What grinds your teeth

Whilst playing as Go Ahead Eagles and being bummed by the AI in every game it would seemingly be, despite doing well yesterday, I decided to vent my anger by coming up with a list of things which we all see in the game but can't help but laugh from Defenders with the turning circle of a bus, to last minute wondergoals. Add to the list and carry on.

1 - Defenders with the turning circle of a bus which allows the striker a clean route on goal without any real pressure on him resulting in an almost certain goal.

2 - Goalkeepers that think they're outfield players and are some kind of Samba god. Just because you have a Brazilian doesn't mean that you can play like one.

3 - Seemingly unwinnable games. You know the ones, you have complete possession in the opposition half and have a number of chances and can hit every inch of the goal apart from the bit between the two posts, the opposite team goes up the other end and scores their first, and only shot.

4 - Offside goals. The ones that you can blatantly see are offside yet the assistant and referee are oblivious to the fact and end up costing your team a result.

5 - Your team is completely better in every department than your opposition, there should be no question of who will be playing better and having the best chances. Your opposition.

6 - Goalkeeper own goals. Nothing wrong with them but how often do you see them in real life? 1 maybe 2 a season? I've had 2 in 2 games.

7 - The opposition penalties always seem to precise within the 90 minutes, haven't seen one miss in ages but I've missed my last two. Okay.

8 - The amount of injuries. I don't do my training normally and I fail to see how there can be so many injuries in my games, I get at least 2 a game. Wether they're little knocks or full blown ones I always anticipate the news headline; XXXX out for XXX months/days/weeks

9 - Last minute equalisers or winners for your opposition when you've worked so hard for the victory

Well going 2-0 up and then losing 3-2 against an opponent you were meant to lose to, but surprisingly took the lead over.. is sure frustrating. #3 on your list though is frustrating.

Oh and as to own goals, it seems like all a player has to do is fart in the general direction of the ball to get it credited to him. I had one player that shot a cracking shot from 30 yards, it glanced past a player of mine, it didnt even change speed or direction, yet it got classed as an offside goal and credited to the player it glanced by. That was annoying.

1 - Defenders with the turning circle of a bus which allows the striker a clean route on goal without any real pressure on him resulting in an almost certain goal.

This, not just the bus-like defenders but the complete lack of basic covering behaviour by their supporting teammates in a back 4.

- When a ball gets played into the feet of a striker 5 yards off the edge of the box a FB shouldn't be going wide to get tight on a winger nor should the secondary CB be moving away from his own goal to get ultra tight on a secondary striker before a pass is even attempted

- When a striker receives to feet halfway between the edge of the box and the halfway line, and then starts to run at the back line the FBs should not be moving wide away from their CBs to go mark a winger tight. Nor should the inside CB be moving in a direct straight line towards his own goal

- When one striker drifts out slightly wide and receives, then acts to turn inside the CB, the other CB should not be moving out of said strikers potential path to goal so as to mark another attacker tight. He also should not stop dead as if to play offside while the striker in possession just waltzes through on goal

- in the same situation as above the far side FB should not be moving wide to mark tight. Basic defending means doing so as a unit

- similar to the last when an attack is happening down his own team's left flank, a right back should not be moving wide away from the point of the attack to get tight on a winger even if he is set to tight man marking

- when both centre halfs get caught out and a striker runs the channel for a ball in behind the defence, the opposite side full back should not be going towards the edge of the six yard near the far post and then looking to mark a wide man while one/two attackers run into the wide open central area

Having said all of that Agbonlahor is a beast because of these very issues

- Your defender is 1m away from the ball, but he waits for the 10m away opposition striker to come and get the ball...

- When first half end with draw, there is no team talk option for "I don't accept anything less than a win!"

When three of your players chase after the ball like school kids.

when you sign a player and within 2 months he wants to move somewhere else coz someone once said he was half decent and ruins your squads harmony

You play Chelsea the week before and beat them 2-0, then you come against a team like Sunderland for example, who are 18th in the league table, and they beat you 2-1! thanks to a sloppy mistake from Abou Diaby for example. Who had a storming game the week before.

And, you're playing Portsmouth and you dominate the game with 72% of the possesion and have 4 clear cut chances and Nwkano Kanu cmes on and scores with his 1st touch.

When an opposing Centre Half pulls out 6 key tackles and you then have a look at his attributes as he's played like a God and you discover he has a ONE for both tackling and marking.

other teams unsettling my best players....lordd have mercy XD

or when your players cant play the simplest little pass in history, give it away and the opposition score

* When its something like mid april so you are only a few weeks away from the end of the season and some random player you have never heard of before manages to score against you.... "Thats his first goal of the season!!!!".

* Players moaning that you dont praise them enough for the teams success, so you praise them then some time later they moan that they dont have to do much to get praise from you.

* Players who have been at the club for less than a complete season ending up on the club legends list while you who has lead the team to their first European glory in decades as well as back to back titles and domestic cups are stuck on the club favourites section.

or when your players cant play the simplest little pass in history, give it away and the opposition score

Yes, just happened in 94th minute against Bordeaux.. So annoying..!

*having a player worth 800k injure your £21m striker for 2 weeks in training

*winning 1-0 against Barca/Man utd/Inter etc. and having them score in the 93rd minute, when it was +2 extra time!

silly reuslts annony me more than anything, im Celtic, just won 6-0 against Rangers, and now ive just been beaten by Queen of the South! (not that i mind much they r my team irl and needed the win)

Playing Wellington Phoenix in the A-League (The best football club in New Zealand by far) and losing a third of your key players for the end of the season and the finals, every two years, due to how FM2010 handles an international competition involving New Zealand that doesn't exist anymore in real life football.

Oh - and when a key centre back keeps saying he wants to move to a bigger club, but can't make up his mind whether he wants to be on the transfer list or not.

Midfielders collecting the ball totally unmarked and going round in circles to give the opposition the chance to dash 30 yards and tackle him.

Hugo - you a Robert Rankin fan?

Oh my, yes. Imagine my joy when I discovered there was a Brentford team in the game

How about this. A defender of mine just received a 3.6 rating after his mistakes lead to two goals. After the match I fine him 2 weeks wages, sounds logical, right? Guess what, he then complains about being unfairly treated. You've got to be kidding me! I wish there was a way to fine him for a whole month just for having the nerve to complain after putting in just a pitiful performance. You don't like a 2 week fine, no problem, here's one for a month instead, and a small piece of advice, don't be a moron during matches.

How about this. A defender of mine just received a 3.6 rating after his mistakes lead to two goals. After the match I fine him 2 weeks wages, sounds logical, right? Guess what, he then complains about being unfairly treated. You've got to be kidding me! I wish there was a way to fine him for a whole month just for having the nerve to complain after putting in just a pitiful performance. You don't like a 2 week fine, no problem, here's one for a month instead, and a small piece of advice, don't be a moron during matches.

LOL tragic, but a two week fine is a little steep. I'd probably settle for a warning, slam his form and then drop him.

When your defensive midfielder (and captain) returns from suspension and immediately gets himself sent off. Then gets upset when I fine him! Good luck finding a new club, punk!

LOL tragic, but a two week fine is a little steep. I'd probably settle for a warning, slam his form and then drop him.

You really think it's steep? A 3.6 rating and personally responsible for 2 goals? In all honesty, I think he's getting off a bit easy. He's also not some average player but a world class defender. In real life a manager would of probably blown his top off in the changing room after the match. It would have a been a hair dryer treatment from one gigantic hairdryer.

I definately see where you're coming from, but i stand by my previous post. The same thing happened to John Terry last season when Chelsea played Spurs, Terry had a shocker and was responsible for two of their goals but i can find it hard to believe he'd of got fined. More like, as you say, the hairdryer treatment and a kick up the arse from a very big boot.

I definately see where you're coming from, but i stand by my previous post. The same thing happened to John Terry last season when Chelsea played Spurs, Terry had a shocker and was responsible for two of their goals but i can find it hard to believe he'd of got fined. More like, as you say, the hairdryer treatment and a kick up the arse from a very big boot.

Well, in real life we don't exactly get to find out what other punishment a manager gives a player, aside from getting angry with him after the match in the changing room. So you never know, Terry could of had a fine as well, it's just that it wasn't reported in the media, and the info was most likely never released to the public to begin with.

Dominating the opposition without just reward

Five injuries in pre-season friendly matches, ranging from a month off to sixth months off

u win 4-0 in convincing fashion, then you get a crash dump and end up playin the same match over and over again because your team wont beat them even 1-0 again