

Don’t be fooled by their pre season results, Southsea Athletic have a quality squad and could easily be a contender at the top of the Premier League this season. With Mark Hughes splashing the cash on four new signings totalling over £40m – and with more to come it seems – it will take time for the side to gel. If they gel quickly, the title could head for Southsea this season. The dependable Shay Given will be protected by a defence that probably needs strengthening if it is to win the league. However, the likes of Mathieu Valbuena, Wesley Sneijder, Joe Cole, Angelo Palombo and Fernando Torres ahead of them should guarantee goals and should fire them up the table. Can Southsea Athletic win the Premier League? They could do!

LIKELY 11: Given, Corluka, Pieters, Mensah, Mbia, Palombo, Valbuena, Sneijder, Ruiz, Torres, Ameobi


predicts ...

4th

[Greasy Chip Butty]

PRE SEASON REPORT: STRATFORD RANGERS (cookie15)

MANAGER: Gianfranco Zola
CHAIRMAN: William Shakespeare
DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Basel 1-0 Stratford Rangers
Leverkusen 0-2 Stratford Rangers
Barnet 1-1 Stratford Rangers
Distillery 0-2 Stratford Rangers
Hamilton 1-1 Stratford Rangers
Atletico Madrid 0-1 Stratford Rangers
Almeria 3-1 Stratford Rangers

TRANSFERS

Joey Barton (Free)
Diego Tardelli (£13.25m, Atletico Mineiro)
Thomas Kahlenberg (£7m, Wolfsburg)
Razvan Rat (£3.2m, Shakhtar Donetsk)

Stratford Rangers have prepared for a Premier League and Champions League campaign by assembling a talented squad and manager Gianfranco Zola has added to that intelligently over the summer with the arrival of four good players. Much will depend on the management of Zola this season who remains relatively inexperienced: SPORTS.tv believe that if Zola can get the best out of his squad, they could be the team to beat this season and we predict that they will be champions in May. A backup keeper for Ben Foster is needed but a solid defence is in place with Dani Alves and Thomas Vermaelen part of it. The addition of Barton is clever – he has things to prove – whilst the exciting young wingers Adam Johnson and David Silva should supply chances galore for the strikers. Brazilian Diego Tardelli is Zola’s big signing and is relatively unknown in England but if he can profit from these chances – and he is capable of doing so – then Stratford Rangers could well be heading for the Premier League title this season.

LIKELY 11: Foster, Dani Alves, Rat, Dawson, Vermaelen, Kallstrom, Johnson, Kahlenberg, David Silva, Gyan, Diego Tardelli


predicts ...

CHAMPIONS!

[Greasy Chip Butty]

PRE SEASON REPORT: WOOTTON WANDERERS (AidanofLFC)

MANAGER: Paul Lambert
CHAIRMAN: Aidan Liverpool
DIVISION: Barclays Premier League

PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Schalke 3-0 Wootton Wanderers
PAOK 3-0 Wootton Wanderers
Yeovil Town 3-0 Wootton Wanderers
Brighton 1-2 Wootton Wanderers
Doncaster 1-2 Wootton Wanderers

TRANSFERS

Benoit Pedretti (£11m, Auxerre)

A very strange situation at Wootton Wanderers who – despite the good signing of French midfielder Benoit Pedretti – have the smallest squad in the league with just fourteen senior players. Bizarrely, two of these players – John Bostock and Gabriel Obertan – have been made available for loan by manager Paul Lambert and Edwin Van Der Sar has decided to retire at the end of the season. Going forward, if they can stay fit and healthy, the likes of Maxi Rodriguez, Mesut Ozil, Lukas Podolski and John Carew should lead to goals but the lack of defenders is staggering with just Younes Kaboul, Marc Muniesa and Julien Faubert and no recognised left back. Reliance on youth is almost guaranteed to backfire as the quality is simply not there. If manager Paul Lambert doesn’t act before the deadline, there is only one way that Wootton Wanderers are heading.

LIKELY 11: Van Der Sar, Faubert, ?????, Kaboul, Muniesa, Pedretti, Maxi Rodriguez, Ozil, Podolski, Carew, Vela


predicts ...

19th

[Greasy Chip Butty]

FINAL PREMIER LEAGUE TABLE PREDICTION

1. Stratford Rangers
----------------------------------------------
2. Darlington All Stars
3. Real Clifton
4. Southsea Athletic
----------------------------------------------
5. FC Freljord
----------------------------------------------
6. AFC Slough
7. Discworld
8. New Bloc
9. Dockland South
10. Kuda Laut Gemilang
11. Calvary FC
12. Shire FC
13. Shakhtar Senseless
14. Essendon
15. Rushden Phoenix
16. Capite Ad Calcem
17. Chelsea Australia
----------------------------------------------
18. Solent Galaxy
19. Wootton Wanderers
20. Emurica FC

[Greasy Chip Butty]

What do you all think then?

Let's have some media releases from your clubs - see the old T2B threads for what kind of stuff we've had before.

http://s701.photobucket.com/albums/w...20FM11/Badges/ ---- this is the album for badges. Just copy the IMG code of your badge from there and paste it into a post here and it will show.

Same with kits, the album for those is here: http://s701.photobucket.com/albums/w...m%20FM11/Kits/

You need to introduce your teams and squads and manager and chairman etc ...

[Nottingham Forest]

I'd be happy with third. Jadson . I need a back up keeper . Got 5 strikers now and about 5 central defenders.

[MattieCoopz]

Fareham Fallguys - A Background & Introduction by Marcus Mann

Welcome all, to this press conference and may I extend my thanks to the many of you that have attended today on what could well be an exciting and successful season ahead for the Fareham Fallguys players, staff and the fans, that will pack out the Creekside Arena each and every week.

If I am not known already, I am Marcus Mann and this is my club, I certainly may not be the richest around or the best equipped to compete in the Premier League as of yet, but it is certainly an honour for another club from the South Coast to be concieved at such short notice and have such an amazing opportunity to be promoted to the big leagues.

By now, you are probably anxious to know why we are standing in the centre circle under sunny Southern skies today and without further ado I would like to introduce our manager for the forseeable future, Roberto Di Matteo, the team assembled through my own doing along with this season's home and away kits, sponsored by Magners Irish Cider, now available for purchase from the Club Megastore.

You may now take this opportunity to take photographs of me and the manager and the players. Here they are: Simon Mignolet, Chris Kirkland, Harry Steele, Rafael, Pablo Zabaleta, Brede Hangeland, Manuel Da Costa, Sebastien Bassong, Paul Robinson, Gael Givet, Milos Krasic, Chung Yong Lee, Yaya Toure, Thomas Hitzlsperger, Tim Cahill, Ramires, Charles N'Zogbia, Matty Etherington, Samuel Eto'o, Shane Long, Franco Di Santo and lastly, Danny Welbeck.

Big smiles gents, this team and its staff will form another footballing dynasty here and we certainly have the right types of characters to take them there. Now with that concludes the presentation and there will be no further questions, however I will leave the media with a few choice words.

"A lie has speed, but truth has endurance." Famous words by the author Edgar J. Mohn, will be one of the cornerstones of this club, honesty. We shall never fall short of this goal, we shall never fall short of the desire to play clean football which is also pleasing to the eye and we shall never ever fall short of holding true to the laws of this beautiful game.

Thank you for your time. That will be all.

[MacLovin]

The Southern Galactico's

The high-end glitzy Hollywood-esque club in the South. Here we have the club that every Movie stars, Rock stars, Kings and Queens want to be associated with, Solent Galaxy are the cream, the diamond in the rough, the cherry on top. The stadium has a cushion on every seat for the highly esteemed crowd to watch the eloquent ballet on the field.

Dr Jenson Button has pumped hard earned cash, diamonds and gold into the club to make it a brand and with big sponsers from Apple the stature of the club will continue to grow.

The main core of supporters of the Solent Galaxy is the Galaxy Army. Its members are known for their loud, enthusiastic support and the raucous atmosphere they create at Solent games. The group began congregating in section known as the Gemstone to create a Balkan-style rooting section for the club, complete with drumming, flags, scarves, smoke bombs and constant chanting and cheering.

With a poor pre-season and a lack of global superstar signings how long will it be before the Glitz and Glamour leave the Hollywood of the UK, Solent Galaxy.

[Sheriff 1993]

The Rise of Rushden Phoenix

To be announced (when my computer starts working again...) which is right now...

Back when football wasn't all about the money, 3 brothers - Tommy, Harry and Eddie Sheriff were just supporters of the beautiful game. However they had a secret - They were members of the crime syndicate - The Phoenix 8. In Spring 2009 Phoenix 8 disbanded after completing an Oceans 11 style bank robbery where they successfully robbed Sheikh Mansour El Amir - previously valued in the multi billions. However the Sheikh didn't take this lying down when he started 'eliminating' members of The Phoenix. By The winter 5 of the orignal 8 were presumed dead, only the Sheriff brothers remained. Before the Sheikh could catch them they too vanished and were also presumed dead. When the Top2Bottom Premier Division was announced a mysterious new businessman named T.H.E Sheriff, who claimed to be no relation, stated his interest in forming a team - based on his favourite team Rushden and Diamonds after their chairman had refused to sell the club to him. The new team was named the Rushden Phoenix claiming to have been born from the ashes. The club managed to sign a variety of talented international stars such as England goalkeeper Joe Hart and Togo Striker Emmanuel Adebayor. Sheriff managed to get Owen Coyle to lead the club in there debut season which see's them entered in the European Champions League, no financial bribe was paid...apparently. Predicted to finish in the bottom half of the new table The Phoenix will be hoping that that their European exploits will help them attract new players to their growing francise and hope to build on a decent pre-season.

[Dave.]

Southsea Athletic - A brief statement

Southsea Athletic have announced that they are pleased with the prediction that they will qualify for next season's Champions League by finishing fourth. However, they feel that they should be able to do even better, and challenge for the title. The club's owner, Dave Farrow, has praised manager Mark Hughes, in both the work he's done in the transfer market, and on the training pitch. The club cannot wait for the season to begin.

[William Hall]

A brief statement from Chairman William Hall
Welcome to all the fans of Chelsea Australia Football Club, we are going to qualify for the Europa League under our brilliant manager Ian Holloway. We have world-class players available in the key areas of defense and midfield with Julio Cesar, Sergio Ramos and Cesc Fabregas. We also have world-class winger Angel Di Maria which will help our attack. At the start of the season I was worried about our attacking quality but my manager Ian Holloway assured me that he will use similar attacking strategies as he has with Blackpool and with world class defensive players such as Julio Cesar and Sergio Ramos defense will not be a problem. Australia we are going to see European football, if we don't Ian Holloway will be sacked immediately.

Manager Ian Holloway

[toonbalmy87]

Good evening & and Welcome to the greatest club in Darlington (not the noisy neighbor) i will show you around the stadium and introduce you to the Manager and the Team.

So onwards to the Vip box as you can see from looking around the stadium there was no expense spared but it was still cheaper than Wembley and i have to say my self that this stadium is beautiful it has everything it has Art ,Architecture and most important it is the home of Football.


Feet clacking along the corridors

Right now we are at the Managers office (Knock Knock)
Eddie:Come in!!
We are not disturbing you are we Eddie

Eddie:No No just on the phone to agents
Ok still looking for that Striker and Defender we were taliking about
Eddie:yes
Ok.
Ladies and gentleman i would like to introduce you to Eddie Howe the Manager of now and the future we hope he can fulfill our Expectations of him but if he cant we will give him time in the hotseat there will be no sackings after 3 months thats what i can assur you and the fans. Eddie could you take us to the gym where the players have gathered to take there fitness test.
Eddie: Certainly
And here is the team
Victor Valdes, Naughton, Cissokho, Raul Albiol, Smalling, Fellaini, Ronaldo, Lampard, Malouda, Vucinic, Defoe
As you can see this squad has been put together to win Championships and to win them now and one will stand no not Fat Frank Cristiano Ronaldo in my view the best player on the planet and it is a very attacking team with goals coming from all over the pitch we hope to hit the ground running and win the Premiership well that's all the time i have so bye bye and see you all again soon.

[jayatsena]

A Brief Statement from Be Jayatsena

To all football lovers around the world. I am glad to announce the revival of beautiful football in the form of Kuda Laut Gemilang whose led by Roy Hodgson, with all of his experience, and with the main players like David Luiz, Nigel de Jong, Samir Nasri, Muller, and Antonio Cassano.

Roy would also be supported to strengthening the squad with whoever he thinks it fit. A hefty transfer budget are ready to be used on the transfer market.

[Almondo]

A brief statement from Shire FC chairman Frodo Baggins

We are pleased to have been offered the chance to be in the reformed Premier League and although we have been predicted to finish 12th in the League this I assure all fans of Shire FC that we will be fighting to beat that prediction. We have a fairly well experienced squad with players such as Gabriel Milito, Walter Samuel, Thiago Motta and Goran Pandev in the squad as well as Agbonlahor , Camp and Louis Saha. Also as has been evident in his dealings in the transfer market Manager Roy Keane has money to spend and will be free to sign any players that he feels will be good for the team.

[jimbowmanuk]

[IMG][/IMG]

Season Expectations from Chairman Ernst Scaramanga

The Media have predicted us to finish 5th in the Championship but I am fully confident that Alex McLeish can get automatic promotion to the Premier Division, He assured my personal assisstants, Odd-Job and Nik-Nak, that anything less than Promotion would be considered a failure. With a Staunch defence and one of the best Goalkeepers in the world we should have an excellent defensive record come the end of the season, and the Midfielders will be doing there upmost to help the younger inexperienced strikers find the net on a regular basis. Alex knows he has all my support and I have given him a very healthy transfer kitty, he informed me that he would only buy the right players at the right time and would not be forced into making rash purchases based on pre-season friendlies.

[jimbowmanuk]

GCB any chance of releasing the database, I'd like to give this a shot myself?

[Nottingham Forest]

Here today I stand before you, as the chairman, founder and owner of FC Real Clifton. My name is David Matthews and whilst I don't have alot of funds to compete with the best, I do have character and good youth academy. We will be focusing on youth players and Roberto Martinez knows this. He was my first choice as manager and he will be that for a long time to come. We have a new squad this season which sees some top quality players join the club. Our media prediction of third is certainly one of surprise, not because we aren't a good side but we feel we can compete for the title and sould be predicted to finish first.

[Greasy Chip Butty]

GCB any chance of releasing the database, I'd like to give this a shot myself?

The issue with that would be that you'd be able to see what would likely happen before the season is done. I might release the database at some point in the future but not yet. GCB

[glennuk]

CALVARY F.C.
(glennuk)




- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Press Statement

Calvary FC would like to announce that they are happy to be joining the league.
Although Pre-Season was not the greatest of times for the club it is obvious that we have assembled a strong squad of players, and even though there has been a significant lack of new signings for the club since Martin O'Neil has taken charge this is by no means a sign of the clubs policy.
If O'Neil has taken this approach it shows that he has faith in the current staff at the club.
It is obvious that the Media have understated the club with a lowly predicition. However this will give the Manager, Players and Club as a whole the opportunity to perform without pressure.

Expect big things from the White of Calvary and don't be surprised if next year Champions League football returns to the club.

[Greasy Chip Butty]

Am having issues with the Europa League. For some reason, since I tested it, it gets to the Fourth Qualifying Round and doesn't go no further. Hmm. It did before. I'm not restarting again so we'll have to see what happens with it. I'll have a look on FMRTE and see if I can change anything there but if not, we'll go without Europa League. Apologies to the teams who are supposed to be in it but I've done all the previews now so not restarting.

Obviously, the fact that I've noticed that tells you that I am busy with something ... Updates should follow later!

GCB

[Greasy Chip Butty]

Saturday August 7th, 2010


FIRST DAY OF THE FOOTBALL LEAGUE SEASON!
How will the 8 new sides fare in the Championship?

After weeks and weeks of waiting, the 2010-2011 Football League season finally kicked off this afternoon with a full programme of games scheduled for the Championship today. We’ve got the game between two of the newcomers, Saku FC and Ruff FC, live on SPORTS.tv later today but we start with a round-up of all the action involving the other six new T2B sides as they kicked off their lives in the Championship with all six of them facing tricky away trips to begin.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Bristol City vs. Horden All Stars
Ashton Gate

A dominant display from the Horden All Stars who had 19 shots on goal in comparison to the hosts 3 but a man of the match display from Robins’ keeper Dean Gerken limited them to just the one goal. That goal followed a goalless first half and arrived in the 58th minute as Boyata’s powerful forward header dropped into the path of DIEGO MILITO who powered past the defenders and deftly lobbed Gerken with the ball clipping the underside of the bar as it just dropped over the line. All Stars had several good chances to extend their lead but failed and they were made to pay with just seven minutes remaining. Maicon, Antonio Valencia and Dedryck Boyata all failed to stop Brett Pitman getting to the byline and his low cross was met by the sliding NICKY HUNT who turned the ball home at the far post. Plenty of positives for the Horden All Stars who deserved the three points but they will be disappointed to have conceded the late equaliser.

Bristol City 1
(Hunt 83)
Horden All Stars 1
(Milito 58)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Derby County vs. A1 FC
Pride Park

Another side dominating the play away from home were A1 FC who outplayed Derby County at Pride Park after a terrible start. In just the 4th minute of the match, the home side shocked the large away following of A1 when following a one-two with Brayford, LUKE VARNEY coolly kept his composure and drilled the ball past Tim Howard and into the far corner. A shocking start to the season for A1 FC but they rallied to dominate the game from that moment but were frustrated to still be behind at half time. As the second half wore on, the desperation grew but A1 FC finally got themselves level on 68 minutes. Maynor Figueroa and Gareth Bale combined on the left, Figueroa floated a delicious ball over and YOANN GOURCUFF met the ball from six yards and guided it home to level the game. That was how it stayed and A1 FC begin with a point away from home.

Derby County 1
(Varney 4)
A1 FC 1
(Gourcuff 68)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hull City vs. Lowen United
KC Stadium

A goalless first half at the KC Stadium with both sides cancelling each other out in a tight contest but the second half came to life after just 8 minutes of play as Lowen United managed to take the lead. A poor clearance from Liam Cooper for the Tigers hit Robert Koren in the head and Alan Tate was beaten to the ball by JUAN MANUEL MATA and the winger outpaced the defender before smashing hard and low past Matt Duke to make it 1-0 to the visitors. However, it took just 10 minutes for the Tigers to respond with an equaliser. Robert Koren lofted a glorious ball forward for Richard Garcia to run onto and his shot was blocked well by Petr Cech before running straight into the path of MATTY FRYATT who guided the ball into the empty net to the delight of the home fans. Both sides threw everything at each other from that point looking for the winner and it came with 7 minutes left. Loic Remy attacked down the right for Lowen United, his cross was flicked clear by Koren and it ran to SULLEY MUNTARI who controlled and then fired home into the top corner from 25 yards to secure three points for Lowen United on the opening day!

Hull City 1
(Fryatt 63)
Lowen United 2
(Mata 53, Muntari 83)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Leicester City vs. Dustbin Rovers
Walkers Stadium

Almost 32000 at the Walkers Stadium to see the Foxes face the Binmen on the opening day of the season in another tight game in the Championship. Things started well for the newcomers of Dustbin Rovers on 37 minutes when they went in front. Ben Arfa found David Villa who looked to be tripped in the box. However, the referee held on and allowed Peter Whittingham to cross low and he found SESSEGNON who guided into the corner with his left foot to make it 1-0 to the visitors. Leicester City were level by half time though as Jermaine Pennant’s left wing free kick wasn’t cleared properly and SCOTT SINCLAIR managed to turn the ball goalwards and into the corner to make it 1-1 at half time. Things stayed level until the winner arrived 3 minutes from time and it was a dreadfully unlucky goal to concede. Paul Gallagher skipped clear of the Rovers defence and looked to be in for a shot, James Collins made a superb last ditch tackle but the ball ran perfectly into the path of STEVE HOWARD and he had the easy task of sliding the ball into the empty net to give the Foxes an opening day victory.

Leicester City 2
(Sinclair 43, Howard 87)
Dustbin Rovers 1
(Sessegnon 37)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Preston North End vs. Fareham Fallguys
Deepdale

Fareham Fallguys manager Roberto Di Matteo declared himself extremely frustrated after this result which in no way reflected the dominance of the visitors to Deepdale. Preston North End struck first with an early goal after just 4 minutes to take the lead as Taylor’s corner was not cleared properly and fell at the feet of PAUL HAYES three yards out to bundle over the line. Di Matteo is definitely set to be unhappy with the slow start to both halves as Preston extended their lead just 6 minutes after half time; he will also be unhappy with the referee. A long, hopeful ball forward by Calum Davidson was picked up by defender Paul Robinson who appeared to be tripped as he tried to clear but the referee allowed NATHAN ELLINGTON to play on and he drove past Kirkland to put North End 2-0 up. Fallguys dominance finally paid off on 61 minutes as Krasic’s corner from the right was headed home at the near post by SEBASTIEN BASSONG and it seemed a matter of time before the equaliser arrived. However, Preston shocked the visitors again as Taylor’s corner was headed home at the far post by SEAN ST. LEDGER highlighting issues at the back for Di Matteo to work on.

Preston North End 3
(Hayes 4, Ellington 51, St. Ledger 70)
Fareham Fallguys 1
(Bassong 61)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Sheffield United vs. Darlington Rangers
Bramall Lane

An even game at Bramall Lane in front of over 32,000 fans which provided excitement right until the final whistle as both sides went in search of a morale boosting opening day win. The Blades were in front on 36 minutes as winger MARK GOWER stepped up and curled a beautiful free kick over the wall and into the top corner of Matej Delac’s goal from 25 yards but by half time, Darlington Rangers were level. Tom Huddlestone played the ball forward, SERGIO AGUERO outpaced the defence and rounded Steve Simonsen before sliding the ball into the empty net to make it 1-1 at the break. It was Rangers who took the lead just after the hour as well with their second goal. Luke Modric curled over a delightful free kick and HUDDLESTONE climbed highest to nod past Simonsen for 2-1. Rangers looked to hold out and were on their way to doing so when disaster struck 5 minutes from time. Montgomery found STEPHEN QUINN 25 yards from goal and he curled past Delac perfectly to level the game at 2-2. However, deep in injury time, there was more to come with a winning goal for Rangers. Huddlestone’s 25 yard piledriver was blocked by Simonsen but it feel at the feet of SERGIO AGUERO who does not miss from six yards out and he ensured that Rangers would take 3 points from Bramall Lane on the opening day!

Sheffield United 2
(Gower 36, Quinn 85)
Darlington Rangers 3
(Aguero 43, 90+2, Huddlestone 68)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

OTHER RESULTS:

Doncaster Rovers 1–0 Crystal Palace
Middlesbrough 2–2 Barnsley
Millwall 1–1 Coventry City
Portsmouth 1–1 Ipswich Town
Scunthorpe United 0-1 Watford

[Greasy Chip Butty]

nPOWER CHAMPIONSHIP
Saturday August 7th, 2010, Saku Arena

----------

SAKU FC
vs.
RUFF FC

Welcome to the Saku Arena for the opening live game of the nPower Championship season as two of the big gun newcomers, Saku FC and Ruff FC, meet looking for victory on the opening day of the season. Carlo Ancelotti has yet to make a new signing during the summer preferring to stick to the squad of players that he has inherited from the chairman, Oskar Henno. It’s a similar story for Ruff FC and their new manager, Avram Grant, with both former Chelsea managers happy to go with what they have. Three points on the first day of the season is always a good feeling so which of these two will get the win today? Let’s find out the players that will be lining up today ...

SAKU FC (41212): Friedel, Arbeloa, Warnock, Skrtel, Bruma, Sandro, Essien, Keita, Ribery, Young, Suarez
SUBS: Munday, Shelvey, Ibrahim, Hessenthaler, Kadzidio, Henshall, Cross

A surprising line up from the home side as they opt for a narrow formation with Ashley Young deployed in a central striking position. Franck Ribery will play just behind the front two with Sandro the midfielder charged with protecting the defence. Five ex-Liverpool players are in the starting line up for Saku FC today.

RUFF FC (442): Begovic, Scharner, Pranjic, Alex, Puyol, Albrighton, Petrov, Parker, Adam, Forlan, Pazzini
SUBS: Pitt, Rothwell, Anyukov, Diaby, Piquionne, Constable, Delph

Ruff FC line up with a more conventional 442 but they will have to make sure that one of Scott Parker or Charlie Adam picks up Ribery as he floats in the space between their midfield and defence. Paul Scharner plays at right back and former Leeds youngster Fabian Delph makes his comeback from a serious injury with a place on the bench.

Join us for all the action next!

[Greasy Chip Butty]

nPOWER CHAMPIONSHIP
Saturday August 7th, 2010, Saku Arena

The teams are out here at the Saku Arena and both sides will be desperate for the victory today as they seek to join the early, the very early, pacesetters at the top of the table. Preston North End hold the early top spot after their 3-1 win over Fareham Fallguys earlier this afternoon – which of these two will join them near the top on 3 points? Saku are wearing an all white strip this afternoon and will be playing in front of almost 60,000 here today, most of whom will wish to see a Saku victory. But it will be Ruff FC, with a large following behind the goal, who will kick off in their pink and blue strip, here we go!

----------

FIRST HALF

3
A challenge from behind from Sandro on Petrov earns the midfielder the first yellow card and gives Ruff FC a free kick on the left. The free kick comes to nothing and foward come Saku with Warnock, he slides the ball down the left for Young to use his speed. Into the box, tackle from Scharner ... PENALTY! Andy D’Urso’s assistant gives it, Saku FC have a penalty in the opening 4 minutes here!

4
It will be the French midfielder, Franck Ribery, against Asmir Begovic in the Ruff FC goal. Up he steps, right footed ... RIBERY scores, smashes it into the roof of the net, no chance for Begovic and it is 1-0 to the hosts!

GOAL!
SAKU FC 1-0 Ruff FC (Ribery, 4 pen)

6
Scott Parker wins the ball in midfield for Ruff FC, looking for a quick response here. Plays it forward to Diego Forlan, edge of the area and shoots ... Just over the bar!

17
Ball with Marc Albrighton on the right, he gets away from Warnock and plays the cross in low, confusion in the box, Adam is there, Pazzini is there, ball falls for FORLAN! He turns it home and Ruff FC are level! Instinctive finish from 4 yards from the Uruguayan, Forlan!

GOAL!
Saku FC 1-1 RUFF FC (Forlan, 17)

19
Here come Saku FC straight from the kick off! Young runs at the Ruff FC defence, good slide tackle from Puyol, straight to Luis Suarez. He slides the ball to Ribery, edge of the area, good feet from the Frenchman, he shoots ... just wide of the post! That had Begovic scrambling there!

26
Corner for Ruff FC from the left hand side, Pranjic with the outswinger ... Forlan is there, free header from four yards and Luis Suarez kicks it off the line! So close for Forlan!

29
Petrov with the free kick for Ruff FC who are on top right now. Curls it in from the left, another free header, Forlan heads over from six yards. That should have been 2-1!

30
Martin Petrov runs at Arbeloa on the left, cuts inside, drills the cross over low ... goes free at the back post, Forlan chases it, turns and fires low at goal ... off the post! Diego Forlan, so unlucky there! Arbeloa clears but here come Ruff FC again, Pranjic with the cross, Forlan again with the flick header, just over the bar!

34
Arbeloa with the throw, Keita gives it him back on the right wing for Saku FC. Low cross from the Spaniard, Ribery is there ... what a save by Begovic! Runs loose, Warnock hits it, off the foot of the post! Young is there now, he shoots, just wide! Great chance for Saku FC!

38
Essien has the ball for Saku, 35 yards out. He plays a ball down the right, Luis Suarez is away, shoots from a tight angle ... side netting! Should have looked to cross that really!

40
Ashley Young now running at Carles Puyol and Paul Scharner, they daren’t touch him as he gets into the box again. Young pulls it back at the byline, Essien is there ... shoots over, should have done better!

44
Suarez has the ball, finds Arbeloa. Good football from Saku FC as they find Essien in space, he slips it into the feet of Ribery, chance for a shot ... good save Begovic who pushes it out for a corner to deny the Frenchman!

45
Jeffrey Bruma jogs over to the left to take the corner for Saku FC, he swings it over to the near post and LUIS SUAREZ ... flick header past Begovic! Saku FC are back in front on the stroke of half time!

GOAL!
SAKU FC 2–1 Ruff FC (Suarez, 45)

45+2
Essien has the ball again for Saku FC, he finds Young, one on one with Scharner on the left. Scharner with the tackle, this time he gets the ball, runs to Suarez on the edge of the area, he is clipped by Adam and it’s a free kick on the edge of the ‘D’ for Saku FC ... It’s going to be Ribery to strike it, over the wall, just wide of Begovic’s right hand post.

HALF TIME
SAKU FC 2-1 RUFF FC

[Greasy Chip Butty]

nPOWER CHAMPIONSHIP
Saturday August 7th, 2010, Saku Arena

An amazing first half here at Saku Arena, how we only ended up with three goals is beyond me! Both sides seem intent on attacking each other and it’s made for a great game with Ribery putting Saku FC in front on 4 minutes from the spot, Forlan levelling for Ruff FC on 17 and then missing several glorious chances to extend the lead before Luis Suarez’ flicked header on the stroke of half time means that it is the home side who lead 2-1 at half time. Let us hope that the second half is just as action packed as the first shall we?

----------

SECOND HALF

48
Early corner from the left for Ruff FC as they search for an equaliser, Pranjic whips it in there, Forlan with the header at goal, hits his own man in Paul Scharner. Scharner control in the 6 yard box and lays it back to Alex who strikes it well, well stopped by Friedel in the Saku FC goal!

53
Another corner for Ruff FC who are throwing everything at Saku FC here. Pranjic takes it, Forlan gets there with another header, just over from ten yards out. Forlan is winning headers in the box for fun here!

54
Seydou Keita has the ball in the centre circle, he plays it out to Arbeloa on the right hand side for Saku FC. Inside it goes to Ribery, first time ball into space, Luis Suarez is in on goal again ... SUAREZ slides it past Begovic, 3-1 to Saku FC!

GOAL!
SAKU FC 3-1 Ruff FC (Luis Suarez, 54)

57
Ruff FC come forward down the left with Daniel Pranjic, he plays it back to the sub, Anyukov who clips the ball over, Petrov gets there with the header ... clips the bar and over!

58
Good running from Martin Petrov down the left, beats Keita and Skrtel out wide, plays the cross over into the six yard box ... there is DIEGO FORLAN, smashes it past Friedel, Ruff FC are back in the game!

GOAL!
Saku FC 3-2 RUFF FC (Forlan, 58)

61
Stephen Warnock has the ball for Saku FC on the left, halfway up the pitch ... he finds Ashley Young, clipped inside for Ribery. He slides the ball through inch perfect yet again, Luis Suarez through on goal again ... SUAREZ scores for Saku FC! They lead by two goals again and Luis Suarez has a debut hat-trick for Saku FC!

GOAL!
SAKU FC 4-2 Ruff FC (Suarez, 61)

65
Pranjic with the free kick again for Ruff FC, in it goes, headed away well by Saku FC. Anyukov picks it up and plays it back to Pranjic on the left, he cuts inside and hits a stunning effort from 30 yards ... tipped past the post by Friedel, that was heading for the top corner!

69
Carles Puyol hits the free kick forward for Ruff FC towards Forlan, Warnock has it covered here ... Forlan wins it, was that a foul? No, says the referee, Piquionne picks it up and plays it across the six yard box, here is Petrov with the low drive, parried wide by Friedel!

70
Anyukov has a throw in on the right for Ruff FC who are desperate for a way back into this game now. Thrown to Forlan, back to Anyukov, he drills a cross over from deep ... PAZZINI glances the header past Friedel and Ruff FC are back in the game again! Lovely header from the Italian striker into the bottom corner of the goal, 4-3, game on!

GOAL!
Saku FC 4-3 RUFF FC (Pazzini, 70)

72
Saku FC on the attack, trying to restore their two goal lead. Arbeloa with the low cross from the right, Alex has it but lose it to Suarez, he shoots ... blocked by Begovic and cleared away from danger by Pranjic!

84
Ribery with the free kick on the right, clips it over to the far post, Suarez with the header ... Begovic stops it with the help of the crossbar, ball loops up, Bruma tries to force it home, Scott Parker saves the day for Ruff FC!

87
Ruff FC have a throw on the right with Anyukov. Forlan plays it him back, he crosses again but this time Saku FC head it clear and Young comes away with the ball. Finds Essien in the centre circle, Saku FC slow it down ... Into Ribery, another perfect ball forward, here we go again ... LUIS SUAREZ ... chips it up and over Begovic and into the net, surely the winning goal now! What a combination Saku FC have here with Ribery making the passes and Luis Suarez who just does not miss!

GOAL!
SAKU FC 5-3 Ruff FC (Suarez, 87)

That goal has knocked the stuffing out of Ruff FC at last and the game peters out through injury time until Andy D’Urdo blows the final whistle to signal the end of a fabulous game!

FULL TIME
SAKU FC 5-3 RUFF FC

Wow! What a superb first live game of the season for SPORTS.tv, so much attacking flair on both sides and what a pity that Ruff FC had to be a loser in that game. A phenomenal performance from both teams but in particular the combination of Franck Ribery and Luis Suarez for Saku FC, how many goals will that provide this season? If they play like that all season, Saku FC will easily be promoted from the Championship this season! However, Ruff FC should not be too downhearted after a cracking performance going forward. The partnership of Diego Forlan and Giampaulo Pazzini looks impressive and the performance of full back Daniel Pranjic should give the Ruff FC fans some hope as they head home tonight.

We’ll leave you with the goals from the match!



JOIN US NEXT TIME ON SPORTS.tv!
Sunday August 8th, 2010: Calvary FC vs. Stratford Rangers (FA Community Shield)

[bergtaur]

The More Thing Change, The More They Stay The Same

A typical sight was seen at Verizon International Stadium as Hryhori Zahorchak took to the stand today to finally get around to introducing his players and manager for the upcoming season. What was originally intended as a friendly media event, quickly turned sour once the Chairman opened the floor to questions.

Most notably when asked about his team's projected 8th place finish, it was clear that the words of Sports.tv anchor Sid Smash still rang in the mind of the former manager of the club.

"What does this network even know about football anyway. Underneath my good friend Danilo Uljarevic, the team was projected to finish 15th in it's first season. Instead we won the FA Cup and finished second in the league! I still remember what that idiot Smash said, 'New Bloc will play a boring brand of football, but they will look nice in their pink shirts.' What a total joker he is. If I ever see him in public I'm going to give him a piece of my mind and a foot in the ass."

When asked about the team, New Bloc manager Chris Hughton, last seen emerging from a cave after managing Aston Villa in the shortest Premiership season ever said the following. "Well, we are staying true to the team philosophy. Very talented at the back with Srna, Criscito, Godin, and Ferdinand. Midfield has some quality, namely Arshavin and our star man Iniesta. Is there a problem up top, that's not for me to say. Andrew is a very talented player, so the possibility of only playing one man up top is there for sure."

After words, Zahorchak and Hughton trotted out Andy Carroll, Andres Iniesta, Andrey Arshavin, Danijo Srna, and Rio Ferdinand in the new kits for the season, designed by Kappa, and sponsered by stadium sponser Verizon.

As the press conference came to a close a reporter asked a question to Zahorchak for comment on the opponent on Sports.tv game of the week, ShakhtarSenseless, rumors that he burned a picture of Sir Alex Ferguson and said "His legacy is going up in smoke" are being denied by New Bloc PR, but the fact that a fire truck appeared minutes after the press conference ended makes us believe otherwise.

Stay tuned to NBOnline.com, the home for all things New Bloc F.C.

[o1000100]

Yes!!! 5-3!!!

I knew I could trust Suarez to do the goalscoring for my team. The last goal was brilliant!

[cookie15]

Well here we have it the first interview with the newly appointed manager of Stratford Rangers Gianfranco Zola. Welcome Gianfranco to the hotseat:




So Gianfranco how do you feel having been made favourites for the title?

Well if i'm honest i find that quite funny if i'm honest with you. I am very proud to have been appointed as manager by
William, but to be made favourites is something i wasn't expecting. I have faith in the squad and believe we have a good squad of players who will push the very best in the league.

You must be pleased with the quality you have managed to recruit to bolster your squad?

Well i have managed to get in 4 players, but if i'm honest i'm looking for 6, so you may see a little more activity before the window closes. Let me introduce you to our new recruits.
Firstly, i would like to introduce you to Thomas Kahlenberg.
Thomas is a sesoned International who will provide a stern cutting edge to our Midfield, creating a real competition for places. Next up is Razvan Rat.
He, like Thomas, has vast experience at the highest levels of the game.
And finally we have our marque signing, Diego Tardelli.
We are absolutely delighted to welcome Diego, he is going to add real quality to our strikeforce and push us on to the next level. We have also added Joey Barton, but unfortunately he will be unable to attend.
So, can you elaborate on why Joey isn't here?

Well, if i'm honest with you he has been taken into custody over the recent disturbances in Tottenham. He is believed to be one of the ring leaders, however, we are not allowed to give any more information at this time.

Does this mean he will miss the opening to the season?
I hope not, he has been causing me a few headaches to be honest with you!

How do you think you will fair in the Community Shield?
To be honest with you, i'm not sure it'll be a tough game, but i think we have sufficient quality to win.

Well the best of luck for the season, i hope we are able to reflect on a very successful season when i talk to you at the end of the season.
I hope so too! Thank you for kind words.

[Greasy Chip Butty]

Hmmm. Bit shocked at the lack of reaction. Not good.

[MattieCoopz]

Was going to say, being defeated by PNE is very tough to take indeed, Di Matteo would not be happy about this.
Plus why is Kirkland first choice, he's crocked put Mignolet or my boy Steele on instead?!

[bergtaur]

I'm surprised Senseless hasn't had a response. Typical NB presser I guess

[arkitekt]

I'm surprised Senseless hasn't had a response. Typical NB presser I guess

Beacause there is nothing to respond to so far, havent had a game yet!

[magvest]

I think he's talking about the presentation that he wanted everyone to make...

I'll try to make mine this weekend...

[arkitekt]

Ill do one when i have a game to write about with it...

[cookie15]

Hi, GCB
Just to let you know i'm away for 2 weeks from today, so won't be posting much. Will try to keep involved whilst i'm away but can't promise anything.

[letissierandhenryaregreat]

Great work GCB! An impressive pre-season encouraged optimism from myslelf before scrolling down to be met by a thrashing from Spartak ZV and then a generous 6th place predicition was probably placed there to get my hopes up even more...

[5ergio]

It's been a busy week for me and it looks like it'll be just like the last this week as well. I'll do a good write up once I have the proper time

"With the start of the season, we are yet to see Kaldera Tryn of FC Freljord to speak to us. Last reports claim he is working most of his time to run the club efficiently and get off to a good start. More to follow when we manage to get hold of the new chairman of Freljord. Stay tuned!" - sportseye.net

[arkitekt]

***yawn***

[bergtaur]

***yawn***

Really man, seriously? Sorry that GCB hasn't done anything recently, he's probably been busy doing other things, like life. Oh, and I'm sorry what have you contributed to the thread so far, ah yes, nothing at all.

It's this kind of attitude that really gets people down in a sign-up. I get that you are new, but if you've looked back at the things GCB has done you'd realize that he's one of the best people at running sign-ups. Everything GCB does in-thread takes time, because he also relies on us to contribute our own things as well.

Normally I wouldn't get this upset, but you are attacking someone who I truly respect on this forum and one of my true friends here. If you can't contribute to this in any way except complaining I strongly recommend you turn back now and join a less involved sign-up.

[MacLovin]

Really man, seriously? Sorry that GCB hasn't done anything recently, he's probably been busy doing other things, like life. Oh, and I'm sorry what have you contributed to the thread so far, ah yes, nothing at all.

It's this kind of attitude that really gets people down in a sign-up. I get that you are new, but if you've looked back at the things GCB has done you'd realize that he's one of the best people at running sign-ups. Everything GCB does in-thread takes time, because he also relies on us to contribute our own things as well.

Normally I wouldn't get this upset, but you are attacking someone who I truly respect on this forum and one of my true friends here. If you can't contribute to this in any way except complaining I strongly recommend you turn back now and join a less involved sign-up.

Well said, If more people put in the time that GCB has put in this sign-up it would be 110% but some users are little bit lazy wanting everything to fall into place.

[NicKC13573]

im sorry I haven't posted at all; I am now in school; so I will try to write as soon as I get a little free time, where I am not totally knackered from football practice

[Almondo]

Well the thing is Arkitekt you could actually post a statement from your chairman as those of us who haven't had a game yet have done. It only takes a couple of minutes to do.

[kevv2204]

could sum1 help me as i cant upload pictures off my laptop for my press release . thanx

[toonbalmy87]

could sum1 help me as i cant upload pictures off my laptop for my press release . thanx

you got photobucket yet ?

[kevv2204]

nah forgot lol il do it now

[arkitekt]

Wow, ok sorry I've offended you. I just don't see much point in an opening statement when gcb has already done introductions! This sign up has had me engaged since the very start and I'm just keen to know what happens next! I just found it weird with the hub of excitement and posts in the.beginning and then virtually nothing for days. Again I'm sorry, but I'm still not doing an "opening statement" .

[Sheriff 1993]

Well the thing is Arkitekt you could actually post a statement from your chairman as those of us who haven't had a game yet have done. It only takes a couple of minutes to do.

I agree completely

[kevv2204]

right done n uploaded pix now what kid

[Biscotti]

Wow, ok sorry I've offended you. I just don't see much point in an opening statement when gcb has already done introductions! This sign up has had me engaged since the very start and I'm just keen to know what happens next! I just found it weird with the hub of excitement and posts in the.beginning and then virtually nothing for days. Again I'm sorry, but I'm still not doing an "opening statement" .

As an outside observer, I quite clearly managed to spot the post by GCB that said "I've posted my previews, now give me some press releases stating your feelings".

[kevv2204]

Darlington Rangers open day!

HI! Im ummmmm ummm (looks to assistant) "kane velbrim" yesss yes Im Kane Velbrim manager (chairman) ohhh Chairman of manchester uni (darlington rangers ) what really? Chairman of Darlington Rangers, as you walk around the club you can see that we aim to be the first eco friendly club in cricket (football) um football.

as you can see our stadium is as eco friendly as possible and grows some nice weed ummm i mean weeds hahaha ha ummm, we also have decided to go green on the training equipment we believe this is the future of football in the 19th (21st) what the 21st century?
ok 21st century. our regime has been devised by our secret weapon in the coming season our fitness director mr Chuck Norris chuck will over see the fitness regime of our squad. We shall be hearing from our manager ruud (roberto) aha Roberto Martinez (Mancini) live via sattelite, he has assured me that he is away scouting transfer targets wich are sorely needed to add depth to what is a good nucleaus of a squad. So ladies and gentleman i give you Roberto Mancini!

[kevv2204]

Allo preetty Ladies Roberto here


CUT THE FEED !!!!! CUT THE FEED!!!!

[kevv2204]

MEANT THIS PIC LOL

[arkitekt]

As an outside observer, I quite clearly managed to spot the post by GCB that said "I've posted my previews, now give me some press releases stating your feelings".

And now as the inside observer, it says some press releases, not all. I can read between the lines too.

[Greasy Chip Butty]

Been busy, it's coming soon though.

Thanks for the defence, bergtaur. Arkitekt

[ejldude]

Sorry, I've not been active recently. I've just moved to Hong Kong and am still trying to sort my life out here. Doesn't leave me much time to get involved. As soon as I have internet set-up in my place I can contribute more. Still, great thread and I check it as much as I can. =)

[Kenco]

My opening press release is coming soon! I know I said it would be the weekend, but life stuff has got in the way. Hopefully can write it up tonight. Would have liked to have done one of those videos again, but I don't think they are free anymore.

[bergtaur]

Zahorchak Hits Out, Media not Surprised

New Bloc chairman Hryhorii Zahorchak hit out again at chairmen across the Premiership this season in actions hailed by many as typical and boring.

"Why aren't some of these people speaking up," said the controversial New Bloc Chairman. "Are they deaf or mute, or just frightened by the might of New Bloc? If they don't want to talk that's fine, but be rest assured that when I show up in their stadiums with my manager and my team I will show them no mercy. They will be crushed by the awesome might of New Bloc FC and anyone who says otherwise knows where to find me if they want a fight."

Manager Chris Hughton was not available for comment, having gone missing. Many believe that he went back into hiding in the cave he occupied at Villa, so we have reporters at the ready when and if he emerges. As for the words of Zahorchak, they were met with little excitement by the press corp. One reporter said, "It's a story when he doesn't have something to say, get a hold of me then."

That reporter was then seen exiting the hospital two days ago with his arm in a sling. Speculation that it was the doing of the chairman has been vastly denied by New Bloc PR. More on this story and the stories coming out of opening day as they happen right here on NBonline.com

[Greasy Chip Butty]

Sunday August 8th, 2010



BORE DRAW IN COMMUNITY SHIELD!
Calvary F.C. win the first silverware of the season on penalties.

A poor opening game of the season in front of 87,522 at Wembley saw Calvary F.C. lift the Community Shield after they defeated Stratford Rangers on penalties after a dull 0-0 draw in 90 minutes. Calvary F.C. manager Martin O’Neill claimed that his side deserved the victory and had more clear cut chances during the 90 minutes whilst Rangers manager Gianfranco Zola bemoaned the finishing of his strikers after they failed to hit the target at all during the 90 minutes.

A quiet opening 10 minutes came to life when Stratford Rangers did manage to hit the target in the 11th minute – only for the linesman to rule out the goal for offside as Adam Johnson headed home Seamus Coleman’s right wing cross after good work from Joey Barton and Dani Alves. Johnson was guilty of being three yards offside and the goal was rightly ruled out. It took 24 minutes for Calvary to threaten before Sturridge’s low cross from the left was dealt with well by Ben Foster. Three minutes later, Park Ji Sung’s drive was deflected into the path of England striker Darren Bent who advanced on goal, looked certain to score and drove the ball past Foster but just wide of the post as well. Bent again went close on 33 minutes as he turned Alcaraz well after a good ball from Lucas but his stinging drive was turned away well by Foster. A late corner from Joey Barton found Seamus Coleman at the back post but he headed just over Hugo Lloris’ goal to leave the game goalless at the break.

Stratford Rangers upped their game in a dull second half that had a penalty shoot-out written all over it well before the final whistle. Adam Johnson blew the best chance for Rangers when he was slid through by Asamoah Gyan but he fired past Lloris and the post before Gyan hit a curling effort from 25 yards that just missed the target on the hour. The game drifted away with no sign of a goal until injury time when Calvary FC created the best chance of the game. Park Ji Sung’s powerful run down the right led to a deflected cross, the ball fell for new signing Marko Maletic who drove the ball across the six yard box where Darren Bent was waiting four yards out. His effort was spectacularly kept out by Ben Foster who parried it onto the post and Dani Alves cleared the ball to save Rangers and force a penalty shoot out.

Calvary FC won the right to take the first penalty and Darren Bent fired home to make it 1-0 to the Wasps as the crowd saw the net rustle for the first time. Diego Tardelli levelled for Rangers before Park Ji Sung and Thomas Kahlenberg – injured during the match – both scored to make it 2-2. Calvary defender Naldo was the first player to miss as his poor effort was blocked by Foster and Rangers took advantage as Daniel Alves put them in front. Phil Jones and Daniel Sturridge, either side of Kim Kallstrom’s effort, kept Calvary in the shoot out but it fell to Henrique with the chance to secure the trophy for Stratford Rangers. However, his low shot was saved well by Hugo Lloris and the shoot out went into sudden death. Carlos Salcido scored for Calvary, Joey Barton levelled for Rangers, Marko Maletic and Michael Dawson then both scored to take the game to 6-6. Lucas made it 7-6 to Calvary FC and the pressure fell on Adam Johnson who had been poor throughout the game and he was the man to blow it as he hit the bar to give Calvary FC the first silverware of the season. The honour of lifting the Community Shield fell to Calvary FC captain Park Ji Sung and their players celebrated what they hope will be the first of many trophies that they win.

Calvary FC 0-0 Stratford Rangers
Calvary FC win 7-6 on penalties

Calvary FC: Lloris, Diallo, Naldo, Boateng, Salcido, Park (c), Jones, Lucas, Sturridge, Beattie, Bent
(SUBS USED: Maletic for Beattie)

Stratford Rangers: Foster, Dani Alves, Alcaraz, Vermaelen, Rat, Dawson (c), Coleman, Barton, Kallstrom, Johnson, Gyan
(SUBS USED: Kahlenberg for Alcaraz, Collins for Coleman, Tardelli for Rat, Henrique for Gyan)

[Greasy Chip Butty]

Wednesday August 11th, 2010



LOÏC IS THE RÉMY-DY FOR McLEISH!
French striker sinks battling Wycombe in League Cup Round 1.

French striker Loïc Rémy proved the hero for Alex McLeish’s Lowen United in the League Cup tonight as he hit a brace to rescue the Championship club from a goal down to League 2 Wycombe Wanderers at The Field. An early Kevin Betsy gave Wanderers a 1-0 lead in the Round 1 tie but Rémy hit the equaliser before half time before Leigh Griffiths, Darius Vassell and Rémy once more secured a comfortable 4-1 win in the end.

The result was harsh on Wycombe who held their own against their more illustrious opponents and had just as many chances to score goals. However, the superior finishing quality and the goalkeeping skills of Petr Cech ensured that Lowen United won through in the end. The League 2 side took the lead on the half hour as Rendell’s header was blocked well by Cech but KEVIN BETSY pounced to fire home the rebound from six yards out. The frustration of the just under 15,000 crowd was evident but the equaliser came 6 minutes later. After a super save from Cech denied Wycombe a 2-0 lead, Vassell raced away down the right and his cross was perfect for RÉMY to slide home from eight yards. 1-1 at half time and presumably a happier Alex McLeish than he would have been at 2-0 ...

A 58th minute corner for Wycombe led to the second goal for the Championship side. Rémy did his defensive duties as he cleared the corner away to the halfway line where LEIGH GRIFFITHS battled well against McCoy, won the ball and raced clear to make it 2-1 after a brief dally as he attempted to go round the keeper, Nikki Bull. Wanderers were unhappy with the challenge from Griffiths on McCoy that left the defender injured but the referee allowed the goal to stand and it was 2-1 to the hosts. The third came on 65 minutes as Rémy – again – broke away down the right and crossed well for former England striker DARIUS VASSELL to smash home from ten yards. The clinching fourth goal followed on 75 minutes as youngster Keith Weston swung over a free kick and RÉMY rose highest to head in off the post and make it 4-1 to complete the victory and send Lowen United into Round 2 of the competition. With a number of younger players involved, Alex McLeish will be happy to be through to the next round where Lowen United will eagerly await their next opponents in the competition.

Lowen United 4-1 Wycombe Wanderers
Rémy 36, 75, Griffiths 58, Vassell 65 | Betsy 30

Lowen United: Cech (c), Brand, Pritchard, Kinlan, Harris, Vassell, Nafiu, Cross, Weston, Rémy, Griffiths
(SUBS USED: Spencer for Nafiu, Bébé for Rémy, Gibbs for Weston)

Wycombe Wanderers: Bull, McCoy, Westwood, Johnson, Sandell, Ainsworth (c), Lewis, Bloomfield, Foley, Betsy, Rendell
(SUBS USED: Beavon for Betsy, Coid for Rendell, Winfield for McCoy)



Darlington Rangers 1-0 Oxford United
PETER CROUCH scored his first goal for Rangers as he headed home a 9th minute cross from Graham Alexander to secure a place in Round 2 for a strong Rangers side.

Dustin Rovers 3-0 Hereford United
Just under 10,000 watched on as Rovers secured their Round 2 place with a dominant performance at Wastelands that saw a hat trick for striker PETER ODEMWINGIE. An early penalty from the Nigerian was followed by a five yard tap in after Hereford failed to clear a Kolarov corner. In the second half, Odemwingie raced away onto a header forward from Kelly and he calmly slotted home to secure the victory.

Fareham Fallguys 3-0 Leyton Orient
A small crowd of under 6000 at the Creekside Arena as Fareham won comfortably to move into Round 2 as well. An early Di Santo cross was headed home by CHUNG-YONG LEE to put them in front on 9 minutes, DI SANTO headed home a Hitzlsperger free kick on 15 minutes to make it 2-0 and a second half goal from DUANE GRAHAM after confusion in the Orient area confirmed the win.

Ruff FC 1-3 Port Vale
A shock at the Gavestone Arena as a Ruff FC with a young defence crashed out of the competition in Round 1 to a Port Vale side who were in front in the first minute of the match when MARC RICHARDS rounded Begovic and slotted home without the Championship side touching the ball. A 23rd minute header from FREDRIK PIQUIONNE from a Albrighton free kick seemed to sort out Ruff FC but the last few moments of the first half gave them a real mountain to climb. First, Abou Diaby dallied in midfield, Loft sent Richards away again, his shot was blocked but fell into the path of LOFT who made it 2-1 to Vale. And then, on the stroke of half time, young defender Scott Rothwell was sent off for tripping Marc Richards when he was through on goal, a straight red for a professional foul. A second red card followed on 67 minutes as midfielder Charlie Adam was also sent off for Ruff FC – another straight red, this time for a two footed challenge – before Vale clinched the win minutes later. Diaby gave the ball away again, McCombe sent Justin Richards away on the left, the cross came in and LOFT headed home to send Ruff FC crashing out of the League Cup in Round 1 to the dismay of their fans.

Torquay United 1-0 Saku FC
Another big name to crash out in Round 1 at Plainmoor as League 2 Torquay United claimed a major scalp as they eliminated Carlo Ancelotti’s Saku FC. One goal was enough for the Gulls as Nicholson’s 26th minute free kick was headed home from inside the six yard box by MARK ELLIS with the young defence nowhere in sight. Ancelotti will be particularly disappointed with his sides inability to break down a ten man League 2 side though – Chris Zebroski was sent off on 36 minutes for Torquay – and, despite an excellent first day win on Saturday, Saku crash out of the League Cup for this season.

ROUND 2 DRAW

Stevenage Borough vs. DARLINGTON RANGERS
Dagenham & Redbridge vs. NEW BLOC
Sheffield United vs. SHAKHTAR SENSELESS
Scunthorpe United vs. SOLENT GALAXY
Crystal Palace vs. LOWEN UNITED
Torquay United vs. EMURICA FC
Bristol Rovers vs. A1 FC
Charlton Athletic vs. FAREHAM FALLGUYS
Bournemouth vs. CAPITE AD CALCEM
Preston North End vs. WOOTTON WANDERERS
SHIRE FC vs. Southampton
REAL CLIFTON vs. Swindon Town
DOCKLAND SOUTH vs. Port Vale
HORDEN ALL STARS vs. Sheffield Wednesday
CHELSEA AUSTRALIA vs. Brentford
ESSENDON FC vs. Peterborough United
KUDA LAUT GEMILANG vs. Accrington Stanley
DUSTBIN ROVERS vs. Barnsley
SOUTHSEA ATHLETIC vs. Plymouth Argyle

[jimbowmanuk]

Lowen United chairman Ernst Scaramanga was said to be delighted with the performance shown by a young side, with little experience of cup matches. "I said from the moment I appointed Alex Mcleish, that he would be the man to take this club in the right direction. Crystal Palace will be tougher opponents but I've every faith that Alex will get the best out of his team". Quoted the Eye-patch wearing, cat stroking Chairman from his Volcano office.

[MattieCoopz]

Absolutely delighted about the Carling Cup result, and I would very much like to know who this Duane Graham is!

[Greasy Chip Butty]

Friday August 13th, 2010



CALVARY SIGN YOUNG STRIKER!
16 year old French striker joins O’Neill’s side.

Just days after securing the first silverware of the season, Calvary FC boss Martin O’Neill has begun building his side for the future with the acquisition of 16 year old French striker Lenny Nangis from Stade Malherbe Caen for a fee of £1.1m.

After winning the Community Shield last Sunday, O’Neill made his move for the young striker who is expected to impress in the future although he is not expected to make much of an immediate impression on the first team. ‘Lenny is an outstanding young prospect, he is pacy and agile and he has an excellent ability to finish well when he gets chance,’ O’Neill told SPORTS.tv before adding ‘We are expecting big things from him in a few years time.’

Meanwhile, Capite Ad Calcem midfielder Luke Hyam, 18, has joined Tranmere Rovers on loan until January. Hyam joins the League 1 side to get some experience following his recent £800,000 move from Championship side, Ipswich Town, recently.

[Greasy Chip Butty]

Absolutely delighted about the Carling Cup result, and I would very much like to know who this Duane Graham is!

16 years and 23 days old, youngest goalscorer in the history of the League Cup now! He is from your youth team and is a player generated by the game. There are a lot of these players who have been generated by the game and until the squads fill up a bit, you'll hear a bit about them.

[bergtaur]

GCB, are those links on FB and Twitter active?

[Greasy Chip Butty]

GCB, are those links on FB and Twitter active?

No, but I wondered how long before somebody tried them!

[bergtaur]

I was wondering because I remember the T2B 2010 twitter profile, wouldn't be out of the question for you to do it again.

[Biscotti]

Not even to the first round of matches in the Premiership yet and already you've outdone yourself, GCB.

Absolutely brilliant format - a delight to read, even for those not involved.

[Greasy Chip Butty]

Saturday August 14th, 2010



PREMIER LEAGUE READY TO KICK OFF!
Who will get off to a flying start this season?

Ten Premier League games this weekend as the ‘Greatest League in the World’ kicks off with twenty new teams all looking to put down an early marker as their season kicks off. With all twenty teams a bit of an unknown quantity, the early stages of the season will be interesting as we find out who the title challengers are and who the teams who will be involved in the relegation dog-fight will be. SPORTS.tv will be there every step of the way as we all find out!

With the season about to start, let’s take a look at the team news:

Capite Ad Calcem vs. AFC Slough
The Romans are not at full strength for the visit of Slough as they are missing three key men as the season begins. Zat Knight (broken foot, 4 months) and Gary Cahill (Achilles, 2 weeks) are both missing from the defence whilst midfielder Javier Mascherano is out for 2 months with a hip injury. The Rebels from Slough have defensive worries as well with on loan Mathias Jorgensen (broken ankle, 3 months) and Daniel Agger (broken arm, 4 weeks) both not in contention for the opening game.

Darlington All Stars vs. Wootton Wanderers
The All Stars’ only injury concern as the season opens is Marouane Fellaini who has been out for a month with a sprained ankle. Although he could return for the visit of Wanderers, he is unlikely to having missed a major chunk of pre-season. Wanderers small squad is at full strength and they will be hoping that it remains that way this season!

Discworld vs. Dockland South
Marek Hamsik will miss the opening game of the season for The Discs as he continues to recover from a groin strain that should see him miss the opening 2 weeks of the season. The Discs opponents on the opening day are Dockland South who have a fully fit squad to choose from as they look for a winning start to the Premier League season.

Emurica FC vs. Solent Galaxy
New signing Mariano looks set to miss out for Emurica FC this afternoon with a knee ligament injury that could keep him out for another 7 weeks. Today’s visitors Solent Galaxy have a big problem in goal with Gianluigi Buffon out for the next month with a torn groin muscle that means Marcus Hahnemann will deputise. With new signing Atila Turan struggling with a strained wrist, Galaxy will be hoping to avoid further injuries today.

Essendon FC vs. Calvary FC
Joleon Lescott, Andy Reid and Ibrahim Afellay are all expected to miss out for the Bombers as they open their season today against Community Shield winners Calvary FC. Lescott is out for a month with a sprained ankle whilst Reid (ankle) and Afellay (thigh) should return next week. Calvary FC have no injury worries as they seek to live up to their billing as one of the favourites to win the Premier League this season.

FC Freljord vs. Stratford Rangers
FC Freljord kick off their Premier League campaign with just one injury worry – midfielder Karl Henry will miss the first few weeks of the season with strained knee ligaments. Their opponents on the first day are losing Community Shield side, Stratford Rangers. Right sided midfielder Seamus Coleman will miss the opening six weeks of the season after he broke his arm in the Community Shield but, other than that, Rangers are injury free.

New Bloc vs. Shakhtar Senseless
Forwards Andrey Arshavin and Ishmael Miller are the two injury concerns for New Bloc as they prepare to begin their campaign at home to Shakhtar Senseless on Saturday. A sprained ankle looks set to keep the Russian Arshavin out for the opening few weeks of the season whilst a hernia means that Miller will be out of their first couple of games as well. Senseless will begin the season without four key players: Stephen Carr has a back strain that keeps him out of the opening two fixtures; Steven Pienaar is out for a month with fractured ribs; Pato misses out with a twisted ankle is likely to be out for another fortnight; and Lisandro Lopez is out for another week with a broken wrist. They will be hoping to avoid further injuries when the season starts later.

Real Clifton vs. Chelsea Australia
Another injury crisis is to be found at Real Clifton who also have four players ruled out of their opener with the injury free Chelsea Australia this weekend. Defenders Glen Johnson, Kieran Richardson and England captain John Terry are all out for at least a month whilst French striker Andre-Pierre Gignac is out for four weeks with a damaged knee cap. Chelsea Australia will be hoping to take advantage on the opening day of the season, no doubt.

Shire FC vs. Kuda Laut Gemilang
The Hobbits begin their season at home without three of their attacking options as Robert Snodgrass (strained ankle ligaments, 9 days), Goran Pandev (broken collarbone, 2 months) and Bojan (twisted knee, 8 days) are all out injured for definite. Some of their other forward options will need to step up and ensure that they score the goals needed this weekend against Kuda Laut Gemilang. Kuda Laut are injury free heading into the opening day and they are expected to name a full strength side as they look to open with a win.

Southsea Athletic vs. Rushden Phoenix
Southsea Athletic manager Mark Hughes has confirmed that neither Joe Cole nor Shola Ameobi will be fit to start the season with both men out for a further two weeks. Cole has a sprained ankle whilst Ameobi is suffering with a virus that is limiting his ability to train or participate in matches. Their opponents this Saturday are Rushden Phoenix who have confirmed that defender Laurent Koscielny is out with broken ribs for another week at least whilst Martin Kelly is struggling to recover from bruised ribs in time for the game.

JOIN US FOR THE OPENING PREMIER LEAGUE WEEKEND OF THE SEASON ON SPORTS.tv!

[Nottingham Forest]

Absolute rubbish. How the hell do I pick four injuries .

[Greasy Chip Butty]

Saturday August 14th, 2010



CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM NEWS
Which players are injured ahead of the second round of Championship fixtures?

After the start of the nPower Championship season last week, SPORTS.tv visited the ‘Big 8’ in the Championship to get an update on their injuries and team news ahead of their fixtures this Saturday. With big games coming up on Saturday and beyond, all eight teams will be desperate to avoid an injury crisis despite the early stage of the season with none of the sides wanting to be left behind.

A1 FC
William Gallas (4-5 weeks, strained knee ligaments)
Aaron Ramsey (1 day, dead leg)

DARLINGTON RANGERS
James McCarthy (3 months, broken ankle)

DUSTBIN ROVERS
Fully fit squad!

FAREHAM FALLGUYS
Rafael (2 weeks, groin strain)
Ramires (2 weeks, twisted ankle)

HORDEN ALL STARS
Robert Green (3 days, bruised head)

LOWEN UNITED
Phillipp Lahm (3 months, fractured skull)
Filipe (4 weeks, strained knee ligaments)
Esteban Cambiasso (4-5 weeks, twisted ankle)
Lee Cattermole (3-4 weeks, fractured ribs)

RUFF FC
Fully fit squad!

SAKU FC
David Dunn (5-11 days, fractured wrist)

FIXTURES: Saturday 14th August

A1 FC vs. Sheffield United
Coventry City vs. SAKU FC
DARLINGTON RANGERS vs. Hull City
DUSTBIN ROVERS vs. Millwall
FAREHAM FALLGUYS vs. Middlesbrough
HORDEN ALL STARS vs. Doncaster Rovers
LOWEN UNITED vs. Scunthorpe United
RUFF FC vs. Preston North End

JOIN US FOR ALL THE nPOWER CHAMPIONSHIP ACTION ONLY ON SPORTS.tv!

[MattieCoopz]

Not a massive loss in Ramires or Rafael, but if Eto'o goes down, we'll be left up the creek without a paddle. xD

[Greasy Chip Butty]

Won't be in this much detail all the time but it is the first day of the season so let's have some fun with it ...

Saturday August 14th, 2010



PREMIER LEAGUE RETURNS TODAY!
SPORTS.tv ‘Soccer Saturday’ is back with all the Premier League and Championship action!
With Sid Smash and Hazel Harrison!

SID SMASH: Welcome back to SPORTS.tv and ‘Soccer Saturday’ which is back today as the Premier League kicks off with nine fixtures!

HAZEL HARRISON: Don’t forget that we have eight games in the nPower Championship as well, Sidney, will you?

SID SMASH: Indeed we have, Hazel. Did you have a good summer?

HAZEL HARRISON: I had a great summer, Sid, spent most of it on my back ...

SID SMASH: No change there then, hey?

HAZEL HARRISON: I meant on my back and sunbathing, Sid. As you well know, I prefer hands and knees for other things ...

SID SMASH: And with that, let us move on to today’s games. In the Premier League, we have nine games and it is rather difficult for us to pick any out as we have twenty new teams and nobody knows what to expect really!

HAZEL HARRISON: The only guarantee, Sid, is that I will be the first on the scene with all the scoops.

SID SMASH: I know that, Miss Harrison. Coming up live and exclusive later on SPORTS.tv, we have our first live Premier League game of the season as New Bloc host Shakhtar Senseless at the Verizon International Stadium but first of all, it’s time for kick off around the country. Excited, Hazel?

HAZEL HARRISON: Always. Who do you think will win the league, Sid?

SID SMASH: Difficult to say, really, it could be any of nineteen teams.

HAZEL HARRISON: Nineteen? Why not twenty?

SID SMASH: Well, it definitely won’t be New Bloc FC in their fancy pink and black shirts will it. I wouldn’t go there for the scoops, Hazel, I doubt that they’ll be willing to let you get close. And have you seen their new away shirts?

HAZEL HARRISON: I have, Sid. Chocolate brown and white, they are.

SID SMASH: Hmm. If you say so.

HAZEL HARRISON: First goal of the afternoon has gone in, Sid. It’s in the nPower Championship at the RICOH Arena!

First blood to the visitors, Hazel! We saw Franck Ribery tearing Ruff FC apart last weekend and he’s up to the same tricks again today. A great one-two on the edge of the area and he slid in SEYDOU KEITA who smashed it home.

Coventry City 0-1 Saku FC (Keita, 6)

SID SMASH: Great start there for Saku FC who were knocked out of the League Cup at Torquay in midweek. No problems in the Championship though!

HAZEL HARRISON: Franck Ribery looking impressive as well, Sid. Goal in the Premier League, Sid. First one of the season and it has come at the Skerne Field, home of Darlington All Stars ...

Thanks, Hazel, the first goal of the Premier League season has been scored here at Skerne Field today and it’s gone to the visitors, Wootton Wanderers. Carlos Vela did well to link with his strike partner with a lovely through ball and LUKAS PODOLSKI dribbled past Victor Valdes before sliding the ball home to put Wanderers in front.

Darlington All Stars 0-1 Wootton Wanderers (Podolski, 7)

SID SMASH: Lukas Podolski scores the first Premier League goal of the season, Hazel. Ever met him?

HAZEL HARRISON: Not yet but I’ve always wanted to. Maybe I’ll visit him at Wootton soon. Another goal in the Championship, Sid. Saku FC were shocked in the cup in midweek and they’re 1-0 up already; well, Ruff FC have done the same at the Gavestone Arena haven’t they, Craig Brown?

Indeed they have, Wee Hazel. Ruff FC won a corner doon the right, Martin Petrov whipped it in, former Preston player Sean St. Ledger poked it at goal but it was saved on the line. However, Italian striker GIAMPAOLO PAZZINI was on hand to smash it home from three yards out.

Ruff FC 1-0 Preston North End (Pazzini, 9)

SID SMASH: Second goal of the season for Pazzini, Hazel, he scored at Saku FC in that thriller that was live on SPORTS.tv!

HAZEL HARRISON: He was, Sid. 5-3 it finished but the defence was awful.

SID SMASH: Great excitement though!

HAZEL HARRISON: I prefer to keep it tight at the back, Sid. Anyway, back to Craig Brown at Gavestone Arena, another goal there!

Yeah, Ruff FC look to have put their shaky start behind them, Hazel, they’ve made it 2-0 and it is PAZZINI again who has got the goal. Another corner from the right to the far post, this time from Pranjic, Alex headed goalwards and the Italian got a little flick in front of the keeper and it is 2-0 to the hosts.

Ruff FC 2-0 Preston North End (Pazzini, 12)

SID SMASH: Quick-fire double from Pazzini and Ruff FC are on their way to a much needed win even at this early stage of the season. Where next Hazel?

HAZEL HARRISON: The Colonial Stadium, Emurica FC are at home to Solent Galaxy and there has been a goal there ...

Goal here, chaps, it has gone to the home side, Emurica FC! Short free kick into the feet of Zlatan Ibrahimovic, he played a clever ball in between the central defender and the full back for CLINT DEMPSEY coming off the right wing and he buried it in the near corner. Nearly as beautiful as my perm it was ...

Emurica FC 1-0 Solent Galaxy (Dempsey, 13)

SID SMASH: Alan Brazil and his perm, I’d forgotten that! Clint Dempsey’s last goal was ‘that’ goal past Robert Green in the World Cup over the summer so it’s good to see that he is scoring proper goals again now!

HAZEL HARRISON: Alan Brazil, the guy with the perm and the really tight shorts, wasn’t he? I remember him. Anyway, Sid, back to the football. We’ve got a goal in the Championship at The Fire Oven. A1 vs. Sheffield United, Kevin Blackwell is there for us!

And my old club are behind here, Hazel. A1 FC have taken the lead on the quarter hour mark. A1 FC, passing the ball on the floor far too much for my liking, attacking down the left, Figueroa laid it off and YOANN GOURCUFF hit it low and hard from 25 yards past Steve Simonsen and into the corner of the net.

A1 FC 1-0 Sheffield United (Gourcuff, 15)

SID SMASH: A decent opening day point at Derby County on the opening day of the season for A1 FC and now they’re in front at home. Where next Hazel?

HAZEL HARRISON: We’d better head off to Horden Park, home of the All Stars who are facing Doncaster Rovers today. Dave Penney is there for us.

After a dominant start to the game by the Horden All Stars, they have made the pressure tell and have opened the scoring here, Hazel. Doncaster play some lovely football but what can you do when Lionel Messi runs at you and slips the ball through to STEVEN GERRARD? Gerrard buries it in the corner, that is what happens!

Horden All Stars 1-0 Doncaster Rovers (Gerrard, 15)

SID SMASH: Doncaster Rovers up against Messi and Gerrard, whatever next?!

HAZEL HARRISON: Gerrard and Messi, I wouldn’t mind being up against them, Sid. Another goal in the Championship, this time at the Creekside Arena!

Well, Hazela, it issa goal for Fare-ham here against Boro, my old club. Zabaleta crossed za ball from za right, Steele couldn’t catch it and SAMUEL ETO’O scores for Fare-ham.

Fareham Fallguys 1-0 Middlesbrough (Eto’o, 17)

SID SMASH: Who had the idea to have Juninho as a commentator for SPORTS.tv Hazel? Absolute genius!

HAZEL HARRISON: We owed him a favour, Sid. He, well, I, well, we errm ... Oh, there’s been a goal in the Premier League. FC Freljord are at home to Stratford Rangers and are being watched by Alan Smith ...

First goal of the season for Stratford Rangers, Hazel, what a belter it was as well! Joey Barton found the new signing DIEGO TARDELLI on the edge of the area, he got away from the defender, turned towards goal and struck it sweet as you like into the top corner of the net from 25 yards out. No chance for Pepe Reina, Stratford Rangers are in front!

FC Freljord 0-1 Stratford Rangers (Tardelli, 19)

SID SMASH: Just seen it on the monitors, what a goal that was!

HAZEL HARRISON: Time for our first break of the day, I think, Sidney!

SID SMASH: Join us after the break for the action as we approach half time.

HAZEL HARRISON: See you in a minute!

[cookie15]

GCB - Great start mate! Disappointed that we couldn't win the Community Shield, but I'm not surprised seeing the formation!A good half time lead with a goal from Tardelli, nice to hear it was a belter!

[Kenco]

Sports.tv: Good morning. I am stood here outside the newly built Coliseum, home of the brand new Barclays Premier League team Capite Ad Calcem. With me is the man behind this exciting new team, chairman Non Compos Mentos, and the man he is hoping can guide this team to success, Liverpool legend Kenny Dalglish.

Mr Mentos, firstly I'd like to say what a fantastic stadium you have here. You must be very proud.

Non Compos Mentos: Thank you. I build it with my own two hands.

Stv: It's obviously been a very busy summer, can you tell why you have invested so much time and money to compete in the Premier League?

NCM: Because it is the greatest league in the world, and I want us to be the greatest team in the world. I have built this club from top to bottom, and firmly believe we can dominate the world.

Stv: The man stood next to you, Kenny Dalglish is your new manager. How pleased are you to have someone with his experience to lead your team?

NCM: I am delighted to have appointed Kenny. He was always my first choice, the only man capable of leading such a team. Apart from Iain Dowie.

Stv: Kenny, how happy are you to be here?

Kenny Dalglish: mumble mumble mumble mumble, mumble mumble mumble.

Stv: Erm, do we have an interpreter?

KD (via interpreter): I am delighted to be here, Mr Mentos has done a fantastic job here and I'm looking forward to getting the season going.

Stv: Can you tell us a bit about your squad?

KD: Well the random drafting was an interesting process, but I feel we have a decent mix of experience and promising youth, with a couple of world class players to boot. Javier Mascherano is going to lead the team, but he is currently out with a hip problem so Jamie will take charge for the time being. There is he now. JAMIE!! COME HERE A SEC!!

Stv: Hi Jamie, what do you think of your new team?

Jamie Carragher: ay ay, but dey do doh don't dey doh.

Stv: Errrmm, we need another interpreter!

JC (via interpreter): It's fantastic, the facilities here are great, and the opportunity to work with Kenny is a dream come true for a lifelong Everto- I mean, Liverpool fan.

Stv: I see you are modelling the new kit, what do you think?



JC: Well it's nice to be in red again, makes it easier to pick out my teammates. I'm looking forward to linking up with Masch and Dirk again, and we have some really good signings, including Jamie O'Hara over there in the away kit.



Stv: Hi Jamie O. Can I just say your missus is really tidy.

Jamie O'Hara: Thanks, but don't you have any football related questions?

Stv: No. (turns back to Kenny Dalglish) So Kenny, what do you think about your first few games?
(Jamie O'Hara storms off)

KD: Well we have a tricky opening game against AFC Sluff, but I think we can cause them a few problems too.

Stv: Do you mean AFC Slough?

KD: That's what I said.

Stv: Okay. And the league cup, you've been drawn away to Bournemouth?

KD: Yes, Bournemouth is a lovely place, I'm looking forward to heading there, hopefully will be a nice summer's day so we can go to the beach before the game.

Stv: Okay. Well Mr Compos, Kenny, Jamie, I wish you all the best for the coming season. So, can Capite Ad Calcem might not be one of the fancied teams in the top to bottom league, but everybody here is confident they can go from bottom to top. What do you think? Tune in to Sports.tv this season to find out. Back to the studio.

[MattieCoopz]

Intriguing beginning to that match against Boro, hope it continues!

[glennuk]

First Silverware for the club in a season where alot of silverware may appear in the trophy cabinet

[Dave.]

No goals yet in Southsea Athletic's game... Torres will provide some though.

[Sheriff 1993]

Great Start GCB Lets hope Rushden Phoenix can get a win even though all my defenders are either injured or terrible :P

[fyrros]

What happens in the second half? :P:P

Suspense is killing me ^^

[Greasy Chip Butty]

What happens in the second half? :P:P

Suspense is killing me ^^

Here ...

Saturday August 14th, 2010



SPORTS.tv ‘SOCCER SATURDAY’!
With Sid Smash and Hazel Harrison!

SID SMASH: Welcome back to SPORTS.tv, this is ‘Soccer Saturday’ on the opening day of the Premier League season, halfway through the first half here.

HAZEL HARRISON: Goal in the Championship, The Field and Brian Laws ...

Thanks Hazel, it is a goal for the home side, Lowen United take the lead here against Scunthorpe United who will be very upset over the defending for the goal. Juan Manuel Mata’s corner from the right and a free header from four yards for MOUSSA DEMBELE who found the bottom corner, 1-0 to Lowen United!

Lowen United 1-0 Scunthorpe United (Dembele, 26)

SID SMASH: Moussa Dembele puts Lowen United in front, they will hope they can build on that as they approach half time. Hazel?

HAZEL HARRISON: Penalty at the Colonial Stadium where Emurica were leading 1-0 at home to Solent Galaxy ... Back to Alan Brazil ...

Yes, penalty for the home side here, a chance for Emurica to go two up on the opening day within half an hour. Lee Bowyer’s low cross into Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Jonas Olsson tripped him as he looked to head for goal, looked a soft one and the Galaxy defenders are unhappy ... the decision stands though. It’s going to be Robbie Keane for Emurica ... up against Marcus Hahnemann ... up he steps ... KEANE scores, hits the bottom corner, 2-0 to Emurica!

Emurica 2-0 Solent Galaxy (Keane pen, 28)

SID SMASH: A great start to the season for Emurica who SPORTS.tv did predict to struggle this season but on this form we’re looking like being wrong here!

HAZEL HARRISON: Second goal in the Championship game at the Creekside Arena, Fareham Fallguys were a goal up thanks to Samuel Eto’o, back to Juninho!

Middlesbrough are level here at Creekside Arena, guys. Brede Hangeland with a bad clearance, Marvin Emnes’ cross finds MICKAEL TAVARES and he managed to hit it home past Kirkland. 1-1 here!

Fareham Fallguys 1-1 Middlesbrough (Tavares, 29)

SID SMASH: Good response from ‘Boro at Creekside Arena, Tavares with his first goal since his loan move from Hamburg ... Hazel, another goal?

HAZEL HARRISON: Yes, Sid, first goal of the season for Essendon or Calvary FC? Charlie Nicholas is at Windy Hill ...

Calvary FC won the Community Shield without a goal last weekend but they have managed to hit the net here with the first goal this afternoon. Park Ji-Sung found ROBIN VAN PERSIE on the edge of the box, he turned and fired past Craig Gordon into the bottom corner, his first for the club.

Essendon FC 0-1 Calvary FC (Van Persie, 29)

SID SMASH: Robin Van Persie with his first goal of the season for Calvary FC, they prove that they can score as well!

HAZEL HARRISON: Ruff FC vs. Preston North End, 2-0 to Ruff FC when we last were there, third goal now at the Gavestone Arena ...

And Preston North End are back in the game, Hazel, they’ve got it back to 2-1 here. Paul Hayes with the sliding ball through and NATHAN ELLINGTON strode clear and fired low and hard past Begovic to get one back ...

Ruff FC 2-1 Preston North End (Ellington, 29)

... Hang on, another chance here, great run from Ellington, good save from Begovic, danger not over, low cross from Treacy ... ELLINGTON has a second goal, 2 in 2 minutes for North End! Ellington pokes the ball past Begovic and they are back level at 2-2!

Ruff FC 2-2 Preston North End (Ellington, 30)

SID SMASH: Wow! Great 2 minutes for Nathan Ellington and Preston North End there, they have fought back from 2-0 down to level against Ruff FC ...

HAZEL HARRISON: Horden Park, second goal there ...

Yeah, thanks Hazel, it is 2-0 to Horden All Stars now and it is a first goal for the club for one LIONEL MESSI, he was first onto a loose ball, strode past Mark Wilson and tucked the ball into the far corner, no chance for Sullivan. All Stars looking comfortable now!

Horden All Stars 2-0 Doncaster Rovers (Messi, 33)

SID SMASH: Lionel Messi’s first goal for Horden All Stars, the first of many in all likelihood, Horden All Stars looking good there.

HAZEL HARRISON: Another goal at Windy Hill ... 2-0 to Calvary or an equaliser for Essendon?

A second goal for Calvary FC and a second goal for ROBIN VAN PERSIE! A corner for Essendon who do not deserve to be 2-0 down, cleared up field and Emmanuel Eboue failed to make the clearance ... Van Persie beat him to it and then strode clear of Craig Cathcart before slamming the ball past Craig Gordon, 2-0 to Calvary FC!

Essendon FC 0-2 Calvary FC (Van Persie, 34)

SID SMASH: Two goals in five minutes for Robin Van Persie as Calvary FC go 2-0 up at Essendon. Great start, so it seems, for Martin O’Neill’s men.

HAZEL HARRISON: Unbelievable start to the game at the Gavestone Arena, Ruff FC were 2-0 up, Preston North End got two goals in two minutes to make it 2-2 and there has been a fifth goal now. Craig Brown?

Preston North End have completed the turnaround, they lead 3-2 now here and the Ruff FC players look desperate for half time now! Taylor got away down the right, his cross was deflected but that caught out Asmir Begovic who was out of position and PAUL HAYES managed to hook the ball into the unguarded right hand side of the goal!

Ruff FC 2-3 Preston North End (Hayes, 34)

SID SMASH: Unbelievable comeback from Preston, can they now go on and secure the three points there against Ruff FC?

HAZEL HARRISON: Creekside Arena now again, Sid, Fallguys were level at 1-1 with Middlesbrough, third goal. Juninho, who has got it?

It has gone to Fare-ham Fallguys, Hazel my dear, Charles N’Zogbia’s cross from the left and sliding it home at the back post was MILOS KRASIC to send the home fans crazy with joy!

Fareham Fallguys 2-1 Middlesbrough (Krasic, 36)

SID SMASH: Milos Krasic’s first goal for Fareham Fallguys since his £13m move from CSKA Moscow, we’re heading towards half time now, who will be able to add something before half time?

HAZEL HARRISON: Southsea Athletic up against Rushden Phoenix in the Premier League at Pelham Road, first goal has been scored. Phil Thompson is there for us.

Three minutes before half time, Southsea Athletic are behind here at their home ground as Rushden Phoenix go in front and what a stunner it was. Leon Osman and John Obi Mikel did well on the left and Mikel laid it off to BASTIAN SCHWEINSTEIGER from 25 yards straight into the top corner. Phoenix in front just before half time!

Southsea Athletic 0-1 Rushden Phoenix (Schweinsteiger, 42)

SID SMASH: Absolute stunning goal there, catch that later on TV!

HAZEL HARRISON: Lowen United were 1-0 up against Scunthorpe United, The Field has seen a second goal now ...

Second goal for Lowen United, Hazel, again it was created by Spanish winger Juan Manuel Mata, his cross from the left and MAROUANE CHAMAKH glanced the header into the corner to make it two.

Lowen United 2-0 Scunthorpe United (Chamakh, 43)

SID SMASH: Mata creates both goals, Dembele with the first, Chamakh with the second, looks like Lowen United are on their way to a good win there.

HAZEL HARRISON: Goal at Underhill Stadium, Shire FC at home to Kuda Laut Gemilang, which way has it gone? Barry Venison is there!

The goal has gone the way of Shire FC and it has been scored by GABRIEL AGBONLAHOR with a cool finish. Agbonlahor picked the ball up from a corner, some neat passing on the edge of the box, slid in for Agbonlahor and he rounded the keeper to score the first of the season for Shire FC!

Shire FC 1-0 Kuda Laut Gemilang (Agbonlahor, 44)

SID SMASH: Heading into injury time now, half time moments away.

HAZEL HARRISON: Goal in injury time at Horden Park, Horden All Stars were 2-0 up against Doncaster Rovers ...

... And now it is 3-0 to Horden All Stars, Hazel. Bit of a fluke but they won’t care, down the left wing, RORY DELAP with the cross and it sailed over Sullivan and dropped into the back of the Doncaster Rovers goal ... Fluke but now three goals up!

Horden All Stars 3-0 Doncaster Rovers (Delap, 45)

SID SMASH: Rory Delap scoring his first goal for Horden All Stars there, any more goals before half time Hazel?

HAZEL HARRISON: No goals, Sid, but a red card!

Emurica FC are 2-0 up here at the Colonial Stadium, Hazel, now they’re a man up as well. Jonas Olsson, who was booked earlier when he tripped Ibrahimovic for the penalty, has received his second yellow card for an innocuous foul on Dempsey and he is now off. Solent Galaxy are down to ten men and they’ll do well to get anything out of this game now!

Emurica FC 2-0 Solent Galaxy (Olsson sent off, 45)

SID SMASH: Half time whistles going around the country, let’s have the half time scores in the Premier League ...

Capite Ad Calcem 0-0 AFC Slough
Darlington All Stars 0-1 Wootton Wanderers
Discworld 0-0 Dockland South
Emurica FC 2-0 Solent Galaxy
Essendon FC 0-2 Calvary FC
FC Freljord 0-1 Stratford Rangers
Real Clifton 0-0 Chelsea Australia
Shire FC 1-0 Kuda Laut Gemilang
Southsea Athletic 0-1 Rushden Phoenix

HAZEL HARRISON: In the Championship, these are the half time scores ...

A1 FC 1-0 Sheffield United
Coventry City 0-1 Saku FC
Darlington Rangers 0-0 Hull City
Dustbin Rovers 0-0 Millwall
Fareham Fallguys 2-1 Middlesbrough
Horden All Stars 3-0 Doncaster Rovers
Lowen United 2-0 Scunthorpe United
Ruff FC 2-3 Preston North End

SID SMASH: Half time around the country, we’ll be back with the second half after the break.

HAZEL HARRISON: Make sure you come back!

[Greasy Chip Butty]

Just to let you all know that I am keeping track of who does what in this thread.

If you don't post, expect very little about your team in my updates.

If you post little one line things, expect one line things about your team from me.

If you get into the spirit of the thread and join in, you will hear more about your team.

[bergtaur]

And I continue to wait for MOTD, GCB do you mind that I continue to heel it up against Sid? Also, if you are thinking of bringing that sexy Hazel interview back around I'd love to do one.

[Greasy Chip Butty]

And I continue to wait for MOTD, GCB do you mind that I continue to heel it up against Sid? Also, if you are thinking of bringing that sexy Hazel interview back around I'd love to do one.

Hazel can be arranged for an interview if you like ... I'll PM you about that.

Saturday August 14th, 2010



SPORTS.tv ‘SOCCER SATURDAY’!
With Sid Smash and Hazel Harrison!

SID SMASH: Welcome back to SPORTS.tv for ‘Soccer Saturday’ where the first half of the Premier League season is now complete. How will the sides fare in the second half of their opening games?

HAZEL HARRISON: We’ve got a goal at the RICOH Arena, Sid. Saku FC got the first goal of the day there, the first goal of the second half has come there too. Let’s get over to RICOH Arena ...

And it is a second goal for Saku FC as well, Hazel, Essien and Suarez combining to send ASHLEY YOUNG clear, his pace made him unstoppable and he found the bottom corner with ease. 2-0 to the visitors!

Coventry City 0-2 Saku FC (Young, 46)

SID SMASH: Ashley Young’s first goal for his new club, Saku FC. They look to be on their way to three points at the RICOH Arena.

HAZEL HARRISON: First goal of the game at Neasham Park, Darlington Rangers at home to Hull City today, Dean Windass is there for us.

Goal has been scored by the home team, Darlington Rangers are one up, Hazel. Modric with the ball through and from a tight angle, ALBERTO AQUILANI drives the ball home past Duke and in off the far post. Great finish. Just one point here, guys, Sergio Aguero has gone off injured, an ankle injury, looks like it could keep him out for a few weeks.

Darlington Rangers 1-0 Hull City (Aquilani, 47)

SID SMASH: Thanks for that, Deano, Aguero injured but Darlington Rangers are a goal up at Neasham Park.

HAZEL HARRISON: Poor Sergio, I’m happy to go and look after him if he wants me to. Another goal at the RICOH Arena, are Saku FC out of sight or are Coventry City back in the game?

Three nil to Saku FC, Hazel. Free kick curled into the area by Franck Ribery and SANDRO rose highest, powerful header into the corner of the net. Great start to the season for Saku FC, eight goals scored now. Saku FC 3-0 to the good.

Coventry City 0-3 Saku FC (Sandro, 52)

SID SMASH: Great start for Saku FC, Hazel, they look set for a promotion challenge. Where next?

HAZEL HARRISON: Back to the Colonial Stadium, Emurica FC were 2-0 up against Solent Galaxy at half time and Galaxy were down to ten men. Third goal there, who has got it?

Game over here, Hazel, 3-0 to Emurica FC now and it has been scored by that man ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC, Kalou with the cross to the near post and he flicked the ball home with his head. You really fear for Galaxy now, 3-0 down away from home and a man down, this could end up embarrassing here.

Emurica FC 3-0 Solent Galaxy (Ibrahimovic, 60)

SID SMASH: Awful start to the season for Solent Galaxy but a great one for Emurica FC ...

HAZEL HARRISON: Skerne Field now, Darlington All Stars are level against Wootton Wanderers, Ian Rush?

They are indeed, Hazel, wonderful goal to level things up. Makoun’s cross to the far side of the area, Malouda nodded it on and JERMAIN DEFOE stooped to head past the keeper, 1-1 now here at Skerne Field.

Darlington All Stars 1-1 Wootton Wanderers (Defoe, 60)

SID SMASH: Things are going goal crazy on the hour, Hazel, another goal now?

HAZEL HARRISON: Back to the RICOH Arena, Saku FC were 3-0 up ...

A little glimmer of hope for Coventry City, Hazel, MARLON KING has pulled one back for them. He picked up the ball from Bell on the corner of the box and hit a stunning drive that managed to fizz past Brad Friedel at his near post. Good goal for King, Coventry back in it just about!

Coventry City 1-3 Saku FC (King, 60)

SID SMASH: The Sky Blues looking for a remarkable comeback there at the RICOH Arena, similar to what Preston North End have done at Ruff FC this afternoon.

HAZEL HARRISON: Over to the Flying Turtle now, Sid, first goal of the day there as Discworld host Dockland South, which way has it gone?

Home side are in front, Hazel, they had Tomas Rosicky injured in the first half but couldn’t get a goal despite being in firm control. However, Bakary Sagna’s run allowed time and space for CARLOS TEVEZ to curl a wonderful strike past Kuszczak in the Dockland goal and the Discs lead 1-0 just after the hour!

Discworld 1-0 Dockland South (Tevez, 62)

SID SMASH: Brilliant strike from Tevez, a goal worthy of winning any game but will it be enough for the Discs in their first home game of the season?

HAZEL HARRISON: Third goal at Field, Lowen United led 2-0 over Scunthorpe United, Brian Laws, is it 3-0?

It sure is, Scunthorpe United just cannot cope with the attacking prowess of the Lowen United side and particularly Juan Manuel Mata. His run down the left was unstoppable, his cross found CHAMAKH and he chested it down and volleyed home on the run, it is all over here at the Field, Lowen United have six points from two games!

Lowen United 3-0 Scunthorpe United (Chamakh, 66)

SID SMASH: Just hearing that Essendon FC’s day has gotten worse, Emmanuel Eboue has gone off injured in their game with Calvary FC where they are 2-0 down so far.

HAZEL HARRISON: Darlington All Stars and Wootton Wanderers were level moments ago when Jermain Defoe scored for All Stars, there has been another goal, which way has it gone?

Hazel, it has gone the way of the visitors, Wootton Wanderers retake the lead just 9 minutes after they lost it and again it is LUKAS PODOLSKI who has scored it. Horrendous mistake from Victor Valdes in the Darlington All Stars goal as he came out for a long, hopeful ball forward from Pedretti, Podolski beat him to it and couldn’t believe his luck as he rolled it into the empty net. Cracking game, it could still go either way!

Darlington All Stars 1-2 Wootton Wanderers (Podolski, 69)

SID SMASH: Poor goalkeeping from Valdes and I doubt the German striker has ever scored an easier goal than that!

HAZEL HARRISON: Well, Sid, Ruff FC were 2-0 up against Preston North End but three goals in six minutes saw the Lilywhites comeback to lead 3-2 at Gavestone Arena. More news from Craig Brown ...

Ruff FC are piling on the pressure as they look for an equaliser, Hazel, Preston North End defending valiantly but their job has just been made more difficult by the referee. Diego Forlan on the left wing and he was tackled late by David Gray who has been given a straight red card. Preston lead 3-2 but are down to ten men!

Ruff FC 2-3 Preston North End (David Gray sent off, 72)

SID SMASH: Heading into the final 20 minutes of the matches now, we’ll be back in a moment with all the excitement as the teams go looking for points today. Join us when we return!

[Greasy Chip Butty]

Saturday August 14th, 2010



SPORTS.tv ‘SOCCER SATURDAY’!
With Sid Smash and Hazel Harrison!

SID SMASH: Welcome back to ‘Soccer Saturday’ as we enter the final quarter of an hour here on the opening day of the season in the Premier League. Who will be able to score late goals to earn a victory or snatch a point?

HAZEL HARRISON: Another goal at the Colonial Stadium, Sid. Alan Brazil has the details ...

14 minutes left, Hazel, Emurica FC have gotten sloppy and they have let Solent Galaxy back into the game here. Vidal and Zigic combined on the break and the big striker fed the ball into the path of DIMITAR BERBATOV who sidefooted home to give the Galaxy fans some hope.

Emurica FC 3-1 Solent Galaxy (Berbatov, 76)

SID SMASH: Thanks for that, Alan, three of our games have yet to see a goal ... or maybe just two now, Hazel?

HAZEL HARRISON: The Coliseum, Premier League, Capite Ad Calcem against AFC Slough, the deadlock has been broken ...

DAVID BENTLEY has scored it, Hazel, but before the Slough fans get too excited ... he has scored it at the wrong end of the ground! Zhirkov’s corner from the left for Capite Ad Calcem found Kolo Toure and his free header was going in the far corner, Jamie Carragher put the pressure on Bentley as he attempted to clear it and the ball ended up squeezing in the corner of the net. Terrible luck for AFC Slough but I doubt the Romans care a jot!

Capite Ad Calcem 1-0 AFC Slough (Bentley og, 78)

SID SMASH: Terribly unfortunate for David Bentley but not for Capite Ad Calcem who lead in a dull, tight game there at the Coliseum. Is there any way back for AFC Slough?

HAZEL HARRISON: Deadlock broken at Wastelands as well, Sid, Dustbin Rovers home to Millwall in the Championship. Steve Claridge is there!

Poor game here, Hazel, not the greatest to watch but at least we now have a goal. Dustbin Rovers have got it and they just about deserve it. Mulumbu out to the left, Whittingham’s low cross and STEPHANE SESSEGNON got in front of the defender to fire home from four yards out at the far post. At last we have a goal!

Dustbin Rovers 1-0 Millwall (Sessegnon, 80)

SID SMASH: The French winger playing in what looks like the French kit there at Wastelands, he scores and it is 1-0 to Rovers.

HAZEL HARRISON: We won’t see a 0-0 draw at all today, Sid, the final game without a goal has got one now! Real Clifton home to Chelsea Australia at The Park ... Gabby Yorath is there ...

Thanks, Hazel, a tight and scrappy game here, neither side deserves to win it but it looks like Real Clifton will as they are in front. Van Der Vaart with the corner, MACHEDA with the header from six yards that just about trickled into the net and we have our first goal as well.

Real Clifton 1-0 Chelsea Australia (Macheda, 81)

HAZEL HARRISON: Thinks she can get my job no doubt by flirting with you, Sid ...

SID SMASH: Errr, Hazel, we’re back on air. Thanks, Gabby. 1-0 to Real Clifton and they are ten minutes away from a home win to start their season off.

HAZEL HARRISON: Sorry about that, Sid. Final few minutes of the games now, Lowen United have extended their lead to 4-0, Brian Laws ...

They have indeed, Hazel. And it is a hat-trick for MAROUANE CHAMAKH on his home debut for the club. Once again, Juan Manuel Mata with the assist, his fourth of the game, Chamakh heading home his corner to seal the win. 4-0, seven minutes remaining.

Lowen United 4-0 Scunthorpe United (Chamakh, 83)

SID SMASH: Dominant display from Lowen United, they look like they mean business!

HAZEL HARRISON: Goal at Pelham Road, Rushden Phoenix were leading 1-0 at Southsea Athletic, a second goal has been scored ...

The home fans ... are drifting to the exits, Hazel, 2-0 to Rushden Phoenix with 5 minutes remaining. Another stunning strike from outside the box, 25 yards ish, from BASTIAN SCHWEINSTEIGER who rattles this one along the ground and into the corner, no chance for Shay Given on either goal. Southsea Athletic do not deserve to lose this game but it looks like they will do.

Southsea Athletic 0-2 Rushden Phoenix (Schweinsteiger, 85)

SID SMASH: Two stunners from the German midfielder, Bastian Schweinsteiger, what a debut for him today. Big news from the Gavestone Arena, Hazel?

HAZEL HARRISON: Yeah, it was 3-2 to ten man Preston, there has been another goal ...

Equaliser for Ruff FC, Parker and Pazzini setting up ABOU DIABY to fire it low and hard past the keeper, Andy Lonergan, who should have done better, I think. Preston North End unlucky not to hold on but it had been coming for a while ... Can they hold on for a point?

Ruff FC 3-3 Preston North End (Abou Diaby, 86)

SID SMASH: ‘Ruff’ justice on Preston North End ...

HAZEL HARRISON: Oh dear, that is terrible, Sid. Let’s move on, shall we? Extraordinary developments at Skerne Field, Ian Rush!

Yes, Hazel, Wootton Wanderers still lead 2-1 here but they have just been reduced to NINE men! First of all, LUKAS PODOLSKI lunged in on Raul Albiol and was quite rightly sent off with a straight red card and then his strike partner CARLOS VELA got involved with a tirade of abuse at the referee, he was given a second yellow card and now he is off as well. Wootton Wanderers’ strikers both sent off, good job they’ve already got the goals that might win it although they have a tense few minutes to hang on now! Darlington All Stars have been pressing and they should be level, can they get the goal now against nine men?

Darlington All Stars 1-2 Wootton Wanderers (Podolski and Vela sent off, 86)

SID SMASH: Ridiculous from both strikers, manager Paul Lambert will be furious with Podolski and Vela there. But Podolski’s goals mean that they still lead 2-1!

HAZEL HARRISON: Essendon and Calvary FC now, it was 2-0 to Calvary ...

Game over now, Hazel. Most of the crowd here at Windy Hill are heading home, poor defending from a corner, WAYNE ROONEY heads home at the near post, Calvary lead 3-0 and, to be quite honest, Essendon have done enough to deserve a point, the difference in strikers making the difference. Rooney and Van Persie have took their chances, Gilardino, Walcott and Doyle have missed theirs even though they’ve had more. 3-0 to Calvary FC!

Essendon FC 0-3 Calvary FC (Rooney, 87)

SID SMASH: Moving into injury time now, who can snatch a late goal in our games?

HAZEL HARRISON: Goal at The Park, Real Clifton led 1-0 against Chelsea Australia ...

Hi Hazel, Hi Sid! Sid, what a goal you’ve missed. Pavlyuchenko, Hernandez and Van Der Vaart comining to send FEDERICO MACHEDA through, he slots home with ease, 2-0 to Real Clifton. And that Federico Macheda is almost as good looking as you, Mr. Smash! Back to you, Hazel!

Real Clifton 2-0 Chelsea Australia (Macheda, 90)

SID SMASH: Err, thanks, Gabby. Three points secured there at The Park by Federico Macheda, good start for Real Clifton!

HAZEL HARRISON: (looks irritated) Goal at the Colonial Staidum, Sid, if you can stop drooling over Gabby Yo-Yo ... Yorath, for a moment.

The ten men of Solent Galaxy putting up a real fight here, Hazel, pouring men forward to get a goal and they’ve got one! Tom Cleverley hit the post and from the rebound LIAM RIDGEWELL made it 3-2 to the hosts. Can Solent Galaxy complete the comeback?

Emurica FC 3-2 Solent Galaxy (Ridgewell, 90)

SID SMASH: Running out of time but great effort from Galaxy there, any more goals Hazel? Time is ticking away!

HAZEL HARRISON: Yes, we have a goal deep in stoppage time at the Creekside Arena! Fareham Fallguys led Middlesbrough by 2-1, fourth goal has been scored, who has got it?

It has gone to the home side, Hazel, Matt Etherington with the corner, Eto’o flicked on and BREDE HANGELAND headed into the corner. Hazel, just so you know, I still love you even if Sid doesn’t!

Fareham Fallguys 3-1 Middlesbrough (Hangeland, 90)

SID SMASH: For goodness sake, why did we let him on the show? Full time whistles are going around the country, any more goals Hazel?

HAZEL HARRISON: Doesn’t look like it, Sid. Just waiting on one game to finish ... game over. No more goals to report!

SID SMASH: Great afternoon of football, let’s get the full time results!

Capite Ad Calcem 1-0 AFC Slough
Darlington All Stars 1-2 Wootton Wanderers
Discworld 1-0 Dockland South
Emurica FC 3-2 Solent Galaxy
Essendon FC 0-3 Calvary FC
FC Freljord 0-1 Stratford Rangers
Real Clifton 2-0 Chelsea Australia
Shire FC 1-0 Kuda Laut Gemilang
Southsea Athletic 0-2 Rushden Phoenix

HAZEL HARRISON: In the Championship, these are the full time results!

A1 FC 1-0 Sheffield United
Coventry City 1-3 Saku FC
Darlington Rangers 1-0 Hull City
Dustbin Rovers 1-0 Millwall
Fareham Fallguys 3-1 Middlesbrough
Horden All Stars 3-0 Doncaster Rovers
Lowen United 4-0 Scunthorpe United
Ruff FC 3-3 Preston North End

SID SMASH: Thanks for joining us today on ‘Soccer Satruday’ on SPORTS.tv!

HAZEL HARRISON: We’ll see you later for the Premier League opener between New Bloc and Shakhtar Senseless! Goodbye!

[MattieCoopz]

Very positive improvements after the loss to PNE in the first game of what is sure to be an exciting season.
Also very encouraging to see a variety of players get themselves on the scoresheet in the process as well.
This commentary malarkey GCB is pretty hilarious indeed! KUTGW

PS: Shane Long looking like a good buy perhaps, irrelevant as it maybe (even though I'm a fan of the mighty Chelsea xD)

[o1000100]

Another win for Saku!!
Too bad we dropped out of the league cup so early though

[toonbalmy87]

Press Conference

DAS Chairman has called this press conference to discuss the recent result in the EPL

Press Hello Mr Chairman i would like ask your thought's on your clubs recent match against Wooton

Chairman Well i think you got there name wrong its Whoton Wanderers . well from what i saw there tactics were despicable first game of season two players sent what are they suppose to be that team from Vinnie Jones movie its suppose to be football not who can kick the other team harder. Although we didnt exactly play well i think i am going to have to sit down with Mr Howe and have a talk with him about this setback.

Press Don't you think that is a bit harsh dont you think they deserved there win afterall they were down to 9 men and you still couldn't take advantage

Chairman Do you know who you are talking too please can someone remove this ****h*** before i fit my size 12 sideways. onto the next question please

Press What did you think of the goal your team scored?

Chairman Well total football really wasn't it they showed what they can do when they put there heads together and work as a team

Press Will you be bringing any new players into the team?

ChairmanI hope we will be bringing a couple of new faces were contacting few agents at the moment and waiting to hear from them Bring me the horizon blast out sorry i will have stop this press conference goodbye and goodnight.

[jimbowmanuk]

Lowen Chronicle

Injuries? They don't Mata

Lowen United displayed a truly Championship winning performance today, despite 4 key players out with concernable injuries, young Spanish winger Mata showed that his ability to pick out the players was a sight to behold, setting up all 4 goals in their, well one can only describe as, easy victory showed he recieved the praise from the media taking the shine off Chamakh's debut hat-trick, hopefulluy the low age will keep the big teams at bay til after the transfer window. Manager McLeish was also in joyous mood "People said I couldn't cope with a club of this stature but I think so far I'm proving them wrong" Positive words there from the Lows manager long may it continue.

[Almondo]

Shire FC chairman gives first press conference following his side's home win over Kuda Laut Gemilang.

Frodo Baggins: Ladies and gentlemen of the press I am happy to answer any questions about today's game.

Press: Mr Baggins what did you think of your team's game today?

FB: Well the result was a good one although I would have liked another goal. However without three of our attacking players in Snodgrass, Bojan and Pandev the other members of the team stepped up and got us the win, most notably Gabby Agbonlahor.

Press: What did you think of the goal?

FB: It was great, we knew that was what he was capable of and it's why we were determined to keep him when he was drafted to us even with at least one other club looking to sign him. Ladies and Gentlemen I will only be taking two more questions as I have a meeting to get to.

Press: Can we expect any more signings from your side before the transfer window shuts?

FB: As you know I don't generally take any part in player acquisitions even though I did sign a couple of the players we have here, but that was before Roy Keane joined us. I have full confidence in the Manager of this team and he has the money to go out and buy players as he already has done.

Press: Can you give us your thoughts on the comments made by the New Bloc chairman earlier this week?

FB: I 'm glad you brought that up as I totally agree with him. This is the greatest league in the world and yet some chairmen seem to have decided that they shouldn't even introduce us to their teams. I believe that it takes away from the league if you don't do that and as a chairman although you have a manager in place you should really take a big interest and actually do something before the tart of the season.

Now ladies and gentlemen I have to go to a meeting but I will leave you now in the capable hands of the team manager. Frodo Baggins gets up and leaves to the sound of The Dropkick Murphys.

[arkitekt]

Finally a Shakhtar Senseless statement will be made tomorrow

[ejldude]

Dockland South Post-Match Press Conference

Tony Pulis: "Obviously we're dissapointed with the loss, but it was a close game away from home. Hopefully things can improve next week. People always write us off as an ugly club, which I think is unfair especially considering we just played against Carlos Tevez. You can't get much uglier."

"Anyway, I know you all want to speak to the other bloke so I'll be off."

[NicKC13573]

EMURICA F.C. NEWS CONFERENCE

"We are happy about the win; however, the defense after they went down to 10 men is concerning. We must not get complacent when our lead is so large. We are pleased with the progress of everyone. Zlatan and Clint are going to be a good 1-2 punch.

[Sheriff 1993]

Rushen Phoenix Chairman T.H.E. Sheriff gave this statement from his secret base on the dark side of the moon. "I am very proud of the players today. We managed to win in a tough away fixture thanks to Bastian’s 2 fantabulous strikes. I hope we can continue and... The statement ended abruptly. Many speculate that this was due to an alien invasion of the moon although this cannot be confirmed at this moment in time.