60 to One

[Greasy Chip Butty]

I'm sorry Jellybean Man but Sporting are going to end your hopes of survival and plunge you towards the sack!

[PluckaDuck]

How the hell did Bolton win a trophy?

[Almondo]

I think you'll find we won the Coca Cola Championship

[canvey!!]

League Tables follow in the list of past Managers of the Update.

Update 35
Years: 2, Months: 35, Days: 1058

After having just reached the 1000 days milestone, the managers are soon to hit the 3-year milestone of management. Depsite there now being four Very Insecure managers, an eighth of our current crop, it is plausible that all 32 make it to that particular milestone. A month of action failed to see anyone sacked, but it does make for an interesting read, I hope you’ll find.

With Arsenal having already won the Premier League, and West Brom having already been relegated, there was actually no more of interest to us in the Premier League, which simply played out to its inevitable conclusion. Unlike the Baggies, who were relegated last month, it took until the last day of the season to see both Sheffield Wednesday and Bristol City go down. They were up against it though, facing Arsenal and Chelsea at home. Of course, neither of them won, sparing the blushes of Newcastle and Scott Tysoe’s West Ham, who could have gone down in their place. Arsenal finished the season with a fairly good 88 points, reflecting their poorer start (they were 19th after one game) and the general inability of the Big Four to challenge early on. Wigan won the Championship, and go up with Cardiff and playoff-winners Stoke.

Spanish fans enjoyed a very prosperous month, starting with the Spanish Cup on the 11th May.

Road to the Final – Copa del Rey
Lawrence Lazewski’s Valencia started out their cup campaign with a trip to lowly Eibar, and quite a long trip at that. Fortunately, they were rewarded for their efforts with a 1-0 win to take back to Valencia. The home leg was more prosperous, with three unanswered goals sealing their passage into the 5th Round, where a tie against Real Sociedad awaited. Socieded, eventually getting promoted from LIGA adelante, were a tough tie, and sure enough, the away leg saw both sides deadlocked, 1-1. Valencia’s home advantage then saw them progress 3-1 on aggregate. Tenerife were their next opponents, and were dispatched with ease, a 3-0 home victory being bettered by a 4-0 away victory. Then the tough ties started, with one against Villarreal. However, this was already the Semi Final and Valencia proved they had the nerve and tenacity to go on, stunning their opponents with a 3-2 away victory. They couldn’t consolidate this in the return leg, but a 0-1 loss saw them through on away goals.

Real Madrid, under the management of Lucas Volman, faced Girona in the 4th Leg of the Copa del Rey. Surprisingly, they struggled to a 0-0 draw away, but showed their dominance in tallying a 3-0 home victory. This aggregate score was repeated with the tie against Numancia, a 2-0 away victory followed up by a solitary goal at home. However, the tie against Zaragoza, who had started the season sitting pretty at the top of La Liga, saw this aggregate score doubled, a whopping 6-0 score split evenly over two legs. This brought the team to the Semi Finals, where Barcelona awaited. Despite Barcelona being in the better form, the tie at the Nou Camp was goalless. Two Madrid goals in the return leg saw Volman’s side into the final.

Close to 100,000 fans packed the Nou Camp for this electric showdown. The first half passed without a goal, but the atmosphere continued to buzz…someone had to break. It was Lucas Volman’s team first, as Manuel Fernandes fired the ball home for a Valencia lead in the 53rd minute. Only six minutes later, Lawrence Lazewski and his team were smiling again with David Silva doubling the lead. However, after a further two minutes, those smiles became frowns: a second yellow card for Christian Chivu saw Valencia down to 10 men. Now seemed the perfect moment for Real Madrid to strike, and strike they did, Edgar Barreto slotting home in the 70th minute. With the difference halved, Madrid pushed forward and after just another 5 minutes, Klaas Jan-Huntelaar levelled the tie to screams and shouts from the ebullient crowd. Shockingly, another pair of yellow cards saw Valencia down to nine men after 86 minutes. However, somehow they held their nerve through the remaining 5 or 6 minutes of normal play and the following 30 minutes of extra time. Penalties it would be, but goalscoring hero Klaas Jan-Huntelaar became goalmissing villain as he missed Real Madrid’s first spot-kick. Valencia’s conversion through David Villa put the pressure on. Raúl scored, as did David Silva, but Marcelo missed for Real Madrid. Blaise Matuidi made it 3-1 and all it took was one more penalty scored, by Joaquín, for Valencia to claim the Copa del Rey!

The Italian Cup took place on the same day, where A.C. Milan defeated Sampdoria 2-1. Just a few days later, Ben Cee’s Inter confirmed their grip on the Serie A title with a 1-0 win over bermybhoy’s Atalanta, who ended up 8th, missing out on European football. Down south, Rimini, Cagliari and Chievo went down, saving Super Lampard’s Lecce, whose three draws this month were adequate for survival. James Salter’s Reggina also stayed up. Next season, the 17 clubs will be joined by Serie B winners Empoli, as well as Frosinone and one of Bologna, Livorno, Ascoli or Vincenza.

After the exciting Copa del Rey final, Spanish fans turned their attention to the Europa League where Real Madrid were competing once again, this time against Tyler Burrows’s Udinese.

Road to the Final – Europa League
Tyler Burrows’s Udinese started in the 3rd Qualifying Round of the Europa League, and ended up playing 19 games in the competition. Despite this, they still maintained good league form to end up finishing second. A trip to Iceland against FH was their obscure tie in said 3rd Qualifying Round, and Udinese tried to make the point that they had entered the competition too soon by demolishing their Scandinavian counterparts 4-0, a result which they repeated back in Italy. A third consecutive 4-0 followed in Bosnia and Herzegovina, against Modrica Maxima, and what do you know, the return leg saw Udinese win 4-0. With two 8-0 qualifying wins out of the way, Udinese joined Aris Thessalonika, Porto and FC København in the Group Stage. Porto understandably won the group, but Udinese beat them on one occasion, losing away to the Portuguese team. However, Aris were beaten both home and away, and the team drew both home and away to the Danes, giving Udinese 11 points, plenty to go through in second place.

Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid started out in the Champions League, where Benfica were the surprise team in their group who walked the group without a loss. Just one point behind them came Liam Ferguson’s Man City, and Real Madrid, having beaten Rangers twice but accumulated just one point elsewhere, would have to settle for 3rd place and the Europa League. Their First Knockout Round tie saw them facing Zenit St. Petersburg, who they beat meekly but neatly, a 2-1 home victory followed by a 1-1 away draw to send them through 3-2 on aggregate. They were handed their Quarter Final ticket after thrashing Braga 3-0 in Portugal. They then won 4-1 in the return leg to set up a tie against Porto.

Udinese, meanwhile, would play Portsmouth in the Quarter Final, but that is after having beaten Shakhtar Donetsk narrowly, 2-1 on aggregate thanks to a 1-0 home win, and Villarreal by what was also a small margin. Their trip to Spain resulted in them losing 1-2, but the 2-0 home victory beforehand secured their trip to England. They lost 0-1 at Fratton Park, but a 2-0 home victory got them through. They would have to use all this grit and determination again in the Semi Final against Manchester United, after a 0-1 loss in Italy. ‘Oh well, at least we weren’t disgraced.’ Actually, through sheer willpower and with the help of a cunning Antonio Di Natale’s brace of goals at Old Trafford, the Italians made it to the Europa League final.

As expected, the away trip to Portugal was tough, and Real Madrid escaped it with a 2-2 draw. This was handy, as they demolished their Iberian neighbours 3-0 at home, with Porto having little say in the matter. Fenerbahçe, Real’s next opponents, fared even worse, with the Spanish Giants triumphing 2-0 in Turkey leaving the Turks almost certain to go out. Go out they did, and Real Madrid made the final, with a 2-1 victory being the match that sent them there, or secured that passage at least.

Dublin was enlivened, and a little surprised as well, by the march of 50,000 Spanish and Italian fans to the Irish capital. The new Aviva Stadium was to be the host of the game, a game which Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid quickly took control of. That’s not to say that Udinese didn’t have their chances, but there was a potency in the Madrid attack that made them look that much sharper than Tyler Burrows’s team. It took 33 minutes for a score to develop, with Raúl hitting the back of the net to put the Spaniards in front. The rest of the match was a fairly fiery affair, but there was no rampant demolition from Madrid, who could only double their lead in the 71st minute, again through Raúl. That was it for the game, and Real Madrid made up for missing out on the Copa del Rey by winning the Europa League.

Just three days later Spanish football fans had to go through it all again, as Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona met Andre da Conceiçao’s Chelsea in the Champions League final.

Road to the Final – Champions League
Andre da Conceiçao’s Chelsea found themselves in Group B of the Champions League, an easy group, with CSKA Moscow, PSV Eindhoven and Rosenborg being their groupmates. Although they lost in the Netherlands, the Londoners still walked the group, going through first ahead of Eindhoven due to a better goal difference, with both teams having 15 points. Chelsea’s reward for this? A.C. Milan in the Round of 16, who won their home leg 1-0. However, a resilient showing back at Stamford Bridge saw a 3-1 win, and progression to face Benfica. Benfica, as we know, were a surprise concotion who fought their way this far, and they wouldn’t go down without a fight against Chelsea, either. da Conceiçao could only win 1-0 in England, and lost 1-2 in Portugal. Fortunately for the manager, who had to knock out one of his native country’s teams here, the away goals rule sent his team into the Last Four.

Barcelona might have had a slightly tougher group, with Anderlecht and Schalke not offering great competition but arguably being better than those Chelsea had to beat. Maccabi Tel-Aviv completed the group, and although Haowan Madridstas’s team walked it with 18 points, their scorelines were all very close, and not once did they exceed two goals scored in a match. That didn’t change the further they got into the competition, either. An away trip to Juventus resulted in a 0-0 draw, and the Spaniards only progressed thanks to a hard-fought 2-1 home victory. They faced Inter in the Quarter Finals, and drew away again 1-1. A 1-0 victory saw them through in a tie that sounds boring, but was overflowing with tension. There was some respite, then, in the form of Bayern Munich, but the Germans still held Barcelona at home. But the victory in Spain was stronger, leading to a 2-0 aggregate progression to the final, to meet Chelsea who had faced Liverpool in the Last Four. They won 1-0 at Anfield, and struck a nerve with Liverpool fans by thrashing the Reds 3-1 at home for a safe passage to the final.

It was a relief for Chelsea fans that the final would take place just about 10 miles away at Wembley stadium. Not a seat was empty, at kick-off at least, for some might have left early in mock disgust of their team’s performance. Despite Chelsea’s home advantage, rather significant despite the number of fans being equal, Haowan Madridstas’s team took control of the game, carving out the better chances while Andre da Conceiçao’s Blues seemed poor in attack. It took just 24 minutes for the first goal, Xavi’s, to put Barcelona ahead, and that was all it needed, for the tie ran out of steam and neither side was either to score a second goal to liven it up. Despondent Chelsea fans streamed out of Wembley afterwards, sore to the ecstatic cheers of the Spanish visitors.

However, there was no rest for Barcelona fans. Their team had not yet secured the La Liga title, and the other three teams had formed a bit of an uprising, looking keen to snatch it off them. Earlier in the month, Valencia had beaten the team 1-0 and they had to fight off a snarling and growling Villarreal resistance to beat Lars Tommersen’s team 3-2. A home win against Zaragoza, a 3-1 victory, was not enough to seal the title, which went down in suitably dramatic fashion to the final game. By this time, Real Madrid had re-manifested themselves in 2nd place, and were the sole surviving fighter to claim that title. Both were away: now Zaragoza would have a second chance to affect the trophy’s destination, as they welcomed Real Madrid, while Barcelona went to Getafe hoping to protect their 3-point lead at the top. They did, as both teams won, and Barcelona took a Champions League and La Liga double. It was not so peachy at the bottom, though, where Jellybean Man’s Numancia joined Celta and Almería in being relegated. This month, they picked up six points, but could not catch up Tenerife, let alone Almería (the islanders, by the way, escaped by the skin of their teeth). Betis and Real Sociedad join from the league below, with Murcia or Gimnàstic too (more likely Murcia).

After the excitement of the Europa League final, Wembley Stadium would host another final just 10 days later. Looking to do the double were Tom Smith’s Arsenal, but looking to stop them were Rafa Benítez’s Liverpool.

Road to the Final – FA Cup
An away trip to Macclesfield welcomed Tom Smith’s Arsenal in the FA Cup 3rd Round. The Gunners won in style, putting four goals past an impotent Macclesfield. Another away tie was theirs in the Fourth Round, a potential banana skin at Villa Park. Fortunately for Arsenal, Liédson and Eduardo goals salvaged a 2-2 draw, so that Aston Villa could be truly thrashed at the Emirates. Except…they couldn’t be thrashed at the Emirates, and that ended up 3-3, with penalties being needed for the London side to make the Fifth Round, where they welcomed Portsmout with open arms and four goals ready for scoring. Their 4-1 victory was almost matched in the 6th Round at home to José Mourinho’s lacklustre Man United, who were beaten 3-1. But then came a local derby to be played at Wembley, where Arsenal once again excelled to stuff Chelsea 3-0.

Rafa Benítez’s Liverpool did not require any replays to make it to the final, and their success started in the 3rd Round when they won 2-1 away to Birmingham. This scoreline was mirrored at home to Ipswich. Hardly electrifying stuff, I’m sure you’ll agree, so a 4-0 thrashing of Burnley, who ended up getting relegated from the Championship, was in order. After that, Liverpool went back to their careful and reserved wins, sneaking past West Brom 1-0 at the Hawthorns and then past Everton 2-1 at Wembley.

The stadium was packed again, and the atmosphere was vibrant. It is always in these sorts of atmospheres that someone gets sent off, so who was it to be this time? Danny. 12 minutes in, Rafa Benítez’s Liverpool found themselves a man down due to the attacking midfielder’s second yellow card, so soon. Arsenal capitalised, with Emmanual Adebayor scoring 24 minutes in, before going off injured after 38 minutes. By this time, Dirk Kuyt had equalised for Liverpool, only a minute after the opener. This left the crowd in a buoyant mood, screaming for more goals, which wouldn’t come ‘til later. Tom Smith’s side went in level with the Reds, but eventually scored again, Robin van Persie netting 67 minutes in. That was that for the FA Cup Final, and the trophy was travelling to the Emirates.

Concluding the report with a look at the managers in danger, who all happen to be in England. It could be an attempt at catching up by chairman here, as Spain have ejected four of their managers this season and Italy three, whereas only one has left us from the English crop. Mark Cator is in potentially hot water at Aston Villa, who finished their season in 13th place, two places below their predicted position, and with some poor results to boot. While Cator is almost sure to survive the summer, I expect a poor run of form next autumn will see him lose his job. Brucie Bonus is of course in trouble at West Brom, but as his chairman hasn’t seen fit to sack him yet, he will be sure to get a chance to play in the Championship to redeem his team’s poor performance this season. So far, Fréderico Canvey and Brettney Joven have gone down to the Championship and been sacked, but it is a kinder league than the second divisions of other countries, as Arnold J. Rimmer, whose Bolton achieved 8th place, to just miss out on Europe, acts as a success symbol. Finally, Liam Ferguson at Manchester City is also in danger. His side achieved 4th place and hence Champions League football, but there needs to be some improvement in fortunes for the board to not ditch him for a bigger name.

Manager of the Update
I think I have to give this to the manager who secured two trophies this month;

Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona

as trophies are the central theme of the month of May. Tom Smith and Ben Cee also won trophies, and did so very well, as did Lucas Volman who had the chance to win two or even three but only won one. Lawrence Lazewski was another trophy-winning manager whose glorious victory over Real Madrid put him very close to the award this month.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st m1234566778          Maz Armley          Racing      Very Secure   1058
     - Martin_              Martin Bojangles    Hull        Very Secure   1058
     - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   1058
     - Almondo              Arnold J. Rimmer    Bolton      Very Secure   1058
     - hasdgfas             Tim Aubel           Fulham      Very Secure   1058
     - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   1058
     - Waghlon              Lars Tommersen      Villarreal  Very Secure   1058
     - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Very Secure   1058
     - tadr                 Andre da Conceiçao  Chelsea     Very Secure   1058
     - BenArsenal           Ben Cee             Inter       Very Secure   1058
     - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   1058
     - ~Ian~                Bryan McGuinness    Everton     Very Secure   1058
     - ssestig              Theo Stigarakis     Catania     Very Secure   1058
     - SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham   Very Secure   1058
     - rancer890            Ricky Nakano        Middlesbro  Very Secure   1058
     - Cardiovascular       Cardio Vascular     Genoa       Very Secure   1058
  17th bermybhoy            bermybhoy           Atalanta    Secure        1058
     - super_lampard        Super Lampard       Lecce       Secure        1058
     - JSalter              James Salter        Reggina     Secure        1058
     - Greasy Chip Butty    Andy Morton         Sporting    Secure        1058
  21st IlikeJellybeans      Jellybean Man       Numancia    Stable        1058
     - clrkaitken           Clark Aitken        Roma        Stable        1058
     - Chimpos              Phill Ewles         Valladolid  Stable        1058
     - spartans5            Lawrence Lazewski   Valencia    Stable        1058
     - el sid               Cool Manager        At. Madrid  Stable        1058
     - TaylorB              Ben Taylor          Fiorentina  Stable        1058
     - Lower Leagues Rule   Jonte Rhodes        Lazio       Stable        1058
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        1058
     - mikeytwigge          Mikey Twigge        Palermo     Stable        1058
  30th markcator3006        Mark Cator          Aston Villa Very Insecure 1058
     - fergysafc            Liam Ferguson       Man City    Very Insecure 1058
     - Walcott’s Wonderkids Brucie Bonus        West Brom   Very Insecure 1058
  33rd Neji                 Neji Hyuuga         Deportivo                  999
  34th Jack Rudd            Lisa Jeffries       Juventus                   925
  35th pnefc22              Wobill Luman        Betis                      889
  36th AtilasMiserly        Will de Mote        A.C. Milan                 882
  37th JoeLatics            Joe Gleeson         Espanyol                   873
     - Blanco               Cristobal Blanco    Recreativo                 873
  39th ian_1982             Maurice Jobson      Man United                 852
  40th Ridleys              James Ridley        Siena                      843

[spartans5]

The Copa Del Rey and a presumably 3rd place finish in La Liga are only good enough for Stable? What is this

[Cardiomolester]

Very secure

[PluckaDuck]

Finishing the season really well, just missing out on a major trophy.

Very Secure and a Top 2 in the league. Can't ask for much better!

KUTGW Canvey!!

[super_lampard]

Survived for another season and secure as manager

[fergysafc]

very insecure

[el sid]

Just one trophy for Atletico Madrid Still stable though

[Almondo]

Just missed out on Europe. Ah well Rimmer's still secure

[BenArsenal]

Serie A champions!

[tomsmith1989]

FA Cup winners.

That was a great write up canvey. Keep it up.

[Lower Leagues Rule]

Very nice work Canvey, and good to see Jonte Rhodes is still stable, but that seems to be the bottom of the barrel these days as anyone lower down falls off the bandwagon.

[hasdgfas]

Very Secure, awesome

[canvey!!]

If you're a lurker who reads and doesn't post (and you have a manager in the sign-up), please post now so I know you're following along.

English Premier League Table
Spanish La Liga Table
Italian Serie A Table

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jul 08 James Salter, Reggina
  Aug 08 Lawrence Lazewski, Valencia
  Sep 08 Clark Aitken, Roma
  Oct 08 Clark Aitken, Roma 
  Nov 08 Leo Dodge, Tottenham 
  Dec 08 Maurice Jobson, Man United
  Jan 09 Bryan McGuinness, Everton
  Feb 09 Robert Boyle, Blackburn
  Mar 09 Brucie Bonus, West Brom
  Apr 09 Neji Hyuuga, Deportivo
  May 09 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 09 Jonte Rhodes, Lazio
  Jul 09 Wobill Luman, Betis
  Aug 09 Liam Ferguson, Man City
  Sep 09 Lisa Jeffries, Juventus
  Oct 09 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 09 Lisa Jeffries, Juventus
  Dec 09 Cool Manager, Atlético Madrid
  Jan 10 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 10 Super Lampard, Lecce
  Mar 10 bermybhoy, Atalanta
  Apr 10 Lawrence Lazewski, Valencia
  May 10 Will de Mote, A.C. Milan
  Jun 10 Will de Mote, A.C. Milan
  Jul 10 Super Lampard, Lecce
  Aug 10 Leo Dodge, Tottenham
  Sep 10 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 10 Mikey Twigge, Palermo
  Nov 10 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 10 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 11 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 11 Lawrence Lazewski, Valencia
  Mar 11 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 11 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  May 11 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona

Top Ten – Games Played

   Pos +- Username      Manager            Club     Played
   1st +2 tomsmith1989  Tom Smith          Arsenal     183
   2nd  0 tadr          Andre da Conceiçao Chelsea     179
   3rd +5 Romanista1994 Lucas Volman       Real Madrid 177
     - +6 Haowan        Haowan Madridstas  Barcelona   177
   5th  0 spartans5     Lawrence Lazewski  Valencia    174
   6th -1 Waghlon       Lars Tommersen     Villarreal  173
   7th +3 el sid        Cool Manager       At. Madrid  170
   8th -4 SCIAG         Leo Dodge          Tottenham   164
   9th NE BenArsenal    Ben Cee            Inter       159
  10th -3 fergysafc     Liam Ferguson      Man City    158

[spartans5]

Too many draws, need to work on that for next season and get 3 points out of those matches instead of just 1

[ssestig]

Lower mid-table again

[fergysafc]

4th place and they going to sack me...no pleasing some people

[PluckaDuck]

Finished a long way behind Inter in the race for the Serie A title, but 2nd is a brilliant performance none the less!

[bermybhoy]

Top half will do nicely for Atalanta.

[hasdgfas]

12th. Should do better.

[Lower Leagues Rule]

Nice work for 7th with Lazio, now to build up another spot next year.

[el sid]

5th is a decent enough position for Atletico Madrid, but 15 points off 4th place is ridiculous

[canvey!!]

Again, post if you're a lurker (unless you just posted, then it's at your discretion).

Update 36
Years: 3, Months: 36, Days: 1088

Our managers were in need of a good rest after a long season, and with no World Cup distraction this season, the players, save for those travelling to the North American Gold Cup, also got a good rest. Well, there was one of our teams in fully-fledged action this month, but we’ll get to them in due course.

First we’ll take a look at some of the transfers in the past month. As has been the norm, Italy are the only country to have any transfers in June, so it is there that we will obviously turn our attention. Theo Stigarakis has been busy, collecting two high-value players to join his Catania squad. Last year Catania achieved 13th place; this year they are predicted 14th and Stigarakis appears to be bolstering his squad to keep the club safe from relegation, nestled into that comfortable lower-mid-table position. Pablo Ledesma joined from Lord Weeman’s Napoli for £12.5M, and Amr Zaki from Jonte Rhodes’s Lazio for £5.5M, the two biggest transfers of the month. A number of transfers insignificant to us followed the latter, while Ben Taylor’s Fiorentina offloaded Marcel Román to Cardio Vascular’s Genoa for £3.2M. I think it must have had something to do with co-ownership as Román’s profile shows no record of having been at Fiorentina at all. Still, Taylor won’t complain. Otherwise, Nicola Pozzi joined the fringe of Udinese players, giving his former club, newly-promoted Empoli, £2.1M. That was literally all the transfers involving our teams and money this month.

A look to England now, where Cardiff, Stoke and Wigan have joined the ranks of Premier League teams. Stoke are predicted to finish 18th, with Wigan 19th and Cardiff bottom. Unsurprisingly, given their poor form at the end of last season, Scott Tysoe’s West Ham are predicted to finish 17th, but they would be my tip for the drop with Wigan looking like potential survivors. Of our teams, Tim Aubel’s Fulham are predicted to be the closest to drop, with the bookies having them as likely 13th-placed finishers. Mark Cator’s Aston Villa are predicted twelfth, and both of these predictions are valid considering these two teams finished in those two positions last year, albeit the other way round. It’s interesting that Arsenal haven’t been tipped to take a second consecutive Premier League title, with the bookies opting for Liam Ferguson’s Man City to claim the crown this season. Based on last season’s poor performances against big clubs, I don’t believe the bookies’ prediction, and my bets would lie squarely with an Arsenal victory. Down in the Championship, West Brom are expected to bounce straight back up as champions, with Bristol City to follow in second place.

In Italy, Ben Cee’s Inter are believed to be capable of securing 1st place again, with Clark Aitken and Roma the favourites for second place. Last year’s nearly-there team Udinese are predicted 4th, just behind A.C. Milan. New arrivals Frosinone and Livorno are predicted to get relegated, as are Lecce. However, Reggina and Parma are also close to going down. My personal belief is that all three sides of non-interest to us will go down: that being Frosinone, Livorno and Parma, although newly-promoted Empoli, with a threadbare squad but a generous prediction of 15th, could go down. As for the top of the table, it is difficult to tell. While I think that Udinese won’t make it this year, and A.C. Milan are still experiencing a changeover period, it is still tough to choose between Roma and Inter. Roma are on a knife-edge now: there’s only black and white for them. In my opinion, they won’t finish second, but will either scoop the league title, or finish 5th or 6th and show Aitken the door in a blaze of fury and embarrassment. Soon we’ll see, and Ben Cee certainly wouldn’t roll over if Roma were to try to fall on the right side of the knife edge.

Due to finishing top of the Sporting Play table, Israel gained an extra Europa League place for this coming season, a place taken by Beitar Jerusalem, who failed to qualify normally ahead of some more obscure teams. The Sporting Play draw saw two other nations given the chance to enter an extra team, and these other two nations were Denmark and, for the second year running, Italy! Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? It hasn’t changed since last year, therefore Super Lampard’s Lecce are going back into Europe! Denmark sent in FC Midtjylland, incidentally. Last year Lecce secured a 9-0 win over Armenians Banants Yerevan in the First Qualifying Round, so this year they were keen to go one better. Or two better, or even six better, and one worse. If you can get your head round that, you can figure out that Lecce won their First Qualifying Round tie 15-1 against poor, humbled Klaksvíkar Ítróttarfelag of the Faroe Islands. It took just one minute for Lecce to score in the home leg, and just four minutes for them to be 3-0 up. At half time it was 6-0 and at full time it was 11-0, with Ivorian Cedric Konan bagging a hattrick and Guillermo Giacomazzi getting two goals, with the other six scored by six individuals. Even goalkeeper Ben Foster put in a good performance, with KÍ tallying three on-target shots. In the return leg in Klaksvík, the minnows took the lead, but it was 2-1 Lecce at half time, and the Italians won 4-1 thanks to a Landon Donovan brace and two other goalscorers. The next round wasn’t quite so spectacular but fun nonetheless: Lecce welcomed Moldovans Olimpia Bălţî and sent them back 0-6 worse off.

Looking at managers’ Job Securities, it is quite surprising how many Very Secure managers there are at the moment. With the Spanish League still to reset, obviously their chairman are not looking to the future just yet, but there are numerous managers in Italy up there too, which implies to me that the Italian league has not completely reset either. One thing is for sure: don’t expect those Very Secures to last long. Pretty soon we’ll be into the cold winter and those chairmen will be looking to punish some poor results. Our two managers in the second divisons should take extra care.

Manager of the Update
Well, this shan’t be too tricky;

Super Lampard, Lecce

wins this month’s award for managing to get into Europe two years running despite hovering about the relegation zone, and then absolutely caning the opposition when he does so! His combined 22-1 victory in his first three Europa League matches shows how much fun his Lecce team have in the early stages here. Had Italy not gotten that extra Europa League place, the award still would have been easy: Theo Stigarakis has clearly got some game going on and has already brought in two players to strengthen his squad. His middle-of-the-road stability looks like it will come to the fore again this season, and as this is a marathon, not a sprint, it could just get him ever so close to that 60 to One crown, if not all the way.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st m1234566778          Maz Armley          Racing      Very Secure   1088
     - Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   1088
     - Waghlon              Lars Tommersen      Villarreal  Very Secure   1088
     - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Very Secure   1088
     - BenArsenal           Ben Cee             Inter       Very Secure   1088
     - ssestig              Theo Stigarakis     Catania     Very Secure   1088
     - bermybhoy            bermybhoy           Atalanta    Very Secure   1088
     - JSalter              James Salter        Reggina     Very Secure   1088
     - Greasy Chip Butty    Andy Morton         Sporting    Very Secure   1088
     - Chimpos              Phill Ewles         Valladolid  Very Secure   1088
     - spartans5            Lawrence Lazewski   Valencia    Very Secure   1088
     - el sid               Cool Manager        At. Madrid  Very Secure   1088
     - TaylorB              Ben Taylor          Fiorentina  Very Secure   1088
     - Lower Leagues Rule   Jonte Rhodes        Lazio       Very Secure   1088
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   1088
     - mikeytwigge          Mikey Twigge        Palermo     Very Secure   1088
  17th tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Secure        1088
  18th Martin_              Martin Bojangles    Hull        Stable        1088
     - Almondo              Arnold J. Rimmer    Bolton      Stable        1088
     - hasdgfas             Tim Aubel           Fulham      Stable        1088
     - tadr                 Andre da Conceiçao  Chelsea     Stable        1088
     - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Stable        1088
     - ~Ian~                Bryan McGuinness    Everton     Stable        1088
     - SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham   Stable        1088
     - rancer890            Ricky Nakano        Middlesbro  Stable        1088
     - Cardiovascular       Cardio Vascular     Genoa       Stable        1088
     - super_lampard        Super Lampard       Lecce       Stable        1088
     - IlikeJellybeans      Jellybean Man       Numancia    Stable        1088
     - clrkaitken           Clark Aitken        Roma        Stable        1088
     - markcator3006        Mark Cator          Aston Villa Stable        1088
     - fergysafc            Liam Ferguson       Man City    Stable        1088
     - Walcott’s Wonderkids Brucie Bonus        West Brom   Stable        1088
  33rd Neji                 Neji Hyuuga         Deportivo                  999
  34th Jack Rudd            Lisa Jeffries       Juventus                   925
  35th pnefc22              Wobill Luman        Betis                      889
  36th AtilasMiserly        Will de Mote        A.C. Milan                 882
  37th JoeLatics            Joe Gleeson         Espanyol                   873
     - Blanco               Cristobal Blanco    Recreativo                 873
  39th ian_1982             Maurice Jobson      Man United                 852
  40th Ridleys              James Ridley        Siena                      843

[ssestig]

Spending some serious (for Catania anyway) money.

[rancer890]

No news is good news. KUTGW canvey!!

[PluckaDuck]

Well done Super lampard, that's a masssive win!

Nothing for me though, which is always a good thing.

KUTGW Canvey

[Almondo]

no news is good news

[hasdgfas]

Predicted 13th. Would like higher.

[super_lampard]

What a month, 15-1 and 6-0 great acheivement to be in europe again

And yet after all that i'm still only stable

[spartans5]

Well, no mention, but finally very secure, even if the reset is about to occur.

[Lower Leagues Rule]

No news except a transfer out, but a move to Very Secure, exactly what I needed.

[BenArsenal]

Very secure.

Very good.

[el sid]

What a win for Lecce

Very Secure for the first time ever

[fergysafc]

back to secure

KUTGW

[Walcott\'s Wonderkids]

The league reset system - really can be a hammerblow or an absolutely bonus depending on how you fared the previous system.

After the 1st season, where Brucie Bonus helped West Brom to a safe mid-table position, he was rated secure or very secure, only to be wiped back to stable.

After the 2nd season, when BB got WBA relegated, he was very insecure, only for the league reset season to pump him back up to stable!


'mon a good start to life in the Championship, or otherwise it really will be curtains for Brucie.


KUTGW

[canvey!!]

After the 1st season, where Brucie Bonus helped West Brom to a safe mid-table position, he was rated secure or very secure, only to be wiped back to stable.

After the 2nd season, when BB got WBA relegated, he was very insecure, only for the league reset season to pump him back up to stable!

That was the 3rd season - West Brom finished 10th, then 15th, then 20th.

[Walcott\'s Wonderkids]

That was the 3rd season - West Brom finished 10th, then 15th, then 20th.

Oh yeah, doh!

Forgot about the 2nd season... been a gradual decline, time to test our bouncebackability!

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jul 08 James Salter, Reggina
  Aug 08 Lawrence Lazewski, Valencia
  Sep 08 Clark Aitken, Roma
  Oct 08 Clark Aitken, Roma 
  Nov 08 Leo Dodge, Tottenham 
  Dec 08 Maurice Jobson, Man United
  Jan 09 Bryan McGuinness, Everton
  Feb 09 Robert Boyle, Blackburn
  Mar 09 Brucie Bonus, West Brom
  Apr 09 Neji Hyuuga, Deportivo
  May 09 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 09 Jonte Rhodes, Lazio
  Jul 09 Wobill Luman, Betis
  Aug 09 Liam Ferguson, Man City
  Sep 09 Lisa Jeffries, Juventus
  Oct 09 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 09 Lisa Jeffries, Juventus
  Dec 09 Cool Manager, Atlético Madrid
  Jan 10 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 10 Super Lampard, Lecce
  Mar 10 bermybhoy, Atalanta
  Apr 10 Lawrence Lazewski, Valencia
  May 10 Will de Mote, A.C. Milan
  Jun 10 Will de Mote, A.C. Milan
  Jul 10 Super Lampard, Lecce
  Aug 10 Leo Dodge, Tottenham
  Sep 10 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 10 Mikey Twigge, Palermo
  Nov 10 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 10 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 11 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 11 Lawrence Lazewski, Valencia
  Mar 11 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 11 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  May 11 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 11 Super Lampard, Lecce

Top Ten – Games Won

   Pos +- Username      Manager            Club        Won Percent
   1st  0 Romanista1994 Lucas Volman       Real Madrid 123 (69.5%)
   2nd +1 tomsmith1989  Tom Smith          Arsenal     122 (66.7%)
   3rd +3 Haowan        Haowan Madridstas  Barcelona   119 (67.2%)
   4th +1 tadr          Andre da Conceiçao Chelsea     110 (61.5%)
   5th +4 spartans5     Lawrence Lazewski  Valencia    104 (59.8%)
     - -1 BenArsenal    Ben Cee            Inter       104 (65.4%)
   7th NE Waghlon       Lars Tommersen     Villarreal   93 (53.8%)
   8th  0 clrkaitken    Clark Aitken       Roma         91 (58.7%)
   9th -2 fergysafc     Liam Ferguson      Man City     89 (56.3%)
  10th NE el sid        Cool Manager       At. Madrid   83 (48.8%)

[SCIAG]

Still in, still stable

[canvey!!]

Posting Check-Up

As promised, I'm going to give those who need it a boot up the hindquarters for not posting. If you're manager's fired, you've posted since Update 35 or you've posted at least 10 times, you're okay.

~Ian~, IlikeJellybeans, Greasy Chip Butty, Taylor B and JSalter: I want you to try and post more as you have posted fewer than 10 times. I'll be keeping track of activity, and if you are reading along but not posting, I'll give you opportunities, like above, to come out of the woodwork. Please use these, as like you will see below, there may be penalties for posting too sparsely.

The following have posted fewer than 5 times. They will all be getting a PM, except for three of them.
4 times: Haowan
3 times: Martin_, mikeytwigge, clrkaitken
2 times: Waghlon
1 times: Romanista1994, m1234566778
0 times: markcator3006, tadr, Chimpos

Those last three, markcator3006 (Aston Villa), tadr (Chelsea) and Chimpos (Valladolid) have hereby been dropped from the sign-up and cannot win. I will stop featuring them in updates (although I've already written the next few). Ironically, one of the other two sign-up runners wanted to give markcator3006 an invitation.

[m1234566778]

Very secure, and top of the leader board.

KUTGW

[Romanista1994]

1st in games won!

But only stable security.

[Greasy Chip Butty]

[B]Posting Check-Up

~Ian~, IlikeJellybeans, Greasy Chip Butty, Taylor B and JSalter: I want you to try and post more as you have posted fewer than 10 times. I'll be keeping track of activity, and if you are reading along but not posting, I'll give you opportunities, like above, to come out of the woodwork. Please use these, as like you will see below, there may be penalties for posting too sparsely.

Understand your point mate completely. As you know from my sign-up's it is one of the things that gets on my nerves. I will try to post more.

I can confirm that when you put a lot of work into a sign-up, a lack of posting from the participants is annoying. I think you've done right to get rid of those who haven't posted at all.

However, whilst I understand that you have loads of people taking part and it's hard to update on everyone, some of the problem with a lack of posting might be down to a lack of mentions? After my manager's last mention in an update, I posted. Since then, my only mention has been in the stability list. I do read it regularly but if my stability hasn't changed and there is no mention, I'm not likely to have much to say. Not a criticism because the amount of work you're doing - it needs to be remembered that three of you started this - is phenomenal but I guess it is an excuse/reason. Not sure how the others view it.

Hopefully as the numbers fall, this might change anyway!

KUTGW!

[canvey!!]

However, whilst I understand that you have loads of people taking part and it's hard to update on everyone, some of the problem with a lack of posting might be down to a lack of mentions? After my manager's last mention in an update, I posted. Since then, my only mention has been in the stability list. I do read it regularly but if my stability hasn't changed and there is no mention, I'm not likely to have much to say. Not a criticism because the amount of work you're doing - it needs to be remembered that three of you started this - is phenomenal but I guess it is an excuse/reason. Not sure how the others view it.

That is a fair point and I do try and balance out the amount of updates. This isn't an attack on you, but my records show you have been mentioned 20 times, which, if you posted just once every other time, you'd have met that 10-post threshold. I realise that there are a few managers who I have underrepresented (~Ian~, hasdgfas, m1234566778, Chimpos, Waghlon, Cardio Vascular, LLR, weeman are all under 55% mention [~Ian is the lowest on 46%] - and some of these have fewer mentions simply because they weren't posting). I also realise that you may not see the need to post every time, and that's very fair to say, I do that myself; it just seems silly to post after an update featuring no real change in one's circumstances. What annoys me more are those people who have no aversion to posting, as can be evident elsewhere, but do not post, and also those who haven't posted at all, particularly tadr whom I gave a spot at the start on his promise to me that he would participate.

The attention I drew to those who had posted between 5 and 9 times was just a gentle reminder, although tbh having the 'penalties for posting sparsely' alongside it made it look more like it was directed at those 5 people, when it would be more directed at the ones who had posted fewer than 5 times. The reason you were included in those 5 people was because you had not posted since Update 35, although tbf you posted just before it. I know it may seem silly but when I make those little announcements for lurkers to come out of the woodwork I'd like to see a post (this is aimed at everyone reading), because it is actually a really good way of me finding out who is reading but not posting.

I feel like I am arguing with you all the time lately, GCB . So I sent you a friend request .

[Greasy Chip Butty]

I feel like I am arguing with you all the time lately, GCB . So I sent you a friend request .

No worries! I wouldn't class it as an argument; more a discussion! Anyway, I know where you're coming from on this one.

I think it is a massive sign-up (probably too big for one person) and you were always going to have the issue that you've got. Personally, I know that I'll post more nearer the end - if I'm still in. Like I said, I think in some situations - definitely mine - people are reading and don't have enough to say to make a post. I know that posts like ...

Yay, I'm still stable!

... would actually get on my nerves just as much so I don't post that way.

The more managers that fall, the more the remaining people will post if they are reading. I'm sure of it.

[canvey!!]

Writer's Notes: This update was written before tadr, markcator3006 and Chimpos were ejected from the sign-up.

Update 37
Years: 3, Months: 37, Days: 1119

The new season is almost upon us! With July gone, and with it a river of friendly games, transfers in European minnow action, later this month the players kick off their domestic league seasons. In Spain, Barcelona are tipped for a second consecutive title, while Murcia, Betis and Tenerife are predicted to go down, the former two having just been promoted and the latter narrowly missing the drop at the end of last season. Just because those are the three predicted to go down doesn’t mean Andy Morton should stop sweating – his Sporting team are the bookies’ favourite to finish 17th, and of course finishing any lower would be disastrous for the club. In the second division, Jellybean Man’s Numancia are predicted to finish 4th, a position which should they achieve it would not see them in La Liga next season. However, I have some faith in the team and think they are one of our better teams in recent years to have to make the drop down a tier.

Super Lampard’s Lecce completed their victory over Olimpia Bălţî with another 6-0 win, this time in Moldova, for a combined 12-0 aggregate; an impressive haul. In the next round, Lampard’s team were joined by some of our other managers, but they found themselves against FK Napredak Krusevac from Serbia. A 4-0 victory in Italy was followed up by a 3-0 one in Serbia for a combined 7-0 victory. Also in this round, Jonte Rhodes’s Lazio defeated Albanian’s KF Tirana 6-1, which matched the scoreline of Bryan McGuiness’s Everton against Swiss team Neuchâtel Xamax. Maz Armley’s Racing defeated Dinamo of Croatia 5-1. This brings an end to Dinamo’s high scoring run: of all the teams in the competition, Lecce lead goalscoring charts with 34 goals, and Dinamo are second with 16. Lecce scoring double the goals of their nearest competitor, however, is sure to be a boost to them, and this month they did all that as well as two 2-1 away wins over Perugia and Qingdao.

Of course July is a transfer-rich month, and there were a few clubs doing a lot of spending. Lord Weeman’s Napoli brought in the record signing for the month, that being Mathias Jørgensen from A.C. Milan for £32.5M. However, as before, I believe this means that they bought out a co-ownership agreement, seeing as I cannot find record of being at A.C. Milan in Jørgensen’s history. I also recall Jørgensen’s transfer before and I think it was a co-ownership. Why can’t Italy just have normal transfers? There were more transfers in Italy; Juventus spent a load of money, but the second-biggest transfer was Ben Cee bringing in Lúcio from Bayern Munich, for £22.5M. With Inter expected to take the title but me predicting a fight between themselves and Roma for it, the veteran Brazilian defender may be a good purchase. Whether he is worth quite that much remains to be seen. Some of the clubs benefitting from Juventus’ lucrative spending were Barcelona (Diego, £17.25M), Mikey Twigge’s Palermo (Mancini, £17.25M), Leverkusen, Shakhtar and Brucie Bonus’s West Brom (Gianni Zuiverloon, £8.25M). Indeed, what with their relegation to the Championship, Bonus has sold a number of players. As well as Zuiverloon, Borja Valero joined Zaragoza for £5.25M, Jonas Olsson joined Newcastle for £4.5M, Leeds signed Abdoulaye Meïté for £1.3M, and a further four players were sold to Leicester, Watford, Birmingham and Lille. Numancia, our other side to go down, also sold a number of their better players, acquiring £3.5M from Galatasaray for Dimas, £3.4M from Sporting for José Manuel Villegas, £1.9M from Recreativo for Juanra and £1.3M from Hércules for Ayoze.

Other transfers include Andre da Conceiçao’s Chelsea signing Demba Ba from Man City for £14.75M, and Mark Cator’s Aston Villa gaining £13.25M by selling Pape Diakhate to Portsmouth. Further Chelsea transfers include Jean Il Makoun joining from Lyon for £12.75M, and the same price tag being accorded to James Milner, whom Cator also sold. The Blues also bought Steven Davis from Rangers for £7.5M. Leo Dodge got £12.25M for selling Giovanni dos Santos to Portsmouth, and Lucas Volman spent £12M bringing Diogo to the Bernabéu. Cool Manager spent £26.15M on his three biggest transfers into Atlético Madrid, including Cristian Ledesma from Lazio for £10.75M. That covers all the transfers over £10M, but there were many more beyond: Aston Villa brought in Bristol City’s Jonathan Howson for £8.75M to replace their sales, and Lord Weeman’s Napoli also made another two big signings: Stéphane Sessègnon from PSG for £6.75M and Juan Forlin from Theo Stigarakis’s Catania for £250k less. Catania in turn made Bristol City manager Gary Johnson very happy in giving him a second large sale, taking from him Marvin Elliot for £6M. Nicolas Anelka got a transfer once again, this time joining Liam Ferguson’s Man City from Newcastle.

With a break from transfers just for a moment, the draw has been made for the Carling Cup 1st Round, and Brucie Bonus’s West Brom face a nice and comfortable home tie against Yeovil. The Italian Cup has also seen its first round drawn, but there are none of our teams involved in that, obviously, while the Copa del Rey has yet to start. Next month, however, in cup action; Real Madrid face Barcelona in the European Super Cup, while Barcelona face Lawrence Lazewski’s Valencia in the Spanish Super Cup. The Community Shield sees Chelsea and Arsenal compete with Italian rivals Inter Milan and A.C. Milan fighting it out there.

Back to transfers for a moment, and it’s just a few mentions to teams who haven’t made big transfers but deserve a little mention. In Italy, Cardio Vascular’s Genoa raised £3.2M from three sales this month, although one was for nothing. Steve Pinau joined Lecce for £350k, and Luca Antonini joined Marco van Basten’s A.C. Milan for £2.8M. Vascular also made some signings, continuing on from the two he made last month. Two co-ownership deals from Livorno and Bari summed to £790k, while Hugo Viani was welcomed to Luigi Ferraris (that’s Genoa’s stadium) after £1.8M was given to Scott Tysoe’s West Ham. In Spain, Phill Ewles’s Valladolid brought in Carlos Caballero for £1.7M from Cádiz, making a load of free transfer outwards too. The team are predicted 15th so ought to do a little more spending if they want to avoid relegation for sure. And in England, Ricky Nakano did absolutely nothing at the Riverside. Well, that’s not strictly true, he did scratch his back. He also brought in Jason Koumas for free, got £0 for Seb Hines who joined Racing, and loaned out Joe Bennett to Bohemians as well as releasing three players, including Mido.

So, league football starts next month. You need to be there, or you’ll be square!

Manager of the Update
This month, a rare award to;

Mark Cator, Aston Villa

for having the confidence to sell some big players and the tact to bring in some lesser-known ones as replacements. Our early European entrants were also in the running, that being Super Lampard who continued his run with Lecce, and Maz Armley, Jonte Rhodes and Bryan McGuinness. Both Andre da Conceiçao and Lord Weeman spent a lot of money, but I will have to wait a while to be able to judge whether that was wisely spent. However, it’s clear that someone is certainly itching for a league title!

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Secure        1119
     - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Secure        1119
     - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Secure        1119
   4th m1234566778          Maz Armley          Racing      Stable        1119
     - Waghlon              Lars Tommersen      Villarreal  Stable        1119
     - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        1119
     - BenArsenal           Ben Cee             Inter       Stable        1119
     - ssestig              Theo Stigarakis     Catania     Stable        1119
     - bermybhoy            bermybhoy           Atalanta    Stable        1119
     - JSalter              James Salter        Reggina     Stable        1119
     - Greasy Chip Butty    Andy Morton         Sporting    Stable        1119
     - Chimpos              Phill Ewles         Valladolid  Stable        1119
     - spartans5            Lawrence Lazewski   Valencia    Stable        1119
     - el sid               Cool Manager        At. Madrid  Stable        1119
     - TaylorB              Ben Taylor          Fiorentina  Stable        1119
     - Lower Leagues Rule   Jonte Rhodes        Lazio       Stable        1119
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        1119
     - mikeytwigge          Mikey Twigge        Palermo     Stable        1119
     - Martin_              Martin Bojangles    Hull        Stable        1119
     - Almondo              Arnold J. Rimmer    Bolton      Stable        1119
     - hasdgfas             Tim Aubel           Fulham      Stable        1119
     - tadr                 Andre da Conceiçao  Chelsea     Stable        1119
     - ~Ian~                Bryan McGuinness    Everton     Stable        1119
     - SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham   Stable        1119
     - rancer890            Ricky Nakano        Middlesbro  Stable        1119
     - Cardiovascular       Cardio Vascular     Genoa       Stable        1119
     - super_lampard        Super Lampard       Lecce       Stable        1119
     - IlikeJellybeans      Jellybean Man       Numancia    Stable        1119
     - clrkaitken           Clark Aitken        Roma        Stable        1119
     - markcator3006        Mark Cator          Aston Villa Stable        1119
     - fergysafc            Liam Ferguson       Man City    Stable        1119
     - Walcott’s Wonderkids Brucie Bonus        West Brom   Stable        1119
  33rd Neji                 Neji Hyuuga         Deportivo                  999
  34th Jack Rudd            Lisa Jeffries       Juventus                   925
  35th pnefc22              Wobill Luman        Betis                      889
  36th AtilasMiserly        Will de Mote        A.C. Milan                 882
  37th JoeLatics            Joe Gleeson         Espanyol                   873
     - Blanco               Cristobal Blanco    Recreativo                 873
  39th ian_1982             Maurice Jobson      Man United                 852
  40th Ridleys              James Ridley        Siena                      843

[tomsmith1989]

Secure! Looking forward to next month's Community Shield action. I'm definitely hoping for some early silverware.

[spartans5]

Stable, makes sense, and a date with Barcelona in the Super Cup, lets up that goes well.

[m1234566778]

5-1 and stable

Easy.

[Greasy Chip Butty]

Delighted that Andy Morton's Sporting are predicted low again. Makes achieving expectations (maybe even exceeding) and being secure/safe all the more easy. I'm beginning to think Sporting is a damn good pick!

[PluckaDuck]

Been reset back to stable, hoping for a big rise as Udinese make another charge at the Seie A title..

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jul 08 James Salter, Reggina
  Aug 08 Lawrence Lazewski, Valencia
  Sep 08 Clark Aitken, Roma
  Oct 08 Clark Aitken, Roma 
  Nov 08 Leo Dodge, Tottenham 
  Dec 08 Maurice Jobson, Man United
  Jan 09 Bryan McGuinness, Everton
  Feb 09 Robert Boyle, Blackburn
  Mar 09 Brucie Bonus, West Brom
  Apr 09 Neji Hyuuga, Deportivo
  May 09 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 09 Jonte Rhodes, Lazio
  Jul 09 Wobill Luman, Betis
  Aug 09 Liam Ferguson, Man City
  Sep 09 Lisa Jeffries, Juventus
  Oct 09 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 09 Lisa Jeffries, Juventus
  Dec 09 Cool Manager, Atlético Madrid
  Jan 10 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 10 Super Lampard, Lecce
  Mar 10 bermybhoy, Atalanta
  Apr 10 Lawrence Lazewski, Valencia
  May 10 Will de Mote, A.C. Milan
  Jun 10 Will de Mote, A.C. Milan
  Jul 10 Super Lampard, Lecce
  Aug 10 Leo Dodge, Tottenham
  Sep 10 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 10 Mikey Twigge, Palermo
  Nov 10 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 10 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 11 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 11 Lawrence Lazewski, Valencia
  Mar 11 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 11 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  May 11 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 11 Super Lampard, Lecce
  Jul 11 Mark Cator, Aston Villa

Top Ten – Games Drawn

   Pos +- Username           Manager            Club     Drawn Percent
   1st +1 el sid             Cool Manager       At. Madrid  42 (24.7%)
     - +4 Lower Leagues Rule Jonte Rhodes       Lazio       42 (32.1%)
   3rd +2 m1234566778        Maz Armley         Racing      39 (28.3%)
     - -1 tomsmith1989       Tom Smith          Arsenal     39 (21.3%)
   5th -4 Waghlon            Lars Tommersen     Villarreal  38 (22.0%)
   6th NE spartans5          Lawrence Lazewski  Valencia    37 (21.3%)
   7th  0 markcator3006      Mark Cator         Aston Villa 36 (24.7%)
     - NE super_lampard      Super Lampard      Lecce       36 (24.7%)
   9th -2 tadr               Andre da Conceiçao Chelsea     35 (19.6%)
     - NE Almondo            Arnold J. Rimmer   Bolton      35 (24.3%)
     - -2 ~Ian~              Bryan McGuinness   Everton     35 (24.3%)

Lifespan – 1 to 2 Years

   Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days
  41st conners              Sirus Lannock       Málaga     628
  42nd MikaelS              Mikael Schøler      Bologna    613
  43rd Swafe                Saul Goode          Osasuna    551
  44th hamilton162          Tom Hamilton        Mallorca   509
  45th kashmirshazad        Shazad Ali          Newcastle  508
  46th DiscoStu94           Da Hoover Man       Sampdoria  501
     - ScottT!              Scott Tysoe         Sunderland 501
  48th canvey!!             Fréderico Canvey    Stoke      476

Lifespan – Less than 1 Year

   Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days
  49th corinthiano          Mathias Brunckhorst Chievo     327
     - Neilio               Neilio              Almería    327
  51st Robert_296           Robert Boyle        Blackburn  326
  52nd brettney1980         Brettney Joven      Wigan      320
  53rd TigerJoe             Joe Seddon          Getafe     271
  54th jack.browne          Jack Browne         Sevilla    250
  55th NepentheZ            Neppo Monster       Cagliari   236
     - dafuge               dafuge              Torino     236
  57th KiddingChoc          Zach Machios        Portsmouth 235
     - Whoopy D             Whoopy D            West Ham   235
  59th d-machine            David Machine       Athletic   229
  60th PaulHartman71        Jeremy English      Liverpool  204

[el sid]

£26.15 million spent \o/ Ledesma

Also first in the number of games drawn category We could be on for a better challenge this season if we convert some of those into wins

[BenArsenal]

Just had a quick check of who's posted in here, and aside from canvey who obviously has the most posts, 2nd to 6th posters are separated by just three posts.

I'm 4th, one behind the joint 2nd (el sid and LLR).

Keep posting everyone!

[Romanista1994]

Secure.

[canvey!!]

This was also written before the three managers were kicked out.

Update 38
Years: 3, Months: 38, Days: 1150

The new season has kicked off, after a month full of exciting transfers and deals. Looking at the top of the English Premier League table, we see that four teams are closest so far with a perfect record after three games, with Bryan McGuiness’s Everton being the surprise contender. The team, who spent £6.1M this month on two players, have beaten Hull, Newcastle and Bolton this month, as well as progressed through the Europa League 4th Qualifying Round with a 4-0 aggregate over Aberdeen. Among them in the Premier League are Chelsea and the two teams from Manchester. Holders Tom Smith’s Arsenal find themselves wantonly in 8th place after the failed to beat Sunderland away and did even worse at Villa Park, going down 0-1. However, their last result came against bottom-placed Cardiff, a convincing 4-0 win. This month, Smith also saw his team lose the Community Shield on penalties to Andre da Conceiçao’s Chelsea. Smith made no transfers in August, although I don’t believe I mentioned last month’s £3.6M transfer of Andrey Arshavin to Napoli.

Over to Spain now, where we’ll start with a quick update on the Spanish Cup. Jellybean Man’s Numancia hold a 2-0 lead over fellow LIGA adelante side Lorca, with the away leg still to come. In the league, Numancia are 10th after opening their campaign with a 1-0 win over Melilla. Moving up a bit, and with just one game played in La Liga, it is not easy or accurate to say who might win the league based on that game. However, Andy Morton will be pleased that his Sporting team are third, as one of six teams to win. They travelled to Recreativo and came away with a 3-1 victory. Real Madrid and Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona being the top two will come as no surprise to anyone. Barcelona smashed newly-promoted Betis at home, and Real the same to Real Sociedad. These two teams also played each other in the European Super Cup, where just under 20,000 fans watched Real Madrid’s 2-0 victory.

The biggest transfer of the month was certainly a very interesting one. For the handsome sum of £29.5M, Giuseppe Rossi left Lars Tommersen’s Villarreal to join Clark Aitken’s Roma. Tommersen spent £4.6M bringing in David Trezeguet from Juventus. Some of the other major transfers were Mario Gómez joining Leo Dodge’s Tottenham for £21.5M from Stuttgart, Pepe heading from Real Madrid to Inter for £18M, and Simon Vukcevic leaving Sporting CP behind for the bright lights of Ben Taylor’s Fiorentina in a £13.75M deal. Taylor also spent £10M on Tottenham’s Leonardo Ponzio, but raised that back with an extra £500k through the sale of Freddy Adu to Inter on a co-ownership, while Clark Aitken, in an effort to offset his hefty Rossi transfer, sold John Obi Mikel to Lyon for £10.75M. Later in the month, Taylor and Fiorentina got another £7M for that Adu transfer. Like I said last month, why can’t Italian transfers be simpler? Meanwhile, Dimitar Berbatov swapped the bright lights at Real Madrid for those at relatively lowly Mark Cator’s Aston Villa, and he wasn’t the only player to do so. As well as that £8M Berbatov transfer, Cator brought in Olexandr Chyzhov for £10M from Lille.

The Italians have played two games of their season, and Lord Weeman’s Napoli sit top, as one of two teams with a perfect record. Thanks to Marek Hamsik’s four goals and those of three others, Weeman’s team defeated their first two opponents, Brescia and Reggina, 3-0. The scoreline was matched in the Italian Cup 3rd Qualifying Round match against Mantova, and Bari make up Napoli’s next opponents in that competition. Also on 6 points are Tyler Burrows’s Udinese, whose wins weren’t quite so extravagant but were just as good, if not better. He got his own 3-0 victory, over Livorno, but the better win might be the away trip to play Inter that ended in a 1-0 Udinese win. As a result, Ben Cee’s team are in 15th, drawing their second game, and Clark Aitken’s Roma are in 13th after drawing both games. Super Lampard’s Lecce also drew both their games, failing to score both against Catania and Palermo, but this month they secured progression into the Europa League Group Stage by beating Lillestrøm 3-0 on aggregate, and matched that scoreline in just the one leg in their cup tie with Vincenza.

With more news from the Europa League now, and as well as Lecce and Everton, many more of our teams made the Group Stages from the 4th Qualifying Round. Leo Dodge’s Tottenham defeated Cypriots Anorthosi 5-0 on aggregate, while Martin Bojangles’s Hull beat FC Inter of Finland 8-2. Maz Armley’s Racing progressed 4-0 against Israelis S.C. Ashdod, and their fellow Spaniards, Cool Manager’s Atlético Madrid, annihilated FC Moscow 14-0 on aggregate. Italian teams Palermo and Lazio also reached the Group Stage, with wins over Le Mans and Club Brugge respectively. In the Champions League, Liam Ferguson’s Man City reached the Group Stages with a win over Ajax, 7-4, as did Fiorentina who beat Stade Rennais 7-1, and Schalke, who knocked out Villarreal 4-2. The most interesting group for us is that involving both Fiorentina and Real Madrid, although we’ll also be keeping an eye on Valencia and Man City as they both try to qualify for the next round ahead of Porto and CFR Cluj.

The English Carling Cup played its first two rounds this month, and things went very smoothly for Brucie Bonus’s West Brom in the First Round, when they hammered Yeovil 6-1. They progressed to the Third Round with a 4-1 away victory over Nottingham Forest after extra time. Mark Cator’s Aston Villa had a fun time in the Second Round, smashing Brighton 6-0, and Ricky Nakano’s Middlesbrough beat Walsall 4-0. The scoreline for Tim Aubel’s Fulham was closer, as the American’s team beat Burnley 1-0 at the Cottage. Bolton also progressed, and will travel to Eastlands next to face Man City. Aston Villa will host Chelsea and one of the other matches of the Third Round. Arnold J. Rimmer’s Bolton side are not faring too well in the little Premier League action we have seen, they picked up a point at home to Hull, but lost to both Man City and Everton convincingly.

The Community Sheild and the European Super Cup we have already mentioned, but in Italy, Ben Cee’s Inter claimed the plate after a 3-2 victory over cross-town rivals A.C. Milan. And in Spain, Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona achieved a comprehensive victory over Valencia, with the final score 3-0 after both legs.

Now a look into Italy to conclude the update. bermybhoy's Atalanta are 4th, as one of four teams on four points. His team beat Empoli 2-1 at home but the away trip to Parma saw them come home with just a draw. Parma, incidentally, are one of those four teams on four points. Cardio Vascular’s Genoa are further down in 8th, after beating Lazio 2-0 at home but experiencing an unfortunate 3-4 loss away to Fiorentina.

The season has begun, but it gets into full swing next month. Stay tuned for plenty of football action!

Manager of the Update
This month I shall give this to;

Bryan McGuiness, Everton

although there were many managers in contention. Pushing Everton back into the forefront of English fans’ minds was McGuiness’s achievement this month, and he did that by playing well and challenging in the Premier League, and progressing in Europe. It is a shame for Cool Manager to miss out after his 14-0 demolition of FC Moscow, and the award could also have gone to Lord Weeman, who won his last three matches 3-0 to sit top of Serie A. Brucie Bonus made a good start to his Championship and Carling Cup campaign, and both Andre da Conceiçao and Lucas Volman won silverware, as did Haowan Madridstas. There were some other managers who were a bit further away from winning, but did very well nonetheless.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Secure        1150
     - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Secure        1150
     - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Secure        1150
   4th m1234566778          Maz Armley          Racing      Stable        1150
     - Waghlon              Lars Tommersen      Villarreal  Stable        1150
     - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        1150
     - BenArsenal           Ben Cee             Inter       Stable        1150
     - ssestig              Theo Stigarakis     Catania     Stable        1150
     - bermybhoy            bermybhoy           Atalanta    Stable        1150
     - JSalter              James Salter        Reggina     Stable        1150
     - Greasy Chip Butty    Andy Morton         Sporting    Stable        1150
     - Chimpos              Phill Ewles         Valladolid  Stable        1150
     - spartans5            Lawrence Lazewski   Valencia    Stable        1150
     - el sid               Cool Manager        At. Madrid  Stable        1150
     - TaylorB              Ben Taylor          Fiorentina  Stable        1150
     - Lower Leagues Rule   Jonte Rhodes        Lazio       Stable        1150
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        1150
     - mikeytwigge          Mikey Twigge        Palermo     Stable        1150
     - Martin_              Martin Bojangles    Hull        Stable        1150
     - Almondo              Arnold J. Rimmer    Bolton      Stable        1150
     - hasdgfas             Tim Aubel           Fulham      Stable        1150
     - tadr                 Andre da Conceiçao  Chelsea     Stable        1150
     - ~Ian~                Bryan McGuinness    Everton     Stable        1150
     - SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham   Stable        1150
     - rancer890            Ricky Nakano        Middlesbro  Stable        1150
     - Cardiovascular       Cardio Vascular     Genoa       Stable        1150
     - super_lampard        Super Lampard       Lecce       Stable        1150
     - IlikeJellybeans      Jellybean Man       Numancia    Stable        1150
     - clrkaitken           Clark Aitken        Roma        Stable        1150
     - markcator3006        Mark Cator          Aston Villa Stable        1150
     - fergysafc            Liam Ferguson       Man City    Stable        1150
     - Walcott’s Wonderkids Brucie Bonus        West Brom   Stable        1150
  33rd Neji                 Neji Hyuuga         Deportivo                  999
  34th Jack Rudd            Lisa Jeffries       Juventus                   925
  35th pnefc22              Wobill Luman        Betis                      889
  36th AtilasMiserly        Will de Mote        A.C. Milan                 882
  37th JoeLatics            Joe Gleeson         Espanyol                   873
     - Blanco               Cristobal Blanco    Recreativo                 873
  39th ian_1982             Maurice Jobson      Man United                 852
  40th Ridleys              James Ridley        Siena                      843

[Lower Leagues Rule]

Hmmmm no mention, still stable, but 32% of my games are draws, I love it.

[rancer890]

I got a mention for doing (nearly) absolutely nothing in the transfer window. Keep up the average-ness Boro!

And KUTGreatW canvey!!

[super_lampard]

Not a great start in the league, but at least we are into the europa league group stage

[spartans5]

No mention in that update, so can't be too bad

[hasdgfas]

Nothing much happening at Fulham, but at least I beat Burnley

[Walcott\'s Wonderkids]

Brucie Bonus has rung the changes at West Brom - got rid of all the dead wood and high wage earners hopefully for a half decent price and can now start to rebuild for the Premiership next season.

Good start to the League Cup campaign!

Delighted to see the chairman keep the faith with BB despite relegation, hopefully it can be repaid this season!


KUTGW

[PluckaDuck]

Looking really good, no sign of being sacked any time soon!

KUTGW!

[Almondo]

Not doing too well at the start of the season. Rimmer better buck his ideas up

[m1234566778]

Another good win.

'mon Racing.

[bermybhoy]

Solid start to the season right there. Keep winning at home and I'll be happy.

[tomsmith1989]

What a terrible month. 8th in the league is not where I want to be. Not happy with the sale of Arshavin for £3.6m. Also lost out on the Community Shield. I think that is my least favourite update so far.

Despite that, keep up the good work!!

[el sid]

An absolute 14-0 thrashing of FC Moscow
No manager of the month though, I demand a recount

keep it up canvey

[el sid]

Just had a quick check of who's posted in here, and aside from canvey who obviously has the most posts, 2nd to 6th posters are separated by just three posts.

I'm 4th, one behind the joint 2nd (el sid and LLR).

Keep posting everyone!

You posted that just to get to the same number of posts didn't you?

[BenArsenal]

You posted that just to get to the same number of posts didn't you?

Well not anymore I don't.

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jul 08 James Salter, Reggina
  Aug 08 Lawrence Lazewski, Valencia
  Sep 08 Clark Aitken, Roma
  Oct 08 Clark Aitken, Roma 
  Nov 08 Leo Dodge, Tottenham 
  Dec 08 Maurice Jobson, Man United
  Jan 09 Bryan McGuinness, Everton
  Feb 09 Robert Boyle, Blackburn
  Mar 09 Brucie Bonus, West Brom
  Apr 09 Neji Hyuuga, Deportivo
  May 09 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 09 Jonte Rhodes, Lazio
  Jul 09 Wobill Luman, Betis
  Aug 09 Liam Ferguson, Man City
  Sep 09 Lisa Jeffries, Juventus
  Oct 09 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 09 Lisa Jeffries, Juventus
  Dec 09 Cool Manager, Atlético Madrid
  Jan 10 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 10 Super Lampard, Lecce
  Mar 10 bermybhoy, Atalanta
  Apr 10 Lawrence Lazewski, Valencia
  May 10 Will de Mote, A.C. Milan
  Jun 10 Will de Mote, A.C. Milan
  Jul 10 Super Lampard, Lecce
  Aug 10 Leo Dodge, Tottenham
  Sep 10 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 10 Mikey Twigge, Palermo
  Nov 10 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 10 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 11 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 11 Lawrence Lazewski, Valencia
  Mar 11 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 11 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  May 11 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 11 Super Lampard, Lecce
  Jul 11 Mark Cator, Aston Villa
  Aug 11 Bryan McGuiness, Everton

Top Ten – Games Lost

   Pos +- Username             Manager          Club        Lost Percent
   1st +6 IlikeJellybeans      Jellybean Man    Numancia      63 (50.0%)
   2nd -1 ssestig              Theo Stigarakis  Catania       62 (49.6%)
   3rd +3 Chimpos              Phill Ewles      Valladolid    60 (44.8%)
   4th +3 Walcott’s Wonderkids Brucie Bonus     West Brom     59 (42.8%)
     -  0 JSalter              James Salter     Reggina       59 (46.8%)
   6th -4 Martin_              Martin Bojangles Hull          57 (43.8%)
     - +1 markcator3006        Mark Cator       Aston Villa   57 (38.0%)
   8th NE Greasy Chip Butty    Andy Morton      Sporting      56 (44.8%)
     - -1 rancer890            Ricky Nakano     Middlesbrough 56 (42.7%)
  10th NE super_lampard        Super Lampard    Lecce         55 (36.4%)

[rancer890]

At least I made one top 10 list...

[SCIAG]

A 5-0 win, and Mario Gomez

[fergysafc]

At least I made one top 10 list...

[ssestig]

Rancer - Come back when you're nearer the top though

[Boris Dollar]

had a quick read through. Has anyone actually been sacked yet?

[PluckaDuck]

27 Managers have now been sacked, leaving only 33 left Boris!

[canvey!!]

This is the last of the updates involving the three ejected managers.

Update 39
Years: 3, Months: 39, Days: 1180

The month of September has passed, and the month of October is about to begin. First, let’s reflect on the month that’s just gone, starting firstly with the action in Europe.

Two games of the Europa League group stage are played in September, giving an idea already of who might be making it through to the next round. There are already small mountains to overcome for some teams in five groups: Group D, where PSG and Fenerbahçe have 6 points and Red Star Belgrade and Austria Wien none; Group E, where Ajax and Jonte Rhodes’s Lazio have 6 points with Panathanaikos and Hearts on none; Group G, where Olympiakos and Galatasaray both steam ahead with six, leaving Saturn Moskovskaya and Martin Bojangles’s Hull behind on none; Group I, where Rangers and Lars Tommersen’s Villarreal have six, Rapid Bucharest and Zürich none; and Group K, where Sporting CP and Super Lampard’s Lecce have six, Steaua Bucharest and Aris Salonika none. I won’t dwell on the other teams, but it’s safe to say they are still able to qualify with some ease.

Now let’s look to the Champions League, with a quick run-through of the group leaders. Liam Ferguson’s Man City sit atop Group A after wins over Valencia and Porto, scoring four goals in both. Another English side, Arsenal, lead Group B, after a narrow win in Ukraine against Shakhtar and a more confident 3-0 one at home to FC København. Group C is led by Real Madrid, who beat Standard Liege but drew away to Zenit St. Petersburg, and Ben Cee’s Inter top Group D, with 6 points from wins over Lyon and Besiktas. The next two groups, E and F, see none of our teams top, with Celtic and Bordeaux leading the way. In Group G, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese beat CSKA Moscow and CSKA Sofia, the latter 5-0, and Barcelona top Group H with 4-1 wins over both AZ Alkmaar and Benfica.

Now let’s look at domestic football, and it will come as a shock to find out which team sit top of the English Premier League. After 6 games, Roberto Mancini’s Portsmouth are in 1st place, with five wins and one draw. Joining them on 16 points are the two Manchester teams, but both Andre da Conceiçao’s Chelsea and Bryan McGuinness’s Everton have fallen away slightly, and have 13 points. Both won one, drew one and lost one this month, with Everton’s win and Chelsea’s loss coming from the same game, a 1-0 at Goodison. Everton lost away to the higher-placed Man City. West Ham follow in 6th place and they are followed by Leo Dodge’s Tottenham, who beat Wigan, drew with Liverpool and lost to Man United this month. Further down the table, Arnold J. Rimmer’s Bolton are in trouble in 18th place. This month was a tough one; away to Chelsea and Portsmouth, and at home to Arsenal, so it was actually a good performance for them to gain one point, drawing 2-2 with the Gunners thanks to goals from Steed Malbranque and El-Hadji Diouf. Brucie Bonus’s West Brom lead the Championship, winning every game this month. They also beat Cheltenham 3-1 to reach the Fourth Round of the Carling Cup.

Over in Spain, Numancia aren’t doing so well in their second division season. They are 8th, after having lost two and won two this month. Although Jellybean Man is currently Stable, a major increase in performance is likely to be necessary if he wants to keep his job. Maz Armley’s Racing have got off to a bad start in La Liga, and they hover over the drop zone in 16th place. Three draws and a loss were their reward this season, with four points picked up in the Europa League, and the fact that one of their draws came against Barcelona won’t offer much consolation for their fans. One place above them, a side that might be in danger of going down at the end of the season, are Phill Ewles’s Valladolid. They picked up four points this month but two 0-1 losses, the worse at home to Tenerife, will not make Ewles, or his employers, happy. All of our other sides are packed into the top half, which makes you realise how few managers we still have in Spain.

So perhaps it’s time to go to Italy, to start with the Italian Cup Fourth Qualifying Round. James Salter’s Reggina couldn’t overcome the difficulty of an away game to Sampdoria, and lost 0-1. Their league form has been a mish-mash: two wins and two losses this month, but a sneaky win away to Catania and a demoralising 1-4 home thrashing against Mikey Twigge’s Palermo were among them. Lecce suffered a similar fate to Reggina, losing 0-1 away, but Cardio Vascular’s Genoa reversed the odds with an extra time 1-0 away victory over Pisa. Napoli progressed, while Catania went out. In Serie A, Lord Weeman’s team still lead the way, having picked up nine points this month. Six of them came against two good teams: Atalanta and second-placed Udinese, but a loss to Roma has allowed Udinese and Ben Taylor’s Fiorentina to sneak up and level on 15 points. Fiorentina didn’t lose this month, winning all league games and not even losing in the Champions League where they picked up four points. Mikey Twiggeand Palermo are another side to win all their games, and they sit in 4th place, although the lost 0-1 at Goodison Park in the Europa League. Cardio Vascular is slightly further behind in 6th, and claimed 7 points from three league games this month.

Back to England now for a report on the Carling Cup. As I already mentioned, West Brom are through to the Fourth Round, where they will be joined by six more of our sides. Man City and Tom Smith’s Arsenal share the award for the biggest win from all our sides when they won 3-0 at home to Bolton and away at Derby respectively, although Frédéric Remola bettered them both by beating Plymouth 4-0 at the Stadium of Light. Mark Cator’s Aston Villa had themselves a nice little cupset as Chelsea came to Villa Park. Dimitar Berbatov, who is now looking like an inspired signing, put the Villains 2-0 up with two goals in the first half, one in stoppage time there, and Frank Lampard’s 68th minute goal was just a consolation. Bryan McGuiness’s Everton won at Fulham and Martin Bojangles’s Hull lost at Newcastle. Middlesbrough and Tottenham are our other two sides in the next round, where the two ties of the round are Aston Villa looking for another cupset as they host Man United, and Arsenal hosting West Brom.

I mentioned the success of both Super Lampard’s Lecce and Jonte Rhodes’s Lazio in the Europa League, but in Serie A they are not doing so well. Lecce are in 18th, cruising just inside the relegation zone, and look to be heading into another season of narrow escapes, or attempted ones at least. They lost all three games this month, and have two points. Lazio are 13th, trumping Lecce in three ways: being placed higher, earning five points this month, and earning three of those points away at Lecce. In between the two are Theo Stigarakis’s Catania, who lost three games this month, their two away games and the aforementioned home game against Reggina. In between, however, they picked up their form to win 4-2 over Frosinone, despite having lost 1-2 to them in the Cup Fourth Qualifying Round. The highlight of the First Round, by the way, will be Udinese hosting Juventus, although Lazio will have a tough time in hosting Napoli.

Manager of the Update
There were a number of good performances this month.

Brucie Bonus, West Brom;

gets the award for September because, as has been shown, it is not all that easy to get relegated and bounce straight back up. Bonus is looking to: this month he won every game, including that in the Carling Cup. Mikey Twigge’s Palermo was his closest rival, and was likely to have won it had it not been for a defeat at Everton. Ben Taylor and Cardio Vascular, as well as Liam Ferguson, were in the running this month, but an all-winning month from a team that is not as good as the competitors for the award means that Bonus clinches this bonus.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Secure        1180
     - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Secure        1180
     - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Secure        1180
   4th m1234566778          Maz Armley          Racing      Stable        1180
     - Waghlon              Lars Tommersen      Villarreal  Stable        1180
     - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        1180
     - BenArsenal           Ben Cee             Inter       Stable        1180
     - ssestig              Theo Stigarakis     Catania     Stable        1180
     - bermybhoy            bermybhoy           Atalanta    Stable        1180
     - JSalter              James Salter        Reggina     Stable        1180
     - Greasy Chip Butty    Andy Morton         Sporting    Stable        1180
     - Chimpos              Phill Ewles         Valladolid  Stable        1180
     - spartans5            Lawrence Lazewski   Valencia    Stable        1180
     - el sid               Cool Manager        At. Madrid  Stable        1180
     - TaylorB              Ben Taylor          Fiorentina  Stable        1180
     - Lower Leagues Rule   Jonte Rhodes        Lazio       Stable        1180
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        1180
     - mikeytwigge          Mikey Twigge        Palermo     Stable        1180
     - Martin_              Martin Bojangles    Hull        Stable        1180
     - Almondo              Arnold J. Rimmer    Bolton      Stable        1180
     - hasdgfas             Tim Aubel           Fulham      Stable        1180
     - tadr                 Andre da Conceiçao  Chelsea     Stable        1180
     - ~Ian~                Bryan McGuinness    Everton     Stable        1180
     - SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham   Stable        1180
     - rancer890            Ricky Nakano        Middlesbro  Stable        1180
     - Cardiovascular       Cardio Vascular     Genoa       Stable        1180
     - super_lampard        Super Lampard       Lecce       Stable        1180
     - IlikeJellybeans      Jellybean Man       Numancia    Stable        1180
     - clrkaitken           Clark Aitken        Roma        Stable        1180
     - markcator3006        Mark Cator          Aston Villa Stable        1180
     - fergysafc            Liam Ferguson       Man City    Stable        1180
     - Walcott’s Wonderkids Brucie Bonus        West Brom   Stable        1180
  33rd Neji                 Neji Hyuuga         Deportivo                  999
  34th Jack Rudd            Lisa Jeffries       Juventus                   925
  35th pnefc22              Wobill Luman        Betis                      889
  36th AtilasMiserly        Will de Mote        A.C. Milan                 882
  37th JoeLatics            Joe Gleeson         Espanyol                   873
     - Blanco               Cristobal Blanco    Recreativo                 873
  39th ian_1982             Maurice Jobson      Man United                 852
  40th Ridleys              James Ridley        Siena                      843

[BenArsenal]

No mention.

Doesn't matter. I'm still in it.

[super_lampard]

Doing well in the europa league, but i won't keep my job unless we improve our league form

[spartans5]

No direct mention, but a loss to Man City in the Champions League isn't ideal

[el sid]

Not mentioned, but still stable which will do for me

[Lower Leagues Rule]

Well a little behind my previous season in the league, but a great start to the Europa League to be sitting on 6pts having beaten the Scottish & Greek entries already. Glad to still be stable as well as we drop to the halfway point.

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jul 08 James Salter, Reggina
  Aug 08 Lawrence Lazewski, Valencia
  Sep 08 Clark Aitken, Roma
  Oct 08 Clark Aitken, Roma 
  Nov 08 Leo Dodge, Tottenham 
  Dec 08 Maurice Jobson, Man United
  Jan 09 Bryan McGuinness, Everton
  Feb 09 Robert Boyle, Blackburn
  Mar 09 Brucie Bonus, West Brom
  Apr 09 Neji Hyuuga, Deportivo
  May 09 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 09 Jonte Rhodes, Lazio
  Jul 09 Wobill Luman, Betis
  Aug 09 Liam Ferguson, Man City
  Sep 09 Lisa Jeffries, Juventus
  Oct 09 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 09 Lisa Jeffries, Juventus
  Dec 09 Cool Manager, Atlético Madrid
  Jan 10 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 10 Super Lampard, Lecce
  Mar 10 bermybhoy, Atalanta
  Apr 10 Lawrence Lazewski, Valencia
  May 10 Will de Mote, A.C. Milan
  Jun 10 Will de Mote, A.C. Milan
  Jul 10 Super Lampard, Lecce
  Aug 10 Leo Dodge, Tottenham
  Sep 10 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 10 Mikey Twigge, Palermo
  Nov 10 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 10 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 11 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 11 Lawrence Lazewski, Valencia
  Mar 11 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 11 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  May 11 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 11 Super Lampard, Lecce
  Jul 11 Mark Cator, Aston Villa
  Aug 11 Bryan McGuiness, Everton
  Sep 11 Brucie Bonus, West Brom

Top Ten – Goals Scored (Pr/G = Per Game)

   Pos +- Username      Manager            Club        Gls (Pr/G)
   1st  0 Haowan        Haowan Madridstas  Barcelona   427 (2.28)
   2nd  0 tomsmith1989  Tom Smith          Arsenal     402 (2.08)
   3rd -1 Romanista1994 Lucas Volman       Real Madrid 387 (2.09)
   4th  0 tadr          Andre da Conceiçao Chelsea     372 (1.97)
   5th +2 spartans5     Lawrence Lazewski  Valencia    347 (1.90)
   6th  0 fergysafc     Liam Ferguson      Man City    333 (1.97)
   7th +2 Waghlon       Lars Tommersen     Villarreal  323 (1.77)
   8th  0 el sid        Cool Manager       At. Madrid  312 (1.74)
   9th NE SCIAG         Leo Dodge          Tottenham   309 (1.77)
  10th  0 BenArsenal    Ben Cee            Inter       292 (1.74)

[rancer890]

No mention in the last update is a good thing. KUTGW.

[spartans5]

Just under 2 goals/game, that's not too bad

[fergysafc]

0 fergysafc Liam Ferguson Man City 333 (1.97

[Walcott\'s Wonderkids]

Manager of the month for Brucie Bonus

Great start to the season for West Brom.

KUTGW

[ScottT!]

Just spent a good half hour catching up with the last few pages. I'll admit that my interest waned somewhat when I got the boot from Sunderland but I'm delighted to see that I'm back in a job at West Ham! This doesn't affect my days/lives though does it? Still, nice to see my name still cropping up in posts. If it continues to do so, I'll keep reading/posting! Am I the only manager to have been re-hired? I'm sure you've probably mentioned that somewhere already of course!

Keep up the good work canvey!, this is a cracking sign-up. I'm sorry I stopped reading

[canvey!!]

Walcott's Wonderkids: Don't get your hopes up!
ScottT!: No, you're still out in your original finishing position despite being employed elsewhere. I can't actually tell you who has been rehired as I've played a few months further than this update and quite a few are reemployed at that point. dafuge, however, as you can see below, is the new Charlton boss.

Update 40
Years: 3, Months: 40, Days: 1211

The month of October has passed, and it has been a busy one. A chain reaction has caused two managers to bow out of the competition, while another of our former charges has reentered management, that is, ex-Torino manager dafuge now finds himself the head honcho at Charlton Athletic. The Englishman lasted 236 days at Torino, so he’ll be hoping for a better career in his homeland of England. However, a sign of a bad start could be the manager storming out two questions into his first Charlton press conference.

We’ll start in Spain, where Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid top La Liga. This month, they racked up two good away wins over Racing and Villarreal, then backing that up with a 2-0 home win against Tenerife. However, an away trip to Murcia saw the capital’s team lose 1-2. In between all this, an away cup tie to Universidad LP saw a 6-0 win. Madrid share their first place with Wobill Luman’s Athletic and Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona, all on 20 points. Barcelona’s month was slightly better, being concluded with a draw rather than a loss, although their cup game was certainly better, a 10-0 trashing of Badalona away. Trailing just behind the top three are Lawrence Lazewski’s Valencia, who had a good month save for an embarrassing 0-3 loss to second-placed Athletic. The team of ours most in danger are Lars Tommersen’s Villarreal, on 8 points, and they failed to win this month, in the league at least.

In Italy, Udinese top the table, but Cardio Vascular’s Genoa sit just behind. Udinese, under the management of Tyler Burrows, won three and lost one this month, although they suffered a 0-3 thrashing in the Champions League at Anfield. Genoa played five games and won four of them, going down 2-3 at home to Lecce. Early table-toppers Lord Weeman’s Napoli are in 3rd place, with as many points as Genoa, and the collected seven of the things from their four games. Both bermybhoy’s Atalanta and Theo Stigarakis’s Catania are in danger toward the bottom; both have 8 points and sit just above the bottom three. Atalanta collected one point from a possible 12 this month with Catania collecting three. bermybhoy is Very Insecure and could get fired very soon.

Over to England now, where this aforementioned chain reaction becomes unavoidable. Down in 19th place in the Premier League are Arnold J. Rimmer’s Bolton, who, after having finished 8th in their first season back in the top flight, are not coping so well in their second. Unfortunately for Rimmer, who had picked up his first win of the year this month, beating Stoke 4-1, this meant his job was untenable, and on the 29th October he found himself without a job. Rimmer becomes the 29th manager of ours to be fired or leave their job, and in quick succession came the 30th. With his team in 1st place in the Championship, blitzing through the month conceding just one goal in six games, Brucie Bonus mad the decision to jump ship to floundering Bolton. It seems like a mistake to me now, and it will probably seem like one come the end of the season. Whatever happens, it has ended Bonus’s participation in the sign-up due to his lack of loyalty to his brave Baggies.

Now onto the Europa League, in which just the one set of games was played this month. In that set, there were three 5-0 victories, one for Stuttgart against Legia Warsaw, one for Mikey Twigge’s Palermo against Rapid Wien, and one for Martin Bojangles’s Hull against Saturn of Russia. The biggest results elsewhere of our teams was that of Cool Manager’s Atlético Madrid, who beat Maccabi Haifa 3-0. A round of the Champions League was also played, with very little to write home about. Liam Ferguson’s Man City travelled to Romania to see off CFR Cluj 5-2, while Ben Cee’s Inter won 3-0 at home to Wolfsburg. This was overshadowed by the other result in Inter’s group, with Lyon thrashing Besiktas 5-0.

Sitting in a mid-table position that can not be described as comfortable in Italy are Clark Aitken’s Roma. The Canadian started the month well, beating Catania and Palermo, and then winning 2-0 in Belgrade against Partizan in the Champions League. However, away losses followed to Genoa and Fiorentina, endangering Aitken somewhat. Just above Roma, surprisingly, are James Salter’s Reggina, who collected two 1-0 wins at home to A.C. Milan and Juventus, but who also lost away to Genoa. In Spain meanwhile, the Spanish Cup played two rounds, with Jellybean Man’s Numancia going out in the first of them, on penalties away to Las Palmas. Las Palmas then beat Espanyol 4-1 in the First Leg of the next round. As well as the two big teams winning that was mentioned earlier, Lawrence Lazewski’s Valencia themselves got a 6-0 win, theirs away to Cartagena. Andy Morton’s Sporting, meanwhile, sneaked a 2-1 home victory against Recreativo, which will need to be consolidated in the second leg.

In the Premier League, as well as Bolton, Tim Aubel’s Fulham and Ricky Nakano’s Middlesbrough must try harder. They are both just four points off the drop zone, and this month Fulham won two and lost two of their four games, all by small margins. Middlesbrough did worse, drawing two and losing two. José Mourinho’s Manchester United top the table, with Liam Ferguson’s Man City second, after having picked up eight points this month. Chelsea are third with Leo Dodge’s Tottenham completing the top four. They won three games and draw their other one.

So, our number of managers has dropped to 27, and could be set to drop further with two of our managers in danger. Both of these are in Italy, a country which at present has more than its fair share of our managers. Only 7 remain in England and 8 in Spain. The competition is getting small, and the wheat is being sorted from the chaff.

Manager of the Update
There were many good performances this month, but I’ll give this award to;

Brucie Bonus, West Brom

for completing a perfect month but also for making the move of his dreams to Bolton, even if it wouldn’t be the move of anyone else’s dreams. Liam Ferguson and Leo Dodge both had good months in England, with Cardio Vascular and Ben Cee enjoying themselves in Italy, and Haowan Madridstas having a good month in Spain. It was difficult to give this award, but at least these near-misses have another shot next month!

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st JSalter              James Salter        Reggina     Very Secure   1211
   2nd Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Secure        1211
     - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Secure        1211
   4th tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        1211
     - m1234566778          Maz Armley          Racing      Stable        1211
     - Waghlon              Lars Tommersen      Villarreal  Stable        1211
     - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        1211
     - BenArsenal           Ben Cee             Inter       Stable        1211
     - ssestig              Theo Stigarakis     Catania     Stable        1211
     - Greasy Chip Butty    Andy Morton         Sporting    Stable        1211
     - spartans5            Lawrence Lazewski   Valencia    Stable        1211
     - el sid               Cool Manager        At. Madrid  Stable        1211
     - TaylorB              Ben Taylor          Fiorentina  Stable        1211
     - Lower Leagues Rule   Jonte Rhodes        Lazio       Stable        1211
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        1211
     - mikeytwigge          Mikey Twigge        Palermo     Stable        1211
     - Martin_              Martin Bojangles    Hull        Stable        1211
     - hasdgfas             Tim Aubel           Fulham      Stable        1211
     - ~Ian~                Bryan McGuinness    Everton     Stable        1211
     - SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham   Stable        1211
     - rancer890            Ricky Nakano        Middlesbro  Stable        1211
     - Cardiovascular       Cardio Vascular     Genoa       Stable        1211
     - super_lampard        Super Lampard       Lecce       Stable        1211
     - IlikeJellybeans      Jellybean Man       Numancia    Stable        1211
     - fergysafc            Liam Ferguson       Man City    Stable        1211
  26th clrkaitken           Clark Aitken        Roma        Insecure      1211
  27th bermybhoy            bermybhoy           Atalanta    Very Insecure 1211
  28th Walcott’s Wonderkids Brucie Bonus        West Brom                 1210
  29th Almondo              Arnold J. Rimmer    Bolton                    1208
  30th Neji                 Neji Hyuuga         Deportivo                  999
  31st Jack Rudd            Lisa Jeffries       Juventus                   925
  32nd pnefc22              Wobill Luman        Betis                      889
  33rd AtilasMiserly        Will de Mote        A.C. Milan                 882
  34th JoeLatics            Joe Gleeson         Espanyol                   873
     - Blanco               Cristobal Blanco    Recreativo                 873
  36th ian_1982             Maurice Jobson      Man United                 852
  37th Ridleys              James Ridley        Siena                      843
     - Chimpos              Phill Ewles         Valladolid
     - tadr                 Andre da Conceiçao  Chelsea
     - markcator3006        Mark Cator          Aston Villa

[BenArsenal]

Considering how often Italian clubs change managers IRL, I'm surprised so many of us are still around.

[super_lampard]

Quiet month for Leece obviously with no mention, still stable though

[dafuge]

I'm back \o/

[rancer890]

Come on Boro, stay out of relegation, but still stable for now.

[Lower Leagues Rule]

Nicely stable for Jonte Rhodes, just need to make sure I keep Lazio in mid-table once more.

[ssestig]

Not the best of months or seasons so far. Need to improve.

KUTGW Canvey.

[Greasy Chip Butty]

Sporting de Gijon seem to have had another steady start to the season. All good. Through in the cup and we were 3rd in La Liga for a game!

Hopefully, La Mareona are still loving me. (Sporting fans)

[Almondo]

Ah well fired but I had a good run.