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Thread: Player names that make you go WTF

  1. #1
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    First of all, this is my first topic here /wave. Been lurking these forums a bit and decided it was time to make a topic.

    I think everybody who has some CM/FM experience knows the feeling. You're either scouting or playing a team, and you stumble on a player that just makes you go 'what the hell'. This could be cause it's a funny combination of names, an incomprehensible last name, or maybe even no last name at all. This is the topic to show these players

    I'll start out on a last name that really surprised me:

    Reza Who?

    Curious to see what you've found!

    Regards

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    Bjeurn

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    I think it is pronounced Reza Retrainasawinger

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    Originally posted by SWaRFeGa:
    Bjeurn
    I'm not too surprised ya said that . Would be the Dutch pronounciation of my first name (Björn). Registered like that when I just wanted to lurk :P.

    Any way, I wonder how they fitted that on his shirt

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    zlatan ljubranjic

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    Thadogs Bollochs

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    I'd love to see a screen of that last one .

    Anyway, do you guys think this coach is ever gonna be succeful in England?

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    Brian Pinas is and will always be my favorite!

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    Originally posted by Bjeurn:
    I'd love to see a screen of that last one .

    Anyway, do you guys think this coach is ever gonna be succeful in England?
    Haha

    Not regens but I remember the old games, which had gems like; Raphael Scheidt at Celtic.

    What about the cricketer for England whose name is pronounced Mask-er-anus.

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    Childish but..
    Andre Muff
    Mohammed Mohammed

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    Isaác Cox

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    zlatan ibrahimovic

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    That lad Supaporn who was in 07 was a good one.

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    Ralf Minge

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    When i saw tottenham were going for a new goalkeeper i got excited...until i saw his name

    Maarten Stekelenburg

    haha imagine that on the back of your shirt

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    david battymen

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    paul gascoin

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    for some reason i cant get a screenie, but when your next on FM08 look at jason shade of sheff utd. His full name 'according to si' is very dodgy.

    will try and get a screenie for you

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    yea ive just seen it
    its truely funny

    Jason dark sun shades

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    Waldo Ponce.

    Stick him on your shortlist for amusing news stories such as "Manager chases Ponce"

    Good times

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    his official Full name is , say S Utd. Hence leaving him NFE ... that is true, i have not edited it at all... you check yourself

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    harry prince
    was one that made me laugh

    sort by last name

    prince , harry

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    Originally posted by saulty2805:
    his official Full name is , say S Utd. Hence leaving him NFE ... that is true, i have not edited it at all... you check yourself
    Yeah, what's going on with that?

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    Is saying Rod Fanni just immature?

    If so, never mind!

    There was a regen on m game (not at my club) called Scott Scott. His cruel parents!

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    When I managed Botafogo in FM 06 I had a brazilian regen named Jürgen Hitler.

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    Probably one of those infamous "name in the game" players. I am glad SI got rid of them!

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    Originally posted by Tim Madisun:
    Waldo Ponce.

    Stick him on your shortlist for amusing news stories such as "Manager chases Ponce"

    Good times

    lol, done that before :P

    also did it with a regen caled Flavio Weiner

    "X" chases Weiner

    how mature :P

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    I've seen a regen called John Godsman

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    If I ever feel down, I just have a look at the China squad or Iraq squad.

    Makes me laugh every time.

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    It took me a few moments to work out how to cheer for this guy Dalibor Crkvenjakov but by far the best name is Cook Islander, Lemon Moo.

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    I remember a Swiss stadium with the word Wanktof in the name. Current game, 2007. 802 patch...

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    Stade de Suisse Wankdorf, home of BSC Young Boys. Its a well known thing backpackant, they rebuilt the stadium from the old Wankdorf but its still in the name.

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    Elliot Elliot.

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    All the players from Madagascar.

    I don't understand how they all have such incredible last names.

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    I've always liked the fact that there were two Przemyslaw Kazimierczak's in the game!

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    On my last save on '07 I signed a striker who scored on his debut for me (At Atletico Madrid).

    The commentary was great:

    "And the fans chant Ignacio Diaz De Cerio's name!!"..

    Exactly how? And to the tune of what?

    I subsequently changed his name to simply "Diaz".

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    Creedence Clearwater Couto

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    Originally posted by Starr_Man5:
    On my last save on '07 I signed a striker who scored on his debut for me (At Atletico Madrid).

    The commentary was great:

    "And the fans chant Ignacio Diaz De Cerio's name!!"..

    Exactly how? And to the tune of what?

    I subsequently changed his name to simply "Diaz".
    Ignacio Diaz de Cerio, fa la la la la, Ignacio Diaz de Cerio, faaa la la la la la

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    Some regen made me almost p!ss myself...CAMPBELL DICK...The headline...Wenger chases Dick...ROFLMFAO!!!!!!

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    Originally posted by route1:
    There are a few Benders in Germany.....Lars plays for 1860 Munich.

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    Didi Ben-Lulu is currently a right back for sevilla on mine

    also, on one of the old versions, i had a grey player called Pete Hercules

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    In one game I had a player called Willie Hunter

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    I had a regen on 07 called 'Potato'.. He didnt turn out very good, and then there is a player in the Tottenham youth called Troy Archibald-Henville.. Imagine putting that name on a shirt!

  45. #45

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    My favourite CM2 regen was Paddy Le Saux!

  46. #46
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    german

    stefan kuntz

    beautiful, just beautiful

    2 world wars eh? ha ha

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    Two regens stick out for me from a 01/02 clan game I played...

    Chocolate (and was Nigerian!)
    James Brilliant (who was rubbish)

  48. #48
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    Originally posted by Bassman666:
    german

    stefan kuntz

    beautiful, just beautiful

    2 world wars eh? ha ha
    That reminds me of a John Motson commentary at a finals (can't remember which one).

    "And Germany are about to make a substition... Kuntz..."

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    this year so far ive found Yu Sup, Waldo Ponce and the winner young Benfica striker Wang Gang

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    I have a youngster come through the academy - Scott Scott !!

  51. #51
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    There is apparently a South African player in the database with the surname Hitler so in theory, a South African regen could pick it up at some point.

    I'm still fond of Pheng Pheng Pheng Pheng of Vietnam. And I suppose my star Japanese players first name of Yusuke (You suck) is pretty cool. One of my youth strikers though has an awesome name... Fabrizio Zonzini. Dubbed the next Andy Selva, no less.

  52. #52
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    Originally posted by Nobby_McDonald:

    That reminds me of a John Motson commentary at a finals (can't remember which one).

    "And Germany are about to make a substition... Kuntz..."
    Euro 96, Motson was talking about Germany winning the last few games...then came out with Kuntz hehe

    I signed a physio with the last name of Gay...

    Message came up "Gay signs for Southampton"

    I assumed it was John O'Shea but alais is wasnt.

  53. #53
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    Armand One plays for TPS (Finland) in my game. He's from France so I'm not sure if that's a common surname or what.

  54. #54
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    I don't know if they're in the game, but three real players:

    Have-A-Look Dube
    Danger Fourpence
    Bongo Christ

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    Originally posted by Y@$H!:
    Some regen made me almost p!ss myself...CAMPBELL DICK...The headline...Wenger chases Dick...ROFLMFAO!!!!!!
    God thats feckin brilliant, mate.

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    Originally posted by Bassman666:
    german

    stefan kuntz

    beautiful, just beautiful

    2 world wars eh? ha ha
    You must remember the original video for 'Three Lions' - banned by the Beeb - which had the German wall with all the players sporting 'kuntz' on the backs of their shirts

    Danger Fourpence
    Bongo Christ
    NickT - Seriously? Who do they play for? There is a real-life Bungo Singh in India - should be in the game.

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    Almost fell off my couch when my new lot of academy players came in, a kinky cross-dressing Zimbabwean...LOVELACE SIBANDA!!!!!!!

    Pity he was sh!te and I had to release him...maybe he'll also join LA Galaxy and sent off against Argentina in a World Cup!!!

  58. #58
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    Originally posted by Shiny223:
    quote:
    Originally posted by Y@$H!:
    Some regen made me almost p!ss myself...CAMPBELL DICK...The headline...Wenger chases Dick...ROFLMFAO!!!!!!
    God thats feckin brilliant, mate.


    Ha ha, yep...some classics too from commentary when playing him:

    * "Dick hit the post" * yow that must'v hurt
    * "The crowd chant Dick's name" * the perv's!!
    and the classic...
    "Dick should've scored" LOL hahahahaha

  59. #59
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    Originally posted by Y@$H!:
    quote:
    Originally posted by Shiny223:
    quote:
    Originally posted by Y@$H!:
    Some regen made me almost p!ss myself...CAMPBELL DICK...The headline...Wenger chases Dick...ROFLMFAO!!!!!!
    God thats feckin brilliant, mate.


    Ha ha, yep...some classics too from commentary when playing him:

    * "Dick hit the post" * yow that must'v hurt
    * "The crowd chant Dick's name" * the perv's!!
    and the classic...
    "Dick should've scored" LOL hahahahaha


    Dick heads wide?

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    there is a player called hobbit, i believe he is mexican

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    [QUOTE]Originally posted by skintsaint:

    Message came up "Gay signs for Southampton"[QUOTE]

    im sure that could be said about most of your players!

  • #62
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    On earlier verson of CM there was a Thai player called Bamrong Boonprom
    Always thought it was afunny name!

    Oh and he's real!
    Boonprom

  • #63
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    okay ive seen a few on my current game...

    my german star striker johan geyer
    then my centre back is kunze

    there was a guy called curtis jackson (nickname him 50cent perhaps?)

    and then realmadrid have a defender called kalashnikov (hes a real gun of a player!)

  • #64
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    Originally posted by skintsaint:
    quote:
    Originally posted by Y@$H!:
    quote:
    Originally posted by Shiny223:
    quote:
    Originally posted by Y@$H!:
    Some regen made me almost p!ss myself...CAMPBELL DICK...The headline...Wenger chases Dick...ROFLMFAO!!!!!!
    God thats feckin brilliant, mate.


    Ha ha, yep...some classics too from commentary when playing him:

    * "Dick hit the post" * yow that must'v hurt
    * "The crowd chant Dick's name" * the perv's!!
    and the classic...
    "Dick should've scored" LOL hahahahaha


    Dick heads wide?


    Dick is really up for this match.

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    Can't remember which team he plays for, but there is a Danny Shittsu

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    Originally posted by phnompenhandy:
    quote:
    Danger Fourpence
    Bongo Christ
    NickT - Seriously? Who do they play for? There is a real-life Bungo Singh in India - should be in the game.

    Apparently Danger Fourpence plays for Caps Utd, and I don't know who he plays for but Bongo is from Congo. As far as I can tell, neither is in the game.

    Few more at http://nameoftheyear.blogspot.com/2007/04/zimbabwe-is-f...s-danger-brains.html

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    my favourite is from real life - he plays for morocco i think - Rectum Salami - makes me chuckle every time

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    ivanschitz!!!!!

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    i went to the world cup in germany and my dad wouldnt let me get a germany shirt with Kuntz on the back. dunno why, hes a real player.

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    i've just sold a nigerian kid called Sunday Monday and also my scouts noticed a young french kid called...Eric Cantona...hmmmm. although he's not actually great and he's a LB

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    Originally posted by arsenal_2111:
    Is saying Rod Fanni just immature?

    If so, never mind!

    There was a regen on m game (not at my club) called Scott Scott. His cruel parents!
    I'm from South Africa and there was a TV presenter by the name of Scott Scott

  • #72
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    Haha yep me too James_33, good old curly haired MNet presenter....oh and dont forget Gerald de Kock

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    I found two Diego Maradona's

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    In FM2007 there was a nigerian player called Ice Cream!

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    season 31

    name:
    Friday Sunday

    He was also in fm 07 and 06

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    I needed some new strikers after reverting to a 4-3-3 ...what a three-"pronged" attack with these guys:

    Steve Short
    Matthew Dick
    Michael Mann

    Now picture them in your tactics screen...

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    Originally posted by Quacky:
    Stade de Suisse Wankdorf, home of BSC Young Boys. Its a well known thing backpackant, they rebuilt the stadium from the old Wankdorf but its still in the name.
    Oh man... anyone remember the Soccernet headline regarding that? Truly legendary.

    Young Boys' Wankdorf erection woe.

    And then, two years later, Young Boys Wankdorf erection relief.

    Whoever came up with those headlines deserves a pay rise.

  • #78
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    Originally posted by Dreaded Walrus:
    quote:
    Originally posted by Quacky:
    Stade de Suisse Wankdorf, home of BSC Young Boys. Its a well known thing backpackant, they rebuilt the stadium from the old Wankdorf but its still in the name.
    Oh man... anyone remember the Soccernet headline regarding that? Truly legendary.

    Young Boys' Wankdorf erection woe.

    And then, two years later, Young Boys Wankdorf erection relief.

    Whoever came up with those headlines deserves a pay rise.


    that is legendary.

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    nick coward

    not that funny,but still coward.

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    Masahiro Nakashita... Duisburg physio, quite a good one I think

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    Who could forget the seemingly indefatiguable Kuntz dribbling up and down the wing ...

    Danny Shittunot!

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    ][/URL]


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    In EHM, theres a player called Fukufuji. Sounds like hes really annoyed with a camera firm.

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    Originally posted by Jakey_q:
    ][/URL]


    im sure the queen would love dick, only at a reasonable price though.

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  • #86
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    Had a youth regen this season named Prince Cornwall (honest).

    I'm sure Madge would be proud of her grandkiddies for getting in the Bournemouth setup.

    He's actually not a bad left winger and I envisage good things of him.

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    had a regen called "Nikola Hadziahmetovic"
    Also "Tommy de ****"
    And in the Preston Under 18s: "DJ Dickford" (also a regen)

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    Tal Shitrit an isreli referee

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    In my save there's a regen at Tamworth with the rather excellent name Phil Brazil.

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    I just had a player play against me in the Russian league called Oh Bum-Suk.

    And he's not a regen! Made me chuckle, it did.

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