Struggling with team meetings

Hoping to get a couple of quick responses if possible.

On the whole I am kind of struggling with the team talks/ tones etc. I can live with it and work through it but some things just don't appear to make sense.

Team meetings as the thread title suggests I am struggling and am yet to have a successful one.

As a background, I am in the second season with Everton, qualified for the group stages in the Europa league, managed a win over Man Utd to go through to the 4th round of the league cup, and, currently in the league doing quite poor. Sitting in 13th after 6 games having only won 2 and lost 4.

The most recent was a loss to Newcastle, wherein, as an overall the team played ok, though they were off their game a little (possible slight Utd hangover maybe), but, we took the lead at the 69 minute mark. Newcastle then equalised at 79, and stole the game in injury time with a late winner.

As the team had played quite well, and we were underdogs, my post match team talk was we were unlucky. Across the team everyone went to "relaxed and motivated, with a few also seemingly to "gain confidence".

On the whole I see that as quite positive.

The following day I am asked to hold a team meeting "urgently" regarding the morale in the squad, and this is where things to me just don't seem to make a lot of sense.

The choices I had to select from, were two based on we were playing well and I was happy with how things were going, and, one that we were doing ok, but could do better.

I went with Calm/doing ok, but could do better. The entire team gave a negative response with, "looked down and uninspired". For the life of me I just don't get why it would be that response.

Our performance in the Premier League is quite poor, so I can hardly be happy with how things are, yes, we have qualified for the group stages of the Europe League, so that is a positive, and yes, we are still on track in the League Cup, again this is psotive. That to me says yes overall we are doing ok , but we could do a lot better, i.e Premier League.

My process for a team meeting I figure is a fairly logical approach, though, I am fully prepared to accept that I am looking at it from the wrong perspective. But, if or when you are holding a meeting, one would assume that you would enter into it with a calm approach, address the issues and continue on from there.

To me going in with an aggressive approach is asking for trouble, assertive reeks of finger pointing, passionate a little to plaintive, cautious and reluctant, well, basically quit your job you shouldn't be there in the first place. Quite sound logic I feel.

My question then is, am I looking at it all from the wrong angles, as quite frankly I am at a bit of a loss and would possibly look to just pass on the team meetings altogether.

Postscript: From that response I then chose to ask the Captain(Neville), who “reluctantly” replied, they were doing as well as they can and I am being unrealistic.

“Assertively” ….. I am disappointed by that reaction.

I would like to think winning more than two Premier League matches so far is not unrealistic.

I am well and truly flummoxed.

13th after six games with Everton isn't that bad.

Aggressive - You would have told them you are unhappy they are not doing better

Assertive - You would have told them to do better

Passionate - You would have told them you believe they can do better

Calm - You would have told them you hope they can do better

Cautious - You would have told them unfortunately they have to do better

Reluctant - You would have told them they definitely should be doing better

Well that is my take on it. Could be wrong.

Possibly Welsh Lad, but I would have thought 3 wins and at least a draw would make for and ok start (hmm, maybe I am unrealistic )

Your take on the tones is interesting (and you could very well be right), as the first four are pretty straight forward and what you would expect as the onus is directly about you. The last two the onus shifts back to the team.

I am probably not explaining that very well, but the first four appear directly about your manner,

Calm - I feel you could

Passionate - I believe you can

Assertive - you will need to

Aggressive - you must do

If the last two follow suit being about your manner, the words themselves give rise to uncertainty

Cautious - I am not sure, but maybe we could be (and maybe strike lucky)

Reluctant - I have no idea what to say, but I have to say something, so I will have a stab and say (more of a wish and hope)

Your take maybe right, and I could simply be placing to much emphasis on the word and confusing myself...