Goddammit, journalists.

Ok, to set the scene- we've just thrashed a minnow 8-0 in a cup tie. In this game, I gave two new signings debuts, and a young striker his first senior start. The young striker scored a hat-trick, his first three senior goals. Possession was 69-31, shots were 31-0. Add to that, the other team ended the game with nine men, due to a straight red in the second half and a late injury. We were expecting a rout, and we got it.

So, to the press conference, the one time I want to speak to you, even looking forward to it. And you ask me about... my right-back, who got an 8.2 rating, the second-lowest in my team (ahead of a GK who may as well have brought a deckchair and good book with him). Sure, he had a great game. Not the guy who got a hat-trick, or the debutants, or the AMC who got three assists. The right-back.

*headdesk*