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  1. #1501
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    A good spread of nations there, looking forawrd to seeing how England progress

  2. #1502
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    Writer’s Notes: I’m going to do the World Cup Report differently to how I have done it in previous seasons. If it works, it should result in a much more streamlined report, which makes it easier to read and quicker to write.

    Update 168 and World Cup Report Part I

    Years: 14, Months: 168, Days: 5106


    So, all eyes have turned to Argentina where the World Cup is now underway. With World Champions Spain opening the tournament, they could get their campaign, to be the first side to capture three consecutive Jules Rimet trophies, right underway. They played Egypt, and, although the first half was disappointing from the Iberians, a goal from 30-year-old Chelsea winger Francesc five minutes into the second half was the first step towards that trophy retention. Andrés, Man City’s 29-year-old centreback, secured the result with a header ten minutes from time. In the other Group A match on the opening day, two penalties left Hungary and Uruguay level at 1-1, in a poorly-disciplined game that saw the South Americans go down to ten men six minutes into the second half.

    Spain may have taken a little while to warm up against Egypt, but in their match against Uruguay, the result was settled before half time. Another 2-0 win, the match saw the South Americans rather outclassed by their fellow Hispanophone country, and the beaten side took just four shots all match. Meanwhile, Egypt’s misery was compounded when they lost out in a close game against Hungary, with József Kulcsár netting the only goal in the 70th minute. Hungary also took the lead against Spain in their final group match, but were pegged back to a 1-1 draw in the last minute, thanks to a header from Napoli striker Daniel Resino. Egypt and Uruguay also drew, 2-2, which evidently wasn’t enough for either of them to go through.
    canvey!!’s Prediction:
    Spain, Uruguay, Hungary, Egypt
    Actual Result:
    Spain (7), Hungary (5), Uruguay (2), Egypt (1)
    Accuracy:
    80%

    Group B would be the logical next place to go, so go there we shall. The Group opened with goals galore, and all throughout the matches had a tendency to be high-scoring. A thriller between Cameroon and Australia saw the Australians, despite being both 0-2 and 2-3 down, win 4-3. To be honest, the Pacific nation had much greater control of the game, and they did in the end put in the gutsy performance to guarantee the points. In the other first game, Germany signalled their intent early on with a strong 3-0 victory over Colombia, all starting just after the half hour mark when Colombia’s Alex Navia got himself sent off. Germany went on to beat Cameroon 2-0, scoring very early (minute 3) and very late (minute 90+4), and they topped the group with a 1-0 victory over Australia. Ghanaian-born Valencia striker Peter Pond scored once in each match. Cameroon picked up their performance with a final-day 3-0 win over Colombia, but Australia, having beating the South Americans 5-0, with five different scorers, on matchday two, got second place.
    canvey!!’s Prediction:
    Germany, Australia, Cameroon, Colombia
    Actual Result:
    Germany (9), Australia (6), Cameroon (3), Colombia (0)
    Accuracy:
    100%

    In comparison, Group C was bereft of goals. Mexico and Argentina opened the group with a far-from-inspiring 1-1 draw, although Israel soon brightened things up with their match against China in Buenos Aires. With two goals from enthusiastic Beitar Jerusalem midfielder Felix Ben-Naim, the Blues and Whites beat their Oriental opposition 3-1. Furthermore, with their next match ending goalless against Argentina, you wouldn’t blame Israelis for holding hopes of qualification, even though Ben-Naim was stretchered off with an ankle sprain at the end of that game. In the final match however, a competitive fixture against Mexico, things went awry when six minutes into the second half, and with Mexico just 1-0 up, Israel’s Zion Adani (a grey) was sent off. Two goals in the last ten minutes quickly dashed Israel’s World Cup dream. China finished bottom of the group after losing their other two games, against Mexico and Argentina, both 0-2. Notably in the Mexico game, Giovani dos Santos, still going strong at the age of 33, netted a brace.
    canvey!!’s Prediction:
    Argentina, Mexico, Israel, China
    Actual Result:
    Mexico (7), Argentina (5), Israel (4), China (0)
    Accuracy:
    80%

    Let’s take a little break from the World Cup to head over to England. Fans are anticipating the new season, which sees Q.P.R., Sheffield Wednesday and Huddersfield back among the Premier League crop. All three, however, are predicted by both bookies and newspapers, to be back in the Championship next year. Lawrence Lazewski’s Man City are the favourites to take the title, and, although this same prediction is made every year, with the Citizens having won the Champions League three times from the last four, you can see where the idea is coming from. Chelsea, defending champions, are tipped to come second, followed by Arsenal and then Liverpool. Ipswich, who can expect a 14th-placed finish, have just appointed Ben Taylor to a managerial role after George Burley’s retirement. Let’s hope he does better here than he did at Parma, where he lasted all of 194 days. Blackburn are favourites to win the Championship for the first time since just before the war, and the Sun thinks Crystal Palace should be targeting automatic promotion too.

    Back to the World Cup then, with Group D. The United Arab Emirates were here, making their first World Cup appearance since 1990, and they didn’t disgrace themselves, although they didn’t pick up any points. Their opening match went very badly, at first at least, as they found themselves 0-3 down after half an hour. Their opponents, however, were former champions France, and they did only lose 1-3 in the end. Games against Romania and Nigeria also saw only narrow losses, 1-2 in both games. Egghead Dumitru Dobre scored both Romanian goals in the teams’ encounter. So, with the UAE losing all three games, everything was all to play for among the other teams. The winner between France and Nigeria comes as no surprise, as the Europeans ran out 4-2 victors in an exciting match. Romania also beat Nigeria; having had their first half lead nullified by Victor Obinna in the 45+1st minute, they netted an 82nd minute spot kick to win 2-1. So Romania and France would qualify, but in what order? An 83rd-minute goal for Horatiu Badea, who incidentally netted that penalty against Nigeria, settled a dull game in Avellaneda and put Romania through top.
    canvey!!’s Prediction:
    France, Nigeria, Romania, United Arab Emirates
    Actual Result:
    Romania (9), France (6), Nigeria (3), United Arab Emirates (0)
    Accuracy:
    60%

    Group E saw Italy as odds-on favourites, with second place open to anybody that could achieve the results. All games involving Italy saw three goals, while all others ended in far-from-exciting draws. Japan and Ireland neutralised each other with a 1-1 result in front of Steffan Leadbitter’s watchful refereeing eye in Buenos Aires. Ghana also put up a solid defence but poor attack in their games against Japan and Ireland, with both ending goalless. So that leaves Italy’s games. Ghana’s defence wasn’t so good against the Mediterranean country. Although they kept the scoresheet blank in the first half, a bit of a collapse saw the Italians take a 2-0 lead, and even going down to ten men couldn’t stop Italy from scoring a third. Ireland suffered a similar 0-3 fate at Italy’s hands, with 25-year-old Juventus midfielder Salvatore Constanzo netting a brace. Japan’s game against the Italians looked the be going a similar way: after 34 minutes, the Europeans were 2-0 up. Thankfully, for Japan at least, with 15 minutes left on the clock, 26-year-old Barcelona forward Naoya Sato capitalised on a poor Italian clearance to score. 2-1 Italy was the final score, and, if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll realise that that means Japan go through with Italy on goal difference.
    canvey!!’s Prediction:
    Italy, Japan, Ghana, Ireland
    Actual Result:
    Italy (9), Japan (2), Ireland (2), Ghana (2)
    Accuracy:
    80%

    Group F sees World Cup debutants Guatemala against six-times winners Brazil. The match between these two was a lot closer than one might think, however, with the teams going into the break goalless and with the Brazilians winning 2-0 in the end. This was after Switzerland had opened the group with a 2-0 victory over Iran. The two victors were pitted against each other in the next match, and Alexis Stival’s team dominated their Alpine opponents, running out 3-0 winners with a brace from Zaragoza’s Nicão. Switzerland, however, avenged that loss with a reversal of the scoreline in their final day match against Guatemala, and with a much greater dominance. Yet Guatemala didn’t embarrass themselves in the group: they won their second match, against Iran. Iran had greater possession, took more shots and indeed more shots on target, but fell to a 1-2 defeat with, naturally, Zaragoza striker Shahram Mozafari scoring their only goal. To add insult to injury, their match against Brazil in Rosario saw them 0-2 down after seven minutes, and they lost 0-7 overall, with both Atlético Madrid’s Coutinho and Napoli’s Choco netting braces for Brazil.
    canvey!!’s Prediction:
    Brazil, Switzerland, Iran, Guatemala
    Actual Result:
    Brazil (9), Switzerland (6), Guatemala (3), Iran (0)
    Accuracy:
    80%

    We’ll take another break from World Cup action, this time to look forward to the new season in Italy. Pundits are tipping A.C. Milan to take the Scudetto, even though Marco van Basten’s side only finished 6th last season. Defending champions Mikael Schøler’s Juventus are expected to drop down to third, with Inter filling the gap between Juvé and A.C.. Napoli are expected to finish off the top four, leaving Udinese and Roma out in the cold. I would bet money that the top four will not finish like that, however. As for the bottom, Lecce and Cagliari, two of the newly-promoted teams, are expected to get relegated, but the papers say Reggina can avoid the drop. Catania are the unlucky team expected to take their place. It comes as a surprise that Fiorentina aren’t favourites to win Serie B. That honour falls instead to Parma.

    We’ll continue our World Cup coverage with Group H, a group I felt was the most open and would be the most fun to watch. Having said that, one of the opening two games was the United States’ goalless draw with Portugal, but then the other was a six-goal thriller, with Denmark running out 5-1 winners thanks to a hattrick from former Napoli forward Nikola Saric. Denmark then went on to beat the United States in a close but exciting match, with Fenerbahçe midfielder Marco Paonessa scoring the only goal of the game just before half time. In their match against Chile, Portugal fans may have thought that another goalless draw was destiny, when Antunes missed a spot kick after 12 minutes. However, the corner from the resulting corner met the head of Rui Fonte, who gave his team the lead. Another Portuguese goal at the hour mark, this one the very first international goal of Napoli midfielder Hélder Trindade, gave them a 2-0 victory and put them in a fairly strong position in the group, knocking out Chile at the same time. The Chileans went on to lose their last match, 1-3 to the United States, with all goals scored in the first half. That meant that, depending on goals scored, defeat to Denmark could send Portugal out. They had the better of the match, but it was simple cruel fate that a Daniel Carriço own goal in the 20th minute knocked them out with a 0-1 defeat.
    canvey!!’s Prediction:
    United States, Chile, Portugal, Denmark
    Actual Result:
    Denmark (9), United States (4), Portugal (4), Chile (0)
    Accuracy:
    45%

    That just leaves Group G, containing Liam Ferguson’s England. The Three Lions started their campaign brilliantly, against the Côte d’Ivoire. Ivorian striker Djama Koutouan was shown a straight red for a two-footed tackle on Inter midfielder Matt Hazell. England went ahead through Joe Mattock in the 29th minute, and doubled their lead via Inter midfielder Chris Heslop three minutes later. Just two minutes later, however, the Ivorians grabbed a goal back through Barcelona’s Jacques Cissé, but Craig Robson struck to make it 3-1 before half time. The former Leicester captain hit another goal just short of the hour mark, to secure a 4-1 victory. Meanwhile, Croatia enjoyed almost as good a victory against Peru, beating the South Americans 3-1 with a brace from 26-year-old Dinamo Zagreb striker Ivan Milic. Croatia then built up a 3-0 lead in their match against the Côte d’Ivoire, thanks to the second hattrick of the tournament, from 24-year-old Grasshopper Zürich striker Matej Rodic. The Ivorians grabbed two goals back in the second half, but they couldn’t avoid defeat, and would be eliminated unless Peru beat England the next day.

    Peru didn’t do that, and instead succumbed to a 2-5 defeat in Buenos Aires. Matt Hazell opened the scoring in the 11th minute, with Andy Stones doubling the lead in the 34th. However, two minutes later, Peru grabbed one back, and, in the second half, levelled thanks to a header from Renzo Chacón. One might then expect the younger England players to let their heads drop, so you needed a veteran to keep things together. Here, therefore, Liam Ferguson came up with a masterstroke, substituting off Adam Pepper for a player three years his senior, Theo Walcott. Three minutes later, Walcott regained England the lead with a clinical finish after he got into a great position. After a further two minutes, a superb solo run saw Walcott beat a defender and then the goalkeeper on the way to making it 4-2. Despite playing for less than half an hour, his hattrick was complete in the first minute of stoppage time, although it seemed that the ball just bounced off his foot from Lee Taylor’s pass. 5-2 was the final score, securing qualification for England and Croatia, and denying it for the Côte d’Ivoire and Peru. The final games were just a formality; England beat Croatia 1-0, with Craig Robson netting in the penultimate minute of England’s absolutely dominant performance (Croatia managed one shot), while the Côte d’Ivoire beat Peru 3-2 with two goals from 36-year-old Salomon Kalou.
    canvey!!’s Prediction:
    Croatia, England, Côte d’Ivoire, Peru
    Actual Result:
    England (9), Croatia (6), Côte d’Ivoire (3), Peru (0)
    Accuracy:
    80%

    Time to cover transfers in a little detail now. Tyler Burrows continued his wheeling and dealing this month, selling Antonio Martino, of whom Udinese bought half from Siena last season, back to Siena for £750k. 20-year-old Livorno striker Paolo Mattioli arrived at Friuli for £575k. Lord Weeman also made one transfer at Napoli, signing 18-year-old Atalanta right winger Fausto Piazza for £1.2M. The biggest transfer of the month was that of 21-year-old left back Nicola Vitali, when A.C. Milan sold their half of him back to Neppo Monster’s Fiorentina for £15M. The fee, however, has not appeared in Monster’s profile, I don’t know why.

    So the group stages are over and half of the teams have been eliminated from the World Cup. We’ll start with the host nation and move outwards. Argentina were drawn against Romania, and, although the match stayed goalless until minute 42, and Romania looked to have the better of the play, the South Americans were 2-0 up at half time. A third goal seven minutes from time made Romania look much worse than they actually were. Meanwhile, Brazil met Japan. For all their pressure, the Brazilians just didn’t look capable of scoring, or Japan of conceding. That is until the 83rd minute, when Barcelona defender Andrade scored the only goal of the game when Japan failed to clear a Brazil corner. Next, Mexico played France, and could have been considered lucky to have gone ahead in the 13th minute. Nevertheless, France equalised less than ten minutes later, but weren’t able to take the lead until Armando Casanova got a straight red card for his two-footed tackle on Yannis Tafer. Two minutes later, Tafer was fouled again, this time in the penalty area by Mauricio de la Barrera, and Sofiane Feghouli scored the resulting spot kick to win France the game. Fourthly, the United States would play England in Buenos Aires, and the Americans were completely outclassed, although the only goal of the game was Adam Peppers turn-and-shoot in the 2nd minute, which left some very nervous England fans as the match reached the death.

    Those are all the American nations, with the two South American ones winning and the two North American ones losing. Other than Japan, the only other non-European team was Australia, who had a tough time of it up against Spain. The match, however, was goalless at half time, and goalless at full time. It took extra time for Spain to win, but win they did, with 29-year-old Barcelona midfielder Iñigo Fraile scoring in the 99th minute and Roma’s Bojan putting the result beyond doubt in the 114th. Italy also needed extra time to run out 2-0 winners. Despite bossing Switzerland quite categorically, they couldn’t score until Genoa’s Matteo Fabiani, wearing the Italian kit for just the third time, netted ten minutes before penalties would have been needed. Inter’s Marco Modica made it 2-0 in minute 120+1. Switzerland’s neighbours Germany were more successful, however, beating Hungary 2-0. The game was goalless at half time, but Bernd Böhm made it 1-0 five minutes after the restart, and Christian Weigl got the second five minutes after that. Germany’s own neighbours Denmark, for all their good performances in the group stages, found themselves 0-2 down to Croatia after 18 minutes. The game was actually much closer than that, but the Danes didn’t score until Magnus Troest’s goal in the 54th minute. Yet they couldn’t get the second, and although they were encouraged to a flurry of attacking after Ivan Milic’s 86th minute red card, they were unable to level the scores and lost 1-2.

    Next month, England’s campaign comes up against a real test, as Liam Ferguson’s team play a Quarter Final against Brazil, who this month netted the biggest World Cup finals win since 2002. If they were to win that, England would face Spain or Argentina. Meanwhile, Italy meet Croatia and Germany meet France. There are no easy matches any more. Also next month, our domestic managers sign some more players and prepare for the new season, and Man United, Genoa and Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona kick off their Europa League campaigns.

    Manager of the Update

    For his masterstroke in the game against Peru,

    Liam Ferguson
    , England (formerly of Man City)

    wins this award. With the score deadlocked at 2-2, Ferguson brought on Theo Walcott, who promptly netted a hattrick to send England into the second round.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5106
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5106
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   5106
       4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5106
         - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5106
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  3. #1503
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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
    Hall of the Stalemates – Top Ten Most Games Drawn at Current Club
    Code:
       Pos +- Username      Manager           Original Club Current Club Drn Percent Chnge
       1st  0 Romanista1994 Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  158 (19.2%) -0.5% *
       2nd  0 Haowan        Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    151 (17.8%) -0.2% *
       3rd -1 tomsmith1989  Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      150 (17.7%) -0.3% *
       4th  0 weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       146 (21.4%) -0.5% *
       5th  0 PluckaDuck    Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      134 (19.4%) -0.7% *
       6th +1 MikaelS       Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus      76 (20.2%) +0.3%
       7th +1 el sid        Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter         71 (19.1%) +0.6%
         - -1 spartans5     Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Man City      71 (19.1%) -2.1%
       9th +1 brettney1980  Brettney Joven    Wigan         Leeds         61 (23.2%) +0.1%
      10th NE canvey!!      Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Everton       30 (19.7%)  n/a

  4. #1504
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    Pffft terrible prediction in Group H
    Nice update canvey

  5. #1505
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    Portugal have really gone downhill!

    Update 169 and World Cup Report Part II

    Years: 14, Months: 169, Days: 5137


    We’ll get right under way with our World Cup report, starting with the Quarter Finals between Italy and Croatia and between Germany and France.

    The former of those two matches was eventful, with plenty of chances, falling almost exclusively to Italy, but some stellar Croatian defending and plenty of luck meant that the Italians were unable to score. Penalties were used to settle things, with both Croatia netting their first. Atlético Madrid ‘keeper Matteo Acquafresca, however, was able to save Luka Modric’s down-the-middle penalty, giving Italy the advantage as Andrea Mazzarani netted his spot kick. Sure enough, both sides scored their remaining penalties, meaning Italy won 5-4. Between France and Germany, there were also some penalties, but not at the end of the match; rather, at the start. Gabriel Obertan opened the scoring for France with his ninth-minute spot kick, only for the team to be pegged back by the Germans with a similar set-piece ten minutes later, converted by Peter Pond. Henri Saivet was then stirred into action, and netted in both the 31st and 37th minutes, giving France a 3-1 lead. But Germany fought back: nine minutes into the second half, Spanish-born forward Ángel Martínez Moreno made it 2-3, with grey player Daniel Fuchs levelling in ’66. Germany then went down to ten men due to a red card, but they managed to force extra time. Two minutes before its half time period, however, Yannis Tafer struck the goal that turned out to win his country the game. Gabriel Obertan had the chance to bookend his performance with another spot kick, but he hit it straight at the German ‘keeper.

    A break from World Cup action now to look at the transfer state in Italy. Lord Weeman’s Napoli made a couple of big moves this month, funding the £10.5M purchase of Palermo’s 23-year-old sweeper and defender Francesco Donati with the £12.5M sale of 20-year-old striker Luca Pastore to Rimini. Napoli also acquired 33-year-old goalkeeper Matteo Andreoletti from Frosinone, after the Alzanesi’s contract expired. Tyler Burrows bought half of Lecce’s 20-year-old striker Domenico Piccolo for £2.6M, and he also acquired three signing on free transfers, including 34-year-old Takayuki Morimoto, who was for years Weeman’s biggest sale and Cool Manager’s biggest purchase when he commanded a £21M price tag in his transfer from Napoli to Inter. Speaking of big transfers, this month’s biggest were two between A.C. Milan and Real Madrid, which I will cover later, and the £14.5M move of English leftback Bryan Thomson from Man City to Inter.

    Back to the World Cup, and to the game between hosts and holders. Spain faced Argentina, and, although the Argentines took the lead, in the 18th minute, they were 1-2 down at half time, 1-4 down at the end of the first half, and lost 1-5. While the teams weren’t that different in general performance, Spain finished clinically and ended up with the result that reflected that. Of note is Bojan’s five-minute double salvo between minutes 29 and 34. The second half was actually pretty bereft of action, but was livened up at the death by Iosu Alkorta’s 90+3rd minute goal, slotted into the bottom corner. Spain would go on to face Brazil or England, depending on the winner in Avellaneda. Coutinho gave Brazil the lead after just 11 minutes, with a powerful shot rifled into the top corner. But Adam Pepper’s headed goal (assisted by Bryan Thomson who was transferred above) gave England the equaliser just after the half hour mark, and by the time sixty minutes had elapsed, they were leading, thanks to Matthew Hill’s beautiful long-range shot. England had just minutes to hold on, but were undone by an equaliser from Choco in the 88th. Dalton’s shot straight from Renan’s goal kick was repelled by England ‘keeper Jacob Ball, but it fell straight to Choco who had an open net to shoot at. England went on to lose on penalties after some clinical spot kicks saw Brazil net all of theirs, meaning that England’s only miss was costly. Lord Weeman will surely be in a quandary; his player at Napoli cost Weeman’s country a World Cup Semi-Final place.

    I was going to start this paragraph with ‘fans in Spain are already looking forward to the new season’, but then I realised that they really aren’t. With the Iberian nation very much in the running for a third consecutive World Cup, all other matters have tended to be pushed to the backburner in Spain. Having said that, predictions have been emerging regarding this season’s final table, with Valencia favourites to win the title, despite some poor finishes in the past two seasons. Atlético Madrid are therefore expected to drop to second, followed by their rivals Real and then by Zaragoza. Bookies say Barcelona can get fifth place, and it is certainly a possibility, but equally possible is a slump to, say, 8th. Mallorca and Villarreal are two of the newly-promoted sides expected to survive, with Deportivo tipped to go back to where they were last season. Murcia and Gimnàstic are favourites to finish 19th and 20th respectively.

    As for transfers, Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid made five cash transfers this month. £500k was made when 29-year-old midfielder Marco Larini was sold to A.C. Milan and 28-year-old Czech attacking midfielder Karel Vagner being bought in return. The two fees were £14.75M and £14.25M. Another big signing was that of Argentine striker Emanuel Páez, whom I must say I am quite impressed by. The 22-year-old, who got his first international goal in Argentina’s group stage 3-0 win over Romania, joined for £7.25M from Betis. Incidentally, he feels that Karel Vagner should not take himself so seriously. Other transfers saw the £130k arrival of Colombian goalkeeper Carlos Alberto Guazá from River Plate, and the £110k departure of Uruguayan midfielder Carlos García to Celta. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona, meanwhile, were more modest in their spending, probably due to their being a Europa League team rather than a Champions League one. Madridstas brought in Danish goalkeeper Torben Christensen from Racing for £1.1M, and a 32-year-old Cézar Azpilicueta from Liverpool for £3.4M.

    The first World Cup Semi-Final took place between Brazil and Spain, and was certainly a case of the old world order finally giving way to the new. Neither side scored in the first half, but Choco, fresh from his exploits eliminating England, scored in the 71st minute to give Brazil the lead. Three minutes later however, they were pegged back by Juventus winger Joaquín Esteban, who capitalised on the very poor Brazilian marking that saw him free, among two other free colleagues, in the six-yard area. Juan Manuel Mata scored the winner in the 81st minute, in similar defensive circumstances albeit not in the six-yard box. The other Semi-Final was a fiercely contested match between Italy and France. With just under forty fouls overall, one of the first was one of the most important, as leftback Antonio Annunziata tripped Sofiane Feghouli in the box. Feghouli himself scored the spot kick. It looked like that goal would settle the game, but turned out to be far from the case. With nine minutes left on the clock, Mattia Destro was played on by attacking midfielder Christian Ricci, and the 31-year-old placed a sweet short into the far corner of the goal. Extra time came of course, and France retook the lead six minutes into it, with Moussa Sissoko’s shot deflecting off Italy centreback Paolo Ruggiero. Italy then went down to ten men with the red card given to Udinese central defender Davide Anaclerio, but they needn’t have worried: they drew level again through Fausto Rossi in the 113th minute, the 31-year-old scoring a clever lob of Hugo Lloris. I said that Annunziata’s foul was only one of the most important, as that of French winger Belkacem Renoux on Andrea Mazzerani was more important: it gave Italy the 120+3rd minute penalty that was converted to win the game at the death.

    Of course the World Cup wasn’t the only football taking place this month. Hundreds of hopeful clubs from across Europe took part in the qualifying stages of the Europa League and the Champions League, and, in the former, one of those clubs was our very own Barcelona. Haowan Madridstas’s side, as seeds, were drawn against HNK Sibenik of Croatia. The first leg, in the Balkans, saw Barça achieve a dominant 6-0 victory, and the Spanish team mirrored that at the Nou Camp for a 12-0 aggregate win. Also in Europa League action were Manchester United, who beat Norway’s IK Start 10-0 on aggregate, and Genoa, who knocked out Belarussian side FC Gomel with a 4-0 overall win.

    Brazil and France had had their World Cup chances taken away from them, but there was still the opportunity for the consolation prize of third place. They met in Buenos Aires, and, just like in the match against England, a Coutinho goal in the 11th minute opened the scoring. This time, the 30-year-old let loose a powerful curling shot that went into the top corner. France, however, were back in contention before the half hour mark, with Sofiane Feghouli’s corner bouncing off the head of 33-year-old defensive midfielder Rafael Carioca and into the net. But Brazil were the better side, and they retook the lead within eight minutes, thanks to Nicão’s brilliantly-taken free kick. Nicão got a second in the 66th minute in an embarrassing incident for France. Goalkeeper Hugo Lloris came out to meet the ball in the left fullback position, and passed it to Moussa Sissoko. Sissoko, however, then played a pass across the field, which Nicão intercepted. The Brazilain then rifled a long range shot into the open goal. Barcelona’s Marquinhos completed the victory in the 88th minute, scoring Brazil’s fourth goal, another deadly free kick.

    Lawrence Lazewski
    has opened the Man City checkbook this summer, spending no less than £49M on four players, and boosting the fortunes of Portsmouth and Crystal Palace in the process. From the Eagles, Lazewski signed 27-year-old central midfielder Gregory Cazaux for £11.75M and 29-year-old Uruguayan centreback Diego Viana for £11M. 23-year-old leftback Dean Dixon and 24-year-old winger Tom Matthews arrived from Pompey for £12.5M and £13.75M respectively. City’s only sale was the aforementioned Bryan Thomson one. Tom Smith’s Arsenal, meanwhile, made the biggest transfer of the month, signing Russian centreback Andrey Mitin from Valencia for £18.5M. Mitin, you might be interested to know, was the youngest player in the Russia squad at Euro 2016. He also lists Martin Bojangles among his favoured personnel, for no apparent reason. 33-year-old Brazilian forward Keirrison left the Gunners for the Stadium of Light in a deal costing £925k.

    Okay, folks, it’s time for the big spectacle: the 2022 FIFA World Cup Final. Spain, on the back of two consecutive wins of the tournament, met Italy, who hadn’t reached the Final since 2006. The last time the two met was in the 2018 Quarter Final, where Spain proceeded on spot kicks after a 3-3 draw. I’m sure both sides were hoping this result would be different. Spain started brightly, with Joaquín Esteban’s 13th-minute shot being kept out only by the fingertips of Matteo Acquafresca. Nine minutes later, however, Esteban did strike, heading in Iñigo Fraile’s corner to make it 1-0 Spain. A couple of chances peppered the rest of the first half, including Bojan’s shot only just past the post, but it wasn’t until the 43rd minute that another goal came. Bojan once again took a shot; this one went over the bar, and from the resulting goal kick, Italy built up an attack. The attack wasn’t the greatest, but Spain seemed to show an inability to clear the ball, an inability which was punished by Salvatore Costanzo pouncing on the ball for an equaliser.

    In the second half, Italy took a number of shots from range, be they free kicks or from open play, none of which was successful. They also had a couple of slightly better chances, but were kept out. The indubitable fact, however, was that Italy were bossing the game. Spain’s only real chance came in the 88th minute when Esteban’s shot from a good position was saved by Acquafresca. Iñigo Fraile was booked in the 84th minute for a foul on Christian Ricci, and was one of three Spanish players cautioned in the second half. Extra time came, and saw a couple of good Spanish chances in its first half. At the end of that fifteen-minute period, however, disaster struck for Spain, as Iñigo Fraile received a second yellow card for a second trip on Christian Ricci. They needn’t have worried, though. At the start of the second period, Daniel Resino’s cross, evading both Iosu Alkorta and Italy’s Marco Modica in the box, found Joaquín Esteban, who, from close range, simply tapped the ball into the goal. From that point on, some pack-the-box defending from Spain, some poor passing from Italy and a double-save from Sergio Asenjo all preserved the score, giving Spain their third consecutive World Cup!

    After the World Cup, a flurry of managers left their jobs. Following a heavy Quarter Final defeat to Spain, host nation Argentina sacked Néstor Gorosito, and replaced him with debutant manager Gabriel Milito. Mexico, the United States, France, Denmark, Ireland and Portugal also all sacked their managers. Rudi Garcia stepped in at France, Oldham boss John Sheridan stepped in to replace Sean O’Driscoll at Ireland, and Pedro Santos, a regen whose appointment was greeted with scepticism, stepped in at Portugal. Mexico hired Oswaldo Sánchez, Denmark appointed the 69-year-old Mikael Holm, and the Americans opted for former Fulham, Portsmouth and Villarreal boss Tim Aubel, who becomes the third of our managers to step onto the international stage. Joaquín Esteban won Player of the Tournament, followed by Coutinho and Craig Robson, while Coutinho took home the Golden Boot. Five Italians, five Spaniards, four Brazilians and three Englishmen, among five other players, featured in the Dream Team + bench, with Craig Robson partnering Nicão in the chosen strikeforce.

    Next month the season kicks off in earnest. Good luck to our 29 managers in management, and to our three looking for a job!

    Manager of the Update

    The winner of the Manager of the Update award is;

    Haowan Madridstas
    , Barcelona

    for the first time since August 2020. Although his Barcelona team faced an easy Europa League Third Qualifying Round tie against HNK Sibenik, a 12-0 aggregate win is not to scoffed at. Lucas Volman was also in the running, for making waves with three big transfers this month.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5137
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5137
       3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Secure        5137
       4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5137
         - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5137
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  6. #1506
    Third Team
    Join Date
    25th March 2007
    Location
    Nottingham, United Kingdom
    Posts
    7,309

    Default

    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
    Hall of Fame – Top Ten Most Goals Scored at Current Club
    Code:
       Pos +- Username      Manager           Original Club Current Club Goals (Pr/G) Chnge
       1st  0 Haowan        Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona     2067 (2.44) +0.03 *
       2nd  0 tomsmith1989  Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal       1905 (2.25)  0.00 *
       3rd  0 Romanista1994 Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid   1613 (1.96) -0.02 *
       4th  0 weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli        1265 (1.85) +0.02 *
       5th  0 PluckaDuck    Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese       1177 (1.71) +0.05 *
       6th +1 el sid        Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter          779 (2.09) -0.04
       7th +1 spartans5     Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Man City       712 (1.92) -0.03
       8th +1 MikaelS       Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus       671 (1.78) +0.05
       9th +1 brettney1980  Brettney Joven    Wigan         Leeds          435 (1.65) +0.02
      10th NE ~Ian~         Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea        259 (2.27)  n/a
    Hall of Shame – Top Ten Most Goals Conceded at Current Club
    Code:
       Pos +- Username      Manager           Original Club Current Club Goals (Pr/G) Chnge
       1st +1 Haowan        Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona      740 (0.87) +0.02 *
       2nd -1 tomsmith1989  Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal        733 (0.86) -0.01 *
       3rd  0 PluckaDuck    Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese        643 (0.93) -0.01 *
       4th  0 weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli         603 (0.88) -0.01 *
       5th  0 Romanista1994 Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid    578 (0.70) +0.01 *
       6th  0 MikaelS       Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus       326 (0.86) -0.04
       7th +1 brettney1980  Brettney Joven    Wigan         Leeds          315 (1.20) +0.03
       8th +1 el sid        Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter          268 (0.72) -0.01
       9th +1 spartans5     Lawrence Lazewski Man City      Man City       264 (0.71) -0.04
      10th NE canvey!!      Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Everton        166 (1.09)  n/a
    Lifespan – 5 to 10 Years
    Code:
       Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days
       7th TaylorB              Ben Taylor          Fiorentina 3442
       8th fergysafc            Liam Ferguson       Man City   2783
       9th JSalter              James Salter        Reggina    2710
      10th mikeytwigge          Mikey Twigge        Palermo    2507
      11th BenArsenal           Ben Cee             Inter      2502
      12th super_lampard        Super Lampard       Lecce      2119
      13th Cardiovascular       Cardio Vascular     Genoa      2010
      14th Lower Leagues Rule   Jonte Rhodes        Lazio      1968
    Lifespan – 2 to 5 Years
    Code:
       Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days
      15th hasdgfas             Tim Aubel           Fulham     1705
      16th ~Ian~                Bryan McGuinness    Everton    1701
      17th rancer890            Ricky Nakano        Middlesbro 1614
      18th ssestig              Theo Stigarakis     Catania    1405
      19th bermybhoy            bermybhoy           Atalanta   1320
         - IlikeJellybeans      Jellybean Man       Numancia   1320
      21st m1234566778          Maz Armley          Racing     1288
      22nd el sid               Cool Manager        At. Madrid 1263
      23rd spartans5            Lawrence Lazewski   Valencia   1259
      24th Greasy Chip Butty    Andy Morton         Sporting   1244
      25th Martin_              Martin Bojangles    Hull       1241
      26th clrkaitken           Clark Aitken        Roma       1237
      27th Waghlon              Lars Tommersen      Villarreal 1230
      28th Walcott’s Wonderkids Brucie Bonus        West Brom  1210
      29th Almondo              Arnold J. Rimmer    Bolton     1208
      30th Neji                 Neji Hyuuga         Deportivo   999
      31st Jack Rudd            Lisa Jeffries       Juventus    925
      32nd pnefc22              Wobill Luman        Betis       889
      33rd AtilasMiserly        Will de Mote        A.C. Milan  882
      34th JoeLatics            Joe Gleeson         Espanyol    873
         - Blanco               Cristobal Blanco    Recreativo  873
      36th ian_1982             Maurice Jobson      Man United  852
      37th Ridleys              James Ridley        Siena       843
    Lifespan – 1 to 2 Years
    Code:
       Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days
      38th conners              Sirus Lannock       Málaga     628
      39th MikaelS              Mikael Schøler      Bologna    613
      40th Swafe                Saul Goode          Osasuna    551
      41st hamilton162          Tom Hamilton        Mallorca   509
      42nd kashmirshazad        Shazad Ali          Newcastle  508
      43rd DiscoStu94           Da Hoover Man       Sampdoria  501
         - ScottT!              Scott Tysoe         Sunderland 501
      45th canvey!!             Fréderico Canvey    Stoke      476
    Lifespan – Less than 1 Year
    Code:
       Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days
      46th corinthiano          Mathias Brunckhorst Chievo     327
         - Neilio               Neilio              Almería    327
      48th Robert_296           Robert Boyle        Blackburn  326
      49th brettney1980         Brettney Joven      Wigan      320
      50th TigerJoe             Joe Seddon          Getafe     271
      51st jack.browne          Jack Browne         Sevilla    250
      52nd NepentheZ            Neppo Monster       Cagliari   236
         - dafuge               dafuge              Torino     236
      54th KiddingChoc          Zach Machios        Portsmouth 235
         - Whoopy D             Whoopy D            West Ham   235
      56th d-machine            David Machine       Athletic   229
      57th PaulHartman71        Jeremy English      Liverpool  204
      58th Chimpos              Phill Ewles         Valladolid
         - tadr                 Andre da Conceiçao  Chelsea
         - markcator3006        Mark Cator          Aston Villa

  7. #1507
    Part-Timer
    Join Date
    1st December 2008
    Posts
    1,373

    Default

    US manager \o/

  8. #1508
    Third Team
    Join Date
    25th March 2007
    Location
    Nottingham, United Kingdom
    Posts
    7,309

    Default

    Update 170
    Years: 14, Months: 170, Days: 5168


    All of the excitement of the World Cup has faded into the distance now, and the domestic season has begun in England, Italy and Spain. Let’s take a look at how our remaining five managers kicked off season 2022-23.

    Rather mediocrely, in Spain at least. Both Barcelona and Real Madrid drew their first games, and both at home. Lucas Volman’s team hosted Elche in a soporific goalless draw, while Barça played a somewhat more exciting fixture against Zaragoza, with the visitors going ahead with eleven minutes but being 1-3 down after half an hour, and then Barcelona going down to ten men with a red card just before half time, a two-minute double salvo bringing Zaragoza level in the second half and a Zaragoza dismissal too. Three players were also taken off injured during the fiery encounter, which Zaragoza might be considered unlucky not to have won. Barcelona made a couple of transfers this month, bringing in 24-year-old striker Miguel Ángel Larrañaga from Athletic for £6.25M, and selling Mexico captain Giovani dos Santos to Fulham for £5M. Real Madrid pushed three players out the door: defensive midfielder Iker Etxeberria to Zamora for £150k, forward Mariano Ruano to Espanyol for £2.2M, and veteran Brazilian midfielder Oscar to Cool Manager’s Inter for £10.5M.

    Inter are currently third in Serie A after they beat Tyler Burrows’s Udinese 3-0 in the opening game of the season. A brace from Jozy Altidore sandwiched a goal for right winger Pedro Valente, and the match was over after 14 minutes. Lord Weeman’s Napoli also made a very strong start to the season, winning a tricky away tie with Lazio in style, 3-1. The scoring didn’t start until just before the hour mark, when Mario Balotelli gave Lazio the lead. Three minutes later, and fresh from his exploits in Argentina, Choco equalised for Napoli. Lauri Dalla Valle made it 2-1 in the 82nd minute and Choco completed the result a minute from time. Napoli made three transfers in August, capturing the signature of flamboyant Paraguayan winger Julio Samaniego from Man City for £13.5M, selling Antonio Piccolo to Valencia for £400k, and earning £3.8M for the sale of 25-year-old central midfielder Gianluca Di Clemente to Sampdoria. Udinese made three incoming transfers; Man United’s central midfielder Valerio Nanni for £500k, Zaragoza’s Neven Subotic for £1.8M, and Rimini’s 24-year-old forward Umberto Di Renzo for £4M.

    Elsewhere in Italy, Mikael Schøler’s Juventus won the Super Cup with a 3-1 victory over A.C. Milan. Spain’s was won by Atlético Madrid, who beat Zaragoza on penalties after no goals were scored in either of the two legs. The UEFA Super Cup in Monaco was contested by two of our managers, Mikael Schøler of Juventus and Lawrence Lazewski of Man City. Juventus took the lead in the 9th minute, but were pulled back by a Reimond Manco goal after a quarter of an hour. It went to penalties, and Juventus scored just one of their first three spot kicks, with City converting all three. Gareth Bale scored his to take the trophy back to Manchester.

    In other European football, Barcelona made their way into the Europa League group stage with a 5-3 aggregate win over Le Mans. A 2-0 win in France was almost squandered by a poor home performance from Barça, but a 3-3 draw, however scrappy, was sufficient. Tottenham, Man United, Fulham, Getafe, Valencia, Genoa, Roma and A.C. Milan also won in this round. In the Champions League, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese faced Galatasary in the Third Qualifying Phase. Udinese pulled off a 4-2 victory at home and a 3-2 one in Turkey to reach the group stage with a 7-4 aggregate. Liverpool beat Red Star Belgrade, Betis beat Dnipro, Celtic beat Bayer Leverkusen and Porto beat AS Saint-Etienne in this stage, and Austria Wien, Beitar Jerusalem, Slavia Prague, FC Zürich and Latvia’s Ventspils also got through. The group stage draw has not been kind to our teams: Napoli face holders Man City as well as Spartak Moscow and Betis; Udinese meet Chelsea, as well as Braga and Anderlecht; Real Madrid must get past Liverpool and Ajax but will surely hammer Beiter Jerusalem; and Arsenal might find problems against Bordeaux and Porto, but won’t against Austria Wien.

    Now over to England, where Arsenal’s start to the season hasn’t been disastrous, but Gunners fans will be wanting something better. They held Chelsea to Chelsea to a goalless draw in the Community Shield this month, but lost 3-5 on penalties, and started the season with a 0-2 defeat at Anfield. They recovered, however, with a 2-0 win at Hull and a 4-1 victory at home to Q.P.R., in which powerful striker Craig Robson bagged a brace. Robson, who became the most expensive in-game transfer when he moved to the Emirates last summer, has already netted twenty goals for his latest club, making his price a bit more modest at £2.4M per goal. Arnold J. Rimmer’s Newcastle lead the league after winning all three games, and are, alongside Leeds, Liverpool, Chelsea, Aston Villa and Fulham, one of six sides unbeaten. The Cottagers, under manager James Ridley, have drawn all three games, much like their real life start in the 2010-11 season. Next month, the Carling Cup Third Round takes place: Arsenal will host Brettney Joven’s Leeds, in what is probably the tie of the round after West Ham vs. Chelsea.

    Finally, we will look at our managers’ salaries. We currently have 26 managers working for a club (as well as three exclusively national team managers), and here are their clubs, wages, and the time they have spent at their current clubs. I have also done an average for each column.
    Code:
      RANK MANAGER           CLUB        SALARY/W DAYS RANK MANAGER           CLUB        SALARY/W DAYS
       1st Lucas Volman      Real Madrid £375,000 5168 14th Phill Ewles       Besiktas    £ 24,000 1344
       2nd Tom Smith         Arsenal     £245,000 5168 15th Fréderico Canvey  Everton     £ 20,000 1198
       3rd Cool Manager      Inter       £235,000 2663 16th Jellybean Man     B Munich    £ 17,750  282
       4th Haowan Madridstas Barcelona   £175,000 5168 17th dafuge            Portsmouth  £ 17,000  213
       5th Lawrence Lazewski Man City    £100,000 2379 18th Robert Boyle      Aston Villa £ 16,250  633
       6th Lord Weeman       Napoli      £ 87,000 5168 19th James Ridley      Fulham      £ 10,750  280
       7th Arnold J. Rimmer  Newcastle   £ 61,000 1034 20th Ben Taylor        Ipswich     £ 10,000   66
       8th Mikael Schøler    Juventus    £ 52,000 2615    - Super Lampard     Sampdoria   £ 10,000  278
       9th Leo Dodge         Roma        £ 41,500  660 22nd Neppo Monster     Fiorentina  £  8,000  123
      10th Brettney Joven    Leeds       £ 36,000 1763 23rd James Salter      Athletic    £  7,250  261
      11th Tyler Burrows     Udinese     £ 33,000 5168 24th Lars Tommersen    Betis       £  6,250  768
      12th Neilio            Palermo     £ 32,000 1289 25th Scott Tysoe       Rangers     £  4,600 1022
      13th Bryan McGuinness  Chelsea     £ 29,000  782 26th Theo Stigarakis   Racing      £  3,700  114
                                 AVERAGE £115,500 3002                            AVERAGE £ 11,485  506
    So we see, that for about six times as long a tenure, the richer managers are earning about ten times as much. Note also the poor salary of Rangers boss Scott Tysoe, which, despite his being at the club for three years, is less than that of Neppo Monster, the manager of Serie B side Fiorentina.

    Manager of the Update

    I was not particularly impressed with any of our managers this month. For this reason;

    Arnold J. Rimmer
    , Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)

    wins the award. He has guided the Magpies to three wins from three in the Premier League, and the team also won 1-0 at Walsall in the Carling Cup Second Round. Of our managers, Tyler Burrows came closest, with two close but decisive victories against Galatasary putting Udinese into the Champions League group stages. He, however, lost heavily to Inter in the first game of the season.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5168
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5168
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   5168
       4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5168
         - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5168
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  9. #1509
    Third Team
    Join Date
    25th March 2007
    Location
    Nottingham, United Kingdom
    Posts
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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
    Hall of Fame – Top Ten Biggest Positive Goal Difference at Current Club
    Code:
       Pos +- Username      Manager           Original Club Current Club GlDif
       1st  0 Haowan        Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    +1329 *
       2nd  0 tomsmith1989  Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      +1175 *
       3rd  0 Romanista1994 Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  +1035 *
       4th  0 weeeman27bob  Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       + 664 *
       5th  0 PluckaDuck    Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      + 534 *
       6th  0 el sid        Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        + 514
       7th +1 spartans5     Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Man City     + 448
       8th +1 MikaelS       Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     + 351
       9th NE ~Ian~         Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      + 169
      10th  0 brettney1980  Brettney Joven    Wigan         Leeds        + 128
    Hall of Shame – Top Five Biggest Negative Goal Difference at Current Club
    Code:
       Pos +- Username      Manager           Original Club Current Club GlDif
       1st NE Robert_296    Robert Boyle      Blackburn     AV/ENG u21s  -  24
       2nd NE Chimpos       Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Besiktas     -  18
       3rd NE JSalter       James Salter      Reggina       Athletic     -  13
       4th NE dafuge        dafuge            Torino        Portsmouth   -   3
         - NE NepentheZ     Neppo Monster     Cagliari      Fiorentina   -   3

  10. #1510
    World Cup Winner
    Join Date
    20th May 2003
    Posts
    56,400

    Default

    Clearly no need to go to a top four there, just rubbing it in

  11. #1511
    Part-Timer
    Join Date
    18th October 2008
    Posts
    1,658

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    Best paid manager.

  12. #1512
    Third Team
    Join Date
    26th May 2007
    Location
    Webber for F1 World Champion- Please!!!!
    Posts
    7,404

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    Not a good start being thrashed by Inter, but the wins over Gala looked quite easy and helpful.

  13. #1513
    First Team Regular
    Join Date
    16th January 2008
    Location
    Premier League Draft Champion x2, OTF Big Brother Winner
    Posts
    27,300

    Default

    Earning a cool £235,000 per week

  14. #1514
    Third Team
    Join Date
    25th March 2007
    Location
    Nottingham, United Kingdom
    Posts
    7,309

    Default

    And here's your Christmas bonus, el sid (and everyone else): a double update! Ho ho ho!

    Update 171

    Years: 14, Months: 171, Days: 5198


    September sees the continuation of league football in England, Italy and Spain, and it also marks the start of the really interesting stuff in cup football, in these countries, in European club football and in international football. Let’s see how the month shaped up, starting in England.

    It was a good month for Tom Smith, whose Arsenal team now sit top of the table after two wins and a draw. Fulham were beaten 3-0, before a 1-1 draw at home to Middlesbrough and a 2-0 victory at Old Trafford. Arsenal are joint on points with Brettney Joven’s Leeds, whom they beat 1-0 in the Carling Cup Third Round with a Francesc Fabrègas goal. Fréderico Canvey’s Everton will visit the Emirates in the Fourth Round. After two months of Championship football, Blackburn lead the way with 25 points from nine games. They are followed by Derby County on 22 points, and then by Southampton, Crystal Palace and Cardiff, all tied on 19 points. Leyton Orient sit bottom, having picked up just two points.

    It’s been five wins from five for Atlético Madrid, who of course lead La Liga, but their rivals Real Madrid are also unbeaten. This month, Lucas Volman’s side got two-goal-margin victories over Gimnàstic and Villarreal, and thrashed Valladolid 7-2. The only poorer result was a 1-1 draw at Sevilla, but, considering the Sevillistes were top of the league at the start of the month, and are now 6th, that’s not so bad. Barcelona had a decent month, beating Murcia, Málaga and James Salter’s Athletic, but losing at home to Atlético.

    There was a short international break this month for European national teams to play the first game of their Euro 2024 qualification campaign. Liam Ferguson’s England travelled to Baku, Azerbaijan, where they ran out 5-0 winners with a hattrick from Craig Robson. Northern Ireland lost 0-2 at home to Germany, but Scotland, Wales and Ireland didn’t play. Scotland and England will meet next March, and are vying to qualify from a group containg Hungary, Slovenia, and, of course, Azerbaijan. Other than the England result, Italy’s 4-1 win in Greece was the biggest victory.

    Another four games in Serie A see Tyler Burrows’s Udinese improve their position from the 18th place they occupied at the start of the month. They now sit in 7th, having beaten Cagliari, Atalanta and Modena, but lost at Juventus. Surprisingly, Cool Manager’s Inter have fallen to 6th. They lost to both Roma and Napoli this month, while winning their other two games. Lord Weeman’s Neapolitan side are 3rd, joint on 12 points with leaders A.C. Milan and Roma, after beating Genoa, Sampdoria, and, with a Choco brace, Inter Milan (2-0), but after losing heavily at A.C. Milan, with Choco netting once again. The Coppa Italia First Round, which will take place in November, will see Napoli hosting Livorno and Udinese hosting Mantova. If Weeman’s team win, which is likely, Chievo Verona, or more likely Mikael Schøler’s Juventus, await in the Quarter Final.

    I mentioned European football so let’s see how the month went on the continental stage. Our Europa League entrants, Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona, found themselves in an easy group with Fenerbahçe, APOEL Nicosia and Ukraine’s Metalurg Zp. The Spaniards left Ukraine with a 3-0 victory under their belts, and matched that winning margin in a 4-1 home win over the Cypriots, a match in which APOEL were 0-4 down after 41 minutes but grabbed a consolation 10 minutes from time. In the Champions League, Lord Weeman’s Napoli have made an indifferent start, following a 0-1 loss at Betis with the reversed scoreline at home to defending champions Man City. Napoli’s compatriots Udinese have started well, topping their group after the two games. They won 3-1 at Anderlecht and beat Braga at home, while Chelsea could only draw away at Braga (and only beat Anderlecht 1-0 at home). But a trip to the Chelsea Stadium awaits next month for Tyler Burrows. In Group G, Real Madrid have started okay, drawing goalless at Ajax before a 2-0 win over Beitar Jerusalem. And last year’s runners-up Arsenal were held to a 1-1 draw in Porto, but were much more clinical at home to Austria Wien, defeating them 6-0 with two goals from Craig Robson and three from Theo Walcott. Having told you last month that Robson cost Arsenal £2.4M per goal, I give you;

    The Craig Robson-o-meter

    Goals this Month: 3

    Total Goals: 23

    Cost per Goal: £2,086,956.52

    I expect to see that figure halved by next month!

    Manager of the Update

    This month’s winner is;

    Tyler Burrows
    , Udinese

    after he guided his team to five wins from six, and having only lost narrowly away to Juventus. Such a good month moves Udinese up 12 places in the league and puts them top of a far-from-easy Champions League group. Tom Smith and Lucas Volman managed to go unbeaten this month, but don’t beat Burrows in my book.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5198
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5198
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   5198
       4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5198
         - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5198
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  15. #1515
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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
    Writer’s Notes: I’m reverting back to the old ‘All Star Top Ten’ format, as it makes it quicker to write a report. All the new tables included last time, however, will be retained.

    All Star Top Ten – Oldest Managers
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Age
       1st  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid   62 *
         -  0 IlikeJellybeans Jellybean Man     Numancia      Bayern Munich 62
         -  0 Swafe           Saul Goode        Osasuna       Wales         62
       4th  0 NepentheZ       Neppo Monster     Cagliari      Fiorentina    61
         -  0 Almondo         Arnold J. Rimmer  Bolton        Newcastle     61
         - +2 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona     61 *
       7th -1 SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Roma          60
         - -1 ScottT!         Scott Tysoe       Sunderland    Rangers       60
         - -1 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                       60
      10th  0 Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis         58
         -  0 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese       58 *

  16. #1516
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    P.S. You don't even need to celebrate Christmas to receive this Christmas bonus. Ho ho ho!

    Update 172

    Years: 14, Months: 172, Days: 5229


    Let’s dive right into October’s action, starting in Italy where Lord Weeman’s Napoli top Serie A. They were really on a roll this month, tallying consecutive victories against Cagliari, Mantova, Atalanta and Livorno before a home draw with Modena. They also beat Spartak Moscow in the Champions League, and sit top of their group with six points. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese had a decent month, winning once, at Lazio, and drawing their four other games. They travelled to the Chelsea Stadium for their Champions League game, and duly lost 0-3 to the Premier League holders.

    Speaking of Premier League, Tom Smith’s Arsenal are at the top of it, having won all four games this month. They beat Leeds 3-1, Newcastle 3-2 and Sheffield Wednesday 2-0, but the result of the month was the 6-0 demolition of dafuge’s Portsmouth. Man United manager Dave Jones got the Manager of the Month award, despite the Red Devils’ four wins not being as good. Fulham currently sit bottom of the Premier League, and so James Ridley is under pressure and Precarious, despite three wins from three in the Cottagers’ Europa League group. Arsenal were held at home in the Champions League, 0-0 against Bordeaux, and striker Craig Robson picked up a three-to-four week injury; strained knee ligaments. That brings me to;

    The Craig Robson-o-meter

    Goals this Month: 3

    Total Goals: 26

    Cost per Goal: £1,846,153.85

    There was another international break this month, with more games played in the Road to the Netherlands 2024. Liam Ferguson’s England welcomed Hungary to Wembley, and thrashed their visitors 4-0, with two goals from Theo Walcott and one each from Robson and Nathan Delfouneso. Scotland beat Slovenia 3-2 and won 3-0 in Azerbaijan. Saul Goode’s Wales lost 1-2 at home to World Cup finalists Italy, but won 3-1 in Latvia. England under 21s, under Robert Boyle’s tutelage, lost out in the European under 21 Championship Qualifying Playoff against France, being humiliated 1-4 in the away leg and crashing out 2-5 on aggregate. In the Euro 2024 qualification, the biggest wins were 6-0 ones for France over Liechtenstein and for Spain over neighbours Andorra.

    We’ll conclude this report in Spain, where, unusually, Barcelona sit higher than Real Madrid. Haowan Madridstas’s side are 5th, having won three of their four games this month. Real Madrid, on the other hand, are 10th, after they failed to win any of them. Catalonian side Bar*ça picked up maximum points from fixtures against Betis, Hércules and Deportivo, before losing 0-2 at Getafe. They also beat Fenerbahçe 3-1 in the Europa League and Las Palmas 1-0 in the Copa del Rey Fourth Round First Leg. Madrid had a better Spanish cup game, as they beat Granadan side Baza 6-0. Their league form, however, was awful, as they fell to defeat against Murcia and Zaragoza away, and could only muster home draws against Málaga and Betis. They also lost in the Champions League, 0-1 at Anfield.

    Things start hotting up (shouldn’t that be “heating up”) at around this time, and a spate of sackings might well follow. Watch out, managers, keep your wits about you else you won’t keep your job!

    Manager of the Update

    This month’s winner is;

    Lord Weeman
    , Napoli

    for his five wins from six that keep his team top of Serie A, and top of their Champions League group. Tom Smith came close to the award, but missed out by virtue of having played fewer games: Weeman won five and drew one, Smith won four and drew one. Nevertheless, the Arsenal manager had a good month that keeps his team top of both their tables too.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5229
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5229
       3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Secure        5229
       4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5229
         - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5229
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800
    Last edited by canvey!!; 26-12-2010 at 15:08.

  17. #1517
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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
    All Star Top Ten – Youngest Managers
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Age
       1st  0 canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Everton       49
         - +2 fergysafc       Liam Ferguson     Man City      England       49
         -  0 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus      49
       4th +1 Ridleys         James Ridley      Siena         Fulham        50
       5th +2 Neilio          Neilio            Almería       Palermo       52
         - +1 Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Besiktas      52
       7th  0 Robert_296      Robert Boyle      Blackburn     AV/ENG u21s   53
         -  0 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter         53
       9th NE dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Portsmouth    54
         - NE spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Man City      54
         - NE ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Racing        54
         - NE Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull                        54

  18. #1518
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    Not much of a Christmas bonus if my team falls to 6th (!!) in the league tbh Great updates as usual canvey, kutgw

  19. #1519
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    Update 173
    Years: 14, Months: 173, Days: 5259


    Our managers are opening the first window on their advent calendars today, but there are a few managers who, having just lost their job, cannot afford one. None of our fantastic five are among that lot, but it just goes to show that we’ve entered the P45 period, and that a few poor results could spell the end of a managerial tenure.

    We’ll start this report in Italy, where Lord Weeman’s Napoli still lead Serie A. They went unbeaten this month, but could only get two wins, against Reginna and Juventus, failing to score against either Rimini or Frosinone. They didn’t have that problem, however, in their Coppa Italia First Round tie against Livorno, which they won 6-0. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese, meanwhile, are 9th in Italy’s top flight, having started the month with defeats to A.C. Milan and Mantova, but recovering to beat Livorno and Reggina. Udinese’s cup tie went poorly: they were held to a 1-1 home draw against Mantova. They did, however, win progression through to the Quarter Finals by winning the penalty shootout 4-2. Neilio’s Palermo visit them in the Quarter Finals, while Napoli host Mikael Schøler’s Juventus. The tie of the round will be a Milan derby, assuming A.C. are capable of beating Reggina in their First Round tie, which has yet to be played.

    Over in Spain, it’s been a pretty good month for Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona. They beat Valencia 3-1, Mallorca 4-1 and Cádiz 5-0 this month, although a trip to Valladolid saw the home side win 5-4 thanks to a 90+6th minute goal. A 4-2 home victory over Las Palmas put Barça into the Copa del Rey Fifth Round, where they will face Atlético Madrid, 5-2 on aggregate. The Catalonian side also welcomeded Metalurg Zp to the Nou Camp in the Europa League, and won the match 6-0, thereby qualifying for the Round of 32. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid enjoyed a similar month, beating Athletic, Deportivo and Hércules, but losing their derby match at Atlético, 0-2. They beat Baza C.D. 4-0 in their Copa del Rey tie, meaning a 10-0 aggregate win puts them through to face Getafe. Madrid’s victory at the start of the month, that over Athletic, 4-1, saw the Bilbao club sack manager James Salter, and replace him with José Miguel Campos.

    And now we’ll jet over to Merry Old England, where Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea have assumed pole position in the Premier League, after picking up 13 points from five games this month. Tom Smith’s Arsenal are second after a poor month. The Gunners started with a win, at Sunderland, before goalless draws against both Everton and Chelsea, and a heavy 0-3 loss at White Hart Lane in the North London derby. The Gunners did, however, secure a Carling Cup Semi-Final place after a 3-2 Fourth Round win over Everton and a 4-3 Quarter Final win over the other Merseyside team, Liverpool, with Craig Robson scoring the winning goal. That brings me to;

    The Craig Robson-o-meter

    Goals this Month: 1

    Total Goals: 27

    Cost per Goal: £1,777,777.78

    Newcastle also made it into the Semi-Final after Arnold J. Rimmer’s team beat Q.P.R. 6-1. Manchester City and Manchester United will compete in a derby in one of the other Quarter Finals, and Chelsea will also be eyeing a place in the Last Four, which they can achieve with a home win over Fulham. The Cottagers sacked their manager James Ridley this month, after a league defeat to Chelsea had them bottom of the table. Real Madrid legend and former Celtic manager Raúl has assumed the post, and has lifted the London club out of the relegation zone with his first two games in charge. Robert Boyle’s Aston Villa are now bottom, although level on points with both Huddersfield and Q.P.R.. Boyle is Very Insecure. The FA Cup Third Round draw took place this month, and Craig Robson will get the opportunity to face his old club as Arsenal travel to Leicester. Chelsea’s trip to Blue Square Premier side Lewes has been called the tie of the round, although Manchester City’s tie at Elland Road also looks good.

    With another two games played this month, the best teams are already qualifying from their Champions League groups. In Group B this month, Lord Weeman’s Napoli drew 1-1 away to Spartak Moscow before a 3-0 home win against Betis. Lawrence Lazewski’s Manchester City also won 3-0 at home to Betis, but won 2-0 in Russia. Both are through to the Last 16. In Group D, Udinese did well to hold Chelsea to a goalless draw in Italy, before beating Anderlecht 2-0. Both teams are also through to the next round. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid have yet to qualify: they lost 1-2 at home to Liverpool this month before a 3-0 win over Ajax. Rafa Benítez’s Reds have qualified, but Real Madrid must earn their place with a win at Beitar Jerusalem. Finally, in Group H, two wins for Arsenal this month have put Tom Smith’s side into the Last 16. They won 3-1 in Bordeaux and 2-0 in London against Porto. Juventus, Atlético Madrid, Marseille, Inter, Bayern Munich and Zaragoza have also qualified, with the four remaining places going to Benfica or Phill Ewles’s Besiktas; Scott Tysoe’s Rangers or Dinamo Kiev; Real Madrid or Ajax and Bordeaux or Porto.

    There was also a small international break this month, for friendly games. Liam Ferguson’s England welcomed Cameroon to Wembley, and recorded a 3-0 victory thanks to goals from Adam Pepper, Theo Walcott and Omar Koroma. Saul Goode’s Wales travelled to Cairo, where they drew 1-1 with Egypt thanks to Ched Evans’s goal four minutes from time. Tim Aubel’s United States played Montserrat in Plymouth, and won 1-0. The biggest victory was for China, who beat Singapore 7-0, while Peru and Brazil won 6-0, against the Netherlands Antilles and Slovenia respectively.

    Merry Christmas, managers!

    Manager of the Update

    This month’s winner is;

    Lord Weeman
    , Napoli

    for being the month’s only unbeaten manager. Winning half and drawing half of games in both Serie A and the Champions League is enough to keep Napoli top of both tables, and they also battered Coppa Italia First Round opponents Livorno with a 6-0 win.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5259
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5259
       3rd PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        5259
         - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        5259
       5th Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Stable        5259
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  20. #1520
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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
    All Star Top Ten – Highest Fee Spent
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Player                Fee
       1st  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      Craig Robson#     £48   M *
       2nd  0 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    John Heitinga     £37.5 M *
       3rd  0 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        Chris Heslop#     £32.5 M
       4th  0 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                      Cristiano Ronaldo £30.5 M
       5th  0 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      Carlos Vela       £27   M
       6th  0 fergysafc       Liam Ferguson     Man City      England      Michael Essien    £26.5 M
       7th  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  Adriano           £23   M *
       8th  0 weeman27bob     Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       Lauri Dalla Valle £22.5 M *
       9th  0 SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Roma         Mario Gómez       £21.5 M
      10th  0 spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Man City     John Fleck        £19.75M

  21. #1521
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    Update 174
    Years: 14, Months: 174, Days: 5290


    Happy new year, folks! 2023 has arrived, and with it has come the renewed hopes of our managers. But before we cover their illusory optimism, let’s see how they did in December, starting in England.

    We all know that the side bottom of the Premier League at Christmas gets relegated, and this year it was Aston Villa. The Villains built their run of consecutive defeats to six this month, by losing to Fulham, Arsenal, Leeds and Newcastle. It was at this point, Boxing Day, that they dispensed of the services of Robert Boyle, after just over two years of service. Assistant manager Gordan Cowans is in charge until a replacement is found. It is worth noting that the loss to Arsenal, 0-3, was abetted by a Craig Robson brace. Which brings me to;

    The Craig Robson-o-meter

    Goals this Month: 5

    Total Goals: 32

    Cost per Goal: £1,500,000.00


    At the top of the table, Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea, after winning all but one of their games this month, hold a narrow one-point lead over Tom Smith’s Arsenal. The Gunners did slightly better this month; Chelsea’s non-win was a loss but Arsenal’s was a draw. Smith’s side beat Man City, Leicester, Aston Villa, Huddersfield and Hull, but were held goalless at Ben Taylor’s Ipswich. The two leaders will come face-to-face next month in the Carling Cup Semi-Final. Chelsea triumphed 4-2 at Wembley in last year’s FA Cup Final. The other Semi-Final sees Newcastle face Man City.

    We’ll move over to Spain now, although Lucas Volman will wish we hadn’t. His Real Madrid side are 10th, and one could argue that only his £375,000 weekly paycheque is keeping him safe. This month, Los Galácticos failed to win a single league game, losing to both Cádiz and Barcelona, and drawing with Getafe. Haowan Madridstas’s Barça won El Classico, 5-3 with a hattrick from 24-year-old Basque striker Miguel Ángel Larrañaga. The Catalonian side currently sit fourth, having also beaten Recreativo and Sevilla this month. Atlético Madrid lead the league with 43 points, four more than second-placed Valencia.

    This month saw the conclusion of European groups, so we’ll look at how our teams finished their Champions League group stages. When we last looked, Real Madrid were the only side of ours not to have qualified. Although Ajax beat Liverpool 2-1 in the Netherlands, the Spanish side were still able to qualify by virtue of their 2-0 win in Israel against Beitar Jerusalem. Meanwhile, Napoli ended with a 2-1 win at holders Manchester City, and so top their group; Udinese drew goalless at Braga, and Arsenal drew 1-1 away to Austria Wien. The most tantalising tie of the Round of 16 sees Cool Manager’s Inter meet Real Madrid, although other ties involving two of our managers see Scott Tysoe’s Rangers face Mikael Schøler’s Juventus, and Jellybean Man’s Bayern Munich face Tom Smith’s Arsenal. Udinese have a tough time of it in their tie against La Liga leaders Atlético Madrid, while Napoli should find little difficulty against Porto. Man City meet Zaragoza, Marseille meet Chelsea, and Phill Ewles’s Besiktas meet Liverpool. In the Europa League this month, Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona played two games, winning 4-0 in Cyprus against APOEL Nicosia, yet drawing goalless at Fenerbahçe. They still topped their group by a large margin, and face Olympiakos in the next round, with Panathanaikos or Saint-Etienne to play after that. Big ties of the Last 32 see Bordeaux meet Man United, A.C. Milan meet Werder Bremen, and Roma meet Celtic.

    We’ll conclude in Italy, of course, where a dip in form has seen Lord Weeman’s Napoli drop from first to third in Serie A. This month, they drew 3-3 at Neilio’s Palermo, which allowed both Milan clubs, A.C. and Inter, to overtake them. Following this, they travelled to Friuli-Venezia Giulia to play Tyler Burrows’s Udinese. It could have been said that the visitors had the better of the game, but nevertheless, Udinese ran out 2-0 winners thanks to a brace from Bulgarian forward Tsvetomir Todorov. Napoli beat Lecce 5-0 in their final game, with Argentine striker Federico Laurito bagging a hattrick, but it wasn’t enough for them to recover first place, and they sit three points adrift of leaders Inter. Udinese won their other two games this month, beating both Rimini and Palermo 2-1. Their three wins move them from 9th to 5th in the table.

    So, a good month for some, a bad month for others. How will our managers’ fortunes improve in the new year?

    Manager of the Update

    I think I have to give this one to;

    Haowan Madridstas
    , Barcelona

    after he guided his team to four wins and a draw this month. He picked up the maximum of nine points from league games, including victory over Real Madrid, and also completed his Europa League group unbeaten. Tyler Burrows came close, also having picked up maximum league points, and if he had won his Champions League fixture against Braga, he may well have been taking this award home.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5290
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5290
       3rd PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        5290
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5290
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Stable        5290
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  22. #1522
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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
    All Star Top Ten – Highest Fee Received
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Player                Fee
       1st  0 brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         Leeds        Chris Heslop#      £32.5M
       2nd  0 Robert_296      Robert Boyle      Blackburn     England u21s Redouane Bacha#    £30  M
       3rd  0 Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis        Giuseppe Rossi     £29.5M
       4th  0 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                      Freddy Adu         £27  M
         -  0 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      Carlos Vela        £27  M *
       6th  0 spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Man City     Michael Essien     £26.5M
       7th  0 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      Mikel Arteta       £25.5M
       8th  0 m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing                     Adriano            £23  M
       9th  0 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       Takayuki Morimoto  £21  M *
      10th  0 SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Roma         Gaël Kakuta        £20.5M
         -  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  Adriano            £20.5M *

  23. #1523
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    Stil doing very well at Udinese and making our customary "close-but-not-close-enough" run for the title.

    Like the Robson goal idea as well

  24. #1524
    First Team Regular
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    Premier League Draft Champion x2, OTF Big Brother Winner
    Posts
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    Into the top 2, forza inter

  25. #1525
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    25th March 2007
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    Update 175
    Years: 14, Months: 175, Days: 5321


    I’m sad to say that all the Christmas and New Year’s festivities have now passed, and everything has returned to the daily grind. Still, don’t despair, as we have the conclusion of the 2022-23 season rapidly approaching, with cups, leagues and gold doubloons up for grabs. Let’s see just how close to that pirate booty our managers got in January.

    It was a good month for Lucas Volman, which saw his Real Madrid team ascend from 10th place in La Liga to 6th. They racked up four wins in January, beating Valencia 1-0, Recreativo 4-0, Valladolid 3-1, and Sevilla 2-1. There were, however, blips on the record: they drew goalless at Mallorca in the league, and lost both legs of their Copa del Rey Fifth Round tie against Getafe 1-2, crashing out of the competition 2-4 on aggregate. Meanwhile, Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona are fourth, but had a worse month. League-wise, they narrowly beat Gimnàstic, but drew against Elche, Villarreal and Málaga, and lost to Murcia. In the Copa del Rey, they lost 1-3 at Atlético Madrid in the Fifth Round, but pulled off a comeback, with a 2-0 home win sending them through on away goals. They couldn’t quite perform the same feat against Zaragoza in the Quarter Finals: although they got the 2-0 home win in the second leg, they had failed to muster a response to Zaragoza’s three goals in leg one, and so left 2-3 on aggregate. Elche meet Zaragoza and Valencia meet Getafe in the Last Four.

    In Italy, Lord Weeman’s Napoli are losing time in their title chase. It’s been three games since the season’s midpoint, and his team are five points behind A.C. Milan at the top. Having made up no ground this month despite ten points from a possible fifteen, a general improvement in form will be necessary. In January, Napoli beat Catania, Lazio and Sampdoria at home. However, when Leo Dodge’s Roma came to visit San Paolo, the match ended 2-2. Napoli’s only away trip of the month saw them lose 1-2 at Genoa. They also left the Coppa Italia at the Quarter Final stage, losing 0-1 at home to Mikael Schøler’s Juventus. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese, however, beat Palermo 2-0 and so made it through to the Final Four, where they will meet Inter. Burrows also picked up ten league points this month, beating Genoa, Cagliari and Atalanta, drawing with Inter, and losing to Roma. They are currently fifth.

    I said earlier that the festivities were over, but there were still some presents being unwrapped by our managers this month. Lucas Volman made the biggest transfer of the month, signing 26-year-old AS Monaco stiker Giacomo Di Giuseppe for £18.25M. Volman also signed Barcelona’s 28-year-old goalkeeper Andrea Ventura for £750k and sold his own ‘keeper, Carlos Alberto Guazá, to Lazio, for £130k, the same fee paid for the Colombian in the summer. Lord Weeman sold 22-year-old attacking midfielder Roberto Comotto to Parma for £625k, and Arsenal manager Tom Smith sold 24-year-old English centreback Jamie Bennett to Raúl’s Fulham for £2.3M. Udinese, as usual, made several transfers, bringing in 29-year-old midfielder Roberto Benassi from Atalanta for £2.1M, and selling both Tiago Luís to Salzburg for £45k and young leftback Paolo Esposito to Vicenza for £325k. Tyler Burrows also bought some more player fragments, half of 16-year-old Lecce ‘keeper Luigi Mandelli for £1.4M and half of 16-year-old Catania striker Andrea Palumbo for £1.5M.

    We’ll conclude in England, where Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea are still the Premier League leaders, leading Tom Smith’s Arsenal by five points. The Gunners could have had a better month league-wise; they beat Liverpool and Middlesbrough, but drew with Q.P.R. and Leeds, and lost at Craven Cottage. They travelled to the Chelsea Stadium for the Carling Cup Semi-Final First Leg, but lost 0-2 to the Pensioners. The follow-up leg, at the Emirates, ended goalless after a deadlocked match. Chelsea will face Lawrence Lazewski’s Man City in the Final, with the Citizens looking for their third consecutive win. Anyway, Arsenal did get some relief in the Football Association Challenge Cup, as they reached the Fifth Round, beating West Ham 2-0 in the Fourth Round. In the Third Round, the Gunners won 2-1 at Leicester, in a game which saw Craig Robson revisiting his former club. That brings me to;

    The Craig Robson-o-meter

    Goals this Month: 2

    Total Goals: 34

    Cost per Goal: £1,411,764.71

    Arsenal travel to Brettney Joven’s Leeds for their Fifth Round tie, while Chelsea play at West Brom, and, if Everton beat Swansea and Liverpool beat Sheffield Wednesday, a Merseyside derby will be played out at Goodison Park.

    I’m rooting for Fréderico Canvey’s Toffees, naturally.

    Manager of the Update


    Lucas Volman
    , Real Madrid

    is this month’s winner, but nobody did that well. I’ve given the award to Volman for an unbeaten month in the league, despite a pretty poor whimpering-out in the Copa del Rey. The Real Madrid manager also signalled his intent with an £19M transfer spend this month.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5321
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5321
       3rd PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        5321
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5321
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Stable        5321
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  26. #1526
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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
    All Star Top Ten – Longest Time at Current Club/Nation
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Days
       1st  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  5321 *
         -  0 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       5321 *
         -  0 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      5321 *
         -  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      5321 *
         -  0 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    5321 *
       6th  0 Swafe           Saul Goode        Osasuna       Wales        3523
       7th +1 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        2816
       8th +1 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     2768
       9th +1 spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Man City     2532
      10th NE brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         Leeds        1916

  27. #1527
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    Update 176
    Years: 14, Months: 176, Days: 5349


    Spring is on its way, as is the end of the season. As much as we’d like to deny it, just nine games remain for the majority of the Premier League teams. With that in mind, it doesn’t look like Manolo Jiménez’s Aston Villa, never mind the teams behind them, Q.P.R. and Huddersfield, will avoid relegation, given that they are nine points behind 17th-placed Middlesbrough. With trips to the Emirates, Anfield and Elland Road (Leeds are 5th) to come, as well as home ties against Manchester United and 3rd-placed Newcastle, the great escape doesn’t look likely.

    We might as well continue in England if we have started there. Tom Smith’s Arsenal still find themselves kept at a five-point distance behind Premier League leaders Chelsea, and they are quite lucky that that lead wasn’t increased to seven points. Both teams picked up seven points from nine this month, with Bryan McGuinness’s Blues being held at home to Middlesbrough, and Arsenal drawing goalless at Sheffield Wednesday. The Gunners got their six points from victories over Tyneside rivals Newcastle and Sunderland this month, the former with a solitary goal from Craig Robson. That, of course, brings me to;

    The Craig Robson-o-meter

    Goals this Month: 1

    Total Goals: 35

    Cost per Goal: £1,371,428.57


    The London club also made the journey up the M1 to play Brettney Joven’s Leeds in the FA Cup Fifth Round. Unfortunately for Tom Smith, the Whites won the match 2-1, and will go on to face Championship mid-table team Bolton away in the Sixth Round. Meanwhile, Rafa Benítez’s Liverpool won 2-0 at Goodison Park in a rather limp Fifth Round Merseyside derby. They’ll go on to host Tottenham, while Middlesbrough host Chelsea and Hull meet Ipswich at the Circle. Also this month, Lawrence Lazewski’s Manchester City won their third consecutive Carling Cup on penalties after a 1-1 draw with Chelsea at Wembley. Adam Pepper, who scored City’s equaliser just before the hour mark, also slotted the winning penalty into the back of the net.

    We’ll move over to Spain now, where 13 games of the season remain. It’s been an unchanged month, to be honest: Barcelona are still fourth, and Real Madrid are still sixth. The latter, managed by 62-year-old Italian-Luxembourger gaffer Lucas Volman, went unbeaten this month, winning against Elche, Gimnàstic and Villarreal before ending the month with a 1-1 draw at Málaga. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona only played three games, beating both Athletic and Hércules, but after having lost 1-3 at Zaragoza. League leaders Atlético Madrid have an eight-point gap separating them and second-placed Valencia. In the LIGA adelante, Theo Stigarakis’s Racing have a similar gap, six points, over second-placed Levante.

    February, of course, means a return to European football. Barcelona navigated through their Europa League Last 32 tie against Olympiakos, winning 1-0 in Greece and 3-2 at home. They’ll face A.S. Saint-Etienne next, while Getafe meet Valencia in the Battle of Spain and AZ Alkmaar meet Ajax in the Battle of the Netherlands. As for the Champions League, there were some very exciting ties this month. Tom Smith’s Arsenal met Jellybean Man’s Bayern Munich in Germany. Theo Walcott put the Gunners ahead in the 10th minute, and four minutes after the second half restart, Moussa Sissoko made it 2-0. One minute after that, however, Argentine striker Adrián Villagra scored for Bayern, and Victor Irineu equalised in the 78th minute. German midfielder Christian Weigl bagged the surprise win for the home side with his strike six minutes from time. Lord Weeman’s Napoli also travelled, also took the lead in the 10th minute, and also lost. They played Porto, with 20-year-old striker Mattia Silvestri bagging the early goal. A brace for Norweigan striker Runar Nilsen, with goals one minute after the hour and one minute before full time, gave Porto the victory.

    Tyler Burrows
    ’s Udinese welcomed La Liga leaders Atlético Madrid to Friuli. Atlético dominated the game, and took the lead in the 32nd minute, with Coutinho bagging the goal. Udinese went down to ten men in the 50th minute, following a red card for Davide Anaclerio (remember his dismissal in the World Cup last year?). However, 26-year-old forward Francesco Banti equalised for Udinese eight minutes later. After a further 10 minutes, Sergio Agüero made it 2-1 Atlético, but Banti got another goal five minutes from time to give Udinese an unlikely draw, one that will frustrate Atlético. But their cross-city rivals Real Madrid will be even more frustrated with their own draw, at home to Cool Manager’s Inter. Lucas Volman’s side saw a flurry of action in the early stages: with Chris Heslop netting for Inter after two minutes and 24-year-old forward Tiago for Real after a further two. Tiago made it 2-1 in the 33rd minute, only for another goal another two minutes later to pull Inter level, this time from Nathan Delfouneso. In the second half, Matt Hazell made it 3-2 Inter in the 56th minute, before Jozy Altidore made it 4-2 on the hour. Czech signing Karel Vagner grabbed a goal back for Volman’s side in the 67th minute, before Ivorian Lamine Kone made it 4-4 with 15 minutes to play. It is quite endearing that Inter field a squad with three Englishmen capable of scoring against Real Madrid. In other ties, Man City beat Zaragoza 1-0 at home, Marseille drew goalless at home to Chelsea, Liverpool won 5-0 at Phill Ewles’s Besiktas, and in Scott Tysoe and Mikael Schøler’s clash, Juventus won 2-1 at Ibrox.

    What an exciting month, and it still isn’t over! Let’s go to Italy to see how things shaped up in January. Just like in Spain, things are pretty much the same, among our teams at least. Lord Weeman’s Napoli remain third, and their month could have gone better. They beat both A.C. Milan and Cagliari, but drew at home to Mantova and lost at Inter. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese are still fifth, and they went unbeaten this month, beating both Juventus and Frosinone 1-0, and drawing with Modena and Lecce.

    We’ll conclude the report with a quick mention of international friendly matches. Our four international managers each played one this month; Liam Ferguson’s England beat Bulgaria 3-0 at Wembley, with a brace from all-time top goalscorer Theo Walcott. It was, in fact, Walcott’s first goal in this match that saw him move ahead of the erstwhile record holder Sir Bobby Charlton. Saul Goode’s Wales beat the United Arab Emirates 5-0, while Tim Aubel’s United States hosted Germany in Tulsa, losing 1-3 with an Olaf Urban brace, despite a third-minute opening goal from Missouran striker Boyd Rose. Robert Boyle’s England u21s, like the senior team, hosted Bulgaria, and, like the senior team, won 3-0. Wales’ victory was actually the joint-biggest of the matchday, alongside Norway’s 5-0 win over Hong Kong and Japan’s clean-sheet-victory over Mongolia.

    Cup football offered much to talk about this month; league football not so much. Still, with the conclusion next month of the Champions League Last 16, as well as Coppa Italia and Europa League matches (plus Copa del Rey and FA Cup, but we don’t have any managers in that), there is more excitement to come, as the quest for silverware continues!

    Manager of the Update

    Only two of our managers could avoid defeat this month, and;

    Lucas Volman
    , Real Madrid

    gets the award for winning three from five games, one more than Tyler Burrows’s two. Real Madrid notched up ten points from twelve in La Liga, although will be slightly disappointed by a 4-4 Champions League draw at home to Inter. Haowan Madridstas didn’t do too badly either, securing Europa League progression, although his Barcelona team did lose their first game of the month at Zaragoza.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5349
       2nd tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Secure        5349
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        5349
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5349
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Stable        5349
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  28. #1528
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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
    All Star Top Ten – Shortest Time at Current Club/Nation
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Days
       1st NE hasdgfas        Tim Aubel         Fulham        United States 227
       2nd NE TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Ipswich       247
       3rd NE ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Racing        295
       4th +3 NepentheZ       Neppo Monster     Cagliari      Fiorentina    304
       5th -4 dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Portsmouth    394
       6th NE super_lampard   Super Lampard     Lecce         Sampdoria     459
       7th -1 IlikeJellybeans Jellybean Man     Numancia      Bayern Munich 463
       8th -5 SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Roma          841
       9th -5 Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis         949
      10th -5 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea       963

  29. #1529
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    Which manager has had the most clubs?
    http://footydiary.wordpress.com/

  30. #1530
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    I think it is dafuge, followed by you.

    Update 177

    Years: 14, Months: 177, Days: 5380


    It has been an exciting month for 60 to One. After going over 1500 days without a sacking, two managers have dropped in one month. Dips in form for both Lucas Volman and Tom Smith mean that, despite their large paycheques, both were given their March marching orders.

    It is now April 1st, and in the United Kingdom, that is commonly an occasion to play practical jokes on people. One might, for instance, start a 60 to One report by reporting that 40% of the managers have been fired in a single month. Of course, this isn’t true, so let’s take a look at what really happened in March, starting in Italy.

    Lord Weeman
    ’s Napoli are getting their act together again, and are closing that gap that separates them and the Serie A top spot. This month, they moved up one place to second and to within three points of leaders A.C. Milan. Weeman’s team actually won all three games this month, beating Atalanta 2-1, Livorno 2-0 and Modena 4-1. In addition, they overturned their Champions League deficit against Porto, beating the Portuguese team 5-1 at San Paolo, albeit with extra time, and so progress to the Quarter Finals 6-3 on aggregate. Choco and 20-year-old Italian striker Mattia Silvestri got a brace each. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese also did quite well in the league, beating both Catania and Lazio, although drawing at Sampdoria. They move above Leo Dodge’s Roma into fourth, but left the Champions League this month, despite a valiant 1-1 draw in Madrid against Atlético. 3-3 was the aggregate score, and Udinese were eliminated on the away goals rule. Meanwhile, the first leg of their Coppa Italia Semi-Final, at home to Inter, ended goalless.

    In England, all bets are off as to the title destination. You’d have to be a fool, and not just an April fool, to tip Arsenal, or any of the other three teams that can mathematically win, to win the league. Tom Smith’s Gunners, however, aren’t doing too badly: they are second, albeit eight points behind the Blues. In March, Arsenal beat Manchester United 1-0 and Fréderico Canvey’s Everton 3-0, but lost at dafuge’s Portsmouth, 1-2, thanks to a brace from Pompey striker Christian Iglesias (who scored for Argentina against Cameroon in the 2018 World Cup). Theo Walcott, however, was in fine form this month, unlike a certain other striker;

    The Craig Robson-o-meter

    Goals this Month: 0

    Total Goals: 35

    Cost per Goal: £1,371,428.57

    Walcott also netted the only goal in Arsenal’s 1-0 home win over Jellybean Man’s Bayern Munich in the Champions League. That means that, like Atlético Madrid, Arsenal progress on away goals after a 3-3 draw. In the league next month, the Gunners open at the Chelsea Stadium, and that’s sure to put to bed any hopes of an Arsenal title win this season. In the FA Cup Semi-Finals at Wembley, Chelsea will play Leeds, and Ben Taylor’s Ipswich will play Liverpool, after Middlesbrough, Bolton, Hull and Tottenham were knocked out in the Sixth Round.

    Time for a bit more Theo Walcott action now, as we cover what happened in this month’s international break. Liam Ferguson’s England played two games, a Euro 2024 qualifying game in Scotland and a friendly at home to Russia. The first ended 4-0 England, thanks to Theo Walcott’s hattrick and a goal for Craig Robson. The second, which was a much more equal game, saw the Three Lions win 3-1, thanks to an opener from Walcott 14 minutes in, a goal from 25-year-old Man City midfielder Bobby Hall in the 55th minute, and a Craig Robson goal five minutes after that. Saul Goode’s Wales also played two games, beating Kazakhstan 2-0 at home in the Euro 2024 qualifying and drawing 1-1 away with Croatia in the friendly. Aaron Ramsey was their Theo Walcott; the 32-year-old scored a goal in each match. Tim Aubel’s United States played one game, travelling to Trinidad to beat Trinidad and Tobago 3-0 with a brace from Jozy Altidore, who, with 104 goals, is the nation’s top goalscorer. Robert Boyle’s England u21s played two Under 21 Internationals (friendlies), drawing goalless in Scotland, and beating Russia 3-0 with a brace from 19-year-old Sheffield United striker Steve Martin. Both Northern Ireland and Ireland won their Euro 2024 qualifying match.

    Over to Spain now, where it looks like Barcelona and Real Madrid might be fighting it out for a Champions League place come the end of the season. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona are fourth, after winning three from four in a high scoring month. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid are fifth, after winning all three of their matches. The two teams are separated by a mere three points. Looking at their matches in more detail, Real beat Murcia 3-0, and both Zaragoza and Athletic 2-0. They also travelled to Milan in the Champions League, where, despite a brace from summer signing Emanuel Páez, they were on the wrong end of a 2-3 defeat, and left the tournament 7-6 on aggregate. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona started the month with an entirely-foreseeable loss at Atlético Madrid, 1-3. They then, however, bounced back with a 5-4 victory over Betis, a 5-1 victory over Deportivo, and a 4-3 victory over Cádiz. The Catalonian club also met A.S. Saint-Etienne in the Europa League, continuing their high scoring with a 4-2 home win and a 3-4 away defeat. This saw them squeeze through to the next round 7-6 on aggregate.

    I’ve told you what has happened to our sides in Europe this month, but I haven’t told you what will happen to them next month. The Champions League Quarter Final sees two tantalising one-nation ties, as well as two tantalising two-nation ties. Lord Weeman’s Napoli have it all to play for in their two-legged fixture against Cool Manager’s Inter, while Tom Smith’s Arsenal find Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea to be the bane of their existence once again, as the teams meet up in London for a Semi-Final place. Holders Man City get to meet Udinese’s conquerors Atlético Madrid, who have a historically poor record in the competition, and Liverpool meet Mikael Schøler’s Juventus. That does, of course, mean that Zaragoza, Marseille, Rangers and Besiktas all left the competition in the Last 16. The Europa League sees a heavy Spanish, Dutch and Italian presence. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona will play Leo Dodge’s Roma. Meanwhile, Betis play Valencia, A.C. Milan play Ajax, and Feyenoord play Lyon.

    It has been an exciting month, just like last month. The season’s climax is just around the corner, and is definitely something not to miss. Stay tuned!

    Manager of the Update

    It’s obvious who should win this month’s award. It’s a foregone conclusion for;

    Lord Weeman
    , Napoli

    after he won all four games this month, moving up a place in the league and securing Champions League progression with a 5-1 victory. You can’t ask for much more than that, and this award is well-deserved.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5380
       2nd tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Secure        5380
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        5380
         - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        5380
       5th Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Stable        5380
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  31. #1531
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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
    All Star Top Ten – Highest ‘Longest Time at a Club’
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Longest at  Days
       1st  0 SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Tottenham   3800
       2nd  0 TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Fiorentina  3442
       3rd  0 fergysafc       Liam Ferguson     Man City      Man City    2783
       4th  0 JSalter         James Salter      Reggina       Reggina     2710
       5th  0 Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Aston Villa 2591
       6th  0 Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Olympiakos  2532
       7th +1 m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Sevilla     2504
       8th +1 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter         Inter       2502
       9th +1 Robert_296      Robert Boyle      Blackburn     Newcastle   2127
      10th NE super_lampard   Super Lampard     Lecce         Lecce       2119

  32. #1532
    First Team Regular
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    16th January 2008
    Location
    Premier League Draft Champion x2, OTF Big Brother Winner
    Posts
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    Default

    Falling to third in the table

  33. #1533
    Third Team
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    25th March 2007
    Location
    Nottingham, United Kingdom
    Posts
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    Default

    Update 178
    Years: 14, Months: 178, Days: 5410


    We’ll get Update one hundred and seventy-eight straight underway in Spain, where Atlético Madrid are just a game away from officially clinching the La Liga title. They sit twelve points clear of Valencia at the top of the league, with four games to play. Technically, if Atlético lose all their games, and Valencia win all theirs, Valencia can win the league. So Atlético need to gain a point from their next game to put that speculative optimism to bed. As for our teams, Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona have built up a considerable seven-point lead over fifth-placed Real Madrid, meaning that Los Galácticos could be denied Champions League football next season. This month, Barça drew with both Valladolid and Getafe, before beating Valencia, Mallorca, Recreativo, and, finally, Real Madrid. El Classico, despite Real’s dominance, was complete after eight minutes, with Iñigo Fraile and Miguel Ángel Larrañaga scoring a goal each for Barcelona. Up until that point, Real’s month hadn’t been great – they drew at home to rivals Atlético and lost at Betis, before victories over Hércules, Deportivo and Cádiz. An away trip to Valencia awaits for Lucas Volman’s side, making that seven-point gap look even bigger. At the bottom of the table, Athletic and Gimnàstic have already been relegated, with Deportivo likely to follow them.

    Everything is done and dusted in the England; the title winner, the Champions League qualifiers, the Europa League qualifiers and the relegated teams, and all with two games still to go. Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea, to nobody’s shock, won the league this month, sealing the title with a 4-3 home win over Leeds, after which the trophy was presented, with blue ribbon and champagne. It marks the sixth trophy of McGuinness’s career, and the fifth of his Chelsea tenure. Tom Smith’s Arsenal are currently second, after an embarrassingly poor month in the league. First, they travelled to the Chelsea Stadium, where they lost 1-4, and then they hosted Aston Villa, drawing 1-1 with the side who were bottom at Christmas. They managed a 2-1 home win in the North London derby, but then lost 0-2 at Man City and 0-4 at Leicester, the former team of now-struggling striker Craig Robson. I must report;

    The Craig Robson-o-meter

    Goals this Month: 1

    Total Goals: 36

    Cost per Goal: £1,333,333.33

    Theo Walcott, also, seemed to lose his prolific goalscoring ability as Arsenal moved towards the end of the season. He, however, has a much prettier o-meter;

    The Theo Walcott-o-meter

    Goals this Month: 0

    Total Goals: 109

    Cost per Goal: £82,568.81

    Arnold J. Rimmer’s Newcastle and Lawrence Lazewski’s Man City join Arsenal and Chelsea in qualifying for next season’s Champions League. Leeds, Liverpool and Tottenham will get Europa League football. As expected, Aston Villa, Huddersfield and Q.P.R. were relegated. In the Championship all games have been played, with the exception of the playoffs. Jim Magilton’s Blackburn won the English second division this month, with a final day goalless draw at home to Brighton. Crystal Palace finished second and join Rovers in promotion, but Derby were pushed down to third on goal difference. They’ll contest the playoffs alongside Sheffield United, Coventry, and West Brom. Yeovil and Leyton Orient were relegated, as were Charlton Athletic, who ended the season bottom, without a win, and eighteen points behind 23rd-placed Orient. In the FA Cup Semi-Finals, Chelsea beat Brettney Joven’s Leeds 4-2 after extra time, and Liverpool had no problems overturning Ben Taylor’s Ipswich, winning 2-0. Can Chelsea do a second consecutive double?

    April saw some fabulous European football, so let’s see how things unfolded. Atlético Madrid and Man City got the Champions League Quarter Finals underway, with the Spanish side winning the first leg 2-0 at home. Meanwhile, Lord Weeman’s Napoli met Cool Manager’s Inter at San Paolo. Jozy Altidore put Inter in front in the 23rd minute, but Choco equalised for Napoli just after the half hour. Defensive midfielder Gianni De Santis made it 2-1 Napoli in the 57th minute when he converted a penalty given for a Bryan Thomson foul. The score, however, was made level once again, this time by Nathan Delfouneso in the 66th minute. But Mattia Silvestri wrapped up the win for Napoli with a goal in the last minute. Next, Liverpool hosted Mikael Schøler’s Juventus, and won with a solitary goal scored just before half time. Then Arsenal hosted Chelsea in the Battle of London. Arsenal started badly, conceding a goal through Chelsea leftback Martin Moss in the 8th minute, and things went from bad to worse for manager Tom Smith when John Fleck made it 2-0 in the 20th minute. Henri Saivet did salvage something with a goal eight minutes from time, but Arsenal were surely out of the competition. In the Europa League, Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona lost the first leg of their Quarter Final in Rome 2-4 to Leo Dodge’s Roma.

    In true style, Mikael Schøler’s Juventus reversed their 0-1 deficit to Liverpool, and, in the home leg, scored two extra time goals to carry themselves into the Final Four. Rafa Benítez’s team, who were solid competition in the match in Turin, didn’t know what hit them. In the other game that day, Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea were looking to rack up the aggregate scoreline against Arsenal. However, things went awry early on for Chelsea, when Serbian striker Stefan Pijic was sent off after eight minutes for elbowing Arsenal midfielder Redouane Bacha. From the free kick, the ball eventually found its way to Francesc Fabrègas, who rifled in a long range shot to level the aggregate scores. Arsenal then had chance after chance, but it was a Chelsea player who scored next, with Fabrègas’s corner going in off Joe Mattock in the 16th minute, and making it impossible for Arsenal to get eliminated on away goals. Chelsea did dominate the rest of the first half, and they also had a period of pressure in the second, but in the end, a bad backpass from Martin Moss was pounced upon by Moussa Sissoko, who made it 3-0 and carried Tom Smith’s Arsenal into the Semi-Finals. The next day, Inter and Napoli met in a fierce showdown at Giuseppe Meazza, where a plucky Napoli resisted all of Inter’s pressure and came away with one goal scored by Portuguese midfielder Hélder Trindade, and a 4-2 aggregate victory. In Manchester, Lawrence Lazewski’s title holders Manchester City levelled the aggregate score pretty quickly, going 2-0 within 40 minutes, but they couldn’t score again. It took penalties, but Atlético Madrid eliminated the winners of three of the last four tournaments, with Coutinho scoring his spot kick while Gareth Bale missed his. In Barcelona, Haowan Madridstas’s team notched up an incredible 6-1 win over Roma, with braces for Jacques Cissé and Marquinhos, which puts them through to the Europa League Semi-Finals 8-5 on aggregate. Feyenoord, Valencia and Ajax also got through.

    Napoli hosted Atlético Madrid in the first Champions League Semi-Final, and as if by karma, the home side dominated the game but couldn’t score, just like Cool Manager’s Inter against Napoli. Atlético Madrid, however, mustered just one shot all game, so weren’t likely to score either. The 0-0 result means an excellent away performance will be necessary if Napoli are to go through. Next, Mikael Schøler’s Juventus hosted Arsenal. Redouane Bacha put Arsenal ahead just before the half hour mark, but 23-year-old English attacking midfielder Reuben Hayward (the youngest player in the England squad, incidentally), levelled for Juventus in first half stoppage time. The two sides were very well-matched, and something like Hayward’s spectacular free kick seven minutes after the restart was exactly what was needed to give Juventus the win. The Europa League Final will see a Dutch side meet a Spanish side: Barcelona played their Semi-Final match away to Valencia, and they, like Juventus, scored in first half stoppage time. At this point, however, they were 0-2 and one man down, and although they got the score back to 2-2, they lost 2-3, still respectable for an away performance at such an elite stage. Ajax beat Feyenoord 3-1 at home.

    Time to conclude in Italy, where Napoli have fallen behind again in the title chase. This month, Lord Weeman’s team won their three away matches, against Frosinone, Lecce, and even against Juventus (which will come in handy if both reach the Champions League Final). However, home form was not as good: they drew at home to Reggina and lost at home to Rimini. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese, meanwhile, fell out of the Champions League places despite not doing too badly this month. They beat both Mantova and Reggina 3-1 away this month. They also drew goalless with Palermo and Livorno, and only lost to former league leaders A.C. Milan (they were overturned by Inter this month). However, they did leave the Coppa Italia after a 1-2 away loss to Inter in the second leg of their Semi-Final. If Burrows’s side had scored a goal at Friuli, they could have progressed on away goals. Inter will meet Mikael Schøler’s Juventus in the Final.

    It seems the season keeps increasing in intensity. With two of our teams still in the hunt for the Champions League, only reading the next report will inform you as to who wins it!

    Manager of the Update

    I was impressed this month by;

    Lord Weeman
    , Napoli

    who guided his team to an impressive Champions League victory over Inter, as well as ten points from fifteen in Serie A. I was also impressed by Haowan Madridstas, whose Barcelona team knocked Roma out of the Europa League in style, and who went unbeaten in the league this month. Weeman edges it for me, but it was a close contest.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5410
         - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5410
       3rd PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        5410
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5410
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Stable        5410
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  34. #1534
    Third Team
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    25th March 2007
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    Posts
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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
    All Star Top Ten – Lowest ‘Longest Time at a Club’
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Longest at Days
       1st NE Swafe           Saul Goode        Osasuna       Osasuna     551
       2nd NE NepentheZ       Neppo Monster     Cagliari      Wigan       712
       3rd NE canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Alavés      876
       4th NE brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         West Ham   1033
       5th NE ScottT!         Scott Tysoe       Sunderland    Everton    1114
       6th NE MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Deportivo  1182
       7th NE Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Villarreal 1230
       8th NE spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Valencia   1259
       9th NE el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    At. Madrid 1263
      10th NE IlikeJellybeans Jellybean Man     Numancia      Numancia   1320

  35. #1535
    First Team Regular
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    16th January 2008
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    Premier League Draft Champion x2, OTF Big Brother Winner
    Posts
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    yeah finals of the coppa italia xnod

  36. #1536
    Third Team
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    25th March 2007
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    Update 179
    Years: 14, Months: 179, Days: 5441


    The season is over, so let’s see how things went in May, starting in Italy.

    Cool Manager
    ’s Inter fought off the competition and returned the Scudetto to their trophy cabinet after a one year absence. For Lord Weeman’s Napoli, who ended up finishing third, it’s another year as an also-ran, and Napoli’s title win in 2012 remains their only one under Weeman’s management. This month, they beat Palermo and drew with Udinese, the latter despite dominating the game and only with the concession of a 90+3rd minute goal. They then ended the season disastrously, losing 0-3 at both Catania and Roma. Their Champions League match in Madrid this month saw Atlético Madrid win 1-0 with a goal from Coutinho, and so the Spanish side go on to the Final in Lisbon. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese went unbeaten this month, thanks to that 90+3rd minute goal. They won their other three matches, beating Rimini, Roma and Genoa. This meant they beat Leo Dodge’s side to fourth place, and Champions League football again next year. Roma follow, then Juventus and Palermo. Reggina, Atalanta and Livorno are relegated, with Parma winning Serie B. Neppo Monster’s Fiorentina also won promotion from Serie B, finishing second. Juventus won the Coppa Italia on penalties after drawing goalless with Inter.

    In Spain, Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid suffered a poor deterioration in form at the end of the season, securing seven points from twelve. Having said that, their form has been at about that level throughout the season. But it isn’t enough to close that seven point gap between them and Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona, who finished fourth. In fact, Real were lucky not to drop to sixth or lower. They beat Getafe and Mallorca, quite categorically in fact, but lost to Valencia and were held goalless at Recreativo on the final day of the season. Barcelona lost their first game of the month at Sevilla, but then beat Elche, Gimnàstic and Villarreal. The Elche result was a particular highlight, a 6-1 Barça victory, and just like the 6-1 drubbing of Roma last month, there were two braces; Jacques Cissé netted another two goals, and Basque striker Miguel Ángel Larrañaga also scored twice. Atlético Madrid won La Liga, of course, finishing thirteen points clear, and were followed by Valencia and Zaragoza. Getafe and Lars Tommersen’s Betis join Real Madrid in next season’s Europa League. Deportivo join Athletic and Gimnàstic in relegation, while Las Palmas, Theo Stigarakis’s Racing, and Badalona are promoted.

    As already mentioned, Atlético Madrid reached the Champions League Final, for the first time since 2020 (before that, 1974). But who did they meet there?

    Road to the Final – Champions League
    Josep Guardiola’s Atlético Madrid, after winning last season’s La Liga, entered the Champions League in the group stages. Here, they were drawn alongside Marseille, FC Zürich, and Werder Bremen. With the exception of a 1-1 draw in France, Atlético won all their games, and particular highlights were the 5-0 home and 3-0 away wins over their Swiss opponents. They topped their group, of course, and met Tyler Burrows’s Udinese in the Last 16. They earned a very credible 2-2 draw at Friuli, and although they couldn’t break the deadlock in the home leg, drawing 1-1, they advanced on away goals.

    Their opponents,
    Tom Smith’s Arsenal, started in Group H. Here, they met Porto, Austria Wien, and Bordeaux. They ended up with one victory and one draw over each team, including a rather poor goalless draw at home to Bordeaux being followed by a 3-1 win in France. A 6-0 victory over the visiting Austrians was also a highlight. Arsenal finished first, and drew Jellybean Man’s Bayern Munich in the Last 16. They took a 2-0 lead in Munich, but were brought back down to a 2-3 defeat. Still, it was enough, as a 1-0 home win put them away on away goals. The Quarter Finals saw them meet Chelsea, and after a 1-2 home defeat, they looked out of the competition. The Blues, however, capitulated at the Chelsea Stadium, losing 0-3, meaning Arsenal progressed 4-2.

    Atlético Madrid also faced a tough Quarter Final, being drawn against
    Lawrence Lazewski’s Man City, winners of three of the past four tournaments. However, the Spanish side won 2-0 at home, and skirted through on penalties despite the reversal of that result in Manchester. Next came Lord Weeman’s Napoli. Despite being bossed in Italy, Atlético escaped with a goalless draw, and knocked out the Italians with a 1-0 win at home. Arsenal, meanwhile, met Mikael Schøler’s Juventus in their Semi-Final. They lost 1-2 in Turin, but managed to neutralise that deficit in the return leg in London, forcing extra time. Juventus went down to ten men in the 96th minute, after a player protested too vigorously that the goal Craig Robson had just scored, which gave Arsenal the aggregate lead, was offside. Trinidadian striker Wesley Oliver then scored a brace to put the Gunners into the Final 6-3 on aggregate.

    The stage was set for a spectacular showdown at Estádio José Alvalade Século XXI. With 50,466 fans in tow, the two teams kicked off at 7.45pm local time. Atlético Madrid started brightly, and soon had themselves in front, with Freddy Adu shooting between two Arsenal defenders, past the Arsenal ‘keeper and into the net. From then on, however, Atlético’s control of the game started to wane, and in the second half, Arsenal were well and truly on top. They got the return on their effort investment in the 61st minute, when Frenchman Sofiane Feghouli netted the rebound of Henri Saivet’s saved shot. Arsenal continued to press forward, but couldn’t get another goal in normal time. Extra time came, and the Gunners dominated its first period, still unable to score again. Atlético got a better footing in the match in extra time’s second place, but neither side hit the back of the net, so the match would go to penalties. Both sides scored their first three, but on the fourth, while Benito Nicolas Viola scored for Atlético, Henri Saivet missed for Arsenal. 28-year-old rightback Ignacio scored for Atlético, giving them the crown.

    Of course, that wasn’t the only European final this month.

    Road to the Final – Europa League
    Mark Wotte’s Ajax started their European campaign in the Champions League, but were always going to find life in Group G tough, drawn alongside Liverpool and Real Madrid, as well as Beitar Jerusalem. In the end, as well as the six points picked up off Beitar, they got four points from those two teams, and finished short of qualification only on results between teams. However, they entered the Europa League, where they met Partizan Belgrade in the Last 32. A 6-1 win in Serbia had the tie taken care of virtually before it begun, and Ajax ran out 9-2 aggregate winners.

    Haowan Madridstas
    ’s Barcelona, unlike Ajax, started in the Europa League. However, before they could reach the group stages, they had to play two rounds of qualifying. First, they knocked out Croatia’s HNK Sibenik 12-0, with two 6-0 wins. They then played Le Mans of France, with a 2-0 away win setting up a 5-3 aggregate progression. Their group saw them alongside Metalurg Zp, APOEL Nicosia and Fenerbahçe. With the exception of a goalless draw in Turkey, Barcelona won all their matches, scoring twenty goals and conceding just two. This put them, in first place, into the Round of 32, where they met Olympiakos. A 1-0 victory in Greece was followed by a 3-2 one in Spain, allowing progression to a Last 16 tie against A.S. Saint-Etienne. Full of goals, this match saw Barça get through 7-6 on aggregate, with a 4-2 home win and 3-4 away loss.

    Ajax’s Round of 16 tie contained just as many goals. They made the forty minute drive to Alkmaar, to play AZ, and drew 3-3. In the return leg, Ajax won 4-3 to sneak through. They then played A.C. Milan, and booked their place in the Semi-Finals despite a 0-1 loss in Italy, winning 4-3 on aggregate thanks to a brace from Eden Hazard in the home leg. Barcelona, meanwhile, played
    Leo Dodge’s Roma in the Quarter Finals, and lost the Italian leg 2-4. They, however, wouldn’t take elimination for an answer, and romped to a 6-1 victory against the Romans in the return leg in Barcelona, meaning that they progressed 8-5 on aggregate. They booked their Final place in a similar fashion, losing 2-3 away to Valencia but coming back with a 7-0 home win, with braces for Marquinhos and for Japanese forward Naoya Sato. Ajax beat Feyenoord in their Semi-Final, with a 3-1 in the first leg at home putting them through despite a 1-2 away loss in the second.

    Just over 51,000 fans were welcomed to Glasgow’s Ibrox for the spectacle, and Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona started on the front foot. They got a goal after just seven minutes in, with Alexis Sánchez forcing his way into the box, shooting low, and getting it in the net. Barcelona kept up the high pressure, and could have been 2- or 3-0 up within half an hour, had their shots been less speculative. It was from thirty minutes in onwards that Ajax began to get a footing in the game, but they didn’t really seem to threaten, and, just as the first goal came when they weren’t really settled into things, as did the second. Four minutes after the second half kicked off, a Barcelona attack was rebuffed by 19-year-old Ajax ‘keeper Richard Christina, but the ball was sent out to Torric. Torric lobbed the ball back towards goal, and Christina was too slow to come for it, allowing Iñigo Fraile to shoot and score. Just eleven minutes after that, a powerful shot from 25-year-old Brazilian winger Cristiano preoccupied Barça ‘keeper Dean Bouzanis, allowing Ajax’s French midfielder Laurent Chauvet to score with the rebound. The rest of the game was pretty much split between Barcelona and Ajax, but neither side could put together great shots; usually they were from long range. And with that, Barcelona won the Europa League, and Madridstas got his first silverware since the Spanish Super Cup in 2020.

    We’ll end with a small note on how the season finished in England. Tom Smith’s Arsenal had a terrible final two games, but, with a Champions League Final impending and with qualification for next year’s competition already secured, that was understandable. The Gunners lost both matches 1-2, at home to Ipswich and away to already-relegated Huddersfield. This dropped them from second to fourth, and so excluded them from next season’s Community Shield. The Championship Playoffs were won by Derby, which seems fair as the Rams finished nine points ahead of fourth-placed Sheffield United. This month, Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea pulled off their second consecutive double, by beating Liverpool 1-0 in the FA Cup Final at Wembley, thanks to Robin Ridley’s goal just short of half time. Ridley, incidentally, was this month voted Premier League Players’ Player of the Year for the second time in his career.

    Our managers get a month or two off now, so I won’t keep them any longer. A good summer everyone!

    Manager of the Update

    After a jam-packed season finale, it’s clear that;

    Haowan Madridstas
    , Barcelona

    is the rightful winner of this award. The Spaniard took his team to the Europa League title by beating Ajax, and got to the Final this month by beating Valencia 7-0. Barça also tallied up ten goals in their four league games this month. Tyler Burrows also did well, winning three and drawing one of his last four games of the season with Udinese.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5441
         - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   5441
       3rd PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        5441
       4th tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        5441
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Stable        5441
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  37. #1537
    Third Team
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    25th March 2007
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    English Premier League Table
    Italian Serie A Table
    Spanish La Liga Table

    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
    All Star Top Ten – Lowest ‘Shortest Time at a Club’
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Shortest at  Days
       1st +5 ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Portsmouth     90
       2nd +2 m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Blackburn     142
       3rd -2 dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Everton       145
       4th -2 JSalter         James Salter      Reggina       Sporting      153
       5th NE hasdgfas        Tim Aubel         Fulham        Racing        166
       6th -3 Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Fiorentina    174
       7th NE TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Parma         194
       8th -3 NepentheZ       Neppo Monster     Cagliari      Cagliari      236
       9th -2 Almondo         Arnold J. Rimmer  Bolton        Man United    268
      10th -2 canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Valladolid    285

  38. #1538
    Part-Timer
    Join Date
    18th October 2008
    Posts
    1,658

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    So wait, have I been sacked or not?

  39. #1539
    Third Team
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    No you haven't: that was just an April Fools' joke .

  40. #1540
    World Cup Winner
    Join Date
    20th May 2003
    Posts
    56,400

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    Looks like things are finally going well for me, and at my local club

  41. #1541
    First Team Regular
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    16th January 2008
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    Premier League Draft Champion x2, OTF Big Brother Winner
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    Serie A champions Lost the Coppa Italia but winning the league is better

  42. #1542
    Third Team
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    26th May 2007
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    Still in the competition and into the Champions League again. I swear the game is hard-coded for Udinese not to win a title

  43. #1543
    Third Team
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    Update 180
    Years: 15, Months: 180, Days: 5471


    Full congratulations must go to our five managers, who this month completed fifteen years in the same job. That fifteen years without being sacked, and without being tempted away by another job. It’s some record.

    However, only one of them can stay there for the longest, and already one of our former managers has hung up his football boots forever. Of course, plenty of them have already done this, but Jellybean Man is the first one to have done it while in a job; the others had all been out of work for some time. Man departs his hotseat at Bayern Munich for a place to relax in Florida, while Martin Vásquez steps up to the plate in Munich. Some other retirements this month were Gordon Strachan, Scotland manager, whose seat has yet to be filled, and Dave Jones, Manchester United manager, who was replaced by former Aston Villa boss Martin Bojangles. Bojangles spent a considerable seven years at Villa Park; he’ll be hoping for some similar success at Old Trafford.

    There’s one transfer to talk to you about this month, and that’s the £5M sale of 21-year-old striker Domenico Piccolo from Tyler Burrows’s Udinese to Lecce. The bookies think that Udinese can’t make it three consecutive seasons with Champions League football, and tip them for fifth place. Lord Weeman’s Napoli are expected to finish third again. If they do, it will be their fifth consecutive season in that position. A.C. Milan are the Serie A favourites, with Torino being the only newly-promoted side to have relegation foreseen for them. Both Parma and Neppo Monster’s Fiorentina look capable of avoiding the drop, say the papers. Lecce and Cagliari are the favourites to take their place.

    With the domestic season over, there was room for some international games. Liam Ferguson’s England played two of their Euro 2024 qualifying games, both at Wembley, beating Slovenia 3-0 and Azerbaijan 5-0, the latter with a brace from Craig Robson. Saul Goode’s Wales played both their games away, drawing goalless in Greece and falling to a brutal 0-3 defeat in Italy. Robert Boyle’s England under 21s played three games, beating Slovenia and Azerbaijan in friendlies, and kicking off their European Under 21 Championships qualifying campaign in style with a 3-0 victory over Wales. The biggest wins of Euro 2024 qualifying matches came for Germany, who beat Malta 7-0, and Finland, who beat Luxembourg 6-0. Denmark, Finland, Romania, England, France, the Czech Republic, Norway, Italy, Sweden and Germany all top their groups.

    Tim Aubel
    ’s United States were also in action, in the North American Gold Cup. They started the group stage in style, thrashing Barbados 5-0 with two braces, from Jozy Altidore and from Freddy Adu. They then beat Guatemala 3-0, with 27-year-old striker Boyd Rose this time scoring the brace. Finally, neighbours Canada were beaten 4-0 with an Altidore hattrick. Costa Rica awaited in the Quarter Finals, and although it took a penalty for the Americans to take the lead, they ran out 2-0 winners. Aubel’s side then met Trinidad and Tobago, with Braga defender Tony Gayle giving them the lead in the 25th minute. However, the only Trinidadian player anyone has ever heard over, Wesley Oliver, scored a penalty to equalise in the 36th minute. 27-year-old Stuttgart midfielder Luke Twellman got the winning goal in the 67th minute. Unsurprisingly, the other Finalists were Mexico, and 21-year-old Besiktas winger Tony Heaney gave the States the lead in the 33rd minute. Ten minutes into the second half, Mexico got the reward for all their pressure, with veteran player Giovani dos Santos scoring. However, five minutes later, Jozy Altidore scored his seventh goal of the tournament, bringing the trophy back to the United States after a twelve-year estrangement.

    This year will be the year! That’s what the bookies, the papers, and the Manchester City fans are saying regarding the title chances of Lawrence Lazewski’s team. That’s right; the Citizens are tipped to top the Premier League again, with Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea second. Three consecutive third place finishes for City make it look unlikely. Arsenal and Newcastle are also top four favourites, with Crystal Palace and Derby tipped to go down. Blackburn, however, are believed to be capable of avoiding the drop, with Sheffield Wednesday taking their place. Aston Villa, of course, are the Championship favourites.

    So we’ve heard the odds on title wins and relegations, but what are the odds on the next 60 to One manager to leave? This is the time of year that contract extensions normally get handed out, but none of our managers has got one so far. With some contracts running out just next year, let’s put the five remaining managers into a crude order of sacking/leaving likelihood:
    Code:
      Pos Manager           Club        Salary   CntrExpry
      1st Tyler Burrows     Udinese     £ 33,000 30.6.2025
      2nd Haowan Madridstas Barcelona   £175,000 30.6.2024
      3rd Tom Smith         Arsenal     £245,000 30.6.2024
      4th Lucas Volman      Real Madrid £375,000 30.6.2024
      5th Lord Weeman       Napoli      £ 87,000 30.6.2026
    But we’ll see how much of that prediction holds water throughout the next season.

    Manager of the Update

    For a trophy win;

    Tim Aubel
    , United States (formerly of Fulham)

    wins this one. He took the Americans to the Gold Cup title after five consecutive Mexico wins, and his team scored eighteen goals on their way to the championship. Of our managers, Tyler Burrows did the only thing of note, selling a player for £5M.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5471
         - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   5471
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Very Secure   5471
         - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5471
       5th Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Stable        5471
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  44. #1544
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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
    All Star Top Ten – Highest ‘Shortest Time at a Club’
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Shortest at  Days
       1st NE fergysafc       Liam Ferguson     Man City      Man City     2783
       2nd NE BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter         Valencia     2410
       3rd NE Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Valladolid   1292
       4th NE el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Liverpool    1242
       5th NE Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Hull         1241
       6th NE spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Chelsea      1059
       7th NE SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Man United    708
       8th NE MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Bologna       613
       9th NE Swafe           Saul Goode        Osasuna       Osasuna       551
      10th NE ScottT!         Scott Tysoe       Sunderland    Sunderland    501

  45. #1545
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    DOes that mean that i am the most likely to be sacked or least likely to be sacked?

  46. #1546
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    yeah, won the Gold Cup!

  47. #1547
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    @PluckaDuck: That means you are the most likely to go next.

    Update 181

    Years: 15, Months: 181, Days: 5502


    For this July update, we’re going to go through the clubs one-by-one, alphabetically.

    Tom Smith
    ’s Arsenal made one big plunge into the transfer market this month, capturing the signature of Valencia’s Franco Zuculini for £11.5M. The Argentine midfielder counts Man City, Inter, Barcelona among his former clubs. Arsenal played five friendlies this month, drawing 1-1 away to Germinal Beerschot, Havre Athletic Club and Scott Tysoe’s Rangers, but beating both Stade Rennais and Cádiz. Henri Saivet and Theo Walcott did particularly well on the tour, getting three goals each. Smith got himself a one-year contract extension this month, keeping his current salary of £245,000 per week.

    Haowan Madridstas
    ’s Barcelona haven’t made any signings yet, despite needing to prepare to end their long Champions League estrangement this season. Their only transfer was the £3M sale of rightback César Azpilicueta to Lars Tommersen’s Betis. They played three friendlies this month, beating Sporting CP 4-1 at home and losing 0-1 at Anfield before travelling to Japan to beat Ballena Shizuoka 5-0, with a brace from Daniel Aquino. Haowan Madridstas managed to get himself three more years on his contract, which gives him until June 2027 in his current job. He maintains his current weekly salary of £175,000.

    Lord Weeman
    ’s Napoli have been preparing for another title assault with two big signings this month. French midfielder Gaël Kakuta joined from La Liga champions Atlético Madrid for £14M, and former Chelsea and A.C. Milan midfielder John Obi Mikel arrived on a free. Former favourite of Weeman’s, Slovakian midfielder Marek Hamsik, was released from the club. Napoli played two games, beating Kumamoto FC 2-0 in Japan and drawing 2-2 at fellow Italian club Benevento.

    Unfortunately for Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid, incomes this season are going to be a lot lower, given that they failed to qualify for the Champions League. With that in mind, Volman’s two signings this month have been inexpensive. 25-year-old Elche midfielder José Luis Jurado arrived at the Bernabéu for £6M, and 31-year-old leftback José Manuel Villegas joined from Zaragoza for £5.25M. Volman also made two big sales, both to Zaragoza, 22-year-old midfielder Rosario Bosi for £16.25M, and 31-year-old Argentine centreback Diego González for £9.25M. Real travelled to Bulgaria for their friendly this month, and beat little-known team Pirin Blagoevgrad 2-0. Given the worsened financial conditions at Real, and Volman’s already significant salary, the Italian has not been given a contract extension this month.

    Tyler Burrows
    continued his transfer tinkering at Udinese, and he’s already made a co-ownership deal. He signed half of Genoa’s 17-year-old centreback Massimo Perri for £95k. All of Frosinone’s talented 27-year-old striker Tommaso Meacci arrived for £3.1M. Miroslav Cerny, the Czech goalkeeper who arrived last season on a free from Newcastle, has departed on a free for Mantova. Deniz Naki and Willians, two loyal servants of the club, the latter for thirteen years, have been released by Burrows. Naki has returned to Fenerbahçe and Willians has found refuge at Porto. Udinese are two-thirds of the way through their pre-season tour of Portugal, having already beaten Leiria 3-0 and Rio Ave 4-0.

    So, that’s that. Next month, yet another season begins to pass under the wily old eyes of our managers. Until then, they’re enjoying their time off. Go on, dive in the pool again…

    Manager of the Update

    For making the most waves in the transfer window;

    Lucas Volman
    , Real Madrid

    gets this month’s award. He signed two players for a total of £11.25M, and sold two for £25.5M. He also won his only friendly, but failed to get himself a contract extension that might come in vital at the end of the season.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5502
       2nd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Secure        5502
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Secure        5502
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5502
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5502
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  48. #1548
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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
    All Star Top Ten – Players Bought (Number)
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club No
      1st +1 Neilio          Neilio            Almería       Palermo     106
       2nd +3 canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Everton      87
       3rd +7 ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Racing       86
       4th  0 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       85 *
       5th +2 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        81
       6th -3 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                      79
       7th -1 Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Man United   77
         -  0 spartan5        Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Man City     77
       9th  0 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      76 *
      10th NE ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      72
    Lifespan – 5 to 10 Years
    Code:
       Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days
       7th TaylorB              Ben Taylor          Fiorentina 3442
       8th fergysafc            Liam Ferguson       Man City   2783
       9th JSalter              James Salter        Reggina    2710
      10th mikeytwigge          Mikey Twigge        Palermo    2507
      11th BenArsenal           Ben Cee             Inter      2502
      12th super_lampard        Super Lampard       Lecce      2119
      13th Cardiovascular       Cardio Vascular     Genoa      2010
      14th Lower Leagues Rule   Jonte Rhodes        Lazio      1968
    Lifespan – 2 to 5 Years
    Code:
       Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days
      15th hasdgfas             Tim Aubel           Fulham     1705
      16th ~Ian~                Bryan McGuinness    Everton    1701
      17th rancer890            Ricky Nakano        Middlesbro 1614
      18th ssestig              Theo Stigarakis     Catania    1405
      19th bermybhoy            bermybhoy           Atalanta   1320
         - IlikeJellybeans      Jellybean Man       Numancia   1320
      21st m1234566778          Maz Armley          Racing     1288
      22nd el sid               Cool Manager        At. Madrid 1263
      23rd spartans5            Lawrence Lazewski   Valencia   1259
      24th Greasy Chip Butty    Andy Morton         Sporting   1244
      25th Martin_              Martin Bojangles    Hull       1241
      26th clrkaitken           Clark Aitken        Roma       1237
      27th Waghlon              Lars Tommersen      Villarreal 1230
      28th Walcott’s Wonderkids Brucie Bonus        West Brom  1210
      29th Almondo              Arnold J. Rimmer    Bolton     1208
      30th Neji                 Neji Hyuuga         Deportivo   999
      31st Jack Rudd            Lisa Jeffries       Juventus    925
      32nd pnefc22              Wobill Luman        Betis       889
      33rd AtilasMiserly        Will de Mote        A.C. Milan  882
      34th JoeLatics            Joe Gleeson         Espanyol    873
         - Blanco               Cristobal Blanco    Recreativo  873
      36th ian_1982             Maurice Jobson      Man United  852
      37th Ridleys              James Ridley        Siena       843
    Lifespan – 1 to 2 Years
    Code:
       Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days
      38th conners              Sirus Lannock       Málaga     628
      39th MikaelS              Mikael Schøler      Bologna    613
      40th Swafe                Saul Goode          Osasuna    551
      41st hamilton162          Tom Hamilton        Mallorca   509
      42nd kashmirshazad        Shazad Ali          Newcastle  508
      43rd DiscoStu94           Da Hoover Man       Sampdoria  501
         - ScottT!              Scott Tysoe         Sunderland 501
      45th canvey!!             Fréderico Canvey    Stoke      476
    Lifespan – Less than 1 Year
    Code:
       Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days
      46th corinthiano          Mathias Brunckhorst Chievo     327
         - Neilio               Neilio              Almería    327
      48th Robert_296           Robert Boyle        Blackburn  326
      49th brettney1980         Brettney Joven      Wigan      320
      50th TigerJoe             Joe Seddon          Getafe     271
      51st jack.browne          Jack Browne         Sevilla    250
      52nd NepentheZ            Neppo Monster       Cagliari   236
         - dafuge               dafuge              Torino     236
      54th KiddingChoc          Zach Machios        Portsmouth 235
         - Whoopy D             Whoopy D            West Ham   235
      56th d-machine            David Machine       Athletic   229
      57th PaulHartman71        Jeremy English      Liverpool  204
      58th Chimpos              Phill Ewles         Valladolid
         - tadr                 Andre da Conceiçao  Chelsea
         - markcator3006        Mark Cator          Aston Villa

  49. #1549
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    Update 182
    Years: 15, Months: 182, Days: 5533


    Season number sixteen is underway for some of our managers, so we too shall get cracking, and start the report in England.

    For England is the only one of our three countries to have started league football, with two games having been played in the Premier League. This, I feel, gives me a good opportunity to reflect on all of our managers currently plying their trade here. Tom Smith’s Arsenal lead the league at this early stage, having beaten Liverpool 2-0 and newly-promoted Blackburn 2-1. 29-year-old striker Craig Robson has already netted three goals, which brings me to;

    The Craig Robson-o-meter

    Goals this Month: 4

    Total Goals: 42

    Cost per Goal: £1,142,857.14

    dafuge's Portsmouth are sixth, the next-highest team with one of our managers. Pompey played two home games this month, beating Tottenham 2-0 and drawing goalless with Lawrence Lazewski’s Man City. That was actually one of two draws for City; they also drew 1-1 at home to Newcastle, and they currently sit 13th, two places above Arnold J. Rimmer’s Magpies. Newcastle’s other game was a loss, 2-3 at Goodison Park to Fréderico Canvey’s 8th-placed Everton. The Toffees lost their first game of the season 1-2 at home to Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea, who are one place above them in 7th after also having drawn at Hull. Brettney Joven’s Leeds are 14th, after drawing 2-2 at Sunderland and losing 1-2 at Middlesbrough. Ben Taylor’s Ipswich and Martin Bojangles’s Man United are both in the relegation zone, with the Tractor Boys having drawn with Leicester and lost to Tottenham this month, and the Red Devils having lost 0-2 to both Fulham and Liverpool.

    It’s time to look at the month’s transfers. After last year’s failure to finish in the top four for the first time since 2014, Lucas Volman needed to make some big moves to seal Champions League football again. This month, the Italian made no fewer than five transfers, totalling £33.8M. 18-year-old Pescara goalkeeper Luca Redaelli joined for £160k, Sevilla’s 22-year-old Spanish one Benjamín Ruiz for £375k, Stuttgart’s 28-year-old Andorran midfielder Miguel Oliver for £7.5M, Q.P.R.’s Spanish fullback Adolfo for £9.75M, and Inter’s Oscar for £16M. Meanwhile, their cross-city rivals Atlético Madrid made a £11.25M purchase of French attacking midfielder Sofiane Feghouli from Tom Smith’s Arsenal. In Italy, Lord Weeman’s Napoli signed Recreativo’s enthusiastic 19-year-old centreback Carles Domínguez for £12.25M, while Tyler Burrows’s Udinese sold young goalkeeper Luigi Mandelli to Brescia for £95k.

    With the season about to kick off, Spanish bookmakers and newspapers have been making their predictions as to where teams will finish. They say, once again, that Valencia can lift the La Liga title, and that Atlético Madrid will be denied a third consecutive win. Real Madrid are expected to recover to a fourth place finish, swapping with Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona. Theo Stigarakis’s Racing, who have just been promoted from the LIGA adelante, are expected to stay up, unlike their fellow La Liga newbies Las Palmas and Badalona. Mallorca are also tipped for relegation.

    We had four sides in Europe this month, three in the Champions League Best Placed Playoff. Tom Smith’s Arsenal faced Shakhtar Donetsk of the Ukraine, and, after a 2-0 win at home (this is where Craig Robson’s fourth goal came from), the Gunners drew in Donetsk, and progressed 3-1 on aggregate. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese travelled to Belgrade to play Red Star, where they won 3-0. They matched that result in the return leg in Italy, for a 6-0 aggregate win. That was also the score in Barcelona’s home match against Lille, and Haowan Madridstas’s side progressed 4-2 on aggregate after losing their second leg in France. Once again, our sides meet some tricky opponents in the group stages: Lord Weeman’s Napoli meet Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea, who have won two consecutive Premier League-FA Cup doubles; Barcelona meet Porto as well as Marseille and FC København; Udinese meet three-times competition winners Manchester City, and Arsenal face Zaragoza, alongside Feyenoord and FC Zürich. Our Europa League team was Real Madrid, who beat PAOK of Greece 7-1 on aggregate.

    August is Super Cup month, of course, so let’s see how those little pieces of silverware were awarded. In Italy, Cool Manager’s Inter beat Mikael Schøler’s Juventus 2-0 to win their twelfth Super Cup. In Spain, Zaragoza thrashed last season’s La Liga winners Atlético Madrid, with a 5-0 win at home and a 1-0 win away. Brazilian forward Nicão got a hattrick over the two legs. The Community Shield was returned to the Chelsea Stadium after Bryan McGuinness’s side beat Newcastle 5-2 in a thrilling encounter at Wembley. Five goals in the first half, including two for Chelsea’s Serbian striker Stefan Pijic, gave Arnold J. Rimmer’s side a chance, at 2-3 down. In the second half, however, Pijic completed his hattrick before Spanish winger Francesc made it 5-2 shortly before the hour mark. The UEFA Super Cup takes place next month, between Atlético Madrid and Barcelona. Barcelona have won just one of the teams’ last ten encounters.

    So that’s August for you. One of the months with the least football, but plenty to write about still. Just imagine all the stuff that will happen in September…

    Manager of the Update

    This one goes to;

    Tom Smith
    , Arsenal

    who made a good start to the season and now has his side sitting top of the Premier League. They also got through a round in the Champions League, and Smith made the brave decision to sell talented Frenchman Sofiane Feghouli, raising £11.25M in the process. Plaudits must also go to Tyler Burrows and Lucas Volman, who both won through their European rounds with six-goal winning margins, with Burrows making a tiny transfer profit and Volman making an audacious transfer spend. We’ll have to wait to see which strategy works better.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5533
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5533
       3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Secure        5533
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5533
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5533
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800
    Last edited by canvey!!; 15-02-2011 at 15:19.

  50. #1550
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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
    All Star Top Ten – Players Bought (Value)
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Value
       1st  0 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                      £804M
       2nd +1 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        £719M
       3rd +1 spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Man City     £685M
       4th -2 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    £677M *
       5th  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  £671M *
       6th  0 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       £571M *
       7th  0 fergysafc       Liam Ferguson     Man City      England      £515M
       8th  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      £482M *
       9th  0 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      £411M
      10th NE SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Roma         £343M

  51. #1551
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    This could be the year. Another great start in Europe and looked to have done well in the transfer market. A big signing sometime across the 15 seasons would be nice however

  52. #1552
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    Update 183
    Years: 15, Months: 183, Days: 5563


    The season is under way, so let’s examine September’s action, starting in Italy.

    Lord Weeman
    ’s Napoli lead the league, joint on 14 points with Cool Manager’s Inter. In September, Napoli enjoyed some bountiful home form, beating Frosinone 2-0, Lecce 2-0, and Roma 3-0. But their away form was a bit more uncertain, as they beat Palermo 1-0 but drew 2-2 with both Parma and Rimini. Weeman’s side made a good start to their Champions League campaign, beating Sparta Prague 3-0 in their first group stage game. This puts them top of their group, after Chelsea could beat Olympiakos only 1-0. Elsewhere in Italy, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese are third, a point behind Napoli and Inter. They also won four of their games this month, beating Modena, Mantova, Fiorentina and Genoa. However, they lost 2-3 in Rome against Lazio, and were held to a goalless draw at Torino. But their Champions League match also passed well; they managed to thoroughly overpower Manchester City, and beat the three-times winners 2-1.

    Spain, like Italy, kicked off their season this month. Atlético Madrid have already got another campaign to win the title off to a good start, winning four and drawing one of their first games. Most teams, however, have played just four games so far. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona won all four, and so, with the fifth game, can take the La Liga pole position. Barça’s games this month saw them win at Villarreal and Valladolid, and at home to Recreativo and Málaga. However, Atlético Madrid did draw the first blood, winning the UEFA Super Cup 3-1 in Monaco. Barcelona’s other European game this month went well, as they thrashed visitors FC København 6-0, with four goals for Ivorian striker Jacques Cissé. Meanwhile, Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid have made an indifferent start to the season. They did begin with two wins, over Hércules and Las Palmas, but as soon as they had to play an away game, they capitulated, 1-5 at Sevilla, and they squandered a 1-1 draw at Zaragoza, conceding two goals in second half stoppage time. In the Europa League, they were drawn against Le Mans, Partizan Belgrade and Levski Sofia, and they won their first game, at home to their French opponents, 3-0.

    September does of course see an international break. This month, Liam Ferguson’s England got their ninth consecutive victory, beating Hungary 3-0 in Budapest, with two goals from Craig Robson. Robert Boyle’s junior side also continued winning, getting their fifth and sixth wins over Bosnia and Herzegovina and Azerbaijan in European under 21 Championship 2025 qualifying. Saul Goode’s Wales welcomed Latvia to the Millenium Stadium, beating their visitors 1-0. Two nations have already qualified from their groups, they being France and Italy. Denmark, Turkey, Romania, England, Germany and Belgium, will, at the very least, be in the playoff for the second-placed teams.

    We’ll conclude in England, where Tom Smith’s Arsenal have slipped behind Chelsea on goal difference. Both, however, do sit at the top of the table, with 13 points each. This month, Arsenal started brightly, with away wins against Crystal Palace and Martin Bojangles’s Manchester United, but form started to stutter, with a goalless home draw against Fulham and a 2-5 loss at Newcastle. The Gunners did win both their cup games 3-0, beating Fulham in the Carling Cup Third Round, and FC Zürich in the Champions League group stages, both at home. A trip to Hull, who knocked out Newcastle, awaits Smith’s side in the League Cup Fourth Round, while Chelsea and Liverpool clash at the Chelsea Stadium.

    Some solid starts to the season, there. But how will they continue? We’ll find out next time…

    Manager of the Update

    This month;

    Lord Weeman
    , Napoli

    just about edges it for me. Haowan Madridstas made a wonderful start to La Liga and to the Champions League, but his side took such a beating in the UEFA Super Cup that it cost him this award. Weeman has his side top of Serie A after four wins and two draws, and he also got off to a winning start in the Champions League.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5563
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5563
       3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Secure        5563
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5563
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5563
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  53. #1553
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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
    All Star Top Ten – Players Sold (Number)
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club No
       1st +1 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  99 *
       2nd +1 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        89
         - -1 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                      89
       4th  0 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      87 *
       5th +2 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       79 *
       6th -1 m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing                     78
       7th NE Neilio          Neilio            Almería       Palermo      75
       8th  0 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    72 *
         - +1 canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Everton      72
      10th NE ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Racing       71

  54. #1554
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    Update 184
    Years: 15, Months: 184, Days: 5594


    Okay folks, October’s done, so let’s see how our five managers did, starting in good old Alba.

    Bryan McGuinness
    ’s Chelsea currently lead the English Premier League, and Tom Smith’s Arsenal are actually down in fourth place, below both Liverpool and Newcastle as well as the Pensioners. This month, Arsenal started poorly, losing at Middlesbrough and drawing at home to Sheffield Wednesday. They recovered, however, with a 2-1 win at the Stadium of Light, and a 2-0 home victory over Ben Taylor’s Ipswich, which saw the former Fiorentina boss sacked, with his side 19th. Maz Armley and James Salter are both linked with the vacancy at Portman Road, although Frank Lampard is the favourite. In the npower Championship, Sheffield United lead the way, on thirty points, with Coventry, Nottingham Forest and Aston Villa following in their wake.

    Now let’s talk about the international break. This month saw the conclusion of the Euro 2024 qualifying group stages. Liam Ferguson’s England travelled to Slovenia, where they bagged a 3-1 victory with a hattrick (two penalties) from Adam Pepper. Two Theo Walcott goals then sent Scotland down at Wembley. England, of course, won their group, with Scotland entering the playoffs and meeting Israel. Saul Goode’s Wales won both games 2-1, over Greece and in Kazakhstan. This put them easily in second place, behind Italy, so they proceed to the playoffs, where they’ll meet Belgium. Denmark ousted Slovakia, Portugal and Bosnia & Herzegovina in Group A to qualify, and Turkey topped Group B ahead of Finland, Poland and Lithuania. Group C was won by Croatia, who edged out Romania and Bulgaria. Group E was won by France, at the expense of Ireland and Serbia, while the Czech Republic forced Israel into the Playoffs from Group F, and forced Ukraine home. Spain beat Norway to qualification from Group G, and disqualified Switzerland and FYR Macedonia, while Sweden won Group I at the expense of Russia and Belarus. Germany came out on top of the race between Northern Ireland, Belgium and themselves. So the playoffs are;

    Norway vs. Slovakia

    Finland vs. Romania

    Wales vs. Belgium

    Israel vs. Scotland

    Ireland vs. Russia

    Tim Aubel’s United States played a friendly against St Martin this month, and won 6-1. Robert Boyle’s England under 21s won 3-1 in Bulgaria, and are currently six points clear at the top of their qualifying group.

    Over to Spain now, where Atlético Madrid lead La Liga. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona, however, are just three points behind them in second place. But this month could have gone better for Barcelona, who squandered a 100% winning start to the season with a 0-2 loss at Valencia and a draw at home to Betis. They earned seven points from twelve this month, so will want to be doing better in November. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid are fourth, and they won all their games this month, beating Valladolid, Recreativo, Villarreal and Málaga.

    Now we’ll take a look at our managers’ performances in Europe this month. Lord Weeman’s Napoli played two Champions League group stage games, winning 1-0 at Olympiakos but losing 2-3 at the Chelsea Stadium. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona drew 2-2 at Porto and won 4-0 at the supposedly-intimidating Stade Vélodrome. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese won two away games, at Hertha Berlin and at Standard Liège. Tom Smith’s Arsenal beat Feyenoord 3-1, but lost 1-2 to Zaragoza in Spain. In the Europa League, Lucas Volman’s got a narrow 3-2 win in Serbia against Partizan Belgrade, before they won 4-0 in Sofia against Levski.

    We’ll finish in Italy, starting with Udinese. Tyler Burrows’s side played three games this month, attaining one of each possible result. They lost 1-3 at home to Inter, drew goalless at Catania, and won 3-0 at Rimini. Udinese are currently 5th. Lord Weeman’s Napoli, meanwhile, are second, after they beat Juventus and Catania this month, but lost to Sampdoria.

    So Ben Taylor has got the sack this month, as we enter the period of mass dismissals. But which of our managers will be next to get his or her P45? The bookies tip Martin Bojangles, who have Manchester United 15th in the Premier League. This month, he grabbed narrow 1-0 wins over Ipswich and Portsmouth, but lost both away games, against Sunderland and Hull. I suppose you’ll have to wait until the next update to find out if he goes.

    Manager of the Update

    It’s been an impressive month from;

    Lucas Volman
    , Real Madrid

    and he fully deserves this award. Volman’s Real Madrid team won all their games, four in the league and two in the Europa League, scoring sixteen goals in the process. Well done Volman!

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5594
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5594
       3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Secure        5594
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5594
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5594
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
    All Star Top Ten – Players Sold (Value)
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Value
       1st  0 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                      £499M
       2nd  0 spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Man City     £397M
       3rd +2 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  £351M *
       4th -1 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        £349M
       5th +2 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      £324M
       6th  0 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       £301M *
       7th -3 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      £299M *
       8th  0 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    £276M *
       9th  0 fergysafc       Liam Ferguson     Man City      England      £266M
      10th  0 Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Man United   £234M

  56. #1556
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    Update 185
    Years: 15, Months: 185, Days: 5624


    It’s open-the-window time on our managers’ advent calendars, so let’s take a quick look at their 2023 Christmas lists.

    Top of Lucas Volman’s list is a new contract. He has just eight months left on his current deal, and, after an unbeaten month, the Real Madrid manager may feel like he deserves one. Real beat Racing and Mallorca in the league, but drew with Valencia, and they also progressed through the Copa del Rey Fourth Round after a 6-0 away and an 8-1 home victory over Jaén. The Spanish side also top their Europa League group, and would have qualified for the next round this month, had they beaten Le Mans. Alas, Volman’s side drew goalless in France, but that’s not to be sniffed at.

    Taking a look at Haowan Madridstas’s list, there are quite a few gadgets and gizmos there, but one thing on there is an improvement to league form. Barcelona haven’t won in five league games, which, for a side harbouring Champions League aspirations, is poor. This month, they drew 1-1 with both Elche and Atlético Madrid, but lost to Getafe. They did also get through the Copa del Rey Fourth Round, beating Real Unión 4-2 away and 4-1 at home. They also secured progress to the Champions League Last 16 after drawing their two group stage matchs, at home to Marseille, and in Copenhagen. In the latter game, which ended 1-1, Svend Aage Schøler (any relation, Mikael?) scored FC København’s goal in the 57th minute.

    ‘The title’ is all that was scribbled on a post-it note that Portuguese manager Tom Smith gave to his wife Margerita. Margerita had no luck looking for it on Oxford Street, and Smith himself isn’t having much luck in securing it through Premier League performances. Arsenal are third, and while the Gunners went unbeaten this month, just two points dropped could be crucial in the final run-in for top spot. They beat Hull, Man City and Fréderico Canvey’s Everton, and drew at home to Portsmouth. Arsenal travelled to The Circle to play their Carling Cup Fourth Round tie, and were knocked out on penalties by Hull after a goalless draw. They also played two Champions League games this month, drawing 2-2 at home to Zaragoza, but beat FC Zürich 5-0. Both Zaragoza and Arsenal are through to the Last 16.

    For dafuge, this Christmas will be one on a shoestring: the 55-year-old lost his job at Portsmouth this month. The side are 17th in the Premier League, eight places below pre-season expectations, and a loss at Hillsborough was the nail in the coffin for dafuge. In the game before that, Pompey had bowed out of the Carling Cup to Championship side Huddersfield. It’s back to the job centre for dafuge, but fortunately they already have all his details, so they only need to reactivate his profile. Robert Boyle will give multitasking another chance; the England under 21s manager has been given the job at Fratton Park.

    Earplugs, waffles and an oven glove are three of the most prominent items on the list of Andorran manager Tyler Burrows. That would imply that Burrows’s professional life is going pretty swimmingly at the moment, and indeed, that is the impression that is given off. And what’s not to be pleased about? Udinese went unbeaten this month, beating Frosinone and Lecce, and drawing with Parma in Serie A, and beating Standard Liège 3-0 and drawing at the City of Manchester Stadium in the Champions League. Udinese are through to the Last 16 of the European competition, and are likely to top their group.

    What is written on Lord Weeman’s fluorescent yellow pad of paper? ‘A trophy, any trophy’ is what I think it says. Weeman’s Napoli haven’t won a piece of silverware since the 2021 Club World Championship. That was two years ago, and Napoli haven’t really shown much since the flash in the pan that saw them take the Champions League, UEFA Super Cup and Club World Championship in one year. Perhaps this year is the year for the Serie A title (probably not though), as Napoli sit second with twelve games played, just three points behind Cool Manager’s Inter. In November, they drew at A.C. Milan, before beating Cagliari and Modena. They also drew both Champions League games, at home to Chelsea and away to Sparta Prague. Chelsea have already qualified for the next round, but a home tie against Olympiakos will determine whether Napoli join them.

    Saul Goode
    ’s list contains, among other things, Belgian chocolates, but this list item has been scribbled out. Perhaps Goode doesn’t see fit to support the country’s economy, when their football team has just knocked out his Welsh team in Euro 2024 qualifying. Wales won the first leg, at home, but when they travelled to Bruges, they found themselves on the wrong end of a 0-3 drubbing. Scotland also lost their playoff, after losing 1-3 in Israel and only winning 3-2 at home. Israel’s 23-year-old striker Giora Abramov was particularly good, scoring four goals over the two legs. Both Ireland and Norway drew their second, away, legs, at Russia and at Slovakia respectively, and they proceed 5-2 and 4-2 on aggregate respectively. Romania knocked out Finland with two 3-2 wins.

    Let’s hope, then, that the managers get all they wish for this Christmas. Or, if they don’t, that they get sacked from their jobs in a big ball of excitement.

    Manager of the Update

    I found it difficult to give this award.

    Tyler Burrows
    , Udinese

    edges it for me, over Lucas Volman. Udinese won three games and drew two, and one of their draws was a very laudable one at Manchester City. Real Madrid won four and drew two, including an 8-1 victory over Jaén.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5624
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   5624
       3rd Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Secure        5624
         - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        5624
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        5624
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  57. #1557
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    Manager of the month!!! Albiet Volman was probably better but it's noice to have the award shared around a bit

  58. #1558
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    We will win the Serie A, ul Napoli

  59. #1559
    World Cup Winner
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    Gutted

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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
    All Star Top Ten – Hall of Fame (Lawrence Lazewski is in the England Hall of Fame)
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           NAT Original Club Current Club Nty Ntn Eurp Wld 
       1st  0 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas ESP Barcelona     Barcelona    1st 1st  2nd 2nd
       2nd  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      ITA Real Madrid   Real Madrid  3rd 2nd  5th 5th
       3rd +1 spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski USA Valencia      Man City     1st 5th 18th
       4th -1 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         POR Arsenal       Arsenal      1st 3rd 19th
       5th  0 ian_1982        Maurice Jobson    RWA Man United    (retired)    1st
         -  0 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           SIN Inter                      1st
       7th  0 clrkaitken      Clark Aitken      CAN Roma          (retired)    2nd
         - +3 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    DEN Bologna       Juventus     2nd
         -  0 el sid          Cool Manager      ENG At. Madrid    Inter        2nd
      10th -1 Jack_Rudd       Lisa Jeffries     CAN Juventus      (retired)    3rd

  61. #1561
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    Update 186
    Years: 15, Months: 186, Days: 5655


    Happy new year managers! Lets see in the new year with a roundup of December news, starting in Italy.

    The Serie A title race is still as hot as ever, with Cool Manager’s Inter leading the way, but by a mere three points, Lord Weeman’s Napoli are second, but they could have done better this month. After beating both Mantova and Neppo Monster’s Fiorentina, they drew at home to Lazio and lost at Genoa. On the plus side, however, they reached the Coppa Italia Quarter Finals after beating Parma 5-0 in the First Round. Meanwhile, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese are holding off Mikael Schøler’s Juventus in the race for fourth place. In December, Udinese lost to both Palermo and Sampdoria, drew with Schøler’s Turin team, and beat Leo Dodge’s Roma. They also knocked Fiorentina out of the Coppa Italia, and a home tie against Juvé awaits in the Quarter Finals. Napoli will travel to Sicily to meet Palermo.

    Over to England now, where it’s the same old story: Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea are opening a massive gap between themselves and the rest of the Premier League. After twenty games, they lead second-placed Arsenal by seven points. Tom Smith’s Gunners lost at the Chelsea Stadium this month, before drawing at Derby but racking up four consecutive wins over Tottenham, Leicester, Leeds and Blackburn. Next month, Arsenal will host Milton Keynes Dons in the FA Cup Third Round. Sunderland versus Fulham is the only all-Premier League tie, although Chelsea will get the opportunity to tally some goals with a home match against League 2 Lincoln City.

    One of our managers in Spain has had a pretty good month, and the other has suffered total meltdown. One of them has just seven months left on his contract, and that was the one who had the terrible month. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid lost to Betis, Elche and Atlético Madrid, and drew with Getafe this month. One point from twelve means the transfer window couldn’t come sooner for Volman. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona, meanwhile, beat Murcia, Cádiz and Badalona this month, before losing to Zaragoza. The win over Badalona was an impressive 6-0 one, but that over Murcia went one better: 7-0, a result which led to the sacking of Luis César. Former Athletic and Sporting boss James Salter was appointed to the hotseat.

    The European group stages have concluded, but how did they end? In the Champions League, Tom Smith’s Arsenal won 3-0 at Feyenoord, but still finish below Zaragoza in qualifying for the next round. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese showed Hertha Berlin what they were capable of, beating the Germans 4-1 and qualifying top from their group, while fellow Italians Napoli beat Olympiakos 3-1, securing their own qualification. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona were held goalless at home to Porto, and so qualify for the next round in second place. The Europa League was some respite for Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid, as they beat Partizan Belgrade 6-0 and Levski Sofia 4-0. Real meet Arnold J. Rimmer’s Newcastle in the Last 32, with a tie against Monaco or Hertha Berlin to come if they can win through against the Magpies. In the Champions League, two of our managers will meet as Barcelona take on Udinese, while Arsenal meet A.C. Milan and Napoli play Zaragoza. Holders Atlético Madrid meet Benfica, Lyon meet Porto, and Man City meet Valencia, while a battle of Britain sees Celtic play Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea. European football kicks off again in February.

    Manager of the Update

    All our managers lost at least one game this month, and out of the contenders;

    Tom Smith
    , Arsenal

    did the best. He, Lord Weeman and Haowan Madridstas were the better three managers this month – Madridstas lost one, drew one and won three, Weeman lost one, drew one and won four, and Smith lost one, drew one and won five, so that speaks for itself really.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5655
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   5655
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5655
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        5655
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        5655
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
    All Star Top Ten – League Titles
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club T
       1st  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      8 *
       2nd  0 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                      6
       3rd +1 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        5
         -  0 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    5 *
       5th -1 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  4 *
       6th NE MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     2
         - NE ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      2
       8th    9 others                                                     1

  63. #1563
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    Looking good for that 6th league title!

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    Update 187
    Years: 15, Months: 187, Days: 5686


    I think we should start our January 2024 report with a joke. A man enters a diner, and orders a hamburger. When his meal is brought to him, he discovers that there is a hair on the hamburger. He reports this to the waitress, who takes the man to the kitchen, where, to the man’s horror, he sees the chef flatten a hamburger under his armpit.
    “That’s disgusting!” the man says to the waitress.
    “You think that’s disgusting,” she replies. “You should see him make doughnuts.”

    Okay, we’ll be starting in England, where Tom Smith’s Arsenal are trying their very hardest to keep up with Premier League leaders Chelsea, but find themselves eight points behind, with fourteen games to play. This month, the Gunners beat Crystal Palace and Martin Bojangles’s Man United, drew at Anfield, and lost at Craven Cottage. They did, however, reach the FA Cup Fifth Round, beating MK Dons 4-0 in the Third Round and Liverpool 1-0 in the Fourth Round. Either Colchester or Ipswich will travel to the Emirates for the Fifth Round. Arsenal made three transfers this month, signing 32-year-old Sheffield Wednesday goalkeeper Liam O’Brien for £650k, and making two sales: centreback Mark Clark to Inter for £7.75M, and goalkeeper Kim Sang-Duk to Newcastle for £2.2M.

    Now it’s over to Spain for the first three games of Real Madrid’s and Barcelona’s months. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid drew 2-2 at Cádiz, before winning games against James Salter’s Murcia and against Badalona. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona beat Sevilla and Las Palmas before drawing 2-2 at Hércules. The two teams then met in a showdown at the Nou Camp. Francesco Bolzoni put Barça 1-0 up in the 11th minute, and although Real equalised in the 26th, Barcelona took the lead again two minutes later. Marquinhos put the result beyond doubt for Barcelona with his 65th minute penalty. Both sides played two rounds of the Copa del Rey this month: Barcelona knocked out Valladolid with two 1-0 wins, before falling 2-3 on aggregate to Zaragoza. Real Madrid beat Córdoba 6-0 on aggregate, before a 4-1 win at Mallorca led to a 5-2 aggregate win. That puts Real into the Semi-Final to face Lars Tommersen’s Betis, and it is the first time they have reached this stage since 2021.

    Cool Manager
    ’s Inter are shimmying ever closer to the Serie A title, but Lord Weeman’s Napoli are trying their hardest to stop them. In January, Napoli beat Torino, Udinese, Parma and Frosinone, but lost to Inter in Milan. They did, however, win 4-1 at Palermo in the Coppa Italia Quarter Final. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese, meanwhile, had a terrible month; as well as the loss to Napoli, they fell to defeat against A.C. Milan and Modena, and could only draw at home to Cagliari. They did end the month with a 3-0 win over 6th-placed Mantova, but themselves are 10th. They left the Coppa Italia with a 0-1 home defeat to Mikael Schøler’s Juventus. Juventus play Inter in the Semi-Finals, while Napoli play Leo Dodge’s Roma.

    I’ve told you about Arsenal’s transfers this month, but what about our other managers? Tyler Burrows, like Tom Smith, signed one player and sold two. Uruguayan midfielder Víctor Sosa arrived at Udinese from Man City for £1.5M, while 22-year-old striker Paolo Mattioli joined FC Sochaux-Montbéliard for £1.2M, and striker Fabio Manzini joined Livorno for £950k. Lord Weeman bought half of Palermo’s 17-year-old centreback Michele de Marco for £275k, before selling him to Aarau for the same price. Goalkeeper Matteo Andreoletti joined Wolfsburg for £950k. Lucas Volman, in a bid to save his season and his job, made a massive £52M purchase, of Manchester United’s Keith Smith, a 22-year-old central defender, born in Clacton-on-Sea, Essex. Volman also signed Schalke 04’s 27-year-old German striker Ángel Martínez Moreno for £19M. We will have to wait to see whether those mighty spends will pay dividends.

    See you next time, folks! You should see him make doughnuts!

    Manager of the Update

    It’s been close this month, but;

    Lucas Volman
    , Real Madrid

    picks up this award, despite defeat in El Classico. I didn’t feel right giving this award to Haowan Madridstas, who was knocked out of the Copa del Rey, and Tom Smith didn’t do enough in my mind either. Volman gets this one for having a month that wasn’t too bad, especially after the last, for getting through two Spanish Cup rounds, and for chucking in the kitchen sink in an attempt to fix this season.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5686
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   5686
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5686
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        5686
       5th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5686
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

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    Poor month that one Must get a few solid results to secure my future.

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    Terrible joke

    Good win against Napoli

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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
    All Star Top Ten – Cup Titles
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club CT
       1st  0 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    22 *
       2nd  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  20 *
       3rd  0 spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Man City     18
       4th  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      12 *
       5th  0 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        10
       6th  0 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                       7
       7th NE ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea       6
         -  0 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli        6 *
       9th NE MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus      5
      10th -2 SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Roma          4

  68. #1568
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    Update 188
    Years: 15, Months: 188, Days: 5715


    Leap year! Everyone got an extra day this month, and I wonder what our managers did with theirs? I know Tyler Burrows is working on a life-sized human made of bacon, so he probably spent the day on that. The rest, you know, probably did some stuff with friends and family or something.

    We’ll start the February report with European football, which started again this month. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid travelled to St James’ Park, Newcastle, this month, for their Europa League Last 32 tie against Arnold J. Rimmer’s side. A five-minute period with three goals saw most of the action, and the two teams drew 2-2. That was the perfect foundation for Real Madrid’s 3-0 home win which sent them through 5-2 on aggregate. AS Monaco await in the Last 16. In the Champions League, Arsenal beat A.C. Milan 2-0 at the Emirates, and will probably go through, while Napoli beat Zaragoza 2-1 at home, and probably won’t. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese travelled to Barcelona, and held the Spanish side to a goalless draw, so could knock the Europa League holders out. Chelsea, Porto and Inter won 1-0, away to Celtic, Lyon and Bayern Munich respectively. Lawrence Lazewski’s Man City beat his former team Valencia 4-2 at home, while Atlético Madrid and Benfica drew goalless in Portugal.

    Lord Weeman
    ’s Napoli cannot do a lot about Inter Milan speeding away at the top of Serie A. Inter now have a nine point lead, although Napoli do have one game in hand. This month, Weeman’s side beat Rimini, Lecce and Palermo. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese had an improved month, which sees them climb from 10th to 6th. They lost to Neppo Monster’s Fiorentina, but beat Lazio and Torino, and drew with Genoa. An away trip to Inter awaits next month.

    Looking at the current league table, there’s a real chance that Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea could get toppled from the top of the Premier League. But, Tom Smith, before you get too excited, it is Liverpool that are within two points of the Blues. Arsenal dropped points all over the place this month, with goalless draws against Sheffield Wednesday and Sunderland, and defeat at home to Middlesbrough. In fact, the Gunners won just one game this month, against Newcastle, although they did beat Jim Magilton’s Ipswich 3-0 in the FA Cup Fifth Round. Their Sixth Round tie will be at Old Trafford. In other England news, with his side 17th in the Premier League, and following a 0-3 loss to Chelsea, Ian Holloway lost his job as Leicester boss. Former Portsmouth and Fiorentina manager Theo Stigarakis was chosen as an apt replacement, so Leicester paid Racing the £450k compensation, and snagged the Anglo-Grecian, who drew with Man City and beat Tottenham in his first two matches.

    Let’s make the opposite journey to Stigarakis, moving from England to Spain. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona are in the process of securing their top four finish. They currently sit fourth, with an eight-point gap separating them and fifth-placed Getafe. This month, Barça won all three league games, beating Valladolid, Recreativo and Villarreal. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid, on the other hand, are seventh, but have a six-point cushion against dropping another league position. This month, they beat Sevilla and Hércules and drew with Las Palmas, but that didn’t seem to translate to a climb in the league, probably because those around Real Madrid are also winning. Volman’s side also played their Copa del Rey Semi-Final first leg, winning 1-0 at home to Lars Tommersen’s Betis.

    The question on everybody’s lips is whether or not Lucas Volman will get a new contract. With that in mind, I have created a countdown, which tells you how many days the 63-year-old has on his current deal. That number, at the moment, is 122 days, or four months. It’s gripping edge-of-your-seat-£375,000-per-week action. Keep tuned!

    Manager of the Update

    You can’t ask for much more than four wins from four, and with that in mind;

    Lord Weeman
    , Napoli

    is this month’s winner. Napoli won all three league games, and beat Zaragoza in the Champions League. Credit also goes to Lucas Volman, who had a good league month and progressed in the Europa League.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5715
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   5715
       3rd Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Secure        5715
         - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        5715
       5th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5715
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

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    Life sized human made of bacon? I guess managers do need a career after football....

    Will be interesting to see if Volman gets a new contract. I wouldn't be surprised if Madrid got rid of him, given they could get another manager, probably of equal or marginally less talent for less than one tenth of that wage. As long as they don't go after me, I'm happy.

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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
    All Star Top Ten – Awards (This is stuff like the Premier League Manager of the Year, etc.)
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Aw
       1st NE tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      36 *
       2nd NE spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Man City     20
       3rd NE fergysafc       Liam Ferguson     Man City      England      15
         - NE Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    15 *
       5th NE el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        12
         - NE Almondo         Arnold J. Rimmer  Bolton        Newcastle    12
         - NE Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  12 *
       8th NE SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Roma         11
         - NE ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      11
      10th NE brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         Leeds         9
         - NE BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                       9

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    Update 189
    Years: 15, Months: 189, Days: 5746


    March has been an exciting month, with all sorts of managerial changes. We’ll get to them in due course, but let’s start this report in Spain.

    There’s a fiery title race going on, with Atlético Madrid and Zaragoza separated by just one point at the top of La Liga. A further six points behind Zaragoza, you’ll find Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona, in third place. In March, they beat Racing, Málaga, Valencia and Elche, but drew with Mallorca and with Betis. They left the Champions League this month, following a 0-3 loss at Tyler Burrows’s Udinese. An away trip to Atlético Madrid for their next match will probably see them ruled out of the title race (although not mathematically). Meanwhile, Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid are chasing down that top four place. They are currently seven points behind fourth-placed Valencia, with ten games to play. This month, they beat Valladolid, Villarreal, Málaga, Zaragoza and Racing, but lost to Recreativo. They reached the Europa League Quarter Finals after winning 4-3 at home to Monaco and 1-0 in the principality, and they also progressed to the Copa del Rey Final on away goals despite a 1-2 loss at Betis. Hopefully that will placate the Real Madrid board: Volman has just 91 days left on his current contract.

    We’ll head over to Italy now, where Lord Weeman’s Napoli are doing their utmost to stop Inter strolling to the title. The gap between the two teams is now five points, after Napoli beat Sampdoria, Cagliari and Catania this month, drawing with A.C. Milan and Juventus. It is worth noting that Napoli’s 2-0 win over Sampdoria left Super Lampard’s club 13th in Serie A, so they sacked the 56-year-old. As a replacement, they looked towards a manager that didn’t speak any Italian, but who had done well to re-establish Everton in the Premier League. Fréderico Canvey made the move to Luigi Ferraris, taking quite a pay cut in the process. His Everton side had just lost 1-2 to Chelsea in the Carling Cup Final at Wembley. Ian Holloway took the Everton hotseat, and Canvey, who, incidentally, was hired on the date of my real-life birthday, won his first game 6-0. Back to Napoli, Weeman’s side secured Champions League progression by attaining a laudable 3-3 draw at Zaragoza, which puts them through 5-4 on aggregate. They did, however, lose their Coppa Italia Semi-Final first leg, 0-1 at Roma.

    You’ve already heard about Tyler Burrows’s Udinese’s Champions League antics, but how did they do in Serie A? Very well, in fact, collecting thirteen points from a possible fifteen. They won 1-0 at Itner to start the month, and beat Catania, Parma and Rimini, drawing at Frosinone. Not too shabby!

    The run-in for the Premier League is so close, that no pundit has been able to predict with any air of certainty who will win it. Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea are the current most likely candidates, as they lead by four points. But Liverpool, and Tom Smith’s Arsenal, are also valid competitors. Arsenal are a further two points behind Liverpool. Liverpool have the easiest schedule ahead, so don’t be surprised if the trophy ends up heading to Anfield after a 34-year absence. This month, Arsenal beat Hull and Everton, drew with Ipswich and lost to Portsmouth. Don’t be surprised if, on the basis of this form, their title challenge withers away at the death. They also left the FA Cup after a 0-1 loss at Old Trafford in the Sixth Round, and although that loss was mirrored in their Champions League match at A.C. Milan, the Gunners proceed 2-1 on aggregate.

    Elsewhere in England (and this gets its own paragraph), Lawrence Lazewski’s Man City were struggling in the league, sitting in 9th place. However, they usually did well in the Champions League, having won three of the last five tournaments. So, having beaten Valencia 4-2 in the home leg of their Last 16, they were confident of progression as they travelled to the Spanis coast. But they lost 0-4, and Lazewski got his marching orders from a Man City board running out of patience. This brought his 2937-day tenure to an end, although he leaves the Man City trophy room 13 pieces of silverware to the better. Ironically, it was Valencia who put the final nail in his coffin, and it was Ben Cee that took his job. The Singaporean was reported as eager to return to management, having been out of it for over two years.

    What awaits in Europe next month? The Champions League Quarter Finals will see Napoli meet Udinese in an exciting clash, while Arsenal play Bayern Munich. Chelsea will meet the holders, Atlético Madrid, and Valencia will play Porto. That does of course mean that Inter Milan, Celtic, Benfica and Lyon left in the Last 16. In the Europa League, Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid will play Neilio’s Palermo, while Tottenham meet Liverpool, Leo Dodge’s Roma meet Scott Tysoe’s Rangers, and Lars Tommersen’s Betis meet Mikael Schøler’s Juventus.

    It’s been a month of change. Some of our managers will have to adapt to new surroundings, be they the Italian coast, or the job centre.

    Manager of the Update

    I was really impressed by this scamp this month.

    Tyler Burrows
    , Udinese

    picks up the March award. He went unbeaten this month, including a 3-0 win over Barcelona and a victory at Serie A leaders Inter. A mention goes to Lucas Volman, who secured Europa League and Copa del Rey progress, while picking up 83% of the available league points, but he still hasn’t managed to get a signature on that elusive contract extension.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5746
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   5746
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5746
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        5746
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        5746
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

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    Great month from Udinese to beat Barca so convincingly. A mighty performance and a great month in general.

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    Still leading the Serie A
    Losing in the CL

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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
    All Star Top Ten – Games Played at Current Club
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Pld
       1st  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      956 *
       2nd  0 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    954 *
       3rd  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  919 *
       4th  0 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      784 *
       5th  0 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       775 *
       6th  0 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     480
       7th  0 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        466
       8th +1 brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         Leeds        361
       9th NE Neilio          Neilio            Almería       Palermo      237
      10th NE ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      228

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    Update 190
    Years: 15, Months: 190, Days: 5776


    I am told that 190 is a happy number. What this means is that its digits can be squared and added up to form a new number, and the process is repeated until you reach 1. Unhappy numbers will loop in a cycle that does not include 1. Not to be cynical, but let’s try this out. 1 + 81 = 82, 64 + 4 = 68, 36 + 64 = 100, 1 = 1. Very good! Anyway, 190 is happy, so this month, we’re going to give our managers happiness ratings, and we’ll go through them alphabetically by surname.

    That does of course mean that Tyler Burrows is up first. His Udinese team didn’t have a great month, beating Lecce and Fréderico Canvey’s Sampdoria in the league, but drawing with Palermo and losing to both Roma and Juventus. With three games left in their season, Udinese are 7th, but are still in with a slim chance of Champions League football next season. That is, of course, assuming they don’t win this season’s Champions League. They won’t; they lost their Quarter Final match at Napoli 0-4, and went out 1-5 on aggregate.
    Tyler Burrows Happiness Rating:
    He’s still entertaining hopes of a top four finish, but all in all, this month has been pretty poor for Burrows. 2 STARS

    Haowan Madridstas
    is up next, so how did Barcelona do in April? With only league games to play, they went unbeaten, defeating Getafe, Murcia, Cádiz and Badalona, and drawing goalless at Atlético Madrid. They are third, and six points behind leaders Zaragoza, but they had a very good month, and realistically, the 13 points they picked up were all they could have hoped for.
    Haowan Madridstas Happiness Rating:
    A very good month, and Madridstas is also safe in the knowledge that he has over three years on his contract. 5 STARS

    As we’ve reached the halfway point in the alphabet, let’s examine this month’s short international break. Liam Ferguson’s England hosted Mexico at Wembley, and ran rampant in a 6-0 victory. Nathan Delfouneso got a hattrick, and 27-year-old Liverpool midfielder Craig Douglas, Adam Pepper, and, on his debut, Crystal Palace’s Dan Shepherd, all added a goal each. Saul Goode’s Wales beat Saudi Arabia 1-0, while Tim Aubel’s United States beat Qatar 3-1. The biggest Friendly win came for Chile, who beat Singapore 7-0.

    Back to the managers’ happiness ratings now, with Tom Smith. Chelsea’s sixteen-game lead at the top of the Premier League came to an end this month, but it wasn’t Arsenal that broke it, but Liverpool, who won all their league games this month. Arsenal find themselves seven points behind the Reds, and therefore out of the title race in every single way. In April, the Gunners lost the North London derby 1-2 at White Hart Lane, drew goalless at Ben Cee’s Man City, and beat both Chelsea and Derby. They beat Bayern Munich 3-1 at the Emirates, but found themselves knocked out of the Champions League after a 0-2 defeat in Germany. Smith also finds his managerial description changed to ‘Under pressure manager’, although his job is described as Very Secure.
    Tom Smith Happiness Rating:
    I don’t think Smith did too badly this month. Which makes elimination from two competitions even harder to take. 1 STAR

    Lucas Volman
    ’s up next, and Real Madrid had a good month. In La Liga, they beat Mallorca 3-0 and Elche 6-1, but drew 2-2 at Lars Tommersen’s Betis. With seven games to play, they sit seven points behind fourth-placed Valencia, and next month’s tie between the two sides at the Bernabéu might be crucial. Real, however, count both Atlético Madrid and Barcelona among their future opponents, so have a tougher run-in. With just 61 days remaining on Volman’s contract, he might be getting pretty anxious. In the Europa League, Real Madrid engineered victory over Neilio’s Palermo, drawing 1-1 at home and winning 1-0 in Sicily. Real play Leo Dodge’s Roma in the Europa League Semi-Final, while Tottenham Hotspur play Lars Tommersen’s Betis.
    Lucas Volman Happiness Rating:
    That fourth place finish looks a long way away, although the Europa League and Copa del Rey are available as silverware. Would they get Volman a new contract, though? I’m sure he is wondering just as much as we are. 3 STARS

    And that leaves Lord Weeman to finish the report. Napoli have been unable to close the gap on Cool Manager’s Inter this month, despite wins over Modena, Fiorentina and Genoa, and a draw with Mantova. Inter remain five points clear at the top, but the sides meet at San Paolo next month, which means, if Napoli can win, the distance will be just two points. Weeman’s side also have a game in hand, so the task isn’t impossible, simply difficult. Napoli, of course, knocked out Udinese in the Champions League Quarter Finals, and met Chelsea in the Final Four. Unfortunately, Bryan McGuinness’s side won 4-1 at Chelsea Stadium, but it was difficult seeing Napoli winning the Champions League anyway, and they reached the Coppa Italia Final 2-1 on aggregate after beating Leo Dodge’s Roma 2-0 at home. Valencia and Bayern Munich will contest the other Champions League Semi-Final.
    Lord Weeman Happiness Rating:
    Although the Champions League adventure looks over, Napoli did well to get so far, and they reached the Coppa Italia Final too. The title chase however, is almost over, and Weeman’s side have a lot to do if they want to finish first. Still, a pretty good picture at San Paolo this month. 4 STARS

    So, a range of happiness levels among our managers. I can only end this report by saying, “Chin up!”

    Manager of the Update


    Haowan Madridstas
    , Barcelona

    gets this award, for a very good month in La Liga. Barcelona won four of their games, and only stopped winning to draw at second-placed Atlético Madrid. Honourable mentions go to Lucas Volman, whose Real Madrid side picked up seven points from nine in the league and got to the Europa League Semi-Final, and to Lord Weeman, who got Napoli into the Champions League Semi-Final and the Coppa Italia Final.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5776
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   5776
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5776
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        5776
       5th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5776
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  76. #1576
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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
    All Star Top Ten – Games Won at Current Club
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Won Percent Chnge
       1st  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      653 (67.9%) -1.7% *
       2nd  0 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    636 (66.3%) -0.1% *
       3rd  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  612 (66.2%) -0.8% *
       4th  0 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       459 (58.6%) +0.5% *
       5th  0 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      430 (54.4%) -0.2% *
       6th  0 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        326 (69.1%) +0.6%
       7th +1 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     293 (60.2%)  0.0%
       8th +1 brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         Leeds        172 (47.0%) +1.4%
       9th +1 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      167 (70.8%) -1.1%
      10th NE SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Roma         120 (58.5%)  n/a

  77. #1577
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    Like the creativity Canvey. Not a good month from us, but hanging around the European places has been in our nature for many seasons now, so may it continue.

  78. #1578
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    Highest percent of matches won

  79. #1579
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    Update 191
    Years: 15, Months: 191, Days: 5807


    So, we reach the season finale, and the opportunity once more for our managers to win some silverware. Let’s start this report in London, England.

    I predicted that Tom Smith’s Arsenal might fall away as the English Premier League season came to a close, and indeed that is what happened. The Gunners finish fourth after beating Leeds but losing to Theo Stigarakis’s Leicester. That’s a second consecutive fourth-placed finish for the London club. Hull, Blackburn and Crystal Palace were relegated from the top flight, to be replaced by Sheffield United, Aston Villa and Southampton. Rafa Benítez’s Liverpool won the league, ousting Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea and seizing the title for the first time in 35 years. Chelsea did, however, lift the FA Cup for the third consecutive time after a 2-0 win over Middlesbrough at Wembley. They also reached the Champions League Final…

    …which was played against Bayern Munich in front of 54,851 fans at Vicente Calderón, Madrid. Chelsea bossed the game, but it was Bayern who took the lead, after twenty minutes, with striker Raúl Nava beating a couple of Chelsea defenders before firing the ball into the net from a tight angle. Chelsea took almost the entire game to get back into it, but levelled eight minutes from time thanks to a one-touch finish from 20-year-old reserve striker Ricky Lescott. Extra time passed without incident, and it got to the dreaded penalty shootout. The shootout went poorly, with both sides missing their first spot kicks, and Chelsea missing their next two also, while their German opponents converted. It got to the fourth penalty: both teams scored, which meant that Bayern Munich won the Champions League 3-1 from the spot. It is the first time since 2004 that a team outside of England, Italy and Spain has won Europe’s elite club competition.

    That wasn’t the only European Final this month.

    Road to the Final – Europa League
    Jürgen Klinsmann’s Tottenham started their European campaign in the Europa League Third Qualifying Round, where they beat the Czech Republic’s Jablonec 8-0 despite not being able to score away. Spurs then reached the group stages with two 2-0 wins over Motherwell in the Fourth Qualifying Round. They were drawn in a group with Phill Ewles’s Besiktas, as well as AE Anorthosis Famagusta, and Zenit St. Petersburg. With the exception of a goalless draw in Cyprus, Spurs won all their games, scoring 21 goals in the process. The highlight was a 7-0 win at home to the Cypriot team Anorthosi.

    Lucas Volman
    ’s Real Madrid would have Partizan Belgrade, Levski Sofia and Le Mans in their group, but to get there, they had to beat PAOK Salonika in the Fourth Qualifying Round. Real won 4-0 at home and 3-1 in Greece to secure progression. They, like Tottenham, won all but one of their group stage games, with the sixth also being a goalless draw, this time in France. Real Madrid, however, came one short of Spurs’ goal total, tallying twenty, including six in a 6-0 home win against Partizan. This gave the Spanish side a Last 32 tie against Arnold J. Rimmer’s Newcastle. They drew 2-2 at St James’ Park, and won 5-2 on aggregate.

    Tottenham’s Last 32 tie came against Lille. They eked out two narrow victories to win 3-1 on aggregate, setting up a Last 16 match with Dinamo Kiev, whom they beat 4-1 at home and 7-3 on aggregate. They also won their Quarter Final home leg 4-1, against Premier League winners Liverpool, and held the Reds to a goalless draw at Anfield. Real Madrid beat AS Monaco 4-3 at home and 1-0 away in their Last 16 tie, and knocked out Palermo 2-1 in the Quarter Finals, despite drawing 1-1 at home. This set up a Semi-Final against another Italian side,
    Leo Dodge’s Roma, and although Real lost 2-4 in Rome, they won 5-4 on aggregate after a spirited home comeback. Tottenham played Betis, winning 2-1 away and advancing 4-3 on aggregate.

    It was just a two hour coach journey for Tottenham, as the Final was played at Southampton’s St Mary’s Stadium. Spurs got off to a brilliant start, taking the lead in the 19th minute via 31-year-old striker George Anderson, and doubling it from the spot six minutes later, with Scottish winger John Williams converting the penalty given for Iosu Alkorta’s foul on Anderson. After a further five minutes, Spurs were 3-0 up, with 24-year-old striker Mark Walker rounding the Real defence and slotting it home. Real Madrid did get a goal back in the 36th minute, through 24-year-old Argentine striker Emanuel Páez’s header, but Tottenham’s bright start seemed to have taken the wind out of their sails, and they couldn’t muster a comeback, leaving Klinsmann’s side to collect the trophy.

    We’ll head over to Italy now, where the wheels came off Napoli’s title wagon this month. Although they held Inter to a goalless draw, they themselves were held without scoring by Torino, and they lost to Leo Dodge’s Roma. They recovered towards the end of the month, beating Lazio and Udinese, but it was too late by then, and Cool Manager’s Inter swept to the Scudetto, with a seven-point lead. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese also had a relatively poor month. Although the game against Napoli was the only one they lost, it was one of just three that they played, and they drew 1-1 at Cagliari and beat A.C. Milan 1-0. That leaves them ninth; five places below their predicted finish, and out of the running for European qualification. Elsewhere, relegation-threatened Lazio sacked their manager this month, and appointed former Sampdoria boss James Ridley as his replacement. Although Lazio lost their final game of the season, a derby, 0-4 at Leo Dodge’s Roma, conceding all four goals from Serbian dangerman Milun Karisik, they survived on results between teams, with Torino instead joining Lecce and Cagliari in relegation. There is still a Serie B game to play, but Atalanta won it, with Livorno also being promoted.

    Lord Weeman
    , after squandering his own club’s opportunity for one, had the chance to prevent Cool Manager’s Inter from winning a double, in the Coppa Italia Final.

    Road to the Final – Coppa Italia
    Napoli’s First Round match came against Parma, whom they beat 5-0. They then knocked out Neilio’s Palermo in the Quarter Finals, with a 4-1 win in Sicily. Meanwhile, Cool Manager’s Inter beat Triestina 4-1 in the First Round, and Sampdoria 3-0 in the Last Eight. Inter then faced a tie with Mikael Schøler’s Juventus, whom they beat 3-1 on aggregate with a 3-0 home win. Napoli reached the Final by beating Roma 2-1 on aggregate, despite a 0-1 loss in the Italian capital.

    The match got under way very quickly, with 25-year-old midfielder Luca Mattioli powering Inter into the lead with his long-range shot after just three minutes. After a further three minutes, however, Napoli were level again, with Portuguese midfielder Hélder Trindade heading home. After a quarter of an hour, Lord Weeman’s side were actually in front, thanks to Lauri Dalla Valle’s solo effort. Inter, however, refused to roll over, and Nathan Delfouneso levelled the scores again just after the half hour mark. After such a flurry of action, the rest of normal time was a bit of an anti-climax, and extra time started in an attempt to break the deadlock. Nine minutes into that, Portuguese right winger Pedro Valente gave Inter the lead with a simple lob into an empty goal after Napoli ‘keeper Luca Nardi failed to recover from a save. But the tug of war continued, with Inter going down to ten men after 108 minutes, Matt Hazell being given a second yellow card, and Brazilian Choco headed in Trindade’s corner five minutes from time. Penalties then came, of course, and both sides scored their first three. 21-year-old Raffaello Casadei scored for Inter, but then Davide Santon missed for Napoli. Delfouneso slotted home the winning spot kick for Cool Manager’s side.

    That wasn’t the only domestic cup final involving one of our managers this month.

    Road to the Final – Copa del Rey
    Lucas Volman
    ’s Real Madrid kicked off their Copa del Rey campaign in the Fourth Round, as usual. Here, they beat Jáen 14-1 on aggregate, including a 6-0 win away. This put them through to the Fifth Round, where they were also dominant against Córdoba, winning 2-0 away and 4-0 at home. Things got a bit tougher in the Quarter Final, but Mallorca were seen off 5-2 on aggregate with a 4-1 win at the insular club.

    Atlético Madrid started against Huesca, and won 7-0 on aggregate with a 5-0 home victory. They then faced Sevilla in the Fifth Round, winning 1-0 away and progressing 5-0 in total. Cádiz awaited in the Last Eight, and were seen off 7-1 on aggregate. This meant the Final was in sight, and that ticket to the Nou Camp was secured with a 3-3 away goals victory over Zaragoza. Real Madrid also needed away goals, drawing 2-2 with
    Lars Tommersen’s Betis.

    The match was a bit of a brutal affair, with three players being stretchered off injured. Real Madrid never looked in with a chance, taking just two shots on target throughout the game. Atlético took the lead in the 25th minute, with Sergio Agüero volleying the ball past Real’s 19-year-old ‘keeper Luca Redaelli. Atlético could have gone 2-0 up ten minutes into the second half, when Real Madrid’s 27-year-old German forward Ángel Martínez Moreno tripped Andrea Russotto in the penalty area. Lúcio, however, sent his spot kick right at Redaelli. But a 1-0 lead was sufficient, as Lucas Volman’s side weren’t capable of any spectacular comeback, and that made two Finals lost this month.

    But how did they do in La Liga? They started the month terribly, with a 1-3 loss at home to Getafe. Things picked up, however, and the team beat James Salter’s Murcia, Cádiz, Badalona, Valencia, and drew at Atlético Madrid. Valencia, meanwhile, lost to Málaga and, of course, Real, while drawing with Mallorca and Zaragoza and winning just one game, against Racing. That does mean that Lucas Volman’s side overtake Valencia, and they currently sit in 4th place. That Champions League football isn’t secured just yet, however, as there is still a game to play, and one point separates Valencia and Real, but it was good enough for the Real Madrid board, who handed Volman a four-year contract extension worth £78M. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona secured their own top four finish, with wins over Las Palmas and Hércules and defeats to Zaragoza and Sevilla this month. Zaragoza have won the league, stopping Atlético at three consecutive victories, and Valladolid and Badalona have been relegated.

    All eyes now turn to the Netherlands, where Euro 2024 takes place. I’ll bring you all the action, all in HD, but until then, I must bid you adieu!

    Manager of the Update

    Normally at the end of the season, there are plenty of plaudits to be handed around. But quite frankly, it’s been a terrible month for our managers. I feel I have no choice but to give this award to;

    Cool Manager
    , Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)

    after he guided his team to the Serie A-Coppa Italia double, for only the second time in their history. Manager has won Inter twelve titles during his tenure, and has made them truly dominant in the Italian league. Now he just needs to claim that ever-elusive European title. The best of our managers this month was, in my view, Haowan Madridstas, as his two losses weren’t that incidental.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   5807
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5807
         - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   5807
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Very Secure   5807
       5th tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        5807
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800
    Last edited by canvey!!; 06-02-2011 at 15:04. Reason: Thanks Biscotti!

  80. #1580
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    You write-ups are always such a fantastic read, canvey!!, that I find myself sucked into them even though I have no involvement in the sign-up in question. It's the same with Afrovision as well.

    Also, just thought I should point out (In the Europa final write-up):

    After a further five minutes, Spurs were 3-0 up, with 24-year-old striker Mark Walker rounding the Barcelona defence and slotting it home.

  81. #1581
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    Thanks for the heartwarming praise, Biscotti. It's good to know that I am interesting those who aren't in the sign-up, especially as we get fewer and fewer people still in the running. And thanks for the error-checking - feel free to point them out, there are normally two to three in each update, with varying noticeability.

    Tables to come next month

    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
    All Star Top Ten – Games Drawn at Current Club
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Drn Percent Chnge
       1st  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  179 (19.2%)  0.0% *
       2nd +1 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      176 (18.3%) +0.6% *
       3rd +1 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       171 (21.6%) +0.2% *
         - -1 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    171 (17.8%)  0.0% *
       5th  0 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      163 (20.5%) +1.1% *
       6th  0 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     101 (20.6%) +0.4%
       7th  0 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter         89 (18.7%) -0.4%
       8th +1 brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         Leeds         82 (22.3%) -0.9%
       9th NE Neilio          Neilio            Almería       Palermo       53 (27.7%)  n/a
      10th NE ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea       45 (18.7%)  n/a

  82. #1582
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    Manager of the month, Serie A champions and winners of the Coppa Italia \o/ \o/ Fantastic month that one! Nathan Delfouneso

    Next season, the Champions League

  83. #1583
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    Euro 2024 Preview

    All eyes turn to the Netherlands for the 17th quadriennial European Championships. Let’s look at the sixteen contenders for the title, and end with canvey!!’s patented stats burst.

    Group A
    would be the logical place to start, and it sees two Nordic nations and two bigger nations lacking in recent success. With Sweden and Norway generally performing pretty well, and Italy and Germany fairly frequently failing to impress, it’s quite difficult to predict this group. Germany should make it through, but the second place prediction is tougher. I think Sweden and Norway will cancel each other out in their match against each other, leaving the path clear for Italy to advance.

    The hosts the Netherlands compete in Group B, but they will need to work hard to reach the next round. There aren’t any particularly strong teams in the Dutch group, but the teams are all pretty similar in ability. This means, I feel, that Belgium will fall by the wayside, with Denmark topping the group. This leads the Dutch to fight it out with the Czech Republic, and I do think that the Netherlands will just edge it.

    Over to Group C now, where we find defending champions and winners of the last three World Cups, Spain, who are clearly going to top the group. Ireland, Romania and Croatia will be fighting it out for second place, and I think the Irish will have a poor tournament, with Romania beating Croatia to qualification.

    Finally, Group D sees Liam Ferguson’s England. They have France to contend with, as well as Middle Eastern nations Turkey and Israel. One would think that England and France would make it through, but it isn’t neccesarily that clear-cut. Israel shouldn’t mount any threat, unfortunately, and I think that England, the world number one nation, can follow France into the second round, but don’t be surprised if Ferguson’s team top the group.

    Okay, a stats burst now. I’m going to do what I did for Euro 2020, because I am really fascinated by how the nations replace their real-life players. So here’s a list of how many real players each nation has, along with the players in question, and, if the nation was in Euro 2020, a comparison. Germany obviously have no real players.
    Code:
      Nation         # DIF Players
      France         7 -12 Sofiane Feghouli, Moussa Sissoko, Yannis Tafer, Henri Saivet, Timothée Kolodzieczak, Terence Makengo,
                           Dennis Appiah
      Belgium        4 -10 Steven Defour, Axel Witsel, Dedryck Boyata, Eden Hazard
      Israel         4 n/a Maor Bozaglo, Ben Sahar, Gai Assulin, Eyal Golasa
      Sweden         4 n/a Albin Ekdal, Ole Söderberg, André Möllestam, Alexander Kacaniklic
      Denmark        3 - 6 Simon Kjær, Mathias Jørgensen, Nikola Saric
      England        3 - 5 Theo Walcott, Nathan Delfouneso, Adam Pepper
      Netherlands    3 -10 Ismail Aissati, Patrick van Aanholt, Georginio Wijnaldum
      Norway         3 – 5 Lars Stubhaug, Håvard Nordtveit, Jo Inge Berget
      Croatia        2 - 8 Ivan Rakitic, Mario Ticinovic
      Czech Republic 2 - 5 Marek Stech, Vaclav Kadlec
      Ireland        2 n/a James McCarthy, Conor Clifford
      Italy          2 -11 Alberto Paloschi, Vincenzo Fiorillo
      Spain          2 -11 Sergio Asenjo, Ignacio Camacho
      Turkey         2 - 8 Nuri Sahin, Özgür Çek
      Romania        1 n/a Rãzvan Ochirosii


    I’d say it’s the last European Championships for every single one of these players, so let’s wish them luck! Euro 2024 coming right up, as well as the conclusion of the Spanish league season!

  84. #1584
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    Update 192 and Euro 2024 Report
    Years: 16, Months: 192, Days: 5837


    It’s December 27th, and I’m listening to Tom Milsom and eating Maltesers. What could be better? Plenty of things. Nonetheless, I feel in a relaxed enough mood to write update one hundred and ninety-two, which celebrates sixteen years at the same club for our five managers.

    Before we get cracking on Euro 2024, let’s see how the La Liga season ended, with the one match of interest to us: El Classico. Barcelona’s Miguel Ángel Larrañaga scored the only goal of the match in the 36th minute, which meant that Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid were in danger of missing out on Champions League football. Volman owes Lars Tommersen, however, as Betis held Valencia to a 2-2 home draw, meaning Real Madrid do get that fourth-placed finish. Cádiz joined Valladolid and Badalona in relegation, with Deportivo, Alavés and Athletic getting promoted.

    The Czech Republic and the Netherlands opened Euro 2024, and I predicted that the Dutch would have a tough tournament, but I did think they would edge the game against the Czechs. They didn’t; Pavel Nedved’s team won 3-1 with the help of two first half goals from Young Boys’ striker Jakub Prochazka. The Czech Republic continued to do well in Group B, beating my group favourites Denmark 3-0 in their next match, with Vaclav Kadlec this time bagging the brace. In their final game, they beat Belgium 1-0, allowing them to top the group. Denmark ended up losing all three games, going down 2-3 in an exciting match against Belgium, and losing their final game to the Dutch thanks to a winner five minutes from time from Frankfurt’s Jurgen van der Horst. That meant hosts Netherlands would fight against Belgium for qualification, and the Dutch found this battle particularly easy, winning 4-0, with goals in the 31st, 32nd, 33rd and 37th minutes. Bam!
    canvey!!’s Prediction:
    Denmark, Netherlands, Czech Republic, Belgium
    Actual Result:
    Czech Republic (9), Netherlands (6), Belgium (3), Denmark (0)
    Accuracy:
    45%

    At this point, by the way, I have finished my Maltesers. I only had about half a box anyway.

    We’ll continue our Euro 2024 coverage with Group A. I predicted that Germany and Italy would be able to oust their Nordic competitors Norway and Sweden. That they did; Germany romped to group victory, beating Norway 3-1, Sweden 4-2, and Italy 1-0. Ghanaian-born striker Peter Pond was notable in all three games, scoring two braces against the Nordic countries, and the sole goal in the Italy match. Italy beat Sweden 2-1 and Norway 4-2, and I predicted that Norway and Sweden would draw, thereby letting in Italy and Germany, but that wasn’t the case: Norway won the match between the two 3-1.
    canvey!!’s Prediction:
    Germany, Italy, Norway/Sweden
    Actual Result:
    Germany (9), Italy (6), Norway (3), Sweden (0)
    Accuracy:
    80 to 100%

    We’ll take a short break from Euro 2024 to head over to Italy, for a look back at this month’s transfers, and a look forward to where the teams might finish this season. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese made two transfers this month, neither of which were co-ownerships (gasp!). Genoa’s 18-year-old central defender Massimo Perri joined for £350k, and Catania’s 18-year-old striker Andrea Palumbo joined for £775k. Udinese are predicted a two-place rise this year, up to 7th, which would get them European football next season. But, seeing how erratic their season-to-season form is, they could just as easily finish 15th and Burrows given his marching orders. Lord Weeman’s Napoli are tipped to finish 3rd again, and pundits still continue to name A.C. Milan as their title favourites. I would place a lot of money on Cool Manager’s Inter to win it. Parma, Livorno and Vincenza are favourites for the drop.

    Group C
    is up next, and is home to World champions Spain. The Spanish actually had a lot of difficult in this group, taking a 2-0 lead against Ireland and holding it with 14 minutes to go, but drawing 2-2, and just about holding Croatia to a 1-1 draw. They did sneak into the next round, however, by beating my tip for second place, Romania, 2-0. Croatia won the group, unbeaten, with a 3-0 victory over Romania and a 1-0 one over Ireland. The Irish finished dead last, as predicted, after losing 2-4 to Romania, with the Romanians scoring after one minute, the Irish after two, and the Romanians again after four.
    canvey!!’s Prediction:
    Spain, Romania, Croatia, Ireland
    Actual Result:
    Croatia (7), Spain (5), Romania (3), Ireland (1)
    Accuracy:
    60%

    And finally, the group that Liam Ferguson has been waiting for: England’s Group D. England got off to a cracking start, beating Israel 3-0 with two goals from Theo Walcott and one from Craig Robson, in a nine-minute period early on in the match. Adam Pepper, however, got sent off just past the half hour mark, so was unavailable for the Turkey match. Perhaps his absence was felt; the two teams were deadlocked, and drew 1-1. But England returned to winning ways in their last game, demolishing France 3-0. Once again, it was two goals from Walcott and one from Robson. France, however, had won both their other games, 2-0 over Turkey and 4-1 over Israel, and so finished second. Not a single regen scored for the French: Henri Saivet and Sofiane Feghouli each got two goals, and Moussa Sissoko and Yannis Tafer each got one. Turkey and Israel played out a dull goalless draw in their final group game.
    canvey!!’s Prediction:
    France, England, Turkey, Israel
    Actual Result:
    England (7), France (6), Turkey (2), Israel (1)
    Accuracy:
    80%

    I have finished listening to Tom Milsom, and am still slightly undecided about him, but am erring on the side of not liking him: he sounds a bit like me when I try to sing, which isn’t great as I sound really posh. I’m now listening to a little-known Liverpudlian band called the Beatles. Speaking of Liverpool, what fate is predicted this season for last season’s Premier League champions? They will finish third, say the papers, and Ben Cee’s Manchester City are predicted to win the league, despite not having won it since 2020, having finished seventh last year, and having appointed a manager who wasn’t exactly a roaring success at Valencia. Tom Smith’s Arsenal are tipped to finish fourth, which is probably an accurate prediction, while Derby, Sheffield United and Southampton, all of whom have just promoted, are tipped to get relegated. John Terry’s Hull will win the Championship, say critics.

    It’s Quarter Final time, everyone! Yay! First off, hosts the Netherlands eked out a 1-0 win against Germany, taking the lead in the first minute and keeping it for the other eighty-nine. Germany tried desperately to get back on level terms, but their hopes took a blow when they went one man down in the 76th minute, but to be honest, if they didn’t score in the 75 minutes, they weren’t going to score in the remaining fifteen. Next, two goals from Inter central midfielder Luca Mattioli helped Italy to an impressive 4-0 win over the Czech Republic, despite the Czechs having control of the game. Then, France continued their real-player-scoring tactic, with Terence Makengo and Henri Saivet netting at around the hour mark in their match against Croatia, helping France to a 2-1 win over their opponents.

    Finally, the match you’ve all been waiting for: Liam Ferguson’s England against Michael Laudrup’s Spain. Arsenal striker Craig Robson was marked horrendously throughout the match, and put England into the lead in the 19th minute, despite legitimate questions of a handball by Nathan Delfounseo. Nonetheless, England deserved their lead purely for the immense number of chances they were creating. Robson doubled the lead in the 39th minute, when Spain were caught napping, and he ran the length of the pitch, beat two backtracking Spanish defenders, and came up with a beautiful goal (it ended up finishing second in goal of the tournament). But it was England who were caught napping at the start of the second half, allowing Víctor Manuel Marañón to sneak in at the far post and head home for 1-2. But England continued to run rampant: 27-year-old Valencia centreback Richard Hobson scored his first goal for his country with a header from a corner just before the hour mark, and ten minutes later, Robson killed off the game, sidefooting the ball into the net for a 4-1 victory.

    That wasn’t actually the only international football this month: in North America, teams were contesting First Phase Second Round World Cup qualifying. Tim Aubel’s United States faced the Cayman Islands, and won 2-0 in George Town before a 4-0 victory in Raleigh, North Carolina. The biggest win of the round was for Guatemala, who beat Belize 9-0 on aggregate. The United States face Canada, Costa Rica, and Saint Vincent and the Grenadines in their Second Phase group stage. The top two teams from each group qualify for the Third Phase, where all six teams compete in a straight qualification group. Meanwhile, Robert Boyle’s England under 21s beat Saudi Arabia 3-0 in an U21 International. Saul Goode’s Wales beat Poland 3-2 in a Friendly.

    Despite two dismissals, France and Italy’s Semi-Final, a rematch of the World Cup Semi-Final which Italy won 3-2, wasn’t that interesting. Despite both being outplayed and going down to ten men after just seven minutes, Italy sneaked a 1-0 win thanks to Giacomo Di Giuseppe’s goal on the half hour. France’s Moussa Sissoko wasn’t red-carded until the 90+3rd minute. The other Semi-Final, between England and the Netherlands, was much more exciting. Continuing his scintillating form from the last match, Craig Robson put Liam Ferguson’s England in front after just one minute with a powerful header. Just seven minutes later, Chelsea’s Matt Hill unleashed a wicked volley that crept into the bottom corner and made it 2-0, meaning that by the time the Dutch scored, in the 18th minute, they were already up against it. They did equalise in the 33rd minute, but two minutes after that, Theo Walcott’s scooped goal gave England back the lead. Patrick van Aanholt’s second yellow card in the 72nd minute strengthened England’s position, and it was solidified further by Adam Pepper’s goal seven minutes from time, after the Man City forward was left in a neat little niche in the Dutch penalty area. 4-2 was the final score, and England were through to another European Championship Final.

    A quick word on Europe: England received an extra Europa League qualification place thanks to the Fair Play System, and it was filled by Raúl’s Fulham, who were drawn against Shakhtar Karagandy of Kazakhstan. The Cottagers won 4-0 at home with two goals from Welshman Aaron Ramsey, and tallied a double-figure aggregate with a 6-0 away win. Bosnia’s NK Celik Zenica await in the Second Qualifying Round.

    And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: the Euro 2024 Final. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a very interesting match. England definitely had the better of it, but dangerman Craig Robson was extremely well-marked by Italy defender Paolo Ruggiero, and nobody else was particularly clinical. The best chance came for Italy’s Marco Ruggeri in extra time, but he shot wide, and penalties were to be used. Lee Taylor scored for England, and Davide Anaclerio for Italy. Andy Stones scored for England, and Antonio Annunziata for Italy. Craig Robson scored for England, and Luca Mattioli…missed for Italy, sending the ball straight at England ‘keeper Gareth Hallam. Theo Walcott scored for England, and Paolo Ruggiero for Italy. Man City leftback Dean Dixon scored the winning spot kick for England.

    And now for the Euro 2024 aftermath. I’m not entirely sure why, but Liam Ferguson and England parted company, as did Roberto Mancini and Italy, and Michael Laudrup and Spain. All three posts are now vacant: could Lord Weeman, Lucas Volman and Haowan Madridstas fill the respective gaps? Croatia, Norway, Belgium and the Netherlands also sacked managers. Craig Robson won the Golden Boot, scoring six goals to Peter Pond’s and Theo Walcott’s five, and he was also voted Best Player. The Dream Team plus bench featured eight Englishmen, seven Italians, and two each of Germans, Dutchmen, Spaniards and Italians. A Craig Robson-Theo Walcott partnership is most notable, and is something Tom Smith, Arsenal manager, can be proud of.

    There were other managerial changes this month. Nottingham Forest manager Juan Señor retired, and was replaced by former Ipswich and Fiorentina boss Ben Taylor. Forest are tipped to finish 8th in this season’s Championship, but a playoff place is definitely achievable. Señor’s retirement wasn’t the only one: we say goodbye to former Bolton, Middlesbrough and Newcastle boss Arnold J. Rimmer, who resigned from his post at St James’ Park this month and bought a boat. Another former Ipswich manager was appointed here: Super Lampard, who rolls into his sixth job. Just one more and he will be tied with prolific journeyman dafuge, who remains unemployed following his sacking from Portsmouth last November. Mantova are said to be interested. Rimmer’s retirement means that exactly half of our original sixty managers remain in football. In other retirement news, Barcelona manager Haowan Madridstas has set a date for his, July 23rd 2025. That gives the other managers just over a year to all get sacked if Madridstas is to win 60 to One. Saul Goode will hang up his boots in June next year.

    It’s been an eventful month! It’s a shame that it’s over, but let’s look forward as we advance to season number seventeen.

    Manager of the Update

    There can be no argument that;

    Liam Ferguson
    , England (formerly of Man City)

    deserves this award. He guided the Three Lions to the European Championship title, and stepped down from the post in a blaze of glory. Congratulations Ferguson; if I remember, I’ll give you a montage of some sort in a future update. Haowan Madridstas was the best of our five managers, winning Barcelona’s last game of the season and planning the date he will retire in luxury (he does, after all, earn £175,000 per week). Tim Aubel got the United States a 6-0 aggregate win over the Cayman Islands.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5837
         - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5837
       3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Stable        5837
         - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5837
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5837
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  85. #1585
    Part-Timer
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    1st December 2008
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    1,373

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    beat the Cayman Islands! Although if I didn't, there would be huge issues.

  86. #1586
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    25th March 2007
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    Sorry for my pretty shoddy updating over the past few days!

    English Premier League
    Italian Serie A
    Spanish La Liga

    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
      Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
    All Star Top Ten – Games Lost at Current Club
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Lst Percent Chnge
       1st  0 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      200 (25.2%) -0.7% *
       2nd  0 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       158 (20.0%) -0.5% *
       3rd  0 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    154 (16.0%) +0.3% *
       4th  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  139 (14.9%) +1.1% *
       5th  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      134 (13.9%) +1.2% *
       6th  0 brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         Leeds        114 (31.0%) -0.2%
       7th  0 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus      96 (19.6%)  0.0%
       8th +1 Neilio          Neilio            Almería       Palermo       75 (30.4%) -3.4%
       9th +1 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter         59 (12.4%)  0.0%
      10th NE Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis         56 (25.7%)  n/a

  87. #1587
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    Writer's Notes: My computer has malfunctioned again, so my access to the internet will be more erratic. Fortunately, this time, I have everything backed up, so will be able to provide updates when I can get on a computer.

    Update 193

    Years: 16, Months: 193, Days: 5868

    Did you think last month was exciting? Because this month has just knocked it up a whole other notch! Before we even talk about transfers and matches, we need to talk about the managerial tangle.

    There were a whole host of managerial vacancies at the start of the month, and they were filled in the most exciting way. World Champions Spain appointed Benfica boss Quique Flores as their new manager, but that isn’t the exciting bit. News hit the papers that Palermo boss Neilio had resigned, and it emerged a couple of hours later that he had been appointed as the Italy Technical Commissioner by the FA. The fact that he has spent the last five years in Italy doesn’t detract from the fact that he is Italy’s first foreign manager since Helenio Herrera in the 1960s. The Netherlands appointed Khalid Boulahrouz, and Palermo appointed Bob Bradley. Genoa, whose manager Gian Piero Gasperini retired this month, chose outspoken manager dafuge as his replacement.

    And now we move over to the second chapter of the managerial saga. The England national team had a few vacancies to fill: under 19s, under 20s, and senior team managers. The first chosen was the under 20s manager, and an Englishman with a long history at a number of the country’s established clubs was chosen; former Charlton, Bolton, Everton, Hull and Portsmouth manager dafuge was given the role, four days before his appointment at Genoa. Next, the under 19s manager, and a manager who has spent a lot of time managing in Spain, and some in England, was chosen: Maz Armley. Finally, the headline appointment, and in an historical appointment, a woman was given the job. Former Wigan, West Ham and Leeds boss Brettney Joven ended her 2446-day spell at Elland Road to take the prestigious post. Maz Armley started his second new job of the month by taking the Leeds managerial hotseat.

    So what else happened in England this month, regarding, specifically, our manager Tom Smith? Arsenal made two big transfers this month, signing versatile defender and midfielder Joe Jenkins from Theo Stigarakis’s Leicester for £18.5M, but making this money up with the £22.5M sale of Trinidadian striker Wesley Oliver to Cool Manager’s Inter. Two other players of note left the club, both released: Moussa Sissoko, who joined Portsmouth, and goalkeeper Liam O’Brien, signed from Sheffield Wednesday in January for £650k, and who joined Martin Bojangles’s Manchester United. Arsenal played three friendly games this month, drawing at both Slavia Prague and Germinal Beerschot, and losing at Le Mans. They play both Napoli and Real Madrid next month.

    Lord Weeman
    has been particularly busy in the transfer market this month. Napoli spent £27.5M, bringing in Betis’ goalkeeper Salvatore Sirigu for £525k and Palermo’s versatile defender Nicola Giovanardi for £10.25M, and buying half of Mantova’s 20-year-old versatile Brazilian defender Sérgio for £16.5M. But Weeman did raise plenty of funds, too, selling Paraguayan right winger Julio Samaniego to Ben Cee’s Manchester City for £8.5M. 20-year-old right winger Fausto Piazza also made the move to the City of Manchester Stadium, earning Weeman’s club £10M, and Gaël Kakuta signed for Zaragoza for £15.25M. Napoli played one friendly match, beating Benevento 2-1. Next month, they travel to Inter for the Italian Super Cup, and they also start their season away to Cool Manager’s team. Well, at least it can’t get any more difficult.

    Tyler Burrows
    ’s Udinese were surprisingly quiet in the transfer market this month. Burrows made two sales: 31-year-old midfielder Valerio Nanni signed for Juventus for £1.1M, and 22-year-old goalkeeper Fabio Delfino joined Mantova for £250k. Only one player arrived at Friuli, that being A.S. Saint-Etienne’s 28-year-old attacking midfielder Sergio Preziosi, who cost £5M.

    Real Madrid manager Lucas Volman made a few transfers this month, but all were relatively small. Two goalkeepers joined the club: Italian Massimo Carannante from Mallorca for £1.9M, and Brazilian Elivélton from Santos for £8.75M. 26-year-old midfielder José Luis Jurado left for Valencia for £6M. Real Madrid won two friendlies 2-1 this month, at Beijing and Real Salt Lake. 300 miles away in Barcelona, Haowan Madridstas had a much more active transfer window. He signed Valencia’s 27-year-old Hungarian ‘keeper Gábor Németh for £4.7M, Recreativo’s midfielder Antonio Rivero for £6.5M, Atlético Minero’s talented 18-year-old forward Maycon for £10.25M, and Liverpool’s 32-year-old centreback Diego González for £12.5M. Of the five players released from the club this month, Dalton and Benedikt Höwedes are the most notable. Barça played one friendly this month, beating Okayama FC 3-0 in Japan. La Liga pundits predict that Valencia will return to the top of the pile, followed by Atlético Madrid and then Zaragoza. The papers say that Real Madrid will beat Barcelona to fourth place.

    Let’s end by looking at our managers’ participation in European football this month. In the Europa League, Lars Tommersen’s Betis won the first leg of their Third Qualifying Round 3-1 at home to Finn Harps, while Ben Cee’s Man City won 3-0 at Sligo Rovers. Mantova and Fulham won 4-0, at home to Llaneli and at Lokomotivi Tbilisi respectively, and Phill Ewles’s Besiktas won 3-0 at AaB, after having beaten Austria Kärnten 4-2 on aggregate in the Second Qualifying Round. Besiktas also took place in a Friendly Cup this month. They beat Standard Liège 1-0 in the Semi-Final, and lost the Final on penalties after drawing 2-2 with Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea. Celtic finished third after beating hosts Standard 4-1 in the playoff. In the Champions League, Scott Tysoe’s Rangers drew 1-1 at Dinamo Moscow, and so look set to advance to the Best Placed Third Qualifying Round.

    Right, folks, that’s all for this month. Goodbye!

    Manager of the Update
    So many managers did so many things this month.

    Brettney Joven
    became the first woman to manage a national football team, while Maz Armley got two new jobs, as did dafuge. Neilio became Italy’s first foreign manager for almost sixty years, while both Tom Smith and Lord Weeman impressed me with their moves in the transfer window. And Bryan McGuinness won a friendly cup! But which of these achievements carries the most weight? After much consideration, I’m going to give this award to;

    Neilio
    , Italy (formerly of Almería)

    and;

    Brettney Joven
    , England (formerly of Wigan)

    for being historical appointments to senior national team roles. Both Italy and England featured in the Euro 2024 Final, and they are the world’s top two football nations. It would be a remarkable achievement for any of our managers to land these jobs, but it is even more remarkable that a foreigner got the Italy job and a woman got the England job.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5868
       2nd Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Secure        5868
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Secure        5868
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5868
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5868
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800
    Last edited by canvey!!; 15-02-2011 at 15:19.

  88. #1588
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    13th September 2008
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    the £22.5M sale of Trinidadian striker Wesley Oliver to Cool Manager’s Inter for £22.5M
    Just keeping you honest ^_^

    Another good read as always though

  89. #1589
    Third Team
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    30th March 2007
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    Oh, I didn't realise I was at Man City now.

    Show me the money!

  90. #1590
    World Cup Winner
    Join Date
    20th May 2003
    Posts
    56,400

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    Two jobs in one week

  91. #1591
    Third Team
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    25th March 2007
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    Nottingham, United Kingdom
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    7,309

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    Thanks Biscotti, although I have to say BenArsenal's post helped more - he made me search for Ben Cee and I found that I had at one point said that he was still Inter manager :).

    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
      Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
             Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
    All Star Top Ten – Goals Scored at Current Club
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Goals (Pr/G) Chnge
       1st  0 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona     2350 (2.44)  0.00 *
       2nd  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal       2107 (2.19) -0.06 *
       3rd  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid   1866 (2.00) +0.04 *
       4th  0 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli        1460 (1.85)  0.00 *
       5th  0 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese       1340 (1.69) -0.02 *
       6th  0 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter          994 (2.08) -0.01
       7th +1 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus       863 (1.76) -0.02
       8th +2 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea        508 (2.11) -0.16
       9th NE Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis          420 (1.92)  n/a
      10th NE SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Roma           408 (1.92)  n/a
    Lifespan – 5 to 10 Years
    Code:
       Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days
       7th TaylorB              Ben Taylor          Fiorentina 3442
       8th fergysafc            Liam Ferguson       Man City   2783
       9th JSalter              James Salter        Reggina    2710
      10th mikeytwigge          Mikey Twigge        Palermo    2507
      11th BenArsenal           Ben Cee             Inter      2502
      12th super_lampard        Super Lampard       Lecce      2119
      13th Cardiovascular       Cardio Vascular     Genoa      2010
      14th Lower Leagues Rule   Jonte Rhodes        Lazio      1968
    Lifespan – 2 to 5 Years
    Code:
       Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days
      15th hasdgfas             Tim Aubel           Fulham     1705
      16th ~Ian~                Bryan McGuinness    Everton    1701
      17th rancer890            Ricky Nakano        Middlesbro 1614
      18th ssestig              Theo Stigarakis     Catania    1405
      19th bermybhoy            bermybhoy           Atalanta   1320
         - IlikeJellybeans      Jellybean Man       Numancia   1320
      21st m1234566778          Maz Armley          Racing     1288
      22nd el sid               Cool Manager        At. Madrid 1263
      23rd spartans5            Lawrence Lazewski   Valencia   1259
      24th Greasy Chip Butty    Andy Morton         Sporting   1244
      25th Martin_              Martin Bojangles    Hull       1241
      26th clrkaitken           Clark Aitken        Roma       1237
      27th Waghlon              Lars Tommersen      Villarreal 1230
      28th Walcott’s Wonderkids Brucie Bonus        West Brom  1210
      29th Almondo              Arnold J. Rimmer    Bolton     1208
      30th Neji                 Neji Hyuuga         Deportivo   999
      31st Jack Rudd            Lisa Jeffries       Juventus    925
      32nd pnefc22              Wobill Luman        Betis       889
      33rd AtilasMiserly        Will de Mote        A.C. Milan  882
      34th JoeLatics            Joe Gleeson         Espanyol    873
         - Blanco               Cristobal Blanco    Recreativo  873
      36th ian_1982             Maurice Jobson      Man United  852
      37th Ridleys              James Ridley        Siena       843
    Lifespan – 1 to 2 Years
    Code:
       Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days
      38th conners              Sirus Lannock       Málaga     628
      39th MikaelS              Mikael Schøler      Bologna    613
      40th Swafe                Saul Goode          Osasuna    551
      41st hamilton162          Tom Hamilton        Mallorca   509
      42nd kashmirshazad        Shazad Ali          Newcastle  508
      43rd DiscoStu94           Da Hoover Man       Sampdoria  501
         - ScottT!              Scott Tysoe         Sunderland 501
      45th canvey!!             Fréderico Canvey    Stoke      476
    Lifespan – Less than 1 Year
    Code:
       Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days
      46th corinthiano          Mathias Brunckhorst Chievo     327
         - Neilio               Neilio              Almería    327
      48th Robert_296           Robert Boyle        Blackburn  326
      49th brettney1980         Brettney Joven      Wigan      320
      50th TigerJoe             Joe Seddon          Getafe     271
      51st jack.browne          Jack Browne         Sevilla    250
      52nd NepentheZ            Neppo Monster       Cagliari   236
         - dafuge               dafuge              Torino     236
      54th KiddingChoc          Zach Machios        Portsmouth 235
         - Whoopy D             Whoopy D            West Ham   235
      56th d-machine            David Machine       Athletic   229
      57th PaulHartman71        Jeremy English      Liverpool  204
      58th Chimpos              Phill Ewles         Valladolid
         - tadr                 Andre da Conceiçao  Chelsea
         - markcator3006        Mark Cator          Aston Villa

  92. #1592
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    Always happy to help.

  93. #1593
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    Update 194
    Years: 16, Months: 194, Days: 5899


    Season seventeen is under way, so let’s see how our managers started it.

    Arsenal manager Tom Smith has guided his team to an indifferent start, as they won one and drew two of their first three games. The Gunners won 1-0 at Hillsborough, but drew goalless at St Mary’s Stadium and were held 1-1 at home by Sunderland. They also suffered a 1-3 defeat at Dinamo Kiev in their Champions League Best Placed Third Qualifying Round, but turned the tie around with a 7-0 home win in the second leg, with Víctor Manuel Marañon scoring a hattrick and Craig Robson bagging a brace. That brings me to;

    The Craig Robson-o-meter

    Goals this Month: 2

    Total Goals: 56

    Cost per Goal: £857,142.86

    Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea lead the Premier League after a 100% winning start, while Sheffield United and Fulham have yet to pick up any points, but both have only played two games. Super Lampard’s Newcastle and Maz Armley’s Leeds, like Chelsea, made 100% winning starts, and are 3rd and 4th respectively, both with six points. Liverpool beat Chelsea 1-0 at Wembley to claim the Community Shield, and an English side also won the UEFA Super Cup, with Jürgen Klinsmann’s Tottenham Hotspur beating his former club Bayern Munich 2-1 in Monaco. In the Carling Cup Third Round draw, Arsenal face Steve Tilson’s Middlesbrough, while Chelsea host Ben Cee’s Man City.

    Our two managers in Spain made some small motions in the transfer market this month. At Barcelona, Haowan Madridstas signed 16-year-old Racing goalkeeper Eneko Gutiérrez for £1.2M, and sold 22-year-old centreback Jaime Gómez Sánchez to Cádiz for £800k. At Real Madrid, Lucas Volman bought Getafe’s 23-year-old rightback José Luis for £5.25M. Real also played in the Champions League playoff, beating FC Twente 4-1 on aggregate. Other playoff results saw Porto beat Schalke 04 on away goals, with Scott Tysoe’s Rangers also benefiting from that rule against Stade Rennais. A.C. Milan beat Olympiakos 5-4 on aggregate. Red Star Belgrade, FC København, Steaua Bucharest, MSK Zilina and FC Zürich progressed via the Champions route. Zaragoza won the Spanish Super Cup with a 2-0 aggregate victory over Atlético Madrid.

    Let’s hop over to Italy, where three of our former managers have been in action. Fréderico Canvey’s Sampdoria weathered the storm and beat Leo Dodge’s Roma 2-1, with two goals from 29-year-old striker Massimiliano Castiglia, recently signed on a free. Braces for Macedonian midfielder Dragan Markovski and for French striker Mathias Charbonnel helped James Ridley’s Lazio to a 4-2 win over Modena. Cool Manager’s Inter won the Italian Super Cup with a 2-1 win over Napoli, and also made a significant investment this month, with the £40M purchase of Mantova’s versatile centreback and midfielder Carmine Bernini, 25. I’m not sure what values him at forty million, but I’m sure Manager saw some promise. Some of the money was reclaimed with the £15.75M sale of attacking midfielder Christian Ricci to Atlético Madrid. Lord Weeman made two transfers, signing Marseille’s defender Andrea De Gennaro for £10.25M, and selling 30-year-old centreback Marco Visconti to Tyler Burrows’s Udinese for £3.8M. Udinese also signed Zaragoza’s Montenegrin ‘keeper Dusan Nedeljkovic for £1.6M, Mantova’s Russian leftback Roman Panchenko for £3.6M, and Villarreal’s attacking midfielder Tommaso Cesarano for £4.7M. They played in the Coppa Italia Third Qualifying Round, beating Pisa 4-1. Empoli await in the Fourth Qualifying Round.

    One international game to mention this month: Tim Aubel’s United States played Canada in Kansas City, and won 2-0 with goals from 28-year-old striker Boyd Rose and from experienced winger Brek Shea, who starred in his 100th appearance. Captain Freddy Adu picked up his 150th cap, and Málaga fullback Matthew Hudson played in his 125th game. It is Aubel’s fourteenth game in charge, after he assumed control of his national team two years ago.

    I’ll conclude this report with the Champions League group stage draw. We have four teams in this year’s Champions League, and two got easy groups, with two getting more difficult ones. Tom Smith’s Arsenal should find little difficult against Feyenoord or FC Nantes, or even Porto, and Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona shouldn’t be hindered by FC Zürich, Werder Bremen, or even Benfica. Lord Weeman’s Napoli, on the other hand, face Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea in the group stages for the second consecutive year, and will also meet Shakhtar Donetsk and Bayer Leverkusen, while Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid have both A.C. Milan and Super Lampard’s Newcastle in their group, alongside Zenit Saint Petersburg. Mikael Schøler’s Juventus and Scott Tysoe’s Rangers have been drawn in the same group, alongside MSK Zilina and La Liga winners Zaragoza. It’s not often that you get two sides in one group beginning with ‘z’.

    Right, that’s it. Run along now!

    Manager of the Update

    This month’s winner is;

    Lucas Volman
    , Real Madrid

    quite simply for doing the best. Volman won both of his games, against FC Twente, while Tom Smith could only win two from five, and Tyler Burrows won just one match (albeit from just one), although the Udinese manager signalled some ambition with a £13.7M transfer spend this month.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5899
       2nd Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Secure        5899
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Secure        5899
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5899
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5899
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

  94. #1594
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    Italian Super Cup winners

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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
      Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
             Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
      Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
    All Star Top Ten – Goals Conceded at Current Club
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Gls (Pr/G) Chnge
       1st  0 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    880 (0.91) +0.04 *
       2nd  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      836 (0.86)  0.00 *
       3rd  0 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      736 (0.93)  0.00 *
       4th +1 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  693 (0.74) +0.04 *
       5th -1 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       688 (0.87) -0.01 *
       6th  0 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     415 (0.85) -0.01
       7th +1 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        339 (0.71) -0.01
       8th NE Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis        249 (1.12)  n/a
       9th NE SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Roma         200 (0.93)  n/a
      10th NE ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      176 (0.72)  n/a

  96. #1596
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    Update 195
    Years: 16, Months: 195, Days: 5929


    There have been some very good performances by some of our managers this month. You’ll have to wait to see which managers they were, but we’ll start our report in Italy.

    Tyler Burrows
    ’s Udinese made an indifferent start to their league campaign, one which sees them one place below their pre-season predicted position of seventh. They beat newly-promoted Livorno and Atalanta, drew at James Ridley’s Lazio, and lost to both Mantova and Rimini. They reached the Coppa Italia First Round with a 2-1 win over Empoli, although they needed extra time. They have a difficult First Round task, a match away to holders Inter, while Napoli host Livorno. Lord Weeman’s side are one of the teams to have put in that very good performance this month: they started with a spectacular win at Inter, before beating Palermo, Parma, Vicenza and Mantova. They also won their Champions League group stage match, 4-1 in Germany against Bayer Leverkusen. Udinese made their last transfer of the window this month, signing Rimini’s winger and striker Egidio Pani for £1.4M.

    In England, it has been a poor month for Tom Smith’s Arsenal. The Gunners started the month hosting Martin Bojangles’s Manchester United, and lost 2-3. They then beat Theo Stigarakis’s Leicester 3-0 at the Emirates, but ended the month with a 0-1 loss at Craven Cottage, with former Arsenal man Aaron Ramsey netting the goal. They left the Carling Cup after a 3-4 extra time defeat at home to Middlesbrough in just the Third Round, and drew their Champions League group game 2-2 at home to Porto. Arsenal are 11th in the league. Hopefully things will improve for them.

    September, of course, sees an international break. European teams were playing qualifying games, and Brettney Joven’s England were held 2-2 at home by Scotland, with 27-year-old Newcastle striker Jamie Mitchell bagging a brace for the Scots. Saul Goode’s Wales pulled off a 1-0 home win over Romania, while Neilio got off to a solid start in charge of Italy, with a 3-0 home win over Armenia. In North American World Cup qualifying, Tim Aubel’s United States drew 1-1 away to Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, before beating Costa Rica 2-0 at home. The Americans top their group. So Joven drew her game, but what of the rest of the Dream Team? Robert Boyle’s England under 21s beat Bulgaria 5-0 at home, and so topped their European Championship qualifying group. This means they enter a playoff, where they will meet Denmark. dafuge's under 20 team beat Scotland 3-0 in an U20 International, while Maz Armley’s under 19s beat the Scots 2-0 in their U19 International.

    Time to finish in Spain, then. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid top La Liga, being the other side to have put in a tremendous performance for the month. They got 1-0 wins over Elche and Betis, 4-0 wins over Mallorca and Murcia, and a 5-2 win over Las Palmas. Unfortunately, they drew their Champions League group stage match, although it was the most difficult of the group, away to A.C. Milan. Real hold a two-point lead over rivals Atlético at the top. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona aren’t doing too badly either: they won four of their games, against Elche, Recreativo, Deportivo and Getafe, but lost at James Salter’s Murcia. Barça won their Champions League game with confidence, beating Porto 4-0.

    Right, the report’s finished now. Bye!

    Manager of the Update

    As you know, there were two very good performances this month.

    Lord Weeman
    , Napoli

    wins this award, but that shouldn’t take anything away from the efforts of Lucas Volman. It was tight, but the fact that Napoli won a game away to Inter Milan, and won their Champions League match, swung it for them.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5929
       2nd Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Secure        5929
         - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Secure        5929
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5929
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5929
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
      Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
             Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
      Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
    All Star Top Ten – Highest Goal Difference at Current Club
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club GlDif
       1st  0 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    +1481 *
       2nd  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      +1281 *
       3rd  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  +1190 *
       4th  0 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       + 785 *
       5th +1 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        + 660
       6th -1 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      + 612 *
       7th +1 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     + 452
       8th +1 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      + 341
       9th NE SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Roma         + 210
      10th NE Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis        + 191

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    Not the best start to the season, but we have made some positive inroads during the transfer market. I am beginning to not even want anythging other than 6th place every single season, because if I finally did something useful, the board expectations would be raised for the first time in 16 years and I would probably be sacked. Boring seasons finishing between 5th and 7th are suting me just fine

    If it isn't to much to ask Canvey, I would be interested to look at my position on the league table for each of the last 16 seasons, if that is possible, to see if I have ever not finished between about 4th and 7th, because it feels like I have never moved!

  99. #1599
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    @Pluck: 2nd in 2010/11, 9th in this season just gone. If you ask me again in two weeks' time, I will be able to get you a past positions screenshot.
    Writer's Notes: I'm insanely busy these next two weeks, so I will provide updates if and when I can. Apologies - I will try to reward you with double updates when I do get the opportunity to post.

    Update 196

    Years: 16, Months: 196, Days: 5960


    Four is the number of interest in this report: in four years’ time, less four months, our managers, if they are still employed, will have hit the twenty-year milestone. In four months’ time, they will have been at their clubs for two hundred months. In forty days’ time, they will pass the 6000 day barrier. So with that in mind, let us review October performances, and pay an uncanny attention to the number four.

    Sunny Spain is the place to start, and of course four is the record for most consecutive Copa del Rey wins, achieved by Real Madrid in 1905 – 1908, and by Athletic in 1930 – 1933. Athletic currently sit mid-table in La Liga, while Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid lead the way. In October, Real beat Recreativo and Deportivo, and drew at Getafe. They also beat Catalonian side Talavera 3-0 away in the first leg of their Copa del Rey tie, the round being, naturally, Round Four. That’s four domestic games played by Real this month, by the way. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona also played four domestic games, and acquired four points. They won 2-0 at Athletic, before a 2-3 home loss to Racing, and a four-goal draw at Sevilla. Their Copa del Rey Fourth Round tie saw them win 5-0 at Pájara Playas.

    In England, it has been another poor month for Tom Smith’s Arsenal, and pretty soon the pressure will begin to mount on the Portuguese manager. The Gunners played three games this month, losing at home to Liverpool, and then away to Middlesbrough, and then drawing goalless at home to Robert Boyle’s Portsmouth. So that’s one point from nine, and Arsenal have matches next month against both Tottenham and Man City. If they don’t do something soon to address this slump, Smith might find himself out the door.

    Of course, we have four managers in charge of senior national teams, so let’s check on how they did in the October international break. Brettney Joven’s England continued their poor start to World Cup qualifying with a second consecutive draw, in Dublin. This puts them fourth in their group, ahead only of Kazakhstan. Saul Goode’s Wales played two games, and won both, against Belgium and Azerbaijan. They lead their group, joint with Portugal. Neilio’s Italy also played two games, but were held goalless in Malta before a 3-1 home win over Greece, thanks to a hattrick from Valencia forward Juri Rigamonti. Tim Aubel’s United States won 2-0 in Canada before a 1-1 home draw against St Vincent & the Grenadines. They have, however, qualified for the next round, along with Costa Rica, Mexico, Cuba, and Guatemala. Panama, Trinidad & Tobago or Honduras will also qualify. Robert Boyle’s England under 21s secured qualification for the European Under 21 Championships, beating Denmark 2-0 at Carrow Road and drawing goalless away in their playoff tie. The tournament takes place next June.

    Lord Weeman
    ’s Napoli are continuing their steaming start to the Serie A season, while Cool Manager’s Inter are still in the process of picking up the pieces of their poor start. I’ve been quite unintentionally alliterative in this paragraph so far, but that’s enough of that: guess how many games Napoli played in October? That’s right, four. Although they beat Livorno, Lazio and Rimini, they lost excrutiatingly 0-1 to newly-promoted ten-man Atalanta at home, after the visitors mustered one shot in response to Napoli’s 31. Still, Napoli have a three-point lead over second-placed A.C. Milan. Meanwhile, guess what position Tyler Burrows’s Udinese are in? That’s correct, fourth. They beat Frosinone, Modena and dafuge’s Genoa in home games this month, but lost at A.C. Milan.

    We have, naturally, four clubs in European competition, all of which are in the Champions League. So how did they do in their two games this month? Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid beat Zenit Saint Petersburg 3-0 at home before a 1-1 draw at Super Lampard’s Newcastle. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona also picked up four points, drawing goalless at FC Zürich before a 2-0 home win over Werder Bremen. Lord Weeman's Napoli hosted Shakhtar Donetsk, beating the Ukrainians 2-0, before travelling to Chelsea Stadium, where they lost 0-3 to Bryan McGuinness’s side. Finally, Tom Smith’s Arsenal scored four goals and picked up four points in their two away games, beating FC Nantes 3-1 and drawing 1-1 with Feyenoord, in a return to De Kuip for Craig Robson and Theo Walcott, who both scored there in England’s 4-2 Euro 2024 win over the Netherlands. Neither scored against Feyenoord, however.

    Join me next time when I attempt to leap two double-decker buses on a penny farthing.

    Manager of the Update

    Four cheers for this month’s winner, who is;

    Lucas Volman
    , Real Madrid

    after he guided his team to four wins and two draws, which maintains their position at the head of La Liga. Real picked up seven points from nine in the league this month, while winning two and drawing one cup game.

    Job Securities
    Code:
      Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
       1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   5960
         - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5960
       3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Secure        5960
       4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5960
         - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5960
       6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

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    Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
    Code:
      Update Winner, Club                
      Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
      Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
      Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
      Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
      Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
      Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
      May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
      Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
      Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
             Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
      Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
      Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
      Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
    All Star Top Ten – Lowest Goal Difference at Current Club
    Code:
       Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club GlDif
       1st +1 Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Besiktas       -26
       2nd +1 JSalter         James Salter      Reggina       Murcia         -12
       3rd NE Ridleys         James Ridley      Siena         Lazio          - 4
       4th -3 Robert_296      Robert Boyle      Blackburn     Pompey/ENG u21 – 3
       5th NE canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Sampdoria        0
       6th NE ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Leicester      + 1
       7th -3 dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Genoa/ENG u20  + 2
       8th NE m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Leeds/ENG u19  + 5
       9th NE super_lampard   Super Lampard     Lecce         Newcastle      + 7
      10th NE TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Nottm Forest   +11

Closed Thread
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