Dec7's Celtic SOMS

John & Dec walked out of the LMA's college one bitter Novemember day official managers.

Not just any Novemember day the 22nd, in 2006.

John & Dec were two of the best managers ever trained there, so said the dean.

Now they sit at their flat, packing their bags and filling at application forms for jobs at the highest levels of football.

Chelsea, Barcelona, England all turned down.

So the search continues.

Boring tasks, they soak up days of our lives.

But, for me years.

On the internet every day looking for a job to apply to then, Printing out my CV 100 billion times, not only that but, it feels like we have our own postman with all the letters we send.

Sometimes we get no replies and if we do it is one saying we aren't good enough; I will find a job and so will John; I know it and we are going to do well, I know it.

'Celtic Manager; Strachan today has left the club after a rumoured bust up with the keeper Arthur Boruc, rumours emerged after the Polish keeper stormed out of training yesterday.'

The Tv Boomed, immediately snapping my attention.

'Strachan said in the final press conference "I am sad to be leaving a club which, I had many trophies with but I feel I need a new challenge and I look forward to getting a new club, however I am in no rush to get one."'

I ponder for a minute then print yet another CV off.

I feel I can get this job.

I am not going to tell John I applied for this, I want to get the job at one of the best clubs in the world.

Couple of Days later after I sent my 'plee' - in the form of an application and I got an reply.

The envolope was plain but, had a little Celtic crest on the bottom, right corner.

I was shaking hoping it wasn't a no but in my heart I kind of knew it would be.

Tearing it slowly, with my eyes half shut.

Soon, I take it out.

Skim read the details.

Get to the Important Part.

It is a YES!

I jump up like, a stark raven Hobo after winning the Lottery.

I countinue to read on.

'I am pleased to inform you, Mr Barry we like your apllication and think you are suitable for the job.

The Chairman would like to meet you for an interview and regards to contract neogotiations aswell, as your targets and the budget you will have.

This will take place on Thursday 17th June 2007 at 11am GMT at Celtic Park - Glasgow.

Congratulations and we look forward to seeing you.

Miss Marie Jones (P.A to Celtic Football Club)'

I have got my first job in Football subject to a few minor things.

this is not with a team like Burton Albion, this is the big time - Celtic FC.

Bring it on.

Pulling into the Stadium in my Crappy little Ford KA feels special as it is silent; Dead in fact.

The meeting is at 11am, it is 9:45am - Plenty of time.

I browse the club store then, head inside at 10:15am, at the desk, there is a Pretty, Blonde women.

I explain who I am to her and she shows me down a big hallway with the trophies, the Scottish club have won.

Stopping about 3/4s the way down she points to the door.

She Knocks for me and says to this Short, Ginger man who I am and he immediately scurries me through the door.

Sitting Down he gives me a quick Q&A of my life and qualifications.

Looking impressed with my answers he asks why I want this job.

I explain to him,

'Well, I supported Celtic as a boy; die to my Catholic upbringing and it would be an honour to manage one of the best clubs in Europe.'

He asks me what my targets are, I hesitate for a bit then give him an answer which could make any Chairman happy,

'I want to bring Trophies to Celtic Park.'

After a moment of Silence, he Congratulates me saying,

'I feel you are suitable for the job, let us Discuss your contract.'

After about 30 minutes of negotiating we came upon a deal to delight the Celtic fans everywhere.

'35k per year and a big transfer budget which can bring in Players of the highest quality?'

he repeats feeling reassured about it being done.

'Deal, Sir'

I reply happy with myself.

I walk out with a feeling happy with myself and that I have got my first job in management.

Tomorrow, I will be unveiled but tonight I find a Hotel and ring John to tell him the good news.

Press and Fans gather in the stadium to see who the new manager is; me.

Noone has a clue the man driving in the KA is the new manager, they don't glance at me.

I park in a spot nearest the fire exit, ya know, just in case .

I go in calm and collective ready to be unveiled and have the appointment questioned by fans & media alike but, I will not be the new Avram Grant of Celtic, I have waited my whole life for this. I am NOT going to *bleep* it up now.

Walking in the hallway again the receptionist lets me pass into the office as the media and fans look at me like I am breaking in.

Well later they will be surprised.

12:45 comes and we are walking out of the tunnel, flashes go off from the photographers and murmurs seem oh so load.

Getting onto the pitch I am presented a shirt and Mr.McGeary shakes my hand.

I have done it now and everyone is staring at me like saying:

'Who is he?' or 'WTF?'

Being the gaffer in the biggest club in Scotland will be hard, but I am ready.

Many people gather in the illustrious place where Strachen gave those famous speeches as if he was MLK back in his time.

So Now I am having to do the same.

Hello, one and all.

I am Dec Barry and I am proud to be the new manager of Celtic Fc, they are a great club and I hope to do well with them.

Many of you maybe doubting this appointment but I assure you, I will be no joke and I hope to win trophies for the club, staff, chairman BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY the FANS.

I want to bring world class players from all over the globe to Celtic FC, I feel the bank budget is near infinite or so says Mr McGeary.

I feel with this and FIFA taking out the transfer windows, I can have a great team full of youth and experience to bring back the football Celtic Park has longed for.

Thank you and I cannot wait to start and bring the Trophies home.

I take a sip of water and leave with the Mr McGeary behind.

I hope I have made a good impact, that is up to the press tomorrow.

i sware ive seen this befor-on neo

Yes, you have.

I am doing it again on SI .

... Erm, why?

Because, I fancy doing a Celtic game again (:.