Things we now know in Football thanks to FM09

1. Gomes for Tottenham will be a GREAT keeper ( and in my game was in team of the year TWICE!!!)

2. Despite a multi-million £ strike partnership of world-class strikers they will miss 75% of clear cut chances against the majority of weak clubs

3. Carlos Vela WILL be worth £34m in two years....

4. Arsenal REALLY are that good IRL......

5. DO NOT EVER let your ass. man take over your media questions as he will at some point praise the team/players you really REALLY need to beat.....

6. If you get bored let your ass. man take over your media questions as recommended by people on this forum

7. The UFC/MMA (full contact sports) is safer than Premier League football

8. Sell all your crap to Man City as they WILL buy it off you at stupid prices

9. Raid Man City for all your footballing needs, they usually have too many players and will sell most at a considerable loss despite the player only being there for 6 months. But, hey, they can afford it right?....

10. The referee/linesman/referee's ass CAN NOT count. 4 mins of stoppage time actually means a hell of a lot more due to the referee's inability to add up!!!

11. Players will be out for months NOT weeks with facial lacerations + Leg lacerations. Leading to the problem that ALL premiership players carry a concealed weapon

12. Breaking some part of the leg is not an injury BUT a fashion statement and if you are NOT careful you will end up with about 4 of your first team in fashion heaven

13. A player with 12 acc and 12 pace with 53% condition can AND will outrun a player of your team with 15 acc and 16 pace with 91% condition

14. NO BODY EVER takes drugs in football but training can seriously damage your health

15. DO NOT trust anybody. EVER!!! especially when your "best friend" and most trusted advisor, the ass. man, tells you to regularly sub off your potential Man of the Match

16. According to the match report/stats a player can get tackled and injured despite NEVER actually touching the ball. Foul, anybody? (see no 11.)

17. A player can at anytime be booked for a tackle in under 2 mins despite never actually touching the ball NOR commiting any foul OR attempted tackle!!!!

18. Chelsea are actually crap IRL and are regularly "destroyed" by Arsenals young guns

19. Buy expensive defenders because they wont listen to your instructions AT ALL when playing for your team but better to have good players not listen, than crap ones right?

20. If a good player for another club stays in the reserves (Mata for Valencia for eg.) and plays 12 reserve games in 3 years his value will TRIPLE!! If you drop a crap player for 3 weeks in your team he will usually demand a transfer

Please feel free to add anymore, AND for the mods im only trying to lighten the mood

if you're not taking this thread all that seriously (which i'm not) it's rather amusing

21. No one is getting a new stadium before at least 2013.

22. Tom Hicks is going to sell up at Liverpool (hopefully)

23. People write stupid posts on the internet

Gomes really is a great keeper. Cech's the only keeper in the UK that's a lot better.

24. have 14-15 shots on target with the worlds best strikers and lose 1-0 to a 93rd minute goal (their only shot)

10. The referee/linesman/referee's ass CAN NOT count. 4 mins of stoppage time actually means a hell of a lot more due to the referee's inability to add up!!!

minimum added-on time.

25. try every single tactic possible aginst arsenal AI and still lose 3 or 4-0 per game

23. People write stupid posts on the internet

26. People writing stupid posts on the internet telling of people writing stupid posts on the net. Er, pot + kettle spring to mind...

Lighten up this is NOT a serious thread, NOR is it a dig at any specific player/ team.

26. watch as your team captain defender with high work rate and off the ball. stands still for 5 seconds whilst a striker on the ai runs past and scores his 1st goal of the season

27. read the ass mans match report where he says we need to close the line between our defenders and midfield every game even after you've tryed every defensive tactic possible

28. pull your hair out as you watch yet another shot hit the bar the 3rd of the game and it's only the 1st half

We have also learned:

1) Clear cut 1 on 1 chances are the least probable to produce goals than any other situation. Create a tactic that gives too many 1 on 1 chances to the opponent and you will never lose.

2) The smallest injury in football is almost always 1 month.

3) In throw ins the striker comes to get the ball despite being told not to. This is a mystical way of breaking defenses.

4) No player costs as much as it says on his tag. This is a super ninja technique of economic misdirection.

5) Long shots do not happen in football.

6) Long shots are 9/10 the only way to attack in football.

7) Defenders always follow the attacking wingers and letting them cross without any pressure. This is the invite-in tactic.

8) Set pieces are always affected by air and almost never have any realistic placement or trajectory. Players are also affected since they are never in the place they have been instructed to be.

9) Offsides come from a different timeline. They are always called extremely late.

10) You can never win against a bottom table team while you are in the first place, haven't conceded in 10 matches, have excellent morale and value of players around 100m. This is a law that can't be affected even by a reload sometimes.

11) The best player of the year is always decided based on some secret knowledge that we mortals can't understand and has nothing to do with average ratings or titles.

12) A player that has played one game and got an 8 is always on top of your super star striker that played 60 matches with an average rating of 7.62. It's pretty clear that you made the wrong transfer.

read the ass mans match report where he says we need to close the line between our defenders and midfield every game even after you've tryed every defensive tactic possible

Set your cb's mentality sliders to within 4 notches of your cm's mentality = problem solved:thup:

For a gap between midfield and forwards, set cm and st mentality to within 4 notches and you wont have any gaps.

we now know that most players have the brains of 10 year old with altzeimers

if you're not taking this thread all that seriously (which i'm not) it's rather amusing

Actually I take this one seriously as it happened to me a lot in previous FMs and happened for at least 2 of Real Madrid's players in 09 :|

20. If a good player for another club stays in the reserves (Mata for Valencia for eg.) and plays 12 reserve games in 3 years his value will TRIPLE!! If you drop a crap player for 3 weeks in your team he will usually demand a transfer

We All Know Know that XP Is ****!

We All Know Know that XP Is ****!

know know know konw know know know know know theres no limit :D:D:D

A player with high penalty rating willmiss everyone he takes but there goalkeeper scores

13. A player with 12 acc and 12 pace with 53% condition can AND will outrun a player of your team with 15 acc and 16 pace with 91% condition

this is true

Mario Balotelli is a greedy little teenager (claims to not be interested in signing for anyone in the first transfer window until you offer him £70k/week and £1.2mil signing fee)

Linesmen are the most curious of all football officials and will wait for your striker to shoot before calling offside, just to see if it would have been a goal.

We now know that, in light of Everton's recent deal with FM, the club'll be buying youngsters who FM considers soon-to-be world class only for these players to, in reality, turn out to be mediocre.

@ Kain, I'd say that Shay Given is much better than Gomes is at present and I'm sure many people would agree. Heck even Jaaskelainen outperforms Gomes the majority of the time.

Derby are gonna disappear from league football altogether by 2013

21. No one is getting a new stadium before at least 2013.

Except Portsmouth

29. We all have to much time on our hands playing a footie game and browse these forums at the same time.

30. That nemanja vidic will outscore robinho in all competitions...seriously

Apparently when you instruct a player to disturb a GK during a corner and take said corner in a way to produce a near post flick on, said corner will almost always result in a goal.

FIFA has suggested this method not to be used for a more realistic experience and also because it can't be fixed.

Managers are baffled.

A striker who is in an offside position, but shoots before it is called, will never miss the target.

Yet that very same striker will never score from the exact same position when he is onside

(I'm playing to the mood of the thread)

All footballers are exactly the same height and they only win headers because they can jump higher than someone else!

A striker who is in an offside position, but shoots before it is called, will never miss the target.

Yet that very same striker will never score from the exact same position when he is onside

(I'm playing to the mood of the thread)

Like this one people; funny yet true!!!

That players can gracefully move across the pitch without the need to move their legs. Levitation is here people!

31. You are beating a team 3-0 late in the match, in the 86th minute your opponent decides they want to win. At full time you have lost 4-3.

If you are 1-0 up at the half against a team you 'really should beat', no force of defensive tactics will stop you from losing points to a 30-yard screamer in extra time.

299. in 15 or so years, a team that previously wasn't even in the BSS/BSN, will win the League and Champions League

23. People write stupid posts on the internet

Meeting stupid people on the internet.

32. That your top scorer in the league will be a defender.

A striker who is in an offside position, but shoots before it is called, will never miss the target.

Yet that very same striker will never score from the exact same position when he is onside

(I'm playing to the mood of the thread)

Too true

21. No one is getting a new stadium before at least 2013.

22. Tom Hicks is going to sell up at Liverpool (hopefully)

That is not true spl side st. mirren move in to a new stadium in january of 2009

33. Your players are playing a secret game of who can hit the woodwork the most in one season and have NOT let you in on their secret

34. 12 CLEAR CUT CHANCES with Messi, Rooney, Bojan, Ronaldo and Tevez are NO match for "who's he?" on loan in goal for Accrington Stanley as yet ANOTHER keeper gets man of the match against you

35. You can get ARTHRITIS from training, just ask my £24m pound signing Keirisson

I thought the game was who can miss the most clear cut chances

36. Your top class strikers are also playing a secret game of trying to knock the opposing goalkeeper into his own net by shooting at him when through 1-on-1.

37. If you try to substitute a striker for a defensive player when you are only 1 goal ahead, the opposition will score while he is getting changed but you must still make the substitution.

Lovin' this idea skingegg!

37. Your oh-so-intelligent supporters will flame you when the 15 year-old youth you purchased for one thousand quid is not your star player after 6 weeks

38. After winning more trophies than Sir Alex and being undefeated in your entire managerial career, the 9.2.0 media will label you 'under pressure'

39. Your players will get injured for a month if they pick up a knock - however any oppo player will only get a tiny reduction in finess.

40. Players scoring against you will be ending huge barren spells.

41. Your world-class centre backs are, without a shadow of a doubt, mentally ********.

42. Row Z is the row closest to the pitch.

43. The "Top 4" Are going to keep the same defence till they all retire to a nursing home

44. Your Staff can leave without telling you there going

45. Top players dont know when there past their best and its time to accept you can be a 1st team regular at 36!

46. Witton Albion WILL be in League one by 2014

This thread is quite funny tbh

47. Arsenal WILL win the Quadrupel TWICE within five years because they are THAT good IRL

This thread is quite funny tbh

And sad at the same time.