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The X Factor - FM Edition, Series 1 – So, Do You Have The X Factor?


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The X Factor - FM Edition, Series 1 – Lets Get Cracking!

Hello and welcome to The X Factor – FM Edition, I am your host, Gary Lineker, and I’m here with my non-biased friends Alan Hansen and Alan Shearer. At the end of each Audition day in each city, we will be having a little re-cap of events and discuss who we thinks got it, and who we think hasn’t.

Without further ado, let’s explain the first Audition stage.

Stage 1 – First Impressions

Stage one of the auditions are based entirely on first impressions, lets have David, Steve and Jose explain this more clearly.

David B: I’m sure you will all remember last seasons FA Cup, when Havant and Waterlooville famously reached the third round and nearly upset Liverpool at Anfield. After the FA Cup run I purchased shares in Havant and Waterlooville, as you are all currently BBS/BSN level players I have struck a deal with the team. Each of you will get to separately star in a Havant and Waterlooville pre-season friendly (Re-loading the database each time).

Steve R: In this friendly we are going to be able to judge if you are good enough to one day be a star, if you can’t cut it at this level, then you’re never going to be a star.

Jose: I look forward to seeing you all in action.

Each player will have a separate database loaded up with them as a Havant and Waterlooville player, your player must secure at least a 6 in his friendly, if he doesn’t then I’m afraid you are out of the competition.

Auditions will go in order of where you auditioned, starting in Belfast, then to Cardiff, then to Dublin, then London and finally to anywhere else where some fools have auditioned in places like Birmingham and Manchester.

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The X Factor - FM Edition, Series 1 – Lets Get Cracking!

Each player will have a separate database loaded up with them as a Havant and Waterlooville player, your player must secure at least a 6 in his friendly, if he doesn’t then I’m afraid you are out of the competition.

I was hoping i'd get an advantage by choosing a low CA/PA. Obviously not. Hope i manage to get through.

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I was hoping i'd get an advantage by choosing a low CA/PA. Obviously not. Hope i manage to get through.

Same here, although I really hope I can get through to the rounds where selflessness matters. I'm rather nervous about this - I have no idea how William Hoghead will do. :o

This is looking like it will turn into something special, Paul. Looking forward to it. :thup:

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Belfast Auditions -

Gary L: And so we arrived in Belfast, not much is expected of the candidates from Northern Ireland, but we hope a few of the Northern Irish lads will get through.

Alan H: They've got no chance, Arsenal are rubbish, Chelsea are rubbish, Man United are rubbish, Liverpool however, there's a team.

Gary L: Alan, Match of The Day is tomorrow!

I'm going to be doing each audition one my one, it might take a while but at least you'll be able to see that I am actually doing updates.

(First Audition from Belfast coming in next post)

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Belfast Audition 1 of 7

A young looking chap walked in through the audition doors, and stood face to face with the 3 judges...

Jose M: Hello

Mikael S: Hello, my name is Mikael Schøler

Steve R: You're presumably going for the 16-21 category

Mikael S: Yes, I am 16 years old

David B: Now, for your match you are going to be playing Billericay away

Mikael S: Ok....

*Imagine now that he's got into a magic box which lets him play in the 'match'*

Jose M: Well that was a bit of a thumping

Steve R: A bit of a thumping? They lost 7-1 for god sake!

David B: Can we see his match stats Steve?

Steve R: Ok...

Goal/Shot Attempts: 1/2

Shots On Target/Attempted: 1/2

Passes Succeeded/Attempted: 18/21

Headers Won/Attempted: 0/6

Steve R: He scored Havant's only goal in the game, although it was little more than a consolation goal. He only had 2 shots in the match, but bearing in mind his team only had 6 shots altogether it doesn't seem that bad. I'm impressed by his passing ability, but i'm a bit worried about his heading capabilities.

David B: Well Jose, yes or no?

Jose M: I think i'm going to have to say no on this one

David B: Steve?

Steve R: Despite Havant's awful loss, I can see a glimmer of potential in him, it's a yes from me.

David B: Mikael, I don't know if you have really got The X Factor

Mikael S: Please David, it's always been my dream to be a professional footballer, if you give me another chance where I have better team mates, then I wont let you down.

David B: Hmm, okay then, Mikael... You've got 2 yes'!

Mikael S: YES, Thank You , Thank You, I wont let you down!

The young Northern Irish hopeful then sprinted out of the audition room cheering and shouting praises to himself...

I'm not going to tell anybody the rating they got in the match until the end of the auditions, but if you get through you have a 6 or better, if you don't you have a 5 or worse.

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Belfast Audition 1 of 7

A young looking chap walked in through the audition doors, and stood face to face with the 3 judges...

Jose M: Hello

Mikael S: Hello, my name is Mikael Schøler

Steve R: You're presumably going for the 16-21 category

Mikael S: Yes, I am 16 years old

David B: Now, for your match you are going to be playing Billericay away

Mikael S: Ok....

*Imagine now that he's got into a magic box which lets him play in the 'match'*

Jose M: Well that was a bit of a thumping

Steve R: A bit of a thumping? They lost 7-1 for god sake!

David B: Can we see his match stats Steve?

Steve R: Ok...

Goal/Shot Attempts: 1/2

Shots On Target/Attempted: 1/2

Passes Succeeded/Attempted: 18/21

Headers Won/Attempted: 0/6

Steve R: He scored Havant's only goal in the game, although it was little more than a consolation goal. He only had 2 shots in the match, but bearing in mind his team only had 6 shots altogether it doesn't seem that bad. I'm impressed by his passing ability, but i'm a bit worried about his heading capabilities.

David B: Well Jose, yes or no?

Jose M: I think i'm going to have to say no on this one

David B: Steve?

Steve R: Despite Havant's awful loss, I can see a glimmer of potential in him, it's a yes from me.

David B: Mikael, I don't know if you have really got The X Factor

Mikael S: Please David, it's always been my dream to be a professional footballer, if you give me another chance where I have better team mates, then I wont let you down.

David B: Hmm, okay then, Mikael... You've got 2 yes'!

Mikael S: YES, Thank You , Thank You, I wont let you down!

The young Northern Irish hopeful then sprinted out of the audition room cheering and shouting praises to himself...

I'm not going to tell anybody the rating they got in the match until the end of the auditions, but if you get through you have a 6 or better, if you don't you have a 5 or worse.

This is absolutely brilliant! :thup:

I knew playing soccer in the backyard with my dad paid off.

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Paul, can you reveal your procedure? Do you play the match yourself or are you leaving it to the Ass. man? Are you using your favourite tactic or leaving it to random?

I skipped the first friendly (which was strangely against Pompey) and had a look to see which tactic the Ass Man used, I then asked the Ass Man to pick the team, replaced the striker that had played the worst in the Pompey friendly with Mikael, and then played the match (I would leave it to the Ass Man, but there's always the chance he'll sub your player off at half-time)

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Belfast Audition 2 of 7

A fairly old looking man walked in to the room the judges were sitting in...

Steve R: Hello

Disco S: Hello, my name is Disco Stu

Steve R: And how old are you?

Disco S: I'm 25, in the 22-25 age category

Steve R: I see, for your match you are going to be playing Billericay away (might as well make it fair and have them all play Billericay away

Disco S: Good, i'm really pumped up for it!

*Imagine now that he's got into a magic box which lets him play in the 'match'*

David B: Not bad, not bad, it was certainly better than our last audition

Jose R: 2-1 win you had Disco, but you didn't play a massive role in the victory

David B: Can we have his match stats Steve?

Steve R: Ok...

Goals/Shot Attempts: 0/5

Shots On Target/Attempted: 0/5

Passes Succeeded/Attempted: 12/19

Headers Won/Attempted: 4/9

Steve R: The 5 shots he had, none of which were on target which is fairly worrying, he's not the best passer, but he's above average.

He's quite good in the air too.

Jose M: David, yes or no?

David B: It's going to be a yes from me Jose, yourself?

Jose M: No, it's a no from me, I think he's past his best

David B: Steve?

Steve R: I'm really unsure, he played ok but I don't know if he can play any better

Disco S: Please Steve it means the World to me, I won let you down!

Steve R: pfft, go on then, 2 yes' you're through to the next round.

The Northern Irish 22-25 year old then calmly walked out, with his head held high...

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Each player will have a separate database loaded up with them as a Havant and Waterlooville player, your player must secure at least a 6 in his friendly, if he doesn’t then I’m afraid you are out of the competition.

I like to mix up which of the 3 says YES/NO, but as long as your player gets a 6 in the friendly against Billericay then they are through

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Belfast Audition 3 of 7

A fairly young man walked in through the audition doors and stood infront of the judges...

Steve R: Hello

Ross S: Hello my name is Ross Smith

Steve R: And how old are you Ross?

Ross S: I'm 19 years old

Jose M: As everybody else will, you will be playing Billericay!

*Magic occurs*

David B: 2-2, not a bad result at all, well Steve can we see his stats?

Steve R: Yes, they look like this:

Goals/Shot Attempts: 0/0

Shots On Target/Attempted: 0/0

Passes Succeeded/Attempted: 12/20

Tackles Won/Attempted: 0/0

Headers Won/Attempted: 3/6

Steve R: He didn't get a shot which was disappointing, he played a reasonable passing game, and his heading was acceptable.

Jose M: I'm not liking what i'm seeing, it's a no from me!

David B: I agree with Jose, it's a no from me too

Steve R: Sorry Ross, 3 no's i'm afraid

Ross S: okay, but i'll definitely be back next year!

The disappointed Northern Irish hopeful then walked out of the door, with his head held down.

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Unlucky Ross Smith, first person not to go through. Still means one less person for me to beat on my way to X Factor glory :D

*awaits elimination in the first round of auditions following his arrogance*

lmao

And this thread is looking quality, really really hoping I do get through :thup:

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Belfast Audition 4 of 7

A fairly experienced looking chap walked in and stood infront of the judges

JOK - Hello my name is Jimb O'Kav, i'm 26 years old, and I deserve this more than anyone else auditioning

Steve R: Well that's one impressive speech, you can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk? Lets find out...

*Magic game thing happens*

Jose M: Well, that was impressive

David B: I'll say! Can we see the match stats for that Steve?

Steve R: Yes, here they are...

Goals/Shot Attempts: 3/5

Shots on Target/Attempted: 4/5

Passes Succeeded/Attempted: 9/18

Headers Won/Attempted: 5/13

David B: Say no more Steve, say no more! Jose yes or no?

Jose M: Definitely yes, Steve?

Steve R: Without doubt, it's a yes from me

David B: Jimb, you've got 3 yes'!

JOK - Yes, yes, get the X FACTOR BEEP in!

the 26 year old then skipped out of the judging room singing ''There's only one, Jimb O'Kav, There's only one, Jimb O'Kav''

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