60 to One

[canvey!!]

Update 197
Years: 16, Months: 197, Days: 5990

Our managers are on the brink of another milestone, that of 6000 days at the one club, but before they can move forward, we must examine their performances in November 2024, starting in jolly old England.

It was an improved month for Tom Smith’s Arsenal, but it wasn’t without imperfections, and plenty more of these months will be necessary before the Gunners can be considered to be in a desirable position. They currently sit 11th: Smith guided his team to victory over Ipswich, Sheffield United and Ben Cee’s Man City this month, but they drew 2-2 at Pride Park and also came out of the North London derby at White Hart Lane poorly. With just over ten minutes remaining on the clock, Francesc Fabrègas got Arsenal an equalising goal, nullifying the Spurs opener scored 17 minutes in. However, a minute later, Tottenham had regained the lead, and further goals in the 90th and 90+2nd minutes turned the result into a painful 1-4 defeat. Tottenham themselves are in contention for the Champions League places, while Liverpool and Chelsea run away at the top of the league.

It’s been another good month for Lucas Volman, and Real Madrid have a rather impressive seven-point lead at the top of La Liga, after twelve games. In fact, second-placed Valencia have played an extra match. In November, Real got one-goal away victories over Racing and, importantly, rivals Atlético, a 3-2 home win over Sevilla, and a commanding 8-1 home win over Athletic. They also secured passage to the Copa del Rey Fifth Round after beating Talavera 3-0 in their Fourth Round second leg. 6-0 was the overall score. Meanwhile, Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona are struggling, languishing in sixth place after draws with Zaragoza, Hércules and Valencia this month, a loss to Atlético and a sole victory over Málaga. They did, however, knock the stuffing out of Pájara Playas in their cup tie, winning 7-0 at home and advancing 12-0 on aggregate. Lars Tommersen’s Betis await them in the next round, while Real Madrid play Valencia, and, in a clash of the titans, Zaragoza play Atlético Madrid.

Another two games were played in Europe this month, but before we go to those, a different international fixture: Tim Aubel’s United States travelled to Costa Rica for the final game of their World Cup qualifying Second Phase. There, with two Jozy Altidore goals, they won 2-1, and so topped their group. They start the Third Phase at home to Trinidad & Tobago. Anyway, back to Europe, and the Champions League. Two of our teams are through to the next round, two aren’t. This month, Lord Weeman’s Napoli held Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea to a laudable goalless draw at San Paolo, before beating hapless visitors Bayer Leverkusen 6-0, with a hattrick from club favourite Vittorio Mattioli. Napoli are safely into the next round. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona drew two away games 1-1, at Werder Bremen and at Benfica. They are second, but, being the only team in the group with a positive goal difference and hosting FC Zürich next, they are likely to secure qualification with their next game.

Tom Smith ’s Arsenal breezed through the month in the Champions League. Firstly, they beat visitors Feyenoord 3-0, and then they travelled to Porto, and won what would be considered their most difficult match, 2-0. Naturally, they have secured progression, as have their Portuguese groupmates. And finally, Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid have yet to get themselves into that next round. This month, they drew 2-2 at home to Super Lampard’s Newcastle, before a surprising 3-0 win over A.C. Milan, who have already qualified. The Magpies travel to Giuseppe Meazza in their next game, while Real play at Zenit Saint Petersburg, and Volman’s side have a three-point advantage, so are likely to finish second in their group. Juventus, Lyon, Liverpool, Atlético Madrid, Inter and Bayern Munich have all qualified after five games.

In Italy, I’m afraid to say, the wheels have fallen off Napoli’s title wagon. A slump in form has seen Lord Weeman’s side drop to third, two points behind both Inter and A.C. Milan. In November, despite victory over dafuge’s Genoa at the start of the month, they picked up just four points, also drawing goalless at home to Frosinone. They lost an away game at A.C. Milan, and, in meeting Tyler Burrows’s Udinese at Friuli, lost 1-4. Udinese are fourth, and just two points behind the Neapolitans, after beating Catania and Fiorentina this month, as well as Napoli themselves, and drawing goalless away to Mikael Schøler’s Juventus, who are fifth. I also noticed that Schøler, who is coming up to the ten year milestone at Delle Alpi, has a son in Juventus’ reserve squad, a 21-year-old central midfielder called Jakob. Jakob made three senior appearances last year, averaging a rating of 6.83.

All that remains is for me to wish the managers a merry Christmas, and let them get on with the last ten days of their first 6000-day tenure in peace.

Manager of the Update
For the second month running;

Lucas Volman, Real Madrid

scoops this award. Volman won all but one game this month, a draw, guiding his team to twelve points from twelve in the league, and Copa del Rey progression. Tyler Burrows also had a good month, dropping just two points from twelve in Serie A, and that with a draw away to Juventus. Still, some spectacular results came Volman’s way this month, and this is (part of) his reward.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   5990
     - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   5990
   3rd tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        5990
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        5990
     - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        5990
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid

All Star Top Ten – Oldest Managers

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Age
   1st  0 Swafe           Saul Goode        Osasuna       Wales         65
   2nd -1 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid   64 *
   3rd +1 NepentheZ       Neppo Monster     Cagliari      Fiorentina    63
     - +1 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona     63 *
   5th +2 SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Roma          62
     - +2 ScottT!         Scott Tysoe       Sunderland    Rangers       62
     - +2 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter         Man City      62
   8th +2 Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis         60
     - NE TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Nottm Forest  60
     - +2 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese       60 *

[PluckaDuck]

A fantastic month from Udinese. More of the same would be great!!

[canvey!!]

Update 198
Years: 16, Months: 198, Days: 6021

6000 days is a long time. 6000 days ago in real life (from 29/12/2010), John Major was the UK Prime Minister, Bill Clinton was the US President, and “Love Is All Around” by Wet Wet Wet topped the UK Singles Chart, just about to reach two consecutive months at the top. Brazil had just won its fourth World Cup. 6021 days before the current date in the 60 to One savegame, sixty budding managerial talents were embarking upon their first jobs, taking the mantle of some of Europe’s top clubs. Now, just five of them survive in those jobs, and that’s a real credit: only two Prime Ministers have lasted longer than that, no Presidents have, and, of course, no single has enjoyed sixteen solid years at the top of the charts.

Without further ado, let us see how these managerial cherubim did in December 2024, starting in Italy.

It’s a return to the top of the pile for Napoli manager Lord Weeman. His side didn’t have a perfect month, with a home loss to Juventus accompanying victories over Catania, Fiorentina and Modena, but he still moves up to first place, after reclaiming a game in hand over both Inter and A.C. Milan, and with both those sides losing a game. Napoli sailed through their Coppa Italia First Round match against Livorno, winning 6-0. They drew 2-2 at Shakhtar in the Champions League, and so finish second in their group. Meanwhile, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese were on the other end of that humiliation, away to Cool Manager’s Inter, where they lost 1-6. However, bizarrely, Udinese had won at Inter earlier in the month, 1-0 in the cup, and so they advance to the Quarter Finals with a massive scalp under their belt. Udinese put in a respectable performance in each of their other three league games, winning 3-1 at Roma in a game that saw Leo Dodge sacked, beating Fréderico Canvey’s Sampdoria 4-0 and drawing with Palermo.

Regarding the Roma sacking, Dodge’s four-year tenure was cut short with his side 13th in Serie A. At the age of 63, Dodge is unlikely to stay in football much longer, and may simply retire rather than looking for another job. Besiktas manager Phill Ewles was drafted in as Dodge’s replacement, setting off a wicked chain reaction. Nottingham Forest boss Ben Taylor ended his spell at the club to manage in Turkey, after just 184 days, and Forest appointed Norwich’s Russell Slade. Norwich cherry-picked Plymouth’s Danny Mills, who started his career for the Canaries, and so the Pilgrims gave Sunderland player Andrew Driver his big break, and a chance to hang up his boots. Dodge’s dismissal wasn’t the only firing of one of our own in Italy this month: Fiorentina boss Neppo Monster, who had been enjoying his best tenure at a club yet, was sacked, just a month or two short of the 1000-days-in-charge mark. Marco Giampaolo, who had just been sacked from Catania, took over the reins.

“Has there been any movement, doctor?”
“No, Mrs Smith. Arsenal are still 11th in the Premier League.” And that’s not where Tom Smith wants to be (Incidentally, does anyone remember Mrs Smith’s name? If you look back to update 185, you will find that it is Margerita). In December, the Gunners twice had to cope with the bitter, bitter stench of defeat, losing as they did to both Chelsea and Newcastle, the latter a 0-4 drubbing at St James’ Park. They did beat Leeds and Aston Villa, but were held 1-1 away by an Everton team currently rife with problems. The Toffees are 18th, on their fourth manager of the year (2024, including caretakers), and with a not insignificant debt. It clarifies to some extent why Fréderico Canvey jumped ship. Anyway, enough about Everton; Arsenal did seal their Champions League group top spot in style with a 5-0 demolition of FC Nantes at the Emirates. Craig Robson netted twice, which brings me to;

The Craig Robson-o-meter

Goals this Month: 4

Total Goals: 61

Cost per Goal: £786,885.25

Arsenal have been handed a potential banana-skin of an FA Cup Third Round tie, away to Championship leaders Blackburn. Rovers are top of England’s second division by an almost imponderable thirteen points, and they could be unlucky for Smith’s side. There’s no prizes for identifying Chelsea versus Manchester United at Chelsea Stadium as the most delectable tie of the round. In other England news, Anglo-Greco-Basque manager Theo Stigarakis has been handed the sixth sacking of his career after he was forced to vacate his post at Leicester City, after a dull goalless draw at home to relegation fodder Southampton. This left the Foxes 16th in the league, and, while it was only four places below their predicted position, it was too close to relegation for David Morris and his board. Sheffield Wednesday manager Tony Mowbary replaced Stigarakis, with Paul Jewell taking the Hillsborough hotseat just 11 days after his sacking from the Hawthorns.

Lucas Volman ’s Real Madrid suffered their first defeat of the campaign this month, but they still hold a six-point lead over Lars Tommersen’s second-placed Betis at the top of La Liga. Although their match at title holders Zaragoza ended in defeat, Real beat Hércules, Málaga and Villarreal this month. They drew 2-2 at Zenit Saint Petersburg in the Champions League, which was sufficient for progress to the next round. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona played three games and went unbeaten, achieving victory against Alavés and against Las Palmas, but drawing at Villarreal. They topped their Champions League group by giving FC Zürich a 7-0 thrashing at the Nou Camp this month: the Swiss side finish nine points behind third-placed Werder Bremen, having picked up their only point in their home match against Madridstas’s men.

Of course, the natural evolution is the question of the Last 16 draw. It feels to me like two of our sides have got a virtual bye to the Last Eight, while the other two have colossal tasks ahead of them. Napoli face Lyon, while Barcelona meet Celtic. However, Tom Smith’s Arsenal play holders Bayern Munich, and Real Madrid play last year’s runners-up Chelsea. Other ties see two league holders against each other as Inter play Liverpool, while Spain’s champions Zaragoza play A.C. Milan. Benfica face Atlético Madrid in an Iberian encounter, while Mikael Schøler’s Juventus play Porto. European action resumes in February, where, in addition to the Champions League, the Europa League sees Man United, Man City, Newcastle, Rangers and Betis in action.

This update’s already pretty long, but I felt like giving you a stats-burst. If you want, you can say it’s in honour of breaching the 6000-day barrier. I took a look at the linguistic capabilities of our managers, and this is what I found out;

Managers speaking one language
English: Robert Boyle, Brettney Joven, Liam Ferguson, Scott Tysoe, Martin Bojangles
Spanish: Haowan Madridstas
Managers speaking two languages
English and Italian: Leo Dodge, Ben Taylor, Super Lampard, Bryan McGuinness, James Ridley, Neppo Monster, Lord Weeman
English and Spanish: Lawrence Lazewski, Maz Armley, Tim Aubel, Saul Goode
Italian and Spanish: Lucas Volman, Tyler Burrows
English and Portuguese: Tom Smith
Managers speaking three languages
English, Italian and Spanish: Cool Manager, Theo Stigarakis, Fréderico Canvey, Ben Cee, James Salter, Neilio
Danish, Italian and Spanish: Mikael Schøler
English, Italian and Turkish: dafuge
Managers speaking four languages
Danish, English, Italian and Spanish: Lars Tommersen
English, Greek, Spanish and Turkish: Phill Ewles

Therefore, languages by speakers:
English: 24
Italian: 18
Spanish: 16
Danish, Turkish: 2 each
Portuguese, Greek: 1 each

Haowan Madridstas is the manager who would have the most difficulty communicating, as he has a language barrier with 14 of the other 29 managers. Phill Ewles, Lars Tommersen, and any of those speaking just English, Italian and Spanish or just English and Spanish, will be understood by any of our managers. Phill Ewles wins my linguistic award, as not only does he speak four languages already, he moved to Roma this month to make a start on his fifth.

The transfer window opens next month, and with it comes a chance to save Tom Smith’s season. Until then, I hope that all our managers enjoy their Christmas presents. I hear Tyler Burrows got a pogo stick, after his last one was spoiled when his bacon man disintegrated on it.

Manager of the Update
Relucantly, this month’s winner is;

Haowan Madridtas, Barcelona

because I couldn’t find a better performance among our five managers. Barcelona played just four games and didn’t even win them all, but that was still the best performance of the month, especially considering their 7-0 win over FC Zürich.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   6021
     - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6021
   3rd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6021
     - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        6021
   5th tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        6021
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[BenArsenal]

Three languages.

Si! Ciao bella!

(That's all the Spanish and Italian I know IRL. )

I'm surprised nobody can speak French. Zout alors!

[PluckaDuck]

I do not speak English

[BenArsenal]

I do not speak English

I guess you speak no Americano.

[PluckaDuck]

Don't make me think of that song again....

[el sid]

6-1 win over Udinese But losing in the Cup

3 languages

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona

All Star Top Ten – Youngest Managers

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club  Age
   1st  0 canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Sampdoria      51
     -  0 fergysafc       Liam Ferguson     Man City                     51
     -  0 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus       51
   4th  0 Ridleys         James Ridley      Siena         Lazio          53
   5th  0 Neilio          Neilio            Almería       Italy          54
     -  0 Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Roma           54
   7th  0 Robert_296      Robert Boyle      Blackburn     Pompey/ENG u21 55
     -  0 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter          55
   9th  0 dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Genoa/ENG u20  56
     -  0 spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia                     56
     -  0 Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Man United     56

[canvey!!]

Update 199
Years: 16, Months: 199, Days: 6052

The end of the season is creeping ever closer, and, with it, Haowan Madridstas’s retirement. It has been three seasons since one of our five managers won their respective league title, but is all that about to change?

The situation in Spain would suggest that yes, it is. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid have built up an impressive nine-point lead at the top of La Liga, and, with the season creeping over its halfway point, they look like prime candidates for the title. This month, they dropped their sixth and seventh points of the campaign, but a 2-2 draw at Valencia is far from embarrassing. Real got wins over Alavés, Las Palmas, and, most importantly, over Barcelona. They suffered the excrutiating tension of two penalty shootouts in the Copa del Rey this month. Naturally, the first one they won (else they wouldn’t have had the second), after a 2-0 win at home to Valencia and the reversal away. The second, against Sevilla, however, they lost, after winning 2-1 away but losing by that scoreline at home. Sevilla will meet Atlético Madrid in the Semi-Final. Volman made one incoming transfer this month, signing Roma’s Romanian midfielder Vlad Pop for £8.5M. Andorra midfielder Miguel Oliver made way, signing for Recreativo for £4.7M, while young goalkeeper Daniel Carril joined Lorca for £22k.

Haowan Madridstas ’s Barcelona fell one place to seventh this month, and it doesn’t look like the Spanish manager will be leaving on a high. As well as the loss to Real Madrid, Madridstas’s side fell to defeat at Elche, were held at home by Betis, and mustered just one victory all month, away to 16th-placed Mallorca. Lars Tommersen’s Betis side seemed to be the bane of Barça’s existence this month, knocking the Catalonian side out of the Copa del Rey with their 3-1 home victory leading them through 4-3 on aggregate. After beating Racing, Betis find themselves against Getafe in the Semi-Final, and have a tangible opportunity to win Tommersen the first silverware of his career. Barcelona made a strangely low transfer spend, considering their predicament. 23-year-old Cameroonian goalkeeper William Nguimbat joined from Sevilla for £1.2M, but that was the only transfer made by Madridstas this month.

In Italy, also, there are signs that the title might be going to one of our five managers. There is a surprise team at the top of Serie A, and that team is Tyler Burrows’s Udinese. I told you it was a surprise team. The Andorran manager guided his team to a perfect start to 2025, beating Parma, Vicenza, Mantova and Livorno. Unfortunately, this was marred by a 0-1 extra time loss at home to the Mantovani side in the Coppa Italia. Burrows raised some funds this month, with the sales of cultured midfielders Roberto Benassi and Michele Mason to Palermo for £3.1M and to Man City for £12.75M respectively. No money left Burrows’s purse, unusually.

Lord Weeman ’s Napoli are second, which, although it isn’t first, isn’t undesirable. They are joint with Udinese on 45 points, but did of course lose at Friuli earlier in the season. In January, they beat Roma and Sampdoria and drew with Inter and Palermo. Their Coppa Italia tie went quite a bit better than Udinese’s, being a 4-2 win in Sicily against Palermo, with two goals from Portuguese winger Hélder Trindade. Mikael Schøler’s Juventus await Napoli in the Semi-Final. Weeman signed Inter’s Brazilian leftback Silva for £8.25M this month, while selling Davide Santon to Sunderland for £875k. Elsewhere in Italy, with his side 14th and thus underperforming by six places, dafuge had his contract terminated by Genoa. His 203-day tenure isn’t a record in ephemerality for him, but it just underlines his inability to stay in a job for very long. Excluding his 1847-day tenure at Besiktas, where it was virtually impossible to be fired, he has lasted an average of 342 days at each club. He still has his role at England under 20s, so he shouldn’t get too bored.

England, by the way, is where we shall head next. There has been a marginal improvement in Arsenal’s position this month, up one place to 10th, although just five points separate the Gunners from fourth place. In January, Tom Smith’s side beat Southampton and Sheffield Wednesday at home, and drew away to both Sunderland and Manchester United. A cupset was avoided against Blackburn in the FA Cup Third Round, as the Gunners ran out 3-1 victors at Ewood Park, and the London club proceeded to beat visitors Hull 5-0 in Round Four. They travel to St James’ Park for the Fifth Round, the location of their 0-4 hammering in December. Smith made one signing this month, but it was a big one: ambitious defender Chris Miller arrived from Maz Armley’s Leeds for £19.75M. Mentally and physically, Miller is strong, but he lacks some technical ability. That being said, he has strengths in some key technical defensive areas, such as a ‘Marking’ attribute of 19. 23-year-old right winger David Doyle left for Q.P.R. for £210k.

Ben Cee has been busy this month, readjusting his Man City squad in huge swathes. Seven players, including Julio Samaniego, Bobby Hall and Roman Cerny, left the club for a combined total of £78.7M, and a further £220k was raised with an outgoing loan. Cee made three big signings too; as well as Udinese’s Michele Mason, talented 25-year-old Middlesbrough winger Joe Ward arrived, as did Everton’s towering Spanish striker Diego Carrasco. The three signings cost a combined £42.25M, and bring Cee’s spend for the season to £118M. He leads the list of our managers’ career expenditure by over £100,000,000. With City, expected title challengers, sixth in the league and twenty points adrift of leaders Chelsea, Cee finds himself Very Insecure.

There is less than half a year to go until we go down to four managers, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t happen sooner. What awaits for our managers? The only way to find out is to keep reading!

Manager of the Update
There were two unbeaten managers this month, but neither of them will get this award. Instead;

Tyler Burrows, Udinese

takes it home. He has taken his side to the top of Serie A with four wins from four in the league this month. The Coppa Italia was a blip, although Burrows can use the Mantova winner two minutes from the end of extra time as an excuse. Lord Weeman didn’t do too badly, but fell away from pole position, while Tom Smith’s month might have been welcome at any other time, but now represents four points lost instead of eight points gained.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   6052
     - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6052
   3rd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6052
     - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        6052
   5th tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        6052
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese

All Star Top Ten – Highest Fee Spent

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club  Player                Fee
   1st +6 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid   Keith Smith#       £52  M *
   2nd -1 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal       Craig Robson#      £48  M *
   3rd  0 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter         Carmine Bernini#   £40  M
   4th -2 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona     John Heitinga      £37.5M *
   5th -1 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter         Man City      Cristiano Ronaldo  £30.5M
   6th -1 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea       Carlos Vela        £27  M
   7th -1 fergysafc       Liam Ferguson     Man City                    Michael Essien     £26.5M
   8th NE Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Roma          Marco Bertacchini# £22.5M
     -  0 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli        Lauri Dalla Valle  £22.5M *
  10th -1 SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham                   Mario Gómez        £21.5M

[dafuge]

Another job gone

[BenArsenal]

Back to what I'm doing best: wheeling and dealing.

Can't believe I bought C.Ronaldo though.

[Romanista1994]

Been performing quite well lately. A nine point lead and 4 manager of the month this season.

[canvey!!]

Update 200
Years: 16, Months: 200, Days: 6080

Our managers have done it: they’ve reached that two hundred month milestone at just one club. It’s time to open a bottle of bubbly, I’d say!

Udinese and Napoli continue to top Serie A, and they seemed to be joined at the hip. Both teams picked up ten points this month, with Tyler Burrows’s leaders beating Rimini, Atalanta and Lazio, and drawing with A.C. Milan, and Lord Weeman’s Napoli beating Parma, Vicenza and Rimini, and drawing with Mantova. They both have 55 points, with third-placed A.C. Milan a win away on 52.

Compared to earlier months, February has been one of the worst of Real Madrid’s league campaign. Lucas Volman’s side, however, still top La Liga by eight points. They beat Mallorca and Recreativo, but were held to draws at Betis and at home to Elche. I wouldn’t worry too much if I were Volman, though. Meanwhile, Haowan Madridstas's Barcelona didn’t have a terrible month, but they still sit adrift in sixth place. They beat Deportivo, Athletic and James Salter’s Murcia, but lost at Recreativo thanks to a 90+4th minute winner.

Of course, European football resumed this month, with the first leg of the Champions League Last 16 ties. Tom Smith’s Arsenal are in trouble, after a 1-4 defeat in Bavaria against Bayern Munich. Real Madrid’s 2-1 home victory over Chelsea also might see them eliminated. For Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona, the picture looks brighter: they drew away to Celtic, and are optimistic of victory in the home leg. Lord Weeman’s Napoli fought off the challenge of visitors Lyon to win 2-1. In the Europa League, Scott Tysoe’s Rangers lost 1-4 on aggregate to Mantova, but all of our other managers progressed to the Last 16. Panathanaikos versus Olympiakos is the highlight of the round.

Hey, while we’re using that champagne to toast two hundred months of service, let’s celebrate a brilliant month at Tom Smith’s Arsenal. They shot up from 11th to 5th this month after winning all four games, including a sneaky victory at Anfield, the home of Premier League defending champions Liverpool. The Gunners also won a close battle at St James’ Park, advancing to the FA Cup Sixth Round 1-0. There, they’ll travel to Elland Road, where Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea lost their Fifth Round tie to Maz Armley’s Leeds. Liverpool meet Everton, while League 1 Crewe might see their cup run come to an end at the hand of Tottenham. Chelsea have a ten-point lead over Super Lampard’s Newcastle at the top of the Premier League, while Southampton and Sheffield United look to be getting cut off at the bottom. Aidy Boothroyd’s Blackburn command a massive seventeen-point lead at the top of the Championship, and have yet to lose a league match.

There was an international break this month. In Europe, teams played friendlies, although there was competitive action in North America. Brettney Joven’s England beat Nigeria 2-0 at Wembley, and the rest of the Dream Team also played Nigeria: Maz Armley’s under 19s won 3-0, Robert Boyle’s under 21s 4-0, and dafuge’s under 20s 6-0. 20-year-old Birmingham striker Peter Oakes bagged four goals in the latter match. Neilio’s Italy travelled to Turkey, and it took a goal from Udinese’s Francesco Banti three minutes from time to salvage a 1-1 draw. Saul Goode’s Wales also drew 1-1, at home to Germany, while Tim Aubel’s United States played Trinidad & Tobago in World Cup qualifying, and won 2-1 in North Carolina.

Once again, managers, congratulations on your impressive achievements of longevity. Here’s to another 100 months!

Manager of the Update
There were a few contenders this month.

Lord Weeman, Napoli

gets it for grabbing ten points from twelve in the league and for winning his Champions League match. He matched Tyler Burrows’s Serie A points haul, but had the advantage of European football. Tom Smith’s Arsenal had a very good league month, and did well in the FA Cup, but fell to a 1-4 defeat in the Champions League.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   6080
     - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6080
     - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Very Secure   6080
   4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6080
     - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Secure        6080
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli

All Star Top Ten – Highest Fee Received

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club   Player             Fee
   1st NE Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Man United     Keith Smith#    £52  M
   2nd -1 brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         England        Chris Heslop#   £32.5M
   3rd -1 Robert_296      Robert Boyle      Blackburn     Pompey/ENG u21 Redouane Bacha# £30  M
   4th -1 Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis          Giuseppe Rossi  £29.5M
   5th +5 SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham                    Davide Fabbri#  £29  M
   6th -2 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter         Man City       Freddy Adu      £27  M
     - -2 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese        Carlos Vela     £27  M *
   8th -2 spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia                     Michael Essien  £26.5M
   9th -2 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea        Mikel Arteta    £25.5M
  10th -2 m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Leeds/END u19  Adriano         £23  M

[PluckaDuck]

Surely this couldn't be the season when Udinese finally win a trophy????

[canvey!!]

Update 201
Years: 16, Months: 201, Days: 6111

It’s April 1st, but don’t worry; I wont be playing any pratical jokes on you. Instead, we’re going to jump right into the March report, with the knowledge that just a handful of games remain in the current season.

In England, just seven, and if Tom Smith’s Arsenal want to qualify for the Champions League, they’ll need to get an average of two points more per game than fourth-placed Newcastle. The Magpies, if they win both their games in hand, will lead Arsenal by 14 points. The Gunners are 7th after a poor month, which started with a humiliating 0-7 defeat at Robert Boyle’s Portsmouth. Arsenal then drew with Derby and Ipswich before winning narrowly over Sheffield United. They left the FA Cup after losing 1-2 at home to Leeds in their Sixth Round replay. Leeds meet Tottenham, while Portsmouth meet Liverpool in the Semi-Finals. In fact, Boyle’s Pompey are doing very well, sitting fifth, ten places above expectations, after picking up ten points from twelve this month. His former club Blackburn are also doing well, having just secured the Championship title, with six games to play.

Ben Cee ’s Manchester City met Martin Bojangles’s Manchester United in the Carling Cup Final this month. After neither team could score, the Red Devils won the match from the penalty spot. This saw Cee sacked after a mere 353 days at Eastlands. Former Italy boss Roberto Mancini was appointed as Cee’s successor. Meanwhile, after their manager Kevin Ball was pinched by Aston Villa, Sunderland hired Neppo Monster, and Valencia sacked their manager to be replaced by Raúl, who vacated his role at Fulham. Scott Tysoe took the Craven Cottage post, leaving Theo Stigarakis to take control of Rangers, his ninth club.

In Spain, Real Madrid’s eight-point lead at the top of La Liga remains intact, but they could have extended it with some better results. Unusually, they won both away games, against Deportivo and James Salter’s Murcia, but drew both home ones, against Getafe and Racing. Getafe, however, will be featuring in the Copa del Rey Final against Atlético Madrid, after they knocked out Lars Tommersen’s Betis in the Semi-Final. Meanwhile, Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona are twelve points adrift of the Champions League spots, and are plodding along in sixth place. This month, they beat Racing and Sevilla but lost to Getafe. Next month looks to be difficult, as Barça face trips to Zaragoza, Valencia and Atlético Madrid.

Champions League Last 16 second legs took place this month, and we managed to get three managers into the Quarter Finals. Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea beat visitors Real Madrid 3-0, and so knocked out Lucas Volman’s side 4-2 on aggregate. Barcelona, with four goals from Japanese forward Naoya Sato, went two better, beating Celtic 5-0 for a 6-1 aggregate win. Sato was has been in scintillating form recently, which brings me to;

The Naoya Sato-o-meter

Goals this Month: 6

Total Goals: 122

Cost per Goal: £161,885.25

Lord Weeman’s Napoli drew 1-1 in Lyon and go through 3-2 overall, while Tom Smith’s Arsenal thumped Bayern Munich 3-0 at the Emirates, and so advance on away goals. A.C. Milan lost to Zaragoza while their rivals Inter fell to Liverpool. Both Portuguese sides lost, Benfica to Atlético Madrid and Porto to Juventus. In the Quarter Finals, Barcelona meet Napoli while Arsenal face Mikael Schøler’s Juventus. Two fiery intranational matches see Liverpool play Chelsea, and Zaragoza play Atlético. In the Europa League, Man United and Fulham lost, leaving Lars Tommersen’s Betis facing Man City and Super Lampard’s Newcastle facing Panathanaikos.

Incredibly, not only do Tyler Burrows’s Udinese still lead Serie A, but they have moved a point ahead of title challengers Napoli. And that was with four away games this month: Udinese drew at Genoa but beat Frosinone, Modena and Fiorentina. Lord Weeman’s Napoli beat Livorno, Atalanta and James Ridley’s Lazio, but lost at Genoa. They did, however, get a good start in their Coppa Italia Semi-Final, drawing goalless at Juventus. Mikael Schøler’s side are third in the league, followed by Inter and then A.C. Milan.

March saw yet another international break. Brettney Joven’s England gave their World Cup qualifying chances a boost with a 3-0 win over Lithuania at Wembley, while two of the other members of the dream team also played the Baltic state: Robert Boyle’s under 21s beat them 2-0, and Maz Armley’s under 19s beat them 5-0 before a 1-1 draw with Portugal. The other squads play Portugal next month. Neilio’s Italy took top spot in their group with a 4-0 victory in Sarajevo, while Saul Goode’s Wales lost 0-1 in Cyprus, thanks to a penalty three minutes from time. The Welsh, however, are second in their group. A Jozy Altidore hattrick gave Tim Aubel’s United States a 3-0 win over visitors Cuba in their World Cup qualifying match, and the Americans lead the group alongside Mexico, with six points from six.

We’ll end this report with a little feature I like to call ‘Nostalgia’. For this, we will look two hundred updates ago to Update 1. Here, I’ll select a couple of paragraphs about our five remaining managers. See if you can spot any faces from the past (you will be able to).

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 1

It is difficult at this stage for any chairman to be able to judge their manager’s performance, although the job is made easier for those who have played competitive football. While every manager’s job is still Stable, the Chairman of Lord Weeman’s Napoli should be happy with a 8-1 aggregate win over Tavria Simferopol of Ukraine, the highlight being the 5-1 win away at Lokomotyv. This without any spend on the books must be the icing on the cake for the ‘Young and Talented Manager’.

~~ ~~

Super Lampard ’s Lecce made a significant loss, spending £2.2M on Ali Karimi as part of two transfers, and bringing in £180k resulting in a loss of £2.32M. Cardiovascular at Genoa spun a small profit of £16,000 with the sale of Mirko Lamantia, while also drawing 1-1 with Barcelona B, the A-Team managed by Haowan Madridstas with their 4-0 win over Deportivo B being the only highlight of July. Jonte Rhodes’s Lazio won one game 3-0 but lost the next 2-3, while Roma, managed by Clark Aitken, won 3-0 over Rio Ave, Portugal, in their only action of the 24 days. Rounding off the report, Tom Smith’s Arsenal played three pre-season games including a 4-0 win over Boreham Wood, while Andy Morton’s Real Sporting beat San Martín 7-0.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update
I don’t think there’s any doubt that;

Tyler Burrows, Udinese

deserves this award. He keeps his team as unlikely table-toppers, with ten points amassed from four away games this month. That’s a terrific achievement, so congratulations go to Burrows.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   6111
     - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6111
     - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Very Secure   6111
   4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6111
   5th tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        6111
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[BenArsenal]

Sacked, again!

CCB.

[PluckaDuck]

Fantastic month or the thunder from down under. I mean Andorra.

This really could be the season....

[el sid]

Rubbish season for Inter, hopefully we qualify for the CL

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese

All Star Top Ten – Longest Time at Current Club/Nation

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Days
   1st  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  6111 *
     -  0 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       6111 *
     -  0 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      6111 *
     -  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      6111 *
     -  0 Haowan          Haowan Madridstas Barcelona     Barcelona    6111 *
   6th  0 Swafe           Saul Goode        Osasuna       Wales        4313
   7th  0 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        3606
   8th  0 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     3558
   9th NE ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      1725
  10th NE Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis        1711

[canvey!!]

Update 202
Years: 16, Months: 202, Days: 6141

The end of the season is just around the corner, so let’s see how our managers did in April.

Amazingly, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese continue to lead Serie A, and they need only to hold out for four games to win it. Unfortunately, Mikael Schøler’s Juventus are just one point behind in second place, and have a game in hand. This month, Udinese lost to the Old Lady at home, in a match that might prove crucial as the season comes down to the wire. However, Burrows’s side got victories over Catania, Inter and Roma. They also travelled to Lord Weeman’s Napoli for a Serie A match. Weeman’s side struggled this month, losing to both Frosinone and Juventus, and drawing with Catania. They did, however, reach the Coppa Italia Final with a 1-0 win over Schøler’s side. They’ll meet Phill Ewles’s Roma. But in the match between Napoli and Udinese, who prevailed? No one. Mattia Silvestri put Napoli ahead after a minute, but Udinese levelled with a penalty a minute from the break. Two points from twelve this month saw Napoli slump to fourth, and A.C. Milan are ever so keen to overtake them.

Real Madrid’s position at the top of their table looks a lot more secure. Lucas Volman’s side have a ten-point lead, with only eighteen points available to second-placed Atlético. Real started the month with a draw at Sevilla, but then went on to beat Athletic, Atlético, Hércules, Zaragoza and Málaga, the latter a 6-2 away victory. Meanwhile, it has been twenty-two games since Barcelona moved more than one place away from 6th. That is where they currently sit, despite a number of dropped points this month, that number being eight. All in all, however, they coped pretty well with their fixture list in April, beating Málaga, Villarreal and Alavés, drawing with Valencia and losing to both Zaragoza and Atlético Madrid. Haowan Madridstas has just 84 days before his retirement, and he is probably already securing the purchase of his Caribbean island.

International sides mostly played friendly matches this month, including three England Dream Team matches against Portugal. Brettney Joven’s senior squad won 2-1, Robert Boyle’s under 21s won 5-0, as did dafuge’s under 20s. Saul Goode’s Wales flew to Argentina, where they lost 0-1 to Gabriel Milito’s side, and Neilio’s Italy beat the visiting Tunisia 4-0. Tim Aubel’s United States won 1-0 in Costa Rica, and remain, along with Mexico, at the top end of their World Cup qualifying group.

Tom Smith ’s Arsenal are running out of time to get into the Champions League spots. However, given that the Gunners haven’t been in the top four since the first game of the season, they aren’t likely to do so. This month, they beat Tottenham and Everton at home, but lost to Man City and Chelsea away. They sit 6th, and with games against Newcastle, Leeds and Aston Villa in the next month, teams which sit 3rd, 8th and 12th respectively, they aren’t likely to pick up 100% of the available points. Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea have secured the Premier League title, with a 2-1 at Craven Cottage. It is McGuinness’s 10th title at the club. Sheffield United and Southampton were relegated this month, and Everton, Leicester, Derby or Fulham will join them.

The Champions League is reaching its closing stages, and just four teams remain in it, from the 76 that started off. But how many of those four are managed by our managers? In the Quarter Finals, Tom Smith’s Arsenal were eliminated by Mikael Schøler’s Juventus, after losing 0-1 both at home and away. The Gunners weren’t the only side to suffer a bit of an upset at home: Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona found themselves on the wrong end of a 0-4 defeat to Napoli at the Nou Camp. Lord Weeman’s side eased to victory with braces from both Hélder Trindade and Choco. Strangely, Napoli then lost at home, but Barça’s 2-0 win wasn’t enough to recoup the deficit, so Napoli progressed. In the other matches, Zaragoza beat Atlético Madrid 3-3 on aggregate, and Chelsea squeezed past Liverpool 3-2. In the Semi-Finals, Napoli managed to hold Chelsea to a 1-0 win at Chelsea Stadium, while Juventus drew 1-1 away to Zaragoza. Four teams remain in the Europa League, three of which are English. Holders Tottenham face Super Lampard’s Newcastle for a Final place, while Man City meet surprise package Mantova.

Let’s now take a walk down memory lane;

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 2

European action has also taken place, with Champions League games for Arsenal and Liverpool. Tom Smith’s Arsenal made a solid start to their 2008-09 European campaign, beating Vitória Guimarães 5-1 on aggregate, a 3-0 win at the Emirates slightly marred by conceding a goal at Estádio D. Afonso Henriques. Their manager hasn’t been very active in the transfer window as it ground itself virtually shut yesterday, with only a loan release to Crystal Palace. Jeremy English at Liverpool, raised £200k from the sale of Scottish youngster Gary Mackay-Steven to Blackpool on the transfer window’s final day, and despite lying only 15th in the Premier League with only 2 points, they beat Austria’s Rapid Wien with two 2-0 victories.

~~ ~~

Napoli, managed by Lord Weeman, also won their way to a victory of the same score in the same round of the UEFA Cup, the 2nd Qualifying, their opponents being Vojvodina from Serbia. With a 3-0 victory over bottom-placed Siena, they sit in second placed in Serie A, their only transfer being the loan release of a 17-year-old to Giugliano. Their fierce rivals, of which they have a lot, Roma, were challenging them for those high positions, having won 2-0 under the management of Clark Aitken. Udinese took up the last of the spots among the Spanish top four, with their Andorran manager Tyler Burrows having won 2-0 and spent no further on the £2.8M from last month. They also lost 0-1 to Liverpool in a pre-season friendly.

~~ ~~

Phill Ewles’s Valladolid lay just inside the cusp of the relegation zone in La Liga, having lost their first game 0-2 at home at the hands of Cristobal Blanco’s Recreativo. Tom Hamilton’s Mallorca lie just above Valladolid in 17th, having also lost 0-2, but having spent £650k on two late transfers, including Niko Kovac for £400k, with a further free transfer in of Stephen Appiah. Mallorca’s conquerers, Barcelona, lie 4th, with Haowan Madridstas, making no transfer impact expect the loaning out of two youngsters early in the month. However, an epic 8-0 win at the Nou Camp contributed to a 11-0 win aggregate win over Poles Wisla Krakow in the Champions League third qualifying round. Unbeaten in all competitions, including friendlies, and having conceded only three goals, the Spanishman’s team were looking formidable.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update
As the only unbeaten manager this month;

Lucas Volman, Real Madrid

gets this award. Real picked up sixteen points from the available eighteen, and have an almighty ten-point lead at the top of La Liga, which will probably see them secure the title next month.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   6141
     - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6141
   3rd PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Secure        6141
   4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        6141
     - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        6141
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[el sid]

Might actually get sacked at this rate

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid

All Star Top Ten – Shortest Time at Current Club/Nation

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Days
   1st +1 ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Rangers        36
   2nd NE ScottT!         Scott Tysoe       Sunderland    Fulham         38
   3rd +1 NepentheZ       Neppo Monster     Cagliari      Sunderland     51
   4th -2 TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Besiktas      147
   5th NE Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Roma          149
   6th NE m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Leeds         288
   7th NE brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         England       291
   8th NE m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        England u19s  292
   9th NE Neilio          Neilio            Almería       Italy         298
  10th -5 dafuge          dafuge            Torino        England u20s  299

[PluckaDuck]

This could finally be the time.... Boys need to jsut hold out and not make any slip-ups and the title, might, just might, be ours!!

Never anticipated an update so much. MON Udinese!!!!!!!!

[Chimpos]

Wow, I'm looking forward to my new start in Italy, back in a big league at last, and a cup final to look forward too.

I can't believe my linguistic skills though, but for winning the linguistic award can I just say

Thank You
Gracias
σας ευχαριστώ
teşekkür ederim, sağol
and soon to be grazie

[canvey!!]

Update 203
Years: 16, Months: 203, Days: 6172

So, the end of the season has arrived, and with it, the flurry of excitement that accompanies cup finals and league final-day showdowns.

We’ll start in England, where, unsurprisingly, Tom Smith’s Arsenal didn’t reach the Champions League spots, but they did finish fifth, which is the next best thing. In May, they did well to get victories over Aston Villa and Newcastle, before a final-day draw at Elland Road. Chelsea, Liverpool, Newcastle and Tottenham finished in the top four, while Everton joined Sheffield United and Southampton in relegation. Blackburn, as we know, won the Championship, with Crystal Palace and playoff winners Hull joining them. They needed extra time, but Rafa Benítez’s Liverpool won the FA Cup with a 1-0 victory over Maz Armley’s Leeds. Leeds didn’t get into Europe, however. Their manager played three games with England under 19s this month, winning all three, away to Russia and at home to both Belarus and Scotland. This sees them qualify for this summer’s European U19 Championship.

Over in Italy, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese’s title campaign was blown to smithereens at the death. This month, they lost at Sampdoria, drew at Palermo, and beat Parma, and that wasn’t sufficient to stop Juventus and Inter overtaking them, with Mikael Schøler’s side securing the Scudetto. Lord Weeman’s Napoli are fifth, after beating Fiorentina and Roma, drawing with Modena and losing to A.C. Milan this month. They did, of course, play the Coppa Italia Final.

Road to the Final – Coppa Italia

Lord Weeman’s Napoli met Livorno in the First Round, and thrashed their visitors 6-0. This sent them into the Quarter Finals to play Palermo, whom they beat 4-2 away. Phill Ewles’s first game in charge of Roma was their First Round tie against Rimini, which they won 2-1. They then beat Modena 4-0 in the Last Eight, and reached the Final on away goals after a 2-2 aggregate draw with Modena in the Semi-Finals. Napoli drew goalless at title winners Juventus, and won 1-0 at home.

I suppose Roma were technically at home for the Final, but that didn’t seem to award them any special advantage. The match was dull; very few attacking chances occurred, and it took a mistouch from Roma midfielder Luciano Liberti to give Napoli the lead in the 76th minute, his interception going straight past his own ‘keeper. Congratulations to Weeman on his 8th piece of silverware. And was there a chance for another?

Road to the Final – Champions League

Mikael Schøler’s Juventus started their Champions League campaign in Group C, which was far from easy: Zaragoza and Rangers were their groupmates, alongside MSK Zilina. Surprisingly, Juvé started with victory at La Liga champions Zaragoza, and that spurred on a run of victories, with the team only dropping points in their last game at Rangers, when qualification was secured. That was also their first goal concession. They reached the Last 16, where they were handed a favourable tie with Porto. The match in Portugal ended goalless, allowing Schøler’s side to progress with a 2-0 home victory.

Juventus’ compatriots, Lord Weeman’s Napoli, were drawn into Group A, which held its own difficulties: Chelsea were among their opponents. Bayer Leverkusen turned out to be the groups’ whipping boys, and Napoli beat them twice, also picking up four points from Shakhtar Donetsk and one from Chelsea. They qualified second, but still got a favourable tie, against Lyon, which they won 3-2 on aggregate. This put them into the Quarter Finals, where they faced Barcelona. Remarkably, they won 4-0 at the Nou Camp, and progressed despite a 0-2 home loss in the second leg.

Juventus also got a surprising away win in their Quarter Final, winning 1-0 at the Emirates. They followed this up with the same result at home, and so got the opportunity to play Zaragoza again in the Semi-Finals. They drew 1-1 in Spain and won 2-0 at home, sealing their Final place. Napoli faced Chelsea, and were optimistic after holding Bryan McGuinness’s side to a 1-0 victory at Chelsea Stadium. Napoli advanced 2-1 on aggregate.

It was a return to Olimpico for Napoli, who had played the Coppa Italia Final there two games ago, and for Juventus, who had played a Serie A match against Roma there two games ago. Still, it was a convenient journey for fans, and that’s fortunate, as the Final wasn’t exactly a classic. A poor challenge from Juventus’ Northern Irish defender Peter Heron twenty-five minutes in, poor in that it got neither the ball nor the man, allowed Finland captain, and Lord Weeman’s biggest ever purchase, Lauri Dalla Valle to strike the ball into the net from just inside the penalty area. Juventus never threatened too much, and any chance of an equaliser pretty much evaporated when leftback Antonio Annunziata, who has been mentioned four times in 60 to One history, twice for giving away penalties, got a second yellow card. Another 1-0 Final win, and we must congratulate Weeman on his 9th piece of silverware.

Staying in Italy for just a moment, journeyman dafuge got his ninth chance to manage a club to greatness, being appointed by Palermo, who fired their manager in January. Mikey Twigge won Palermo the Europa League, and Neilio used the club as a base for his appointment as Italy’s first foreign coach in 60 years, and, exuse my cynicism, I don’t think dafuge will be doing similar things. I wish him luck nonetheless.

And now returning to Europe: Man City manager Roberto Mancini made himself an instant favourite by lifting the Europa League with a 1-0 victory over erstwhile holders Tottenham in Wrocław. Adam Pepper scored the only goal of the game after fifty minutes.

It’s time to conclude this report, at least the non-nostalgic bit, in Spain. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid ended their seven-year wait for the La Liga title, securing it without any style, by having it won for them by Alavés holding Zaragoza to a draw. Having said that, it isn’t fair to trivialise Volman’s hard work this month and throughout the season: in May, Real thrashed both Valencia and Villarreal, before themselves drawing with Alavés. 25-year-old Argentine striker Emanuel Páez was in particularly fine form, scoring seven goals. That brings me to;

The Emanuel Páez-o-meter

Goals this Month: 7

Total Goals: 86

Cost per Goal: £84,302.33

Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona can finish no higher than 6th, but at the same time, are guaranteed Europa League football. This month, they beat Mallorca, drew with Hércules and Las Palmas, and lost at Lars Tommersen’s third-placed Betis. Barça are 7th with a game to play. Málaga have been relegated from La Liga, with two from Sevilla, Villarreal and Athletic joining them. Atlético Madrid won the Copa del Rey on penalties after a 1-1 draw with Getafe at the Bernabéu.

Time for a big injection of nostalgia, I say.

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 3

In Spain, only one team has failed to win so far, that being Getafe, managed by Englishman Joe Seddon. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona lie below expectations in 5th place, and have also started their Champions League Group Stage abymslly, losing 0-2 to Zenit St. Petersburg. Elsewhere in the Champions League, Clark Aitken’s Roma have brought themselves to two wins, over Cool Manager’s Atlético Madrid and Jeremy English’s Liverpool. The Mersyside team also lie in 15th place in their domestic league, their worst result of the month being a 0-2 loss away to Whoopy Dee’s West Ham. However, they did progress to the League Cup 4th Round after a 2-1 win at St. Andrews.

~~ ~~

A.C. Milan have started their UEFA Cup campaign successfully, beating Standard Liege 3-0 in the First Leg of the First Round, hosted in Italy. Will de Mote’s team have started solidly in Serie A, yet a loss in one game has cost them as they are in 5th place. With a game in hand, however, and a 3-0 win over Theo Stigarakis’s Catania, they are looking to power into touching distance of their defeators Roma. Sampdoria, another Italian side in the European competition, started well with a 2-0 win over Hibernian, Da Hoover Man’s team winning at Easter Road Stadium, yet Lord Weeman’s Napoli lost their first leg 0-1 to FC København.

~~ ~~

Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid, tying in with last month’s Super Cup defeat, had a poor start to their Champions League campaign. While they conquered Shakhtar who visited from Ukraine, a trip to Germany in the form of a tie against Schalke 04 ended in a 1-4 defeat. Andre da Conceiçao’s Chelsea team have started their Champions League campaign in style with a double-whammy win, 1-0 over PSV and 3-0 away to Panathanaikos.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update
There have been some thoroughly satisfying conclusions to seasons. The most satisfying, undoubtedly, will have been for;

Lord Weeman, Napoli

who took his team to Coppa Italia and Champions League glory this month. Those two cup wins seem to overrule pretty much everything else, everything else being Lucas Volman’s coup of the La Liga title, basically. Credit to Volman, but even more to Weeman.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   6172
     - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6172
     - PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Very Secure   6172
   4th weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        6172
     - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        6172
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[canvey!!]

Tables to come next month

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli

All Star Top Ten – Highest ‘Longest Time at a Club’

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Longest at   Days
   1st  0 SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Tottenham    3800
   2nd  0 TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Fiorentina   3442
   3rd NE spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Man City     2937
   4th -1 fergysafc       Liam Ferguson     Man City      Man City     2783
   5th -1 JSalter         James Salter      Reggina       Reggina      2710
   6th -1 Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Aston Villa  2591
   7th -1 Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Olympiakos   2532
   8th -1 m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Sevilla      2504
   9th -1 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter         Inter        2502
  10th NE brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         Leeds        2446

[dafuge]

Have faith, I'm sure I'll be taking Palermo to world domination

Or probably not

[canvey!!]

Update 204
Years: 17, Months: 204, Days: 6202

You might think that, with the season virtually over in our three countries, this report would be a month off. That isn’t the case, far from it, and the reasons for that will soon become apparent.

Firstly, however, let’s look at how our managers in Spain and Italy concluded their seasons. El Classico ended the La Liga season, and it must have been quite annoying that it didn’t really mean anything. Actually, that isn’t true, and is in fact far from the truth. It was the last match perennial adversaries Haowan Madridstas and Lucas Volman would play against each other, with Madridstas to retire next month. The two managers’ handshake at the end turned into a consolatory hug which brought tears of nostalgia to one’s eyes. Barcelona won the game 3-1, but that wasn’t really too important. Volman announced his own retirement after the match; he intends to stay just one more year at the Bernabéu.

Speaking of retirement, stalwart Wales manager Saul Goode ended his career this month. Why he timed his departure to fall four days before a crucial match against Portugal nobody really knows, but the caretaker manager was able to get a 2-2 draw, while new manager Christian Johnson, who is nearly as old as Goode, guided the team to a 1-0 win in Belgium in his first game. Goode’s 12-year service to his national team won’t be forgotten, and he is of course Wales’ longest-serving manager, and got them into more tournaments than any other.

In Italy, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese finished their season well, with a 3-0 win at Vicenza, which saw them finish third. Lord Weeman’s Napoli lost 0-1 at Fréderico Canvey’s Sampdoria, but they were always going to be in next year’s Champions League anyway. Speaking of next year, Italian fans are already looking forward, and the papers have made their customary tip of A.C. Milan to win the title. Napoli are expected a climb to fourth and Udinese a fall to fifth, while Ascoli and Empoli, both newly-promoted, are tipped relegation. Cagliari, however, are believed to be capable of avoiding it, with Vicenza candidates for the drop instead.

Now it’s time for some international football. There was the Confederations Cup in France, but before we get to that, there was the little matter of World Cup qualifying. In Europe, Brettney Joven’s England won 3-0 in Kazakhstan and 2-1 in Scotland, with captain Craig Robson scoring two goals overall. Neilio’s Italy drew in Norway before a 3-0 away win over Armenia. In North America, Tim Aubel’s United States’ campaign took a turn for the worse, with 1-2 defeats to both Guatemala and Mexico

Okay, then, it’s Confederations Cup time. Brettney Joven’s England featured in Group A, alongside Ghana, New Zealand and France. England started in a controlled manner, with a 1-0 win over Ghana, before beating New Zealand 3-0. With qualification assured, they drew 2-2 with also-qualified France, with Sofiane Feghouli scoring both French goals, his third and fourth of the tournament. England topped the group, presumably by the drawing of lots. Group B saw Tim Aubel’s United States competing against Spain, Australia and Argentina. The Americans started poorly, losing 0-2 to World Champions Spain. Then, however, they beat Australia 3-1, before drawing their final game 2-2 with Argentina. Jozy Altidore got two braces, taking his all-time international goals total to 132. Unfortunately, Aubel’s four-point tally wasn’t good enough, both Argentina and Spain finishing on five. England met Spain in the Semi-Final, while France played the Argentines. England’s last meeting with Spain saw the Three Lions win 4-1, but that was under Liam Ferguson’s management. Under Joven’s, they did even better, thrashing the Spanish 5-0 in one of the most memorable nights ever in English football. Craig Robson got a hattrick as the three-times World Cup winners imploded. Regardless of the result in the other match, England would face a derby of sorts in the Final. It turns out France won it 2-1 with a goal from Bordeaux’s Alexandre Legrand in the 90+5th minute. The Final and Third Place Playoff take place next month.

A very good month for Brettney Joven, but what of the rest of the Dream Team? Maz Armley’s England under 19s played two friendly matches, winning 5-0 in Kazakhstan and drawing goalless in Scotland. 19-year-old Birmingham striker Stephen Hayward was in fine form, scoring four goals against the Kazakhs. dafuge's England under 20s played the first game in their U20 World Cup group stage. For some reason, even though Poland are the hosts, not all games are in Poland. England travelled to Ghana (although let’s pretend they didn’t) and won 3-0. Robert Boyle’s England under 21s played in the under 21 European Championship in Portugal. They started poorly, losing their first group game 0-2 to the Czech Republic, but recovered with wins over Ukraine and Portugal. This put them into the Semi-Final, where they beat Spain 2-0, and then came another match against the Czech Republic. However, Boyle turned the tables on the Czechs, and led England to a reversal of the scoreline earlier in the tournament. Portsmouth centreback Corey Watkins got both goals: talk about favouritism! Still, we must congratulate Boyle on his second U21 European Championship.

Football fans in England are looking forward to the new season. At long last, a team other than Manchester City have been made title favourites, with that honour going to Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea. Tom Smith’s Arsenal are expected to recover Champions League football with a fourth-placed finish, while Crystal Palace, Blackburn and Derby are all favourites for the drop. Newly-promoted Hull, having been taken over by a Greek tycoon last November, are tipped to finish eighth. Rafa Benítez’s Liverpool will finish third, say the papers, and that brings me on to some nostalgia.

You will notice that this is Update 204. That number is significant for one of our managers, Jeremy English. English was Liverpool manager for a short 204 days, but suddenly became England manager (it was so sudden I didn’t notice it for months), and lost his job there not-so-suddenly. His Liverpool tenure was ended in a poor month which saw FA Cup elimination to Bolton and a crucial loss to Manchester United, with Liverpool festering in the bottom half of the Premier League. English roamed about a bit, before becoming top dog with the national side, but his England team finished behind Saul Goode’s Wales in their 2014 World Cup qualifying group, and lost 2-3 to Russia in the playoff. Perhaps English’s endeavours look worse because his successors were good: Rafa Benítez succeeded him at Anfield, leading Liverpool to a Carling Cup win and a Champions League Final in that same season. Stuart Peace was the next England manager, and he won Euro 2016 and finished third in the 2018 World Cup. Still, English was overall a terrible manager, and pretty deserving of the honour of being fired first (Sorry!).

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 4

Unfortunately for Valencia, they have been knocked off the top of La Liga by Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid. Los Merengues won all three league games this month: the closest they came to an upset was a narrow 3-2 victory away over David Machine’s Athletic, who lie 17th and just above the relegation zone. They also had a comfortable result in Europe as Fenerbahçe came to visit in the Champions League, leaving after a 2-0 home win. Volman’s side had three 3-0 wins this month, two at home in the league and a third in the Spanish Cup Fourth Round First Leg, where they began the rout of Segunda División B islanders Fuerteventura.

~~ ~~

In other Champions League news for Spanish teams, Lars Tommersen’s Villarreal narrowly lost out 2-3 at home to Tom Smith’s Arsenal, yet beat Steve McLaren’s FC Twente 2-1 and lie 3rd, and Atlético Madrid lost 0-4 to Jeremy English’s Liverpool and sit bottom of their group. Despite this, things aren’t looking too rosy for English, as he sits in fear on the edge of his seat. A board takeover was completed, bringing in a Preston-born chairman in replacement of the Yanks, yet Dean Eaton may have his own plans for the management of Liverpool, and English’s job position is Very Insecure. He had an unbeaten month this month, sneaking him back into the top half, yet that included only one league win, over Martin Bojangles’s Hull, with two of the league’s most comfortable managers earning great draws against the Reds. Both of these managers are Very Secure, and Fréderico Canvey held Liverpool to a 1-1 draw at the Britannia yet didn’t win this month, yet Shazad Ali’s Newcastle earned a 0-0 at Anfield, winning a further two and losing one this month also.

~~ ~~

Every side has now won in La Liga, yet Getafe, managed by Joe Seddon, still remain bottom of the league with just 3 points. They lost 1-4 to Phill Ewles’s Valladolid yet beat Espanyol 2-1, the latter managed by Joe Gleeson. Gleeson’s side lie in 11th place but the match against Getafe was the only one they failed to win this month, their highlight being a 3-0 conquest of David Machine’s Athletic. Osasuna, managed by Welshman Saul Goode, lie just above Getafe, yet they lost all three league games this month, but came close against Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona, only losing 1-2 at home. Barcelona are 4th in La Liga yet have had an indifferent Champions League. While they defeated Werder Bremen 3-1, a 1-2 loss in Kiev sees them last in their group.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update
Some stellar performances this month, and some tear-jerking moments. It’s difficult to choose a winner, but I must so;

Robert Boyle , Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)

gets the award, for leading England under 21s to the U21 European Championship once again. Especially potent was a Final win against the Czech Republic, apt revenge for the Czechs beating England in their opening group game. Saul Goode was in the running for his epic tenure as Wales boss, while Brettney Joven made a nation ecstatic with an almost imponderable 5-0 win over Spain in the Confederations Cup Semi-Final. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese finished their season well, while Haowan Madridstas triumphed in an emotional El Classico.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona   Very Secure   6202
     - Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6202
     - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   6202
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        6202
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        6202
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[el sid]

Somehow ended up 2nd in the league after a dismal season

[PluckaDuck]

Sad to see a fantastic campaign have a pretty poor finish, but 3rd is still an absolutely fantastic achievement. MON the Zebra's!!

[canvey!!]

English Premier League Table
Italian Serie A Table
Spanish La Liga Table

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)

All Star Top Ten – Lowest ‘Longest Time at a Club’

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Longest at   Days
   1st +1 NepentheZ       Neppo Monster     Cagliari      Fiorentina    959
   2nd +4 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Deportivo    1182
   3rd +4 Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Villarreal   1230
   4th +5 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    At. Madrid   1263
   5th NE ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Catania      1405
   6th NE Ridleys         James Ridley      Siena         Sampdoria    1594
   7th NE ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Everton      1701
   8th NE hasdgfas        Tim Aubel         Fulham        Fulham       1705
   9th -6 canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Everton      1749
  10th NE dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Besiktas     1847

[canvey!!]

Update 205
Years: 17, Months: 205, Days: 6233

This month, former Manchester City and England manager Liam Ferguson declared his retirement from football. As well as winning two titles with Man City, Ferguson guided England to the European Championship during his six years in charge. We wish him well, but his, of course, wasn’t the only retirement this month. I think it’s apt to start this update with a lowdown of Haowan Madridstas’s stats.

  Highest Fee Spent      £37.5M (John Heitinga)
  Highest Fee Received   £17.25M (Diego)
  Players Bought         69 (£713M)
  Players Sold           74 (£278M)
  Players Released       31
  Time at Barcelona      6224 days
  
  Champions League wins  5 (2009, 2010, 2011, 2015, 2016)
  La Liga wins           5 (2011, 2012, 2014, 2015, 2016)
  Europa League wins     1 (2023)
  Copa del Rey wins      4 (2013, 2014, 2019, 2020)
  Spanish Super Cup wins 5 (2011, 2013, 2015, 2016, 2020)
  UEFA Super Cup wins    2 (2009, 2010)
  Club World Chmp wins   5 (2009, 2010, 2011, 2015, 2016)
  Total Silverware       27
  Awards Won             16
  
  Matches Played         1016
  Matches Won            666
  Matches Drawn          184
  Matches Lost           166
  Goals Scored           2457 (2.42p/m)
  Goals Conceded         946  (0.93p/m)
  Goal Difference        +1511
  
  Manager of the Update  26 times
  In Stats Lists         143 times
  Tops Stats List        59 times
  Months as Most Secure  141
  Times Mentioned        1928
  
  Hall of Fame Points    720 (10 Major Trophies, 5 Minor Trophies)
  Spanish Hall of Fame   1st by 160 points (2nd Miguel Muñoz, 560)
  Spain Hall of Fame     1st by 80 points (2nd Lucas Volman, 640)
  Europe Hall of Fame    2nd (1st Alex Ferguson, 817; 3rd Giovanni Trapattoni, 705)
  World Hall of Fame     As Europe

We say goodbye to a true legend, and wish him well in his retirement.

The Nou Camp post was filled by former United States, Bolton, Palermo, Celtic and Lazio manager Bob Bradley, who is actually older than Madridstas. But that wasn’t the only major appointment in Spain this month: after the national team’s 0-2 defeat to Argentina in the Confederations Cup Third Place Playoff, the Spanish FA sacked Quique Flores, exactly a year after his appointment. Former Stoke and Everton manager Fréderico Canvey was hired as his replacement. Former Udinese manager Pasquale Morino took the vacated post at Sampdoria.

So, Argentina finished third in the Confederations Cup, but the more important matter was the Final, where England met France. The match was actually very boring, a definite anti-climax to England’s 5-0 Semi-Final victory over France. It took a good goal for Brettney Joven’s side to take the lead, seven minutes from time, with Inter attacking midfielder Matt Hazell seeming to instinctively strike Craig Robson’s pass into goal from twenty yards out. Theo Walcott almost made it 2-0 a couple of minutes later, but he dawdled on the chance. Still, England held out, and claimed their first Confederations Cup title.

That wasn’t the only international tournament taking place this month. Tim Aubel’s United States took place in the North American Gold Cup, which they also hosted. They romped to victory in their group stage, beating St Vincent & the Grenadines 3-0, Panama 4-2, and Honduras 3-0. Jozy Altidore got four goals. This gave them a Quarter Final match-up with rivals Cuba, and the Americans won 2-1, with a winner two minutes from time from Québécois midfielder Guillame Nakajima-Farran. The Americans then played Mexico in the Semi-Final, and Nakajima-Farran struck again, this time a 72nd-minute equaliser. The Americans won 5-3 on penalties after a 1-1 draw. Aubel’s side play the Final against Costa Rica next month, while Mexico will play Guatemala in the Semi-Final.

Two of the members of the Dream Team were also playing tournaments this month. dafuge’s England under 20s were in Poland for their World Cup. Having beaten Ghana last month, they also got victories over Japan and Zimbabwe, which saw them top Group E. Australia awaited in the Quarter Finals, and although England’s lead was halved by an Australian goal a minute from time, they held out for a 2-1 victory. Next came Turkey, who were beaten 2-0. England met Brazil in the Final, and a goal from 20-year-old Badalona striker Alanderson just short of the hour mark was the only thing to separate the teams, leaving dafuge disappointed with his Runners-Up medal. Maz Armley’s under 19s were in Finland for their European Championship. They started with a 4-1 victory over Spain, but lost 2-3 to Germany in their second group stage match. They finished second in their group, beating Ireland 3-1 in the final game. Croatia were England’s Semi-Final opponents, and despite only leading 1-0 with ten minutes to go, England ended up as 3-0 winners. It was another match against Germany in the Final in Tampere, and the Germans took the lead after a quarter of an hour. Armley’s side, however, got revenge, running out 3-1 victors with three goals in the second half.

The transfer window opened this month. Lord Weeman’s Napoli were fairly busy: Weeman earned an impressive £44M, with the £33M sale of Brazilian fullback Sérgio to Mantova and the £11M departure of Slovakian centreback Eugen Nemec to Valencia. The Sérgio deal was simply Mantova buying half of the player back, but it was a cash cow nonetheless. Weeman bought one-and-a-half players, Valencia’s midfielder Cosimo Simoncini for £9M, and half of Lazio’s Senegalese midfielder Souleymane Sambou for £2.6M. Everton goalkeeper Rico Clark also arrived, on a free. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese made three signings; £3.6M was the pricetag of two centrebacks: Parma’s Sandro Benedetti and Zaragoza’s Luca Raffaelli, and Bolivia captain Diego Suarez arrived for £3.9M from Newcastle.

Tom Smith’s Arsenal made one flagship signing, buying Blackburn’s Irish central midfielder Paul Greaves for £10.75M. Australian defender Don Taylor left the club for Ipswich, netting Smith £1.8M, while both Henri Saivet and Theo Walcott left on free transfers, the latter straight to Neppo Monster’s Sunderland. Lucas Volman oversaw two big departures from Real Madrid: Czech midfielder Karel Vagner joined Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea for £9.75M, and Italian striker Giacomo Di Giuseppe left for Man City for £17M. In a smaller transfer, 21-year-old Spanish goalkeeper Rubén Bernal joined Linares for £140k. One new player arrived at the Bernabéu, Inter’s Paraguayan midfielder Héctor Merlo joining for £4.6M. Morgan Schneiderlin was the most notable player to be released from the club. Volman’s side are title favourites, tipped to beat Zaragoza and rivals Atlético to top spot.

Nostalgia time!

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 5

All of the English Big Four had troubles this month, although it was arguably Manchester United who had the least amount of them. Maurice Jobson guided his Red Devils team to a 3-0 victory over Celtic in the Champions League, a 4-0 victory over Watford in the League Cup and a 5-0 victory over lowly Wigan in the league. However, the Rwandan was unable to successfully leave the Emirates, where Tom Smith’s Arsenal won 2-1 with an Edwin van der Sar dismissal. A saving grace for Jobson may be that in tomorrow’s League Cup Quarter Final, they are at home to the London club. Smith, however, was not without his own problems. He promptly dismissed Steve McClaren’s FC Twente when they visited in the Champions League, but were pegged back 2-2 by a resilient Everton, and a trip to Craven Cottage didn’t go to plan, where they were handed a 0-2 defeat.

~~ ~~

Back to sunny Spain now and Lawrence Lazewski’s Valencia top the form charts without a loss this month. This includes a 4-0 home victory over Murcia in the Spanish Cup and a trip to Austria where a 3-0 win was upsetting for Salzburg. A 4-0 win over Recreativo was another highlight. Real Madrid, managed by Lucas Volman, were also unbeaten, including a 2-0 demolition of their opponents in Donetsk, a 5-0 Cup win over Fuerteventura, resulting in an 8-0 aggregate, and a 3-0 win over Maz Armley’s Racing. Two Spanish teams found themselves unable to win, but Sirus Lannock’s Málaga accumulated four draws whereas Getafe saw themselves to only two.

~~ ~~

Just four remain now. How long until we get down to the final three?

Manager of the Update
There were a number of candidates this month.

Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)

gets the award, for leading England to the Confederations Cup title for the very first time. Joven was challenged for the award by Fréderico Canvey, who got the Spanish national team job, by Tim Aubel, who took the United States to the Gold Cup Final, by Maz Armley, who won the European U21 Championship, and by Lord Weeman, who secured the £33M sale of half of one player.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6233
     - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   6233
   3rd PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        6233
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        6233
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[hasdgfas]

to the Gold Cup finals!

Sad to see Madridstas go, though. What a career.

[PluckaDuck]

Amazing career for Haowan, terrible to see him go

And then there were four....

[el sid]

Well done Haowan Only 3 to go...

[canvey!!]

Writer’s Notes: Vanilla, therefore, works out as the worst ice cream flavour.

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)
  Jul 25 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)

All Star Top Ten – Highest ‘Shortest Time at a Club’

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Shortest at  Days
   1st +2 Chimpos         Phill Ewles       Valladolid    Valladolid   1292
   2nd +2 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Liverpool    1242
   3rd +2 Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Hull         1241
   4th +2 spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia      Chelsea      1059
   5th +2 SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham     Man United    708
   6th +2 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Bologna       613
   7th +3 ScottT!         Scott Tysoe       Sunderland    Sunderland    501
   8th NE Ridleys         James Ridley      Siena         Fulham        353
     - -6 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter         Man City      353
  10th NE ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Man United    341
     - NE super_lampard   Super Lampard     Lecce         Parma         341

Lifespan – 5 to 10 Years

   Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days
   7th TaylorB              Ben Taylor          Fiorentina 3442
   8th fergysafc            Liam Ferguson       Man City   2783
   9th JSalter              James Salter        Reggina    2710
  10th mikeytwigge          Mikey Twigge        Palermo    2507
  11th BenArsenal           Ben Cee             Inter      2502
  12th super_lampard        Super Lampard       Lecce      2119
  13th Cardiovascular       Cardio Vascular     Genoa      2010
  14th Lower Leagues Rule   Jonte Rhodes        Lazio      1968

Lifespan – 2 to 5 Years

   Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days
  15th hasdgfas             Tim Aubel           Fulham     1705
  16th ~Ian~                Bryan McGuinness    Everton    1701
  17th rancer890            Ricky Nakano        Middlesbro 1614
  18th ssestig              Theo Stigarakis     Catania    1405
  19th bermybhoy            bermybhoy           Atalanta   1320
     - IlikeJellybeans      Jellybean Man       Numancia   1320
  21st m1234566778          Maz Armley          Racing     1288
  22nd el sid               Cool Manager        At. Madrid 1263
  23rd spartans5            Lawrence Lazewski   Valencia   1259
  24th Greasy Chip Butty    Andy Morton         Sporting   1244
  25th Martin_              Martin Bojangles    Hull       1241
  26th clrkaitken           Clark Aitken        Roma       1237
  27th Waghlon              Lars Tommersen      Villarreal 1230
  28th Walcott’s Wonderkids Brucie Bonus        West Brom  1210
  29th Almondo              Arnold J. Rimmer    Bolton     1208
  30th Neji                 Neji Hyuuga         Deportivo   999
  31st Jack Rudd            Lisa Jeffries       Juventus    925
  32nd pnefc22              Wobill Luman        Betis       889
  33rd AtilasMiserly        Will de Mote        A.C. Milan  882
  34th JoeLatics            Joe Gleeson         Espanyol    873
     - Blanco               Cristobal Blanco    Recreativo  873
  36th ian_1982             Maurice Jobson      Man United  852
  37th Ridleys              James Ridley        Siena       843

Lifespan – 1 to 2 Years

   Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days
  38th conners              Sirus Lannock       Málaga     628
  39th MikaelS              Mikael Schøler      Bologna    613
  40th Swafe                Saul Goode          Osasuna    551
  41st hamilton162          Tom Hamilton        Mallorca   509
  42nd kashmirshazad        Shazad Ali          Newcastle  508
  43rd DiscoStu94           Da Hoover Man       Sampdoria  501
     - ScottT!              Scott Tysoe         Sunderland 501
  45th canvey!!             Fréderico Canvey    Stoke      476

Lifespan – Less than 1 Year

   Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days
  46th corinthiano          Mathias Brunckhorst Chievo     327
     - Neilio               Neilio              Almería    327
  48th Robert_296           Robert Boyle        Blackburn  326
  49th brettney1980         Brettney Joven      Wigan      320
  50th TigerJoe             Joe Seddon          Getafe     271
  51st jack.browne          Jack Browne         Sevilla    250
  52nd NepentheZ            Neppo Monster       Cagliari   236
     - dafuge               dafuge              Torino     236
  54th KiddingChoc          Zach Machios        Portsmouth 235
     - Whoopy D             Whoopy D            West Ham   235
  56th d-machine            David Machine       Athletic   229
  57th PaulHartman71        Jeremy English      Liverpool  204
  58th Chimpos              Phill Ewles         Valladolid
     - tadr                 Andre da Conceiçao  Chelsea
     - markcator3006        Mark Cator          Aston Villa

[Chimpos]

Yay top of the Shortest Time at a Club League now. Only moving on when another country takes my fancy. I might not have had the most glittering mangerial career, but I bet there will be a lot of memories to look back on.

[BenArsenal]

Writer’s Notes: Vanilla, therefore, works out as the worst ice cream flavour.

I've always hated vanilla. I'm glad that it now has scientific justification.

[PluckaDuck]

Vanilla is the best

I only chose coffee to be different...

[canvey!!]

Update 206
Years: 17, Months: 206, Days: 6264

Writing the first update without Haowan Madridstas makes me feel like there’s a part of me missing. Perhaps the four remaining managers feel they same, as none has made a particularly good start to the 2025-26 season.

Tom Smith’s Arsenal, for instance, are 15th in the Premier League after three games. They beat Leicester this month, but lost to Ipswich and to Fulham. On the plus side, they beat Denmark’s FC Midtjylland 5-0 on aggregate in their Europa League Fourth Qualifying Round tie. Ipswich and Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea lead the Premier League, both on seven points. Chelsea also won the Community Shield with a 1-0 win over Liverpool.

In Spain, Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid sit 12th. They drew their first game of the season goalless at Getafe. They did, however, get a narrow but important 2-1 aggregate victory over rivals Atlético in the Spanish Super Cup, which is Volman’s twenty-sixth item of silverware.

After their first game of the season, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese sit rock bottom of Serie A. They lost their game 0-2 at home to Mikael Schøler’s Juventus. Udinese did, however, thrash their opponents in their Champions League Qualifying Round, winning 1-0 against Dinamo Kiev in Ukraine, and 6-2 at Friuli. Lord Weeman’s Napoli have yet to start their Serie A season, but they lost the Italian Super Cup 0-1 to Juventus, and won the UEFA Super Cup with a 2-0 win over Roberto Mancini’s Manchester City.

August was the last month of the transfer window, but our managers were pretty quiet. Lucas Volman and Tom Smith did some dealings, with 31-year-old left winger Steve Robertson leaving the Bernabéu for the Emirates for £2.5M. Real Madrid made a handful of smaller transfers, getting rid of seven players for a combined total of £2.76M. Lord Weeman sold 17-year-old leftback Giuseppe Bertoli to Bologna for £350k.

Tim Aubel’s United States played the Gold Cup Final at the start of this month. They looked to have the better of the match, but were unable to score, and it seemed that extra time would be necessary. It wasn’t: 23-year-old Costa Rican grey winger Eduardo Marín scored the winning goal for his country in the 90+4th minute, and for the first time since 2000, a nation other than Mexico or Canada won the tournament. The Americans also played a World Cup qualifying game, and they made up for two consecutive defeats with a 3-1 win in Cuba.

I don’t recall any year when we’ve had just three teams in the Champions League. Two of them got pretty unfavourable draws, but defending champions Napoli got an easy group: Porto might threaten, but matches against Slavia Prague and Panathanaikos should be a doddle. Udinese meet Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea, as well as Sporting CP and Spartak Moscow. Real Madrid meet Italian Super Cup winners and Serie A holders Juventus, as well as Newcastle, with Cyprus’ Anorthosi also competing. Inter versus Atlético Madrid is a notable group stage match-up.

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 6

There was good news for two of our managers this month as the English League Cup Quarter Finals were played. In one tie, Championship Reading ousted their fellow second-tier opponents Cardiff, while all of the others had Premier League managers in action for one of the season’s earlier pieces of silverware. However, it was not to be for Liam Ferguson, whose Manchester City team lost on penalties to Wolverhampton Wanderers. Jeremy English, in the middle of a mini-revitalisation at Anfield, knocked out Andre da Conceiçao’s Chelsea, while the other two Big Four teams were in action in the other tie, with Manchester United knocking out Tom Smith’s Arsenal.

~~ ~~

England weren’t the only country hosting a cup this month, and it is over to Italy where the First Round of the Italian Cup took place. Perhaps the best win of the round was that of Atalanta, manged by bermybhoy, who knocked out Ben Taylor’s Fiorentina away. There were convincing wins for Inter Milan, A.C. Milan and Da Hoover Man’s Sampdoria, while Lord Weeman’s Napoli squeaked past Mikel Schøler’s Bologna on penalties. Roma, Juventus and Mikey Twigge’s Palermo join these teams in the Quarter Final.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update
I wasn’t particulary impressed this month. Still;

Lucas Volman, Real Madrid

gets this award, for making a decent if not great start to his last ever season. Volman secured the Spanish Super Cup, and drew his first La Liga game. Meanwhile, Lord Weeman’s Napoli won the UEFA Super Cup, and Tyler Burrows’s Udinese thrashed Dinamo Kiev, but made a poor start to the league season.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6264
     - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   6264
   3rd PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        6264
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        6264
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[canvey!!]

Oops, I almost missed this - yesterday was 60 to One's second birthday.

Happy Birthday 60 to One!

[BenArsenal]

Happy birthday to this wonderful thread.

Even though I've been sacked (unfairly IMO).

[el sid]

Well done canvey

[Biscotti]

congrats Canvey!!

Considering how long some sign-ups last on this forum, it's great to see the amount of commitment you bring to your games

[PluckaDuck]

Two years is absolutely amazing!! My performance not so

Keep up the amazing work Canvey!! This is potential Hall of Fame worthy when finished

[Romanista1994]

Amazing stuff canvey !

Shame to see Haowan retire. Seems I'm going next, better make this last season count.

[canvey!!]

It seems a bit weird to be getting praise for commitment when I've been so unreliable of late!

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)
  Jul 25 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid

All Star Top Ten – Lowest ‘Shortest Time at a Club’

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Shortest at  Days
   1st  0 ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Portsmouth     90
   2nd  0 m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Blackburn     142
   3rd  0 dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Everton       145
   4th  0 JSalter         James Salter      Reggina       Sporting      153
   5th  0 hasdgfas        Tim Aubel         Fulham        Racing        166
   6th  0 Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Fiorentina    174
   7th  0 TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Nottm Forest  184
   8th  0 NepentheZ       Neppo Monster     Cagliari      Cagliari      236
   9th +1 canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Valladolid    285
  10th NE brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         Wigan         320

[coldkohmew]

KUTGW!!!
Saeson 4???

[canvey!!]

Update 207
Years: 17, Months: 207, Days: 6294

Our four managers are knuckling down at the start of the new season, so let’s see how they did in September, starting in Italy.

Lord Weeman’s Napoli sit top of Serie A after a great start to the season, and they even have a game in hand over second-placed Juventus. They started the month with a goalless draw at A.C. Milan, and then secured successive victories against Juvé, Modena, Palermo and Empoli. They also started their Champions League defence brightly, beating Porto 3-0. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese also went unbeaten this month, but sit in the slightly worse position of 13th. They beat Palermo, and drew with Modena, Empoli, Frosinone and Vinenza, scoring just one goal in those four matches. Their Champions League start has gone as expected: they lost at Chelsea Stadium but bounced back with victory over Spartak Moscow.

Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid haven’t made a bad start to the season, although they will have to work hard to keep up with pacesetters Zaragoza, who have already scored twenty goals, with just five games played. In September, Real beat Las Palmas, Valladolid, Hércules and Betis, and sit second on thirteen points. They, like Udinese, have played two of their Champions League group stages matches, and they drew 1-1 both at home to Juventus and away to Newcastle.

There was more international football this month, and we’ll start with World Cup qualifying. Tim Aubel’s United States booked their ticket to France this month with two narrow wins. They avenged defeat in the Gold Cup Final with a 1-0 home victory over Costa Rica, and matched that scoreline in a fixture in Trinidad and Tobago. Group leaders Mexico have also qualified, with Cuba guaranteed an intercontinental playoff place. In Europe, Neilio’s Italy continue to trail Greece, drawing in Athens this month before a 4-0 home win over Bosnia & Herzegovina. I would anticipate both Italy and Greece to get maximum points from their remaining two games, both at home, and so Neilio will need to make use of the playoff. Fréderico Canvey begun his attempt to recover Spain’s qualification campaign: his predecessor Quique Flores led the Spanish to defeat in Moldova and Austria. Canvey’s Spanish side won 2-1 in Slovenia, before a 2-0 home victory over the Austrians. Serbia lead the group, but Spain can recover their three-point lead in the group’s final game. Germany, who have won eight from eight, are the only side to have qualified from Europe at this point.

Brettney Joven’s England played just one game this month, but after it, the Three Lions’ qualifying campaign looks a bit healthier. The match was a 2-0 win over Ireland at Wembley, and the English have just a two-point deficit to chase with a game in hand over group leaders Scotland. With matches in Lithuania and at home to Kazakhstan, you can anticipate England taking six points and therefore topping the group. And what about the rest of the Dream Team? Robert Boyle’s under 21s played two games as they kicked off their qualification campaign for next year’s European U21 Championship, beating Lithuania 2-0 and Bulgaria 6-0. Maz Armley’s under 19s played Ireland in an U19 International, winning 3-0.

And now we’ll turn our eyes to the domestic football that took place in England this month. It’s been a poor month for Tom Smith’s Arsenal, which leaves you thinking that this season will be just like the last. They started with a 3-1 victory at home to Roberto Mancini’s Manchester City, but slumped to defeat at the same venue against Liverpool, and were humiliated by a 0-3 thrashing at Hull. They did manage to hold Martin Bojangles’s Manchester United to a goalless draw at Old Trafford in the Carling Cup Third Round, and, despite missing a penalty earlier in the match, advanced to the next round from the spot. There they’ll meet Chelsea, so don’t expect too much of a cup run. There will also be a Steel City derby in Round Four. In other Arsenal cup news, they were drawn into a favourable Europa League group alongside Galatasaray, Sparta Prague and FC Köln. They started their campaign with a 2-1 win in the Czech Republic.

What awaits you next month? Our four managers will play between three and five domestic games, with two matches in the Europa League, one or two in the Champions League, and the start of Real Madrid’s Copa del Rey campaign. World Cup European qualifying group stages conclude, and African, Asian and American qualifying will also conclude, with the exception of the intercontinental playoffs. Until then, however, I leave you with some nostalgia;

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 7

English teams weren’t the only ones bringing in players this month, although they were certainly brokering some of the larger deals. A.C. Milan manager Will de Mote agreed two co-ownership deals, from Napoli and from Palermo, totalling £36.75M. His rival Ben Cee, at Inter, spent £4M less on two deals, and one was a proper ownership deal, the £16.5M transfer of Gökhan Inler from Tyler Burrows’s Udinese. In Spain, the two giants bought big, with Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid giving CSKA Moscow £15M for Yury Zhirkov and Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona giving Boca £14.25M for Rodrigo Palacio. Atlético Madrid spent £8M on Cicinho from Clark Aitken’s Roma.

~~ ~~

They, by the way, still lead Serie A with a comfortable 10 point cushion over Juventus. They won three league games this month without conceding a goal, including a 3-0 victory over James Ridley’s Siena, yet Ben Taylor’s Fiorentina handed them a 0-3 thrashing when they travelled to Artemio Franchi. At the bottom of the table, Mathias Brunckhorst’s Chievo are tied with Neppo Monster’s Cagliari on 13 points, and both are five points behind Siena, with Catania safe just one point further ahead. Lord Weeman’s Napoli had a good month. As well as the cup victory already mentioned, the Englishman’s team dropped points only once when battling his fellow co-runner James Ridley away. He also made a £11.75M profit, all while signing Fábio Aurélio from Jeremy English’s team, twenty days before English’s departure.

~~ ~~

Over in Spain there is a close battle for first place, with no surprise as to who is involved. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid are currently edging ahead by one point, despite two losses this month. They faced Sevilla and Deportivo three times each this month, beating Neji Hyuuga’s Deportivo in the Spanish Cup Fifth Round but losing to them in the league and conquering Sevilla in both competitions. The other defeat came at the hands of Lars Tommersen’s Villarreal, at the Bernabéu no less. Málaga find themselves bottom thanks to Sirus Lannock’s leadership, yet the Englishman finds his job Stable. They didn’t score this month although they picked up a point with a surprising draw against Barcelona. Maz Armley finds himself Insecure with a poor showing this month, although they faced Tom Hamilton’s Mallorca three times and won in the league while progressing in the cup’s Fifth Round.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update
My pick this month is;

Lord Weeman, Napoli

after he took his team to the top of Serie A with thirteen points from a possible fifteen, dropping points only away to A.C. Milan. He pipped Lucas Volman to the post, after the Real Madrid manager had a good league month, winning all four games, but struggled in the Champions League: Napoli won their game 3-0 against Porto.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6294
     - tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   6294
   3rd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6294
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        6294
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)
  Jul 25 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli

All Star Top Ten – Players Bought (Number)

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club No
   1st  0 Neilio          Neilio            Almería       Italy       110
   2nd +1 ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Rangers     106
   3rd -1 canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Spain       103
   4th  0 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       93 *
   5th  0 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        92
   6th  0 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                      91
   7th  0 Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Man United   88
   8th +1 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      87 *
   9th +1 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      83
     - NE Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  83 *

[Chimpos]

canvery, any plans for the autobiography 'From Stoke to Spain, The career of a football manager', I'd buy it just for the title.

[canvey!!]

To be honest, I think Phill Ewles's autobiography would be more interesting!

Update 208
Years: 17, Months: 208, Days: 6325

Lord Weeman ’s Napoli are the only team in our three leagues not to have lost a game yet. They sit top of Serie A, of course, with a three-point buffer over Mikael Schøler’s Juventus. Cool Manager’s Inter, who picked up just two points from twelve this month, sit tenth. Napoli’s games in October saw them beat Frosinone and Sampdoria comfortably, 4-0 and 5-1 respectively, before a goalless draw at Vicenza. They then ended the month with a 2-1 victory over Phill Ewles’s Roma. In the Champions League, they won 4-1 at Slavia Prague, before getting only a narrow win in what could be considered their easiest game, beating Panathanaikos 1-0 at home. Still, it was a win nonetheless. Elsewhere in Italy, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese are ninth, having beaten Genoa and Inter this month, and lost to Roma. Their Champions League match ended level, a 1-1 home draw with Sporting CP.

This month’s El Classico was the first time in seventeen years that Haowan Madridstas didn’t feature. He, a couple of months into his retirement, watched from the stands as Bob Bradley’s Barcelona played Real Madrid at the Nou Camp. Barça edged the match 4-3, and what a match it was, and the Catalonian side sit top of La Liga. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid recovered well, winning 3-0 at Recreativo and 2-0 at home to Deportivo. They also thrashed Cyprus’ Anorthosi 7-0 away in the Champions League, and beat Cultural Leonesa 4-0 in the away leg of their Copa del Rey Fourth Round tie. Leonesa manager Álvaro Cervera has been in his job for a long while, like Volman, having been hired the week before our sixty managers were unleashed.

Although they are now one place higher than were when they started the month, Tom Smith’s Arsenal have had a less than desirable October. The Gunners opened with a home defeat to Leeds, before being held goalless at Robert Boyle’s Portsmouth. A narrow home win against relegation fodder Crystal Palace followed, before a 0-2 loss at Hillsborough. Clinical finishing saw Arsenal take hold of a home match against Middlesbrough, which Boro didn’t really deserve to lose, and run out 2-0 victors, but seven points from fifteen for Smith’s side is not the Champions League place form the board want. With that in mind, Smith is Insecure in his £245,000-per-week job. In the Europa League, they played two games at the Emirates, beating Galatasaray 3-0 and FC Köln 3-1, but they were never going to lose those.

Last month, I promised you international football, so I shall now give you it. Brettney Joven’s England finished their World Cup qualifying campaign in style, winning 4-0 in Lithuania and blowing Kazakhstan out of the water in Wembley with a 7-0 victory, with as many as six goalscorers (Craig Robson got two). Naturally, the Three Lions finished ahead of Scotland and qualified. Fréderico Canvey’s Spain also qualified, with 3-2 wins over both Moldova and Serbia seeing them through ahead of the Serbs. Neilio’s Italy won both their games, against Malta and Norway, but, as predicted, finished second and will have to play a playoff. Croatia, the Czech Republic, Russia, Poland and Portugal joined England, Spain, Greece and Germany in topping their groups and qualifying, while Italy will face neighbours Switzerland in the playoffs. Scotland meet Serbia, Denmark play the Netherlands, and Sweden meet Iceland. Wales finished second in their group but were the worst-ranked second-placed team.

In North America, Tim Aubel’s United States won their last two qualifying games, 1-0 in Mexico and 2-0 at home to Guatemala. Cuba join Mexico and the Americans in qualification, with Costa Rica entering the playoff, where they will meet Paraguay. The Paraguayans were beaten by Uruguay and by Chile to the remaining two South American automatic qualification places. Those two teams join Brazil and Argentina, who had already qualified. In Africa, Nigeria, Morocco, Tunisia, Cameroon and South Africa topped their groups and booked their tickets to France, leaving some bigger teams out. China beat Saudi Arabia 3-1 on aggregate in the Asian Playoff, and will meet New Zealand next month for a Finals place.

So that’s the World Cup to look forward to, after a few playoff matches, but there might be even more exciting things happening even sooner. All eyes turn to Arsenal, and chairman Tim Travis.

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 8

The Spanish Cup played the first leg of its semi final this month, and Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid trashed Osasuna 4-0, and Villarreal did that 3-0 to Valladolid. Despite a 4-0 5-0 2-0 2-0 streak, drawing with Espanyol and losing 1-3 at Anfield were lowlights this month. That was in the Champions League Knockout Round 1st Leg, and England were doing the romping, with all of the English sides winning. Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona won 4-1 against Celtic in Scotland, this went well with a great unbeaten month where they dropped only two points.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update
The only top-flight manager still unbeaten;

Lord Weeman , Napoli

gets the award this month. He guided his teams to league victories over Frosinone, Sampdoria and Roma, and Champions League wins over Slavia Prague and Panathanaikos. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid also did pretty well this month, scoring sixteen unanswered goals in the last four games of the month. This was after a 3-4 loss away in El Classico, which, while not too shabby, dropped them from second to third in La Liga.

Job Securities (Writer’s Notes: I don’t think this has happened before: no ties among job securities)

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6325
   2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6325
   3rd PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        6325
   4th tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Insecure      6325
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[el sid]

10th ffs Might be sacked at this rate....

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio,  Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)
  Jul 25 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli

All Star Top Ten – Players Bought (Value)

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Value
   1st  0 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                      £922M
   2nd  0 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        £851M
   3rd +2 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  £773M *
   4th -1 spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia                   £703M
   5th +1 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       £610M *
   6th +2 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      £534M *
   7th +2 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      £495M
   8th +2 SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham                  £373M
   9th NE MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     £360M
  10th NE Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Man United   £306M

[canvey!!]

Update 209
Years: 17, Months: 209, Days: 6355

Yes, it’s that time of year again, folks; our managers are opening the first windows on their Advent calendars. Of course, being the future, their Advent calendars are all on the iPad, but that doesn’t take away the sentiment.

We’ll start this report in Spain, where Real Madrid’s month has been more-or-less okay. In the league, Lucas Volman’s side picked up eight points from a possible twelve, winning home games against Mallorca and Tenerife, and drawing goalless in away games against Albacete and rivals Atlético. They secured cup progress with an 8-0 win over Cultural Leonesa, advancing 12-0 on aggregate. Albacete await in the Fifth Round.

Each team has just one Champions League group stage game to play, and already twelve of the sixteen spaces in the next round have been taken. One of them was filled by Lord Weeman’s Napoli, who drew 2-2 at Panathanaikos this month, before a 1-0 win in Porto. The Portuguese team are second in the group, but could lose out to Panathanaikos if they lose their final game in Greece. Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid also look likely to reach the next round, but need to be wary of a slip-up. They thrashed Anorthosi 9-0 this month, before a goalless draw at Juventus. Super Lampard’s Newcastle top the group and have qualified, and Real are second, with a three-point lead over Mikael Schøler’s Juvé. Schøler’s side will surely win their last game in Cyprus, but having said that, I would expect Real to get at least a point in their home match with Newcastle. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese will also be hoping for progression, although there is the chance that they will miss out. After winning at Sporting CP but losing at home to Chelsea this month, Udinese need to win at Spartak Moscow, and Sporting need to lose at Chelsea. Given that Spartak have picked up no points so far, and that Chelsea usually win at home, that is probable, but not certain.

So Udinese’s Champions League month wasn’t too bad, but how did they do domestically? Well, it turns out. Tyler Burrows led his side to victory against Cagliari, Catania and Ascoli this month, dropping points only with a draw at Rimini. This sees them shoot up five places to fourth as we approach the halfway stage. Next month, they play the Coppa Italia First Round, which means another match against Ascoli, at Friuli. Lord Weeman’s Napoli will face Catania, who coincidentally they have just played (this is not a coincidence at all). Their month could have gone better: they beat Catania, but drew with Cagliari and Genoa, and lost at home to Inter. They sit second, with Juventus two points ahead at the top.

It’s World Cup crunch time, folks, with just six places left in the competition. Costa Rica met Paraguay for one of them, but they lost both legs of their playoff 0-1. Meanwhile, China were held to a goalless draw in New Zealand, but thrashed their antipodean visitors 4-0 in Dongguan, with Leicester striker Zhang Xuewei, in his 101st appearance, bagging a hattrick. In Europe, Scotland performed confidently in their playoff against Serbia, winning 3-0 in Belgrade and 3-1 in Glasgow. Sweden and Denmark both won their home games, 1-0 against Iceland and 2-0 against the Netherlands respectively. A brace from Hamburg’s Johan Andersson gave the Swedes a 2-0 win in Reykjavík, and a 3-0 win overall, while the Dutch could only draw at home to Denmark, which meant 5-3 progression for the Danes. As for Neilio, his Italy side travelled to Switzerland. A brace from Udinese’s Francesco Banti and an own goal gave them a 3-0 win in the wind and rain of Bern, and they booked their ticket to France 5-0 on aggregate.

We’ll end in England, where it has been another torrid month for Arsenal manager Tom Smith. They lost 0-1 at Chelsea Stadium at the start of the month, and then could only grind out successive draws against Manchester United, Tottenham and Aston Villa. They did beat Sparta Prague 2-0 in the Europa League, but crashed out of the Carling Cup in the Fourth Round with a humiliating home loss to Chelsea: Bryan McGuinness’s side won 6-1 in front of a vehement Emirates crowd, with braces for John Fleck, for world-class midfielder Robin Ridley, and for Anglo-Nigerian striker Moses Abdulazeez. They will go on to face Sunderland, who are in a bit of turmoil. After losing to Ajax in the Europa League, Neppo Monster was sacked from his post at the Stadium of Light, and new manager Aidy Boothroyd has the task of lifting the Black Cats from 20th place and out of the relegation zone. They next play at home to A.C. Milan, before games against Chelsea, Arsenal and then Man City. Monster has his retirement set for next June, but he might call it a day a bit sooner.

Smith is in trouble, but he’s not alone, and isn’t even the least secure. With their teams sitting 11th and 12th in Serie A respectively, both Inter boss Cool Manager and Palermo manager dafuge are under pressure. Two of those managers are on very big salaries – they couldn’t possibly get sacked. Could they?

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 9

Tom Smith’s Arsenal are in second place, and they played two games this month, both of which were won by one-goal margins. Ricky Nakano’s Middlesbrough visited The Emirates where they were given a 2-3 defeat. Arsenal also progressed in the Champions League, our next focus of attention.

~~ ~~

Real Madrid lead the league by a whopping 10 points, and Lucas Volman won all four games this month, disregarding that Liverpool result in the Champions League. Behind him is Barcelona, and then Lars Tommersen’s Villarreal, who won three and drew one this month. They also progressed to the Spanish Cup final despite a second-leg defeat to Phill Ewles’s Valladolid, where they will face the titans of Real Madrid. Valencia, managed by Lawrence Lazewski, follow in fourth, but had an indifferent month but progressed in the UEFA Cup. Sirus Lannock’s Málaga are bottom, but it is where they are expected to finish and Lannock is Stable.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update
Plaudits for November go to;

Tyler Burrows, Udinese

after he led his side to a four-place rise this month, with nine points from twelve in the league. They lost to Chelsea in the Champions League, but won at Sporting CP, which isn’t easy. Lucas Volman might feel a bit hard done by, after he guided Real Madrid to big wins over Anorthosi, Cultural Leonesa, Mallorca and Tenerife, but there were some telling problems with three 0-0 draws this month, and his team still sit third, below where they want to be.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6355
   2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6355
   3rd PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese     Stable        6355
   4th tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Insecure      6355
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio,  Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)
  Jul 25 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese

All Star Top Ten – Players Sold (Number)

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club No
   1st  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid 114 *
   2nd  0 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter       101
   3rd -1 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                      98
   4th  0 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Udinese      94 *
   5th  0 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       88 *
   6th  0 m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing       Leeds/ENG u19 81
   7th +1 canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Spain        79
   8th -1 Neilio          Neilio            Almería       Italy        78
   9th +1 ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Rangers      77
  10th NE spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia                   74

[canvey!!]

Update 210
Years: 17, Months: 210, Days: 6386

And then there were three. You’ll have to wait to find out which manager finished 60 to One in fourth place, although you have probably already guessed.

We’ll start in Spain, with Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid. They still sit third, and trail the leading teams Zaragoza and Barcelona by two points. In December, they beat Elche and Alavés, drawing with Sevilla. Argentine striker Emanuel Páez, who scored one goal in each game this month, won both FIFA’s Footballer of the Year award and their Player of the Year one.

European group stages are complete, but how did they end? Real Madrid did qualify in the end, top of the group in fact. They beat Super Lampard’s Newcastle 2-1 at the Bernabéu, and Juventus’ 5-0 win at Anorthosi wasn’t enough to see Mikael Schøler’s side through. Tyler Burrows’s Udinese also got through, winning 4-0 at Spartak Moscow while Chelsea did the same at home to Sporting CP. Napoli finished their group with a 4-0 win over Slavia Prague, while their groupmates Porto qualified with a win at Panathanaikos. Ben Taylor’s Besiktas finished bottom of their group containing Lyon, Tottenham and Anderlecht. The Last 16 sees Real Madrid meeting two-times Europa League winners Tottenham, while Napoli play La Liga leaders Zaragoza. Udinese will meet Lyon. The biggest tie, other than Napoli’s, is probably Atlético Madrid versus Liverpool, while Theo Stigarakis’s Rangers meet Cool Manager’s Inter. In the Europa League, Arsenal won 1-0 at Galatasaray before losing 1-2 at FC Köln. They top their group, with the Germans also going through. The Gunners face a difficult Last 32 tie, against Sporting CP. If they can win that, they will play Hamburg or Anderlecht.

We’ll be heading over to England now, and I’m sure you’re on the edge of your seat in anticipation of that managerial departure. Tom Smith’s Arsenal were unable to beat relegation fodder Blackburn this month, drawing 1-1 at Ewood Park, but that’s all right, because they beat Sunderland and Derby at home and won 1-0 at St James’ Park. The Gunners have risen from 15th to 9th, and although they are not invulnerable to a plummet back down, Smith is safe for now. They start next month at Hull in the FA Cup Third Round, one of only two all-Premier League ties.

So what’s this managerial departure then? To answer that, we must head over to Italy, where the spotlight focuses on Phill Ewles at Roma. The polyglot boss hasn’t been doing too well, and, with a 0-3 defeat to dafuge’s Palermo which left Roma 12th in the league, he was sacked. So that leaves the inevitable question, who shall be his replacement? Meanwhile, at Napoli, Lord Weeman was enjoying himself. Although they were held goalless at home to Catania in the Coppa Italia First Round, they won through, and, alongside six league points from six this month, Weeman added a piece of silverware to his collection with victory in the Club World Championship. Napoli travelled to South Africa, where they met Japan’s Okayama FC in the Semi-Final. Weeman’s side ran out 4-0 victors, and matched that result in the Final against River Plate, with two goals from Hélder Trindade in the latter match. At Udinese, Tyler Burrows got a 4-0 win over Ascoli in the cup, before a league win at Parma and draw at Mantova.

Now, back to Roma. The board looked to a manager who had had 860 games’ worth of experience in Italy, and who took his side to third place in Serie A last season, five places above Roma’s own finishing position. That’s right; Tyler Burrows left his post at Udinese to take the Roma job. He finishes fourth in 60 to One, after his 6370-day tenure at Friuli. This set off a chain reaction of hiring: Udinese, with their £1M compensation, hired Portsmouth’s Robert Boyle for £800k, leaving a vacancy at Fratton Park. This was filled by James Salter, who brought his two-year spell at Murcia to an end in order to manage in the Premier League for the very first time. Murcia appointed Carlos Terrazas from Tenerife, and the islanders brought the chain reaction to an end by appointing unattached manager Javier Manjarín. Manjarín is notable for his success at Leicester, turning them into a regular top-flight fixture.

So, three remain. All the coffee ice cream lovers have gone, and just one manager remains in each league. The end is nigh, I tell you, the end is nigh!

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 10

While in England and Italy the gap between first and second is six points, in Spain, the position of Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid is a lot more secure. Although Barcelona have a game in hand, the Spanish Giants Real are 13 points clear. Just three more would make it inevitable, and whether that comes in their next game against Numancia, or by Barcelona squandering their game in hand, the Real Madrid fans won’t mind a third consecutive title. Just like English table-toppers Manchester United, Real Madrid suffered a 0-4 defeat this month, but with three wins and a draw too they managed a successful thirty days. Their close rivals Barcelona also lost, to Joaquín Caparrós’s Sevilla.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update
Everyone put in a good performance this month.

Lord Weeman , Napoli

wins this award, for lifting the Club World Championship title, while winning three of their four other games, and winning the fourth on penalties. It’s been a good month for Weeman, and Napoli are in the best of spirits. Meanwhile, Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid won three and drew one, Tom Smith’s Arsenal had a good month which keeps him away from imminent danger, and Tyler Burrows followed his heart in a move to Roma. It is worth noting that Smith hasn’t won this award for two years: Brettney Joven has won it twice since Smith last did, and she isn’t even competing any more!

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6386
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   6386
   3rd tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        6386
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese                   6370
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[PluckaDuck]

NO NO NO NO

Why, why, why? After all this time as well. Tragedy.

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)
  Jul 25 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli

All Star Top Ten – Players Sold (Value)

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Value
   1st  0 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                      £579M
   2nd  0 spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia                   £429M
   3rd +1 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        £428M
   4th -1 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  £394M *
   5th  0 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      £353M
   6th  0 weeeman272bob   Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       £352M *
   7th  0 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Roma         £319M
   8th +2 Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Man United   £299M
   9th NE SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham                  £277M
  10th NE m12345566778    Maz Armley        Racing       Leeds/ENG u21 £221M

[Chimpos]

Sorry Tyler Burrows, I can't help but blame my ineptitude for ending your long reign.

If I could have only won more with my Roma team you'd still have a shot at the title.

Oh well I wonder where my manager will turn up next? Borneo?

[PluckaDuck]

Hopefully American Samoa

[canvey!!]

Update 211
Years: 17, Months: 211, Days: 6417

So, onwards we roll with our three lonely managers. Let’s see how they did in January, which, as we know, is the month of transfers.

Lord Weeman ’s Napoli had a decent month, and they are still keeping in touch with Mikael Schøler’s Juventus. They won a home game against Mantova, and away matches against Parma, Sampdoria and Juventus themselves. They drew at Robert Boyle’s Udinese and lost at Lazio and at home to A.C. Milan. They travelled to Friuli for a second time this month for the Coppa Italia Quarter Final, where they beat Boyle’s side 1-0 with a Hélder Trindade goal. Tyler Burrows’s Roma await in the two-legged Semi-Final, while the other match sees a Milan derby. Napoli made no transfer moves this month, other than loaning a young defender to Birmingham.

Over in England, Tom Smith’s Arsenal dropped eight of the available fifteen points this month, so it is good that Smith took the pressure off last month. They lost games at both Leicester and Man City, drew with Ipswich and beat both Fulham and Hull. They also beat the Tigers in the FA Cup Third Round, 2-0 at the Circle, which put them into the Fourth Round to face West Brom at the Hawthorns. Neither side could score in that match, so the teams head to the Emirates for a replay. They are playing for the right to host Man City in the Fifth Round. Arsenal made one signing this month, but it was not insignificant. They brought in Hamburg’s 25-year-old Swedish striker Johan Andersson for £21M. Elsewhere in England, Liverpool boss Rafa Benítez left the club for the third time this month, given his marching orders with the Reds 7th in the league. This set off a chain reaction, bigger than last month’s: Zaragoza’s manager Marcelino García Toral moved to Anfield, and the Zaragoza vacancy was filled by Tottenham’s Jürgen Klinsmann. Martin Bojangles moved to White Hart Lane, leaving James Ridley to take the vacant post at Manchester United. Lazio hired Besiktas’ Ben Taylor as Ridley’s successor, and the Turkish side ended the chain reaction by promoting their assistant manager to manager.

We’ll head over to Spain now, where Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid have had a poor month and are beginning to fall away from the title race. They beat Murcia and Racing in January, but lost to Zaragoza, Valencia and Getafe, the last match at home. They did, however, experience little difficulty in breezing through two rounds of the Copa del Rey, beating Albacete 5-1 on aggregate in Round Five and Alavés 4-1 overall in the Quarter Final. They’ll meet mid-table Hércules in the Final Four, so a Final place is likely. Meanwhile, Zaragoza, who lead the league by four points, play sixth-placed Atlético Madrid. Volman made two signings this month: versatile Italian midfielder Raffaele Ingrassia joined from Tyler Burrows’s Roma for £8.75M, and young Spanish midfielder Miguel González arrived from Aston Villa for £27.5M.

As you know, there are just three managers left. This time two hundred updates ago, there were forty-eight. How did the managers end their first season at their new clubs?

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 11

We will start in Spain, where the first major event of the month occurred in the form of the bestowal of the Liga BBVA. With the foundations having been set over the previous months, all it would take for Lucas Volman in the first game of May was a win. His Real Madrid side were on the road to face Jellybean Man’s Numancia. Barcelona had a problem: time was running out to mount any attack on this Real Madrid side. They were at home to Neilio’s Almería, who faced their own problems: a rapidly disappearing place in the La Liga. Of course Volman and Los Galácticos won, 2-1, and despite Barcelona’s 3-1 victory over Almería, the championship would stay in Madrid. But before they could celebrate too much, there was work to do: they would face Lars Tommersen’s Villarreal in the Spanish Cup final the very next game.

~~ ~~

A 97,978 crowd packed the Nou Camp to witness the action, action which Real Madrid were expected to dominate. The match wasn’t extremely one sided, about 2 to 1 in Madrid’s favour, and Los Galácticos won 2-0, with goals from Fernando Gago and Raúl securing Lucas Volman’s second competition win. He finishes the month as Very Secure, with Lars Tommersen stable.

~~ ~~

One person had failed to make his or her way to Wembley for the final [FA Cup], where the attendance was 89,999. The whipping that Tom Smith’s Arsenal team gave Robert Boyle’s Blackburn was well deserved considering the stats, but it was surprisingly tight until the 50th minute, when the Mark Bunn floodgates opened. The Blackburn goalkeeper was first treated to a Cesc Fàbregas strike that gave the Gunners the lead, then an Emmanuel Adebayor goal, then an Eduardo goal and finally with one from Theo Walcott in just the 77th minute to wrap up the win. Those 17 minutes were probably the most torrid in Robert Boyle’s career, and maybe the most defining as the Blackburn board fired him before the Wembley turf was even cold.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update
There were slip-ups all over the place, so I’ll have to go for the manager with technically the best record.

Lord Weeman, Napoli

wins the first award of 2026. If all games carried points, Weeman converted 16 from 24. Lucas Volman got the same number from an available 27, and Tom Smith picked up just 11 from 21.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6417
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   6417
   3rd tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        6417
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese                   6370
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)
  Jul 25 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jan 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli

All Star Top Ten – Hall of Fame (Lawrence Lazewski & Bryan McGuinness are in the England HOF)

   Pos +- Username        Manager           NAT Original Club Current Club Nty Natn Eurp Wld
   1st  0 Haowan          Haowan Madristas  ESP Barcelona     (retired)    1st  1st  2nd 2nd
   2nd  0 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      ITA Real Madrid   Real Madrid  2nd  2nd  4th 4th
   3rd  0 spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski USA Valencia                   1st  5th 19th
   4th  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         POR Arsenal       Arsenal      1st  3rd
   5th +2 el sid          Cool Manager      ENG At. Madrid    Inter        2nd  9th
   6th NE ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  ENG Everton       Chelsea      8th  9th
   7th NE weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       ENG Napoli        Napoli       3rd 10th
   8th -3 ian_1982        Maurice Jobson    RWA Man United    (retired)    1st
     - -3 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           SIN Inter                      1st
  10th -3 clrkaitken      Clark Aitken      CAN Roma          (retired)    2nd
     - -3 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    DEN Bologna       Juventus     2nd

[el sid]

Unlucky PluckaDuck
In 2 HOF's

[canvey!!]

Update 212
Years: 17, Months: 212, Days: 6445

Let’s get right into February’s action, starting in England. To be honest, Tom Smith’s Arsenal didn’t have a great month. They won 4-1 at Crystal Palace, but lost 1-2 to both Leeds and Portsmouth. They edged past West Brom with a 1-0 home win in their FA Cup Fourth Round replay, but were hammered 0-3 at home to Man City in Round Five. Roberto Mancini’s side face Brighton in the Sixth Round, while Tottenham host other Championship side Huddersfield, Portsmouth play Leeds, and Ipswich play Liverpool.

Other in Italy, Lord Weeman will be ruing four dropped points this month. Napoli beat both Modena and Empoli, but drew 1-1 at both Palermo and Frosinone. They are in second place, with Serie A leaders Mikael Schøler’s Juventus four points ahead.

In Spain, Lucas Volman had an indifferent league month. They beat Valladolid and Hércules, but lost to Las Palmas and Betis. They won 2-0 at Hércules in the first leg of their Copa del Rey Semi-Final, so look set to progress. Jürgen Klinsmann’s Zaragoza won 1-0 at struggling Atlético Madrid.

European football resumed this month. In the Champions League, Napoli travelled to Zaragoza, weathering the storm and escaping with a goalless draw, while Real Madrid won 1-0 at White Hart Lane. Udinese and Newcastle won 2-1 at home, over Lyon and Betis respectively, while Inter and Bayern Munich drew 2-2 away, at Theo Stigarakis’s Rangers and at Porto respectively. Chelsea won 4-2 at Benfica and Atlético Madrid beat visitors Liverpool 1-0. In the Europa League, Tom Smith’s Arsenal won 5-0 at Sporting CP with a brace from Víctor Manuel Marañón, and they advanced 8-3 on aggregate after a high-scoring encounter in the second leg at the Emirates. Anderlecht await them, while Man City play Man United, and Tyler Burrows’s Roma meet Barcelona.

This update has been short and sweet, much like Ronnie Corbett. Ah, Ronnie Corbett, now that takes me back…

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 12

Actually, our three managers didn’t do anything in Update 12.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update
He didn’t lose, and that’s good enough this month.

Lord Weeman, Napoli

takes it home for the third consecutive time. Napoli beat Modena and Empoli this month, and drew with Palermo and Frosinone. A highlight was a goalless draw away to a relentless Zaragoza.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6445
   2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6445
   3rd tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        6445
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese                   6370
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)
  Jul 25 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jan 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli

All Star Top Ten – League Titles

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club T
   1st  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      8 *
   2nd +1 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        6
     -  0 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter         Valencia     6
   4th +1 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  5 *
   5th +1 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     3
     - +1 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Roma         3
   7th NE brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         England      1
     - NE Ridleys         James Ridley      Siena         Man United   1
     - NE weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       1 *
     - NE ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Rangers      1
     - NE super_lampard   Super Lampard     Lecce         Newcastle    1
     - NE spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia                   1
     - NE canvey!!        Fréderico Canvey  Stoke         Spain        1

[canvey!!]

Update 213
Years: 17, Months: 213, Days: 6476

One more month for our three competitors in the chaos that is football management. Yes, that was a fragment. Consider revising. Let’s see how they did in March two thousand and twenty-six.

Lord Weeman ’s Napoli had a decent month, and they have now overtaken Juventus. However, A.C. Milan have risen to the top of the league and Weeman’s side are still second. In March, Napoli beat Vicenza and Genoa in the league, but lost 0-2 at Inter. Napoli did have fun against Tyler Burrows’s Roma this month, beating them 3-1 at home in the first leg of their Coppa Italia Semi-Final, and winning 4-1 away in the league. Roma are currently 12th, while Burrows’s former club Udinese are sixth.

It’s been a good month for Lucas Volman in La Liga, but Real Madrid, albeit now in second place, sit twelve points adrift of league leaders Zaragoza. They got four wins from four this month, beating Mallorca, Barcelona, Recreativo and Deportivo. They also booked their place in the Copa del Rey Final with a 5-2 win over Hércules, which sees them through 7-2 on aggregate. Zaragoza await them in the Final, having beaten Atlético Madrid 4-1 on aggregate.

In the last update, we left our managers’ teams looking likely to progress in the Champions League. Napoli had drawn goalless at Zaragoza, and Real Madrid won 1-0 at White Hart Lane. So how did they do this month? Both lost 1-2 at home, which means they both got knocked out, Napoli 1-2 and Real Madrid 2-2 on away goals. Benfica, Bayern Munich, Theo Stigarakis’s Rangers, Super Lampard’s Newcastle, Atlético Madrid, and Robert Boyle’s Udinese were all knocked out in the Round of 16 too. In the Quarter Final, Zaragoza meet Chelsea, while Liverpool play Lars Tommersen’s Betis. Tottenham meet Lyon, and the only Italian representative remaining, Cool Manager’s Inter, will play Porto. In the Europa League, Tom Smith’s Arsenal travelled to Belgium, where they held on for a 3-2 win over Anderlecht. The teams drew 1-1 at the Emirates, putting the Gunners through 4-3 on aggregate. In the Quarter Finals, Arsenal meet Dinamo Kiev. James Ridley’s Manchester United play AS Monaco, Tyler Burrows’s Roma play Mikael Schøler’s Juventus, and Mantova meet A.C. Milan.

In England, it has been a terrible month for Tom Smith’s Arsenal, leaving them just six points clear of the relegation zone with as many games to play. They were held to a ten-goal draw against Sheffield Wednesday at the start of the month, and then proceeded to lose 1-3 at Liverpool, 0-2 at Middlesbrough, 0-3 at Manchester United, and 0-2 at home in the North London derby. An internet campaign calling for Smith’s sacking has been gathering pace, and even though Smith is currently described as Stable, the pressure is surely mounting. Half of the Gunners’ last six games are against teams lower than them, but one of the other three is against runaway league leaders Chelsea. Bryan McGuinness’s side won the Carling Cup this month. After a 1-1 draw with James Salter’s Portsmouth at Wembley, Pompey missed all of their penalties, giving the Blues a 2-0 win from the spot. In the FA Cup Semi-Finals, Tottenham play Ipswich while Maz Armley’s Leeds face Manchester City.

Two members of the Dream Team played matches this month. Robert Boyle’s England under 21s played a European Championship qualifying match against Lithuania, winning 5-0. With two qualifying games to play, they lead second-placed Italy by six points, and have almost definitely qualified for the playoff. As the seniors play Poland next month, the under 21s played a friendly in Plock, drawing 1-1. Maz Armley’s under 19s lost their equivalent match 1-2 due to a last-minute goal from 15-year-old Damian Wroblewski.

A title race for Napoli, a cup Final for Real Madrid, and potential relegation for Arsenal. The end of the season approaches!

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 13

In Spain, the big two did not do much, although there was the Nani transfer, and Lucas Volman raised £13M by selling Rafael van der Vaart to Liverpool. It was the smaller sides that had the more interesting month, and Wobill Luman’s Betis raised £17.25M and didn’t spend a penny. Villarreal bought two players, and Branko Ilic went to Andy Morton’s Sporting for £1.9M. Valencia and Lazio also took some of the Betis squad. Despite this, Luman started his pre-season with an impressive 6-0 win. Phill Ewles’s Valladolid raised £5.5M selling Pedro León to Atlético Madrid, while Tom Hamilton’s Mallorca have already completed 50% of their pre-season after just one game, wich they won 2-0. They also made a £3.5M profit from two outgoing transfers.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update
There was some room for improvement among all our managers this month. Nonetheless;

Lucas Volman, Real Madrid

scoops the award. He took his time to four victories from four in the league, and a win in the cup that secures a Final place. We’ll have to overlook defeat to Spurs in the Champions League.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6476
   2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6476
   3rd tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Stable        6476
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese                   6370
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[Biscotti]

I'm not so sure the Copa del Rey is contested in Italy...

[canvey!!]

It is now!

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)
  Jul 25 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jan 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 26 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid

All Star Top Ten – Cup Titles

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club CT
   1st +1 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  21 *
   2nd +1 spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia                   18
   3rd +2 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        12
     - +1 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      12 *
   5th +2 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      10
     - +2 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       10 *
   7th -1 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                       7
   8th +1 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus      6
   9th +1 SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham                   4
  10th NE Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Tottenham     3

[canvey!!]

An Easter gift for you!

Update 214
Years: 17, Months: 214, Days: 6506

In England, the season is almost over, with just two matchdays remaining in the Premier League. Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea sealed the title this month, with a 1-1 draw at home to Portsmouth, while Crystal Palace, Blackburn and Sunderland have been relegated. Tom Smith’s Arsenal had a month good enough to keep them safe, although European football through their league finish is out of the question. They could, however, qualify as Europa League holders: they knocked Dinamo Kiev out 5-3 in the Quarter Finals despite a 1-3 loss in Ukraine, and lead James Ridley’s Manchester United 4-1 in the Semi-Final, while Juventus lead A.C. Milan 1-0. In the league this month, the Gunners lost at home to Chelsea, drew at Aston Villa, and beat both Newcastle and Sunderland. Smith, whose team are 12th, is Insecure. Next month, Martin Bojangles’s Tottenham meet Maz Armley’s Leeds in the FA Cup Final, and it will be the first time since 2008 that two teams from outside the traditional ‘Big Four’ reached the Final. Sheffield United won the Championship, and Nottingham Forest will join them in automatic promotion.

We’ll jetset over to Spain now, where, in just 68 days, Lucas Volman will give up his post at Real Madrid and retire. But he still has a season to finish, and in March, Real didn’t do too badly, beating Tenerife, Sevilla and Albacete, the last one 6-0, and drawing with Elche and Atlético Madrid. With five games left to play, Zaragoza must lose all games and Real must win all if they are to get their hands on the title. That is, of course, assuming second-placed Barcelona don’t sneak in if such an unlikely situation does occur. Castellón lead the LIGA adelante, which has six games left to play.

National teams got the first chance of the year to test out players and tactics, and Tim Aubel’s United States, for instance, travelled to Belgium for their friendly match, a match they lost 1-2. Brettney Joven’s England played in Chorzow, Poland, and it was a dull game, resulting in many fans leaving early. Two minutes from time, however, England took the lead, and two minutes later, Poland equalised. Fréderico Canvey’s Spain took a long haul flight to Australia, where they ran out 3-0 winners thanks to a brace from Liverpool striker Fernando Rosselló. The biggest wins were for Trinidad & Tobago, who won 6-0 at home to St Martin, and for Craig Gordon’s Scotland, who won 6-0 in Luxembourg.

It’s time to conclude in Italy, where Lord Weeman’s Napoli have finally risen to the top of Serie A. They drew goalless at Catania in their opening game, but went on to beat Rimini, Cagliari, Ascoli, and Robert Boyle’s Udinese. They won 5-2 at Tyler Burrows’s Roma in the Coppa Italia, which puts them into the Final 8-3 on aggregate. There, they’ll meet Cool Manager’s Inter. In Serie B, Bologna have secured promotion, and look likely title winners. Fiorentina and Atalanta sit second and third.

What’s to look forward to next month? What’s not to look forward to? Two of our managers in cup finals, the other with his head on the guillotine, and the conclusion of the domestic seasons before attention turns to France for the World Cup.

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 14

The season has begun and already clubs are excelling towards the top of the table. Life is good for Maurice Jobson and Lucas Volman, with the Rwandan second in the Premier League and August’s EPL Manager of the Month. He also found success in the Community Shield, a 2-0 win over Arsenal, and finished the transfer window with an £18M profit, bolstered of course by the sale of Nani. As a result of this, Jobson’s Job Status is Secure. Volman is also Secure at Real Madrid, despite an opening draw against Tom Hamilton’s Mallorca, but a 3-0 aggregate win over Villarreal in the Supercopa de España keeps his position very safe, that is even with a late transfer of £13.25M, making him a small loss for the window. Seeing as it is 650 times smaller than Real’s loss for the same window in real life, it’s possible to see why he is Secure! On the other hand, Osasuna’s Saul Goode is already beginning to feel the pressure of a new season, as he started his campaign in the Liga adelante with a 1-1 draw at home to Gimnàstic. His healthy transfer window profit should mean little in his ability to cope and keep his job in Spain’s second division.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update

Lord Weeman, Napoli

wins this award. He guided his team to four wins and a draw in the Serie A this month, and got them into the cup Final with an impressive victory at Roma. Lucas Volman played five league games, picking up eleven points, so he gets a mention too.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6506
   2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6506
   3rd tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Insecure      6506
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese                   6370
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)
  Jul 25 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jan 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 26 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli

All Star Top Ten – Awards

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Aw
   1st  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      37 *
   2nd  0 spartans5       Lawrence Lazewski Valencia                   20
   3rd +5 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      18
   4th +1 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        13
     - +1 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  13 *
   6th +2 SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham                  11
   7th NE weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       10
   8th +2 brettney1980    Brettney Joven    Wigan         England       9
     - +2 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                       9
  10th NE Ridleys         James Ridley      Siena         Man United    8

[Romanista1994]

Loving the nostalgia updates. I'm more than a bit ashamed that I didn't follow this closely at the time.

I'm going to retire soon.

[hasdgfas]

Losing to Belgium

[canvey!!]

Update 215
Years: 17, Months: 215, Days: 6537

Another season is complete, and a mere 37 days remain before we go down to two managers. When we last saw our managers, we left all three in the latter stages of some cup or another, so we’ll see how much silverware was accumulated. First, let’s finish the domestic season in England.

Tom Smith ’s Arsenal finished their Premier League season well, with two wins and seven goals. Ian Holloway’s Blackburn Rovers visited the Emirates, and lost 0-4. Arsenal then travelled to Pride Park, where two goals from Craig Robson helped them to a 3-0 victory. That leads me to;

The Craig Robson-o-meter

Goals this Month: 3

Total Goals: 83

Cost per Goal: £578,313.25

Arsenal finish 11th in the Premier League. In the FA Cup Final, Martin Bojangles’s Tottenham met Maz Armley’s Leeds. Leeds scored after ten minutes and Spurs after another ten, but Bojangles’s team went down to ten men 65 minutes in. They held out until full time, but got a second player sent off in the 99th minute. Luis Manuel Molina scored the winner for Leeds four minutes from the end of extra time. Despite his first silverware at Elland Road this month, there is some uncertainty surrounding Armley’s job. A consortium takeover has put new chairman Casey May in charge, and it is rumoured that May is looking to sack Armley and bring in Phill Ewles. Everton won the Championship playoffs, and join Sheffield United and Nottingham Forest in promotion.

Last month, we had just one side remaining in Europe, with Tom Smith’s Arsenal in pursuit of the Europa League. They held a 4-1 lead over Manchester United in the Semi-Final, but James Ridley’s Red Devils won the return leg at Old Trafford 3-0, putting them through on away goals. Elsewhere, A.C. Milan thrashed Mikael Schøler’s Juventus 4-0 for a 4-1 aggregate win. Man United won the Final, in Moscow, sealing their 2-0 victory before half time. Midfielder Chris Bailey missed a penalty sixteen minutes from time, but A.C. Milan couldn’t take control of the game. Meanwhile, Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea completed a treble by lifting the Champions League crown. Having beaten Zaragoza and Inter both 3-2 on aggregate in the Quarter Final and Semi-Final respectively, they met Martin Bojangles’s Tottenham, who had beaten Lyon and Lars Tommersen’s Betis in the last two rounds. The Blues had the edge, but it took a penalty from John Fleck ten minutes from time to give them the 1-0 win. A first Champions League win for Chelsea, while Spurs were in the Final for the first time, too.

When we left them, Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid were tenuously still in the title race. Unsurprisingly, they didn’t win La Liga, but they did finish second. In May, they beat Alavés, Racing, and league winners Zaragoza, and drew with Murcia and Valencia. Barcelona and Atlético Madrid also got Champions League places, with Betis, Valencia and Alavés entering the Europa League. Murcia, Tenerife and Albacete were relegated, and Villarreal and Castellón make up two of the sides that will replace them. As for Real Madrid, they had a cup Final to play.

Road to the Final – Copa del Rey
Lucas Volman ’s Real Madrid started their Copa del Rey campaign in style, with a 12-0 aggregate victory over Cultural Leonesa. This put them into the Fifth Round, to meet Albacete, whom they beat 5-1. Meanwhile, Marcelino García Toral’s Zaragoza started against Real Unión, winning 5-0. They went better in their Fifth Round tie, with an 8-1 win overall over Murcia. Their Quarter Final drew them against Deportivo, whom they beat 7-3 on aggregate. Real Madrid’s Quarter Final tie came against Alavés, and, despite a 1-1 draw at home, they advanced 4-1 on aggregate. They faced Hércules in the Semi-Final, and made their position known early on with a 2-0 victory in the away leg, which enabled a 7-2 aggregate win. Zaragoza reached the Final with a 4-1 win over Real’s rivals Atlético.

Valencia’s Nuevo Mestalla played host to the Final, which didn’t really get interesting until midway through the second half. Romanian midfielder Vlad Pop put Lucas Volman’s Real Madrid ahead in the 68th minute after a clever move from the team. But just four minutes later, Zaragoza’s Serbian striker Miodrag Popovic equalised after a pretty shambolic mix-up in the Real defence. Extra time came, and just three minutes into it, Popovic netted again, rounding Real centreback Gianluca Nobili and firing the ball low into the goal. It looked like Jürgen Klinsmann’s Zaragoza might sneak the win, but a rallying team talk from Lucas Volman in the small half time period inspired Argentina striker Emanuel Páez, who lists Volman among his inspirations, to level the scores with a wonderful long-range shot. 2-2 was the final score, and the match came down to penalties. It was an error-strewn shootout, and, after five kicks for each side, the score was 3-3. Páez and Popovic both notably missed their chances. Both teams scored their first two sudden-death chances, but Iosu Alkorta scored for Real while 31-year-old fullback Julián Quesada missed for Zaragoza. Trophy number 27 for Lucas Volman, and he can retire contented.

For Lord Weeman’s Napoli, it was so close once again in the Serie A title race. They missed out on the Scudetto, finishing three points behind winners A.C. Milan, who brought to an end their seven-year estrangement from the title. Napoli played three games in May, winning home games against Parma and Lazio, and losing away to Mantova. Parma, Empoli and Cagliari were relegated from the Italian top flight, with Bologna, Fiorentina, and one of Torino, Atalanta, AlbinoLeffe and Chievo replacing them. Meanwhile, Napoli could console themselves with the Coppa Italia Final.

Road to the Final – Coppa Italia
For Napoli, the Coppa Italia campaign got off to a shaky start, and they required penalties to beat Catania at home in the First Round. This sent them to Friuli, to face Robert Boyle’s Udinese, and they capitalised on the turmoil at the club following the loss of its manager, and won 1-0. Cool Manager’s Inter also drew at home in the First Round, and could only beat Modena from the spot. But things then picked up for them: they thrashed Quarter Final visitors Frosinone 4-0, and then played rivals A.C. Milan, winning 3-0 in the home leg and reaching the Final 4-1 on aggregate. Lord Weeman met his old nemesis Tyler Burrows as Napoli took on Roma in the other Semi-Final, and Weeman’s side tore apart their opposition, winning 3-1 at home and 5-2 away.

The match started off electrically, and it wasn’t long before the excitement got to some of the players. England international Matt Hazell was given a straight red card just twenty minutes in, for elbowing Napoli’s Spanish striker Daniel Resino. Lord Weeman’s side made full use of their man-advantage, taking control of the game. They netted in the 36th minute with a stunning long-range free kick from Italian defender Nicola Giovanardi. The befouled Resino doubled the lead in the 54th minute, with a clever chip into the Inter goal’s top corner. 2-0 was the Final score, giving Weeman his twelfth piece of silverware with the club. He has been rewarded with a £105,000-per-week contract that takes him up until 2029.

It has been an exciting month. Now, all eyes turn to France for the 2026 World Cup. Brettney Joven, Neilio, Fréderico Canvey and Tim Aubel will be there, and we’ll be cheering them on.

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 15

In England, Tom Smith’s Arsenal have prised top spot away from Manchester City, although the Sky Blues remain the only side unbeaten, and were the only side to beat the Gunners this month, as the London-based club romped to five wins, including a 4-0 victory over Fulham and a 5-0 one over Rosenborg in the Champions League. Harry Redknapp’s Blackburn are in third place, with Manchester United in fourth. Shazad Ali had a good month at Newcastle, who are eighth, beating Hull and rivals Sunderland, and securing a 5-0 win over Russians Khimki in the Europa League. Their only loss was to Arsenal in the League Cup Third Round, although they also drew against Tottenham. Scott Tysoe’s Sunderland started the month badly, drawing against Crystal Palace and that loss to Newcastle, but a win over Wolves in the League Cup and one over Ipswich in the league puts them 15th, just above Bryan McGuinness’s Everton who failed to win this month.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update
Almost as a parting gesture;

Lucas Volman , Real Madrid

wins this award. He picked up eleven points from fifteen in his last (ever) league games, and just about won the Copa del Rey. Lord Weeman also did well, lifting the Coppa Italia with a 2-0 win over Inter.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Very Secure   6537
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   6537
   3rd tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Insecure 6537
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese                   6370
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[el sid]

Joint 3rd in the all time cup wins Missed out on an opportunity to win another one though

[canvey!!]

English Premier League Table
Italian Serie A League Table
Spanish La Liga League Table (last one you’ll get)

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)
  Jul 25 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jan 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 26 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 26 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid

All Star Top Ten – Games Played at Current Club

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Plyd
   1st  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      1080 *
   2nd +1 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  1046 *
   3rd +2 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli        902 *
   4th +2 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus      601
   5th +2 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter         580
   6th +4 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea       358
   7th NE Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis         334
   8th NE super_lampard   Super Lampard     Lecce         Newcastle     113
   9th NE m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Leeds/ENG u19  95
  10th NE ScottT!         Scott Tysoe       Sunderland    Fulham         52

[PluckaDuck]

Still don't know why I left Udinese for Roma, such a stupid decision

[canvey!!]

World Cup Preview

Bienvenue en France! Le vingt-troisième coup de monde commencera bientôt, donc, nous examinerons les équipes qui veulent le gagner.

Group A would be the logical place to start, and it is there that we find Fréderico Canvey’s Spain. The former Everton boss has done a good job since taking over a year ago, and Spain must be odds-on favourites to go through. They are joined by Poland, Chile, and Cup of African Nations winners Morocco. Chile will whimper out of the tournament, I’m afraid, and I think Poland will pip the North Africans to second place.

Group B looks all exotic for some reason, but it’s difficult to call a group containing Scotland ‘exotic’. They are joined by fellow Anglophones Australia, as well a Cuba and six-times winners Brazil. Brazil will sail through in first place, and I think Australia have enough about them to qualify too. If they have any dignity, Scotland will beat Cuba, or at least draw and do better against the other two teams, and claim third place.

There are some heavyweights in Group C, and it’s a shame that two of them will have to be eliminated. Portugal, Argentina, Mexico and Japan clash in this group, and, despite the Portuguese woes of late, I think they can qualify from this group. Argentina are my favourites to join Portugal in qualification, and indeed I feel the South Americans can top the group. Japan should pip Mexico to third place, but with things so close, don’t be amazed whatever the result.

Neilio ’s Italy have a tough group in the shape of Group D. Having said that, I feel they have enough about them to get three wins and finish top. Russia, South Korea and South Africa make up their opponents, and, while it’s tempting to tip the Russians for second place, I think in the end it will be South Korea who join Italy in qualification, with South Africa falling by the wayside and finishing fourth.

The third of our four managers finds himself in Group E. That sentence alone is enough to tell you that it is Tim Aubel, whose United States face Croatia, Paraguay and the hosts France. France have got to be favourites to qualify, and Paraguay have disappointed me in the past, so I’d put them bottom. I think the United States have enough about them to beat Croatia and finish second.

Group F is the place to be, as any of these teams could win the group. I tip Uruguay for first place, and I’m afraid Tunisia are odds-on to finish fourth. That leaves the Czechs and the Greeks, and although I might be a bit biased in being Hellenophile, I do believe Greece can finish second. Group H is also a pretty open group, although Germany will run away with the top spot. Cameroon, Iran and Sweden will all be competing for second place, and it might just be the optimist in me, but I think Cameroon can get it.

We’ll conclude with Group G, where, just like in 2022, England find themselves. They won’t have a lot of trouble beating Nigeria or China, and so are my favourites to top the group. Denmark aren’t always too consistent, but I don’t think the Nigerians or the Chinese threaten them either, and they will follow England into the Second Round.

You’ve heard what I have to say, so now have a stats burst. Usually, I focus on players, but this time, I’m going to look at the teams and their qualifying campaigns. You’re going to see how many matches the played, how many goals they scored, and their biggest win. Obviously, France aren’t in this list.

  Nation         GP Gls Biggest Win
  Mexico         18  49 7-0 vs. Trinidad & Tobago
  Brazil         18  46 4-0 vs. Bolivia, Chile, Colombia, Paraguay
  Argentina      18  45 5-0 vs. Peru
  Iran           16  42 5-0 vs. Oman
  China          20  38 5-0 vs. Hong Kong
  Japan          14  36 6-0 vs. Iraq
  Australia      14  35 5-0 vs. Lebanon
  Cameroon       12  34 5-0 vs. DR Congo
  Paraguay       20  34 4-0 vs. Bolivia, Colombia
  South Africa   12  32 4-0 vs. Ethiopia, Guinea, Niger
  United States  18  32 4-0 vs. Cayman Islands
  Tunisia        12  31 4-0 vs. Sierra Leone, Sierra Leone
  Italy          12  30 4-0 vs. Malta, Bosnia & Hz., Bosnia & Hz.
  Nigeria        12  30 5-1 vs. Mauritania, Togo
  Germany        10  28 4-0 vs. Andorra, Estonia, Estonia
  Sweden         12  27 4-0 vs. Andorra
  Uruguay        18  27 4-0 vs. Venezuela
  Greece         10  26 4-0 vs. Malta, Malta, Norway
  Denmark        12  26 4-0 vs. FYR Macedonia, Israel
  Morocco        12  26 3-0 vs. Guinea
  Chile          18  26 4-0 vs. Ecuador
  Croatia        10  25 5-0 vs. Liechtenstein
  South Korea    14  25 4-0 vs. Yemen
  England         8  24 7-0 vs. Kazakhstan
  Scotland       10  24 6-0 vs. Lithuania
  Portugal       10  22 3-0 vs. Romania
  Russia         10  22 3-0 vs. N. Ireland, 4-1 vs. San Marino
  Cuba           18  22 3-0 vs. Antigua & Barbuda
  Czech Republic 10  21 3-0 vs. Latvia, Slovakia, 4-1 vs. Luxembourg
  Poland         10  20 5-0 vs. Montenegro
  Spain           8  14 2-0 vs. Austria, Serbia, Slovenia

Alors, il y a une grand variété. Le mois prochain, je vous présenterai le coup de monde!

[hasdgfas]

Yeah, predicted to finish second
Now we'll get fourth

[PluckaDuck]

MON Cuba

[canvey!!]

Update 216 and World Cup Report Part I
Years: 18, Months: 216, Days: 6567

It’s World Cup time and football teams, media circuses and buses full of fans have descended upon France. Let’s see how the exciting action unfolded.

Fréderico Canvey ’s Spain opened the tournament, being the defending champions, against Morocco. Spain were resplendently clinical, and ran out 3-1 victors with a brace from 29-year-old Inter striker José Luis Nieto. That scoreline was matched later in the day by Poland, who won against an ill-disciplined Chile side. Poland and Spain drew 1-1 in their Group A encounter, but the Spanish secured qualification with a 4-0 win over Chile. Poland, however, fell at the hands of Morocco, and, given that the Moroccans had beaten Chile too, they got through ahead of the Poles.
canvey!!’s Prediction: Spain, Poland, Morocco, Chile
Actual Result: Spain (7), Morocco (6), Poland (4), Chile (0)
Accuracy: 80%

I was pleasantly surprised by the result in Group B. Craig Gordon’s Scotland did remarkably well, opening with a 3-0 win over Cuba, drawing goalless with Brazil, and beating Australia 1-0 in the final game. They topped the group, and Brazil followed them through after drawing with the Aussies and beating the Cubans. The match between Australia and Cuba, while the least relevant, was the most exciting, with Australia winning 7-0. Lyon’s Fabian Klaver and Tottenham’s Kris Cole each got two goals.
canvey!!’s Prediction: Brazil, Australia, Scotland, Cuba
Actual Result: Scotland (7), Brazil (5), Australia (4), Cuba (0)
Accuracy: 60%

No team has converted 100% of points yet, and that wasn’t about to change in Group C. Argentina topped the group, but, like Scotland and Spain, picked up seven points, having beaten Mexico and Japan but drawn with Portugal. Emanuel Páez scored three of Argentina’s five goals. Portugal also drew against Mexico, with neither side able to score, but the 1-0 win against Japan with which they opened the group was sufficient to put them through. Mexico claimed third place by beating the Japanese 1-0.
canvey!!’s Prediction: Argentina, Portugal, Japan, Mexico
Actual Result: Argentina (7), Portugal (5), Mexico (4), Japan (0)
Accuracy: 80%

In Italy, top pundits believe Lord Weeman’s Napoli will finish second for the second year running. Defending champions A.C. Milan are their favourites for the title, with Inter and Juventus also odds-on to get Champions League places. At the bottom of the table, Serie B winners Bologna are predicted to get relegated, but fellow newly-promoted teams Fiorentina and Atalanta are believed to be capable of avoiding the drop, with Vicenza and Ascoli going in their place. The latter has actually been involved in European football this month, having qualified through the Fair Play draw. They got two 3-0 wins over Montenegrin side FK Decic Tuzi in the Europa League First Qualifying Round. Weeman’s Napoli made one transfer this month, buying the second half of Lazio’s Senegalese midfielder Souleymane Sambou for £975k.

Back to World Cup action, then, with Group D. Neilio’s Italy, as expected, coped, but they were also unable to take all the points. They beat South Africa 3-0, before an own goal gave them a 1-0 win over South Korea. They finished the group with a goalless draw against Russia, who also picked up seven points. The Russians beat South Korea 2-1 and South Africa 3-1. The Koreans beat South Africa 2-1 in their game.
canvey!!’s Prediction: Italy, South Korea, Russia, South Africa
Actual Result: Italy (7), Russia (7), South Korea (3), South Africa (0)
Accuracy: 80%

Group E saw Tim Aubel’s United States competing, and they opened against hosts France, looking to create a tumult. They didn’t, going down 0-1 without much of a fight. The French went on to win the group, but were also unable to pick up nine points. They beat Paraguay 4-2 but drew goalless with Croatia. The Americans were aiming for second place, and they drew their game against Paraguay, 1-1, definitely not one for the neutrals. They matched that result against Croatia, another poor game. With just two points, they whimpered out, and Croatia took second place with a 2-1 win over Paraguay.
canvey!!’s Prediction: France, United States, Croatia, Paraguay
Actual Result: France (7), Croatia (5), United States (2), Paraguay (1)
Accuracy: 80%

At last, a group where I got everything right. Which is odd, as it was, in my view, the most open group. Uruguay lost their opening game to the Czech Republic, but still topped it, by virtue of victories over Tunisia and Greece. The Greeks finished second, beating Tunisia 1-0 and drawing goalless with the Czechs. The Tunisian victory over the Czech Republic made things as close as I believed they would be, but the African side still finished bottom.
canvey!!’s Prediction: Uruguay, Greece, Czech Republic, Tunisia
Actual Result: Uruguay (6), Greece (4), Czech Republic (4), Tunisia (3)
Accuracy: 100%

Man City will win the Premier League. So says the Sun, and if Roberto Mancini can engineer a league win, he will be a revered man in the blue half of Manchester. Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea, who have won the title four times in the last five years, are tipped to finish second, while critics say that Tom Smith’s Arsenal are likely to finish ninth. Sheffield United and Nottingham Forest are favourites for relegation, but newly-promoted Everton will survive, the Daily Star hypothesises (you don’t hear that phrase very often), with Derby going down in their place.

It’s now time to see how Brettney Joven’s England did in their World Cup group. They started brightly, beating China 2-0 before a 3-1 victory over Nigeria. This saw them qualified, as Denmark had also beaten those two teams, 2-0 and 3-0 respectively. In the game between England and Denmark, Man City midfielder Michael Hansen scored his fourth and fifth goals of the tournament, single-handedly holding the Three Lions to a 2-2 draw. Craig Robson and Adam Pepper netted for Joven’s side. China and Nigeria drew 1-1.
canvey!!’s Prediction: England, Denmark, China/Nigeria
Actual Result: Denmark (7), England (7), China (1), Nigeria (1)
Accuracy: 60 – 80%

And finally, Group H. Germany, as anticipated, romped to victory, beating Sweden and Iran 2-0, and Cameroon 4-0. Iran drew their other two games 0-0, and Sweden pipped them to second place with a 2-1 victory over Cameroon.
canvey!!’s Prediction: Germany, Cameroon, Iran/Sweden
Actual Result: Germany (9), Sweden (4), Iran (2), Cameroon (1)
Accuracy: 55 – 60%

So those are the group stages complete, and we move on to the Second Round. In a Scandinavian encounter, Denmark beat Sweden 2-1, and that was the fairest result. The last African side left the tournament as Morocco lost 0-2 to Scotland, and that result was matched by France over Greece and by Argentina over Russia. A goal from Roma striker Emilio Medina, who lists Cool Manager, Ben Cee and Tom Smith among his favoured personnel, helped Uruguay to a 1-0 win over Croatia.

Fréderico Canvey ’s Spain found their efforts to lift a fourth consecutive World Cup thwarted by Brazil. The match was even, and a draw was a fair result. Spain took the lead eight minutes in, only for Brazil’s Eduardo to nullify that lead in the 37th minute. The second half was pretty dull, and an unflinching performance from the spot saw the South Americans win 5-3 on penalties. Neilio’s Italy have had a few dull games so far, but they set a new low in their Round of 16 match against Portugal. Between them, the two teams mustered eight shots, and Italy got both the on-target ones. With that, you’d expect the Italians to win or at least draw, and it was a goal from Valencia’s Juri Rigamonti in the 16th minute that put them into the Last Eight. Brettney Joven’s England had a fiery match against Germany, the only side to have won all their games, but captain Craig Robson powered them in front five minutes before half time, with a powerful header. A minute after the restart, he struck again, in almost identical circumstances. Chelsea’s Lee Taylor got the assist both times with sweet crosses, and does an invaluable job on the right wing.

So Brazil, after having knocked out one of our managers, are looking for a second scalp: they take on Neilio’s Italy. England will face another two derbies, assuming they win in the Quarter Final, where they play France, because Argentina or Scotland await them in the Final Four. Uruguay play Denmark in what I suppose we must call the match of the underdogs. The winner of that will face Brazil or Italy.

With Lucas Volman retiring and with a World Cup to be won, next month will be monumental. Don’t miss it!

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 16

Over to England where there is already a bit of a power fight at the top of the Premier League table, and it seems that the top four are already beginning to carve out a lead over fifth-placed Everton. Harry Redknapp’s Blackburn found themselves in the mix at the start of the month, but fell out after a tough set of fixtures and are now six points adrift of Tom Smith’s fourth-placed Arsenal. Arsenal drew three matches 1-1 this month, winning one and losing one also. Birmingham were seen off 4-2, but a trip to White Hart Lane in a fierce North London Derby saw Leo Dodge’s Tottenham trump 1-0 with a Darren Bent goal. Dodge is having a comfortable season so far, but lingers in 8th spot by virtue of two games in hand. Aside from Arsenal, West Brom and Aston Villa were also seen off this month, with Ipswich proving a challenge too far; Spurs lost at Portman Road.

~~ ~~

Meanwhile, Tyler Burrows’s Udinese are adrift in third place in Group F, behind Barcelona and Bayern Munich. The Andorran’s team lost 0-2 to the Germans this month, but are in 8th place in Serie A. Lord Weeman’s Napoli leapt from 14th to 6th in Serie A this month with a very impressive 100% performance: a 5-0 win over Bologna, a 2-0 win over Bologna and of course that 2-0 win away to Inter.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update
This month’s winner is;

Brettney Joven , England (formerly of Wigan)

simply for being more entertaining than Neilio. Both managers got their teams into the World Cup Quarter Finals, which isn’t a walk in the park, but still, there weren’t any real stand-out contenders for the award this month. This month’s award is be the penultimate one, as, once we get down to two managers, I will discontinue the award.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   6567
   2nd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid Secure        6567
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6567
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese                   6370
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[el sid]

Phew qualified to the CL by the skin of our teeth

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)
  Jul 25 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jan 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 26 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 26 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 26 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)

All Star Top Ten – Games Won at Current Club

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Won Percent Chnge
   1st  0 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      708 (65.6%) -2.3% *
   2nd +1 Romanista1994   Lucas Volman      Real Madrid   Real Madrid  690 (66.0%) -0.3% *
   3rd +1 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       531 (58.9%) +0.3% *
   4th +2 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        388 (66.9%) -2.2%
   5th +2 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     363 (60.4%) +0.2%
   6th +3 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      250 (69.8%) -1.0%
   7th NE Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis        194 (58.1%)  n/a
   8th NE super_lampard   Super Lampard     Lecce         Newcastle     60 (53.1%)  n/a
   9th NE m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Leeds         49 (51.6%)  n/a
  10th NE dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Palermo       20 (47.6%)  n/a

[canvey!!]

Update 217
Years: 18, Months: 217, Days: 6598

And then there were two. I had no particular inclination to produce one, but, seeing as Haowan Madridstas got one, I thought I’d give you the lowdown on Lucas Volman’s stats. Former Sevilla manager Manolo Jiménez replaces the 65-year-old at Real Madrid.

  Highest Fee Spent      £52M (Keith Smith#)
  Highest Fee Received   £20.5M (Adriano)
  Players Bought         85 (£809M)
  Players Sold           115 (£394M)
  Players Released       41
  Time at Real Madrid    6573 days
  
  Champions League wins  4 (2012, 2013, 2014, 2017)
  La Liga wins           5 (2009, 2010, 2013, 2018, 2025)
  Europa League wins     1 (2011)
  Copa del Rey wins      5 (2009, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2026)
  Spanish Super Cup wins 4 (2009, 2010, 2018, 2025)
  UEFA Super Cup wins    4 (2011, 2012, 2014, 2017)
  Club World Chmp wins   4 (2012, 2013, 2014, 2017)
  Total Silverware       27
  Awards Won             14
  
  Matches Played         1046
  Matches Won            690
  Matches Drawn          205
  Matches Lost           151
  Goals Scored           2122 (2.03p/m)
  Goals Conceded         778 (0.74p/m)
  Goal Difference        +1344
  
  Manager of the Update  28 times
  In Stats Lists         158 times
  Tops Stats Lists       23 times
  Months as Most Secure  154
  Times Mentioned        1976
  
  Hall of Fame Points    660 (9 Major Trophies, 6 Minor Trophies)
  Italian Hall of Fame   2nd (1st Giovanni Trappatoni, 705; 3rd Marcello Lippi 620)
  Spain Hall of Fame     2nd (1st Haowa Madridstas, 720; 3rd Miguel Muñoz, 560)
  Europe Hall of Fame    4th (3rd Giovanni Trappatoni, 705; 5th Marcello Lippi 620)
  World Hall of Fame     As Europe

The World Cup Quarter Finals were very close. So close, in fact, that not one of them ended after ninety minutes. In Uruguay versus Denmark, it was all set to go to penalties, when, four minutes before the end of extra time, Roma’s Emilio Medina was given a second yellow card. Denmark capitalised on their man advantage, with midfielder Michael Hansen scoring a minute later, the only goal of the game. The pain is doubled for Uruguay by the fact that it was not unreasonable to expect ‘keeper Fernando Ramírez to make the save. The other three matches went to penalties: Brazil drew goalless with Neilio’s Italy, and won 4-3 from the spot, and Argentina couldn’t score against Scotland, despite spending the second half of extra time a man up, but won through 4-2 in the shootout. Brettney Joven’s England met France, and the French went ahead after 12 minutes, with a goal from Marseille striker Laurent Bauduin from just inside the penalty area. Six minutes later, with an own goal from Alexandre Legrand, also known as Alexander the Big. Craig Robson’s sidefooted shot bounced off the Bordeaux defender and past the French ‘keeper. The rest of the game was bereft of action, and Legrand made up for his earlier mistake by scoring the winning penalty for the French. 4-2 was the shootout score.

The Semi-Finals, while less nervy, were more exciting. To the shock of many, Denmark beat Brazil 2-0, with FC København’s Svend Aage Schøler (no relation) scoring both goals. A red card for Inter defender Rodrigo saw Brazil go down to ten men after twenty-two minutes, and two minutes later, Denmark got their first. Schøler added a second on the hour mark. Argentina showed similar guile in beating France: goals from José Luis Moreno, Luis Miranda and Cristian Iglesias helped them to a 3-0 victory against the host nation.

Tom Smith was fairly active in the transfer window this month, with two players arriving at the Emirates, and one leaving. Braga’s Portuguese centreback David Baptista joined for £7.25M, and is actually the only Portuguese player at the club, despite Smith’s own heritage. 24-year-old goalkeeper Marc McDonald arrived on a free, while an 18-year-old shot stopper, David Stroud, joined Q.P.R. for £625k. Centreback Joseph Olawale joins Wigan on loan until January. Arsenal played five friendlies this month, winning all five. They won 2-0 against Germinal Beerschot before a tour of Germany that resulted in a 2-0 win over 1860 München, a 3-0 win over Unterhaching, and a 4-0 win over Aachen. They then won 3-1 at Modena.

France and Brazil met in the 2010 Final, but both have now been relegated to the Third Place Playoff. Brazil have finished third twice in the last three years, but this time, despite dominating the game, they lost out to the French, who won 2-0 thanks to a brace from Barcelona striker Mathis Charbonnel. Charbonnel converted a penalty after four minutes, and, to give nervous French fans a break, doubled the lead nine minutes from time.

In Italy, Lord Weeman has been very busy, signing no fewer than five players. Well, signing just fewer than five players: four-and-a-half. Firstly, he bought half of 17-year-old Fiorentina winger Vincenzo Bucci for £1M. Udinese goalkeeper Maurizio Del Giudice signed for £3.1M, and versatile Cagliari midfielder Leonardo for £7.25M. Weeman signed AZ Alkmaar’s attacking midfielder Marco Spadaro for £10.25M, and finished off his spending with a flourish, bringing in Rimini’s 22-year-old cultured midfielder Davide Donadel for £23M, Weeman’s biggest ever spend on one player. 29-year-old goalkeeper Rico Clark, who arrived last season from Everton for nothing, signed for Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea for £325k. Napoli played two friendlies, losing 1-3 at Hannover but beating feeder club Benevento 4-1. Next month, they play the Italian Super Cup away to A.C. Milan.

The Stade de France played host to the World Cup Final, between Denmark and Argentina. Argentina started brightly, and, after 14 minutes, Emanuel Páez, receiving the ball upfield from José Luis Moreno, rounded his marker Henrik Larsen and fired the ball into the net. Argentina continued to press, but were unable to get a second goal, with a lot of their shots going off target. In the second half, it was Denmark’s turn for dominance, but they found themselves up against a sturdy and resilient Argentine defence that was not looking likely to give. However, in the 92nd minute, FC Twente striker Lars Sripathy finally beat the South American goalkeeper to put the ball into the net. However, his goal was ruled out for offside. It was the most high-profile of decisions, but English referee Daniel O’Neill and his assistants got it correct. With time running out, Denmark couldn’t get a goal and Gabriel Milito’s Argentina took the Jules Rimet trophy back home for the third time.

In other international news, Maz Armley’s England under 19s were active this month in the European U19 Championship in Sweden. They secured qualification from their group after two games, beating the Czech Republic 2-1 and Ukraine 2-0, although they finished second in their group after a final-match defeat to Italy. They met hosts Sweden in the Semi-Final, and triumphed 2-1 with two goals in as many minutes, and would encounter Italy again. A goal from 18-year-old Nottingham Forest centreback Robbie Hall just before half time gave the Three Lions a 1-0 victory, and saw Armley win the tournament for the second consecutive time. Nottingham Forest, by the way, this month appointed Steve Bruce to replace the retiring Russell Slade. Elsewhere in England, Fulham hired Iker Casillas, to replace Scott Tysoe, who has also hung up his boots.

So, the media circus of the World Cup is over for another four years. Well, within two years qualifying will start again. But for the moment, we can concentrate on our two managers and their unrelenting quest to capture the 60 to One crown.

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 17

English people celebrated the Fourth Round of their League Cup, with a nice and decisive win being secured for Liam Ferguson’s Manchester City over Tom Smith’s Arsenal. Vagner Love bagged a hattrick and Arsenal’s Adebayor got one as City won 5-1. Combined with their league form which puts them top of the EPL, after a win and two draws this month, Ferguson is in a Secure position. Arsenal are second but are slowly closing the gap, as they got two wins and a draw this month, including a 3-1 triumph over Manchester United and a 2-2 draw at Stamford Bridge. Those two teams also find themselves in the Quarter Final, along with Liverpool and West Ham and Tottenham and Sunderland. Q.P.R.’s 1-0 extra-time win over Alan Irvine’s Stoke puts them through as the last remaining Championship team.

~~ ~~

Manager of the Update
It’s a shame that the final Manager of the Update award comes in a month when none of our managers are really doing much. Our two remaining managers in the World Cup, Neilio and Brettney Joven, limped out, and Tom Smith and Lord Weeman had nothing to do but make signings and play friendlies. I would reward Weeman for his ambitious spending, but it is equally possible to reward Smith for his relative austerity. The easiest person to give this award to is;

Maz Armley, Leeds and England under 19s (formerly of Racing)

for winning the European U19 Championship for the second year in a row. Armley’s side, despite losing to Italy in the group stage, won the tournament with a 1-0 win over the Italian juniors in the Final.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   6598
   2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Stable        6598
   3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid               6573
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese                   6370
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[PluckaDuck]

And then there were two

Good luck to the pair of you.

[Romanista1994]

And then there were two. Stupid retirement.

But I made the top three. \o/ Good luck to the remaining participants.

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners

  Update Winner, Club                
  Jan 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Feb 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 21 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 21 Saul Goode, Wales (formerly of Osasuna)
  Jul 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Aug 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Sep 21 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 21 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Dec 21 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Mar 22 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Apr 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 22 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 22 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Aug 22 Arnold J. Rimmer, Newcastle (formerly of Bolton)
  Sep 22 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Oct 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 22 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Dec 22 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Mar 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Apr 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 23 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jun 23 Tim Aubel, United States (formerly of Fulham)
  Jul 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Aug 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Sep 23 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 23 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 23 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 23 Tom Smith, Arsenal
  Jan 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Feb 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 24 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  May 24 Cool Manager, Inter (formerly of Atlético Madrid)
  Jun 24 Liam Ferguson, England (formerly of Man City)
  Jul 24 Neilio, Italy (formerly of Almería)
         Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 24 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Nov 24 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Dec 24 Haowan Madridstas, Barcelona
  Jan 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Feb 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Apr 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  May 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jun 25 Robert Boyle, Portsmouth and England under 21s (formerly of Blackburn)
  Jul 25 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Aug 25 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Sep 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Oct 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Nov 25 Tyler Burrows, Udinese
  Dec 25 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Jan 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Feb 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  Mar 26 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Apr 26 Lord Weeman, Napoli
  May 26 Lucas Volman, Real Madrid
  Jun 26 Brettney Joven, England (formerly of Wigan)
  Jul 26 Maz Armley, Leeds and England under 19s (formerly of Racing)

All Star Top Ten – Games Drawn at Current Club

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Drn Percent Chnge
   1st +1 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      201 (18.6%) +0.3% *
   2nd +1 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       193 (21.4%) -0.2% *
   3rd +3 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     127 (21.1%) +0.5%
   4th +3 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        114 (19.7%) +1.0%
   5th +5 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea       66 (18.4%) -0.3%
   6th NE Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis         63 (18.9%)  n/a
   7th NE super_lampard   Super Lampard     Lecce         Newcastle     17 (14.8%)  n/a
   8th NE m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Leeds         16 (16.8%)  n/a
   9th NE JSalter         James Salter      Reggina       Portsmouth    12 (44.4%)  n/a
  10th NE dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Palermo        9 (20.5%)  n/a

Lifespan – 5 to 10 Years

   Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days
   7th TaylorB              Ben Taylor          Fiorentina 3442
   8th fergysafc            Liam Ferguson       Man City   2783
   9th JSalter              James Salter        Reggina    2710
  10th mikeytwigge          Mikey Twigge        Palermo    2507
  11th BenArsenal           Ben Cee             Inter      2502
  12th super_lampard        Super Lampard       Lecce      2119
  13th Cardiovascular       Cardio Vascular     Genoa      2010
  14th Lower Leagues Rule   Jonte Rhodes        Lazio      1968

Lifespan – 2 to 5 Years

   Pos Username             Manager             Club       Days
  15th hasdgfas             Tim Aubel           Fulham     1705
  16th ~Ian~                Bryan McGuinness    Everton    1701
  17th rancer890            Ricky Nakano        Middlesbro 1614
  18th ssestig              Theo Stigarakis     Catania    1405
  19th bermybhoy            bermybhoy           Atalanta   1320
     - IlikeJellybeans      Jellybean Man       Numancia   1320
  21st m1234566778          Maz Armley          Racing     1288
  22nd el sid               Cool Manager        At. Madrid 1263
  23rd spartans5            Lawrence Lazewski   Valencia   1259
  24th Greasy Chip Butty    Andy Morton         Sporting   1244
  25th Martin_              Martin Bojangles    Hull       1241
  26th clrkaitken           Clark Aitken        Roma       1237
  27th Waghlon              Lars Tommersen      Villarreal 1230
  28th Walcott’s Wonderkids Brucie Bonus        West Brom  1210
  29th Almondo              Arnold J. Rimmer    Bolton     1208
  30th Neji                 Neji Hyuuga         Deportivo   999
  31st Jack Rudd            Lisa Jeffries       Juventus    925
  32nd pnefc22              Wobill Luman        Betis       889
  33rd AtilasMiserly        Will de Mote        A.C. Milan  882
  34th JoeLatics            Joe Gleeson         Espanyol    873
     - Blanco               Cristobal Blanco    Recreativo  873
  36th ian_1982             Maurice Jobson      Man United  852
  37th Ridleys              James Ridley        Siena       843

Lifespan – 1 to 2 Years

   Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days
  38th conners              Sirus Lannock       Málaga     628
  39th MikaelS              Mikael Schøler      Bologna    613
  40th Swafe                Saul Goode          Osasuna    551
  41st hamilton162          Tom Hamilton        Mallorca   509
  42nd kashmirshazad        Shazad Ali          Newcastle  508
  43rd DiscoStu94           Da Hoover Man       Sampdoria  501
     - ScottT!              Scott Tysoe         Sunderland 501
  45th canvey!!             Fréderico Canvey    Stoke      476

Lifespan – Less than 1 Year

   Pos Username             Manager             Club      Days
  46th corinthiano          Mathias Brunckhorst Chievo     327
     - Neilio               Neilio              Almería    327
  48th Robert_296           Robert Boyle        Blackburn  326
  49th brettney1980         Brettney Joven      Wigan      320
  50th TigerJoe             Joe Seddon          Getafe     271
  51st jack.browne          Jack Browne         Sevilla    250
  52nd NepentheZ            Neppo Monster       Cagliari   236
     - dafuge               dafuge              Torino     236
  54th KiddingChoc          Zach Machios        Portsmouth 235
     - Whoopy D             Whoopy D            West Ham   235
  56th d-machine            David Machine       Athletic   229
  57th PaulHartman71        Jeremy English      Liverpool  204
  58th Chimpos              Phill Ewles         Valladolid
     - tadr                 Andre da Conceiçao  Chelsea
     - markcator3006        Mark Cator          Aston Villa

[canvey!!]

Update 218
Years: 18, Months: 218, Days: 6629

The season is under way for our two managers. Let’s see how August panned out.

Tom Smith ’s Arsenal won all their games, which surprised me a little. After comprehensively beating Mikael Schøler’s Juventus in a friendly, they started their league campaign with a 4-0 win over newly-promoted Nottingham Forest and a 3-1 victory at Hillsborough. They then won 2-0 at Bristol City in the Carling Cup Third Round. They sit sixth, but all the teams above them have played three games, and no team has won all three. The Gunners start next month hosting James Ridley’s Man United, so they might not win all three either. After signing Portuguese player Baptista last month, Arsenal signed Portuguese player Baptista this month. This time it was Marco Baptista, who arrived from Olympiakos for £8.25M. Versatile Honduran fullback and midfielder Walter Díaz left the club after five years of service, signing for Leicester for £1.2M. In next month’s Carling Cup Third Round, Arsenal will host Kevin Ball’s Aston Villa. Maz Armley’s Leeds host Super Lampard’s Newcastle in the tie of the round.

Over in Italy, Lord Weeman’s Napoli have also made a good start to the season. After winning three and drawing one of their friendly matches this month, Napoli won the Italian Super Cup with a 1-0 victory at A.C. Milan, and started their league campaign with a similar win at home to Sampdoria. They travel back to Milan next month for their league match against Marco van Basten’s side. They have been handed a fairly tricky Champions League group, being drawn alongside Manolo Jiménez’s Real Madrid. Feyenoord and Basel are also in the group. Weeman continued his busy transfer window with two signings this month: 22-year-old Mexican striker Juan Pablo Valdés arrived from Boca for £16.75M, and leftback Giorgio Ferro also came to San Paolo, at the price of £4.2M each to Rimini and Parma. Last month’s goalkeeper signing Vincenzo Bucci left the club, going to Cádiz for £350k. The logic of the £650k loss escapes me.

With the transfer window now closed, the stage is set for an exciting new season with just two managers left! No nostalgia this month, as neither of our managers attracted any attention in Update 18.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   6629
   2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6629
   3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid               6573
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese                   6370
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

[canvey!!]

Manager of the Update – Previous Winners
A breakdown of Manager of the Update winners since January 2021.

20: Lord Weeman
15: Lucas Volman
10: Tyler Burrows
6: Tom Smith
5: Haowan Madridstas
3: Brettney Joven
2: Liam Ferguson
1: Maz Armley, Tim Aubel, Robert Boyle, Saul Goode, Cool Manager, Neilio, Arnold J. Rimmer

And so, an overall list of winners:

45: Lord Weeman
28: Lucas Volman
26: Haowan Madridstas
25: Tom Smith
22: Tyler Burrows
10: Liam Ferguson
9: Leo Dodge
8: Ben Taylor
4: Lawrence Lazewski, Mikey Twigge
3: Brucie Bonus, Brettney Joven, Super Lampard, Cool Manager
2: Clark Aitken, Tim Aubel, Robert Boyle, Ben Cee, Lisa Jeffries, Bryan McGuinness, Will de Mote, James Salter, Jonte Rhodes
1: Maz Armley, bermybhoy, Martin Bojangles, Mark Cator, Saul Goode, Neji Hyuuga, Maurice Jobson, Wobill Luman, Ricky Nakano, Neilio, Arnold J. Rimmer, Cardio Vascular
0: The other 25 managers

All Star Top Ten – Games Lost at Current Club

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Lst Percent Chnge
   1st +1 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       178 (19.7%) -0.3% *
   2nd +3 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      171 (15.8%) +1.9% *
   3rd +4 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     111 (18.4%) -1.2%
   4th +5 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter         78 (13.4%) +1.0%
   5th +5 Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis         77 (22.8%) -2.9%
   6th NE ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea       42 (11.6%)  n/a
   7th NE super_lampard   Super Lampard     Lecce         Newcastle     38 (31.7%)  n/a
   8th NE m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Leeds         32 (31.9%)  n/a
   9th NE dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Palermo       19 (40.4%)  n/a
  10th -9 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Roma          11 (31.4%) +6.2%

[el sid]

Unlucky Romanista

[canvey!!]

Update 219
Years: 18, Months: 219, Days: 6659

Lord Weeman ’s Napoli made a fine start to September, running out 4-0 victors in their away trip to A.C. Milan. That was one of three wins for the team in Serie A this month; they also beat Modena and Vicenza. They dropped their first points of the season with a goalless draw at Fiorentina, and currently sit 2nd in Serie A, behind leaders Mantova only on goals scored. They also made a good start to their Champions League campaign, winning 3-0 at home to Basel and drawing 1-1 at Real Madrid. Cool Manager’s Inter have made a shaky start to their Serie A campaign; they sit 8th, and lost two of their four games this month, including a 2-3 defeat away to Tyler Burrows’s Roma, who sit just above them.

Tom Smith ’s Arsenal, like Inter, lost 50% of their games this month. Although they got 3-0 wins over both Man United and Leicester, they fell to a 0-2 defeat at Everton and a 0-1 one at home to Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea. Chelsea are currently second in the league, behind leaders Tottenham on goal difference. Arsenal are fourth. Super Lampard has made the worst start of any of our former managers: his Newcastle side sit 15th with five points from six games. Arsenal won in the Carling Cup this month, beating visitors Aston Villa 3-1 and so advancing to the Fourth Round, where they’ll meet newly-promoted Sheffield United. Newcastle won the tie of the round 2-1 at Maz Armley’s Leeds, but they did need extra time to do so. They’ll have an easier tie this time round, at home to Southend. Chelsea play Liverpool, and Everton play Tottenham.

International teams have now started their campaign to qualify for Euro 2028. Brettney Joven’s England, fresh from a poor World Cup, made an indifferent start to theirs, drawing 3-3 away to Serbia. Hull attacking midfielder Sean Clarke, in his England début, scored two goals. Finland, FYR Macedonia, San Marino and Montenegro join England in what is quite an easy group. The only other member of the Dream Team to play a competitive match was Robert Boyle, whose under 21s beat Italy 3-1 and Northern Ireland 6-0 in qualifying for the European U21 Championship. Winning the group, they enter the playoffs to face Russia. Fréderico Canvey’s Spain, who also had a poor World Cup, started their qualifying campaign solidly, with a 4-0 home win over Bosnia & Herzegovina. Scotland, Bulgaria and the Faroe Islands are also in their group. Neilio’s Italy went one better than Spain, beating Moldova 5-0. Iceland, Northern Ireland, Luxembourg and Ukraine join Italy and Moldova in Group B. Sweden will host the tournament in two summers’ time. Australia, by the way, will host the 2030 World Cup, the centenary edition, and four years after that it heads to Greece.

So, some pretty decent starts to the season for our two managers. But is there impending doom on the horizon? We’ll see. We’ll see.

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 19

Over to Italy now, where Lisa Jeffries, as you know, maintains Juventus’ grip on the league top spot. However, she lies only two points clear of her rival competitor Inter, a situation that developed after damaging and convincing losses to A.C. Milan and Fiorentina this month. Livorno, Roma and Theo Stigarakis’s Catania were seen off in other matches, and a draw came against Atalanta, but Jeffries will have to stay focused if she want her team to claim the Scudetto. Lord Weeman’s Napoli are in 9th, and had a varying month, winning against Livorno, Catania and Fiorentina, losing against Parma and Atalanta and drawing against Mikey Twigge’s Palermo. The Italian Cup Quarter Final took place this month, with Lazio knocking out Sampdoria 3-0, and Will de Mote’s A.C. Milan knocking out Genoa 3-1. Inter are also through, as are Ben Taylor’s Fiorentina who have had a poor month. Obviously they beat Juventus, and they also beat Lecce, but the loss to Napoli was joined by losses to Inter, Reggina and Siena. The team are in 7th.

~~ ~~

Over to England now, where Tom Smith’s Arsenal have wrestled control of top spot, and the three Premier League newcomers all find themselves in the drop zone, the best of them six points adrift of safety. Despite a couple of difficult games this month, Smith has taken the Gunners to top spot after four consecutive wins scoring four goals, including the cup one over Wrexham. Liam Ferguson’s Manchester City, who have dropped to third, were seen off 4-1, Fulham were seen off 4-2 and Middlesbrough were seen off 4-1. The month started with a 2-2 draw at Anfield. Brucie Bonus’s West Brom are in trouble in 16th place, but relegation looks absolutely avoidable, although they lost badly to Man City and to Portsmouth this month, picking up four points in their other two games. Bryan McGuinness’s Everton are stranded in 9th, having had an average month, winning one, drawing two and losing one. They also beat Northampton 3-0 away in the FA Cup Fourth Round and sold Colin Kazim-Richards to Napoli for £3.1M. Tottenham will face Chelsea in the League Cup final after Spurs knocked out Sunderland and Chelsea knocked out Rafa Benítez’s Liverpool in the two-legged Semi Final.

~~ ~~

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   6659
   2nd weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Secure        6659
   3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid               6573
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese                   6370
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

All Star Top Ten – Goals Scored at Current Club

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Goals (Pr/G) Chnge
   1st +1 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal       2315 (2.13) -0.06 *
   2nd +2 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli        1678 (1.84) -0.01 *
   3rd +3 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter         1195 (2.03) -0.05
   4th +3 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus      1083 (1.78) +0.02
   5th +3 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea        753 (2.04) -0.07
   6th +3 Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis          691 (2.02) +0.10
   7th NE super_lampard   Super Lampard     Lecce         Newcastle      200 (1.60)  n/a
   8th NE m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Leeds          166 (1.57)  n/a
   9th NE dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Palermo         98 (1.88)  n/a
  10th NE Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Tottenham       72 (1.85)  n/a
     - -5 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Roma            72 (1.80) +0.11

[canvey!!]

Update 220
Years: 18, Months: 220, Days: 6690

In England, Tom Smith’s Arsenal are doing their best to banish the ghosts of last season. The Gunners sit third, eight places above last summer’s finish, and, although signs of weakness were evident this month, they are performing strongly. They beat Ipswich and Sheffield United this month, and won away in the North London derby, albeit with a goal in the 90+3rd minute. They drew goalless at fourth-placed Hull, but lost at home to Super Lampard’s Newcastle, this too to a late winner. But the Magpies are 14th and Lampard is Very Insecure.

Over in Italy, will the fifteen-year wait for the Scudetto end for Napoli fans? Although it’s early days, and second-placed Mantova have a game in hand, Lord Weeman’s side lead Serie A by five points. In October, they beat Bologna, Rimini, Ascoli and Genoa, and drew with Tyler Burrows’s Roma. In the Champions League, they beat their Dutch visitors Feyenoord 4-0, with a hattrick from club favourite Mattia Silvestri, started in the 1st minute and ended in the 90+2nd.

There was more international football this month, with European sides vying to qualify for Euro 2028. Fréderico Canvey’s Spain won 2-1 in Bulgaria, while Neilio’s Italy played two away games, losing to Northern Ireland but beating Ukraine. Both sides are second in their groups, behind Scotland and Northern Ireland respectively. Brettney Joven’s England were resplendent this month, winning 3-1 away to FYR Macedonia, and beating San Marino 7-0 at Wembley. As for the rest of the Dream Team; Maz Armley’s under 19s beat San Marino 5-0 in an U19 International, while Robert Boyle’s under 21s secured qualification for the European U21 Championship in Sweden, following up a goalless draw in Saturn with a 4-0 home win over their playoff opponents Russia.

Mikael Schøler at Juventus, Super Lampard at Newcastle, and James Salter at Portsmouth all have one in common. They are all listed as Very Insecure, and perhaps next month, they will all lose their jobs.

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 20

February has passed with little to phone home about, and all of our managers remain in their jobs as the end-of-season really dawns on them. Tom Smith’s Arsenal still lead the Premier League, holding a slender two-point advantage over Manchester City and having played a game less. This month they beat Hull and Sunderland but fell 2-3 at Fratton Park. However, they have fared well in cup competitions, knocking Mark Cator’s Aston Villa out of the FA Cup in the 5th Round 2-1, and tallying up the same score in the first, away, leg of the Champions League Knockout stages against PSV Eindhoven. City, under the management of Englishman Liam Ferguson, fell a point behind the Gunners after winning one and drawing twice, but they too won in both the FA Cup 5th Round and the Champions League First Knockout Round First Leg.

~~ ~~

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   6690
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   6690
   3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid               6573
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese                   6370
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

All Star Top Ten – Goals Conceded at Current Club

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Gls (Pr/G) Chnge
   1st +1 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      981 (0.90) +0.04 *
   2nd +3 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       770 (0.84) -0.03 *
   3rd +3 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     498 (0.81) -0.04
   4th +3 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        435 (0.73) +0.02
   5th +3 Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis        361 (1.03) -0.09
   6th +4 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      255 (0.68) -0.04
   7th NE super_lampard   Super Lampard     Lecce         Newcastle    151 (1.14)  n/a
   8th NE m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Leeds        125 (1.11)  n/a
   9th -6 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Roma          63 (1.40) +0.47
  10th NE dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Palermo       61 (1.05)  n/a

[canvey!!]

Update 221
Years: 18, Months: 221, Days: 6720

Lord Weeman’s Napoli still lead Serie A, and fans are anticipating that any day now they will begin their traditional fall from the top. They may have started it already, losing their first game of the season in November. They beat Inter, Atalanta and Juventus this month, before losing 1-2 at dafuge’s Palermo, a real scalp for the former Portsmouth boss. In the Champions League, Napoli secured a Last 16 place with a 2-1 win at Feyenoord and a 4-1 win at Basel. Real Madrid got two 3-0 home victories over those teams this month, and are also through.

In England, it looks like we have a title race on our hands, and it looks like Tom Smith’s Arsenal are involved! They trail Premier League leaders Chelsea by just two points, fifteen games into the season. In November, Arsenal lost 1-3 at Roberto Mancini’s resurgent Man City, before getting 3-2 victories over both Liverpool and Fulham, and then thrashing Derby 8-0. Libyan Redouane Bacha and Swede Johan Andersson both got braces. In the Carling Cup, the Gunners beat visiting Sheffield United 4-1, which gives them a Quarter Final with Martin Bojangles’s Tottenham. In the FA Cup Third Round in January, they will travel to Bury, while Manchester City play Manchester United.

I left you last month with the names of three managers in trouble at their clubs. Two of them will live to manage another day. At Juventus, Mikael Schøler won two, drew one and lost one, and navigated them one place up the table to eighth. He remains Very Insecure. At Portsmouth, James Salter also picked up seven points from twelve, and has moved up to Stable. At Newcastle, Super Lampard lost 0-3 at home to Everton before getting sacked. The former Ipswich boss was replaced by Sheffield United’s Alberto Pazos, and Adrian Boothroyd filled the vacancy at Bramall Lane. This month, the new head on the chopping block is Maz Armley’s: Leeds are 11th in the Premier League, and, although the new chairman decided not to bring in Phill Ewles after his takeover in the summer, Armley may be going if he cannot turn things around.

In international football this month, teams were playing friendly games. Brettney Joven’s England beat visitors Ukraine 3-0. Robert Boyle’s under 21s won their respective match 3-2, and Maz Armley’s under 19s won theirs 2-0, with two goals from Arsenal youngster Dale Thompson. Neilio’s Italy travelled to Israel and won 5-0, with a hattrick from Valencia captain Juri Rigamonti. Tim Aubel’s United States won 3-0 in the Cayman Islands.

Christmas is coming, and there will be nothing our managers will want more than a good month to help them towards that title aim.

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   6720
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   6720
   3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid               6573
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese                   6370
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

All Star Top Ten – Highest Goal Difference at Current Club

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club GlDif
   1st +1 tomsmith1989    Tom Smith         Arsenal       Arsenal      +1351 *
   2nd +2 weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli       + 929 *
   3rd +2 el sid          Cool Manager      At. Madrid    Inter        + 771
   4th +3 MikaelS         Mikael Schøler    Bologna       Juventus     + 600
   5th +3 ~Ian~           Bryan McGuinness  Everton       Chelsea      + 521
   6th +4 Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis        + 358
   7th NE Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Tottenham    +  52
   8th NE m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Leeds        +  51
   9th NE Ridleys         James Ridley      Siena         Man United   +  50
  10th NE dafuge          dafuge            Torino        Palermo      +  49

[el sid]

Another poor season
Got the second highest goals/game ratio though

[canvey!!]

Update 222
Years: 18, Months: 222, Days: 6751

As we enter the new year, both of our managers lead their respective leagues. It makes you think that 60 to One will never end. Let’s see how they did over the Christmas period, starting in England.

Tom Smith ’s Arsenal won four of their six games in December, drawing one and losing one of the other two. They beat Leeds, Portsmouth, Middlesbrough and Sheffield Wednesday, with the 3-0 win at Fratton Park being the best of the lot, since James Salter’s Pompey currently sit ninth. An away loss to sixth-placed Aston Villa isn’t too surprising, but an away draw to 17th-placed Nottingham Forest is disappointing. Arsenal left the Carling Cup this month after a 1-2 home defeat to Martin Bojangles’s Tottenham in the Quarter Final. Tottenham, alongside Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea, are one point behind the Gunners in the league, and Chelsea have a game in hand. In the Carling Cup Semi-Finals, Spurs will meet Newcastle while Portsmouth play Championship Bolton.

Over in Italy, Napoli’s lead is a lot more comfortable. Lord Weeman’s side have a six-point advantage over second-placed Mantova, and all sides in Serie A have played seventeen games. In December, Napoli beat Udinese and Frosinone, and drew away to Mantova. They also met Frosinone in the Coppa Italia First Round, winning 1-0. Atalanta, who ousted Catania on penalties, await in the Quarter Final at San Paolo. Mikael Schøler’s Juventus remain eighth, but the Dane has moved up to Insecure. In December, they won twice and lost once.

Napoli ended their Champions League group with a good result, beating Real Madrid 1-0. This put them through as group winners, with Real following in second place. They’ve got another Spanish Giant to contend with next, facing a Last 16 tie against Barcelona. Real Madrid face Bayern Munich, while Porto play Zaragoza, and A.C. Milan play Man City. All the other ties contain at least one of our former managers: Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea play Atlético Madrid, Martin Bojangles’s Tottenham meet Theo Stigarakis’s Rangers, Mikael Schøler’s Juventus meet Ajax, and Cool Manager’s Inter play James Ridley’s Manchester United. European football starts again in February.

In the meantime, the transfer window opens. But do our managers need to spend any money? It looks like they’ve got things pretty good at the moment.

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 22

Tom Smith’s Arsenal retain top spot despite a 0-2 defeat to already-relegated Ipswich. They are two points ahead of Manchester City with a game in hand. Chelsea and Crystal Palace were beaten this month, as well as of course Benfica and Liverpool in the cups, and there was also a 2-2 draw at home to Newcastle. Smith faces West Ham in his final home league game of the season, before that all-important Manchester United match followed by an away trip to Brucie Bonus’s West Brom. Bonus’s worries are behind him as it is now impossible for his 15th-place team to get relegated, as Ipswich, Crystal Palace and Birmingham have already saturated the drop zone and will be playing in the Championship next season. The disappointment of the month was for Ricky Nakano, whose Middlesbrough team sunk from 7th to 12th with heavy losses to Tottenham and Everton.

~~ ~~

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   6751
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   6751
   3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid               6573
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese                   6370
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

All Star Top Ten – Lowest Goal Difference at Current Club

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club GlDif
   1st +9 TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Lazio          - 6
   2nd NE PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Roma           +11
   3rd -1 JSalter         James Salter      Reggina       Portsmouth     +15
   4th +2 ssestig         Theo Stigarakis   Catania       Rangers        +23
   5th -1 Robert_296      Robert Boyle      Blackburn     Udine/ENG u21s +41
   6th +1 dafuge          dafuge            Torino       Palermo/ENG u20 +49
   7th +1 m1234566778     Maz Armley        Racing        Leeds/ENG u19s +52
   8th -5 Ridleys         James Ridley      Siena         Man United     +54
   9th NE Martin_         Martin Bojangles  Hull          Tottenham      +66
  10th NE Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis         +367

[canvey!!]

Update 223
Years: 18, Months: 223, Days: 6782

It’s crunch time in the 2026-27 season, so let’s see how our managers fared in January.

Tom Smith’s Arsenal have been knocked off the top spot in the Premier League, and are now floundering somewhat in second place. Bryan McGuinness’s Chelsea won their game in hand, and so overtook the Gunners. The Blues then won their next three games, while Arsenal dropped two points in a draw with Leicester. At the end of the month, the two teams met at Chelsea Stadium, and McGuinness’s side put themselves seven points clear at the top with a 3-0 win. Arsenal’s victories this month came against Man United and Everton. The Gunners also booked their place in the FA Cup Fifth Round, beating Bury 5-1 in the Third Round, and Birmingham 4-0 in the Fourth Round. A place in the Last Eight is almost guaranteed – Arsenal host Championship Reading or League 1 Hartlepool next. Chelsea travel to Man City.

In Italy, Lord Weeman’s title campaign continues to go swimmingly, and he has extended Napoli’s lead over Mantova to nine points. In January, the team started with a loss at Catania, but beat Lazio, Sampdoria, A.C. Milan and Modena. Surprisingly, dafuge’s Palermo sit 3rd, with A.C. Milan fourth. Mikael Schøler’s Juventus have had a good month and sit fifth, level on 39 points with Inter. Schøler is still Insecure, but he looks to be out of the woods more or less. In the Coppa Italia this month, Napoli beat visitors Atalanta 3-0, booking them a place in the Semi-Final. There, they’ll play Cool Manager’s Inter. In the other Semi, Robert Boyle’s Udinese face Mantova.

January is, as we know, transfer month. Tom Smith made two new signings, while selling a player. Middlesbrough’s 24-year-old Northern Irish midfielder Kyle Davis arrived for £7M, and Derby’s Irish attacking midfielder Andy Withe joined for £11.25M. Barcelona bought Russian centreback Andrey Mitin for £4.9M. Lord Weeman made one signing, weaking title rivals Mantova by buying their left winger Carmine Fusco for £13.25M. The biggest transfer of the month was Barcelona’s £25.5M purchase of Fulham’s Spanish midfielder José Ángel, while Tyler Burrows at Roma signed four-and-a-half players for a combined total of £54M, raising just £7M through sales.

Can Napoli keep their first place until the end of the season? Can Arsenal keep themselves together and stay in the top four? Only time will tell.

~~ Nostalgia ~~

Update 23

We’ll start with the Premier League, which concluded first. Martin Bojangles’s Hull suffered a very poor month losing 0-3 at home to already-relegated Birmingham and then falling 0-2 at Goodison Park. Still, in the end, the Tigers enjoyed a nice 10-point cushion over 18th-placed Birmingham. Of course, you are more interested in things at the top, where Tom Smith’s Arsenal claimed the title in slightly lacklustre form, with a 1-0 win and two 1-1 draws this month, but it was enough. After 4-3 aggregate progress in the Champions League Semi Final against Lyon, he now has two finals to look forward to in the pursuit of a treble. Second-placed Manchester City were three points behind the Gunners in the end, concluding their season with a win against Crystal Palace and a draw against 9th-placed Newcastle.

~~ ~~

The match was at the Bernabéu, which meant a significantly smaller travelling distance for Haowan Madridstas’s Barcelona. The match looked quite steady and controlled in front of its 75,000 spectators, but in 3 minutes Barcelona certainly had the advantage, as Henry’s 30th minute goal was added to by Yaya Touré in the 33rd. Arsenal did little in response, and Barcelona ran out 3-0 winners with Thierry Henry adding a second in the 58th minute.

~~ ~~

Wembley was full but for one person, and Tom Smith was eager to avoid the 0-3 drubbing he was going to receive in the Champions League final. Maurice Jobson knew that a bad performance here could result in his dismissal, but a win would put him so much closer to security. Cristiano Ronaldo opened the scoring in the 29th minute to give the Red Devils the lead. Carlos Tevez converted a penalty in the 37th minute and the misery was completed in the 83rd minute when Tevez scored again to give United the win. Two finals, two 0-3 losses, but a title to ease the pain of Tom Smith and his Arsenal supporters.

~~ ~~

Job Securities

  Rank Username             Manager             Club        Security      Days
   1st tomsmith1989         Tom Smith           Arsenal     Very Secure   6782
     - weeeman27bob         Lord Weeman         Napoli      Very Secure   6782
   3rd Romanista1994        Lucas Volman        Real Madrid               6573
   4th PluckaDuck           Tyler Burrows       Udinese                   6370
   5th Haowan               Haowan Madridstas   Barcelona                 6224
   6th SCIAG                Leo Dodge           Tottenham                 3800

All Star Top Six – Oldest Managers (I’m gradually reducing these tables to Top Fives – managers leaving the table won’t be replaced until only five are listed)

   Pos +- Username        Manager           Original Club Current Club Age
   1st +4 SCIAG           Leo Dodge         Tottenham                   65
   2nd +3 BenArsenal      Ben Cee           Inter                       64
   3rd +5 PluckaDuck      Tyler Burrows     Udinese       Roma          63
   4th +4 Waghlon         Lars Tommersen    Villarreal    Betis         62
     - +4 TaylorB         Ben Taylor        Fiorentina    Lazio         62
     - NE weeeman27bob    Lord Weeman       Napoli        Napoli        62 *